Cleaning Up the Clutter

I Want My Mommy

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Sun, 17 Mar 2013 21:33:00 +0000

Sometimes, no matter how old you are, you just want your mom.

The older you get, the more you realize life is all about change. When the changes are drastic, you want to crawl back to your mom and, well, be mothered. Even when you're a mother yourself, it's nice to have your own mother tell you everything is going to be okay and mean it.

I realize I'm fortunate to still have my mom. I no longer have my dad and haven't for some time. I'm truly blessed to have a wonderful mom who not only turned the other cheek when I was a rotten teenager, but has, through the years, remained a non-judgmental source of support for me.

The boys and I are making the 5-hour drive up north in a few weeks to see her. I can't wait.

I haven't been the best daughter. I haven't visited as much as I should have. I'm vowing to change this year. There are no more excuses. I'm planning on heading north frequently this spring, summer and fall.

I've been homesick for quite some time, though I haven't been indulging in it like I was last fall. I'm anxious to get up there again, sleep in my mom's house and show the boys around my hometown. Somehow, life seems simpler in the tiny village of Hermon. I know it's not really. But, I can pretend while I'm there, right?

Run Run Run

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Fri, 08 Mar 2013 15:53:00 +0000

I'm newly in love with running. To all of you that are not runners, I apologize for this post. I know how irritating it is to read about running when you are not into it. I've been there. I swore for years that I would never and could never be a runner.

I honestly don't know how it happened. Maybe it was all the Facebook posts of my friends and relatives who are runners that slowly worked on my subconscious. Maybe it was seeing my son and his soccer team do corner sprints at practice last fall and remembering how good it felt to be that fit when I was 13. Maybe I just needed something to get my mind off all the crap that's been weighing heavily on me these days.

However I got here, I laced up my running sneakers in September and am loving it so much I signed up for a half marathon. I've got until Labor Day to train enough to make it possible. The cool thing is, I really think I can do it. I know I can do it. The other cool thing is, I talked my sister into doing it with me!

I've got a training schedule posted on my fridge. I'm on week 3. Tomorrow's goal is 6 miles.

I'm not following it exactly, but I'm trying to hit the Saturday mileage each week. So far, so good.

I don't remember the website where I found this handy little chart, otherwise I'd include the link. I'm actually running a bit more during the week than the chart recommends, but I'm definitely including rest days, even when I don't want to! I know they're important. And, of course, with three boys, they can't be helped anyway. Sometimes the scheduling just doesn't work out to include running time!

Today, we have a snow day. I could run anytime, but I'm waiting until it warms up a bit this afternoon so the roads will be clearer.

Spring is coming soon, right? The only thing that could possibly make this better is not having to run on slippery roads wearing winter gear!

A Week of Stress

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 19:52:00 +0000

First, an update. The job interview went well. I felt like the interviewer and I clicked. It was comfortable chatting with her. She said she thought I'd be a good fit in their office and would get a call back for the second round of interviews. So, my fingers are crossed. Of course, I'm sending out another resume today. I don't like to count my chickens before they're hatched.

That brings me to the rest of the week. It's been incredibly stressful for various reasons. Not only that, but it's been a busy one, which means I haven't had time to do the things I normally do to help me de-stress, like run or go for a long walk.

I was all set to run on Wednesday, but the kids ended up having a two-hour delay due to a lovely freezing rain/snow mix we got overnight. A two-hour delay meant I couldn't take my little guy to preschool. That and the ice meant I couldn't run. So, that was that.

By yesterday, I was jumping out of my skin to try to get some exercise and I still had no time to run. I can't take my five-year-old out in the jogging stroller because the weather is too rotten and I don't like to run like that anyway. I seem to have a lot of excuses!

To top it all off, when I'm stressed, I can't eat. I really can't. I try, but it gets hard to choke down food, no matter what it is. I can't even drown my sorrows in wine, which I suppose is a good thing. I like to have a glass of wine to relax, when I'm happy, but I can't fathom drinking any when I'm stressed. It doesn't appeal to me. I can barely choke down water. I suppose I'm thankful I'm not the kind of person who gobbles down gallons of ice cream in times of stress.

So, by Wednesday, I had a heck of a stomachache. I had to force some food down. It helped. I've been trying to eat regular meals since then and it's helped quite a bit.

Today, I finally got to go running for the first time all week! It felt great. It was a short run, but it did so much good. I felt strong and was able to put some things in perspective. I can't wait to go again tomorrow!

So, how do you deal with stress? Exercise? Ice Cream? Sleep? Hard liquor? Denial?

Job Interview Next Week!

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 22:14:00 +0000

I started a post about feeling disorganized lately, which really was going to be blog filler. I was hoping it would come together into something coherent and witty, if I was lucky. Honestly, I wasn't really feeling it. I'm not that disorganized anyway. I'm certainly the most organized person in this house, but maybe that's not saying much.

Then, I got some exciting news that's the perfect reason to scrap the lackluster garbage.

I have a job interview next week!

How exciting is that?

I feel like I just got asked to the prom!

The position is a part-time human resources assistant. I've always wanted to work in HR, even back in the day when I had a full-time office job. I secretly coveted moving down to the HR department. Part-time is perfect for me right now, what with the kids' schedules. It'd be a great way for me to get re-introduced to the intricacies of child care, work clothes, and rush-hour traffic.

Okay, the child care thing is a new one for me. But, my kids aren't babies, so I'm sure it will work out just fine, especially with a part-time schedule.

Rush-hour traffic, I can handle. I've done it before.

