Clover Lane

Summer Reading Plans

2013-05-23T00:00:00.000-04:00

I've been so busy lately, and Janey has been in quick-nursing mode, that I haven't read much. But summer is the best time to catch up, and I have big plans. For all of us.

Isaac and I made a deal. Or actually I told him my plan and said this is what you are doing buddy. I am forcing him to read. I get so freaked out about this younger generation and how little they read-not school book reading, but fun, "I'm bored and there is nothing else to do" reading. It's easier to watch stupid videos on YouTube that rot your brain out then it is to get into a book. But books teach so much-and not just the classics-but just good books. So I am assigning a book a week and if he doesn't finish, I am holding all of his technology ransom until he is. He's already finished the first in 5 days and really liked it.

Defending Jacob by William Landay

It's good-I read it awhile ago. It's sort of a crime/lawyer/bully/cyber novel, something I don't usually read but really enjoyed. Since the main character is a teen I thought it would help to reel him in and establish some trust in my "I promise you won't feel tortured" book choices.

Half Broke Horses: A True-Life Novel

I just finished this for the second time and it's next on his list. It's so quick and easy and full of hard-knock adventure.

Here's a few that have been on my "read me soon" list for a long time.

I don't have to worry about Abbey-she is like me and can't get enough of books. I know it's so nice for her to just to read what she wants instead of what she has to for school, and she already has a towering stack in her room.

Andrew is the same-I just can't keep up with him and we have to make some sort of list so I can get to the library quicker than he is finished with the next one. Right now he is reading Cold Cereal by Adam Rex. I reserved a few other Adam Rex novels for him in case he is interested.

And Janey loves her books...honestly they are her favorite things to play with. :)

I still have trouble getting my Matthew books he likes. So much science fiction/fantasty for this age and I think he needs some variety. I am going to comb through this plethora of suggestions again you all left me and see if we can get a big stack on his shelf for the summer.
(Here are some young teen girl book suggestions if you need some.)

One day I'd love to compile big book suggestion lists per age group on my blog for all of us moms who want our children reading...one day. Right now I just have to keep up with the laundry. Meanwhile I'll keep you posted as we find the great ones.

P.S. It's funny that there are so many comments on Gone Girl this morning, as I just started it last night, and read a few chapters and thought, "What the heck?" Yuck! That's a no-go, best-seller or not...instead I started a book called The Light Between Oceans and I'm loving it.

Bumps and Bruises

2013-05-22T00:00:00.001-04:00

Patrick is learning to ride without training wheels on the front lawn, which has a little downward pitch to make it easier. I know by now that there are going to be tears and bumps and bruises but big proud moments of beaming eyes looking up at me and saying "I did it!" Then practice and practice and practice.

I was thinking of how some days being a mother seems so difficult...it seems like everything is going wrong, or things weight heavily on my mind. And other days, it seems like a piece of cake-the whole day flows pretty darn smoothly-gosh I love those days.

As kids grow older, parenting becomes so much more mental work then physical work. And the emotions are there all the way through. Pride, disappointment, anger, happiness, frustration, joy. It's up and down and back and forth. I was sharing some things with my mom the other day-she is the best to vent to-do you want her number? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. (I just heard my mom gasp from miles away.) But she helps me so much. I realized that sometimes I just need to acknowledge to myself that what I am doing-parenting six children-three teenagers all in different stages of teenage-hood, two active boys, a little baby still nursing and up at night and in need of constant care-is sometimes difficult, but HECK, I'm doing it. I'm doing it all day and all night. It's not always going to be easy, it's not always going to have that nice downhill pitch where I can cruise along...there are going to be bumps and bruises and then the beaming eyes (those moments when you know they "get" the lesson you wanted them to learn!) make it all worth it.

