BEAUTI LOUNGE

Develop mental toughness by starting your day with an act of courage

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 21:15:00 +0000

In my previous post I shared a video where a man encouraged his viewers to begin each day an act of courage. His suggestion on how to do it was to take cold showers. One reason why he suggested cold showers is so we can overcome the need to instinctively want to seek the comfort of a warm shower first thing in the morning. In fact, we normally tend to seek comfort in much of what we do throughout the day.

I've been taking cold showers for the past week or so. The act of choosing step into frigid water in the morning is one of the most difficult things you'll ever have to do. Your first instinct is to flee the very moment the water hits you. If you don't remain steadfast in your decision to follow through in your cold shower, you will quickly revert to pacifying yourself with warm waters.

The great thing about cold showers is that the longer you stand under the cold water, the less painful the experience. Your body increases blood flow to help raise the body temperature. Soon you find the the excruciating feeling of standing in cold water no longer holds the same value. All of the sudden you are able to handle the experience and what follows is worth its weight in gold. There is nothing like coming to the realization that you have overcome the voices in your head that tell you to run quickly into the arms of warm soothing water. A rush of excitement will fill your senses as you find that you've conquered the demon that is cold water.

Mental toughness is the ability to push through even when you do not feel like it. Its knowing that the discomfort you are feeling is only a representation of fear and not worthy of your attention. Mental toughness is not a trait that one can develop overnight, it comes from making choices that normally don't come easy for us. Not only is mental toughness difficult to develop, its even harder to maintain. That is why making a choice to do something that challenges your mind every day is crucial.

For me, developing mental toughness comes in the form of a cold shower. For you mental toughness can be getting up at 5:00 am every morning. You might decide to workout every morning to toughen your mind. Whatever it is, I encourage you to take on your act of courage in the morning before your day begins. When you do so, you are sending a powerful message to the mind that you are willing and fully able to take on challenges without so much as even a flinch. You've already conquered your most difficult task of the day and everything else is just a bunch of details. Decide this moment what actions you will commit to doing daily as a way of challenging yourself. By adding mental toughness to the ever growing list of your character traits, you're allowing yourself to take on the world with a whole new set beliefs about what you can and cannot do.

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Be faithful in the little and you'll be faithful in the much

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 10:49:00 +0000

In the book of Luke, Jesus makes a profound statement that I believe holds the key to true success in the area of personal development. His words are often repeated in my mind over and over whenever I challenge myself to reaching higher levels. He essentially says that if we are faithfull in the little things, then we will ultimately become faithful in the bigger things.

Most of us work on our development by creating these grandiose goals and working diligently to become faithful in taking big actions to reach those goals. Most often, we fall short of reaching our goals simply because we weren't capable of sustaing such massive change long term. If you are the kind of person who is constantly chasing big goals only to experience disappointment, may I suggest to you an alternative, small commitments.

In all honesty, if you don't give a dime to charitable organizations now, you likely won't donate money if you received a hefty pay increase. If you don't include anything green in your diet today, don't count on losing those extra 10 lbs by eating only salads for the next couple of months. Drastic changes are rarely sustainable. Why? Because if you couldn't do the simple things, such as parking farther away from the store so you'll walk more, then you will not have what it takes to wake up at 5:30 and work out every day.

Forget about creating any more goals for yourself that you know you won't be able to maintain. Instead, I want you to make a small commitment to yourself. The smaller the commitment, the better. The only catch is that the commitment must benefit your development. The commitment is not a goal to reach, it is a promise to yourself that you will do something. The commitment must be to take some sort of small action daily.

Examples of commitments to yourself could include:

* Eating one apple each day
* Flossing each day
* 15 minutes of meditation each day
* Putting your loose change into a jar each day
* 15 minutes of stretching each day.
* Walking up stairs instead of using the elevator at the office
* Journaling each day
* Calling/emailing one person each day
* Turning off the television 1 hour earlier each day.
* Spend 30 minutes studying/writing each day.

The list is endless. You don't even have to pick a daily action that directly correlates with your goals. My daily action was to floss daily. Flossing daily will not help me reach any development goals. My daily flossing helps me to establish and keep a commitment to myself. Its that simple.

Why pick a small daily action? Because smaller actions "easier" to do consistently. Small daily actions are your way of setting up a habit for yourself. Just say you'll do something every day and do it that day! In my personal experiment with taking small daily action, I was amazed at what I experienced. I'll go more into detail in my next post. For now, I want to you pick one daily action to commit to and stick with it!

Are you playing to win or are you playing not to lose?

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:37:00 +0000

I've heard the term "play to win' on several occasions. It wasn't until I was introduced to the phrase "playing not to lose" that I truly understood what playing to win really meant.

One of the major differences between the two phrases lies in the attitude of the person. The attitude of someone playing to win varies greatly from the person playing not to lose. Playing to win requires the person to make offensive moves and take proactive, even risky, actions. Ever seen a physical fight between two people? Do you remember a fight when you could clearly identify the person who is clearly trying to win the fight? The one who's goal it is to win throws many more blows than the other individual. That person may even try some other tactics to win the fight like teasing or taunting to get in the head of the other person. Contrast those actions with that of the person playing not to lose. That person only has one objective, protect himself.

If protecting means curling up in a ball and refusing to throw any blows, then so be it. Not losing is that person's main objective. This type of reasoning is inherently flawed for one reason, the person playing not to lose ultimately ends up losing.

Let's put this type of behavior in perspective. Someone who chooses not to say anything during a staff meeting for fear of sounding stupid (playing not to lose), creates a persona that he/she does not have anything of value to add to the discussion (that person ends up losing). The person who obsessively warns her child of the dangers of taking risks(playing not to lose), ends up with an unstable adult child who is unable and unwilling to take care of himself (losing). The examples are endless. The main point I want you to absorb is the potential disaster that can occur when one takes action, or fails to take action, for fear of losing and not with the intent to win.

So how do you position yourself so that you are playing to win?

Plan-One major reason why we don't take calculated risk is because we haven't planned in advance. Lack of planning creates fear. Fear leads to discomfort. Discomfort breeds inaction. Inaction equals loss. When you think ahead, you can strategize some great moves you can make when the time is right. The person who prepars for the staff meeting can put together a list questions or talking points ahead of time. When she proactively shares her ideas with the team, she is playing to win.

Stretch-Once you've planned your offensive attack, you still have to contend with the fear that will creep up once you face your opposition. Playing to win means throwing blows even if you have punches coming at you. In fact, that is the worse time to double over in fear. If you do, you will have to work through the negative feelings which develop as a result of your lack of effort.

Your subconscious knows when you are playing not to lose instead of playing to win. I'm sure you can recount numerous occasions when you had feelings of guilt or regret for not giving your all or doing your best. It's a miserable feeling that takes a while to get over. On the other hand, have you ever given your all into some thing valuable to you that you didn't win? You may feel crummy right after the loss but as time passes, you relive the details in pride knowing that you gave everything you could. Hence, there are little to no regrets attached to the memory.

Another key point to remember is that every action you take translates into either you playing to win or you playing not to lose. If you pick out your clothes for tomorrow at the very last moment, you are playing not to lose. Just the fact that you decided to wear clothing keeps you from losing. But if you were to pick out your attire the night before, properly iron the clothes, polish your shoes, and coordinate your accessories, you are playing to win. You are saying to the world "I made a conscious effort to look fantastic. I am taking my appearance seriously, I am playing to win!"

I want you to carefully scrutinize your efforts, all of your efforts, from this day forward. Your main objective should always be to play to win. By winning I don't mean defeating the opponent, I mean playing the best game you can possibly play. Your goal should be to give maximum effort to everything you do. This is the mark of someone who plays to win.

I'll leave you with a thought.

"Winning isn't everything, but if you don't play to win, you get nothing."

