Clover Lane

Slow Days

2012-05-17T00:45:00.034-04:00

Patrick and I headed to the park the other day to play baseball. That means we take turns pitching and hitting-thankfully mostly ME pitching and HIM hitting. The first time I hit, he "made" me run the bases (run for me right now means a fast walk) and then said, "Mom, why aren't you sliding? You have to slide!" It reminded me of the shin guard comment I got the other day and made me laugh. I said, "Patrick I can't slide, I have a baby in my tummy!" He looked at me like that was sort of a cop-out excuse.

Someone emailed me and asked me how I get everything done on my to-do lists and manage to not feel like I am going crazy. Sometimes I DON'T get everything done on my to-do list and it just keeps getting transferred on down the line of days, which is OK because I know it will get done eventually. And sometimes I DO feel like I am going crazy keeping up but I know I don't have to feel that way, and if I do consistently, I need to make changes in my life.

But I thought about the answer to that question and I've said it hundred times, but I feel best when I am ahead of the game, so I try really really hard to do that-to stay ahead of the game.

1. I try not to waste time. On this here computer, on too-long phone calls, or errands that aren't necessary.

2. I try to have a daily to-do list or schedule for the next day...that I make in the evening, NOT the morning when I almost feel like the day gets away from me if I don't start out with purpose. Even if that list includes tiny little things: Water plants. Take Patrick to the park. Call about Abbey's driver's ed. Plan dinner. Sometimes that list contains lots and lots of things, but I try to stay calm and work them into my day or week. When I anticipate a busy weekend (like lots of sporting events) or event (like a graduation party) coming up it helps me so much to co-ordinate things as far ahead as I possibly can.

3. I stay home as much as I can. I keep ahead on cleaning and laundry, doing a little here and there every day. I say no to lots and lots of things that pull me away from my family life here. I try to live my life knowing that being a mother and a wife and a house keeper is a huge job on to itself and I want that huge job, the most important one I'll ever have, to be enjoyable. So I try my best to make it that way. I also have found that with my little children, that they thrived with a routine, and with less of everything-less running around, less play dates, less "out there", and more staying at home also.

Oatmeal Butterscotch Cookies

2012-05-16T00:19:00.000-04:00

Patrick and I made these yesterday-I was desperate for a little change for our stand-by chocolate chip cookies.
They were delicious.

1 cup butter
2 eggs
1 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
2 cups quick cooking oats
1 cup butterscotch chips

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. In a medium bowl mix butter, sugars, and eggs till smooth.
3. Add flour, baking powder, soda, salt and oats to butter mixture.
4. Don't forget the chips!
5. Drop on lightly sprayed cookie sheets.
6. Bake for about 9 minutes until brown and crispy around edges.

We Are Ready

2012-05-15T00:07:00.001-04:00

I feel sorry for all teachers right now because I think these last few weeks of school must be so hard. The kids are DONE. I know mine are. It feels like summer weather outside and they've sat in the classroom for the last 9 months and they want to play and be free. I have to remind mine to finish their homework and there have been a few rushed mornings when they've forgotten. Like forgotten on purpose.

There are two little five year old boys that I watch some days in the pre-school pick up line. After they exit their preschool doors, they race full speed down the sidewalk (it helps that it has a downhill grade) with their moms following close behind straight to the playground behind the school. Every time I see them I want to run out with my camera and get this picture. Their arms are pumping hard, their tongues between their teeth, their eyes glancing at each other (because you know all boys have to race!), and this is the best part...their feet hardly touch the ground except a quick slap of the pavement with their little tennis shoes. They are suspended in air time and time again, while their legs cycle round and round. It's straight out of a Norman Rockwell print and it makes my heart just burst.

But then the girls. Oh boy, with the pigtails. Or just the talk, talk, talk. There is nothing like a conversation with a little girl is there? You can take away all the knowledge in the world and you only need about 20 minutes.

We have new neighbors behind us and they are nice and normal and I just LOVE nice and normal. Doesn't it seem rare nowadays? Maybe that's awful to think but I do think it. We are lucky here because it seems nice and normal on our little street isn't rare at all. The new family has a little girl who is younger than Andrew and a boy who is Patrick's age. Andrew set up the ladder by the back yard fence when he heard kid voices for the first time-he was SO excited and couldn't help himself. And then the little girl who moved in started talking to him and they would carry on these cutest conversations over the fence. And now there is a little permanent pathway in the back garden and a few fence rails have been pulled out and a hinge put on-just enough to fit kids-size heads and bodies through.

I have new sand in our sandbox. We bought new crayons.

I've planted a few pots of flowers. My peonies are blooming. I've done as much weeding as I will ever manage this summer.

It's going to be a fun low-key back yard summer, and I'm as excited as the kids are.

Encouragement For The Week

2012-05-14T00:08:00.002-04:00

Ordinary Days

2012-05-10T00:32:00.067-04:00

Holey, Moley, we are busy here. May can be crazy can't it? I keep telling myself in a few weeks things will quiet down, but I won't count on that, just in case. Soccer and crew and tennis and school are winding down-but of course it first has to wind UP before it winds down.

I won't have a nice Mother's Day post up this year, I'll be warning you now. I am too busy doing that mothering thing to even think about Mother's Day. It always catches me off guard anyways-I've written before I MUCH prefer this little holiday low-key. No breakfast in bed, or fancy things. I bought myself a new vacuum a few weeks ago and I'm telling Jeff and the kids they can roll with that for the gift. I'd rather just have an ordinary day anyways-that's the best gift of all in my book.

Here's Patrick out waiting for the "boys" to come home off the bus:

And Andrew helping Patrick climb a tree. He needed a ladder boost:

The three little ones had school off on Tuesday. We all did some yard work, the reward being, of course, Mr. Freeze. I wanted to shed some more light on our play area/sandbox so I asked Matt to climb the tree and cut a branch off for me. He was more than willing than to stand 20 feet off the ground with a saw.

Last weekend we had SEVEN soccer games, no kidding. (Rain dates caused that little fiasco.) Jeff had to handle five of those between two hours all alone because I was with Abbey at the one regatta I was able to attend this season. I caught Matt's game on Sunday. He is a good soccer player and it's fun to watch him.

Over the last 3 weeks I've caught up, here and there, on my scrapbooks. My motivation was to have Isaac's complete by his graduation party, mission accomplished, and I managed to get the other four caught up at the same time.

Stopped by the library, paid my large fine, and grabbed a few books quickly. I have NO idea if they'll be good or not...I've already rejected a few by the first chapters.

Abbey's regatta. Boy oh boy, crew is not for the faint of heart, or the faint of time, or the faint of travel, or the faint of opening your wallet. (I have said a few times, "Don't you just want to run cross country? Or how about tennis? That seems easy enough." No-she loves the boat and as much as it requires those big commitments above, I do think it's a pretty cool sport.)