Baby Love

2013-05-21T00:00:00.000-04:00

Oh, Janey is the sweetest little baby in the world and brightens every day. I'm sure every mother thinks the same thing, because what is there not to adore about these soft, cuddly, innocent, bright-eyed humans that look at their moms with adoring eyes and always have a smile? Patrick asked me at the dinner table the other day if I could have 'five-ten-thousand' babies, would I? I said yes, but not all at once, and only every two or three years to space them apart, and if I could stay the same age and never grow old so I'd have the energy for them. That's a lot of "ifs" but by golly, I mean it. He told me he's going to have that many babies. I wonder if his future wife knows of his big plans. :)

I am trying to not full-on-panic about the fact that her first birthday is 3 months away. It's almost a punched-in-the-gut feeling when I think about it. I know my baby will always be my baby, but when babies turn one they look different-they get longer and leaner and wear shoes and start to walk, and they don't look like "wrapped up in a blanket" babies anymore, and oh boy, I am not ready for her to be a toddler as much as I love that stage also. I wish I could double time my life right now...like make every day last twice as long. I think I might be crazy. But I'm ok with crazy, especially when it comes to this part of my life-it's my whole life-being a mom, and I love it so much. I was hooked when Isaac, my first, was born, and I wish it could just go on forever and ever and ever-babies in my home forever, shining their little light to all.

Encouragement For The Week

2013-05-20T00:00:00.000-04:00

A Spring Walk

2013-05-17T00:00:00.000-04:00

It is purple and pink and green all over here, and it smells so good-the lilacs are in full bloom.

I could stand at the end of this driveway for a full hour just sniffing in the smell.

Our neighbors down the street raise chickens. They are always wandering the yard and crossing the street and I love it.

Janey isn't exactly sure how she feels about sitting in tickly green grass. She's trying hard to get used to it, can you tell? But it's a no-go.

The stroller is more her cup of tea.

A No-Recipe Meal: Meatball Subs

2013-05-16T00:00:00.001-04:00

This a favorite of ours and so easy. It's great for those evenings when schedules get crazy and kids are eating at different times.

You need:
1 jar of your favorite spaghetti sauce
meatballs (I buy the frozen bagged kind)
mozzarella cheese
sub buns

Pour the jar of sauce into a saucepan and heat up the meatballs on low till they are heated through. Place as many meatballs as you like onto the bread (I estimate about 6 small meatballs per person), along with some sauce. I use anything from a fresh French bread loaf to (desperation) hotdog buns. Sometimes I toast the buns if they are too soft so they don't get soggy.

Top with mozzarella cheese. Leaving the sandwiches opened, I put them in a 350 degree oven till the mozzarella cheese is melted and browning just a bit and they are all warm and toasty.

Distracted Parenting

2013-05-14T00:00:00.000-04:00

Dr. Neal Halfon, a physician who directs the UCLA Center for Healthier Children, Families, and Communities, refers to “parental benign neglect.” One example involved an 18-month-old and his parents:
“‘Their son seemed happy, active and engaged, clearly enjoying time and pizza with his parents. … At the end of dinner, Mom got up to run an errand, handing over care to Dad.’

“Dad … started reading phone messages while the toddler struggled to get his attention by throwing bits of pizza crust. Then the dad re-engaged, facing his child and playing with him. Soon, though, he substituted watching a video on his phone with the toddler until his wife returned.

“… [Dr.] Halfon observed a dimming of the child’s internal light, a lessening of the connection between parent and child.”⁵

-from a talk by Rosemary M. Wixom called The Words We Speak

I've been thinking so much lately about the benefits of growing up in certain generations. We received a Newsweek magazine recently that outlined them each generation from the 1900's up-the Baby Boomers, Generation X, etc. I don't know if I "believe" the little parcels of traits they tuck us all into, but I do notice and worry (because that's what mothers do best) about some of the drawbacks of being a child today. I know my children are so lucky in so many ways, but I also know that as a mom, I can be so much more distracted and busy if I don't make a deliberate effort to be present, in the moment, with my children.

I am old enough to remember a time as a mother when there were no cell phones, when a computer wasn't a necessary addition to the household. I know things have changed attention-wise because of all this technology at our fingertips. If I go back far enough, I remember being raised with a phone that was attached to the wall. Which meant if my mom needed to talk to someone, the only multi-tasking she could be doing was within 3 feet of the outer wall of our kitchen. Do you know what that meant? With five children, there wasn't a lot of multi-tasking while on the phone! Phone calls were generally quick, and had a purpose. Even if "catching up" was the purpose, we knew that we had to wait 5 or 10 minutes, quietly, and my mom would be "back".