Build the Ark

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Sat, 24 May 2008 10:53:00 +0000

My last post detailed my interpretation of Thomas Edison's great quote, "every thing comes to him who hustles while he waits."

I just wanted to share an example of how I used this mentality to land a new job. One where I received a 25% pay increase. One where I will have the ability to work from home. One where I will receive wonderful perks like a company car. So how did I land such a great opportunity you ask?

For one thing I did not seek the role, my phone rang one day and it was someone I knew who recommended that I apply for the position. When I heard of all the great benefits, I had no choice but to update my resume and send it out.

As soon as I officially applied for the job, I spent the next week or so desperately waiting by the phone for the call. After becoming fed up with the anxiety I was experiencing by just passively waiting, a thought came in my head. I thought to myself, "when Noah was told the world would be flooded by rain, he did not sit around and look for signs of rain, he immediately started to build the ark.
I knew that I had to build my ark while waiting for the manifestations of the rain. So I asked myself, "what could I do to prepare for this new role?" The answer was obvious as I looked around my home office. Aside from the PC and desk, it appeared more like a storage room than an office. I immediately went to work on throwing out stuff I didn't need, moving out items that had no business in that room, and buying some accessories to make it look more appropriate for work. All this was in preparation for my new job.

The next day I got the call.....

After my first meeting with my soon to be boss, she hinted that I visit some of the various locations of the company I would work for to see if I notice some areas of opportunity with regards to operations. I took that advice to the extreme and proceeded to visit as many different locations as I could. I spoke to employees and managers to obtain even more valuable information. By the time we met again, I regaled her with all of the accounts of my store visits. Needless to say, she was impressed by the amount stores I visited and depth of the feedback I was able to provide her.

Next came the final interview. I was flown to corporate headquarters to meet a plethora of directors and VPs. After Googling each of their names for any info I was able to obtain from the web, I felt confident enough to speak with each of the five individuals about the direction of the organization. I arrived with a fierce determination to leave the absolute best impression on each individual as I possibly could. I wanted them to feel the enthusiasm I had for this role. I wanted them to believe, as much as I did, that I was the one to take on this fantastic opportunity.

Some of the other actions I took to prepare for the interview was:
*I watched a copy of the Secret for the millionth time.
*I edited a copy of the interview agenda they sent me to include my name, the job title and the name of the company in one line at the very top of the page.
*I practiced my "I'm gonna miss you guys" speech that I would give to my current co-workers.
* I visualized myself in the new role.
*I did everything else in my power to take on the emotions of someone who already had received the job.

After the final interviews were completed, I could honestly say to myself that day could not have gone any better. The hiring team told me that all the candidates would hear something in four business days. They called back at 9:30 am on the second business day and offered me the position. Needless to say, I was extremely pleased to accept the offer.

Would I have gotten the offer if I hadn't gone above and beyond to make sure that I landed the job? I can't honestly say that I would have. Someone else could have easily out shined me if I didn't proceed with an unwavering determination to get that job. I spent every possible moment thinking of various ways to stand out from the crowd. My mind was very attentive to ideas and insights that I could use to my benefit. As I opened my mind in expectation for great ideas, great ideas came to me.

Think about something that you really want to realize. Could it be possible to incorporate such intense positive action that you will most certainly achieve it?
How can you begin to build your ark while in expectation of the rain?

Giving away what you really need

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 12:36:00 +0000

My last post was my perspective on some profound lyrics I heard from a song. The lyrics went something like this:

"Sometimes we hold on to the things we don't want"
"Sometimes we give away what we really need"

Giving to others is an act that we tend to regard highly. But I do not believe the songwriter was describing the type of giving that involved physical possessions. I suspect that he was talking about things we need much more than our physical possessions.

*We give away our power when we allow someone's words to affect our behavior.
*We give away our future when we speak negatively about our current circumstances.
*We give away our potential when we allow someone else's opinion to hold us back.
*We give away our true nature when we suppress the little voice within us.

Giving is an admirable act but we need to be aware of how easily we can fall into the unfortunate circumstance of giving away more than we bargained for. What you need to remember is that you have complete control over what you chose to hold on to or to give away. Keep in mind that choice is a very powerful thing. As soon as you are able to accept this statement as true, you can begin the liberating act of taking back the things that you really need. Once you have taken them back, make sure you hold on to them for dear life.

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Holding on to the things that we don't want

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 19:56:00 +0000

I heard these words in a lyric the other day and I had to stop and think about how true those words were to me. My first thought was to immediately dismiss the phrase as something that did not make much sense. But the more I thought about it, the more I began to realize that we hold on to the what we do not want all the time. I thought of some examples of things we do not want such as:

* We do not want to carry around extra weight
* We do not want to be known as a shy person
* We do not want to struggle financially
* We do not want to be in a destructive relationship
* We do not want to be unhappy

The list goes on an on. I am sure that you can easily add to this list the things that you do not want in your life, yet you are holding on to them and shamelessly keeping them around. You may ask yourself, "why would I want to hold on to unhappiness if I do not want to be unhappy?" I actually do not know the answer to this question. You may have an answer for it, you may not. If after pondering the question you find yourself without a valid answer that satisfies you, then you have the responsibility to do what you must in order to let go of what you no longer want.

If you had an old smelly couch sitting in your living room that you no longer wanted, and you were given the opportunity to get rid of the old thing and get a modern couch and more fits your decor, would you hold on to the old couch? Would you give up the opportunity of having what you really wanted for holding on to something that was old and useless? I hope your answer would be no.

My point is that if you want to lose weight, every time you chose an option that feeds your overweight nature you are holding on to what you do not want. If you do not want to be a shy person, every opportunity to become more social that you turn down is your way of holding on to what you do not want. If you no longer want to struggle financially, every time you spend frivolously or take on consumer debt you are keeping your current situation the way it is today. You get my point.

So now is your time to reflect. Look at every area of your life that you say you want to change. As long as your choices consist of doing (or not doing) the same things over and over again then what you are really saying is "I hate the fact that....but I will be doing the same things that cause it to be so!" So what you really need to do is take inventory of what old smelly couches are just sitting around messing up your physical or emotional ambiance. Find that ragged old thing and chuck it! Make sure that everything you do brings into your life exactly what it is you want and (finally) let go of the rest.

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Increasing your level of focus Part 3-Make up your Mind

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 22:57:00 +0000

So now that you have consciously observed the activities of your mind and distanced yourself from the need to be consumed by your thoughts, you should be ready for the next step in developing focus. You now must take on the task of putting your mind's energies into specific actions which will require and intense level of focus. If you complete the activities without first learning to control the random thoughts you experience throughout the day, you will only become frustrated. By completing the actions suggested in part 1 and 2 of this series, you removed the clutter that fills the mind. Once you have successfully cleaned out the clutter, your next step will be to instill within your mind the instructions that direct your mind to think on a level of focus and intensity.

One activity which you should implement in your focus increasing diet is meditation. I suggest that you set aside time in your day to sit by yourself with a quiet mind. Think of this action as exercise for the mind. Exercise for the body involves putting it in motion. Exercise for the mind involves keeping it still. Do not try to solve a problem during mediation, do not try to plan the future during that time. Your "quite mind" time should be dedicated to just being still and focusing intently on your breathing. At first you will listen for your breath, then you will listen to your breath, then you will seek to feel your breath as it travels throughout your body and out of you. The reason why listening to your breath will increase your focus is because you breathe constantly without your conscious mind realizing it. Just the act of monitoring your breath requires you to turn your mind's direction to something that is simple and routine. The longer you are able to maintain your focus on your breath, the longer you will be able to maintain your focus on any action at hand. Please be aware that you will need to make this action a daily routine if you wish to receive any long term results. The more you complete this action the easier it will become for you.

Once, and only after, you have developed the discipline of quieting the mind through consistent meditation, you will then be ready to begin incorporating visualization into your quiet time. The reason why you should not begin visualizing before you can control attention on your breathing is to avoid the daunting task of holding unto an image with a mind not used to maintaining focus for more than a few moments.