That brings me to clothes. Oh my God! What should I wear to the interview? Skirt? Nice black, dress pants? Do I need a jacket over a blouse? Do women still wear pantyhose? (Please say no.) This is suddenly making me nervous!

What about the interview itself? It's been a long time since I've had one. I need your tips. And a self-confidence boost! What should I say? What should I not say?

Fingers crossed that I get the job, but I'm really happy just to get asked to interview. That means my resume doesn't suck.

I guess I can't brag about my organizational skills until I'm working outside of the home. When I've successfully done that for a few weeks, I'll be sure to write that blog post. Hopefully it'll be more interesting than what I started today.

Valentine's Day Was So Last Month

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 21:27:00 +0000

When you write, whether it's for websites or print magazines, you're not writing for the moment. You need to be ahead of the curve, or rather, the calendar. It makes sense, if you think about it. Websites and magazines want their articles to be timely. That means they have to be submitted well ahead of the actual holidays.

Last month, I was thinking romantic thoughts so I could write Valentine's Day articles for Holidays Central. This month, as we bear down on actual Valentine's Day, I've moved on to St. Patrick's Day.

Part of my writing responsibilities involve getting crafty with my kids, taking pictures of our projects, and writing up how-to articles on what we did. Today's craft was a bit of a miss for my five year old.

Here's my rainbow and pot of gold project. This is what it's supposed to look like:

Rainbow with Pot of Gold

Here's his:

Rainbow with Elmer's Glue

Luckily, my crafting abilities are such that most things I make look like they were done by a 7 or 8-year-old kid anyway. I think this St. Paddy's day craft still qualifies for the Kids and Crafts category, though my little guy may have been a bit too little to pull it off. Or, perhaps he was more interested in eating the cereal than gluing it to paper. Fruit Loops are a rare treat in this house.

Speaking of writing for upcoming seasons, a craft article I sold to Highlight's for Children almost THREE years ago is going to print this summer! Look for it in the July issue! If you don't get Highlight's for Children, you can usually find it at your local library.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Please Vote for Her!

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Sat, 09 Feb 2013 03:14:00 +0000

She's a blogger and a friend of a friend of my sisters. Did you follow that?

Her name is Tracy Winslow and she blogs at Momiacal. Her blog is funny, entertaining, and relatable!

She's in the running at the Top 25 Funny Mom blogs of 2013 at the Circle of Moms. She's holding steady at #23 right now and needs your help to pull her up to the top! I know we can do it! Let's pull her up!

Vote early, vote often!

(Marianne, why aren't you on this list?)

How Do You Celebrate Valentine's Day?

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 20:50:00 +0000

Is Valentine's Day a big holiday in your house?

It's not too much, here. I love the kids' school celebrations. My 5-year-old (that's right, FIVE), is excited for his first-ever V-day celebration at preschool. He can't wait to exchange corny cards and partake of the Valentine's Day candy haul that seems to be the norm these days. He's been waiting all his life for this.

Otherwise, Valentine's Day is pretty low key at our house, which seems funny since I spent the last several days of January feverishly writing Valentine's Day articles for Holidays Central.

Photo from Habitation of Justice. (Check out their other anti-Valentine's Day photos - so funny!)

Here's my favorite:

The Anti-Valentine's Day Party

I'm not down on Valentine's Day, but I had a lot of fun writing this article. Truthfully, I'm kind of a fan of Cupid these days, so I hope he doesn't take offense. It was all in good fun.

Here I Go Again

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 15:52:00 +0000

I'm always so grateful to participate in a BlogHer book review, especially when the book is fun and entertaining. Here I Go Again by Jen Lancaster is that and more.

I had no idea what to expect when I read the first chapter. Honestly, the main character, Lissy, was unlikable. She was an anti-hero if there ever was one. I couldn't relate to her on any level, except maybe her high school musical tastes.

As the book went on, I found myself rooting for her. She was just a girl trying to make her way in the world, like all of us. Lissy grew and changed for the better. By the end, I wanted all her dreams to come true.

The best part - Here I Go Again was downright funny. It's the rare book that truly makes me laugh. I'm not sure what my family thought I was doing as I sat there giggling, but I got a few strange looks from my boys. The thing is, they wouldn't be able to understand the humor if they tried. The author writes for her target audience perfectly, and, it seems, as an early 40-something member of Gen X, I fall squarely in range.

Thanks to BlogHer for sending this book my way! I really needed the laughs!

For more discussion about Here I Go Again, visit the BlogHer book club.

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.

Bad Habits Die Hard

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 22:22:00 +0000

It started when my kids were little. I was thrilled when they could take their own jackets off and didn't care when they unceremoniously threw them on the floor. Heck, I'm still in this phase with my four year old. He's taking his own coat off! It's one less thing I have to do. I don't care where it ends up. Besides, he's too short to reach the hangers in the hall closet.

Yet, with my older kids, there never seemed to be a moment where they became responsible for their own jackets. They walk in the door and throw their jackets on the floor. The bad habit was set. For the record, at 8 and 13, they are both tall enough to reach the hangers.

Sadly, my husband is right there with them. That's embarrassing to admit. Though, I will say he doesn't throw his in the middle of the floor. He tucks it away in an unobtrusive place - the newspaper basket. The problem is, it's still on the floor. Our coats don't go there. They go in the closet. How are the boys supposed to learn to hang their coats up when their male roll model can't be bothered?

A couple of weeks ago, I made it my mission to break this bad habit and a few other ones that my crew of wild boys have.