This was the "easiest" regatta-a one day event (no hotel stay in another city), and was only about 90 minutes away...on what turned out to be a gorgeous day. We left at 5 a.m. and returned at about 7 p.m. and that is one long day.

Abbey is in the first boat-looks like they are winning, but the course bends a little so alas, that wasn't the case. I think crew is a little like ballet-it looks so peaceful and pretty, but it is super hard work to get the "peaceful and pretty". I am dying to get myself into one of those boats just to see what it is like. I guess they have a parent-try-it day in the summer, but I'll spare myself and Abbey the embarrassment and the risk of a sinking boat and hold off a year.

At this location, they had one dock to load and unload...which meant the unloading took place in the water. I cringed when I first saw this-I am not a lake/pond/river swimmer (only ocean on a warm day in clear water) and there is nothing grosser to me than the mush at the bottom of a lake. My sister-in-law and I had a good laugh because when Abbey got out of the boat to walk in this was her face. I would have been making the same one. (She is the one in the back with the pink head band.)

I have to laugh because she can barely reach that boat.

Here's a funny video Jeff took of Abbey learning to drive. She has her temps now, and by golly, she will have her license about 3 weeks after Isaac leaves for college. An extra driver is a God-send, even with the heart palpitations and endless worry it causes. She has an issue with using the windshield wipers to put the car in drive but I hear she is actually a great driver (I pass the driving lesson duties to Jeff that's why I don't know firsthand.)

First Communion and A Birthday

2012-05-09T02:54:00.000-04:00

Last weekend Andrew made his First Communion. This is a big deal for me...I love First Communion. Here he is in his finery...I let him pick his tie out (not as fun as the girls are with the dresses and flowers and hair and all but I try!).

We also celebrated Matthew's 13th birthday. (And smart girl that I am I combined those two parties into one compressed one, without ever looking at ideas on Pinterest but keeping everything really really simple knowing that for me right now, that is the best way to go. Actually for me, forever, that is the best way to go.)

So I officially have THREE teenagers living in my house. I can do this right? RIGHT???

Here is Matt opening his presents early (like super early) on his birthday morning. Yes those are plants for a present...he is my nature/botanist/pet boy.

I agreed to let him buy a snake. (That is a representation of his present below.) Actually I should rephrase that first sentence. I'm not sure I ever agreed, but it's what he received. If I tracked back through conversations leading up to his birthday, you would see, very very subtly, a breaking down of my "never in a million years will I have a snake in this house" to just saying nothing at all. Which two people-Jeff and Matt-ran with as a yes. It wasn't a yes. It was me having a lot on my plate and two people taking advantage of my inability to make strong yes or no decisions which led to the "running with it" part.

Anyways, yes, a snake...like a REAL LIVE snake is living in my home. I know it is a Ball Python. I wish I could describe it for you and tell you just what it looks like but I can't do it. Because I have never seen it. Because I have never looked at it. Because I don't get more than 10 feet from the glass cage it sits in. My goal is to NEVER EVER actually lay eyes on it. EVER. Really, I'm not kidding. After I told a friend about this whole snake thing, she said, "Really, how big is it." And I said, "You don't understand. I am not kidding about the not looking part. I have no idea."

I am deathly afraid of snakes. I can let spiders crawl on my arms, and mice don't bother me in the least. Bees can buzz around my head and I won't flinch. Frogs...don't love them, but they don't send me into shivers of fear and loathing. Snakes do.

Once when I was little (I tell this story every time we drive down the path to my parents house where I grew up-now when we turn in the kids all start up with it and I don't have to say a word) I was walking the mile (maybe a slight exaggeration) home from school bus on a nice hot day in May when I saw something up ahead in the road laying all the way across it...a stick perhaps. As I got closer it as apparent that this object was no stick but a huge snake. Across the WHOLE road. Here is a diagram. Those are my kids walking UP the hill a year ago, but I had to walk down the hill on the way home from the bus. To my warm and cozy home. But I couldn't. I just couldn't.

I could have jumped over it, no problem. My sisters and brothers would have (and maybe did?) I am sure. Or went around it, into the woods, giving myself a few feet of leeway. I chose to first cry in fear and loathing, and then back track all the way back, and take a different route to my house...which was miles more out of the way. It was crazy, but that's how I feel about snakes. Crazy.

The real thing is in there somewhere:

These are in my freezer. I know, I know, Mother of the Year award. Just hand it over.

On to the next event...Isaac is graduating in a matter of weeks! Wowzerrs!

Paint Colors In My House

2012-05-08T00:18:00.014-04:00

I thought I'd copy my organized friend Melissa on this post. One of the questions I get asked often is about paint colors I've used in my home. I'm going to save this up in my House Love tabs for reference, and maybe I'll also save myself some exercise walking up my rickety attic steps to check again and again when readers ask.

Living Room and Kitchen

Sherwin Williams

Believable Buff (6120)

My favorite color ever...a warm light tan with a hint of gold.

Master Bedroom and Bathroom

A little more grey than the living room and kitchen, but close.

This is a custom mix...the formula is:

Dining Room

Valspar

Shallow Tide

Very light greenish, grayish, bluish. I love this color!

(A tutorial on how I painted my dining room set black here.)

Abbey's Room

Sherwin Williams

Jetstream

As bright as I'll go in my house- a not-obnoxious turquoise.

Foyer

Valspar

Drumskin

Lighter shade than the living room and kitchen. A warm neutral.

Boys' Rooms

Sherwin Williams

Rarified Air 6525

A very very very light blue.

One of my favorite sites to find great paint colors in REAL LIFE houses (not fancy crazy-expensive magazine-styled rooms) is a blog called

Favorite Paint Colors

I could spend hours on this site...beware, you'll want to whip out the paint brushes. It's also great to glean some great copy-catter decorating ideas from since once again these are real rooms from real houses-you know, like the kind we all live in.

Encouragement For The Week

2012-05-06T08:50:00.000-04:00

"It is very important that children learn from their fathers

and mothers how to love one another-not in school,

not from the teacher, but from you.

It is very important that you share with your children

the joy of that smile.

There will be misunderstandings;

every family has its cross, its suffering.

Always be the first to forgive with a smile.

Be cheerful, be happy."

Mother Theresa

Shabby Apple Winner

2012-05-06T08:13:00.000-04:00

Sorry-I forgot to announce on Friday...the random number generator winner of the Shabby Apple dress give away is:

Amanda said...

I would love to wear the green dress to church in Africa this summer! shabby apple dresses are so cute!

