Cluster Love

Monster Truck Puzzle: A Craft

2012-08-20T13:57:00.000-04:00

A good way to get Enzo interested in an activity is to make it monster truck themed. Here is a quick activity I came up with that involves matching puzzle-like shapes in order to form a picture. Enjoy!

Enzo-isms

2012-08-06T13:52:00.000-04:00

One of my favorites things about having a two-year-old is his use of language and the clever and funny things that come from his mouth.

There are so many funny things that Enzo has said over the past few months. Here are a few that come to mind:

Enzo-ism #1

Enzo: Daddy, I hungry.

Pablo: Oh, really. Is your belly hungry?

Enzo: No, I hungry in my mouth!

Enzo-ism #2

Me: Enzo, did you poop?

Enzo: Noooooo.

Aunt Grace: Enz, are you lying?

Enzo: No, Grace. I not a lion.

Enzo-ism #3

Enzo was sitting on his Pop's lap in the driver's seat of the parked car. Enzo was playing with the windshield wipers and head light controls.

Pop says, "Enzo, blow the horn!"
Enzo blows on the steering wheel as if he were blowing out birthday candles.

It's Friday! Here's Some Music!

2012-08-03T14:16:00.000-04:00

It's been a while, but I went on a glutenous shopping spree on iTunes last night, and man, did it feel good. Don't you just love filling up the iPod with new music? Me, too. Except, of course, for mornings when your husband really wants to listen to his new Neil Young's Greatest Hits album during your morning commute. That's a lot to ask so early in the morning; Neil Young's voice is piercing at that time of day, especially when I have a new playlist of freshly purchased music beckoning me. Oh well, you win some, you lose some.

Here are a few of my purchases:

Music In The Park

2012-08-02T13:54:00.000-04:00

Last winter, my sister, who works in the city, told me about a park downtown that has music stations throughout. We have been meaning to go take a look for several months now and finally got around to visiting today.

The boys had a great time playing the xylophones and chimes. There was a huge funnel-like sculpture that echoed if you yelled into it. The boys mainly liked using it as a sliding board and monster truck ramp.

We capped off the morning at a cafe snacking on fresh baked treats and cold drinks. A perfect and easy summer day.

The walk had a vocabulary lesson ever few feet- words that sound the same but have different spellings and meanings.

We loved this bamboo tunnel.

A Craft That Took A Detour: Window Charms

2012-07-26T13:49:00.000-04:00

I have been saving paper towel rolls for a long time. I decided today it was time; the mountain of empty rolls needed to be tossed or used. There is so much you can make with empty rolls and my boys love playing with them. I decided to keep them and start putting them to good use.

Source

Today I decided we would make paper towel roll snakes. It's a cute little craft, one I thought Enzo would enjoy. As we began working, the craft ended up going in a totally different direction resulting in a window charm or wind chime. I really love the finished product and the process incorporated so many fine motor skills.

Materials:
pipe cleaners
paper towel roll
paint
beads and/or pasta
(next time we'll also add some glitter and stickers to dress it up)

Step 1: Cutting the tube into sections and painting the tube segments

Step 2: Punching holes in each side of the tube and on both ends. There should be 4 holes total on each segment.

Step 3: Thread pipe cleaners through the holes and begin fastening the tubes together.

Step 4: We threaded beads and pasta on pipe cleaners, which Enzo wanted to wear as a bracelet. When he was tired of wearing the bracelet (he's fickle), I fastened it to the end of the chime for decoration.

Massimo played in finger paints!

Getting Schooled

2012-07-13T13:26:00.001-04:00

Now that Enzo is is older, I have begun researching our options for his schooling. I know he is only two, but the time goes by so fast and I want to be sure we are as informed as possible and feel confident that we are setting him up for the most success.

The more I research, and the more we think and talk about it, the more Pablo and I want to homeschool our children. It is honestly not something I ever thought I would do, but as a teacher, it only makes sense. I could never, in a billion years, allow my children to go to public school in the neighborhood we currently live in. Over my dead body. If, for some reason, we are still living in this house when the time comes, our options would be a free Montessori school that has a lottery, private school, which is costly, or homeschooling.

There are so many misconceptions about homeschooling, some of which I even believed myself. When you really get down to it, it is a wonderful opportunity that sets children up for a lifetime of success by teaching them to be life-long learners. As parents, we are all teaching our children from the day they are born. I think homeschooling is a lifestyle that we are already leading.

