One more date will be forever etched in my mind just like September 11, 2001, February 19, 2002, and April 19, 1995.

It was a Monday and conditions were ripe for severe weather. I felt it in the air. We all did. Yet nothing was on the radar and although the humidity must have been 1,000%, the skies were clear and the sun triumphed through the clouds. The day was nice.

I was trying to decide if I was going to take my 14-year old son to his guitar lesson. The reason for my dilemma was the time frame and the fact that the lesson is 45 minutes away. And while there wasn’t a storm now, there might have been one on my drive home. We live in the far northwest corner of Edmond, Oklahoma, and the lesson is in Midwest City. My husband asked if I was going. I told him I was thinking about it. His reply via text: “I wouldn’t risk it.”

So I heeded his caution, stayed home and watched the news coverage.

There was nothing on radar at 2:00 when we normally leave. Nothing at 2:30 which made me doubt my decision. Clouds were swirling about 30 miles south of me at 2:48. And then this at 2:58.

I literally watched this tornado from start to finish. I watched the clouds start lowering. Then I saw the slender funnel touch ground, pop back up and then finally take up residence on Oklahoma soil. And within a minute, it went from a skinny, thin funnel to the picture you see above. And within four minutes, it was this:

For the rest of the afternoon and evening, I kept my eyes peeled to our local news channels. I went between News 4, News 5 and News 9 and they were outstanding, professional and caring in their coverage. I personally think that the best meteorologists are in Oklahoma City and other areas that are within Tornado Alley.

While watching the coverage, I couldn’t keep the tears at bay. They flowed like the mighty Mississippi for the better part of May 20th.

And May 21st.

And May 22nd.

And even into May 23rd.

I wondered how long I would wear my emotions on my sleeve. Even today, I am still emotional and a bit on the teary side. And I didn’t have anyone or anything taken from me that day.

The tornado was 30 miles south of us. And in tornado terms, that is far away. Not only that, we who reside in Oklahoma know exactly how these tornadoes work. We know the directions they can shift. We know how long we have before we have to quit taking pictures and video and get underground or in our safe rooms. We know to put as many walls between us and the tornado as possible. We know to grab blankets and pillows and take cover. Because my family wasn’t in danger, we stayed glued to the TV.

The meteorologists were calling out street names and I knew that people lived on those streets and were scared as they took cover in shelters or in closets or in bathrooms. I felt that fear for them. So I prayed.

And then the pictures came. Of businesses, houses, and the schools. I could not hold it together if I had tried as I learned of the deaths of the children who didn’t survive. My heart has a huge, gaping hole in it right now as I try to even get a small grasp of what the parents were feeling that day as they learned the news. Or for the parents who searched for hours trying to find their child only to find them…gulp.

I must have hugged my sons on the hour every hour that night and for the days to come. Every time I would see them, I would reach out and pull them into my arms. My youngest didn’t mind but hugging a 14-year old who doesn’t like to be touched isn’t always easy. Nonetheless, he let me embrace his six-foot, thin frame. And as I did, I could not help but sob in gratitude that he was alive and also in guilt that he was alive.

Because another momma’s child wasn’t.

As one of my dear friends says, “Oh my heart.”

The restoration and relief journey will be a long one. But many of the displaced 2,400 families are finding new homes already. It will take an entire nation to help. Thankfully, the churches of the greater OKC area are rallying together and truly being the Body of Christ for those affected. It is a beautiful thing to see.

I will share more next week about the ways you can help the tornado victims.

Thanks for listening to my heart.

If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter, you already know that I just spent a week celebrating my 20th wedding anniversary in New York City. Sister, I spent years, YEARS, dreaming about taking this trip. Like since I was a teenager and first heard Liza Minnelli sing “New York, New York”. Oh, I could not wait to “wake up in the city that doesn’t sleep”.

I anticipated walking in Central Park, seeing my first Broadway show, eating a hot dog from a street food vendor, riding the subway, walking across the Brooklyn Bridge and seeing the Statue of Liberty with my very own eyes. The weather, for which I had been praying for since December, 2012…and I am not lying…was precisely perfect. And when I would hear a New Yorker share his or her delight in said weather, I smiled and quietly said, “You’re welcome.” For I was, AM convinced that God provided that weather because I was bold enough to ask.

But this post isn’t about my trip to NYC. It could be, but it’s not. It’s really about what I learned while visiting.

You know how when you go on vacation, you often don’t look forward to it’s end? Because that means you go back to household chores, the ministry position you hold and just regular life. And if you don’t enjoy your life, that would be a bad thing. But if you love your life, you don’t mind going home to the things that occupy your time the rest of the year.