There are plenty of good things that technology brings us moms-things that make our life easier, but I can't help but want to flip some of what we might think and are told are "benefits" and examine them for what they really are most of the time-distractions, causes of frenetic busy-ness, breaks in concentration, information overload in our brains and most of all, a tendency to not be present for many little minutes that add up quickly in our children's eyes.

Have you ever been talking to someone who you can tell is thinking about the text they just received or sent? Or having a conversation or meal with someone who is constantly answering their cell phone? We all know it's rude, but how often do we do this to our children-sometimes they don't have the words to say, "Mom, please look at me! Mom, please pay attention? Mom, are you listening?"

When I read the little excerpt from the talk above, the words "dimming of the child's internal light" really struck me hard. How often does that little light dim? How long till that light goes out because children give up fighting for our attention? How often are we distracted and pulled in different, more trivial directions, when we should be focusing our attention on our children?

I was at an indoor soccer game with Patrick this winter...a little league that I usually would pass over, but I knew this little boy needed to get out and run once a week. The first time I went I sat and watched him play-he was so darn cute, and he said to me before, "Mom, watch me, and cheer me on OK?" He reminded me so much of Isaac, 13 years ago, at that very same age-a smile on his face, having the time of his life. I noticed so many little things that made me hunt for a tissue in my pocket-this sweet sweet little boy and all his nuances that only a mother would see. I've said it a million times before-they will be gone before you know it and there are no do-overs.

When I happened to glance around at the other parents way more than half of them were on their phones. It made me so sad-these kids KNOW you are here, they want you to watch them, they ARE looking for you, and in that moment they look up, do you want them to see you on some dumb phone? What conversation/game/internet search could be important enough? Do you all realize how fast time flies? Don't you want to imprint that sweet little face in your memory forever?

But the next time I took Patrick, Abbey was driving to a lacrosse game in a neighboring town-she texted me to ask me how to get there. Matthew was home alone and had a question about something and called. Isaac texted me from school to ask about plans for coming home for the weekend. If I had walked in on myself during that soccer session, I would have been just as guilty of that inattention as the group of parents last week.

It made me think of how often we are pulled away from our children-sometimes for good reasons, but those reasons wouldn't have even existed 20 years ago. If I didn't have a cell phone, Abbey would have had to ask me the night before, or called a friend, Matthew would have figured out the answer to his question on his own, or would not have been home alone because he couldn't contact me, and I would have had one weekly phone call (remember when dorms had one phone everyone had to share out in the hall?) and we would have talked about it then-definite plans would have been made and settled without little tidbits of communication back and forth. I see pre-planning, the development of independence and good decision making...benefits to being un-plugged and un-available.

I can make up (I'm sure we all can) hundreds of excuses for our inattention, but I am trying to decipher, more than ever, if any of them are valid. I think we as parents must really really flip these excuses over and examine them for what they really are-mostly excuses.

I do know this. Kids behave better when they get our attention. Kids pay better attention themselves, when they get attention. If you want kids to listen to you, listen to them. All kids want to be good. They don't want to be treated like pests. They don't want to feel less important than some device in our hand or some keyboard or screen. Kids don't need to be the center of our world and feel it all revolves around them, but they do need to feel that they are just as important as anything else in our lives.

The way you show someone they are important is too look them in the eye and pay attention...everyone knows, even the littlest child, when we are truly present.

Encouragement for the Week

2013-05-13T00:00:00.000-04:00

A Mother's Day In Photos

2013-05-12T00:00:00.000-04:00

Write it on your heart that every day

is the best day of the year.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happy Mother's Day!

More Than Downton

2013-05-09T00:00:00.000-04:00

It's always a sad day when the last episode of Downton airs, but don't despair. PBS is my new favorite channel. Is it because I am creeping up on middle-agedom or is it because they've really stepped up their game?