The actions mentioned above are tools which will prepare you to become a person of focus. Your mind will no longer waiver back and forth with aimlessly causing chaos and uncertainty. Your mind will now become a sharp tool that can be used effectively to do what you purpose.

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Increasing your level of focus Part 2-Quieting Your Mind

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 12:12:00 +0000

Mental focus is crucial to living a life of achievement. Focus is what will allow you to continue moving forward until you reach the goals you have established for yourself. If you are able to successfully increase your focus, you will experience less resistance to accomplishing both routine and complex tasks. The less resistance you experience, the more easily you will be able to reach your desired destination. For example, let us say that you have a goal of writing a book. The idea pops into your mind and you become excited about the possibility of having a book published. You have the idea and give yourself a generous timeline to complete the work. You tell your friends and receive accolades for going after your dreams. A month or two passes and you have barely completed the second chapter. Every time you sit down to write the novel, you are distracted by a pressing thought that will not allow you to continue. You remember that you have to pay a bill, or make a call, or search for something unrelated on the Internet. Soon enough, you abandon the project all together and you become disappointed with yourself for not being able to reach your goal.

How many of us have experienced a situation similar to what I have just described. In the beginning of our transformation, we have every intention of realizing our goal. Then something happens and we start to allow our focus to become diluted by our thoughts. Our mind is the reason why our focus becomes diverted. Our mind tells us other things are more important and should be attended to. Our mind lets us believe that we will not produce the results we want so we may as well stop trying. Our mind places within us doubts about our ability to reach the level of accomplishment that we desire. The more we listen to our thoughts, the more distracted we become and we then are more likely to succumb to the fickle nature of the mind.

In part one of this series, I recommended that you begin to become aware of your thoughts by observing them. By observing your thoughts, I mean that you will listen to them as if you not attached to your thoughts. Act as if you are someone who is overhearing a conversation without any emotional attachment to what is being said. Once you are able to objectively observe your thoughts, you will then be able to identify the destructive capabilities of your mind. Soon you can begin the next phase of increasing your mental focus. The next phase involves taking conscious action to quiet your random thoughts by not allowing them to direct your behavior. By this I mean that you will place your focus solely on the matter at hand. Whatever activity you participate in, allow yourself to become fully immersed in it. Enjoy the experience of simple activities, even routine ones, by eliminating destructive mind chatter. When we allow our minds to rattle off thought after thought as we complete our activities, we are experiencing the moment. Most often, we complete our work, and play, with preoccupied minds that take us away from the subject at hand. Instead of placing our full dedication and focus on what we are doing, we are entertaining thoughts about something that happened in the past, or what we think may happen in the future. Our focus is then lost. Because we allow the cycle to continue, we do require intense focus, we find it difficult to meet this requirement for even a relatively short period of time. What you must do to begin the work of increasing your focus is to control the randomness and frequency of your thoughts.

Action Plan:
This week, make conscious and direct efforts to be as present as possible in everything you do. Strive to work, eat, play, and live without allowing your mind to participate in endless chatter. If a thought pops into your mind which takes away from the moment at hand, realize it and return back to placing your focus on what you are doing in the present. This is a difficult task to complete at the beginning so you must remain steadfast in your efforts. The more you continue to create this habit, the easier this practice will become for you.

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Increasing your level of focus. Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 12:02:00 +0000

The most overwhelming obstacle, I believe, to realizing our intentions lies in the lack of focus we are able to dedicate to our goals, circumstances, and desires. Everyday we are demanded to react to an innumerable amount of activities and distractions. Worst yet, we have within us an admirable opponent working diligently to keep us in a constant state of confusion and disarray. Each one of us can easily vocalize our strongest desires. Along with that, we also are equally able to list reasons of why our ability to realize these desires is out of our reach.

The reasons why we consistently fall short of realizing our intentions lay heavily on the amount of focus we are able to dedicate to obtaining what we want. Mental focus will enable you to dedicate 100% of your attention to your goal. The level of focus you are able dedicate to every task you undertake will dictate your level of influence over the outcome of your actions. An increased level of focus will allow you to complete simple tasks, such as reading a book, without the burden of having to tame constant distracting thoughts. Your ability to direct your complete focus and attention to the subject at hand is the key to your success. Those who have achieved what they desired in life had the ability to produce consistent action with the same level of mental focus in the early on in their venture as they had later.

Step 1
The first step necessary in increasing your mental focus is to first assess your current state. You begin to assess your current state by becoming more aware of the chaotic nature of your mind. The frequency and randomness of your thoughts should be observed very closely. Random thoughts are what take you from one area of focus to another. How many times have you interrupted a thought by asking yourself “how did I get there?” You then begin to recall every random thought that entered your mind until you realize how that final notion formulated within your mind. Incidences such as these demonstrate the power of our mind. Much more so, they demonstrate our need to manage our mental activity. Our minds operate much like a wild animal that must be tamed, domesticated, and used for productive purposes. If we invest the energy needed to increase our level of focus, we will surely be rewarded with a strong powerful clear mind that can be directed to fully accomplish what we set it to accomplish.

Your task is simply to listen for your thoughts, take notice of how random the are. Take note of how they seek to distract you from the task at hand. The more you are able to observe your thoughts, the more you will realize how they work against you. This is all you need to do for now. This action will open your consciousness to the importance being aware of your mind’s activities. Once you are aware of the behaviors of your mind, you have begun the process of increasing your level of focus.

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A simple technique on how to clearly visualize what you want

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 17:06:00 +0000

We all should know by now the importance to taking time out to clearly envision what you wish to experience. If you are like most people, you may have difficulty with this exercise because of the daunting task of quieting your mind. In the past, I would work unsuccessfully to create a clear image. The image would appear for a few seconds before my mind began to impose its own pictures in my head. A minute or two later, I realize that my train of thought had taken me somewhere that I did not want to go. Other times I have a hard time even formulating the image I want to create. I understood how clear the image had to be, otherwise, my mind would not accept the image as a potential reality and my actions would not change as a result.

Knowing how crucial effective visualization is to realizing my intentions, I decided to implement a very simple and very effective technique that enabled me to overcome my obstacles when visualizing. The first order of business when one visualizes is to find a time of day and a location where you are likely to be disturbed. Once you are there, find a comfortable sitting area. I do not recommend lying down unless you are absolutely certain that you are not in danger of falling asleep. Now you are ready to close your eyes, and begin visualizing. Once an image develops in your mind, no matter how clear it is, begin to describe it aloud. As you detail your image pretend as if you are explaining the image to a friend. Use vivid words. Describe the images and the experience. Do not forget to include your emotions and how you feel about what you are experiencing. If you do not experience any excitement when you visualize, you could be either visualizing something that you do not really want, or you are not using enough detail to describe your vision.

Practice this every day until you have no difficulty formulating your image. If you are effective in how you describe and see your intentions, you should have trouble discerning between reality and what you experience in your vision. It should feel like a dream you have that feels real until you wake up. Your mind will begin to believe the image as reality. Once your mind believes, your actions will follow. Having what you want will not longer seem like a distant fantasy but more like a reality that you are already accustomed to experiencing. The fear that once kept you from moving forward will lose its potency as you work towards realizing what you desire most.

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Increase your reults 100% by answering these two questions

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 11:33:00 +0000

With every goal, or intention, you want to realize, there are certain reasons why they have not yet become a reality for you. One thing you can do to begin the process of re-designing an area of your life is to examine. This examination is so crucial that you must be certain to make it as effective as possible. I hope to make this examination possible and simple for you by providing you two questions which you must ask of yourself. These questions are not rhetorical in nature and require very specific responses from you. Your answers to these questions must be well thought out and complete. Your response are your key to reaching the next step in your quest for improvement.

