Cinaptic

Bradley Cooper's Limitless Mandarin Chinese

2011-09-04T15:34:00.011-04:00

Lobster Bib

Warning, spoilers below!

There is much debate and confusion over what Eddie Morra (played by Bradley Cooper) said in Mandarin to the Chinese waiter at the end of Limitless (2011). Apparently, Bradley Cooper's Mandarin is largely unintelligible to Mandarin speakers, but after studying many comments online, reviewing Chinese subtitles, and researching Mandarin vocabulary, it is becoming clear that Eddie Morra and the waiter were joking with each other using two plays on words.

The problem is--due to cultural differences--people who understand Mandarin probably do not understand the full intent of the humorous exchange, and people who might understand the full intent of the exchange do not understand Mandarin. Of course, the poor Mandarin pronunciations are compounding the misunderstandings dramatically. The result is that no one--seemingly in the entire world--is getting the joke.

Here is an approximation of what was most likely said at the end of Limitless. (Note to all the Mandarin speakers: This is not a verbatim translation, which would be awkward in English. This is an interpretation of Mandarin that native English speakers should be able to understand properly in context.)

Eddie Morra: "I will have noodles, two scallion pancakes, and lobster with no MSG (weijing)."

Chinese Waiter: "But a scarf (weijin) will protect your clothes."

Eddie Morra: "But it won't help with my dirty hands."

The first joke here is in the Mandarin pun. The Mandarin word for MSG (weijing) is similar to a Mandarin word for scarf (weijin), which could conceivably be used to describe a lobster bib. (Note: In America, people commonly wear bibs while eating lobsters to protect their clothes from all of the juices that shoot out when cracking open shellfish. Americans sometimes refuse to wear the lobster bibs, because the bibs look tacky.) When Morra asked to have lobster with no MSG, the waiter joked with him using a play on the words for MSG/scarf (weijing/weijin), explaining he should not refuse the scarf (lobster bib) because it will protect his clothes. Morra then joked the bib will do nothing for his dirty hands.

This was a witty response to the waiter, but it has a deeper meaning. "Dirty hands" is a very common expression in English that insinuates one has figuratively gotten one's hands dirty from doing dirty deeds in the past. The irony here is that Morra was about to enter politics, and he had to do some dirty deeds in the past to rise to his level of success. Yes, Morra can eat his expensive dinner and enjoy his wonderful life, but he will be doing so with dirty hands. This joke revealed Morra was happy with his life but was not denying his considerable flaws and unfair advantages.

If that is truly what was said between the Chinese waiter and Morra, it was a good note on which to end Limitless. It is very unfortunate the director, Neil Burger, did not force Bradley Cooper to practice speaking Mandarin phonetically until he spoke the words clearly. If properly executed, that final exchange could have been an excellent moment in the movie and a clever conclusion to an interesting plot.

By the way, excuse the social commentary here, but Bradley Cooper is being ridiculed extensively for his mispronunciations of Manadrin words. Is it not strange people feel perfectly comfortable attacking Bradley Cooper for botching Mandarin, but making fun of Jet Li's English mispronunciations is considered racist? That is a very odd double standard.

Michelle Obama Wearing a Lobster Bib

Christopher Lee Connects Darth Vader, Frankenstein, and Death Race 2000 in Safari 3000

2010-09-10T19:55:00.007-04:00

Christopher Lee As Count Lorenzo Borgia in Safari 3000

Levy-Gardner-Laven - 1982

Safari 3000 is an obscure 1982 action movie about a long-distance auto race through Africa. Undoubtedly, Safari 3000 was heavily influenced by Death Race 2000.

In Safari 3000, David Carradine (Frankenstein from Death Race 2000) plays the lead role of Eddie Mills. Christopher Lee portrays, his nemesis, Count Lorenzo Borgia. Borgia seems to be a hybrid of Darth Vader and Frankenstein from Death Race 2000. Lorenzo Borgia's heavy black helmet is very similar to Darth Vader's. Borgia's shinny black suit is a bit similar to Frankenstein's racing suit.

Given the timing of this film, about seven years after the release of Death Race 2000 and almost exactly two years after the release of Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, we must assume the director of Safari 3000, Harry Hurwitz, was making thinly veiled tributes to Darth Vader and Death Race 2000. Perhaps, Hurwitz was specifically using the look of Count Borgia to play on the glaring similarities between Darth Vader and Death Race 2000's Frankenstein.

Count Lorenzo Borgia is definitely one of Christopher Lee's lesser roles. This respected British actor has a prestigious film career spanning more than sixty years. Many younger movie-goers might know Christopher Lee from his performances as Count Dooku (a.k.a. Darth Tyranus) in the Star Wars saga. When Anakin Skywalker killed Count Dooku in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, he created a job opening for a new Sith apprentice. Anakin Skywalker soon filled this position and became Darth Vader.

Ironically, in 1957, Christopher Lee appeared in The Curse of Frankenstein. In this film, Peter Cushing (Grand Moff Tarkin from Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope) portrayed Victor Frankenstein. Of course, Christopher Lee portrayed Frankenstein's Monster (a.k.a. Creature), one of many incarnations of the iconic horror character that would eventually inspire David Carradine's Frankenstein in Death Race 2000.

So there you have it. Christopher Lee, who portrayed Frankenstein's Monster, also portrayed Count Borgia who was a tribute to Darth Vader and Death Race 2000's Frankenstein. Decades later, Christopher Lee went on to portray another count who was Darth Vader's predecessor in the Star Wars saga--a character that died at the hands of the future Darth Vader.

You just can't make this stuff up. If you were trying to make this stuff up, however, you would just have to create a poetic scenario for revenge and have David Carradine as the actor portraying Emperor Palpatine (Darth Sidious), the one who finally brought about the death of Darth Vader. That, however, would probably be taking things too far. Besides, Ian McDiarmid was perfect in that role.