I've been watching Call The Midwife since the beginning and love it, just as I loved Jennifer Worth's books. It's a great series and almost always makes me cry. Riding a bike through the streets, helping mothers and babies-what can be more awesome than that? Not to dismiss the heartbreak or the hard work of course, but it's a pretty neat job. I love that these women receive such good care. So many months of home visits to make sure the mother is supported and the baby is thriving, so ingrained in the community and aware of the needs.

I'm also watching Upstairs/Downstairs but I think I'm just watching reruns-I have no idea what season or episode, but it's good.

And one more-Mr. Selfridge. Something about Jeremy Piven really bugs me (is it over-acting? the way he pronounces/emphasizes certain words so robustly gets old? maybe that's how Mr. Selfridge really talked and Jeremy is just being a good actor?) but I love all the other characters and story lines.

Does this post make me seem like I sit around on my duff all day and watch TV? I DVR them and watch them when I'm nursing in small increments all week long. Not that I need to explain, but it makes me feel better to.

Janey Pants On The Move

2013-05-08T00:00:00.001-04:00

Abbey looked at Janey the other day and said, "Mom, she's gotten so much older looking all of a sudden!" It does seem like that. She's grown a little more hair, she's been sitting up so well on her own, and starting to get on all fours. She can definitely get herself around a room. She has six teeth!

Sometimes she looks like a little doll to me, with her blonde hair and big blue eyes and dimples.

She has such a quiet, happy personality, and is just a big bundle of joy for our household.

Babies are such a gift from God and I'm so so thankful for each one of mine.

Lately, I've had a few questions about baby sleep issues in my email inbox. Here's what I do:

Never let my babies cry. I have strong feelings about crying babies, as in: they should have their mommy's comfort to make them stop asap.

Sleep with them at night...they've always woke up, some more than others, to nurse through the first year.

During the day, for naps, they slept in a crib.

Try to be as consistent as possible about when/where/how I get them to sleep-the more consistent the easier my life is, and theirs too, and the better they will sleep.

Use white noise (a fan) to block out all the household sounds.

Rock and/or nurse them to sleep. (For some nursing to sleep would work, others I have to make sure they get the burps out or they'd wake up right after I'd put them down. Each of my babies had their own little schedule and sleep needs....it's part of their personalities...)

Remember that babies wake more when they have some new achievement on the horizon. It's exciting and their brains are excited for them.

Stop caring if I'm doing this "right" or "wrong", stopped trying to find the magic answer in a book written by some male pediatrician who probably never woke up once with a baby anyways, or had their brain rattle with hormones when their baby cried, or being envious of parents who bragged about their babies sleeping 15 hours through the night and taking two 3 hour naps because I don't believe that happens anyways or even should happen anyways.

Sometimes it is hard.

Babies are not always easy.

Often I am tired.

I am used to being tired.

That's what under-eye cover up and chocolate is for.

Life is short.

Babies grow fast.

One day they will be teenagers who sleep more hours than they are awake.

Weekend Work

2013-05-07T00:00:00.000-04:00

This last weekend was beautiful and I was determined to get our yard in order. Which is no easy feat, but the sooner this huge job is completed the sooner we can enjoy my most favorite season of the year...summer!

Remember Isaac's welcome home from college gift? He'll be happy to know that he doesn't have to touch this chore-his least favorite thing to do ever. Probably besides writing papers and studying for exams which he was doing instead.

I made a big old list, and recruited helpers. (Recruited is a nice word but it was more like "we are doing yard work all weekend and everyone has to help" ...groaning, whining, complaining, sounds emitting like there are legs getting chopped off with anesthetic...and that's just Jeff :).

Here's my list:

If Janey wasn't sleeping (monitor blasting in window), one of the jobs up for bid was to push her up and down the driveway in the stroller. It was either that or spread mulch.

You'd be stupid not to pick sweet Janey-watching for heaven's sake.

This year I cut the beds deeper and planted hot pink impatiens all along the front of the house. I threw those babies in faster than you can say "these will all get trampled with some sort of ball why am I setting myself up for failure." I am diligent about watering this spring/summer all the work should be worth it...till the poor things get trampled with a ball.