The questions you will focus on are as follows:

Ask yourself:
What three, most effective, actions am I taking that are moving me quickly to my intention?

Your responses to this question must not incorporate every single action you take to bring you closer to your goal. Your responses to this question must only detail the most effective actions for your thus far. Effective means that you can clearly see the effects. Effective actions directly impact your results. Effective actions create your results. Find the effective actions and make them even more effective. Work on them diligently and closely monitor your results. Your results are your only source of truth.

Ask yourself:
What are three actions that I am taking which are hindering me from realizing my intention?

Most everyone has within them a side of them which works to hinder progress at all costs. For some this hindrance is more prominent than in others. The more powerful your hindrances, the less likely you are to achieve your desires. In your examination, look deeply into your actions to uncover and eliminate those actions. Your self-defeating actions work only to prolong your quest to reach your goals. If you were to successfully remove them, your progress would be ten-fold.

Use these two questions as your tools in achieving what you purpose. If you focus on taking the most effective actions, while working just as diligently to remove your most destructive behaviors, you leave nothing but powerful actions that directly influence your results. Include consistency into the formula and you will find that there is almost nothing that can stand in the way of manifesting your ideal outcome.

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Five actions you can take to gain the respect of others

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 15:39:00 +0000

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like no one noticed you? In conversations with others, do you feel like your voice gets lost in a crowd of people?
One thing I can not stand is feeling like I am invisible to someone. Even worse, is being acknowledged as someone who is not deserving of respect. If your goal is to increase the level of respect others have for you, clear specific actions must be taken. Here are some examples of steps you can take, right away, to gain the respect your deserve.

Be a presence
As soon as someone walks into a room, you can easily assess their level of presence. If an individual creates a strong presence from the moment they enter an environment, we immediately react subconsciously to the non-verbal message the person is sending. People naturally react messages they receive from others. A great example of this is a child who trips, falls, and looks around the room for the reaction of mommy and daddy. If the parents over react to the fall, the child responds accordingly by affirming her parent's concerns about the mishap. If, on the other hand, the parents calmly tell the child that she will be just fine because the fall was not a catastrophic event, the child is much more calm. I've even seen children laugh when they stumbled because of the amused reaction of onlookers. In the same way, other people are looking for our signals to dictate how they will react to us. If we display body language that says "I am unsure of myself", then people will immediately pick up on the signals and respond accordingly. On the other hand, if your body language says, "I am important and I know what I want," you will automatically create a diffrent perception of yourself right away.

Use your voice
Your voice is a powerful tool in helping you to gain the respect of those around you. When you communicate, you should be mindful to use these techniques that automatically impact how others perceive you:

*Control your speed-When you speak at a rapid pace, you are saying to others, "what I am saying is not important enough for me to clearly enunciate each word." If you speak too quickly, people will try to pick up on every word, become frustrated, and settle with trying to comprehend the gist of what you are trying to say. That is not what you want to happen. Instead, slow down slightly when you speak. When you do, you are requiring others to listen intently for the next word that comes out of your mouth.

*Project your voice-Even worse then speaking too quickly is speaking in such a low voice that others are constantly asking you to repeat yourself. You do not want to be that person. You want to be the person who says something once and is understood completely. You want your voice to carry your message to every person in the room. This may take some practice so you can naturally project your voice without sounding like you are yelling at the top of your lungs. The key to projecting without yelling is to take in large breaths before speaking and using the released air to help you carry your message.

*Speak up-Imagine a room full of people in active conversation discussing a topic of interest. Everyone chimes in with their point of view, popular or unpopular. Then there is you, standing there nodding and smiling but never saying a word. When the conversation is over, no one even remembers you being there. This is precisely the reason that you must involve your opinion in conversations whenever possible. Be mindful of the level of openness involved in the discussion. You do no want to simply barge into a private conversation, but you most certainly do not want to leave an open discussion session without contributing something to it. If you are not accustomed to speaking in a large group of people, you can start small by asking a question or agreeing with a statement someone else made. Either way, just say something. By doing so, you are saying to everyone else that you have just as much right to be a part of the conversation as everyone else.

Primp up
There's nothing like the feeling you get when you put on a brand new outfit. It is almost like the clothes came with an instant confidence booster. You also know how much of a drag it is to put on clothes that have seen better days. Being a sharp dresser does not necessarily mean that you have to break your bank. Instead make sure the clothes you are wearing have no holes or tears, are neatly pressed, fit your body, and match accordingly. Start with some basic pieces and accessorize as needed. Depending on your budget, include some high quality items into your wardrobe. You absolutely deserve to feel good about your external appearance every single day. It will not be long before you start receiving comments like "how are you able to dress so nice every day?" Remeber that every aspect of yourself is being visually assessed by those you come in contact with good or bad. Make the extra effort to improve your external presentation even if it is only a small step to where you want to be.

Prepare
You can not make a more lasting impression on a person than when you are knowledgeable about a subject. Any action that you take to prepare for any situation or conversation will not go unnoticed. When you prepare for conversations, meetings, or any other interaction with others, you are telling the person, you felt the meeting was important enough to invest a bit of time in preparation. Soon you will be viewed as the person who "knows his stuff" and you will reap the benefits of having established a solid reputation of being the person who is always on top of things.

Affirm yourself
You should always include positive affirmations about your unique strengths as part of your morning preparation. Tell yourself confidently that you are a person of presence. Remind your subconscious that you always receive the respect of others through your actions. Replay in your mind the message that you are deserving of respect from everyone that you communicate with. Do this exercise everyday until it becomes a part of your daily habits. These affirmations will also cause you to look introspectively at the level of respect you have for yourself. If you respect yourself first, you begin to automatically dictate how much respect you will receive from others.

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Lose your weight naturally

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 04:02:00 +0000

Many of us wish to improve on our health and lose extra weight. But we are often discouraged by the thought of giving up our favorite foods and having to spend countless hours in the gym to lose the weight. The truth is that we can make simple changes to our lifestyle and still lose extra pounds naturally. Here are some great tips that you can use to improve your health starting today.

Drink more water
We often consume a large amount of our daily calories from our sugary drinks. In fact, a study conducted by University of Texas Health Science Center found a 41% increase in risk of obesity for every can of diet soda that we drink every day. If you begin the simple habit of increasing your water intake, you can start reaping the benefits immediately. Drinking more water can help you increase your metabolism and cut your daily caloric intake. A glass of water before your meals will even help you feel full so you eat less at every meal. The most important reason to drink more water is because your body needs enough of it to fully function properly.

Snack often
One reason why we eat so much food at lunch and dinner time is because we are not eating satisfying snacks between meals. If you make the effort to have healthy snacks available, you will be less likely to reach for high calorie snacks throughout the day. Another reason to snack often is because you will have less of an appetite when you eat your meals. You should make every effort to snack on whole foods like fruits, vegetables, unsalted nuts. Make every effort to bring healthy snacks with you to work, and readily available around the house. The key is to have them handy so you are not tempted to run to the snack machine when a craving comes on.

Exercise regularly
Losing weight means consuming fewer calories by improving your eating habits and burning fat through exercise. If traditional workouts to not motivate you to move, you can participate in other activities that will help you burn calories. You can incorporate everyday activities to keep active such as gardening, playing outside with your children, or daily brisk walking in your neighborhood. The key is to find rigorous activities that you enjoy doing. If you enjoy it, you are more likely to do it consistently. Consistency is crucial when losing weight. You goal should be to incorporate more movement into your daily life in a way that is enjoyable for you. If you incorporate consistent physical activity in your life that you truly enjoy, your weight loss will come naturally.