Have you seen Safari 3000? Did you notice other parallels to Star Wars or Death Race 2000?

Darth Vader, Frankenstein, Death Race 2000, and a Mid-1970s Scandal

2010-08-29T02:35:00.032-04:00

Death Race 2000 Promotional Poster

New World Pictures - 1975

The most infamous villain in the history of film is Darth Vader. Perhaps no character is more recognizable in more places and in more circles than this sinister figure. When presented with an image of Darth Vader, people of almost any generation or background will immediately recognize the signature World War II era Stahlhelm-inspired helmet, the black mask, black gloves, heavy black boots, the long black cape, etc.

Since the 1970s, the image of Darth Vader has become simply iconic, but what if it turns out that Darth Vader's look is not entirely original? What if another movie character arrived on the scene just before the creation of the Darth Vader we know and served as a key source of inspiration for the greatest movie villain of all time?

Death Race 2000 Promotional Poster

New World Pictures - 1975

Not to be confused with Death Race (the 2008 remake), Death Race 2000, inspired by Ib Melchior's 1956 short story "The Racer," is a hopelessly cheesy 1970s cult classic film about a futuristic long-distance auto race where drivers earn points by running down pedestrians and killing each other. One of the significant characters in the film, "Machine-Gun" Joe Viterbo, is portrayed by Sylvester Stallone (who would eventually lose the role of Han Solo to Harrison Ford). The main character in this film is Frankenstein. Portrayed by David Carradine, this central character earned the nickname Frankenstein for supposedly being horribly disfigured in a series of terrible auto accidents throughout his many years of competitive racing. Of course, the nickname comes from Frankenstein's monster in the classic 1818 novel by Mary Shelley. (Note: The main character in Ib Melchior's "The Racer" is Willie Connors, and the story states almost nothing about his physical appearance.)

In Death Race 2000, Frankenstein is revered as the greatest, most ferocious, and ruthless champion of his sport. As the film's legend goes, over the years, Frankenstein was pieced together through a series of reconstructive surgeries and had become barely human--a sort of monster. (That is what the characters in the movie are told anyway.)

If you have seen Death Race 2000, you were probably struck by how similar Frankenstein is to Darth Vader. Not only is Frankenstein a lone, mysterious warrior who had been disfigured in battle, he is feared by all and renowned for his exceptional talent. He also wears a helmet that somewhat resembles a Stahlhelm, a black mask, black gloves, heavy black boots, and a long black cape. To top it all off, Frankenstein even has a prosthetic right hand.

Frankenstein is so incredibly similar to Darth Vader in so many ways, one would instinctively theorize the director or costume designer for Death Race 2000 just stole the Darth Vader character or copied his concept as an homage or parody. There is, however, one huge problem with that theory: Death Race 2000 came out on April 27, 1975. The original Star Wars (currently known as Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope) was released on May 25, 1977.

Since Death Race 2000, predates Star Wars by more than two years, one must ask an obvious question: How could the makers of Death Race 2000 have possibly stolen from Star Wars? Even though it is difficult to track down exact dates on the production of Death Race 2000, it is nearly certain that much or all of the film's principal photography was completed by the end of 1974.

In 1975, the same year Death Race 2000 came out, George Lucas hired Ralph McQuarrie to make the first conceptual paintings for what was--around that time--called The Star Wars: From the Adventures of Luke Starkiller, a project that was generating very little interest in Hollywood and had little chance of ever getting produced. Given the timeline, it would have been practically impossible for anyone working on Death Race 2000 to know anything about Darth Vader's look or back-story while Death Race 2000 was still in production. There is a remote chance a rogue insider could have possibly had some limited knowledge of Darth Vader in 1974, but the odds of that are extremely small.

A far more logical explanation is that someone involved in the pre-production of Star Wars, either saw Death Race 2000 in a theater when it was released in 1975 or had knowledge of the film while it was still in production. The similarities between Darth Vader and Frankenstein are just too numerous to ignore. Clearly one character inspired the other in some fashion. It is just a matter of who, how, and when.

Frankenstein from Death Race 2000

New World Pictures - 1975

What is your opinion? Was Darth Vader inspired by Frankenstein from Death Race 2000? Could someone involved with Death Race 2000 have obtained knowledge of Darth Vader in time to rip off the character and work the concept into the film? Does it seem peculiar that "Death Race" and "Death Star" are such similar terms, and does that parallel also hint at a creative connection between the two films? Given the iconic status of Darth Vader and the fact the Star Wars saga has become ingrained in human culture over the last few decades, these are questions that are worth at least exploring.

Funny Games Is Seriously Sick

2008-06-24T18:47:00.008-04:00

Title

Funny Games (2007)

Directed by

Michael Haneke

Writing credits

Michael Haneke

Selected Cast

Naomi Watts ... Ann
Tim Roth ... George
Michael Pitt ... Paul
Brady Corbet ... Peter
Devon Gearhart ... Georgie
Boyd Gaines ... Fred
Siobhan Fallon ... Betsy (as Siobhan Fallon Hogan)
Robert LuPone ... Robert
Susanne C. Hanke ... Betsy's Sister-in-Law
Linda Moran ... Eve

Review

Funny Games (2007) is Michael Haneke’s remake of the 1997 Austrian film by the same name. The story covers the experience of a family who is held hostage in their vacation home by a pair of preppie sociopaths.

Funny Games is benefiting commercially from a bit of controversy. I watched the movie and quickly realized why the movie is generating controversy. In short, Funny Games is a sick movie. If you do not want spoilers, stop reading here. Otherwise, you are about to learn exactly why Funny Games is sick. (Spoilers in italics.)

