I am thinking of starting with a message board, where members can sign up and interact with others who aren’t out yet, as well as those who are. I feel as if many people, myself included have tons of great knowledge to share and why not make this a place to do so? 

Be on the look out for new development in the next few weeks and hopefully a full launch in the coming days and/or weeks. 

That being said, as this is going to be for the community…are there any tools that you might like to see? Ways to interact or other community styled sites you are familiar with and enjoy the style of? Any ideas are welcomed and if you want to help out in anyway it is more then appreciated. 

Stay tuned….

Update: That was faster then I thought…forums are now live http://ClosetedGay.com/forums

The night started off with a few glasses of wine at home before I headed out. My friend picked up a few of my shirts and accessories b/c she is going as me to a party this weekend. I head out and go to a party at Ambassador which my friend is throwing for her company’s launch. I get a few drink tickets from her and start to mingle.

I see and hang out with a bunch of friends, then a girl friend wants to see what’s upstairs. We start to head up that way and it seems like the security guard is checking for some wristband, which we don’t have. We somehow manage to work our way past him and upstairs. This guy comes up to me and is like, hey aren’t you Nick Starr…we are friends on Facebook (I have reached the 5,000 friend cap on Facebook, and am not sure how I know 1/2 of those people).

We start to talking and flirting a bit. I buy us a few drinks with my drink tickets (clue 1) and we wonder around and talk for quite some time. We talk with some of my friends downstairs and some people he knows upstairs. Little did I know at the time, but they were 2 separate parties and that I probably shouldn’t of been upstairs.

We wind up leaving the party while holding hands and go to his friend’s studio a block away. We are all hungry so head to Jack In The Box for some food. It is around $10 and I pay (note this is the second sign that tonight is headed downhill, but I don’t know that this is a warning sign….yet). We go back and eat, some girls come over and everyone is talking. I fell asleep on the couch. I’m awaken around 1:30-2ish and he’s like let’s go back to my place. He was sort of insistent, and I was like, “I live closer” he said let’s just go to my place…okay I have no problem with that.

He then tells me he lives behind Stonestown mall. Little did I know this is over a 8 mile cab ride back. I sort of remember him saying he would split it, which was good b/c all I had was $15 left on me. We get in the cab and the cabbie takes us a much longer route (about 10 miles in total), and the fare reaches $18. I ask the guy for his money b/c we are over what I have. He scrounges around and only can find $2 in coins…WTF? (clue 3)

I ask the cabbie to take us to an ATM and the guy and the cabbie get into a verbal fight over who knows what. The cabbie asks us to leave and just to give him $10. Now we are Ocean Avenue (aka I have no idea where this is) and walking trying to find a new cab. There are none to be found. We find an ATM and I’m like, hey go get out $20 for a cab if we find one. He tell me he might have $10, but not $20 and most ATM’s don’t give out anything in denominations of $10 (clue 4 at this point that this is going to be a bad night).

I go to the ATM and pull out some money and am charged a ridiculous fee by the ATM & my bank. We keep walking, and I’m in nice shoes which are NOT meant for long distance walking. We walk (according to Google Maps this morning) the 2.1 remaining miles to his place, as we never saw another cab. It is now cold, past 2am, and I’m tired. We are walking towards the place and he tells me that his grandfather lives there (clue #, well let’s just fucking say that the rest of the story is one giant clue), but is in the far bedroom…oh goodie. He then is like, I guess you will want to sleep in my bedroom….um yeah that is why I came all this fucking way. I don’t quite understand at this point why he said that…

I found out once we got there that he just moved there 5 days ago and the room he is “staying” in has NO BED!!! So there I am…lying on the carpet floor while he is in the bathroom. I’m so pissed at this point, but apparently was still drunk and horny. (Here is the dirty details you can tune out at this point if you don’t want to know what we did in bed). He starts to rim me which is personally one of my favorite things. I asked when we go into the bedless bedroom if he had condoms and lube and he said he did. I wouldn’t of allowed him to start anything unless he had condoms and lube.

Well turns out he doesn’t have lube, just some lotion he found….fucking great. Now I was involved in a small orgy a few weeks ago where there was no lube, and we used lotion…it was okay, but not ideal. We proceed to go about all pre-sex items and I am really horny at this point. He gets the lotion and we start fucking. Now for all this trouble and frustration I’ve gone thru at this point….it is all gone from my mind with how good the sex was. We fall asleep and wake up the next morning (today) at 7ish and go at it once more.

He takes me all the way to work on the M line (thank god for Muni passes) and we part ways just outside where I work. He texts me a little bit later asking how I’m doing and making sure I’m not pissed.

Let’s just say I have a few extra questions to ask a person (like do you have a fucking bed) besides their STD/AIDS status before agreeing to go home with them from now on.