May 1, 2012 8:53 AM

Ordinary (But Busy!) Days

2012-05-03T00:02:00.021-04:00

I know spring is officially here when my bulletin board runs out of space and weekends are full to the brim and my daily notebook "to do" list looks like this:

It's fun though...at least the key to making it fun for ME, is to stay caught up: to budget my time as well as I can, and stay on track. Once I feel like my life is over-taking me-then the not-so-fun-but-frantic part takes over and that makes me feel impatient and crabby and exhausted. I think I've been doing well. (I hope my husband is not reading this thinking, hmmmm....)

Isaac decided to play tennis for his highschool this year, his Senior year, out of the blue. He took a few lessons, and played Jeff a few times, but mostly just met friends at the local public courts when the weather allowed and he's darn good already. Good enough to beat his dad, and let me tell you, Jeff doesn't do anyone (including his kids) any favors in the "I'll let you win" department, so that's saying a lot. Patrick and I got to buzz over for about 1/2 of a match against a pretty good school...it's the first time I've ever seen Isaac play! I can't wait to watch more.

More cookies-this time for Matthew to take to his class for his birthday celebration. While I was making these cookies, Patrick was playing soccer in the kitchen. The ball sailed over and hit me HARD in the shins. I said, "OW!!!" Patrick looked at me and said matter-of-fact, "Mom you should just wear shin guards." Was he actually suggesting I spend my days around the house in shin guards? Yes, really, he was. "Girls wear them too you know", he finished up with. Nice.

I'm doing a little re-do in my living room. Slowly, but surely, it's coming along. I can't wait to show you the finished product. Getting rid of the brown and adding some pretty blue. I love it already.

Yes, I gave in.

Abbey and my mom.

My parents (thanks Mom and Dad) watched our dog Sammy while we went on spring break this year..but that week turned into another and another before we could reclaim him. Darn it, how I enjoyed it...one less responsibility. Don't ever get a dog! I laugh at myself writing that because when I was pregnant with Patrick at about the same month I am now, is when I surprised the kids with Sammy. What was I thinking? Now I just have no patience for him. And my husband and children remind me often that Sammy is the easiest dog in the entire world-like stuffed animal easy. And it's true. But still. Don't let that innocent little face fool you-he makes that ON PURPOSE for the camera to make you feel bad for him. He just escaped seconds earlier and made a run for the neighbor's house.

Patrick singing in his Spring Recital. So cute I could take a bite out of him. He was always about one verse behind all these girls in his class. You know how the girls really get into this stuff. Hilarious.

I took these two boys for ice cream one afternoon during exam week. Isaac has Senior Project right now-super cool idea where he shadows three different professions. More on that later.

And I'll leave you with this picture I recently found on my camera:

Ready for summer, that's for sure.

Pregnancy Update Week 25

2012-05-02T00:32:00.014-04:00

I know from my past pregnancies that the second trimester is always the best for me, and I've been waiting and waiting and waiting for this to happen. Finally! I am FULL of energy (OK I do fall asleep in seconds almost every night after my nighttime routine with Patrick) and usually go on a full throttle nesting spree. That full throttle nesting spree just happens to coincide with my annual spring spruce-up. Sorry check book. But I've gotten little things done that have been on my to-do list for years and it feels great.

I caught myself thinking last week, 'oh I'm only at week 24. I have SO long to go'. And then I thought about how this is my last pregnancy (really!) and how for only 16 more weeks of the rest of my whole entire life do I get to feel that wonderful feeling of growing a whole new life inside my body. The kicks, the rolls, the excitement and anticipation, the birth...even along with the varicose veins and indigestion, cramping legs and sore back, what a complete utter total miracle that I am luckier than heck to get to experience one last time.

I've been asked this question a lot so thought I'd answer it in this post:

Do you get many negative or just annoying comments about the size of your family, now that you are expecting your sixth and if so, how do you deal with them?

The funny thing is, no, I haven't had much of that this time. When I was pregnant with Andrew and then Patrick I did, but not much. If it wasn't about our family size it was about our age. People LOVED to figure out for us how old we would be when Patrick was in 1rst grade, or 8th grade or graduating from college. "You'll need your walker on campus!" HA HA HA. Jeff handles it all pretty ...which is to make more, even better, jokes?...so I just let him deal with it.

Now maybe people just think we are crazy so they are scared of us and don't say a thing. :) I braced myself this time and lo and behold, not too much so far. The best reaction to me was from my extended family...I have 43 cousins-a big Catholic family-on my mom's side, and it didn't even phase them one bit that I was announcing at 18 weeks that I was pregnant with my sixth at age 43. True pure happiness and just plain old congratulations and I needed it more than ever at the time I got it.

But yes, with my fourth and fifth there were a few times where there was a comment that might have made me cringe a little. I guess it just depended on the attitude of the commentor. But I always blew it off. Or just smiled. I think there was a time (towards the very end when you feel like you could bite every body's heads off) that I might have went into a little tangent to Jeff later and complained about how people can be complete idiots and should just zip it. I don't ever get defensive or think of some cute or smart comment to say though, because I think sometimes saying nothing is the best way to go all around, and leaves the commentor with no satisfaction whatsoever. And I can never think of cute or smart comments till about 2 hours after the fact, and then would never have the nerve to say them anyways.

I think this is one subject where I am pretty unconcerned about what others think. Maybe just because I love babies so much and NO ONE can keep me from them, no matter what they might say or think. I know that mothering is my calling, and no matter how hard and demanding it is at times, I love this stage of my life and intended to make it last as long as biology would allow. I don't ever feel the need to justify any of that, ever.

Also, at the same time I was getting a few of those of those roll-your-eye-comments, I would get so many more women (and some dads!) coming up to me and saying very honestly and heartfelt, "I am so envious. I wanted one more and my spouse just wouldn't budge" or "I realized how fleeting the time was, and it was over and now I would love to have another but it seems like the time is gone for me" or just plain, "Oh how I'd love to be in your shoes right now, there is nothing like a baby" sometimes with tears in their eyes. I tried to remember that sometimes, just maybe, those roll-your-eyes-not-so-nice-comments were masked behind those same feelings, just expressed in a different way.

Or maybe not...I'm not going to be a Pollyanna...maybe some people don't enjoy parenting very much, or think babies are stinky and cramp their lifestyle, or can't wait till their youngest turns 18 and gets the heck out of Dodge, or till all the darn kids stop eating all their steak and ruining their lives (thanks Napoleon), and then then these same people also have big mouths and feel compelled to tell every other parent who maybe doesn't feel this way and chooses a different path in life how stupid or crazy or irresponsible they are. I am sure that could be the case, but there is really nothing I can do about any of that (I have no desire to take that all on!), so the whole "smile and say nothing" reaction works out pretty well in the end.