The twisted preppie friends Paul (Michael Pitt) and Peter (Brady Corbet) take advantage of a nice, trusting family. Paul kills their golden retriever with a golf club and then takes the family hostage. They mentally and physically torture the family throughout the night. Eventually, Peter murders the family’s young (9 to 12 year old) son (Devon Gearhart) with a shotgun as part of a game. After more torture, they kill the father of the family (Tim Roth) with a knife and a shotgun as part of another game. With only the mother (Naomi Watts) left, Paul and Peter take her out on a sailboat and mercilessly drown her. In the final scene of the movie, we realize that Paul and Peter have found the next family they wish to torture and kill.

The plot of Funny Games just never went anywhere. The "games" are shallow, pointless, and uncreative. There is no big master plan or greater purpose. There is just no payoff, lesson, or enlightening experience in this movie. Funny Games could have redeemed itself by making some sort of an interesting and original point, but the movie did not cover any significant new ground (with the exception of a couple of rarely used cinematic devices, such as Paul directly speaking to the audience and some false foreshadowing).

Michael Haneke will probably defend himself by saying he made a commentary about violence, but that excuse is getting a little old, and he failed to establish any particular point of view with this movie. The result is a movie with gratuitous mental and physical torture where no unique or clever point ever presents itself. And, by the way, do not go into this movie expecting some big revelation or hidden twist. There are no big secrets in this movie. Once you figure out this is just about killing innocent people for fun, you pretty much have a full grasp of everything you are going to see.

If you like watching innocent animals, children, and adults get humiliated, tortured, and murdered for sport, you will love Funny Games. If you do not like that sort of thing, Funny Games will be a waste of your time and probably disgust you. Unless you are a sadistic person or budding serial killer, there is just nothing here for you.

Rating (1-10)

2

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The Blair Witch Project Meets Godzilla in Cloverfield

2008-04-24T17:24:00.010-04:00

Title

Cloverfield (2008)

Directed by

Matt Reeves

Writing credits

Drew Goddard

Selected Cast

Lizzy Caplan ... Marlena Diamond
Jessica Lucas ... Lily Ford
T.J. Miller ... Hudson 'Hud' Platt
Michael Stahl-David ... Rob Hawkins
Mike Vogel ... Jason Hawkins
Odette Yustman ... Beth McIntyre
Anjul Nigam ... Bodega Cashier
Margot Farley ... Jenn
Theo Rossi ... Antonio
Brian Klugman ... Charlie
Kelvin Yu ... Clark
Liza Lapira ... Heather
Lili Mirojnick ... Lei
Ben Feldman ... Travis

Review

Cloverfiled is the story of a group of friends fighting for survival as mysterious monsters attack New York City.

Cloverfield is somewhat like Godzilla (1998) and is shot in the style of The Blair Witch Project. The entire story takes place through the perspective of a camcorder in the hands of the actors. The film can get very confusing at times, but the trade off is a very unusual film, which is filled with surprises and tension. The single camera angle and narrow perspectives keep the audience in the dark and in states of paranoia and confusion.

The screenplay from Drew Goddard is fairly original and fresh. Director, Matt Reeves, did an excellent job of telling an interesting story in an inventive way. The result is a fun movie that is entertaining and worth your time.

By the way, when you watch Cloverfield on DVD, make sure to look for the subliminal flash of King Kong during the big helicopter crash at 1:06:51 (Chapter 14). Also, notice that something large (and far off in the distance) falls from the sky and crashes into the ocean off of Coney Island at 1:13:17 on the DVD (Chapter 15).

Rating (1-10)

8

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2006-04-06T14:36:00.001-04:00

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11:14 - Don't Miss a Minute of It

2006-03-10T14:05:00.002-05:00

Title

11:14 (2003)

Directed by

Greg Marcks

Writing credits

Greg Marcks

Selected Cast

Rachael Leigh Cook .... Cheri
Hilary Swank .... Buzzy
Patrick Swayze .... Frank
Barbara Hershey .... Norma
Clark Gregg .... Officer Hannagan
Shawn Hatosy .... Duffy
Stark Sands .... Tim
Colin Hanks .... Mark
Ben Foster .... Eddie
Henry Thomas .... Jack
Blake Heron .... Aaron

Review

11:14 is the chronicle of events leading up to a single tragic moment one night in a small town.

First, I need to expose the movie promoters for trying to trick the movie-going public. In an irresponsible and deceptive move, the promoters decided to market 11:14 as another I Know What You Did Last Summer type movie. The reality is that 11:14 is almost nothing like the trailer the studio is running to promote the film.

11:14 is a dark comedy, a very, very dark comedy. What makes 11:14 superior to most dark comedies is the writing and directing. Most notably, the movie jumps around in time and follows multiple characters in multiple story lines that intersect in unexpected ways. This method of storytelling is not entirely original, but it is rare and very difficult to execute. Mystery Train, Pulp Fiction, and Momento are some good examples of excellent non-linear storytelling, and 11:14 has earned the right to be mentioned along with these other great films.

11:14 features a star-studded cast, who fits perfectly into the fascinating tale of irony and coincidence that was written and directed by the promising new filmmaker, Greg Marcks. 11:14 is a smart film that requires a lot from the viewer but is sure to please any intelligent and observant movie-watcher looking for something beyond the typical studio formula films that come out each week.