He tells me that the other attendant is leaving at the same time we are getting there to go work a red eye, and we would have the place to ourselves. Hmmm…sounds good considering the last time we just fooled around in my car lol. We went in and said goodbye to the other flight attendant as he was leaving and started to kiss. At dinner we didn’t really hold hands or anything as we are both too shy to make the first move.

Anyway, the evening progressed from there. I helped him do a load of laundry and we went back into the hotel room and made out for what seemed like an eternity. It was so much fun and passionate. It was really intense…more then just a random hookup. We didn’t even end up having sex, although honestly we did fool around.

After finishing laundry, we decided to watch a movie and threw in The Devil Wears Prada to his Macbook. We got into bed and started to fall asleep and then started to fool around again, lol. It was so passionate…I don’t know any other way to describe it. We literally fell asleep lip locked in a kiss.

He had to be at the airport at 6am, so we woke up at 5am (yuck) and of course I drove him and dropped him off. I missed seeing him go, and he won’t be back until LATE Sunday night. We have plans to hang out on Monday or Tuesday, and have been texting each other non-stop the past few days. I sort of have a crush on him, and it seems as if he is the same way. I haven’t ever had a boyfriend before, so I don’t want to rush into putting labels on anything, but I think he is pretty close to the qualifications I look for in a guy. Plus it helps that he is super cute.

Alright I am starting to sound like a stupid school girl….

It was amazing…I saw him and he saw me pretty much at the same time. His name was Michael…and we hit it off right away…We ran outside downstairs and Facebook guy (#1) was there…yikes…well we hadn’t made anything official so it was okay. He was going with his friend to Pink anyway, and it is $15 cover there, and I didn’t want to leave really. We said goodnight for the evening.

Michael and I went back upstairs and talked and made out the rest of the night. We went back to my car and had every intention of going back to his place, but started going at each other in the car right there…It was a lot of fun, and we talk every day when he is out of the area flying around. I can’t wait to hang out with him again.

I went to bed with a huge smile on my face….Michael and I totally clicked and it was awesome to finally meet him.

Saturday was pretty boring…I went out to The Mix but ended up calling it an early night.

Sunday…well Sunday. I went out to lunch with Facbook guy (#2 aka Dustin). He is a musician and has a great thin frame. We had lunch in The Castro then went back to his place….we talked earlier about taking things slowly on the first date. We watched some tv and he turned the futon from couch to bed and we got down to our boxers and took a nap and rubbed each others bodies.

After the relaxing nap with him, I got a text from a guy I had been talking to off and on from A4A. He lives right next to The Bar on Castro, so I went over there and he fucked me.

I went downstairs to The Bar afterwords for a few drinks…planning on making it another early night. When out of the corner of my eye I spot this insanely hot guy. He was 22, about 5′10″ well built (semi-muscular), AMAZING ASS, etc. He was with a few guys but we locked eyes a few times. I saw the guys he was with leave, and was sad to see him go. I had another beer then went to 440 for some cheaper beers. Along the way, I saw him chilling out the sidewalk. We locked eyes as I was going into 440 and shortly after he was in there and brushed me as he walked by.

I finally saw him alone, so went up to talk to him (let’s call him X). We got to know each other a little bit. He kept telling me that I was so hot, and I kept saying that no he was so hot. I began to suck on his ear lobe a bit…and he whispers that if I don’t stop that he might just have to fuck me. oOo. Things heat up and we are stroking each others cock with our hands down each others pants right there in the bar.

Then he goes off and starts talking to the guys he was with…and this other guy comes up (a bit taller and heavyset) and starts hugging on him, etc. X comes back and is hanging all over me for a while, then goes and talks to his friends. The other guy comes up to me and is like, “did you just meet him here?” I say, ” what is it to you?” He tells me that X is going home with him, blah blah blah.

I tell X this when he comes back to me and he explains that the guy who said that is just some jackass, but he is there with his boyfriend (who is prob in his 40’s), and it is complicated. So, I go and start to work up the boyfriend, because honestly I wanted to get with X so badly as this point. X’s boyfriend and I hit it off, and we all decide shortly after to go for some pizza then go home. They keep asking me if I am going home with them… I am like sure.

We head towards their house, which I later learn is in Redwood City…a good long drive from The Castro. We get home and go to the bedroom. The boyfriend is in bed with us, but not really doing much to me…more just touching X, etc. A little strange but it didn’t matter X was so hot nekkid.

He apparently doesn’t get to top ….EVER…with his boyfriend….so he was quite excited as throughout the night I was telling him that he could fuck me….We go out at and it is quite passionate. He fucked me for a while, then I fucked him ….and let me say that when I said he had an amazing ass…I REALLY meant it….omg. We both finished with him fucking me on my back, and shooting his load on my face and stomach at the same time as I shot….it was intense and passionate.

We both ran off and took a shower, and fell asleep for the night. Well that is until the 5 or 6 times I woke up in the middle of the night and started jerking him. Finally in the morning we went at it again, this time for less time, as I had to leave, and while his boyfriend was in the shower. I was about 30 minutes late to work today, but oh man it was so worth it.