Happy May Day and a Shabby Apple Give Away

2012-05-01T00:59:00.013-04:00

I picked out a new dress from Shabby Apple...I was asked if I wanted to do a review of the new spring line of dresses at Shabby Apple back in February, but decided to wait seeing that I knew I wouldn't be fitting into anything when it came to springtime. I picked out this simple black swiss dot maternity dress (called the Oh Baby! dress) and just love it. It is fully lined with a tie in the back...there is plenty of room for me to grow...and grow and grow, which I will surely do.

They don't just have maternity dresses...here are some of the non-maternity ones I love!

If you'd like to enter to win your choice of Shabby Apple dresses, check out the shop and tell me which one you'd pick. I'll announce the winner on Friday, May 4. Meanwhile if you'd like to order something my readers can get 10% using the code cloverlane10off.
Thanks Shabby Apple!

Freshening Up and A Pretty New Frame

2012-04-26T00:27:00.002-04:00

I've been tackling my list of things-to-do lately...and oh, it's a long one. But I've been plugging along slowly but surely and it feels SO good to get these things checked off my list. I feel like I might finally be "catching up".

I bought a new quilt from Overstock.com. My last one was cream colored also but someone was playing with a ball point pen and you know the ending of that story. Why was that someone playing with a ball point pen while sitting on our bed? I have no idea, but I DO know I love my new quilt.

I also sewed (I mean glued) some ball fringe on my plain old canvas curtains, something I have wanted to do for about 3 years. They give them a little more formal, finished look.

In Abbey's room, I hemmed her cheapy IKEA curtains, and bought a new lamp from Target. Her room was so dark-I can't stand dark rooms.

My favorite little project was to hang this beautiful new frame sent to me from The Sprig Framing Company. I love the distressed edges and soft color. At first I put this quote in it:

And then I got back from Seaside and printed out these four pictures I took.

And decided on the path to the beach.

And yes I know that those two choices (the quote and the dreamy Seaside photos) are telling my little brain the opposite message. But for now, I'm going with Seaside.

Here are some more frames from Sprig...beautiful! Bryan is the man behind these frames and began making them after his wife Tracey (of the shop Tiny Sprouts...the tenderest lovely baby clothing) began taking tons of pictures of their son. He began making her the exact kind of frames she wanted but couldn't find, and then everyone else wanted them too...hence the shop.

If you need a new addition to your house, or a little gift from a friend, The Sprig Framing Company is offering my readers a 10% off coupon with the code clover at checkout.

Ordinary Days

2012-04-25T00:29:00.002-04:00

Patrick has been SO excited that I signed him up for a spring soccer program. He has sat on the side lines forever. The only mistake I made was telling him about 4 weeks ago that he'll play soccer "in the spring". He has asked me every single wingle day, "Is is spring yet?"

Finally the time has come! He loved it.

Bought this lotion from a shop in Seaside and it smells like soap and the beach combined. A perfect scent. It makes me happy.

Making peanut butter cookies.

He was so proud of his rolling capabilities. And yes, I fixed them.

We also set up the train table.

I bleached my dish towels. They needed it bad;y. They look all nice and neat now.

Is that weird it makes me happy to have super white nice and neat matching dish towels? I think it is.

Patrick and Andrew picked these for me.

Abbey has two "big sis's" on the rowing team and they buy little gifts for each other for the regatta's. I put these together from the dollar store. It was fun. (Filled with candy and silly string and nail polish and a cute pad of paper.) Maybe it won't be as fun when I do it for the next four weekends. Any good ideas? Maybe a pair of short shorts would be good. Oh, I'm kidding, you know I am! I was thinking of a magazine and a big chocolate bar next time. It's all in the wrapping anyways don't you agree?

I stopped and smelled the flowers.

I made my favorite salsa. I am feeling totally better food-wise. Finally. The sunshine helps I think.

We had started a TV habit when I was sick. It makes me feel awful when my kids watch TV, like their brains are getting fried. So we did a Cold Turkey TV Weaning. Our vacation helped kick it off, but once we got home we (Patrick) had some struggles. We made it through our first week and I won't say it was easy but it is worth it for my peace of mind not to have that darn thing on at all. This is his pouting face when I say no way.

Making lots of cookies (this time sugar cookies) helped distract from Dora cravings.

As did a little nap. I made a play list of kid's tunes and he thinks he's such a big kid listening to his (my) Ipod.

I am showing. Like I'm 30 weeks. Except I'm 24. I think it's the total lack of stomach muscles I started with. Or a giant baby. (There is only one in there, I know that for sure.)

Who Wears Short Shorts? On Raising Teenagers, Once Again

2012-04-24T00:00:00.002-04:00

I got this comment last week after my Seaside post from someone named "brooket":

Do you sometimes think your daughter's shorts are too short?

It made me laugh. Actually Abbey was sitting at the computer when I read it and we both looked at each other and laughed together.

Because the answer is yes. I do! I think my 15 year old daughter's shorts are too short. I also sometimes think she sometimes wears too much make up. I think she is so pretty and doesn't need one drop of it, so any is "too much" for me. I don't always love the tops she chooses to wear-the style these days (haven't all mothers said this?) is not really my taste. I wish she wouldn't get so stressed about school, and friend drama and sometimes I really wish she would not be so picky and particular on just about everything. And the only nail polish color I really prefer on girls that age is pink, and she likes yellow or blue or sometimes orange.

She knows all this. Sometimes we argue about it, sometimes we down and out fight about it. It's hard. I wish she would listen to everything I have to say and do exactly what I tell her to do all the time. She did when she was little pretty much always. We could go shopping and oooh and aaah over all the same stuff. The matching tights, the cute colorful knit dresses. Those red sparkly shoes-oh, I remember those! She went through that phase all little girls go through, only wanting to wear those shoes with everything. Maybe some years it was the cute pink tennies, or other years it was the top with the little ballerina girl on the front, but whatever it was, it was something I picked out and approved of and thought was darn cute. We got along great all the time. Because. Because her opinion and my opinion matched perfectly.

In junior high we started clashing about little things. Maybe it was at what age she could get her ears pierced. Or why I had to be so strict about how high the heels were that she wanted to buy for 8th grade graduation..."everyone else" was wearing those high ones, why couldn't she? Where we once got along almost perfectly, we started exchanging words that weren't so pleasant. We started getting angry at each other as she pushed and I pulled-as she exerted her opinion that was different from my opinion-yes, she had somehow developed her own, how the heck did that happen? I held her back against the growing-up-too- fast pull of "out there" as best as I could. Oh, if only I could keep her in my world. If only I would just say yes to everything she wanted because it was the same as what I wanted, it would all be so easy. If only she would stay young forever.

Since then it's been just like that...that push and pull. We have both cried tears over the last 3 years....over how darn hard and different it has been. Me with my own doubts-Am I doing this right? Am I being too strict? Should I have stuck to my guns? Why oh why can't she just trust that I know what is best for her? And her with tears of frustration, anger, and just plain old hurt feelings.