Homeschooling has some great outcomes too. Homeschooled children statistically do better academically, get higher scores on the SAT, and excel in college.

Here are some of our reasons for wanting to homeschool:

Freedom: By homeschooling I can teach my children in an environment that suits them. We can go out and explore the world. They won't be confined to a desk all day. They can learn with their hands, and experience more outside of a classroom setting. By homeschooling, I can tailor lessons specifically to their interests to make them more appealing and fun. How hard would that be if you were teaching 30 students?

Individualized instruction: Every student learns differently. Some children are visual learners, while others may be musical, tactile, or kinetic learners. As teachers, we are always trying to differentiate the lesson plan to accommodate as many learners as possible so that every child has the best opportunity to learn the material. As you can imagine, it is difficult to meet the needs of every child when there are 30+ students in your classroom with 30 different personalities and needs. As a homeschooler, I know what my child's strengths and weaknesses are. I can work longer on problem areas and give them one-on-one instruction. Doesn't that just sound more productive?

Socialization & Co-Ops: Homeschooled kids are social with people of all different ages, not just a bunch of kids who were born in the same year. By joining a homeschool co-op, you can pull resources and offer children a chance to be social with a diverse group of families. By being part of a co-op, you can team up with other parents so that the children are getting the best teacher for each subject. Let's face it, I would be doing my children a huge disservice if I were to attempt to teach them math.

Bullying & Peer Pressure: Homeschooled children are less likely to experience teasing, bullying, and peer pressure. I remember how difficult the middle school years were for me. I experienced so much pressure from my peers and then I was receiving counter pressure at home from my parents. I remember feeling like I was constantly being torn on two directions. It was so stressful. It wasn't exactly conducive to a good education either. My social circle took a lot of my focus and energy, often resulting in unacceptable grades.

Self Confidence: Statistically, homeschooled kids have less behavioral problems, more self confidence.

Soaring Spirit: I want my children's spirit to be nurtured and fed. I want them to be comfortable in their own skin and to question everything; be independent thinkers. I don't want them to be in an environment that could squash their bright spirits. I don't want them to feel like they need to conform or be untrue to themselves. I want them to be GREAT.

Productivity & Focus: Often, in a public school setting, a teacher will have to deal with behavior issues, resulting in wasted time and less instruction. It's difficult for anyone to focus on classwork or a lesson when there are disruptions from their peers. In a homeschool setting, children can have more focus. A lot more material can be covered in a shorter period of time because the instructor isn't dealing with a lot of behavior issues.

And finally, I love my kids. I would be honored to teach them and spend my days exploring and learning with them. It's a sacrifice, but the rewards and outcome would certainly be worth it.

So there it is, folks. I'm not sure what the future holds for us. There is still a lot to figure out and lots of time to do it. I do know that this is where my heart is. Whether our family can swing living on one income for longer than these first few years is yet to be determined. Things like retirement and a bigger house do need to be financed and saved for, so we shall see. There are certainly wonderful public schools and very qualified, bright teachers out there, too. So, if by chance, we don't homeschool, I am sure we can find a nurturing, open-minded school that would suit their needs just fine.

For now, though, I'll day dream about spending afternoons digging for clams for a Chesapeake Bay science lesson, painting murals in the backyard, and exploring the wonders of the world from our dining room table.

It's Bedtime, Where's The Vodka?

2012-07-12T21:46:00.001-04:00

I'm irritated. I'm flustered. I just want quiet. Solitude. It doesn't matter how many times I put the boys to bed. It doesn't matter how many babies I have to practice with. The secret to having good sleepers eludes me and I hate it. Hate it. I admit, I dread bedtime.

I want it to be full of hugs, and soft kisses, and books, and songs. It's not. It might start that way, but by the end, sometimes three hours later, I'm just annoyed, tired, and wanting everyone to just go to sleep. At those times, I almost wish I hadn't read the bajillion articles about why you shouldn't let your baby cry it out. Those are the times I wish I could ignore my gut because, you know what, babies who were trained with the cry it out method sleep. They sleep well. Mine? Yeah, not so much.

I put the boys in a bath at 7:15 tonight.

By 8pm, they were dried and dressed. Books were read. Cheeks and faces were kissed. Love was passed around liberally.

Massimo was sleeping at 8:20. Score!