In all honesty, I had a little melt down after a busy day. When we walked in the door after a family outing, I promptly stood in front of the closet and hung up my coat. The four other people that live in this house whipped theirs off and promptly threw them on the floor. Ugh! I somewhat loudly announced that anyone that's throwing their coat on the floor can forget about getting dinner. If you want to eat, you need to hang your coat up. Sounds fair, right?

Since then, I've been persistently reminding the boys to hang their coats up. And, you know what? They're doing it. Even the little guy is handing me his coat instead of throwing it on the floor.

But, you know what else? My husband still is NOT doing it. He's not putting his jacket in the newspaper basket anymore. He's hanging it off the foosball table in our downstairs family room!

I'm at a loss.

Book Review: The Willpower Instinct

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 19:29:00 +0000

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.

The irony of receiving a book about willpower right before the holidays wasn't lost on me. I intended to let my guard down a little. I mean, how could I say no to all the chocolate, cookies and other treats whispering at me to eat them?

Come to mama...Photo from kakisky at Morguefile.

You can say that I started reading The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. for the BlogHer book club as a skeptic. The timing was bad. I had no interest in willpower.

I rolled my eyes as I read the introduction. Willpower has always felt like a herculean effort. It's something I've had to psych myself up for. Right before the holidays is not the time to become reacquainted with this old enemy. I didn't want to pass willpower on the street, much less be in the same room with it. That's the kind of thing I always thought about after the new year.

But, then, something happened as I plodded along in McGonigal's book. I realized her advice wasn't about forcing a steely will on myself. It was about forgiving myself.

The truth is, I made it through the holidays without indulging much beyond the norm. Anytime I failed to resist the lure of holiday treats, I forgave myself. Is there some kind of magic between the pages of this book? I'm not sure, but here's an example:

Almond bark is, hands down, my favorite holiday treat. It's made by my husband's coworker, Pat. She sends two boxes home for us every year. Usually, both boxes are gone long before the stockings are stuffed. Yet, this year, we still have one box left. If you'd seen me inhaling almond bark in years past, you'd know this is a miracle.The difference: I wasn't beating myself up about it when I did indulge.

McGonigal's other tips rang true, as well. She claims willpower is contagious. If my experience with running is any indication, I'd say she's right. I think I "caught" the running bug from all my running pals, both near and far, because of their enthusiasm whenever they posted about it on Facebook. It seems I know a lot of runners and part of me wanted to join their club, even if I had always declared myself a non-runner.

By the end of the book, I was a fan. McGonigal had won me over.

Now I'm thinking about other willpower challenges I can tackle. Is this the time to defeat my sugar addiction? Or, maybe I could say good-bye to gluten once and for all. Or, perhaps I can use some willpower techniques on my kids. Can I get them to treat each other better? Reduce their screen time?

What are your willpower struggles?

Hop over to the BlogHer Book Club for more content on The Willpower Instinct.

Resume Writing 101

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 22:40:00 +0000

I love to write, but I do not love to write resumes. Why is it so hard?

Luckily, I have an old, dated copy of my resume so I didn't have to recreate it from the ground up. There's a tip for you. Always save a copy of your resume. You don't want to have to search for dates and addresses of your former employers. That's a daunting task.

I can use all the career advice I can get. Photo from Click at Morguefile.

A resume puts it all out there. I have some regrets in the career area and, lets just say, my resume shows it all. Most of my regrets involve gaps. This is the age-old problem of a woman who chose to be a stay-at-home mom for a number of years who knows it's time to go back to work outside of the home. You know what that equals on the resume? A black hole. You can't very well write the dates of your children's births on there, though that would explain a lot to prospective employers. It would look something like this:

Had Three Children (1999, 2004, 2008)

All-natural child birth all 3 times (Painful!)
Breastfed for probably too long
Potty trained (and cleaned up a LOT!)
Dealt with colic, sibling rivalry, and school issues

Unfortunately, prospective employers don't care that you declined epidurals and kept your cool while your children threw up on you in the middle of the night.

Thankfully, I've done a considerable amount of freelance writing in the last 5-6 years. Though it hasn't been full time by any means, it does at least look like I've done something besides change diapers, make dinner, and drive my kids to soccer games.

Resumes have changed since I last wrote one. It was the thing back in the day to put your "objective" on the top. I always hated that. You needed to change it for each job application. Every job was a bit different, so you needed to make each objective sound like it was your life-long passion to work there, based on the ad you read in the newspaper. On one resume, your objective was to work in a fast-paced office environment with lots of customer contact. On another, it was to fully utilize your MS Office skills while being able to juggle a full workload. Thankfully, that kind of fakery seems to be a thing of the past.

The 'just the facts and only the facts' style seems to be the current resume approach. I like it. I'm going with it. I figure any flowery words about my career aspirations and my amazing abilities at organizing and typing can best be spelled out in a cover letter. Can I just say, Thank God I was forced to take a typing class in high school. That was the single best class I ever took. I wouldn't be the person I am today without Mr. Cline and his typing class. Seriously. And, we learned on REAL typewriters, too. If we made a mistake, there was no copying and pasting our way out of it.

Are you savvy with resume writing? What tips do you have for me?

12 Things to Do in 2012: Update

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Thu, 27 Dec 2012 23:18:00 +0000

Last January I wrote a list of resolutions called 12 Things to Do in 2012. Like all people that make resolutions, I pretty much forgot about the list within weeks, if not days, of writing it.

The new year is looming, if you haven't noticed, and resolutions are on my mind again. Before I make my new list, I thought I'd revisit my old one to either pat myself on the back for the things I did or be publicly humiliated for the things I didn't do.