My favorite tree...which is so old, and loses more and more branches every year, but I can't bear to part with her presence. If only she can hang on just a little longer.

She's been so kind to us over the years...her kindness could have possible contributed to her branch-sparsity.

So last fall I took down the ivy climbing up the doorway. I don't know why I did that, it just felt good to rip it down and clean things up. But then I saw this photo from last year and the ivy looks so pretty.

So ivy or no ivy this year?

What do you think?

No ivy...

Ivy....

I'm thinking ivy...and ivy is thinking ivy, because I've already noticed it creeping up the brick wall.

Encouragement For The Week

2013-05-06T00:00:00.000-04:00

For Isaac

2013-05-03T00:00:00.000-04:00

Can't wait till you get home Isaac! :)
Love you and miss you,
Mom

Ordinary Days

2013-05-02T00:00:00.000-04:00

A little further in my kitchen spring cleaning. It's slow going.

Abbey was asked to prom. I offered my old formal dresses to her at no charge, they fit and everything!, and she still turned them down. Picky, picky, picky.

Here I am in the white one, gloves and all. (That probably had something to do with Abbey not wanting to wear the white dress-I lost the gloves and really, they make the outfit don't you think?) Have I ever told you my prom stories? Oh, they're good. Really good. In the horrifying way that makes me laugh now, but not so much back then.

While we are talking dresses...I am trying to control myself over baby girl summer dresses but oh boy, it isn't easy. I LOVE little girl dresses. Janey and I share a closet presently so that helps a little. And really, how many dresses does a baby need? But it is SO nice to just buy her clothes with no feedback from her whatsoever. We moms of daughters all know that doesn't last very long! I say, "Janey look at this one with the sail boats, isn't it just so sweet? Don't you think you need it for church?" And she smiles at me, and I take that as a yes.

How's that for a gray sky?

My mom and dad came up and visited for a day. My Dad cut down a tree for me, trimmed another, and my mom talked with Janey and I for hours. It was great.

Just in case anyone is interested-I am probably weird to be excited about this but this weekend Persnickety Prints is having their semi-annual sale-I've been waiting patiently for this sale to print out all my 2012 pages. (The 12x12 size is $1.49 on sale and you can just buy the credits and use them any time which means NO pressure to print right away which is more than pretty good.) I love getting them in the mail! The years go so fast and these darn kids keep growing.

A few funny things I heard this week that I don't want to forget:

Patrick came to me and in a very concerned voice said, "Mom, my mouth wants food but my tummy hurts."

He also came to me after soccer practice and said in a very disappointed-sounding voice, "Guess what Mom? My soccer coach has a, has a, has a... mustache." Ever since he's been really little, Patrick has not been a fan of mustaches and beards in general, I have no idea why. But the completely dejected look on his face...like he waited all winter for this soccer season and now THIS has to happen-the whole season down the drain because of a dumb ol' mustache-cracked me up.

And Andrew asked me in the car out of the blue, "Mom, did you have to go to nursing school?" I knew right away he meant to learn how to "nurse" the babies-so cute what goes on in their little heads.

Mud Cups

2013-05-01T00:00:00.000-04:00

Oh, I hate making these things, but my kids love them. They are allowed to bring a snack for their classmates on their birthdays and when I ask them what they want me to make, in my head (and sometimes out loud) I say, "Please don't say mud cups, please don't say mud cups." But they usually do. I made them once for Isaac when he was little-I must have been in some overachieving sort of mood-and I've been stuck making them ever since. They ARE cute though. And the kids DO love them. And they require no baking and are relatively easy to whip up-just a little messy.

For about 30 mud cups you need:

6 large packages of instant chocolate pudding (the 5.9 oz size)

whole milk

Oreo cookies

gummy worms

clear plastic cups

spoons

Make all the chocolate pudding according to the directions and carefully pour desired amount into cups. Crush Oreo cookies and sprinkle on top.

Add a few gummy worms.

Intention in the Morning

2013-04-30T00:00:00.000-04:00

"It is my personal approach that creates the climate.

It is my daily mood that makes the weather...
I possess tremendous power to make a child's life miserable or joyous.