Oh…and yes to MrGayPortland28 I did use protection with each and every guy I was with this weekend.

The first guy, Preston he and I talked for a while when I first moved here and were so excited about meeting. We met at his place and planned to spend the night there. We did, we made out and I ended up blowing him once that night, and again in the morning…but after that we didn’t talk.

The second guy is a pretty big muscular guy who has a HUGE 8″ VERY THICK cock and was a total top. When I went to his place a long time ago we talked for a few minutes but he was like, sorry dude just not into it.

Well over the past 2 days these two guys contacted me on one of the online m4m sites that I am on, and we started talking. I recognized Preston, but not this other guy (at first…I sort of remembered him later on). Preston and I now are about the same body type, but back when we first met I was heavier, etc.

Well Preston asks me to come over to his place 2 days ago….I do and he sort of remembers me, but not completely. I kept saying, yeah you look familiar too, but didn’t let on that we had met before. We talked for a while then started making out. We ended up fucking and it was amazing. I really felt comfortable with him and even took off my shirt which I almost never do. We ordered in and watched some tv then went at it again after dinner. Had an amazing time with him and he and I have been talking ever since. We were talking about hanging out yesterday, but I didn’t get his message to hang out till it was too late….oh well.

Well, I did have someone to hang out with last night….2 someones. The first was the muscle guy with the huge cock. We talked online for a bit, he invited me over…I came over and we started going at it. Again, this guy didn’t recognize me, but with my new look it felt good to get his approval…and his amazing well u get it. He pounded me for quite sometime and it felt a lot better then I thought it would considering his pretty big size. We finished up and I took off to go meet my Facebook guy.

The Facebook guy and I started talking yesterday ironically, and I don’t remember where I saw him but I friend requested him and he accepted. We started emailing thru FB and decided we wanted to hang out for some beers, etc. I headed out to where he lives and we went to a local dive bar for a few drinks. Walked down the road a bit and had some tacos and a full pitcher of margaritas which we barely finished 1/2 of. It was some really good conversation and I had a blast hanging out with him. I drove him back to his place a few blocks away and we went inside for a bit. We kissed a little bit. He has a friend coming in from San Diego tonight, and the three of us are going to hang out in the Castro tonight…then crash at his friends hotel room in Union Square.

So…that is my story of redemption or something along those lines….I have to say I am totally enjoying looking better and more attractive and having fun with some cute guys. I don’t know what will happen with Facebook guy tonight, but who knows…he just got out of a long relationship and I don’t want to rush anything.

Last night I went back to Club Seven, which I haven’t been to in the past 3 weeks or so. Mick, my friend (Billy’s ex) who first started getting me to go wasn’t going to make it, but I knew some of his friends from the club. I sat at the bar like I normally do, drinking my beer, when his friends come up and are in total shock over how I look. Daniel, this tall blonde gay guy who I have had my eye on since I first started going there, and his lesbian friend were the two I ended up spending most of the night with.

I began to have a few beers and we talked quite a bit…the club wasn’t as busy as the last time I was there, but by later in the evening there were more people showing up. Somehow, and don’t ask me how this happened since I haven’t danced in YEARS, Daniel and I started dancing on the dance floor….I held my own and was having a great time.

There was a lot of drama with Daniel’s friend with an ex who was there and that was getting old after a while. I stayed out of it all….I’m not a fan of drama at all…And then I had my own personal drama…

Well let me start by saying there is a 3rd guy to this story which I will get to in a bit.

Daniel and I are dancing and this other guy, who seems very fem and is there with the same “crew” every week starts eyeing me and motioning me to come over. I was busy dancing so I sort of gave the “in a few minutes” signal….A little while later, I went into the bathroom to use the bathroom and he was in there. He starts talking shit about Daniel and is saying if I want to dance with a real man, etc. He gets pretty close to me and is very close to kissing me. Now he was okay looking, but not my type really. He had flat ironed hair that was two-toned (blond and black)…I managed to get out of kissing him as Daniel came into the bathroom.

He (Daniel likes to call him the Peacock) leaves and I finish up and Daniel and I walk out together. We go back on the dance floor and The Peacock is pulling me towards him, while Daniel is pulling me towards him. They were both literally pulling my arms straight out on the dance floor trying to get me to go with them. Daniel won out, and the other guy stormed off and left the club with his “posse.”

Now the 3rd guy…another time when I was leaving the bathroom, this really cute more muscular guy and I locked eyes and we kept looking at each other the rest of the night. He was there with 2 other guys, of which one seemed to be close with him. As the music was dying down and they were kicking people out he winked at me, and I wasn’t sure what to do. I grabbed a cocktail napkin and pen and wrote down my number. I tried to be all slick and put it in his back pocket of his jeans on the way out, but that didn’t work out so well.