1. Take a photography class. Done! I took a fantastic class at the local community college last spring, which catapulted an interest in amateur photography. I even bought a fancy new camera and have taken some photos I rather like. As an unexpected bonus, I've sold a few, along with articles I've written, to one of my on-line writing venues.

2. Be more industrious around the house. Hmm...I did some home improvement projects. I've started and almost finished painting the downstairs family room. We had the ceiling fixed and a piece of wall that had holes in it fixed. I learned how to glaze windows. I'd say I did no worse and no better than I had the year before.

3. Win the clutter war in the garage once and for all! Major fail. I don't want to talk about it.

4. Write more. I definitely wrote more in 2012 than I have in previous years. I didn't submit more to print magazines. I have a confidence problem in that regard. But, I was a very busy on-line writer. And, I've written an essay I rather like that's ready to send out into the big bad world of magazine publishing. Courage, please!

5. Help organize a community garden at my church. Done! It doesn't matter that only four of us participated. It was the most successful garden I've ever had and I'm looking forward to doing it again in 2013.

6. Hike several times with my family. We went once. And, it wasn't even the whole family. My husband wasn't there. My mother-in-law was, though, so it wasn't a total bust. My four-year-old needed a piggy back ride almost the whole way. After that, I wasn't too eager to lace up my hiking boots again. Maybe next year.

7. Take the family on a "bigger" vacation. Done! When I wrote my resolutions, I was thinking Colonial Williamsburg in Virginia. We ended up shooting for the moon. We drove to Florida for a well-planned excursion that we don't regret. I'd do it again. But, not in 2013.

8. Make a quilt. It didn't happen. I'm going to pretend I never wrote that.

9. Make a shower curtain. Done! I even made matching window curtains for the bathroom. Yay me!

10. Go to at least one Hula Fit class to see what it's like. Also, didn't happen. I did, however, follow them on Facebook. But, I don't think that counts. I'm not really all that interested in hula hooping anymore. It was fun when my little guy was entertained by it. He couldn't care less these days. Anyway, I've taken up jogging and that's worth at least twice as many exercise points.

11. Get a new laptop. Done! I don't miss typing on my old Netbook one bit!

12. Go to a writing or blogging conference somewhere. This didn't happen, either. I did, however, take two writing classes at the local community college. I think that was more what I needed, anyway.

Not a bad track record as far as resolutions go. How did you do with your 2012 resolutions?

Don't Forget the Batteries

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 02:58:00 +0000

What one item doesn't typically make it onto Christmas lists but is sorely missed on Christmas morning if it's forgotten?

If you guessed batteries, you're right.

How often have you had a disappointed child who can't play with a new toy because there are no working batteries in the house? First-time parents usually make that mistake once. Then, every year thereafter, batteries end up on the top of the holiday shopping list - underlined, highlighted and circled.

Luckily, P&G's new e-store sells value packs of batteries that will help meet your battery needs.

They have the Duracell AA value pack, which contains 28 batteries - more than enough to keep your children's toys going until the lights, beeping and other obnoxious noises wear on your nerves in 50 different ways. (Between you and me, having strong, long-lived batteries in your kids toys can be a mixed blessing. My husband and I have been known to tell the kids a certain toy is "broken" as soon as the batteries wear out. Unfortunately, this can take a long time with some batteries!)

It makes sense to have a hefty supply of AA batteries in the house, but don't forget the Duracell AAA value pack, which also contains 28 batteries. At some point, your child will end up with an odd toy that calls for a smaller battery. As any parent knows, it's best to have both types of batteries on hand. Nobody wants a Christmas morning meltdown.

In a perfect world, every gift would come with the required batteries. But, in our world, we have to do the prep work, 'cause we know Grandma or Aunt Margaret is going to show up with an awesome toy that needs a few AAs to make it work. It pays to have the most common battery sizes on hand. No one wants to run to the local convenience store and pay a king's ransom for a small pack of old batteries.

P&G's e-store is a great way to stock up. Not only do you get a deal, but you get the following perks:

15% off on a first-time order from a new customer, using promo code: A9Z-MN5-KY3-ISA
Free Shipping on orders over $25
Free Samples with every order.

While you're on the P&G site, don't forget to check out their other, exciting offers from a variety of your favorite P&G brands like Braun, Downy, Pampers and Gillete.

It's Damn Hilly Around Here

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Mon, 10 Dec 2012 23:01:00 +0000

I swore I'd never be a runner. I've long walked for exercise, but whenever I tried to take the leap to running, it always hurt way too much. Several years ago, I officially put it in the "never" column and moved on.

But, the alignment of the stars must have shifted or something because I've been running since mid-September and I have no intention of stopping. It doesn't hurt. Actually, it feels pretty amazing.

What was I doing wrong all those years when I tried running? I have no idea. But, it's clicking for me now.

Here are a few tidbits I've learned since first lacing up my sneakers almost three months ago:

1. If you're envious of Facebook updates with mileage counts and phrases like "felt great today" and "awesome run!" then you need to put some miles on your own sneakers.

2. There is no substitute for a good sport's bra.

3. Good music can make the difference between making it up that hill or not.

4. When faced with a long, steep hill, the best thing to do is look down and focus on the music. No matter what, do not look ahead to the end of the hill.

5. Running by yourself is much easier than running while pushing a 45-pound boy in a jogging stroller. First, the extra weight makes the hills super hard. Second, you can't listen to music to distract yourself from the above mentioned hills because he wants to chit chat. (Don't get me wrong, I love his chatter and we've had some pretty cute conversations while jogging in the last few months. But, I think I prefer to commune with nature and Train while running.)