While I loved my time in NYC and consider it to be a dream trip of a lifetime for me, I looked forward to returning home to my sons, my church, my friends and my life here in Oklahoma City. And I think that is because I know that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. There was nothing in NYC that made me say, “I wish that was my life.” Instead I found myself saying, “I love my life.” 

My question for you today is this: Do you love your life? 

I know you may be in a hard season right now. Maybe you are struggling to figure out your next move. Maybe you are in a waiting pattern. Maybe you are raising toddlers and you are ready for them to grow up and become more independent. I get those things. They are tedious and tiresome but they are also grooming you to continue along the path God has for you.

Paul said he “learned the secret of being content in any and every situation” (Philippians 4:12). I don’t know to what Paul was referring as his “secret” but I know what it is for me. 

Gratitude is my secret.

When I choose to live a grateful life vs. an entitled life, I am filled with so much joy, peace and contentment that I rarely throw myself a pity party. When I choose to start the day thanking God instead of grumbling over what I don’t have, my outlook is bright. As bright as a sunny day in Central Park.

What I would love to encourage you with today is to learn the secret. For yourself. Figure out what it is that will help you walk in contentment. Every single day. 

We lead people every day…even if it’s our little people. Let’s make sure we are leading from a heart that walks in contentment. When we do, they will follow suit.

Spend some time praying and ask God to reveal to you the secret to contentment. If you already know it, please share with me!

View of Times Square from our restuarant the first night.

Walking toward Central Park the first day!

The new “Freedom Tower” at the World Trade Center.

The Flatiron Building that was considered NYC’s first skyscraper.

We saw the Lion King and Newsies on Broadway!

We went into Brooklyn and walked back into Manhattan over the Brooklyn Bridge.

View of Lower Manhattan from the 86th floor of the Empire State Building.

The Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island were both closed due to Hurricane Sandy. We were able to see them from a cruise in the harbor.

My man with the Manhattan skyline in the background.

The fountain in Central Park.

Dinner and dessert at Serendipity 3 in the Upper East Side.

View of Roosevelt Island via the tram.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art.

A very tired, but very fulfilled Chris and Cindy sitting on the subway after our last dinner out.

Interested in my book, Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken? Click HERE.

Interested in having me speak somewhere? Just email me at cindybealldotcom@gmail.com with your request.

Interested in seeing my speaking schedule? Click HERE.

Interested in watching videos that my husband, Chris, and I have done? Click HERE.

Interested in finding other helpful resources? Click HERE.

Until I have more news to share, please look at the old blog posts I’ve written. I have five years worth! Just scroll on the left side of the page under categories.

And of course, if you want to send me an email sharing your story, please do: cindybealldotcom@gmail.com.

Have a great day and thanks for visiting me!

But the best part about it was the front porch.

Sometime during that year we instigated something called “Tea Time” and many times during each week, we would plant ourselves on some lawn chairs on that porch and sip some sweet tea. If it was in the evening, we would turn on our stranded owl lights that hung every so gently from the ceiling of the porch.

(You think I’m kidding about the lights, don’t you? I was born and raised in Texas and am a borderline Redneck. I assure you, I am not kidding.)

Somewhere along the road, we renamed “Tea Time” to “Porch Time”. Chris and I absolutely love sitting outside on the porch. Back porch, front porch, any porch. We are not picky about our porches. We enjoy a mild climate, but during the colder months, the sitting area off of our bedroom becomes our “porch”. Regardless of the weather, we have a porch.

Nothing is off limits during Porch Time. We talk, remain silent, laugh, cry, share our excitement and our frustrations, pray with and for each other, have fights and apologize. Porch Time is an absolute necessity for us to stay connected in our marriage. Even if we only have 10 minutes on a given day, we go to our porch.

We still like each other after 20 years of marriage and ministry. Our marriage is healthier than ever and we are truly for each other. I don’t believe we would have what we have today without making sure that we have this time together.

Is the connection you have with your spouse healthy? Are you best friends? Do you believe in each other wholeheartedly? Do you share your hearts with one another?

If your answer was yes to these questions, then chances are strong that you are on a great path toward keeping your marriage healthy.

If your answer was no, then you need to find your porch.

Your porch could be a sitting room, your study, any room in your home or even a walk around your neighborhood. Your porch is unique to you and your spouse. Whatever it is, you need it.

I don’t have to tell you that life marriage can be stressful. You already know that. But you can maintain a strong union with your spouse by keeping the lines of communication and the doors of your heart open to one another.