Rating (1-10)

9

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Lord of War Is Anti-Gun Propaganda

2006-01-18T14:12:00.001-05:00

Title

Lord of War (2005)

Directed by

Andrew Niccol

Writing credits

Andrew Niccol

Selected Cast

Nicolas Cage .... Yuri Orlov
Bridget Moynahan .... Ava Fontaine
Jared Leto .... Vitaly Orlov
Ethan Hawke .... Jack Valentine
Shake Tukhmanyan .... Irina Orlov
Jean-Pierre Nshanian .... Anatoly Orlov
Eamonn Walker .... Andre Baptiste Sr.
Sammi Rotibi .... Andre Baptiste Jr.
Jasper Lenz .... Gregor
Kobus Marx .... Boris
Stephan De Abreu .... Liev
Ian Holm .... Simeon Weisz
Tanya Finch .... Ingrid

Review

Lord of War is the story of a gunrunner who rises to the top and must face the horrors committed with his merchandise.

Lord of War was promoted as a humorous action movie, but it is far from that. WARNING: Spoilers in italics. This film is a dark and depressing tale that closely follows the standard Mafia Don formula: A young immigrant turns to a life of crime, takes some big chances, rises to power, tries to go straight, makes one last deal, and loses everything. Basically, we’ve seen it all before.

Lord of War does not have much of a story, and that is because the film spends too much time preaching to the audience about how terrible guns are. Lord of War naively fails to confront the more serious issue of why wars and genocide have existed throughout most of human history. This issue would make for a good film, but this rather shallow film never once delves into the psychology of a warlord. Why do people kill each other? Certainly, it is not only because they have guns.

Lord of War makes several common film mistakes. The narration is overused, the supporting cast (specifically Ethan Hawke) is underused, and the pacing of the film is far too slow. There just is not much interesting material, and the characters are not engaging.

Lord of War is an overly political movie that has too little substance to go anywhere and does not have much to say. If you want to know the message of Lord of War, it’s very simple: People don’t kill people. Guns kill people. If you agree with this message, you will love Lord of War. If you disagree, you will be very disappointed and annoyed.

Rating (1-10)

4

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Two for the Money Bets on Characters

2006-01-17T18:57:00.002-05:00

Title

Two for the Money (2005)

Directed by

D.J. Caruso

Writing credits

Dan Gilroy

Selected Cast

Al Pacino .... Walter Abrams
Matthew McConaughey .... Brandon Lang
Rene Russo .... Toni Morrow
Armand Assante .... Novian
Jeremy Piven .... Jerry
Jaime King .... Alexandria
Carly Pope .... Tammy
Charles Carroll .... Chuck
Gerard Plunkett .... Herbie
Craig Veroni .... Amir
James Kirk .... Denny
Ralph Garman .... Reggie
Chrislyn Austin .... Julia
Kevin Chapman .... Southie
Gedde Watanabe .... Milton

Review

Two for the Money is about a sports-gambling genius who becomes the protégé of a high profile betting advisor.

Two for the Money does not have much of a plot, but the plot is secondary, because this film is highly character-driven. Matthew McConaughey is very likeable and believable. Al Pacino does an incredible job of playing a loveable scumbag. Remarkably well-written dialog aids their performances and makes for some entertaining exchanges that range from humorous to intense.

A weak point of the film is the football footage, which seemed strange and fake. It just kept taking me out of the movie. For example, the big football game in Two for the Money is Super XXXX. I guess the producers were trying to save money by not paying for Super Bowl rights, but why didn’t they at least get the Roman numerals right? Were they going to get sued by the NFL for Super XL? These awkward sports-related details damage the film’s credibility. The director should have found some more effective ways to dance around all of those tightly controlled copyrights.

Overall, Two for the Money is a pretty good film, with some engaging characters. If you’re a Pacino fan, you will definitely enjoy his performance.

Rating (1-10)

7

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Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai, Jarmusch’s Best Film

2006-01-13T12:45:00.001-05:00

Title

Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (1999)

Directed by

Jim Jarmusch

Writing credits

Jim Jarmusch

Selected Cast

Forest Whitaker .... Ghost Dog
John Tormey .... Louie
Cliff Gorman .... Sonny Valerio
Frank Minucci .... Big Angie
Richard Portnow .... Handsome Frank
Tricia Vessey .... Louise Vargo
Henry Silva .... Ray Vargo
Victor Argo .... Vinny
Damon Whitaker .... Young Ghost Dog
Vince Viverito .... Johnny Morini
Yan Ming Shi .... Kung-Fu Master
Vinny Vella .... Sammy the Snake (as Vinnie Vella)

Review

Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai is the story of a mob hit man who lives his life by the code of the samurai (Hagakure).

This film (Jarmusch’s best) has gotten mixed reviews because the film has the image of being a funky ghetto martial arts movie. Fortunately, the ghetto martial arts aspect makes up only about 10% of the film. This is not a hip-hop movie. It is not a martial arts movie. Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai is about dignity, respect, and finding purpose in life.

Forest Whitaker gives one of his best performances in portraying Ghost Dog, a hitman who lives on his own terms for his own honor. With that said, the film is highly character-driven. The audience spends the entire film learning to understand Ghost Dog and why he makes such unusual choices for his life.

Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai is tender, charming, sad, funny, and inspiring. The score is incredible, and the screenplay is even better.

Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai is a great example of why independent films are important.

Rating (1-10)

9

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Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai (Say This Is Love), a Bollywood Breakthrough

2006-01-12T13:25:00.001-05:00

Title

Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai (2000)

Directed by

Rakesh Roshan

Writing credits

Rakesh Roshan
Sagar Sarhadi
Honey Irani
Ravi Kapoor

Selected Cast

Hrithik Roshan .... Rohit Chopra
Hrithik Roshan .... Raj Chopra
Amisha Patel .... Sonia Saxena
Anupam Kher .... Saxena
Dalip Tahil .... Shakti Malik
Mohnish Bahl .... Insp. Kadam
Ashish Vidyarthi .... Insp. Shinde
Satish Shah .... Rohit's landlord
Farida Jalal .... Lily
Tanaaz Currim .... Neeta
Vrajesh Hirjee .... Tony
Asha Patel .... Mrs. Chopra

Review

Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai is the epic love story of a rich young woman and her true love, a singer from a poor family.