6. Running while pushing a 45-pound boy in a jogging stroller is better than not running at all.

7. It's easiest to schedule runs for the days that said 45-pound boy is in preschool.

8. Under no circumstances are you to forget to put a band-aid on your blister.

9. You really need to remember to Google "blisters" to find out what the real runners do to help.

10. Take your mom's advice and wear a brightly colored jacket. It'll make her feel better and you'll be more visible than you are in your grey sweatshirt.

11. Make sure your iPod has enough of a charge to make it through your run.

12. Just because you made it through your whole long route (3.4 miles), including that nasty hill at the end, doesn't mean you should try to do it again the next day.

13. Sometimes, it's easier to choose the hill you know over the one you don't. It doesn't mean it's the right choice, but it's the easy one.

14. Don't drink too much water before you run. You want to be hydrated, but you don't want to be wondering if it's okay to break into your friend's house and use her bathroom while she's out.

15. Have one day a week where you push yourself a little bit further than all the other days.

16. No matter how eager you are to run every day, don't forget rest days. They're important to your well being and will help prevent injury.

17. Running is surprisingly social. I'm not exactly sure how it works out that way, especially since you typically run by yourself, but as soon as others know you're running, it's the ultimate ice breaker. It's led to many conversations with people about local routes, mileage and tips. Runners seem to have a real excitement when someone else joins their ranks.

18. It's damn hilly around here.

19. Follow the rules of the road. Pedestrians belong on the left-hand side, facing traffic. I've always known this, but the point was driven home when I was driving home from dropping my son off at school the other day. A teenage girl was running down the yellow line! Thankfully, I saw her in time, but she scared me half to death.

20. You won't regret going for a run, but you might regret not going for a run.

Thanks to the Marathon Runner website for all the tips and advice. I'm no where near ready to train for a half marathon yet, but maybe in 2013.

Are you a runner?

Too Much Christmas Too Early

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Wed, 05 Dec 2012 20:59:00 +0000

I'm not a Scrooge. Really.

But, I am not ready to deck the halls and listen to Christmas carols yet. It still feels too early.

One reason I've spent so much time and energy to declutter, which I think I've done a pretty good job of over the years, is to simplify my life. Jumping into Christmas weeks too early seems counter productive.

I realize we are in the season of Advent. But, I don't think Advent has to include all the bells and whistles of Christmas. Does it? What do you think?

I know I can't go there in my own home least I feel overwhelmed and well, uncomfortable, with the amount of stuff in my way when there's still weeks to go to the big day.

Here are a few pre-Christmas things I'm not embracing this year (or any year for most of them).

1. Early Christmas carols. I avoid the all-Christmas carol radio station like the plague at this point in the year. The one in our area has been playing carols since well before Thanksgiving. My favorite radio station has started adding the occasional carol to their line up. I'm not ready. I change the station. Maybe next week I'll happily sing along. But, not today.

2. Early decorations. There are families around here who already have their Christmas trees up. I know it's not terribly early for that, but if I put it up this early, it's dusty, dilapidated and disheveled by Christmas Day. We're getting it this weekend, which I'm feeling is still a tad early. But, I think the kids will have my head if I don't do it soon.

3. Elf on the Shelf. I will never embrace this creepy little dude that seems to have become a new tradition. Not only does he give me nightmares, but he seems like a lot of work. Every day, the parents are supposed to pose him in some kind of new, strange location in the house. That means I'd probably wake up in the middle of the night in a panic because I forgot to move the elf. You know the dads of America aren't doing it, right? It's just another thing to drive moms crazy!

Way too creepy and high maintenance for me!

4. Over-the-top anticipation from the kids that lasts weeks. I have one child prone to anxiety. Holiday excitement is almost more than he can handle. If things stay low key, he's good. The minute we start decking the halls, his anxiety climbs. Why? I have no idea. But, it tanks any holiday cheer I might have.

5. Christmas cards. I wrote and sent Christmas cards for years. I dreaded it every year. I stressed about it. I did all the work myself. This is yet another thing that us women have burdened ourselves with. Last year, I stopped. It was very freeing. I'm going to continue my tradition of not sending holiday cards. I do, however, wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. That should cover it, right?

6. Egg nog. Have you looked at the fat, calorie and sugar content on a carton of egg nog? It's a guaranteed 5 pound weight gain if I start drinking it this early.

What about you? What can you live without in the weeks and days leading up to Christmas?

Writing and Thankfulness

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Tue, 04 Dec 2012 21:18:00 +0000

I haven't felt much like writing lately. I don't know why, but that's a pretty unusual state for me. Not too many days go by without me wanting to write something, either here or elsewhere with the hopes of getting it published. I usually at least write something in my journal. At the very least, I make lists of things I want to write about.

I've tried to sit down and type out a few things only to discover the well was as dry as a bone. I was getting nothing but dust swirling around in an empty bucket. I had to scrape together what I could to do my monthly articles for Holidays Central.

It got to the point that I was starting to get worried about it on some level. I normally always want to write, so what the heck?! I love to write. Being indifferent to it hurts in a weird way. Maybe because it's the way I get all the junk that floats around in my head out. When I don't do it, I feel a out of sorts.

Finally, finally, the mood struck today. I don't know how, but it did.

Only problem is, it's always hard to come up with ideas after a break. It's like once the faucet has been off for a while, it takes the water a bit of time to start running out again. First it comes as a few drops here and there, then a trickle, then a gush. Right now, I'm at the few drops stage. So bear with me while I figure out what to write about here in the next few days and weeks.

In the meantime, I thought I'd do a list of what I'm thankful for. I missed out on that in the month of November when everyone else was doing it. But, it's always a good time to be thankful, right?

