Clawts Necronomicon

Return from the grave

noreply@blogger.com (Stevo) — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 06:54:00 +0000

It's been six years since I posted here, and I wanted to start over just for fun. So I deleted all the posts that were grammatical nightmares.

That equals all the posts but five.

One busy new year

noreply@blogger.com (Stevo) — Sat, 27 Jan 2007 02:15:00 +0000

Things are so freaking busy! No new post for 26 days!
My position at work is very nice, keeping me busy away from customers and close to employees.
Everything is just ramping up so fast.
I have to buy a house, get married, go on a honeymoon and continue school.
but anyway lets cut to the chase now.

Nintendo DS, buy one right now. Stand up, get away from your desk and get to your mood of transportation. Navigate to Best Buy or Costco or Target or Shopko and Say " I need to buy at least one DS lite and an ass load of games."
You will be happy.

The DS is becoming my favorite method of gaming right now. I just finished Final Fantasy 3 and started on Hotel Dusk: Room 215.
Hotel Dusk makes me so happy for the future of gaming. Its an interactive novel, that you take the role of wash up cop thats now a drunk selling household goods door to door.
You got a mystery to solve film noir style.

Great graphics, great story, and just plain innovative features make this game a winner.
You hold the DS sideways in the palm of your hand. and use your thumb to click the right shoulder button to advance the text.

I hope to what ever DS gods that rule the universe that we get tons of games like this. This would be the best to experience an H.P. Lovecraft story in the digital form.

Strawberry Pancakes

noreply@blogger.com (Stevo) — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 16:55:00 +0000

Strawberry pancakes!
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/Strawberry+Pancakes/
\As you should know being an observant soilder is Clawt's Army while watching the Strawberry Pancakes video, the town population decreases by one each time the main character shoots a pancake wrangeler. Now you have to ask your self "What happens when the town population gets to zero?" Well dear reader, you should know I have solved this riddle. After 420 loops of the song, the town population was zero and our hero was attacked by a zombie! I have a screen shot for ya.

Worlds coolest sentence.

noreply@blogger.com (Stevo) — Sun, 17 Sep 2006 15:51:00 +0000

I saw this as a featured article on wiki today and had to share it.

Did you know that the sentence
"Buffalo buffalo, Buffalo buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo."

Is a valid, grammatically correct sentence? it means,
[Some] buffalo [from] Buffalo, [who are intimidated by other buffalo from Buffalo], [also themselves] intimidate [other different] buffalo from Buffalo.

Did you also know that you can say
"Badgers badgers badger badger badgers badgers badger"?
This one means
"Badgers annoyed by badgers annoy badgers annoyed by badgers"
No you may not use these sentences a lot, or if you a remotely sane person you will never hear or say them in real life it could come in handy to know this.

English is not the only language that is messed up, out of the foreign tongue my personal favorite is
"Isha na'ala na'ala na'ala na'ala et hadelet bifnei ba'ala".
This little gem is hebrew for
"A respectable woman put on her shoe, locked the door in front of her husband"

Now that is something, a person can use on a day to day basis.

So dear reader on this sunday, take time to read this aricle and use as many of them as you can come monday to piss of your co workers and class mates.

For the full article, clicken de linken! LINK!

Just me and my dad

noreply@blogger.com (Stevo) — Thu, 20 Jul 2006 05:01:00 +0000

I think at some point in everyones life they get struck with a lighting bolt of inspiration that points them at exactly what they like and need to do. Today was that day, only I was hit with such force it would have killed a god. Today at work we were informed that our workload would be literally doubled, without extra pay. Now for every customer we have to fill out two blocks of paper work and contact them twice. It used to be Contact them once, and fill out one block of paper work, all in all we have at least an extra 5 minutes of work per customer that needs to be done with out use taking the five minuted to do it. When you help 20 people a day that adds up to an hour and 40 minutes. When you have an 8 hour shift that you can't do anything but answer the phone... it makes you wonder where this extra time comes from.

I got home and was all pissy and depressed because I spent a ton of time calling houses for rent to only get turned down 12 times. I grabbed a beer and plopped my fat ass in front of my computer. I got an email from my dad that had a little story in it. Ill give you the abridged version.

He was upset that his brother was serving a tour in Vietnam being a fuel truck driver, much to his surprise my dad got drafted. He was drafted and was told to report to San Diego California. He was in southern Idaho at the time, So he drove to San Diego and found a way to be assigned to a unit back in Idaho. Once in Idaho he was put in charge of the five others drafted with him. He was put on a bus and shipped off to Boise Idaho, (two and half hour ride) where he boarded a plane to Oakland California and then another bus ride to Fort Ord. Here he was told he was to become a 'Pole Jockey', not liking this, he enlisted for an eight month school of radar repair in New Jersey. He failed one of the final PT tests for boot camp, the timed mile run, but they passed him anyway. He was shipped back to Idaho, then had to drive back to New Jersey. Once he hit Kansas his 56 chevy blew a timing gear. The only garage he could get to was next to the motel he stayed at. It was a specialty garage that only fixed Fords, so my dad talked the mechanic in to working on his car by helping him do it. Just when he thought he was finished he found out he had to replace some valves as well. My dad worked through the night, only to have to finish the drive that morning. He finished top of his class for mortar tracking radar repair and was stationed in Hawaii. There he was trained on air defense radar and finished his two year tour.