His friend (who I later found out was his boyfriend) was like, “What the hell do you think you are doing?” I was already a little bit ahead of them by then and he had grabbed the paper from me. I thought, well I might see him next week who knows….

Daniel, his friend, and another girl decide to head to Denny’s afterwords, which apparently they do regularly, and I was invited along. Daniel and I as we were leaving the club hugged and had one kiss. We went to a late late 2am dinner at Denny’s and there was more drama with Daniel’s friend and two of her ex’s now.

Daniel and I watched some porn on my iPhone, and had a good time hanging out. We hugged at the end of the night and said we would see each other next week.

On my drive home at 3:30am, I get a phone call from a number I don’t know….I am like WTF it is 3:30am who is calling me? I hadn’t given Daniel my number…it was the other guy who I had been eying all night. Apparently his boyfriend threw the number on the ground outside, but he went back (at around 3:15am) and got it. We talked for a few minutes, but I was so tired and still a bit buzzed, so we decided we would talk more today.

It was an amazing night…never in my life have I had anything like that happen. I have never been fought over between two guys, let alone had another guy from across the bar eying me all night. It certainly will go down as one of my more memorial trips to a club….I can’t wait till next Monday.

BTW The funniest part is that all these guys I talked to, and there were a few more, had no idea I had ever been to the club before. I have been about 5 times, but I guess my appearance has changed so much that it’s like I’m a whole new person.

On Saturday, I head over to The Bar on Castro after running around all day…I notice they are having some sort of “beer specials” and since that is primarily what I drink, I figured I would partake. They had Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR) for 50 cents, Slim Jims for a quarter, unlimited peanuts (and even let you shell them on the floor), a quarters tournament, and people playing cards. It was like “beer game night” in the afternooon till 8 and it was a cool vibe in the typically crowded bar. I sat at the bar, per usual, and had a few cheapie beers (yes PBR are nasty, but at 50 cents each who am I to complain).

I heard the guy next to me say to the bartender he was from my home state, and decided to ask where specifically….He wasn’t from a city nearby, but we got to talking for a while. He was a very sexy 26 year old web and software wide-eyed developer with thoughts of moving out to the city and starting up his company here. He was from quite a small almost hick-ish town, so being tech savvy San Francisco was the place to be. He was staying with his sister for about 2 weeks now and is leaving for home on Tuesday

It was odd because there were the typical moments of silence where I fail at creating relative small talk, but he picked right up and brought up something else which we would talk about. He smoked (yuck), but we went out to the patio so he would smoke, and that is where we started making out. We went back inside for a while, and made out more right there at the bar…the bartender was like, “Did you guys just meet here?” I sheepishly replied yes. We were getting hungry so we decided to grab something to eat, but not before he modeled some sexy underwear for me at Ingenious.

Dinner was at a local sushi shop, and then we went back to his sisters place (which was out in Sunset….long drive) and he grabbed his weed. In the time he was here, he was able to pick up a marajuana card, and while I don’t smoke, I don’t mind if others want to. His sister was home, so we couldn’t play there, and my place was unavailable at the time….so we went to the first nearby place I could think of, Blow Buddies.

Here’s were the night becomes tricky….we go to Blow Buddies and on the way I am rubbing his cock, and we are making out at every stop light….he never gets hard. We go into Blow Buddies and go upstairs and he starts blowing me thru the glory hole. We go outside so he can smoke, then go into the maze outside and he finishes me off. He then apologizes and says he doesn’t think he can get hard as he was too drunk (and he was pretty drunk)….He had said earlier in the evening that he was only about 5 1/2″ anyway.

We start to head home, and he mentions that he has a girlfriend back home…Oh boy….then he (in this drunken bit of honesty) tells me that they were engaged but only b/c she was pregnant but miscarried. He apparently also told her that he was more into guys, and that their engagement was only for appearances, since he was from a small town and all….sigh.

Well I dropped him off at home and headed back home myself. It was a great evening till I had to start learning/worrying about all the drama that this hottie (and he was at least an 8.5/10) was telling me about. He texted me the next day, but I didn’t feel like hanging out again.

I did make it to The Bar on Sunday and it was packed. I went home and got on A4A and had sex with some cute bottom boy in NOMA….just what I needed after a weekend of drinking.

So, that was my weekend…what did you do this weekend?

Below is a screen grab of right now, 10:00am PST of how many pages of people are on A4A in the San Francisco area….52 pages (12 per page) works out to around 624 online at 10 AM. Last night, I hopped on A4A as I haven’t been on there in a while….started chatting with a few guys via email. Checking out some hot guys pics, etc.

BTW I just wanted to also mention, that unlike Manhunt, et al Adam4Adam is free. There is no fees involved, you just have to look at gay porn ads on the sidebar, which can be a bit funny while online at a Starbucks (unless you go to the Starbucks in The Castro, then you won’t be the only one on there).