I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal.

In all situations, it is my response that decides whether the crisis will be escalated or

de-escalated and a child humanized or de-humanized."

Haim Ginott

Sometimes I forget how important it is to have a minute or two or three to think in the morning of what kind of mother I want to be today. If I start off without intention, without just a little time to remind myself of my purpose, I feel behind the ball and reactionary to every mood, issue, problem that crops up. If I preserve a moment to remind myself of the bigger picture-that I am here to teach, to set the spirit, to create a happy, calm, patient, kind, loving environment, I can carry it through the day.

I think children feel the "color" of their surroundings more than adults. And children are at our mercy really...they look to us and follow our lead and example. I can make or break a day for them. Every moment is a teachable moment. I'm human for sure, and often tired, and more than ever feeling a little scattered, but those precious moments in the morning can center me and help me create deliberate mothering. I have to be better at making them a priority.

Encouragement For The Week

2013-04-29T00:00:00.000-04:00

Ordinary Days

2013-04-25T00:00:00.000-04:00

Janey found this stuffed bunny in her Easter basket. Have you heard of Jellycats? They are the softest stuffed animals I've ever felt and the Easter Bunny could not resist as much as she tried to. Apparently there is a whole collection available and really who needs more stuffed animals, but still. But STILL! I had a white stuffed bunny collection when I was little and that became Abbey's white stuffed bunny collection and now of course Janey has the same love (parental inflicted of course) of white stuffed bunnies.

It took a day to transition from basketball to baseball in our house. I had basketball burn out after the tournament so I was ready....ready for our big old plastic hoop to go down in the basement for awhile and stop cluttering up my living room. Now it's just the pillow-bases and at least they match.

Curtains=capes.

The boys came home from our neighbor's house all excited about the marble jar and it's potential. I agreed to it-good deeds and good behavior lands you a marble. (Found at Dollar Tree in the fake flower section.) When it's full it earns a trip to the toy store. So far so good. It sure makes bedtime easy.

Patrick's pet ant. Remind me that this is as far as I'm going with pets for the rest of my life.

A No-Recipe Meal- BBQ Chicken

2013-04-24T00:00:00.000-04:00

Last week I brought you Easy Pork-Chops. This is another one of those no-recipe, whip-together family dinners.

This week I bring you BBQ grilled chicken-in strips or in a sandwich.

I cut boneless, skinless chicken breasts into bun-size pieces and strips. I marinated them in bottled BBQ sauce all day. (I usually do as much meal-time fixing in the morning as I can manage.)

I also made some hard-boiled eggs and refrigerated them for a salad later.

About 30 minutes before dinner, I cut up some new potatoes and put 1/4 stick of butter in a baking pan with them. I sprinkled with garlic salt. 400 degrees for 30 minutes. I stir a few times.

At dinner time, I threw the chicken on the grill. I scavenged my fridge for salad fixings. I almost always have Romaine hearts in my fridge and I happened to find some spinach, a cucumber, onion, and tomatoes. I put some of the hard-boiled eggs and some grated cheese on top for a Chef's Salad. I love homemade dressing and so I made this Greek Dressing. It's so easy. I don't even follow the recipe sometimes when I'm feeling lazy-I just use oil and vinegar as a base, and a little mustard, basil, and oregano. It always turns out delicious. Oh, and croutons. A salad isn't a salad without croutons.

Some of us like chicken sandwiches:

Some of us like it plain dipped in ketchup or BBQ sauce:

The best part: I had leftover salad and chicken for lunch for Abbey and I the next day.

Dear House

2013-04-23T00:00:00.001-04:00

Dear House-
I know I've been hard on you this winter. But you've suffocated me with your walls, and frustrated me to no end with your various flaws. I've tried to take good care of you, but you know, because of your age, you are high maintenance. As soon as I help you present yourself well in one area, hunting down someone I can trust you with, and then shelling out our hard-earned cash, up crops another issue. You've been acting sort of diva-ish all winter long and diva-ish does not fly around here, you know that.