I'm thankful for:

1. Clorox handy wipes. I have three boys with bad aim. Enough said.
2. The heated seats in our car. Whoever invented these deserves a medal. Seriously, I hope they're paying that guy or gal what they're worth!
3. My eight-year-old son reading willingly and happily on his own. Thank you J.K. Rowling.
4. Jogging. I never ever thought I'd be a runner. I've tried over the years, but it never stuck. However, I've been doing it since September and even ran in an informal, local 5k on Thanksgiving Day. I'm really loving it.
5. Fresh air. I don't think I could ever run or walk on a treadmill for exercise. I need good, old-fashioned, fresh air swooshing into my lungs.
6. My iPod. I've been listening to a ton of music lately. How did I ever live without an iPod before?
7. Old friends. You all know who you are. :)
8. The fact that my little guy is potty trained. I know it's been over a year, but he was a late bloomer in this regard and I was pretty worn out from cleaning up after him. This is a huge one.
9. My 13-year-old kicking butt in his first wrestling match of the season. He went out on the mat with this calm, cool confidence he has (he doesn't get it from me) and pinned the guy in 25 seconds.
10. My kids and the kids I babysit getting along after school. After the fight incident a couple of months ago, this is a relief. They've been great lately!

What are you thankful for?

Transitions

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 20:13:00 +0000

For six weeks in the months of October and November I took two writing classes at our local community college. They were continuing ed classes, not designed for the young college student, but rather designed for the aspiring writer in the real world. The instructor was the same for both and she was nothing short of fantastic.

I'm eager to sign up for her spring writing class.

I have my eye on the future these days. My youngest is rapidly approaching age 5 and has been eager to board the school bus with his brothers for a couple of years now. One day, when he was 3, he donned his backpack, stepped outside and promptly stood at the bottom of the driveway. He was sure he'd figured out how to get the bus to stop for him. Never mind that it was mid-day and he wasn't old enough. He wanted to go and there he was, at the end of the driveway with a backpack. Wasn't that the secret code? Come September, I'll probably have trouble holding him back long enough to snap the all-important first-day-of-school photo.

We're ready to move on to the next phase. Photo from Morguefile.

The thing is, I know how he feels. While I've loved being a stay-at-home mom, I've been eager to get back out into the working world for the last several years.

I hate not contributing to the family income. I truly do. My husband has never had an issue with it. The way he looks at it, we'd have to pay most or more in childcare than any income I made if I worked outside of the home. On top of that, we'd be running ourselves ragged trying to figure out how to manage the children around two work schedules.

Writing at home has been my sanity saver for the past several years. It's helped me contribute financially and also kept my mind active beyond the world of kid stuff, house cleaning and meal prep.

I'm so ready to do something outside of the home, though. I realize that with two children who will still need after-school care and an older child who's very active in after-school activities, thus needing rides home from school outside of the normal bus run, I still won't have a lot of flexibility. If I could pick my dream job, it'd be part time, with the option to expand to full time in a few years.

Anyway, that's why I've been taking writing classes. I have a B.A. in Communications, but I've been out of the official work force for many years. I'm nervous about dusting off my resume. It's going to look a little thin. Maybe the writing classes will fill it out a little, in addition to improving my skills.

So, who's been there and done that? Have you taken a length of time off from work outside the home? How was your return to the workforce? How do you balance all of life's demands: kids, work, home, etc.? What was your best strategy in getting employers to view you as a good candidate for jobs?

That Old Christmas Shopping Spirit

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 20:14:00 +0000

With three kids, my Christmas shopping should be well under way and it's decidedly not. I'm just not feeling it this year.

I'm not sure why. I've never been one to deck the halls until after the first of December. I've long refused to turn the car radio dial to the Christmas radio station before Thanksgiving. But, usually, I'm just about done shopping by the time Turkey Day rolls around.

I know it's early to be panicking yet. And, I'm not panicking. I've got lots of time. But, when I look at everything that needs to be done between now and December 25th, I feel a little overwhelmed. There's shopping, wrapping, decorating, baking and all of the holiday obligations that pop up here and there.

Christmas is a big production when you have kids, even if you keep it simple. And, I really, really try to keep it simple.

Where do you stand with your Christmas prep? Are you done? Or are you just now starting to think about it?

How to Nurture Your Homesickness

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 19:45:00 +0000

Maybe you had to leave in order to really miss a place; maybe you had to travel to figure out how beloved your starting point was. ~ Jodi Picoult, Handle With Care

I've been toying with homesickness lately. Or, rather, it's been toying with me. I don't know how it happens, but sometimes the feeling creeps up behind me and slowly wraps around me like a blanket on a cold winter night. At other times, it lands on my head like the fabled NY State mountain lion pouncing out of the Adirondack forest, wrestling me to the ground, forcing me to stop and reflect on things past and things I might wish were present.

Why does a memory, an on-line chat with an old friend or some feeling that's been floating unresolved in my heart for years have me thinking about my hometown until I crave it like chocolate?

I grew up in Hermon, New York, a town that's not small, it's minuscule. According to the website City Data, the population is currently at a scant 422. I'm sure my mom knows them all. Heck, I haven't lived there for over 20 years and I probably still know at least half of them. Not much changes year to year in Hermon.

Yes, the town really is named "Hermon".

For some reason, when I get in these homesickness funks, I like to torture myself by keeping it going for as long as possible. I don't consciously nurture it, but I find myself dwelling on things that keep my mind about 250 miles from where I'm currently living.