When it comes to raising teenagers I think there are three roads to take. Two are easy...and so tempting because you, as the mother, can always be happy. You can wake up in a good mood every day and stay that way---there is little or no conflict, tears, drama. One is the route where anything they want is fine with you. The drinking, the boyfriends, the hotel rooms rented at prom. Rules are a pain, and being popular is the name of the game. There is never a fight because who wants to fight? Yes is your answer, sure go ahead honey, we're best friends right? You turn your head or laugh and say, "Teenagers will be teenagers, what can I do about it?" The other end of the spectrum is just the opposite. You keep that total control all the way through. You make all those decisions for them. You require them to call you on their cell phones every hour because the big bad world out there is dangerous. They never make mistakes because you would never, ever let that happen. You teach them to rely on you for everything. You teach them that they can't trust their own decisions and choices-that's what they need you for. You criticize and brainwash and protect and hover and warn. You have all the answers. You keep them under your wing constantly. Things stay the same as they were when they were 3, 7, 9-when it was easy. I have seen both styles of parenting teens and I know in my heart that they have pretty good odds of producing disastrous results. The easy way, darn it, never seems to be the right way.

Even so, it's tempting. See, the place in the middle of those two extremes? It's tons of work. It's work every day, whether you are up for it or not. You as a parent might be exhausted, sick, busy, or...you might just want to keep that good mood going and not rock the boat for once. You know you must gauge when to move up and down in that middle ground. Constantly you wonder when to let go, when to be quiet, when to just listen, when to speak up. Sure you've got a list in your head that you will never ever budge on. My kids know what those "no-budgers" are. Mine starts with smoking and ends with tattoos and include lots of really, really important stuff in between.

But there are many things not on that list that start out one way, and end another as teens progress, grow and struggle or soar-and as we parents progress and grow and struggle also. Rules change as that happens. There is a gradual letting go of the reins...a handing over (literally!) of the steering wheel of life. Consequences are learned the hard way and responsibilities given-maybe too soon, or in perfect timing, or late enough to cause major resentment. It's hard to hit that "perfect timing" thing every day. Trust is broken and gained. Lessons are learned and tears are shed. The light bulb moments us moms savor can't happen enough. Sometimes those light bulb moments are my moments-my teens have taught me as much as I have taught them! Every day, large and small decisions being made by me on the spur of the moment, in the heat of the moment, in the light of day and the dark of night, render me mentally exhausted-weighing the pros and cons, thinking and rethinking, trying to figure out what's really important-it's a learning process. And then on top of it all you learn what works for one child, certainly doesn't work for another.

Sometimes we moms of teens know that if we'd like our teens to go to this school, choose this outfit, pick this friend, the surefire way to get them to do the opposite is to let our opinions be known. For other teens the tiniest hint of criticism from us leads to a break down in communication for months and we must work to regain that relationship. I've had one teen say to me, "You don't have to be so careful about telling me what you think Mom! You can trust me to make my own decision and also listen to your and Dad's opinion. I want to hear what you have to say." And I've had another child say, "This is what I want. I know it's right for me even if it isn't what you would chose." Keeps you on your toes, that's for sure. And scrambles your brain at the same time.

But if I've learned anything in the last few years of parenting teenagers it's this. My role is not to turn my back and go with the flow and hope for the best and it's not to keep them young and dependent on me and never grow up. It's to get them to the point where they can make those healthy decisions-large and small-for themselves and do that confidently. It's to accept that my children may want different things out of life then what I had wished for them or planned for them or think is best for them. It's to watch them develop their own styles and taste and opinions (which I have learned changes so quickly in these years) and try not to cringe to much when it's not that super cute sun dress, the darling flats, the preppy shirt, I would have chose.

So back to the short shorts. You have to know the story behind those short shorts because it is the perfect explanation of my whole point of this complicated dance of teen/mother relationships. I spent about 2 1/2 months this winter hardly able to parent my five children due to my sixth pregnancy. When I was slowly gaining my strength, I knew my priorities were to reconnect with my kids but also get my household back in order. We did some bedroom and closet clean outs and Abbey (well, all of them!) had some major growth spurts this year. They were in desperate need of summer clothes as we were heading towards a much- needed spring break.

Abbey is a 4.0 student, taking all honors classes, at a very academically competitive school. (Well, 3.9 at this moment which freaks her out to no end. Which just goes to show you the apple does fall far from the tree sometimes!) She is on crew which requires 2 1/2 hours of practice every night but the weekends, and spots on the boat depend on how your athletic skill and performance is judged by the coaching staff every single day. She also is on student council, which meets every Wednesday after school, and also volunteers with a program run by the Sisters of Notre Dame helping families cope with children with fetal-alcohol syndrome. She babysits the children while their parents get counseling-not an easy thing to do after 7 hours of school. She makes sure she goes to Mass every Sunday, even if it means with her busy schedule she goes by herself.

And what stressed her out to no end-in spite of that angelic, well-balanced, perfect picture I just painted of her-is that she had NO shorts for spring break. She is after all, a 15 year old teenage girl. Who loves fashion. And who likes to feel confident in the way she looks. Do you remember being 15? I sure do. Little things matter just as much as the big things and I needed to remember that. So fast forward to one day before we were to leave for Florida...the only time her still nauseated mother could leave her other four children (who just walked in from school-oh, how I hate doing that) to pick her up across town to take her to the mall for the one hour after school ends and crew practice begins.

The mall is, to Abbey's dismay, her mother's most hated destination on earth. We had put it off for weeks and weeks and frankly, snapped at each other quite constantly over this shorts-dilemma: who has time when, and how the world doesn't revolve around this important task at hand, me with my guilty feelings of being sick for so long and then overwhelmed at catching up with life while expecting my sixth child and the doubts strong about stretching myself thin and giving proper love and attention to all these children weighing heavily on my heart. Her I am sure feeling like just for once it would be nice to spend an afternoon shopping and getting some attention, but also those shorts-"I really really have no shorts!" Mix together my pregnancy hormones with teenage-girl hormones and then stand back and beware.

So we walk around an unfamiliar mall trying to find the two stores that carry a size that will fit her. The stores have half-naked models on huge posters, are as dark as a disco and just as loud, and to the dismay of my pregnant nose, are shooting cologne out of the heat ducts. Like so thick you can actually see it. I think I might die. I try to not to look at the ads of teenagers laying on each other with no shirts on and pants unzipped, because the last thing I need right now is to start on that "what is this world coming to" rant in my head that takes over my brain and makes me crabbier than heck. Shorts. Just shorts. We go back and forth between these two stores while she makes her decisions and I develop a raging cologne headache. We try another store-everything is too big. We go back. She picks out a few on her own that fit and I don't make her show me-I am curled up in the comfy leather chair by the cash registers because I need desperately to sit my old pregnant self down. She doesn't argue when I say, "I am not spending $35 for shorts that already have a fray in them." She puts those back. We are walking on eggshells. We have argued extensively about short length (and fashion in general) over the last few years, searching high and low for a compromise that will pleases us both-knowing full well that I am fighting a hard battle since the stores available to us size-wise and location-wise are on her side. When I look back, I won't say it's easy, but I have been pleased with the end result of our compromising capabilities. I think she would agree. Somehow it always works out but usually requires hours of shopping-something we didn't have that day.