The leak in the kitchen window was the final straw-sometimes you push me to far. I started looking around, I'll admit it. I started looking around to see what else is out there. Other houses started looking more attractive to me. New houses without your issues and baggage. Houses that have mudrooms in particular and with enough bedrooms to give us a little more room to spread out. Houses that don't leak when it rains, distribute heat evenly throughout, and whose paint in fresh and unflawed. Baseboards, bright white and undented. You know I can't resist me a shiny baseboard! A house where we know what we are getting right upfront, with no secrets behind the walls and under the floors.

I've tried to work with you this winter. I've had people in-people who know what they are talking about, to try to change you. You always put up a fight when it comes to change. You can't support this addition or that, you complicate my exciting plans till I just throw up my hands in defeat. You are stubborn and you always have to get your way.

I went for a walk last week, in the evening and as I rounded the corner home, I saw you glowing. You looked like home to me, not just a house. I was still mad at you though, honestly, I'll tell you-half the reason I went on a walk was to get away from you, and gawk at some of the other homes in the neighborhood. But then when I saw you, standing there, looking so-well, homey and warm and sweet, filled with my life as I know it-I felt a pang of guilt at my betrayal. I began to imagine leaving and well...my stomach hurt.

And then...and then. It's 80 degrees and sunny out one unusually warm day a week later. The baby naps, I scrub the floors. I throw open every single one of your windows. I take down your winter battens, and put up your screens. I pull up the rugs and dust you off. I polish and scrub.

I let the warm spring breeze in. If there is anything you are good at it, it's redeeming yourself to me once again. The way you circulate the air in the front and out the back is dreamy. The beautiful light from your big bay window fills the family room. Outside the ivy is climbing up the brick wall, and blossoms are bursting from your trees. Darn you!

You are not perfect. By far. You could use some improvement. I know though, that I can study your flaws, and look at your shortcomings or I can accept that I cannot change you-I loved you once just the way you were not too long ago-you are indeed old and stubborn and set in your ways, but you've got character. Lots of it. I know I've expected too much of you. Contentment is always a work in progress and I was weak this winter. I've slipped up a little and fallen for that old "the grass is always greener" adage. Forgive me for that.

So here's my plea- let's begin a new relationship. Keep the breeze coming, the paint sticking, and the rain outside. I'll do my best to see your bright side.

Respectfully Yours

Encouragement For The Week

2013-04-22T00:00:00.000-04:00

A No-Recipe Meal

2013-04-18T00:00:00.000-04:00

One time I was reading one of my favorite blogs and in a post the blogger listed the meals she fed her family for the week. The point of the post was sort of "I am not good at dinners, I never know what to make" but it was one of my favorite posts-because I got quite a few great ideas for those simple throw-together family meals-the kind we take for granted and 'think' we should be embarrassed by. Grilled cheese and soup, muffin pizzas-that sort of thing. I loved seeing what this other mother, halfway around the world, made for her family and not being overwhelmed by it. It's SO nice and such a relief today to not be overwhelmed isn't it?

I think the most important thing about family meals is eating them together-or with as many children as it is possible to gather in between soccer and lacrosse and play practice-and I'm always hunting high and low to find meals that everyone will at least try. Sometimes the simplest meals-the ones that I think to myself "this is so lame, it took no effort, Rachel or Paula or Ree or Giada would be horrified if they were spying in my window", the ones that are SO not blog worthy, the ones that don't even really need a recipe, are the ones that we moms might find the most helpful. Especially during certain stages of our lives-with a baby in the house, or when life gets really busy-those times when following complicated recipes, or heck, any sort of recipe, is just about impossible.

So here is one of those no recipe, easy meals, and I have the intention (you probably know how my intentions sometimes pan out) of sharing more.

Easy Pork Chops

I used boneless, thin cut pork loin, about one and a half pounds, or eight cutlets.

For the breading I have used the following:

seasoned breadcrumbs

Panko crumbs

Shake n Bake

Ritz crackers smashed

For this meal, I only had a little of the first three so I mixed them all up together.