Now my dad has MS and leukemia but is still fighting as hard as ever. When I finished reading his story I put on my gi and headed down to the Tae kwon do class I was going to skip. I returned the beer to the fridge, unopened.

I realized that at 27, I have wasted a lot of my life for nothing... I have a new goal for my self, to be half the man my father is...

The County Fair

noreply@blogger.com (Stevo) — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 03:55:00 +0000

The County Fair

Living in a small town you would think that the fair would be the picturesque shin-dig that you see in the movies and read about in books, but that is not the case in southern Idaho. Now to top it off, what if you take all the bad traits of the county fair and leave out all the good stuff, you have the carnival we had this weekend. That means scary people that make you think there was a prison break recently and you don’t get to eat 'Elephant ears'( the big ass scones with yummy powered sugar)

I am not the greatest money manager around, but I work hard for my meager pickings and enjoy relishing in the rewards of hard work. My lovely girlfriend asked me if I wanted to accompany her to a carnival with her brother and his kids. This being a great group of people to be with sounded fun, and the delicious temptation of an elephant ear scone had whet my appetite. The carnival was a small one, feature about eight rides, ten or so games and two food stands.

Much to my dismay, the food stands were terrifyingly filthy and had a lackluster variety of greasy insta-snacks. They did not even have french frys and this is Idaho for crying out loud! So I settled for a Snow cone and got my lovely Sue a caramel apple, being the nice guy that I am I got a total of four snow cones so that we all could have one and that took the 15 bucks I had down to six. (yes five of us went, but I do math worse then I spell and write). Now here is the where one of the major problems of the carnival came into play, it was set up on tarmac. Lovely black asphalt was underfoot, absorbing and radiating the suns deadly rays, on a cloudless and very hot summer day.

And thus began my favorite part of the fair, now before I begin I am all for any service that offers jobs to an individual. Its a proven fact that more unemployment means more crime, so if you do not have a job, get to jail you fucking lunatic!(joking.. just wanted to see if you were still reading...) The carnies... walking from point A to point in the fair means you get bombarded with horrid sales pitches from toothless, covered in grease, with howls of gibberish that range from 'every one is a winner' to ' pick a prize any prize' is muffled only by the blasting of metallica on horriblely airbrushed rides. Some of these games are actually fun, and its always rewarding to win a prize for yourself or a loved one, but I can’t emphasize more, save the money and buy a quality toy at Target. In case you did not notice the only way you get a bigger prize, is to pay more money. You can knock over milk bottles, break old beer bottles (presumably consumed by the proprietor of the rides that are strapping your children onto an ill maintained carsoul) and pop balloons till the cows come home, get old, or die, and you will not get a better prize until you plop down the extra cash.

Point in Case (Case in Point?) Last year , at the county fair that served good food, I decided to win Sue a stuffed animal at the dart popping balloon booth. Three darts for 5 dollars and a few minutes latter, I had managed to pop all three balloons. Now here was the big moment do I upgrade the prize? Or settle for a crappy asbestos filled mystery animal that could not have even been conceived by Darwin. I hasited and the ravenous carnie stuck her claws in deep, she handed me a dart and let me go again. This was the moment of truth, is Sue going to walk home with a gigantic non licensed Scooby doo, or something that even a 3 year old girl would not enjoy... I decided to take the risks, I was actually taught how to throw hand grenades at one point in my life,(terrifying huh?) so I took aim with my left hand and delivered a mighty throw with the right, scoring a hit! My confidence grew as well as did my boredom, I wanted to go home, I wanted my lame prize, and I just wanted some peace and quiet! having been trapped in the routing before, I know that if I gave give her another five bucks was the only way to get an 'Upgraded prize' so I decided to be an ass back and get my revenge. I took her offer for an additional free dart, this time I upped the stakes. I said 'what if I pick the color of the balloon I pop? Will I get a better prize?' and this time the carnie paused. I picked a color, took aim and pop, success! Still no better prize, So I took the third free through and called the shot and yet another success, I knew my luck would soon run out. And it did, fourth throw was the wrong color, but still a pop and I missed the fifth free shot. So I hit 7 out of 8, and still ended up an ambiguously strange bear/rabbit beast thing.

So what is the moral of this aimless rant? If you got to the fair, stick with the food, skip the rides, skip the games and save your self a headache. The reason why the carnies are toothless and greasy is the work it takes to maintain the already broken rides anyway. I mean seriously, if you kids were going on a field trip would your trust your children’s lives to these people? Well that’s going a bit extreme… Over all I felt bad for going with my friends on this adventure as I ended being somewhat of a party pooper and I hoped I did not spoil their fun.