She is aware that I have met my mall time quoto and things can get scary after that, so I let her make her own decision. I surrendered on the issue of short length. She is 15. She is a nice, good girl. Her shorts are too short, yes they are. She doesn't think so. I do. She likes them. Most of the girls wear them, which I know is about the worst excuse any mother can give. You can judge me. You can send me the link to Land's End Kids. You can tell me I didn't try hard enough. You can tell me she is destined to work at Hooters one day all because of that moment in the mall where I gave in. Or that I needed to stand firm. But I didn't have it in me then. I was rebuilding a relationship and picking and choosing my battles. I was keeping communication lines open, or attempting to. I was trying not to puke in the mall. I was walking that middle ground the best I could- like most moms of teens are doing every day of their lives as they try to figure out this whole new stage of parenting. I see friends with teens the same age struggling with small issues (short shorts and makeup) and huge issues (bullying and depression) and my heart goes out to them because I know they are doing their best because they adore their children and it's not easy, it's never easy.

She thanked me. I took her for a quick bite before her crew practice at Panera, taking deep breaths of fresh air as I waited in the car for her to run in and order. She was starving and had to row a 5K and beat her last time. I dropped her off at the river and came home and made dinner before soccer practices started for the boys. She got home 2 hours later and did homework for 4 hours, then packed.

See, I love her, even in her short shorts. I am so proud of her and all the decisions she has made so far. It is painful for me to watch the struggles she goes through on a daily typical teenage day basis-the friend drama she tries to avoid, the dismay at a break-out that renders her feeling self-conscious, the pressure she puts on herself to excel. It brings back those years so quickly and God knows they weren't easy, were they? I want to fix everything for her, and make it all just the way I want it to be. I see her reaching up and out beyond her comfort level and start to get excited about the choices she has in life because of her hard work. I know she still needs me, and I know we have years and issues ahead of us to tackle-she's been to a few dances, done a little driving, and we haven't even gotten to the whole dating thing yet.

And darn it all, I know she has outgrown those red sparkly shoes and I don't necessarily get to pick out their replacement. I also know that is exactly what is supposed to happen. I know we'll be OK, short shorts and all. But thanks for asking.

Encouragement For The Week

2012-04-23T00:01:00.001-04:00

I love love love this encouraging beautiful essay by April Perry about what our children really want.

I think you will love it too.

Seaside Portraits and Real Life

2012-04-18T00:29:00.006-04:00

I have made it an annual tradition to take the kid's photos in Seaside. This year I waited till the last day and honestly, just wanted to get one good pic of each of them...with the exception of Isaac, who needed his senior pictures. (Instead of paying hundreds and hundreds of dollars I just decided I could do it myself.)

We went out one morning and one-by-one, an hour later, I had them all finished-good enough, which seems to be the mantra around here lately.

(I have these two favorites for Patrick and can't pick which one I love more-little Mr. Blue Eyes.)

On our last evening I did a quick beach pic of the kids, while Jeff picked up pizza. I loved this series:

And you know, as perfect as vacation pictures always look there were PLENTY of real life moments. Like the 14 hour car ride down and back where Jeff came up with this system of everyone switching seats to be "fair" and which just caused constant arguing, which in turn made me argue with Jeff about how dumb it is to even have a system in the first place-they can all just sit there with their movies and Ipods or heaven forbid LOOK OUT THE WINDOW like I had to when I was young. Let me tell you-I'll take 5 two year old's in the mini-van for 14 hours vs. teenagers any day. And I mean that.

Or the son who wasn't really having the time of his life this vacation and had to be pulled and coerced outside and in the water and to have fun in general. (There is always one isn't there, that feels left out, or is just not "into" it that year?)

Or the little dent in the front of the van from a certain teenager making a small space mis-judgment.

Me feeling fat and tired and like I should be at 9 months, not 4 1/2. And wondering and worrying what I will be feeling when I really AM 9 months pregnant.

And I was really really really crabby on the way down...like exceptionally stupidly crabby...plain jerky. But when I hit that beach...all the things that had been really really bugging me about certain struggles-I instantly just gained perspective by the ocean. Which is what a vacation is really all about-at least for me. A change of pace, a reminder of the things that mattered, a chance to breathe again and get off the hamster wheel of life. I am so appreciative of the chance to have had this last week to do that. I just now know that I'm going to have to work at keeping that relaxed and "bigger-picture" feeling going for awhile...till the next time at least.

Some questions answered from last post:
1. Here is the link for the house we stayed in:
http://www.vrbo.com/396129

2. Do I allow texting/cell phones for teenagers during vacation?
It depends...in Seaside I do (my two older ones have cell phones) because they usually meet up with friends or cousins or each other and they let us know where they are and when they are coming back.

3. Do we bring friends, share houses on vacation?
We don't/can't! bring friends because we have no room in the car. (Which we have to start thinking of soon, since we will have to fit one more of our own!) I really want and need our vacations to be family time. I don't mind meeting up with people, but I always want our own place. I know lots of families share houses with friends/relatives, but it just always seems way too chaotic for me, and requires so much co-ordination it seems, that the "relaxing" part of vacation never seems present. I like to have my little ones nap/go to bed early in a quiet place and have some control over that. This year my sister-in-law's sister and husband and daughter stayed near us at their own place and we met at the beach every day, went out to casual, quick dinners a few times, and it was so fun. Their daughter hung out with Abbey and played with Patrick and Andrew so much which was really nice of her.

Four years ago when we first went to Seaside, Isaac met a kid his age on the beach...just randomly they got talking and skim boarded every day together. We met his family then, who were so nice-and they had a daughter that happens to be Abbey's age. The kids all exchanged cell phone numbers, and friended on Facebook, and every year but one, both their family and ours, stayed in or near Seaside, and the kids have met up together and just had a blast.

Seaside Or Close Enough

2012-04-17T00:18:00.009-04:00

We spent last week in Seaside, Florida, and I'm in recovery mode this week. It was such a relaxing vacation this year...but honestly it was the quickest week ever. It just seemed to fly. And usually I take so many pictures...once more my pregnant slacker self just took a little more laid back approach this time...which seems to be happening in every facet of my life right now.