I was talking to two cute 20 year old bois (one a bottom one a top) and ended up settling on the top, as I was not in the mood to drive all the way out to where the bottom was. Here’s the thing…and I really hate this about A LOT of the guys out here…they can’t play at their place. This guy had room mates he didn’t want to know (are all tops closeted?), and suggested having sex outside.

I was like umm no thank you, but then I was really horny, so I thought about it. I had just cleaned my car out, and it wouldn’t be the first time that I’ve had sex in the backseat of my car. I suggest that we can do it there, and he was all over that. I drive by where he lives, pick him up and we park somewhere quiet dark.

A little while later after some uncomfortable and cramped quarters we both ended up getting off and he was cute enough with a nice …well…

So, that being said, if you are looking for some fun in San Francisco, be it while on vacation from out of town, or you live here, Adam4Adam is a great site to check out, it’s free…and I will be sure to be on there more. Maybe we’ll even hook up….I’ll be somewhere ni the filter between 20 and 25

Turns out that isn’t always going to protect you 100% of the time. Sometimes things can be transmitted by touch…as I learned.

A little over a week or so ago, I went to get tested as I regularly do (as you should do). I felt like I would have clean bill of health, but even so it is always best to checkup every 3-6 months (if not more often if you can). They have rapid results for some of the tests, including HIV. My HIV results were negative as were all of my other rapid tests.

The other set of tests is determined by a urine sample, anal swab, and blood sample. The clinic I went to, and HIGHLY recommend to anyone in the San Francisco area, Magnet is a great facility and the people there were really informative and professional. When you leave, they tell you they won’t be calling you unless there is a positive test result.

Much to my shock, I got a call from a number that wasn’t in my phone….it was Magnet. I was at work and tried to be discrete about the call once they called. I got so scared and thought maybe they were just calling to say nothing was wrong……..

Well I was wrong…my worst fear was presenting itself to me. The told me what I had and that I should come in ASAP to get medication. They offer the medication for free, and I go right after work and pick it up. I talked to the counselor who explained how it can happen, and that I was fortunate that I didn’t have any symptoms.

I was diagnosed with chlamydia in my anus, which apparently can be spread by contact with an infected partner with their sexual organ. Turns out the fooling around before you throw on that condom where they are rubbing their cock against your hole can lead to the spread of STD’s….I am going to be sure to be extra careful from now on.

They gave me a set of 14 pills (doxycycline hyclate) to be taken 2x per day with food. Here is where I was scared…was this permanent? Would I be stuck with this my entire life? If it was just in my anus would I be forced to top all the time?

The counselor at Magnet was great in answering all of these questions. Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and others are consider the “common colds” of sexually active people. They are very easily cured and treatment is simple. You don’t always know you have it, and it is gone once you are finished with treatment.

Now you can get it again, so you do have to be sure to get tested regularly, and if you experience the symptoms, they can be quite painful and disgusting (I’ve been told and seen pics online researching this).

So, that is where I’ve been the past week. Tomorrow is my last day of treatment. I was put on as I like to call it “no bed” rest for a week…I haven’t been on Craigslist, A4A, Manhunt, or any other site in the past week. It has been good for me since I’m staying at the gym longer and catching up on sleep….but it also SUCKS!

Also, if you find out you have contracted an STD, you should contact any partners you have had since your last checkup; it is the responsible thing to do. Granted this is embarrassing, but you could also prevent the spreading of it to others that your ex partners come in contact with.

That being said….I will end the post as I titled it….Play safe, and get tested.

I know I posted before about Josh, but last night we hung out. He isn’t doing so well….he recently found out he has lymphoma cancer, his friend comitted suicide, and the gay couple he was staying with has pretty much kicked him out all within the past month. A lot to take in…over the past few nights we have been texting back and forth. He is apparently staying at a friends place right now, but she was out of town and couldn’t stay there last night, so I invited him over last night.

We had dinner and went back to my place. He was exhausted and we went to bed after talking for a little while. Because Josh is positive, I am very cautious if we play together….last night we didn’t (well we did jerk each other off at 4am when we both woke up).

I feel really bad for him though…he has been through a lot. Hopefully things will improve for him. I’m a bit sad today thinking about it.

BTW I have an update on Billy I might post later on as well…

We decide to go to the gym together….after he comes over to my place. Now he apparently works on a farm, so when he got here he wanted to take a shower. I had just taken one, otherwise I might of jumped in with him.

He comes out of the shower in just a towel, and we start making out. The towel drops to the floor and out comes a monster of a cock. He was certainly a show-er! This thing had to be at least 7 inches soft, and only got bigger as I worked on his cock with my mouth.

Now before he came over, I mentioned that I liked to bottom, and I did see his picture, but I didn’t anticipate the monster that he was packing.  He was gentle and began blowing me and got his fingers wet and began to play with my hole. Here’s a tip to any guy who is planning on bottoming, try to get some stimulation to the outside and on the inside by the other guy, or yourself if you have to before you just go at it….it makes the experience easier. 