Think differently
If you say that you want to lose weight, what you are really saying is that you want to be healthier. Becoming healthier begins in the mind. If you say to yourself, “I am transforming myself into a healthier person each and every day with my choices,” you are telling your subconscious mind that you are a person that chooses healthier foods and takes direct action to improve on your health. Thinking in a different way is the most natural way to lose weight. Thoughts control who we are and what we do. If we consistently think about how much we love our bodies, we will begin to make the choices that reflect those thoughts. Those choices will create a new reality for us. We will no longer be the person who enjoys eating foods that rob our bodies of nutrition; we will become the person who desires to nourish ourselves with our food choices. Once our desires change, losing weight will not feel like an uphill battle but a wonderful journey.

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Three ways to increase your self-confidence

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 23:45:00 +0000

Who would not want to have more self confidence? Those maintain a greater level of confidence seem to get more out of life than others. When our self confidence is low, we short-change ourselves from experiencing more of what life has to offer. Increasing your level of confidence may seem nearly impossible. The good news is that self confidence, like many other skills, can be learned. Use these three simple techniques to improve your self confidence starting today.

Think again
How you think about yourself determines what you think about yourself. We are constantly playing thoughts in our minds about our abilities, our looks, and our potential. Most of these thoughts are running on autopilot all day long without us even realizing. We simply accept them for what they are and never think to question their validity, or better yet, refute them as false. The biggest obstacle to a strong self confidence is the negative self talk that we allow to program our actions. You can not easily get those negative thoughts to stop playing in your mind; instead, you must consciously repeat phrases that build your self esteem. For instance, instead of saying, “I am never going to lose this weight,” you say to yourself “every time I chose healthy foods, I am creating a healthier, leaner body.” The latter statement will make you want to eat healthier foods so that you can create a leaner body. This statement also gives you power over your body unlike the first statement which takes away from you the ability to change your situation. Use this technique of implementing powerful thoughts over every area of your life that you would like to change.

Fear Not
The greatest hindrance to a strong sense of self is fear. Too often, we concern ourselves with how people perceive us. As a result, we begin to mold our action, or inaction, based on what we believe is expected of us by others. Fear based thinking causes you to second guess your thoughts and actions. A person who constantly second guesses herself will surely lack self confidence. The best way to overcome your feelings of insecurity around others is to spend some quality time finding your true self. What are your strengths? What makes you laugh? What are your ambitions? The answers to these types of questions help to refocus your attention on your greatest qualities. Spend time every morning focusing on your most admirable personality features. As you place your focus on your best attributes, your will begin to experience a wonder boost to your self esteem.

As If
Another very effective method of improving your confidence is act as if you have all of the self confidence you need. People who appear to be self confident usually share similar physical characteristics. They stand straight and walk tall. They maintain solid eye contact and have a strong voice. They also smile confidently and speak slowly enough to draw others in with their words. We associate these actions with confidence. So if we were to implement these same techniques, we would automatically be viewed as someone who is confident in themselves. The best part about using these techniques is that we benefit by developing a sense of confidence just by acting as if our confidence already exists. It may feel awkward at first, but remember that people can not read your thoughts. They have no way of knowing if your confident actions are natural or learned. Best of all, the more you do it, the more natural it will feel to you. So begin your implementing newfound self confidence moves today.

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Unlock your potential in three difficult steps (made easy).

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 11:39:00 +0000

You hear it all the time, “he has so much potential, why isn’t he using it?” Potential is an enigma to some of us. We often see it displayed in magnificent fashion in others but fail to realize similar potential in ourselves. Human potential is virtually limitless. Records are broken constantly and technology is advancing at the speed of light. Most of us have great aspirations to accomplish what may seem to be impossible to us. Because we are overwhelmed at the possibilities, we purposely sabotage the efforts by stopping short or talking ourselves out before even starting in the first place. Every individual can realize their personal potential by incorporating these behaviors into their daily lives.

Challenge
Pablo Picasso once said that he is always doing that which he cannot do, in order that he may learn how to do it. He is a prime example of the unlimited potential in each of us. He openly admitted that there were things that he could not do, but at the same time, he constantly challenged himself for the purpose of building upon his talent. Most people will dismiss his logic by pointing out that Picasso had a natural God-given talent. Perhaps, but even with his talent, he still underwent formal academic art training from the time he was a child. From childhood on, his life consisted of creating works of art in unique styles of painting as he further developed his talent. Even if you do not have a natural ability in certain aspects, the simple act of challenging yourself will bring about massive results in time. Think about the last time you were required to challenge yourself to meet a deadline or to successfully handle a complex situation, how did you fare? Were you able to step up to the challenge? Were you surprised at how resourceful you became when it was absolutely necessary? By consistently challenging yourself, you will experience enormous growth in your potential. Without a challenge, you are robbing yourself of wonderful possibilities for personal growth.

Risk
As you begin to challenge yourself, you will find that you will be put in a position to take more risk. Avoiding risk is one of the most powerful reasons why we do not reach our potential. When we normally think of risk, we tend to focus on the most negative outcome of the situation. By focusing on that aspect alone, we single-handedly destroy the possibility of achieving the reward associated with the risk. When calculating risk you should develop back-up plans in case the situation does not turn out as expected. Your goal should not be to avoid the action, you goal should be to carefully consider the risk and find ways to minimize the risk as much as you are able. If things do not work out as you desired, simply go back to the drawing board with a new perspective and increased wisdom on the subject. A quote once that beautifully describes the need for calculated risk tells us to “go out on a limb, because it is where the fruit is located.”

Persistence
Even if you challenge yourself to take risk, your potential will not fully be reached until you have committed to be persistent in your efforts. Persistence is the secret ingredient to realizing your potential. Without it, you will likely stop digging just two feet short of oil. If you are not persistent, you will want to kick yourself for not following through on your idea that someone else has developed for millions of dollars of profit. Without persistence, your life will be full of could haves and should haves. The uncertainty of what may have been will eat you alive if you do not see things through to the end. Worst of all, you are not even giving yourself the opportunity to succeed. Persistence allowed Sidney Poitier to become the first black actor to win an academy award after being told to “stop wasting people’s time and to get himself a job as a dishwasher” at his first audition. When we are persistent, we continue to take action. If we continue to take action, we will see desired results. Someone with natural talent and no persistence will surely be surpassed by someone with little inherent skill but remains persistent in actions that present a challenge to that person. As you challenge yourself, make persistence a priority. Allow yourself the opportunity to unleash your potential. As you do, you will discover that continuous effort, not strength or intelligence, is the key to unlocking our potential.

Developing Die-Hard Discipline

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 11:47:00 +0000

Your biggest obstacle
Before you incorporate a new ritual or routine into your life, you should be prepared mentally on how to overcome those obstacles that will seek to destroy your new habit. Think ahead to what you will do when you "do not feel" like doing what you are supposed to do. For example, I wanted to incorporate an evening routine that included, among other things, time set aside to tend to my external appearance. My biggest hindrance would manifest itself as laziness. Often I would become sleepy before I could implement my new ritual and promised myself that I would be able to complete the tasks the following night when I was not so tired. That pattern repeated itself until I finally found a solution. The solution to my situation was to start my ritual hours before bed-time so I would not have to be concerned with sleepiness as a hindrance to my new habit. By singling out my obstacle and finding a way to resolve it, I was able to maintain my nightly routine without issue.

Holding yourself accountable
I am sure that you are well aware of the fact that we are more likely to do something if we know that we will have to give an account for its completion. You can chose to use either an internal or an external means of holding yourself accountable depending on your level of discipline.

If you are more of an externally motivated individual, here are some ways to hold yourself accountable for increasing your discipline:

-Tell a close friend or family member of your intentions to change your lifestyle. Let them know the specific actions you will take to make sure that you reach your goals. Have that person contact you weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly so you can provide updates on your progress. Knowing that you will be asked to give an account for your actions will serve as an effective way to increase your discipline.

-Take positive action in anticipation of reaching your goals. For example, you can give away most of your clothes in your current size because you want to make sure that you reach your goal of dropping 2 dress sizes. Another example would be to schedule a speech presentation in front of a group of people as an accountability tool for you overcoming your fear of speaking. For every goal that you have, think of some action that you can take right now to force you to maintain discipline to reach that goal.