This year we meant to stay IN Seaside but because of an annoying mistake made by the rental agency we used (too long of a story to explain) we lost the home we had chosen back in August. (Yes that is how excited I get about Seaside...I book 9 months in advance.) After spending about 12 hours on VRBO I found a house 6 houses down from Seaside (since Seaside was practically booked in it's entirety by that time)...but the benefit was that this house was ON the beach. We were seconds away from all the shops and restaurants, I could still let the older kids go by themselves for lunch or shopping or to hang out with friends in Seaside, but with the beach steps away, we had nice and easy access to our place.

Not as cute as a Seaside house by any means, slightly outdated...think Brady Bunch (or Mad Men?), but it worked perfectly for us and I fell in love with it instantly. I think the family had just started renting it out-it was a family gathering spot for generations. It had such a sweet sentimentality about it. As old as the house was it was in pristine condition inside and out-very well taken care of. You know how much I love the beautifully decorated Seaside houses, but there was something a little more genuine "beach cottage" here.

A beautiful shell collection in the front hallway-my little ones loved this.

Cutting edge-about 40 years ago?

You needed to see a close-up of that paneling in the kitchen didn't you?

Jeff went grocery shopping at least 3 times that week (I never did once! Heaven!). We sort of have a junk food bonanza on vacation. And Jeff loves the White Mountain bread from Publix-talks about it all year and I honestly think we went through about 10 loaves with all the kids we fed. Patrick ate about 3 PB & J's daily.

Patrick was thrilled to find toys and books.

Vintage books might I add...my favorite kind.

Abbey and I thought these were the best light fixtures ever:

This plaque cracked me up (just as it should be right?), and I'm dying to know the story behind it:

One of the things that enticed us (besides the on the beach part and the 4-weeks-before-vacation desperation part) was that it had 3 large bedrooms, each with their own full bath and outdoor shower. Where we usually "squish" into a place, this time we spread out, and it was nice for the older kids who had friends and cousins over throughout the week.

The little ones crashed early every night:

The back porch:

The steps to the beach:

We spent most of our time at the beach of course- we had the most beautiful weather, every minute of every day. Lucky ducks we were.

The Easter Bunny put kites in the Easter baskets.

We rented a paddle board for 3 days and it was well-used...even once by pregnant old me...although getting on that thing was quite a feat.

Abbey took this picture...yes the water is really that color and the sand is perfectly soft squishy sand.

Isaac and his friend went way way way out and did some diving and shell hunting.

Someone remind me to buy Matthew some sunglasses and a hat next time-he has my sun sensitive eyes.

Abbey and a friend went paddle boarding one day and neither were crazy about sea life. One time a school of leaping fish went right over the paddle board, and from the screams that followed I think every beach-goer far and wide thought these two girls were being eaten by sharks.

We saw Isaac for about 5 hours the entire week. To eat and/or to get money to eat. I did get to spend about 20 minutes with him to take his Senior pictures. The one thing I think is so great about this place (or that works well for us with our wide range of ages) is that I can give the older kids freedom and I feel it's completely safe...and no driving involved for the most part.

Abbey's bike-how cool is that.

A perfect reading corner.

A few more coming up soon-then I have to get back to real life.

Encouragement For The Week

2012-04-16T00:26:00.000-04:00

Ordinary Days

2012-04-13T00:37:00.000-04:00

30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans

Such a good book. The author interviewed more than a thousand elderly men and women from all walks of life and put together their advice on the big issues-raising children, marriage, career and life in general. I turned down so many pages and underlined so many enlightening thoughts.

My spring pedicure. Before you go thinking I'm a pampered diva, I'll let you know that this is about the 5th pedicure of my life and I'm 42. So there.

Abbey went to a few dances this year and it seemed like most of the girls were getting their hair and nails professionally done before the dance. I let Abbey get her hair done for one dance, in the kitchen of a friend. That was all. And no my restrictions didn't go over easy, but that's the way it is here. See this is my theory-if these young girls are getting all these extra special privileges at a young age, I think they never appreciate what that word "EXTRA SPECIAL" means. I said to my mom-How are they going to learn to live on one salary when they have their babies to take care of and have to scrimp for groceries when they consider manis and pedis some thing routine? I remember scraping up change to get my hair cut, when Isaac was a baby and we didn't have two pennies to rub together. I don't know what this world is coming to I tell you.

Anyways, a few days after Abbey and I had this very same discussion, I pulled out my old dusty wedding album and the whole family was looking at the photos. Abbey said, "Mom, who did your nails, hair and makeup for your wedding?" I said, (probably a little too loudly?) "I DID for God's sake!"

Lightbulb moments, dearies, are divine when you get to see them in teenager's faces.

Working in the yard. More on that below. When I wear these boots while doing yard chores I feel like I am touring my estate, instead of pulling weeds while attempting to bend over with my rapidly growing pregnant belly on my overgrown, untidy yard.

Real life.

4 weeks early this tree bloomed. There is nothing not to love about an early spring.

There were some guys in a truck roaming the neighborhood offering to trim trees and do yard work. A few neighbors had hired them. I hired them also, but I then fired them. That's always fun. Actually I am awful at doing this sort of firing thing but I was going to pay them a lot of money and right away they were doing a less than stellar job. A lazy crappy job that they thought they could get away with, with little old housewifey me, actually. I could do it better 20 weeks pregnant by myself and when I pay for work, I want it done BETTER than I could do. I decided my best bet now was to hire my family (for room and board), and work next to them and get it done right.

And this here is the mulch truck that came the next day.

I have no pictures from Work Day because everyone was way too crabby and would have really been mad at me for snapping pictures. But we got it finished.

Expectations

2012-04-11T00:27:00.001-04:00

with Isaac -1994

with Abbey-1996

with Matthew-1999

with Andrew-2003

with Patrick-2007

So many of you said so many nice words of congratulations to me when I announced my pregnancy with my sixth child. I appreciate them all-sometimes I feel like all that is said to me around here is, "Can you..." "Do you know where..." "Make him stop..." "What's for dinner..." that sort of thing. You all have so much confidence in me, and that is so nice of you all.

But I want you to know something. I am not expecting my sixth child because raising babies and children is easy for me, or because I'm gifted with special powers, or because I have supreme confidence in myself or all the answers to parenting. With every pregnancy I have had many thoughts and worries and anxieties on my ability to be a good mother to each child I bring into this world. I'd like to think all mothers do-but maybe not?

Maybe each time I have more perspective...I KNOW in my heart there will be trying times, tired and exhausted times, frustrating times. I know I will feel dumpy and fat for a year while I nurse my baby because I never lose all my pregnancy weight till I'm completely done with nursing which means an entire year of stretchy waist bands. I know that I will be a walking zombie with a short temper till the baby sleeps more than 2 hours at a time. (Which none of my babies did for a long time!) I know I will feel at times like no one gets the energy it takes to raise teenagers and babies at the same time and feel a little sorry for myself, and then get mad at feeling sorry for myself when I know I should be feeling grateful instead. I know I will have to keep things simple which means saying no a lot-even to my own family. I know I will feel overwhelmed and then guilty when I lay may head down to sleep just about every night. Did I say one thing encouraging to this kid or that kid? Did I forget once more to sign a paper, make a phone call, write a thank you note?