By the time he grabbed the condom from the side of the bed and lube, I wasn’t as nervous, but I was still a bit on edge. This 9-10 inch thick cock was about to be inside of me. He was SOOO gentle, and started very slowly, working it in bit by bit till I was comfortable. I’ve also found that if you start off rough there is a bit of pain involved and it continues throughout the session. Working it in slowly allowing your muscles to adjust seems to help out.

By the time we were going at it, I was feeling no pain and only pleasure. We changed positions so many times, and it was amazing. He came inside of me (condom on of course, but I generally don’t like for a guy to do it with or without a condom just to be extra safe), and I came a few seconds later.

It was an amazing workout, and the workout hadn’t even begun. We cleaned up, and went over to the gym and had a great workout at the gym. He met a friend there and they were going out, otherwise I might of had him back for seconds.

Anyway, it was a great way to spend Friday night, and yes that is him in the picture. His tats were really sort of cool, and I am not into tats that much.

I should point out that I am not much of a dancer, and I don’t typically drink “gay” drinks, but I did have an Appletini last night (that ran me $9!) I’m also not much of a club guy, or bar for that matter. I had an okay time, but it is always a bit depressing sitting there drinking while your friend is out dancing. Not a single guy came up and talked to me, and I ended up spending most of the night on twitter (twitter.com/closetedgaysf).

I guess I should try to go more often so that I can get used to being there, but I really don’t like the depression of sitting alone all night drinking over priced drinks. I don’t see the fun in it…..but that’s what gay guys do here…go out to the clubs. If I am ever to meet someone to have my first boyfriend I have to start expanding my searching from just online only.

P.S. I did see one (top) guy who has been over to my place 2x now. We talked for maybe 3 minutes, and didn’t see each other the rest of the night. Wouldn’t mind hosting him at my place again

Thanks,

CG

These two are like a married couple who hate each other one week and can’t get enough of each other the next. In the end, they ultimately could end up together, but both of them are just too hot headed at times.

Well Billy even tried to set Mick and I up, and the first time we met we just sat and talked for hours. A few days later we went out for drinks, pool, and back to his place and slept together (yes like that). We haven’t seen each other much since, except at Billy’s party a few weeks ago.

Last night like I said before he told me he was falling for Billy again, which good for those two…Today Billy asks me out of the blue if I had been in a hot tub recently. First I think, is he trying to see if I want to go somewhere and hot tub. Secondly, I am thinking wtf did he hear some rumor that isn’t true about me? What was going on? I tried to ask him why he asked, and then I remembered that Mick has a hut tub.

Okay, so I go to Mick and am like (via text all of this happens), why does Billy think we hot-tubbed together? He says that Billy doesn’t….and procedes to ask Billy why I would ask something like that.

This threw Billy off the deep end…and for what? I was just trying to find out the nature of the question. He out of no where sends me these texts:

Why the fuck did you say anything to mick? God…

Ive asked you before to keep what we talk about between us. I cant trust you anymore

Um….I was a bit thrown that he would get so upset about me asking Mick (the only person I know in California with a hot tub) why in the world Billy is asking about hot tubs….

Now Billy has said that he will never send me a message again. That’s it? The only real friend I’ve made so far here won’t ever talk to me b/c I wanted to know what was up with the hot tub ? I just can’t stand gay guys sometimes…the tiniest thing sets them off.

Mick assures me that Billy will come around, but if he doesn’t in a few days, I don’t know what I am going to do…I literally was almost in tears today (great now I sound like one of the same type of guys  I am writing about) but it is very difficult to make friends for me, and to have it all gone over some innocent thing….it really huts.

That being said, I got an email from a guy I emailed nearly 3 weeks ago last night. Ironically I was already on the way to a trick who was a bottom, and it is rare that I get to top, so I figured this guy could wait an hour or so. When I was done (and he was REALLY tight), I emailed this guy back after the number he emailed didn’t work.

It was a simple typo (which was really good to hear because that meant it wasn’t some form email he was replying to people with) and he sent me his home line and cell number. I called him and we talked for a while. I made it home and he asked if I wanted to hang out sometime. I said I was free tonight… He was said he was a bit stoned, but would be up for hanging out if we wanted to….uh oh…not another stoner.

Here is where I am not telling you the whole story….below is his picture…one of many he sent.

He could of been the leader of an entire drug cartel, but with that body there was no way I was saying no. So I got his address, and it was a good 20 minute drive. I headed out. Turned out when I got there that I was a bit confused with what he said, and we couldn’t play at his place, and he thought I was there to pick him up….6 pack abs….okay whatever I don’t care.

When I saw him, he was even more in shape and ripped then the picture. Tall, short hair, cute jeans jacket cutoff….faint. He got in my car and we headed back to my place. I didn’t even notice the backpack he had with him till later in the evening.