If you are internally motivated you can build discipline by using these tips:

-Create an accountability log which lists the actions that you should be making daily. Use that log to document every time you keep your promise to yourself of accomplishing some task. That log will also serve as a record of the times that you do not maintain your discipline.

-Use Jerry Seinfeld's productivity tip. Jerry Seinfeld, the famous millionaire comedian, kept a one page yearly calender on his wall as his accountability tool. Everyday that he worked on his comedy material he would X out that day with a red marker. Soon he created a chain days marked with a red X. His new goal would then be to "not break the chain." The longer the chain, the harder he tried to maintain the chain. This is one of my favorite methods of developing die-hard discipline.

Remember the dangling carrot
All of us are aware of the analogy of dangling a carrot in front of a horse. The carrot is of such value to the horse that he will continue to move towards it no matter how far he has to walk for it. The trick to keeping the horse moving is to place the carrot close enough to the horse's line of sight to motivate him. Whatever it is you want to have, you must always keep the image of it in front of you. You must be able to see it so closely that you can almost reach out and touch it. But, unlike the dangling carrot, what you desire can can actually be obtained if you keep working at it. If you do not keep your goal before you at all times, you will begin to lose sight of why you are maintaining your discipline day after day even if "you do not feel" like it.

These are some simple but very effective steps that you can implement right away. Remember that discipline is simply the ability to do what you have to do, when you have do it, every time you have to do it. Use these tips to elevate your self-discipline to the next level.

Become more assertive (with yourself)

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 20:41:00 +0000

Assertiveness has always been a trait that I longed to refine for many years. I dreamed of the day when I could look a potential intruder of my time straight in the eye and tell that person in no uncertain terms to "shove it." After reading several books and doing extensive research online, I realized that I still did not feel quite comfortable expressing my feelings to others the way I wanted to. I lacked assertiveness in certain areas because of my fear of upsetting those around me. As a result, I became upset with myself as I allowed potential opportunities to engage my assertiveness pass me by time and time again.

After enduring several failed attempts at asserting myself, I realized that there had to be a better way. I felt like I was missing a major piece to this puzzle that the books were not focusing on. I would become frustrated with myself if I used the word "should" in a sentence because the word was considered too passive. Finally I told myself that I would not change my level of assertiveness overnight and began to redirect my attention elsewhere.

As I progressed in my journey to improve the areas of my life that were lacking, I realized how little time and effort I dedicated to my personal agenda. I would wake up and pretty much lounge around until it was time for work. At work, I responded to emails, phone calls, and other requests as they came in. In the evening, I would return home, make dinner, and do little else until time for bed. The cycle would then repeat itself day after day. I exercised no real control over my own life and the direction it was going. How was I expected to become assertive with others if I had not done so with my own self?

The course of my life changed when I began to mold my days to look more like what I wanted. I began by starting my day at 5:00 am. Starting my day this early gave me the opportunity to pray, meditate, and do my devotions. I also had enough time to exercise in the morning and focus on my intentions for the day ahead. By the time I walked into work, I already spent adequate time preparing and visualizing what I wanted the day to look like. I also implemented the some basic time management techniques of doing the most productive work first (not necessarily the most pressing). I made sure to create objectives in my mind, before I started any task, of how long I wanted it to take and how it would look like when I was completed. I constantly looked for more areas of my life where I could create my expectations of what I wanted and worked to meet those expectations the best I could.

As time went on, I no longer wondered if I said the word "should" in a non-assertive sentence. I was designing a new life for myself simply by visualizing intentions and planning my steps. Assertiveness developed as a natural by-product of taking some control over my own life. The assertiveness skills I developed were not the result of repeating exercised learned from a manual. My ability to assert myself was organic in nature. As I cultivated my life to appear more like I had envisioned, I found it only natural to politely tell another person that I could not complete an unreasonable request because of inherent conflicts with my schedule. You will find that as you exercise control over some areas of your life, you will want to conquer every area in your life that is not benefiting from your direct and active involvement.

Designing your life to your specifications is not easy but the results you achieve will help to maintain your motivation. I recommend you start today by planning out the rest of your day. Plan a healthy meal and some time to journal. Reflect on the year that has passed and your intentions for the year ahead. Plan out the most productive assignments at work that you could possibly do but had not had time because you were constantly responding to stimuli. Plan how you will respond to in the event of unexpected interruptions (both internal and external). Imagine the feeling of empowerment you will have once you complete those items. Plan your morning routine. Plan every area of your life by creating specific intentions and strive to obtain them as best you can. Once this habit is developed you will never have to wonder about how to respond assertively to anything that seeks to take control of your time, resources, or life.

How to use the Law of Attraction to change the behavior of others

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 12:54:00 +0000

Change your thoughts, change your life. That phrase is the basic premise of the Law of Attraction. We can take advantage of this natural law by first being conscious of the thoughts that run through our minds, and second, creating affirmative thoughts and visualizing your desires until you create a vibrational match with what you wish to attract into your life. The Law of Attraction (LOA) allows us to redirect our focus from what is hindering us to what will empower us to take positive actions. Many of us have experienced the joys of manifesting a desire when we actively engage in the act of manifestation.

How, then, can we implement this law to impact those in our lives? If we are constantly irritated by the actions of our spouse, boss, mother, friend, how can put to use this wonderful law to change the behaviors of others?

The honest answer is you can't.
But be not dismayed my friend. For though you can not directly change their behavior, you can influence and affect their actions simply by how you chose to think and act. Let me provide an example which should clarify my point.
Say, for instance, you have a spouse who is no longer as affectionate towards you as he or she was in the past. You are frustrated by the situation and thoughts of how selfish that person is runs through your mind throughout the day both consciously and unconsciously. You soon find yourself becoming easily frustrated simply by providing your thoughts the opportunity to roam freely in your head. Your frustration easily manifests itself when your spouse commits a horrendous act that causes you to lose every ounce of reason you once had. This horrendous act is usually something unforgivable like leaving a toilet seat up or being reminded to complete some work around the house. Your off-the-wall reaction to their "incompetence" is not the result of their action, it is the result of built up emotion created by your thought-life.

This situation can be aided by focusing on the problem first, your thoughts second, and thirdly, your actions. The problem, in this example, is that your significant other is not providing you the affection you require. As you observe your thoughts you realize that throughout the day you are amplifying your partner's faults because you are angry and feel heavy under the weight of self-pity. You realize that you are creating an unreasonable expectation that no human can live up to. The situation is unfair to the other person because you have spent the better part of your day preparing for confrontation at the person's first sign of weakness. When you realize that this problem exists, you can begin the second step of managing your destructive thoughts.

The best way to do this is by first simply observing your thoughts. Trying to correct them straight away is way too difficult in the beginning. Observing your thoughts simply means that you will not try to interfere with them at first. You will simply watch them as they happen as a third party with no direct involvement or no attachment to the negative thoughts in your mind. When you grab hold of this truth, you will begin to see the desperate nature of your mind in its attempt to create negative emotions towards the other person. When you realize how easily you can be manipulated to creating negative emotions, you can consciously begin the process of creating positive emotions.

Your next course of action should be to visualize your spouse exactly as you want them to be. The key is to do this so proficiently that your mind begins to believe these images. You can validate its effectiveness with feelings you experience. If these images make you feel all warm and tingly, the exercise is working. Do not stop trying until you experience genuine feelings of love and admiration for your mate. The fun does not stop there. You must use the newfound feelings of affection in your dealings with your spouse. Because you created these emotions without any direct participation of that individual, you must continue to maintain your emotions regardless of whether your partner responds to you differently in real life than he or she does in your mind. That person has developed behaviors in accordance of how you have treated them in the past. They will not change their actions overnight.