Now I also know how fast infants become babies, and babies become toddlers and toddlers become school kids, and then teenagers and then how they are ready to leave the home. So little things, like how often the baby poops-which I used to record in a pooping/feeding/wetting notebook with my first, are no longer recorded-I know things will be OK on that front...I also know that those worries are nothing, nothing, compared to the worries that come later. I'd trade pooping worries with teenage driver worries in a heart beat.

When I look at each of those hospital photos above I can see it in my face-my happiness but also my insecurity, my doubt, my worry about the huge task before me, that I know won't work as smoothly as I'd like it to, in spite of my planning and preparation. But I did do it...I did it five times and my children are happy and well-adjusted and thriving-at least I think they are. I did it the best that I could do. I survived the sleepless nights, the endless nursing sessions fit in between meeting the needs of toddlers (and school children and teenagers!), the frumpy frustration of having nothing to wear and no time to care, the feelings of guilt over snappy exhaustion, the endless neediness and 24 hour care of my family.

Every pregnancy, I believe, brings big changes and adjustments to a mother...whether it's your second and you are worried about how you can possible love another and share your time, or whether it's your sixth and you wonder how you can stretch yourself out so thin and not feel completely depleted, and not leave anyone resentful-we all (I think?) have the same feelings. I think many mothers feel like they are not "allowed" to have these feelings, especially when that baby was "on purpose" and tried for...I know I still grapple with this. But I remind myself that we are allowed to feel this way...maybe it means we realize the scope of care involved, it means we want to be the best we can be for our family, it means we recognize the big work before us.

Encouragement For The Week

2012-04-09T01:06:00.000-04:00

Ordinary Days

2012-04-05T00:36:00.005-04:00

Heaven Is Here: An Incredible Story of Hope, Triumph, and Everyday Joy

Did you buy? I bought. My beach read...although I received it yesterday and I'm more than halfway through so I don't think it's going to make it to the beach...it is incredibly well written and honestly, I neglected hours and hours of housework and childcare because I couldn't put it down. You need tissues with this book, just so you know. Like a box. In fact, the box should just come glued to the back of each book. What an incredible mother, an incredible story, a beautiful strong woman and wife.

A cape, a baseball mitt and duct taped soccer cleats. What more does any boy need to go out into this world?

Our Pokemon (really really old Pokemon played with since my teens were tots) game. Roll the ball and knock out the enemy. Someone always wins and its not me, but I think the rules are made up as we go along?

I couldn't be more thrilled to find out recently that Snookie is pregnant too! I mean really-we have so much in common and now this! The same taste in clothes, recreational activities and shoes. I don't think I need to go on. The list would be too long, don't you think? Oh brother.

I love Andrew's notes. I also love that he changed Fritos to grapes. Do you save all your kid-notes? I do-I throw them in a little box. My mom used to keep ours in her cook book. They are still there.

Notes like this I don't save. But I should, because one day I will probably laugh. But now when I get a note from a teenager who drives a car we paid for, and lives in the house we are paying for, and eats the food I cook, and wears the clothes I buy and wash that says, "U OWE ME..." I really want to say, "I'll pay you after you pay your running tab mister. Let's start adding." (That is my WHY up there...it was lunch money plus something for school apparently.) I have to do a post on teenagers soon...I am learning so much, and a few readers asked me some questions about certain teen topics. I am NO expert for heaven's sake though...I am in the midst of all of this and learning as I go...by making mistakes of course and picking the brains of those that have walked this journey before me. I've had revelation after revelation but even with the sky wide open and the light shining down I learn slow. Lesson #1 and the one I forget ALL the time: Don't be reactionary. Just take a deep breath and listen and remain calm at all times. Easier said than done. Especially when being pregnant (at least I am blaming it on that), I tend to overreact at the littlest things on a daily basis.

Hi Baby!

2012-04-04T00:46:00.002-04:00

Last week I had my mid-pregnancy ultrasound...you know...the one where everyone "finds out". And no, I did not! It is not even hard for me to not find out, I just love that surprise at the end. It's funny how every has their own opinion on it-I can see the advantages to knowing for sure.

I had a very nice ultrasound lady and she was great about not saying "he or she" the entire time. I actually asked my doctor if we could just skip this whole thing, and call it a day, ultrasound-wise. I have been sent to a hospital I hate for my previous ones in my first trimester because I guess I was categorized as "high-risk". I am just all ultrasounded-out. I begged her to not send me to that awful hospital and she said she'd just do a nice quick look in the office and I couldn't thank her enough. (I now I need another one...my placenta is blocking my cervix and they need to check that out at 30 weeks....it is no big deal, I had the same thing with Patrick and everything ended up situated right by the time it needed to be. As long as everything is healthy with this little guy or girl I'm happier than heck.)

So what do you think of that cute big ol' hand up there? My boys all had what I called "puppy paws" when they were born..just these huge strong boy hands. Abbey had tiny delicate little skinny hands! I love this whole part...this guessing thing. That's what makes it so fun to me. I was in the store the other day trying to find shorts for one of my sons and I stopped by the baby section...I wanted to find an all-white terry sleeper...my favorite baby item ever. Finally I feel like I can buy something for baby, and I can't find a single thing that isn't gender-specific. Oh well...I think I have some things saved up in the attic anyways. (And I have a 15 year old girl who would love to have me hand her cash and send her shopping for a new baby come August-no need to worry on that front!)

I am feeling so much better...I still have some ickiness in the late afternoon and evening-nothing compared to what it was-more just like a loss of appetite. I'd rather just not be around food then, which is making dinners really really lame around here. I couldn't believe how many comments and emails I got from fellow-hyperemesis sufferers and honestly, I came away feeling so lucky and grateful because compared to some stories I feel like I had it easy.

I am trying to make it till summer without buying maternity clothes-I am wearing the greatest invention EVER-the belly band. Seriously, you know how lucky all you girls are now? That wasn't invented back in the olden' day with my first pregnancies. It makes things much easier and I, so far, can wear all my normal jeans and pants and shorts. That will change no doubt because by the time I'm in the third trimester-or in a few weeks?!- I will look like I am having triplets.

I am so grateful and so happy for this new little life. Every baby is just an incredible miracle from start to finish. The little kicks-whenever I feel anxiety about the pregnancy, he/she seems to know and give me a little sign everything is fine. I make sure to say thank you each time.

Encouragement For The Week

2012-04-02T00:56:00.000-04:00