While this film does not have particularly engaging story, it is a breakthrough for Indian film. Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai combines the Indian movie conventions with those of American action films. The idea was to, merge the two types of film to create a new type of film for India’s younger movie audiences.

Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai executes this merge fairly well. The film has many huge musical numbers and fancy costumes that keep with traditional Indian expectations, but the film also has guns, chases, murders, and intrigue to appeal to India’s youth, which is gradually becoming more Americanized in their tastes.

The story of Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai is slow, tedious, and unbelievable, but the film has great music, excellent cinematography, and stunning locations. It also features a strong performance from Hrithik Roshan, who carries this film and deserves his notoriety.

Rating (1-10)

5

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The Cave: Aliens with Cave Divers

2006-01-11T13:12:00.002-05:00

Title

The Cave (2005)

Directed by

Bruce Hunt

Writing credits

Michael Steinberg
Tegan West

Selected Cast

Cole Hauser .... Jack
Morris Chestnut .... Top Buchanan
Eddie Cibrian .... Tyler
Rick Ravanello .... Briggs
Marcel Iures .... Dr. Nicolai
Kieran Darcy-Smith .... Strode
Daniel Dae Kim .... Kim
Lena Headey .... Kathryn
Piper Perabo .... Charlie
Vlad Radescu .... Dr. Bacovia
Simon Kunz .... Mike
David Kennedy .... Ian
Alin Panc .... Razvan
Zoltan Butuc .... Corvin
Brian Steele .... Creature

Review

The Cave is a horror movie about a team of cave divers that disturb a colony of subterranean monsters.

The Cave is basically a very close cousin to the Alien films; however, the story takes place on Earth in caves during the present day. The underwater cinematography is beautiful, and the movie is entertaining, but there is little in The Cave that we have not seen before in movies such as Aliens, Pitch Black, Alone in the Dark, etc.

The Cave is not necessarily a bad film, but the material is 90% recycled. The Cave is pretty much the standard “man-eating creatures in the shadows” film. If you watch The Cave, don’t be surprised if you’re not surprised.

Rating (1-10)

5

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Transporter 2 Fails to Deliver the Equal Sequel

2006-01-10T14:12:00.002-05:00

Title

Transporter 2 (2005)

Directed by

Louis Leterrier

Writing credits

Luc Besson
Robert Mark Kamen

Selected Cast

Jason Statham .... Frank Martin
Alessandro Gassman .... Gianni
Amber Valletta .... Audrey Billings
Kate Nauta .... Lola
Matthew Modine .... Mr. Billings
Jason Flemyng .... Dimitri
Keith David .... Stappleton
Hunter Clary .... Jack Billings
Shannon Briggs .... Max
François Berléand .... Tarconi
Raymond Tong .... Rastaman
George Kapetan .... Dr. Sonovitch
Jeff Chase .... Vasily
Gregg Weiner .... Tipov

Review

Transporter 2 is an action movie about of a professional precision driver who has to rescue the kidnapped son of a wealthy family.

Being a big fan of the original Transporter, I was eagerly anticipating this sequel. Unfortunately, I was disappointed. Transporter 2 falls far short of the mark set by the original film.

Jason Statham stays true to his previously established character, but most of the other actors are off a bit. The acting is just not that good. The dialog is also weakened by a bunch of cheesy lines. The score seems awkward and out-of-place, as if it had been written for another movie.

There are some egregious flaws with the special effects. The computer generated imaging look cartoonish, like effects in made-for-TV movies.

Even with those problems, Transporter 2’s biggest flaw is the manufactured story that repeatedly uses numerous martial art film cliches. There is very little in this movie that has not already been shown in good martial arts films from Jackie Chan and bad ones from Jean-Claude Van Damme and (gasp) Steven Seagal.

The good thing about Transporter 2 is that it is reasonably entertaining. There are some great car chases, stunts, and fight sequences. The pacing of the movie is fast, so there are not many opportunities for boredom.

If you’re a big Jason Statham fan, you should see Transporter 2. Otherwise don’t go out of your way to see it.

Rating (1-10)

6

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The Transporter Delivers Great Action

2006-01-09T14:10:00.001-05:00

Title

The Transporter (2002)

Directed by

Louis Leterrier
Corey Yuen

Writing credits

Luc Besson
Robert Mark Kamen

Selected Cast

Jason Statham .... Frank Martin
Qi Shu (Shu Qi) .... Lai
Matt Schulze .... Darren 'Wall Street' Bettencourt
François Berléand .... Tarconi
Ric Young .... Mr. Kwai
Didier Saint Melin .... Boss

Review

The Transporter is an action film about a professional, high-risk delivery driver who gets into trouble when he gets involved with his female cargo.

The Transporter is one of those small action films with surprising quality. The story is fairly good. The characters are interesting. The pacing is fast, and the action is incredible.

Even though The Transporter is an overall good movie, it excels in two areas: driving and fighting. The car chases through the narrow European streets are spectacular and evoke the great precision driving of the 007 films. The fight scenes are even more remarkable. The martial arts sequences are surprisingly creative and unique. It’s amazing how many different ways they found for Statham to beat people up.

The Transporter is Jason Statham’s best film and is a must-see for any one who enjoys great car chases and martial arts.