Enzo was in his crib, lights out, quietly talking to himself. He was happy.

The occasion where both boys are quiet and down for the night by 9pm is so rare these days. Pablo was working late this evening. I had the house to myself. SAH-WEET!

I came downstairs, almost giddy to have a quiet evening to myself. I go to make myself the vodka tonic I had been dreaming about all evening. I notice the dog peed on the floor. I grunt, say something obscene, and clean it up. Then I noticed it wasn't pee, but something else. Wait, the closet has water on the floor too. Ok, the bathroom is right above this closet. CRAP. I cleaned up the mess, but clearly we have a problem.

Back to that drink. I didn't have a good day. I wanted it; I deserved it. Enzo had bitten Massimo out of frustration 6 times today. He bit him hard. I'm running out of ideas how to address the problem and it's maddening and nothing seems to get the point across that it's not acceptable behavior.

The drink is fixed. I sit down, get cozy, open the laptop, and "WAAAAAAAH!" Massimo's awake. It's 8:50pm. Damn.

I go upstairs to nurse him back to sleep. Enzo starts screaming that he wants a peanut butter sandwich. I'm not surprised. He only picked at his dinner.

Sandwich made. Sippy cup of water provided. Enzo is quiet and Massimo finally back to sleep.

9:40pm. Now, I sit. Vodka. Quiet. Cheers. I hope it lasts. At least for a little while.

There was a lady at the playground with two boys, 16-months apart, who said having two babies so close in age wasn't hard. Yeah, she's an effing liar.

Twelve Months of Massi

2012-07-05T12:38:00.001-04:00

Massimo has changed so much in the past few weeks. He is so much more vocal and is making lots of new sounds. He is likes to use lots of intonation and experiment with the volume and power of his voice. His newest words are up, bubble, ball, and uh oh. He says, "OH MAN!", which is something he got from his big brother.

When Massimo started standing independently over 2 months ago, I thought walking would be right around the corner. Despite his great balance, walking is not something he really cares to do. He can stand up without the assistance of an object to pull up on. He can go from standing to squatting to standing again with no issue. I think he just knows that crawling is faster, easier, and, for the time being, more efficient. In due time...

Massimo loves bouncing the ball back and forth and loves spending time in the pool. He has been playing a lot more with Enzo, too, which has been a lot of fun to watch. I love watching them interact, play, and love each other. Mass has an affinity for food and probably eats double that of his older brother. He still nurses A LOT too, which is something I am trying to cut back on at the moment.

Massimo weights 25 pounds, 6 ounces (95%). He is 31" tall (97%). He has 6 teeth.

Here is a recap of his first year.

Caterpillars

2012-06-27T22:26:00.001-04:00

A friend of mine recently told me about a great butterfly kit that she and her family purchased. The butterfly garden kit, containing the habitat, can be purchased at Insect Lore for $15. It comes with a coupon that you mail in with $5 in order to receive the live caterpillars. It's so easy and worth every single penny. We enjoyed it so much, I think I'll be sending in for another batch of caterpillars soon.

The caterpillars are teeny tiny when they come and they grow big and fat in a matter of days.

Cocoons!!

Once the caterpillars spun into cocoons, I incorporated the book The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle. As you probably know, Eric Carle's illustrations are made of tissue paper collage. I didn't have any tissue paper handy so I improvised by using construction paper. I had Enzo tear the paper into small bits. I had him use a paint brush to glue the modge podge and construction paper over the caterpillar shape on the paper. He also added eyes and took the artistic liberty to add some scribble too.

The entire process took about 10 days.

Unfortunately, we missed the hatching, but we got 5 beautiful butterflies.

We invited some friends over to release them.

There was one butterfly that stuck around, flying close by for about 20 minutes after the release. It let the kids touch it whenever it would land.

The butterfly garden kit was such a wonderful teaching moment for my boys. I enjoyed it just as much as they did and would recommend it to anyone.

Dear Massimo

2012-06-18T13:06:00.001-04:00

Alana Marie Imagery

Dear Massimo,

I struggle to believe that your first birthday is already upon us. It seems like it was only a couple of moons ago that you joined us on that fine summer day, Father's Day.

You have enhanced our family even more than I ever imagined and added a softness that compliments and balances our dynamic perfectly. You have only made my heart swell, and I am amazed by how much it can contain. It grows fatter and happier with each passing day.