Continue to live in your own world of fantasy where your partner is everything you want them to be. You will not be able to maintain your tough exterior, your nagging, or your degrading comments any longer. If fact, you will be able to see the beautiful qualities about your mate that drew you to them in the first place. As your thoughts change, your behaviors change. If your behaviors are genuine, your spouse will have no other choice but the take notice of the way you behave. Soon will be begin to experience the fruit of your labor as your partner begins to manifest some of the same behaviors you longed for that person to have.

When I explain this technique to my friends the most difficult part for them to overcome is letting go of the destructive thoughts about their spouse. Because the thoughts have been allowed to roam freely, they believe that every thought which appears is true. They also wish to hold on to their ability to think negatively about someone who is causing them so much hurt. I respond by reminding them that they have nothing to lose and everything to gain by using this technique. This method of using the Law of Attraction costs nothing and only provides benefits to the participant. You feel good throughout the day because you fantasize about your spouse becoming your ideal partner. Commit yourself to trying this exercise everyday, you will soon begin to experience the miracle of using the Law of Attraction to change the behaviors of others.

How to be thankful in everything

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 11:13:00 +0000

The Thanksgiving holiday invites us to increase our awareness of the many blessings we have received throughout the year. We take inventory of the things we have, such as our homes, cars, health, family, and express gratitude for how well the year has progressed to date. We enjoy the opportunity give thanks for everything good in our lives. An attitude of gratefulness encourages you to be conscious of all the good things in your life that you should grateful for. The concept is similar to that of a person who purchases a new red Nissan. The moment they drive off the lot, they begin to realize that every other vehicle on the road is also a red Nissan. Not because everyone went out and purchase their cars when you did, but because you have developed an awareness of that vehicle.

As children, we were conditioned to give thanks in direct correlation to what we received. You may remember your mother giving you something and asking you "what do you say?" in response to receiving. This type of receive-give thanks pattern is customary. In fact, our parents would think that something was wrong if we ever showed them generous gratitude without being prompted by a specific event occurring just before the words of thanks. They would usually display their disbelief by asking you what you wanted in response to the gratitude you were expressing. This further engraved in our minds the theory that we must only show gratitude once we have received the object we are thankful for.

Living a victorious life requires us to be thankful for all things at all times. This requirement becomes difficult if we can not pinpoint a specific reason to be grateful. An attitude of gratitude is even more laborious if we are experiencing difficult and painful emotions as result of what is happening in our lives. There is a verse in the Bible that says "In all things give thanks." Notice the writer did not say "for all things give thanks." We are not necessarily required to be thankful for what we are going through. We need to be thankful in everything we are experiencing. When you went up to your mom for no reason and simply said "thank you mom," you had no specific reason in mind. It was a "just because" thank you. We ought to develop a just because type of gratitude in all circumstances. When we do, our awareness heightens and, much like the example of the new car, we begin to find more reasons to be thankful for that did not seem to be there before.

We feel good when we give thanks. This act brings into perspective how blessed we truly are. You can not remain in your mental lull after vocalizing a long list of every person, thing, experience, you appreciate in your life. Even the not-so-good past experiences in your life have helped to develop you as the person you are today with regards to emotional growth and the wisdom you received. Be thankful!
Remember to be thankful "in" everything. Thankful for what the experience means and not for what it gives. You will see how quickly your mind shifts when you begin to appreciate everything just as it is.

Thank you......and have a great day!

The consequences of Inauthentic Living

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 11:40:00 +0000

Most of us are live out our days performing activities that are inauthentic to our true nature. Many of our inauthentic actions stem from a mix of social conditioning and our own inability to explore our true selves. We often accept parts of us that are not conducive to who we would like to become by claiming undesired habits or behaviors as "who we are." When we claim undesirable actions as who we are, we unfairly lay burdens on ourselves that we are not equipped to carry.

The areas of your life where you are experiencing discomfort serve as a clear signal of resistance against your true nature. If you are uncomfortable with the extra 10-20lbs of weight you are carrying, your body is letting you know that that you are not in alignment with your true or ideal body weight. If you feel unhealthy stress from your job or co-workers, you are very likely in an environment where you are not allowed to fully express your true nature in an authentic way. Wherever there is drastic compromise of your true self, you will begin to first feel an internal discomfort, and second, you will experience self-destructive symptoms in your life.

You will begin punishing yourself for your inability to allow your truest nature to experience freedom. For example, at work you feel that you are not given the opportunity to provide true value to the organization but instead feel that you are merely following orders handed down to you from the powers that be. As a result, you begin to sabotage your work by subconsciously slowing down your productivity and filling your working hours with menial unimportant tasks. Or maybe you are in a relationship where you feel that you can not fully express your opinions in a way that satisfies your truest nature, so you begin to supplement your emotional well-being with food, shopping, or other self-destructive activities.

The problem with living without authenticity is that your subconscious is fully aware of the fact that you are out of alignment. You generally begin to feel bad about yourself and seek to feel better by creating an equally destructive activity to soothe your emotions. These activities are ideal for providing momentary pleasures that seem to make up for the lack of honesty in your life. The problem with these "fillers" is that they create even more imbalance and resistance in your life. The more we involve ourselves with self-destructive behaviors, from inauthentic living, the more these behaviors begin to become habits in our lives. Eventually we become so accustomed to identifying with inauthentic behaviors that we falsely believe the actions to be that of our true natures. Soon we claim ourselves to be smokers, or lazy, or overweight, or shy, or whatever.

The question we fail to ask ourselves is why? Why do I smoke, over eat, or waste my time on self-limiting activities? Why do I keep doing "stupid" things that keep me trapped in a pattern of self-destructive behavior? Your answer to these questions. Your real answer to these questions will lead you down the path to living authentically. Start by being honest with yourself. Is their fear, anger, or other emotion suppressed deep inside?
Covering our emotions is similar to burying something while it is still alive. You know that it has not died. You will not rest because you understand that what you have done is unnatural. Your mind not will allow a moment of peace until you provide it the opportunity to freely express what needs to be expressed without hindrance.

Welcome your new authentic life by being as honest with yourself as you are able. Ask the difficult questions and provide answers to them. Realize that you no longer have to use compulsive activities as diversions that keep you separated from the truth that lurks beneath. Look at the truth square in the face so you can realize the freedom that comes with living in an authentic way. As you commit to authentic living, soon realize that the truth is easier to deal with than a mind that is struggling to become free.

Creating a Positive Attitude

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 12:20:00 +0000

Positive Attitude. We hear that word thrown around from time to time whenever we are asked to respond a certain way to life's challenges. But what does attitude really have to do with life's not so pleasant surprises? If we chose react to a situation with fear or with unwavering resolve to overcome the challenge, how does that change the actual situation? The answer to the question is that positive attitude does not change the situation. It changes us. Let me further explain this concept with an analogy I once heard.

A man was attempting to teach his son a life lesson. He poured some water into a pot on the stove and brought the water up to a boil. As the water boiled he put in a carrot. After being exposed to the hot water a while the carrot became soft and broke apart. Next he put an egg into another pot of boiling hot water. After a few minutes, the egg hardened. Finally the man placed coffee beans into a pot of boiling water and soon the aroma of coffee filled the air.

When he was finished the man asked his son if he had learned anything. The son seemed confused so the father explained his demonstration. The water represents the difficult circumstances that we face in life. The carrot is the person who can not stand in the face of adversity and crumbles under difficult circumstances. The egg is the person who allows situations affect them so greatly that they become hardened and changed. The coffee represents the person who uses the situation given to his or her advantage and changes the aroma of the surrounding environment.

This story is a clear example of how the same circumstance can have a different affect on each of us. The person represented by the carrot and the egg are those who view the boiling water as something negative. As a result, they allowed the external circumstance to change who they are. When a situation seems to be completely out of our control, all we have left is choice. We can make a conscious choice about who we want to be in the face of adversity and how we will let a situation impact us. Will we use it as a powerful life lesson or will we allow it to defeat us?