We got home and talked all the way there. Once we got home we hopped into bed and talked for a while longer till he said, “So you wanna make out?” HELL YES! Then he does something amazing, he asks if I want him to brush his teeth so I don’t taste the smoke (b/c he smokes cigs and weed). OMG hot and considerate? He brushed his teeth and we made out with little taste of smoke.

Oh, here’s where I mention that he had Trojan XL condoms with him….and they were tight on him. I licked and kissed nearly every inch of his body. Feeling those rock hard abs was amazing. Things progressed as they normally do in bed, and I asked as he was having trouble with the size of the condoms if he was clean.

HE WASN’T!

Yikes, red flag! He said he was HIV positive and had just found out 3 months ago. Poor kid 22 years old, amazingly hot and now has this hanging over him for the rest of his life. Well I always play safe, and made sure he was able to get the condom on properly, and well….

Afterwards he wanted to smoke, and asked if I could bring out a blanket as it was cold outside at round 2:30am when we were finished. We both snuggled under the blanket rubbing each other while he smoked. It was really amazing. He kept saying how cute I was and how he wanted a regular thing, and how the first time is always awkward, but as we get to know each other more it will become even more relaxed and enjoyable.

We went back inside and back into bed. He spent the night and I ran him home in the morning. We talked about our plans for the week, and we are both free Saturday night. Made plans to have him spend the night then, and have some more fun, but also hang out and get to know each other a little more.

We kissed for what seemed like an eternity as I dropped him off (which was a good 10 minutes at least).

We will see what happens Saturday. Billy is dumbfounded and told me he has never had a guy with a body like that.  Billy immediadetly asked if he was into a 3-way, and since Billy is having a pot luck Saturday night (he just told me about it today) this new boy and myself might go together and ask him there.

Well that is the end of the story of one of the greatest nights of my life. BTW my room mate this morning said I was being a little too loud last night. I should of told him that he should try being quiet when a dick in an XL condom gives him a good deep dicking (My room mate is straight and probably didn’t know till last night that I am gay). Ironically I thought we were quite quiet, especially considering how loud “Across the street guy” likes to be.

I can’t get enough of the tv show Weeds, but when it comes to the plant it self, well I am just not a fan. I’ve pretty much been “straight edge” (sorry for the pun) my entire life. I’ve never smoked, taken any drugs, or even excessively drank. I’m not even into poppers (they smell nasty), or any of the other recreation type drugs or activities that most a lot of gay guys are into.

I also haven’t ever really fooled around with a guy who has been smoking out, until this weekend. The guy was really beautiful in his pictures, as one of them is seen below, but his entire house was messy and smelled of pot. His bed was a few blankets on the floor of his room, and as much as he/we tried he couldn’t get his limp uncut floppy dick to do anything.

He blew me and I blasted a load in his face, and I guess he jerked off while blowing me b/c he did manage to cum, but I never saw him hard once. The worst part was his breath.  It was HORRIBLE. He wanted to kiss and make out for a while and after a few seconds, let alone a few minutes I was totally turned off and repulsed.

I thought I would post an excerpt of his reply to my ad, as I found the part in bold quite funny after the fact.

im 24, 6′2″ tall, 165 lbs, athletic build, brown hair, and have a rock hard 8 inch uncut cock…im pretty vers, and im really horny…im into sucking, fucking, j/o, making out, and pretty much anything within reason…heres some pics…hit me up if your interested…

It is too bad it didn’t work out, because as his body is in no where the condition it looks like in the picture, he still was cute enough. I just couldn’t deal with the smell and horrible taste, yuck.

First I met him at the theater, and he got out of his car. He was not really much how he described himself, which lead me to finally understand the reason he “only had 1 picture.”

Here is a not to guys new to the world of hooking up/dating/etc online….ALL guys have more then one picture and if they say they don’t they are either A) really closeted and a nervous Nancy who somehow thinks you might know someone who knows someone who knows him or B) lying out their ass.

The guys in category A will typically use the keyword “discrete” among others. Like I was saying, when I saw him, I was immediately turned off. I was already at the theater, and there was no backing out now, so I decided to continue, but I hoped that he wouldn’t try anything. We saw Juno, and the movie was pretty good. The crowd on the other hand was terrible. There were about 15 teenage girls in the back row (one row behind us) that would not stop cackling the entire movie. Also, there was a women in her late 40’s with a gentleman who also talked nearly the entire movie.

I got up three times, the first to literally walk up there and tell the girls to, “SHUT UP!” The second and third I told management (or what seemed to be) that they needed to shut these hens up. No one ever came in to confront them, and I ended walking away with 4 free passes after the movie for my trouble.

Afterwards his dad called and he had to run off, which was perfectly fine with me, since I really didn’t want to spend any more time with him.