So, how can you get yourself in this type of funk, too? You know you want to! Here are my step by step directions for nurturing your homesickness:

Look at pictures, both old and new. Nothing fans the flames of homesickness like old photos. New photos don't hurt, either. I usually take a bunch of photos when I visit my mom in Hermon every summer.
Imagine what it would be like to live there now. In all honesty, I'm not sure I could go back to live in Hermon. It's pretty far from a lot of conveniences I've gotten used to in the last 20 years. Still, there's a simplicity about life in the North Country that I know I romanticize when I'm in a homesickness funk.
Chat with old friends on line. This is actually what set off this particular bout of homesickness for me. I knew a lot of good people up there and have a lot of good memories. I miss those times when we were all young and didn't have adult responsibilities. Being young and naive was a joy we didn't appreciate at the time. Reconnecting with old friends through Facebook makes me remember how I used to be - how we all used to be - in Hermon back in the day.

The truth is, sometimes I'm sad I left. But, even as a child, I always knew I would. Teens in small towns make big plans for "getting out of here someday". It was a hot topic amongst me and my closest friends. We didn't quite know what we had, right there in Hermon.

When I go back to visit, I can't wait for that moment when I drive down out of the mountains and look at the green fields and trees that surround Hermon in the summertime. I only ever seem to make it up there once a year. It's not nearly often enough. Maybe the way to put this homesickness to rest is to go home.

The road to Hermon (or maybe this is the road out of Hermon, I don't remember which direction I was standing in when I took this.)

A typical Hermon scene.

I want to ride my bike on the back roads. I want to hang out with old friends at the Skunk's Nest, the neighborhood bar. I want to take my kids to the school playground. I want to breath the fresh air, which, if I recall, smells like woodsmoke this time of year.

For now, though, it'll have to wait. All those adult responsibilities keep me here to wrestle with mountain lions in this neck of the woods.

The First Snowfall

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 19:16:00 +0000

I've come to realize there are two types of people in the world. Those who love the first snowfall and those who hate it. You all know where you stand.

Photo from pdalgarno at Morguefile.

Depending on age, those who love it say things like:

"Yay! I want to play in it right now!"

"I'm going to build the biggest snowman!"

"Snow ball fight!"

"It's so peaceful and beautiful."

"Snow Day! Yay!"

Us lovers of the first snow agree there's nothing quite like it. We know it's what brought Frosty to life. We know there's magic in it. Some of us like to play in it, some like to take the day off from work to go skiing and some of us just like to admire the peaceful blanket that settles on the earth, covering up the leaves that haven't been raked and the outdoor toys that haven't been put away.

Those who hate it say things like:

"Crap, I haven't put my snow tires on yet."

"I better reschedule my dentist appointment. The roads will be a mess."

"I hate snow!"

"Snow Day! Ugh!"

These are the folks who would like to curl up in a ball and hibernate until spring, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Of course, by April, most of us belong to the snow-haters group. Still, we've at least given snow a chance to win our hearts for another season. And, for a time, it does.

Boys in the House: A Changing Perspective

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Tue, 06 Nov 2012 18:44:00 +0000

My shoulders slump as I walk into my four-year-old son's room. Something else is broken. Sigh.

We're up to six broken things in here: the front of a dresser drawer, the bracket that holds the curtain rod, the hinge on the door, one of the closet doors, the toy box lid and the wall.

He's not doing it on purpose. It happens because he's four and still trying to figure out the laws of gravity and physics. Luckily, with the exception of the door hinge and the wall, most of the things just need a little wood glue or some better screws. I fixed the holes in the wall by moving the dresser in front of them, so that just leaves the broken door hinge.

"I'm sorry, mommy," he says before he takes off toward the living room, his blonde curls bobbing like the most wild of Tasmanian devils.

I follow him into the living room and find him standing on the coffee table having a light saber duel with Darth Maul, complete with sound effects. "Vshoo Ch Ch Ch." Good thing Darth Maul isn't really here or he'd be in trouble. Nobody beats down a Sith like a four-year-old boy.

"You have to help me clean this up," I say, hoping I can teach him a little responsibility. "If you break something, whether it's a mistake or not, you have to try to fix it." At this point, there's not too much we can do. I have him help me find the screws that popped out of the toy box lid. They're stripped, so it'll take a trip to True Value for new ones.

When you have kids, your home is like the Myth Busters' lab. Things will be broken.

The toy box just needs some new screws and it'll be fine.

Things will be painted.

Chalkboard paint on the bedroom door is a good idea. Having a 7-year-old boy do it, not so much.

Things will be used for science experiments.

Dust Pan Catapult

You can only hope they're won't be any explosions.

Maybe little girls are gentler on their family home. Perhaps they like to play quietly in ways that don't destroy property. Or, maybe they prefer decorating their bedrooms to swinging from the curtains.

Least I sound sexist, I will say that my boys like to decorate their bedrooms, too.

To some, a Lego Dementor in a baggie is wall art.

I have to say that my current four year old seems more rambunctious than my other two boys were at that age. When I walk into his bedroom, I see a place of rest: a bed, a bookcase, curtains. When he walks in, he's sees a gymnasium: a trampoline, a climbing wall, a rope swing. It's all a matter of perspective, really.

Maybe if I changed my perspective and actually replaced the typical bedroom trappings with a trampoline, a climbing wall and a rope swing, things wouldn't get broken so often. It's unconventional, but it could save us a fortune in small home repairs.

Hurricane Sandy Update

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Tue, 30 Oct 2012 12:09:00 +0000

We were very lucky in the Hudson Valley last night. Sandy had us on the edge of our seats with some strong winds and a few rain showers, but the bulk of her efforts were focused elsewhere.