Whenever we do not consciously choose to have a positive attitude, we are granting permission for that situation to change who we are. We say without words that we can not hold on to our true essence when life is not going as expected. But with a different attitude, we say to ourselves that we are strong enough to withstand the circumstance. And above all, we have the power to change it.

Creating an effective To-do list

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 02:26:00 +0000

The to do list is a shining example of how much we love to complete a myriad of seemingly important activities that make us feel as important as a bride on her wedding day. The more items we are able to cross off our prized list, the better. The longer the list, the more tasks we can eliminate, and the greater we feel about our accomplishment. Day after day we compile our trusty collection of "things" to do and work feverishly on them, hoping to create some type of daily satisfaction from every scratched item listed.

My completed to do lists were so valuable to me that I kept a stack of past lists and reviewed them from time to time. I would thumb through the lists and relish at how many "things" I had completed in the past day, week, or month. Yes sir, I had, in my possession, written documentation of how productive I was and I was proud of it.
The other day, while at a meeting of other like minded people, I received an insight that forever changed the way I think about to-do lists. The person heading the meeting made a profound statement to the group. His words hit me like a ton on bricks. His words deflated the trust that placed in the mighty to-do list.

The gentleman explained the differences between extraordinary people and those who are not so extraordinary. One major distinction lay in their to-do list. Your to-do list is where you place your focus. Whatever you focus on expands. Extraordinary people focus on results. Those who are not, focus on activities. Sometimes, when we focus on activities, we think we will get the same results but that is often not the case. Sometimes, our to do list serve to keep us busy and stagnant, must like a person in on a treadmill. Your are still running, but are you getting anywhere?

From this day forward, your to-do list is no longer a to-do list. Today your list is now an action plan. An action plan consists of actions that you take which bring you that much closer to the results you want. Before creating your daily action plans, think of the results you want to obtain. Think long and hard until you are certain and have a clear
picture of what you wish to accomplish. Extraordinary people focus on results. As they plan their steps based on the end result, they bring themselves closer to what they want to achieve every single day. The more focused they are on reaching their desired outcome, the more extra-ordinary they become. Today is the day that you no longer write down things to do for the sake of having a written list of things to do. You no longer have "things" to do, you have actions to take. Those actions will propel you forward faster than anything else you can do to have what you desire. Those actions are the salvation you have been seeking on your personal development journey. Those actions will create results that will define your new reality.

Crystal Clear Clarity

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 03:11:00 +0000

Are you able to clearly describe exactly what it is you wish to experience in life? Better yet, can someone close to you describe exactly what it is you want to me if I were to ask them? If you are not able to describe exactly what you desire in life, you are creating a barrier to actually receiving what you want. Think about what would happen if you visited a high end restaurant and made an order of "something really good to eat." You might get back something to eat, but would it be good to you? Would the meal be what you had in mind? Would you eat it even if you did not love it simply because it was what the waiter gave you?

For the longest time I had the severe difficulties clearly defining and voicing my intentions. I believe a combination of fear and disbelief was the culprit. If I was to make known what I desired, it would mean that:

1. I would actually have to know what I wanted.
2. I would need to acticulate those intentions in a way that adequately described what was in my head.
3. I may actually be held accountable for the words I spoke about my intentions.

So while I was allowing those excuses to hold me back to proclaiming exactly what it is I wanted, I continued to recieve a generic version of what I wanted my life to be.
It was as if the chef had brought out "chicken" but not prepared the way I wanted to experience it. The worst part about not expressing my intentions specifically, was that I could not say to myself, "I did not want breaded chicken, I wanted baked chicken."
There are several methods you can use to develop that clear picture. You can implement the help of a vision board to make those mental images come alive. You can also journal your thoughts on paper. Best of all, you can vocalize exactly what you wish to experience. Children often do this when they vividly describe the way they want their life to be when they grow up.
I believe that we are extremely unproductive when we do not have a clear picture of what we desire and the reasons why. In the case of romantic relationships, this idea is extremely important. Alot of time is wasted on one unproductive relationship after another when we remain with an individual who does not have our similar values.
We may find it challenging to explicitly express our desires if we have never done so before. If you are having difficulty describing what you want, you may start with what you do not want. Once you have detailed what you wish to avoid, immediately convert those images to what you wish to experience. If you remain on "what you do not want" for too long, then your focus is on the negative. Our focus creates our reality so we must be sure to focus on the right things. As soon as your are able to articulate your desires, you will be able to notice the incongruencies between what it is you want and what it is you are currently experiencing. Once that happens, you can make critical decisions on what actions steps you need to make to experience those things you desire in your life.

Understanding the act of Creation

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 10:50:00 +0000

Creation. The human act of creating. As we read these words we may be thinking of producing some type of tangible object. We all know those who are naturally creative. They are able to create magnificent specimens simply by putting their creative ideas into action and "viola!" If we are not one of those people we may find ourselves secretly wishing we could could make something appear from a creative mental thought.

Truth is, we are one of those people. All of us. Constantly creating. Creating does not necessarily require conscious effort. Every thing I do, every second of the day, creates a result. Am I experiencing a desired result? Perhaps. But if there exists any area where I am not happy with the result, I can simply produce a new creation.

How do you do that you ask? The first place you start is in your thought life. Thoughts are the beginning of everything that is. Everything we see, touch, experience in our lives is the result of thought. Secondly, we need to be conscious of our action or inaction.

Thought+Action=Creation=Reality

So now, lets speak practically. I have a relatively cluttered office space which I know needs to be organized and decorated. As I look around at my space, I wonder how this disorganized office was created. When we first moved into our home, we had a empty room, ready to become whatever I wanted to create. With every moment that I spend in the office, I make critical decisions on what I am creating. Lately, because of my actions, I have created an undesirable work location. Did it happen because I consciously said to myself, "I will add more clutter to my office every day." Of course not. To be honest, my mind has been nudging me to take time out to remove the clutter. But remember that thought alone does not create. Creation is thought and action.

As I tune in to my thoughts about the uncomfortable feeling of working in a cluttered office, and I take action to remove the clutter, I commence the act of creation. Soon, I will have created a wonderful, inviting office area that inspires me to create even more. So there you have it. We all have the power to create. The act of creation can be a wonderful thing if we use it for good and not evil. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got an office to organize.

Maintaining your Personal Development High

noreply@blogger.com (Nadege) — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 11:00:00 +0000

We have all been there. After reading a fantastic personal development book, or attending a motivational seminar, you are ready to take over the world. New goals are written and more promises are made to yourself. Your life becomes anew.
A few months later you barely remember what you learned, your life reverts to what it was before your drastic changes, and you are off seeking that new message which will, once again, turn your life around.

For me, this is the most frustrating part of self development. We can never get enough of it, yet we sometimes barely see lasting results. How do we change this?
I believe the answer comes from how we view the personal development process. When we first begin to make changes in our lives we get excited about the results, not the process. Because of our misdirected focus, we cease to remain consistent in our daily actions and, of course our results quickly fade.

Think of your personal change as a process as necessary as bathing. This morning as you get ready for the day, you take a shower. The results of the shower, a clean fresh smelling body, stays with you most of the day. Throughout the day you go on about your daily tasks and, by the end of the day, the freshness fades and you find yourself in need of another shower.

Showering is a daily activity for all of us. We understand and accept that concept. We do not get frustrated because the results of yesterday's shower is no longer obvious. We do not become depressed and blame ourselves because we, once again, need another shower. On the contrary we simply jump in the shower, day after day, so that we can enjoy the results of our daily efforts.

The results of our personal development occurs because of our daily actions. We are fooling ourselves if we expect lasting changes from sporadic or non-existent efforts.
We need to truly grasp the idea that it is our daily efforts which produces the "lasting" change in our lives. Once we understand and accept this concept, we can then maintain that "shower fresh" feeling of personal growth every day.