After that I hopped online and met up with a guy who lives a block and a half away from me. He came over and I can honestly say that I have never been fucked that long, and well ever. I have been fucked longer once when I first moved to the city, this guy with a HUGE 9 inch cock plowed my ass for what seemed like forever. Coincidently, that 9-incher guy literally said afterwards, “I thought I would properly welcome you to San Francisco.” Oh boy did he. The 1 1/2 block away guy and I talked for a while before and afterwards, so hopefully he will be back over for seconds. And yes the pics above and below this part of this post are the guy from just down the street.

That was around (let me check my Twitter for verification) 10pm that he came over. We then emailed for a while afterwards on email as well. I was cruising around CL after that and ended up talking with about 6 people at the same time…two of which had 2 guys there that wanted to fool around.

Billy, you may remember him from my Twitter posts, spent the night over my place in my bed about a week ago. He had just come back from a sex party outside of the city, and didn’t feel much like fooling around any more. His boyfriend got back into the country Friday after being gone for a while, so he has been “busy” the past few days. Anyway, Billy and I have become somewhat of friends. It is great to have someone to talk about my experiences, etc with.

He told me about one of the group of 2 guys. He said that one was a complete ass, and didn’t know much about the other. These were the 2 guys I was about to have over….so I decided against it. This really cute bottom boi decided to stop over after going to see another guy. He called me before and after the other guy, which lasted all of maybe 10 minutes.

He then drove over to my place and we went for about 2 hours. He said it well worth the drive and very sensual. We certainly had a good time, and he was right, it was very sensual. He really enjoyed having his ear lobe sucked…drove him completely wild. BTW that is him in the picture to the left.

He event texted me all the way home about how great of a time he had, etc. It is rare that I get to top, but I really enjoy it when I get the chance. He made mention of a next time, so we will see. I really enjoyed him, but he does have a nearly beard now, which I wasn’t so keen on.

Well that is how my first date when, and the hours following it. No hooking up on Sunday I was too busy with other things. I just emailed the guy down the road a little bit ago to see what his plans are like tonight….;-)

P.S. Always use condoms when engaging in sexual intercourse, I do.

As you might of noticed from the title of the site here, I am still in the closet to most of the people in my life. My family, friends, co-workers all are pretty much in the dark about me. I am hoping that this site is a way for me to be able to express myself and say the things that I want to say, but am too afraid to with the people I know. I am leaving the comments wide open right now (unless there is serious abuse) and I openly welcome any comments you have or stories you would like to share.

I am not your typical gay guy. I am pretty straight acting, and don’t have that cookie cutter gay look either. To be perfectly honest, I am bi. I enjoy women and who knows I would love to get married one day, but it just seems so much easier with guys.

(As you may notice I tend to venture off topic quickly…although I have never been diagnosed with ADD)

Like I said, I am not a super skinny, short hair’d typical gay guy. I have struggled with my weight my entire life, but never been obese or really overweight. I could stand to lose a few pounds, as I am sure we all could. I guess my weight has been an issue for me being gay as well….I am totally not attracted to older, fat, or ugly guys. Sort of ironic since I am packing on a few extra pounds. I also think that my weight issue is more in my head then anything else. No one I know calls me fat and tries to say that I’m crazy when I say so. That being said, I think the max “US Government” weight for my height maxes out at 175, and I am around 190-200.  I hope to join a gym as a New Year’s resolution, and stick to it.

Alright enough about that. I hope to be able to tell you about my experiences, get suggestions on what I should do in certain situations, and learn to be more free with my sexuality. I think this post is a bit long, so I will save more for the next time.

Oh btw, I just posted this on Craigslist (lots more on CL, Adam4Adam, and ManHunt in future posts) here in San Francisco:

Not sure exactly how I should word this, but I recently moved into the bay area and am looking for someone to hang out with. I recently started to hang out with a few gay friends before I moved out here, and would really like to make some in the area.

I work A LOT, but would like someone to be able to hang out with, grab a drink, talk about things that I can’t really discuss with others in my life. I am sort of closeted, but am working on that. Would like to find someone who understands where I am at, and can maybe offer advice, or who possibly is going through the same thing.

This isn’t really a “hook-up” type thing, although just to be honest that is all I really have done with guys…never had a boyfriend, but I would like to.

I’m not sure that this is the right place to post this, but I am just not that social when it comes to the club/bar scene, and everyone there seems so stuck up anyway. I want to meet someone and get to know them for who they are, not who they are on Friday and Saturday nights.

I’m on my phone all the time, so someone who likes to text message or email a lot would be cool, since I am always in communication that way.

A little about me quickly, I’m in my mid 20’s (and would really prefer someone around my age aka not over 30). I enjoy movies, going out and buying things, gadgets,  etc. I’m not really into the club scene, but I think that if I had someone to go with I would be a little bit more comfortable. I don’t do any drugs/smoke and am clean/HIV-. I do like to drink socially, but not excessively.

I also was going to join a gym, probably 24Hour Fitness, so if you had a membership that would be cool as well, and give us something to go do together and maintain accountability for the other one going.

That being said, I hope that I can find a few friends to be able to chill with and get to know better. Thanks