We didn't get a single drop of water in our basement. After Irene, we were cleaning and de-odorizing for a few days because of basement flooding.

The wind was a little gusty throughout the night. I was a bit nervous for awhile and considered camping out in the finished basement, away from any threat of falling trees. But, just when I thought we ought to make the move, the winds died down and everything was fine.

Our basement is dry. Our trees remain upright. Our power never even flickered. The kids are in school today and Halloween will go on as usual.

All in all, it was pretty tame for us.

My thoughts and prayers are with the folks downstate and in NYC, NJ, CT and MA that sustained damage and are dealing with flood waters and power outages and with the people who were injured or lost their lives in the storm.

Sandy's on Her Way

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Sun, 28 Oct 2012 18:16:00 +0000

Since when did NY State become a hurricane magnet? This makes two years in a row that we're faced with the sea's fury. Last year, it was Irene, who left us a soggy mess in the upstate regions. This year, it's Sandy. She's being described as a "frankenstorm" that's even bigger and more temperamental than Irene was. One local weatherman said they haven't seen anything like her in the records since 1880.

Suddenly, I'm feeling like I better find the flashlights.

Photo courtesy of wax115 at Morguefile.

Governor Cuomo has already declared a state of emergency in NY. This is just a way to make sure emergency personal will be ready to spring into action when the time comes. Today, he said that mass transit in NYC will likely be closed tomorrow, bridges and tunnels will be closed on a case by case basis and parts of NYC may be evacuated.

We're about 2.5 hours north of NYC and our rainfall isn't predicted to be as bad as it was with Irene. However, we're expected to get near-hurricane strength winds starting sometime tomorrow and worsening in the overnight hours. They're telling us to expect power outages.

No matter what happens, it sounds like it's going to be a bumpy ride. I better get my act together and do a little storm preparation. We need flashlights, water, gas in the vehicles, food and maybe some higher ground to move to. See you after the storm!

Too Much Testosterone

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Fri, 26 Oct 2012 17:46:00 +0000

Sometimes, there's too much testosterone around these parts.

If you follow my blog, you'll know I have three boys. If you read my blog with a fine-toothed comb, you'll know I also babysit three boys. If you live on my street, you'll know there are ten boys that live in this little corner of our development, not counting the boys that are here in the after school hours. That's a lot of testosterone in one small geographic location.

Yesterday, one of my boys and one of the boys I babysit got in a fist fight. Really it was more of a pushing, hair pulling and biting fight. It seems they're not quite old enough to know the rules of fair fighting.

The children have taken to splitting into two groups, which is never a good sign, though there are so many boys around in the after school hours, it's probably natural. Things quickly became us vs. them, with one group spying on the other. If you've ever been around kids in the 4-11 age range, you know spying is a hot button issue. You thought the political climate was tough? You should see the kids navigate the spying issue. Yikes. I'd vote for Romney just to make it end.

I swear some of these kids are destined to be in the CIA when they grow up. Teach them a foreign language and get them some gadgets because they've got crazy espionage skills.

In the meantime, they're no longer allowed to practice said skills in my yard. If anyone is caught spying, it's now a capital offense resulting in a time out for any boy under my care and a one way ticket home for the day for any boy not under my care.

I guess with all that testosterone in the neighborhood, it's bound to boil over once in a while. But, I think I might need a shot of whiskey the next time it does.

Is It Over Yet? Politics is Insulting

noreply@blogger.com (Barb) — Wed, 24 Oct 2012 21:24:00 +0000

Sigh. I can't wait until it's over. I'm really, really tired of the political atmosphere. I think I'm going to take a Facebook hiatus until about a week after the election. People are getting too angry and saying things that are utterly hurtful. I don't have the stomach for it.

Photo courtesy of jppi at Morguefile.

I'll continue to update my blog page on Facebook because I know it would greatly impact my page views here if I didn't update with links there, but, other than that, I'm done for awhile.

What really gets me the most is when certain people accuse the "other side" of being immoral and pile on the insults like they were getting paid for each zinger.

I've never felt the need to trim my Facebook friends list before. Not four years ago through the previous election and not any time since. But, today, I find myself contemplating just that. I think it's time for a little Facebook decluttering. I don't oppose people having different political views. I oppose people being cruel to other human beings.

Even Jesus can't look at Facebook before the election. Photo courtesy of taliesin at Morguefile.

If you're still in the thick of the political discussion on Facebook or elsewhere here are a few friendly tips you may want to keep in mind:

If you're going to quote the bible in your political rant, remember Jesus didn't call people morons.
Most people realize writing in all caps is the Internet equivalent of shouting, so they don't do it anymore. Insults are the same thing. They're a kind of shouting desperate people do when they have no logical argument to put forth.
If it raises your hackles to think of someone else talking to your kids in the same way you are about to talk to a fellow human being, then don't do it. If it helps, picture your kids on the receiving end of the rant you want to write.
Understand that when you resort to insults, you've lost the debate. It may make you feel powerful, but, in truth, it's the weakest form of argument.
Try to remember there are fellow human beings on the other side of those wi-fi signals.
If your Facebook page erupts in a debate based on something you posted, take exception to your friends calling your other friends things like "worthless" or "idiotic". Friends don't turn a blind eye to people insulting their friends, no matter what their politics.
Don't be surprised when you lose Facebook friends if you break any of the above rules.

“My father always used to say, "Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument." Good sense does not always lie with the loudest shouters, nor can we say that a large, unruly crowd is always the best arbiter of what is right.” ~ Desmond Tutu