Find your porch.

His wisdom oozes from the pages. Dr. Kimmel is the founder of Family Matters. They develop resources for families and churches to help them handle and confront the issues that most people face today. 

As a pastor’s wife and woman in ministry, I appreciate how Dr. Kimmel helps families understand their role in raising children to know God. Oftentimes, people, even Christians, think it’s the church’s job to do that. While the church is here to assist, they are your kids, my kids and the training is up to us as parents. Thankfully, Dr. Kimmel shares how there can be a partnership. But make no mistake about it, it’s not the church’s job to raise our kids. It’s ours.

 One of the things that jumped out at me in this book is the foundation we need to build for our children before we can ever see them truly fly. It looks at little something like this:

Greatness
(Aim them at true greatness: Humble, grateful, generous, serving) 

Character
(Build character: Faith, integrity, poise, disciplines, endurance, courage) 

Freedoms
(Freedom to be different, vulnerable, candid and to make mistakes) 

Inner Needs
(Security, significance, strength, love, purpose, hope) 

Dr. Kimmel says that inner need #1 is security. He states that we should instill in our children’s hearts a secure love and that we do this by accepting them the way God made them (body, IQ, mannerisms, etc.), by making sure our homes and churches are loving and honoring environments and by being demonstrative to them and showing affection.

I feel that my husband and I have done a great job with this. However, we can’t say that we’ve done enough. Although my teenager would rather me not hug him, I can still provide a level of security with him by accepting him the way he is. My 9-year old, on the other hand, wants my affection. So, the way I parent him is different. He’ll hug me til the day he dies. If I get a hug from my teenager, I will tattoo the date on my arm.

Oh, I’m teasing. I’d put it on my forehead.

I think you will get so much wisdom, advice and even courage from reading this book. You should also check out the other books Dr. Kimmel has written. You can find them here: Books by Dr. Kimmel.

There is also a conference called D6 Family that is held in two different cities this year: Dallas and Louisville. Check it out here: D6 Family Conference.

My little Seth Joseph, or Sether Joe as many affectionately call him. Sometimes he seems older, sometimes he seems younger.

(And I’ve no idea what is coming out of his mouth. For the love.)

I receive so much joy and laughter from this guy. However, he is known for pushing buttons and saying things that I’d rather him not say. But it’s fun to watch him grow up. He’s becoming a little man and one day he’ll be the tallest one in our family. At this point in his life, he’s all legs.

Thank you, Seth, for bringing me laughs. They are truly a gift!

I’ve written over a thousand posts. But lately, I haven’t written much. Honestly, when I turned in my manuscript for Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken in September, 2011, I was ready to stop writing. I felt like I used up all my words. 

That’s was 18 months ago. 

I know writers are supposed to write everyday. I just don’t. I go in spurts. So maybe I’m not a writer. Maybe I’m just someone who writes. And that’s okay.

I think that writing a book and turning in those 60,000 words to my publisher just about took all that was in me. And if I’m being honest, I just haven’t wanted to write that much. I kind of felt like I just didn’t have anything else to say. Like I’ve said everything and if someone asks me about a specific topic, I honestly think, “I’ve already said it.”

Thankfully, that is changing as I am embarking upon a new project. I have that “feeling” again, that “I’m ready to write again” feeling. It came to me last weekend when I was speaking to 2,000 women in Longview, Texas. Hopefully a new book will be published. We’ll see.

So that you can still read some of the stuff I’ve written in the past, here are some links:

Marriage Posts

Motherhood Posts

It’s My Story Posts 

Encouragement Posts

I’ll keep you posted on this project.

Isn’t he something?

We watched his birth video the other day and of course I cried. How can I not? I waited for him for over four years. I longed to hold him in my arms so much that I thought my heart would break in two if someone else, other than me, got pregnant. Finally, on February 26, 1999, he joined our family and was the perfect addition.

And now he’s a teenager who has less years at home than I care to admit. He’s an intelligent young man whose wit is contagious. His musical ability is tremendous. His understanding of technology is above par. His character is strong.

He makes me laugh, smile, cry, get angry and rejoice. He is a gift. 

See what I mean?

A few weeks ago, my husband and I went to Colorado Springs, Colorado, to record an interview for Family Talk Radio with Dr. James Dobson. His son, Ryan, hosted the show and it airs tomorrow – February 15, 2013!

You can listen to it on the radio by finding a station here. You can listen to it on XM radio at 7pm CST on channel 166. Or  you can listen to it at a later date on Dr. Dobson’s website by going here.

I pray you are blessed by our story once again!