Rating (1-10)

8

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Red Eye Maintains Altitude

2006-01-07T14:21:00.001-05:00

Title

Red Eye (2005)

Directed by

Wes Craven

Writing credits

Carl Ellsworth

Selected Cast

Rachel McAdams .... Lisa Reisert
Cillian Murphy .... Jackson Rippner
Brian Cox .... Joe Reisert
Jayma Mays .... Cynthia
Jack Scalia .... William Keefe
Theresa Press-Marx .... Marianne Taylor
Robert Pine .... Bob Taylor
Brittany Oaks .... Rebecca

Review

Red Eye is the story of a female airline passenger being blackmailed by a psychotic killer into assisting in an assassination.

Red Eye is a significant departure for, director, Wes Craven. Craven has become famous for making terrifying horror movies, but Red Eye has very little in common with his previous films. Red Eye has almost no gore and few shocking scenes. Red Eye is about anxiety and the fear of being trapped in a hopeless predicament.

Rachel McAdams does an excellent job with her role and proves that she has what it takes to carry a movie as a lead actress. A few years from now, they will look on Red Eye as McAdams' big break. Red Eye could do for Rachel McAdams what Speed did for Sandra Bullock.

Cillian Murphy was miscast as Jackson Rippner. From his first scene, Cillian Murphy is just too creepy for this film. The film would have been much stronger with a villain who was likeable at first and then revealed his dark side at an unexpected moment. This character was scary from the start, and he should have been a charming and disarming person in the beginning of the film. Villains who can make themselves deceptively likeable are always psychologically terrifying. This role should have gone to a Matt Damon or Heath Ledger type.

Overall, Red Eye is a pretty good film that delivers what it promises. It’s a straightforward, high-tension thriller that kept my interest from beginning to end.

Rating (1-10)

7

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Devdas, India’s Doctor Zhivago

2006-01-06T12:44:00.001-05:00

Title

Devdas (2002)

Directed by

Sanjay Leela Bhansali

Writing credits

Sanjay Leela Bhansali (screenplay)
Saratchandra Chatterjee (as Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay) (novel)
Prakash Kapadia (screenplay)

Selected Cast

Shahrukh Khan .... Devdas Mukherjee
Madhuri Dixit .... Chandramukhi
Aishwarya Rai .... Parvati ('Paro')
Jackie Shroff .... Chunnilal
Kiron Kher .... Sumitra
Smita Jaykar .... Kaushalya
Tiku Talsania .... Dharamdas
Vijayendra Ghatge .... Bhuvan Choudhry
Milind Gunaji .... Kalibabu
Ananya Khare .... Kumud
Manoj Joshi .... Dwijdas
Dina Pathak .... Bhuvan's mother
Ava Mukherji .... Dev's badi-ma
Vijay Crishna .... Narayan Mukherjee
Sunil Rege .... Neelkant

Review

Devdas is the story of a forbidden love between a wealthy young man and his childhood friend from an undesirable family.

Devdas is considered by many to be one of the best films to ever come out of Bollywood. This Indian film evokes the grandiose days of lavish Hollywood musicals. The sets are enormous, colorful and beautiful. The musical numbers are surreal presentations with dozens of dancers in bright costumes. The music is excellent and represents the best of Indian show music. Devdas is quite the artistic spectacle.

Like many classic Hollywood films, Devdas has a long, meandering plot that progresses rather slowly; however, Devdas has a big story with a lot of well-developed characters. With all that being said, here’s your warning. Most of the dialog in Devdas is in Hindi and Bengali. If you don’t like reading subtitles, you might find watching this film to be a challenge.

Rating (1-10)

7

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Hustle & Flow Asks You to Have a Dream

2006-01-05T14:46:00.001-05:00

Title

Hustle & Flow (2005)

Directed by

Craig Brewer

Writing credits

Craig Brewer

Selected Cast

Terrence Howard .... DJay
Anthony Anderson .... Key
Taryn Manning .... Nola
Taraji P. Henson .... Shug
DJ Qualls .... Shelby
Paula Jai Parker .... Lexus
Elise Neal .... Yevette
Isaac Hayes .... Arnel
Ludacris .... Skinny Black
Jordan Houston .... Tigga
Bobby Sandimanie .... Yellow Jacket
Haystak .... Mickey
Claude Phillips .... Harold
Josey Scott .... Elroy

Review

Hustle & Flow is a film about a Memphis pimp who, with help from his friends, pursues his rap dreams.

The first half of Hustle & Flow is very slow and uneventful; however, the film’s energy picks up quite a bit when the characters begin to get their visions of success and begin to pursue their dreams.

The dialog is well-written, and the acting is very believable. The characters are strong and sympathetic. The story is original and the music is good. Hustle & Flow should do wonders for the Memphis rap scene.

Rating (1-10)

7

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Broken Flowers Searches for Meaning

2006-01-04T17:43:00.001-05:00

Title

Broken Flowers (2005)

Directed by

Jim Jarmusch

Writing Credits

Jim Jarmusch

Selected Cast

Bill Murray .... Don Johnston
Julie Delpy .... Sherry
Heather Simms .... Mona
Brea Frazier .... Rita
Mark Webber .... The Kid
Jeffrey Wright .... Winston
Alexis Dziena .... Lolita
Sharon Stone .... Laura Daniels Miller
Frances Conroy .... Dora Anderson
Christopher McDonald .... Ron
Chloë Sevigny .... Carmen's Assistant
Suzanne Hevner .... Mrs. Dorston
Jessica Lange .... Dr. Carmen Markowski
Chris Bauer .... Dan
Larry Fessenden .... Will
Tilda Swinton .... Penny
Pell James .... Sun Green

Review

Broken Flowers is the story of an over-the-hill Casanova who travels the country visiting old lovers in a search for the mother of the son he’s never met.

Broken Flowers has a lot to offer. Bill Murray is always entertaining, even in a semi-serious film like this one. The director makes good use of symbolism and recurring imagery (e.g., wardrobe parallels, flowers, and the color pink). The humor is subtle and true.