You have the most tender heart I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. You crave affection, closeness, and touch and you give love so freely. Your need to be close will surely open you up to great relationships and intimacy. May you always love so openly, never fearing heartache or betrayal. Love deeply, it's worth it.

You are the sweetest, gentlest baby, but always rough, tumbling, and covered in bruises. You are fearless and daring, grinning your spotted smile with excitement as you meet every new adventure with gusto. You dive down slides and stairs, climb without hesitation, and meet every challenge with tenacity.

You are also the quiet observer. You are a thinker; pensive and still. You are curious and determined. Learning and knowing the world around you is of the utmost importance and I caution anyone who stands in your way. May your hunger for adventure and knowledge grow with you forever.

Your spirit and soul shine brightly. Good, pure energy you exude. The world needs more of that so keep on shining, baby boy. Shine on. You inspire me.

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY!

With all my heart,
Your Mama

Currently

2012-06-14T22:06:00.000-04:00

My bloggy friend Randalin, Harvesting Kale, has started a link up. I'm not usually one to link up (out of laziness), but Randalin is doing it, and let's face it, I want to be like her.

The low-down: Use our themes, use your own themes - just tell us what you're "currently" up to! This week our themes are: working on, dreaming of, planning, thinking about, and obsessed with. If you'd like to let us know what someone else is currently up to - your child, your partner, your grandma - we like that too!

Working on: I've been on a mission to teach myself how to sew. I took a beginners class a few months ago and learned how to thread my machine and some other basics. I recently decided I would teach myself how to read a pattern. I want to make a dress! I went to the store, bought my pattern, and some fabric. I chose a pattern that said 1-hour dress. So, in my mind, if the pattern was supposed to take 1 hour to make, my goal was to have it done in 4. Hey, it my first time. I put the boys to bed, opened the pattern, and looked at it. And looked at it. I turned it sideways and looked at it some more. Then, I put it on my dining room table where it has been sitting for 2 weeks. I'll get to it. You Tube tutorials might play a role, but I'll get to it.

Dreaming of: I've been home-sick lately. Home-sick for a home that isn't ours. I haven't found it yet, but I know it exists somewhere. Read about my dream here.

Enzo, on the other hand, has been dreaming of roaring lions with big teef! It's become a thing.

Planning: I have been planning everyone's outfits to wear to our family photo shoot this weekend. Massi is turning 1! I am also figuring out what to buy him. I am thinking a water table and sand box might be in his future.

Thinking about: What will I eat at the farmer's market on Sunday? I usually get a falafel wrap made with everything but the kitchen sink. Last week it had cabbage, strawberries, carrots, beets, some yogurt sauce, and siracha. I dream about it all week.

Obsessed with: Well, I am obsessed with Revlon's lip stain. It's called Just Bitten. It's perfect for a girl who doesn't wear much makeup and is usually covered in kid fluids. I apply this stuff and instantly feel girly and pretty despite my bed-head and eye crusties. Seriously, go buy it.

Enzo's latest obsession is monster trucks. OH. MY. GOD. It's all he talks about. Pablo took him to see the monster truck show two weeks ago. Apparently, there was a monster truck that rolled over. It's a good thing that truck rolled over too. Otherwise, we wouldn't have had anything else in the world to talk about.

A dream

2012-06-14T21:10:00.002-04:00

You pull up to the entrance, a mailbox and small plot of wildflowers greets you as you enter. It's a straight road, the gravel makes a familiar noise as it hits the underside of your car. Clouds of dust billow into to the air and trail behind as you make your way to the house.

Source

The house is modest; small, but full of life. Freshly cleaned white sheets blow in the breeze as children run through them shrieking. There is a large front porch adorned with hanging baskets, snap dragons over flowing from pots, and wind chimes ringing in the summer air. Two rocking chairs sit side by side, the perfect spot for an afternoon glass of lemonade. A woman sits and rocks her baby to sleep, the wooden planks creak with each motion.

The garden next to the house fills the entire side yard and has all the fixin's for a summer feast; corn, squash, tomatoes, watermelon, and strawberries. There's spinach, basil, cilantro, cantaloupe, and even the beginning of a few pumpkins waiting for fall. A scarecrow dressed in flannel and corduroy, assembled by children, keeps the crops company and serves as their protector.