I cracked 4 eggs in a bowl and dipped each pork loin in the egg, and then followed that with a dip into the breading (I needed about 3 cups). You can "shake" the pork loins in a bag but I like them heavily breaded so I really smoosh them into the crumbs on a plate.

I heat a large frying pan on high, with enough oil to cover just the surface of the pan. Any oil will do.

Arrange pork in the pan when hot.

It took me about 4 minutes on each side to cook through.

We had plain egg noodles with butter (always a favorite with the younger crowd) and a side of canned pears.

Well, some of us just ate pears.

What's That SMELL?

2013-04-17T00:00:00.000-04:00

The other day I looked high and low for the source of a terrible smell. I couldn't pinpoint it. It seemed to keep moving. In fact, it was. It was a certain five year old boy who doesn't like to wear socks with tennis shoes and the awful smell was radiating from the shoes on his feet!

I did some research and tried just about everything. Here's what worked for me.

First, I took two coffee filters and put about 2 TBS of baking soda in them. I twisted the tops and put them inside the shoes.

I also sprinkled a little baking soda in the inside of each shoe...just a little. I didn't want to embarrass the owner of these shoes by having puff balls of powder escaping during every step.

I put the shoes in a zip-lock bag and placed them in the freezer for a day and night.

That took about 75% of the odor away, but it was necessary to take it one step further. I told you it was bad!

We didn't give up.

I sprayed the insides and outsides with a pre-stain treater and washed them in hot water with Tide using the Delicate cycle. I was wary about washing because I've tried this before and ruined good tennis shoes...they can get all lumpy and out of sorts. The Delicate cycle was perfect.

When the washing was finished, I put a dryer sheet inside each shoe and stuffed balled up newspaper in them to dry them out. Have you ever done this? It works wonders for shoes of all kinds-especially for wet soccer cleats. The paper will absorb all the water and leave the shoes dry.

We set them out in the sunlight and waited a day and night till they dried.

It worked!

Rocking By The Window

2013-04-16T00:00:00.000-04:00

"A first child is your own best foot forward, and how you do cheer those little feet as they strike out.

You examine every turn of flesh for precocity, and crow it to the world.

But the last one: the baby who trails her scent like a flag of surrender through your life when there will be no more coming after--oh, that's love by a different name.

She is the babe you hold in your arms for an hour after she's gone to sleep. If you put her down in the crib, she might wake up changed and fly away.

So instead you rock by the window, drinking the light from her skin, breathing her exhaled dreams.

You heart bays to the double crescent moons of closed lashes on her cheeks. She's the one you can't put down."

.Barbara Kingsolver.

My friend Erin sent me that quote and I when I read it I immediately need to reach for some tissues. How can you not? It's so beautifully expressed-exactly how I feel about Janey.

The last two weeks have been fussy-fussy by Janey's standards which are pretty good standards. Lots of waking-quick naps-lots of nursing, lots of carrying around-me using one hand to make a sandwich, do the laundry, get dressed. I look at what I need to get done and can only look-which gets frustrating sometimes, but not many times. Years and years ago, it would have frustrated me so much more-now I think, "Oh what the heck, I'll get to it another day." I make schedules and lists, thinking it will help me "catch up" only to rip them down and pitch them days later. It doesn't matter. Really, it doesn't. Babies are so important-sure, there are other important things in life, but not much else. Not much else at all.

It's such a little minuscule bit of our lives that we have these little tiny ones-and such crucial years for them. Some say the most important years and I believe them. What can compare? If I live to 100-and I'm planning on it-that's six years for my each of my babies that I've spent nursing and shushing and bouncing-even if you doubled that to include the next intense year of baby care, it's about 10% of my life. 10% for my babies-to hold, to cuddle, to soothe, to love tenderly. I wouldn't trade that tiny bit-this precious gift of minutes and hours and days and months-for anything.

I learned quickly with my first, being amazed at how quickly a year, then another, and another-all eighteen of them-can come and go, that I want to do anything but rush this stage-or push it to the sidelines, or be frustrated by my inability to meet the demands of the outside world that is calling me away to do trivial things, or be distracted and occupied by life in general. I do not want to forget to cherish these sweet baby moments-while time flies.