Cinematography is one of the film’s strongest elements. The wide shots of lush country landscapes and worn down urban areas seem to convey a sense of loneliness and beauty all at once.

The pacing of Broken Flowers is extremely slow, which does fit with the tone of the film, but the slow scene progressions often get a little tedious.

Don’t go into this film expecting a lot. Just enjoy it for what it is. Even though the ending does make a statement, it is a bit vague and will disappoint many.

Rating (1-10)

6

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Wedding Crashers Is a Romantic Comedy Without an Invitaion

2006-01-03T14:43:00.001-05:00

Title

Wedding Crashers (2005)

Directed by

David Dobkin

Writing Credits

Steve Faber
Bob Fisher

Selected Cast

Owen Wilson .... John Beckwith
Vince Vaughn .... Jeremy Grey
Christopher Walken .... Treasury Secretary William Cleary
Rachel McAdams .... Claire Cleary
Isla Fisher .... Gloria Cleary
Jane Seymour .... Kathleen Cleary
Ellen Albertini Dow .... Grandma Mary Cleary
Keir O'Donnell .... Todd Cleary
Bradley Cooper .... Zack "Sack" Lodge
Ron Canada .... Randolph
Henry Gibson .... Father O'Neil
Dwight Yoakam .... Mr. Kroeger
Rebecca De Mornay .... Mrs. Kroeger
David Conrad .... Trap

Review

Wedding Crashers is the story of two playboys who crash weddings to pickup emotional and vulnerable women.

Even though Wedding Crashers was not promoted as a romantic comedy, it is. That’s not all bad, because the story contains enough dark comedy to give this film some individuality.

The movie has a fairly flimsy story and could have been a disaster, but it was saved by excellent casting. Owen Wilson’s sensitive scoundrel persona worked perfectly for his character. Vince Vaughan’s aggressive comic timing is incredible and keeps many of the scenes moving. Christopher Walken is good as always, but the script came nowhere close to making proper use of his extensive comedic talent.

The movie starts out strong and keeps up the pace for the first forty-five minutes; however, there is an extensive period toward the middle where the story loses steam and gets bogged down in typical devices of romantic comedies. The movie saves itself toward the end with the appearance of Will Ferrell, who is just enough to bring in some much-needed laughs to close the movie with a decent ending.

This is not a great movie, but Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughan make it worth seeing.

Rating (1-10)

7

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High Tension Lives up to Its Name

2006-01-02T14:43:00.002-05:00

Title

High Tension (2003) (aka Haute tension)

Directed by

Alexandre Aja

Writing Credits

Alexandre Aja
Grégory Levasseur

Selected Cast

Cécile De France .... Marie
Maïwenn Le Besco .... Alexia (as Maïwenn)
Philippe Nahon .... The Killer
Franck Khalfoun .... Jimmy
Andrei Finti .... Alex's Father
Oana Pellea .... Alex's Mother
Marco Claudiu Pascu .... Tom
Jean-Claude de Goros .... Police Captain
Bogdan Uritescu .... Gendarme
Gabriel Spahiu .... Homme voiture

Review

High Tension is the story of a sexually twisted serial killer that terrorizes a family in a farmhouse in the French countryside and captures a young woman. Her friend goes on a desperate chase to rescue her before she is killed.

The studio is playing down the fact that High Tension is a French film. Americans know that French films are generally weak, pretentious, and dull, and the studio knew that they could get this film into the mainstream with some good English dubbing and a few minor script adjustments.

The results of this adaptation are amazing. High Tension is an original, horrifying, and thrilling film that excels in almost every area. The dubbed dialog is the films weakest point, but the French probably did not want to spend the time and money for parallel bilingual shooting (a device that is rarely used in film).

High Tension’s greatest element is creativity. Due to excellent writing, the story is unique, inventive, and bound to hold almost the attention of almost any horror fan.

The directing on High Tension is masterful. Fast pacing and skillful storytelling maintains a nearly constant level of anxiety throughout the film.

If you watch High Tension, pay very close attention to every detail. The ending will confuse you if you do not take the entire plot into account.

Rating (1-10)

8

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Plan 9 from Outer Space Is One of the Worst Films Ever Made

2006-01-01T13:46:00.001-05:00

Title

Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)

Directed by

Edward D. Wood Jr.

Writing Credits

Edward D. Wood Jr.

Selected Cast

Gregory Walcott .... Jeff Trent
Mona McKinnon .... Paula Trent
Duke Moore .... Lt. John Harper
Tom Keene .... Col. Tom Edwards
Carl Anthony .... Patrolman Larry
Paul Marco .... Patrolman Kelton
Tor Johnson .... Insp. Dan Clay
Dudley Manlove .... Eros
Joanna Lee .... Tanna
John Breckinridge .... The Ruler
Lyle Talbot .... General Roberts
David De Mering .... Danny
Norma McCarty .... Edith
Bill Ash .... Captain
Conrad Brooks .... Patrolman Jamie
Vampira .... Vampire Girl
Bela Lugosi .... Ghoul Man
Criswell .... Himself

Review

Plan 9 from Outer Space is the story of aliens using their advanced technology to raise humans from the dead and take over the Earth.

Plan 9 from Outer Space, made famous on Seinfeld, is one of the worst movies ever made. The story makes almost no sense, the acting is horrible, the special effects are insanely bad, and for some reason there’s a vampire walking around for most of the film.

If you are looking to entertain yourself with a truly horrible film, Plan 9 form Outer Space will not disappoint you.

