It wasn’t until I was talking with my daughter recently that I realised there was a huge difference between the way I’d been raised and the way my husband and I chose to raise her.

My daughter and I have a few things in common. We both are the only girl in our families. I had 4 brothers and she has two. We are both very focused when we know what we want. We both have a huge creative streak shooting through us. We both have big dreams.

The big difference between us is that she’s been raised to be brave but I was raised to be a good girl. She’s taking on life and doing things her own way.  That’s exactly how it should be.

For me it was different. When I replay the soundtrack of my childhood, this is what I hear.

“That’s not very ladylike.”

“It’s ok for the boys, but you’re not a boy!”

“You don’t want to upset anyone.”

“What will people think?”

“That’s not a good career choice.”

(I guess that last one was legitimate comment. I had wanted to be a ballet dancing artist who minded animals, became a famous author and wrote songs.)

It was quite clear to me that my acceptable life choices lay between specified points of the spectrum. I guess it was a reflection of times, but these are the things that shape you; that condition your thinking as you grow up.

If I was raised as a boy who was allowed to get his fingernails dirty, fight for his rights and not worry so much about what other people thought, would I be different now?  If I could have enjoyed the rough and tumble of judo without being segregated and allowed no physical contact, would I be more ready to stand up for my rights now?

Running my own business has meant challenging the beliefs and limitations I grew up with and that hasn’t been easy.  All the things that were taboo are now an essential part of business survival. Everything is tough out there. People who can’t voice their opinions in case they offend someone, or can’t ask for what they want and have a reasonable expectation of getting it, are people whose business will collapse under them.  I have to be able to fight for what I want and I have to be prepared to do things my way, no matter who tells me I’m wrong. I have to be strong enough to take risks and live with the consequences.

But there’s the difference between the way my daughter and I were raised. I’ve always told my daughter to follow her passions. Go where her interests lie and see what happens. Be brave. Take a risk. It’s the same message I’ve given my sons.

I’ve also told her that I’ll be there to back her, no matter what happens, no matter who says what about her and whether she’s done it in steel capped boots or stilettos.

I haven’t raised her to be a comfort; I’ve raised her to be a challenge.

Just imagine how a girl like my daughter would run a business. She knows what she wants and she knows what she’s entitled to. She’s strong enough to fight for her rights and gentle enough to care for others while she does it.  What a powerful combination.

Bravery was never expected of me as I grew up. Bravery belonged to the blokes.

But that’s where my parent’s generation got it all wrong.

Brave is feminine.

Strong is feminine.

Independent is feminine.

If you have daughters, always let them speak for themselves, think for themselves. Don’t put boundaries on their dreams. That happens all too soon as we grow up. While they are young, embed it into their minds that they have choices, and the only limits on them are the ones they choose to impose.

And while you’re at it, if you haven’t already, start telling yourself the same thing.

Published in ROOOAR Magazine, 2015

 

All the hype about healthy breakfasts does my head in. is everyone biased against the Tim Tam breakfast?  In my opinion, Tim Tams are a perfectly delicious and very reasonable breakfast food choice.

So what if the chocolate melts in your fingers as you do the Tim Tam slam? It’s all the more to enjoy later on as you lick up that gooey goodness.

Let me make the situation even worse.

Let’s have Tim Tams for breakfast while you’re still in your pyjamas. And be daring – stay in those PJs while you start work. Well, unless you have to leave home to go to work. That would be just plain weird.

It’s not just the Tim Tams I love.  It’s the whole experience. I feel naughty, decadent and child-like. I keep waiting for my mother to pop up from nowhere and tell me I shouldn’t be doing it.

That’s what makes it such a perfectly reasonable breakfast choice. Not only do the Tim Tams please my tastebuds, they change my mindset straight away.

When I sit down to a traditional, healthy breakfast, I can be confident that I’m doing the right thing for my health. I’m basically pretty pleased with myself. That’s the mindset that then carries over when I start work. I do the right thing at the right time and using the right words. I do a great job.

But sometimes as a writer, I need more than that. I need to shake off that ‘goodness’ and start thinking differently. I need to cut through the noise, and it’s not easy to do if I’ve done what I always do that morning. I need to think from the Tim Tam point of view.

People say that getting away from the office is great when you want to think outside the box.  While that’s true, you can’t always get away. You can achieve the same results by varying your routine and doing at least one thing differently. Just make sure that one thing is big enough to trigger different feelings inside you.

I love Tim Tams and I love feeling like a naughty kid when I have them for breakfast. When I have that rule breaker feeling, my brain says “What the hell! Let’s go break rules!” It thinks all the thoughts it wouldn’t normally do. It has new ideas and creates new solutions, and all because I’ve made one simple change to my routine.

Strong women eat Tim Tams. Creative women eat Tim Tams. Powerful women eat Tim Tams.  AND, they even do it in their pyjamas.

Put away your breakfast biases and see Tim Tams for the brain power tool they really are.

So, would you like one Tim Tam or two?

Published in ROOOAR Magazine, 2015

Long or short form?

You might be thinking about how much you hate those long sales pages. They can be bad, can’t they? Lots of text which seems to repeat itself over and over again, and all the critical information stuck at the end of the page. Even worse are the ones which don’t include a price. If it doesn’t resonate with you, the page could be badly written, poorly laid out or maybe you’re just not their target customer.

Long pages have a place and are generally your best choice if your product is expensive or complicated. They are great for capturing people who are still weighing up the pros and cons of buying the product. That’s where your copy needs to be clear and convincing.

Short form pages work well for purchases which are inexpensive, and where the buyer isn’t taking a big risk when buying. Of course, nothing is ever set in concrete and it very much depends on your audience. You need to understand the preferences of your ideal customer.

My advice is to use as many or as few words as you need.

Let’s look at the key ingredients of a sales page that converts. While we’re going through them, you might like to look at this page from Digital Marketer which uses many of these elements. (Although I’m not a fan of the image at the top which has content I can’t read.)