Rating (1-10)

1

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Trainspotting, the Greatest Film About Addiction

2005-12-31T13:54:00.002-05:00

Title

Trainspotting (1996)

Directed by

Danny Boyle

Writing Credits

Irvine Welsh (novel)
John Hodge

Selected Cast

Ewan McGregor .... Renton
Ewen Bremner .... Spud
Jonny Lee Miller .... Sick Boy
Kevin McKidd .... Tommy
Robert Carlyle .... Begbie
Kelly Macdonald .... Diane
Peter Mullan .... Swanney
James Cosmo .... Mr. Renton
Eileen Nicholas .... Mrs. Renton
Susan Vidler .... Allison
Pauline Lynch .... Lizzy
Shirley Henderson .... Gail
Stuart McQuarrie .... Gavin/US Tourist
Irvine Welsh .... Mikey Forrester
Dale Winton .... Game Show Host

Review

Trainspotting is the story of a junkie with a heart of gold who tries to go straight while battling with the pressures from his drug-addicted friends.

Trainspotting is funny, depressing, hopeful, and frustrating. The director uses humor and charm to deal with the unsettling underworld of drug-addiction. The film has colorful characters that are well-developed and engaging.

Trainspotting is light-hearted at many times but often slaps the viewer in the face with the horrific realities of drug abuse. The biggest taste of reality in Trainspotting happens at the turning point. Here the audience see one of the most troubling images ever shown in a film. (Warning, if you have any heart at all, this startling image will stick with you for days, weeks, or more.)

Despite many uncomfortable episodes, Trainspotting is simply the best film ever made about addiction. Ewan McGregor gives his finest performance and brings an unforgettable character to life. Do not miss this film.

Rating (1-10)

10

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Identity, an Excellent Thriller

2005-12-30T14:35:00.001-05:00

Title

Identity (2003)

Directed by

James Mangold

Writing Credits

Michael Cooney

Selected Cast

John Cusack .... Ed
Ray Liotta .... Rhodes
Amanda Peet .... Paris
John Hawkes .... Larry
Alfred Molina .... Dr. Malick
Clea DuVall .... Ginny
John C. McGinley .... George York
William Lee Scott .... Lou
Jake Busey .... Robert Maine
Pruitt Taylor Vince .... Malcolm Rivers
Rebecca De Mornay .... Caroline Suzanne (as Rebecca DeMornay)
Carmen Argenziano .... Defense Lawyer
Marshall Bell .... District Attorney
Leila Kenzle .... Alice York
Matt Letscher .... Assistant District Attorney

Review

Identity is the story of an eclectic group of people trapped in a creepy hotel and struggle to identify the murderer among them as they are killed off one by one.

Identity is one of those mind-bending thrillers that you just cannot help but love.

The cast is perfect. In particular John Cusak and Amanda Peet give superior performances.

The story is the best element of the film. The plot is complicated and confusing, but that is because it has to be. This is one of those films with twists and turns that demand complete attention for the entire duration of the film.

The directing is spectacular as evidenced by the effective use of foreshadowing and imagery. The director always gives the audience just enough to keep things interesting without giving away the big secrets.

Identity is one of the greatest thrillers released in this decade and should become a classic in league with Psycho.

Rating (1-10)

10

Note: Identity was originally titled ID. You will know that you really understood the film if you understand why the original title was superior.

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The Machinist Works

2005-12-29T14:13:00.001-05:00

Title

The Machinist (2004)

Directed by

Brad Anderson

Writing Credits

Scott Kosar

Selected Cast

Christian Bale .... Trevor Reznik
Jennifer Jason Leigh .... Stevie
Aitana Sánchez-Gijón .... Marie
John Sharian .... Ivan
Michael Ironside .... Miller
Larry Gilliard Jr. .... Jackson (as Larry Gilliard)
Reg E. Cathey .... Jones
Anna Massey .... Mrs. Shrike
Matthew Romero Moore .... Nicholas (as Matthew Romero)
Robert Long .... Supervisor Furman
Colin Stinton .... Inspector Rogers
Craig Stevenson .... Tucker
Ferrán Lahoz .... Gonzales (as Ferran Lahoz)
Jeremy Xidu .... Evangelisti

Review

The Machinist is the story of an insomniac suffering a mental breakdown after the world seemingly turns against him in the wake of a horrible shop accident.

The Machinist is an excellent film in the tradition of Momento. Creative storytelling makes this amazing and challenging script come to life.

Brilliant directing employs ubiquitous symbolism to foreshadow the revelation of the films shocking secret. The director skillfully uses color to drive the story. The film is nearly devoid of color except for the scenes and images of the most importance.

As the lead actor, Christian Bale gives his best performance. He manages to be both creepy and sympathetic at the same time, allowing the audience to emotionally invest in a rather unappealing character.

The Machinist is a truly original film, and deserves the attention of all thriller fans.

Rating (1-10)

9

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Hero Puts the Art in Martial Arts

2005-12-28T13:40:00.001-05:00

Title

Hero (2002) (aka Ying Xiong)

Directed by

Yimou Zhang

Writing Credits

Feng Li
Bin Wang
Yimou Zhang

Selected Cast

Jet Li .... Nameless
Tony Leung Chiu Wai .... Broken Sword
Maggie Cheung .... Flying Snow
Ziyi Zhang .... Moon (as Zhang Ziyi)
Daoming Chen .... King of Qin
Donnie Yen .... Sky

Review

Hero is the story of the ultimate assassins in feudal China in a rebellion against the Emperor.

In the style of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Hero takes martial arts to a high art with amazing sets, beautiful choreography, and fascinating mythology.

The most notable element of this film is the visual presentation. The sets are huge, gorgeous, and filled with color. The incredible use of color is what makes this film unique. This film’s plot is driven by a series of flashbacks with differing versions. Each version of the flashbacks cleverly uses different color schemes to hold the interest of the viewer and clarify the details of this complex tale.

Rating (1-10)

9

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