The yard is far and long, green and lush. The perfect place to run and frolic. It's the place where memories are made, games are played, and knees are skinned. The sky above is the color of the bluest eyes, clouds so white and soft, they almost can't be real. Dandelions are plentiful, butterflies flutter, and your bare feet feel the cold of the earth beneath them.

In the back is a small barn, a lazy, sleepy dog lies in the doorway. A rooster pecks at the dirt beneath him. Just inside sits a family of bikes, one has a basket hanging off the front. One of the horse stalls has been cleaned out and turned into an artist studio. An easel stands tall, with splatters of paint and ink. Brushes, hanging wire, pliers, yarn, and other materials cover a table top. A forgotten mason jar full of cloudy water sits undisturbed. Above is a loft, blankets and towels hang from the rafters, creating a fort. It's the perfect spot to tell ghost stories. There are wooden crates for sitting and a stack of old comics. Sometimes at night, you may even find 2 boys in sleeping bags, side by side holding flashlights.

The house, despite it's small size, has plenty of bedrooms. It's open floor plan, makes the lack of space seem larger. Beams of sunlight bathe the wooden floors in bright, happy light and the nearby plants soak up every ounce. The kitchen has lots of room for magic to happen, and around the wooden butchers block is where the family gathers; snacking, picking, chatting. The window sills are lined with almost-ripe tomatoes and the fridge is papered in the drawings of tiny hands.

A bookshelf spans the length of the living room and is lined with books. The different colored spines add splashes of random color. It has everything from Eric Carle to Gabriel Garcia Marquez, and is a treasure at any age. Picture frames sit atop stacks of books displaying the lives of a family; happy and filled with warmth.

This is the space I dream of when I my mind wonders. I dream of feeding my family food that I grew, teaching my children everything they need to know to have a successful, fulfilling, and meaningful life. I dream of living without the hustle, smog, and ugliness city living can sometimes offer.

I dream of my children riding their bikes and playing with the dog while I watch smiling. I dream of dirty feet and fingernails crusted with mud. I long for fresh air and sunshine. I long for space and big skies.

This is my dream.

Circumcision: Let's Cut To The Truth

2012-06-12T09:18:00.001-04:00

This post is not to judge, and it is certainly not intended to shame or guilt families who have chosen circumcision. Sifting through, and differentiating the facts versus the myths related to circumcision can be a daunting task. This is to assist families in finding the information they need to make an informed, educated decision.

"When we know better, we do better." -Maya Angelou

source

Circumcision, the surgical removal of the foreskin from the penis, is most commonly performed on newborns. The foreskin, containing a comparable amount of nerve endings to a clitoris, is a highly sensitive, functioning part of the male anatomy. It's purpose is to protect the glans, or the head of the penis from abrasions and to keep dirt and bacteria from the urinary tract. During the procedure,the baby's arms and legs are restrained using a circumstraint. The foreskin is clamped and forcibly separated from the head of the penis, something that is not supposed to happen until adolescence, when it occurs naturally. This premature separation can cause damage to the glans and is extremely painful for the newborn. Once separated, the foreskin is cut, and pushed back to expose the head of the penis. A vice-like device is then slipped over the penis and tightened until the foreskin is removed.

A baby in a circumstraint. Photo from www.intactivists.blogspot.com

RISKS
This procedure, which has been documented to have no medical value and to be for cosmetic purposes only, is not without risks. Every parent choosing to proceed with circumcision should be fully aware of those risks:

Concealed penis after circumcision. Source

Hemorrhage. The foreskin and penis is a highly vascularized area that contains a significant amount of blood flow. It is not unlikely for a vein to be nicked during the circumcision procedure, resulting in blood loss. It doesn't take much blood for a baby to bleed to death. A newborn only has a total of 11.5 ounces of blood. That's just shy of a cup-and-a-half. A newborn only needs to lose 1 ounce to hemorrhage, and 2.3 ounces, a shot glass, to bleed to death. You can read more about it here from DrMomma.org.
Removing too much of the foreskin. A baby's penis is so small, it can be difficult to determine where to cut. When some of the skin on the shaft is accidentally removed, it results in a wound that is unable to heal and is extremely painful for the child. Sadly, this happens entirely too often. (Read about two families stories here and here) Just recently, a mohel accidentally cut off a third of a baby's penis in a circumcision ritual, nearly killing the baby. Mistakes like this happen, often taking several surgeries to repair, if repair is even possible. In some instances, the child will be affected by a botched circumcision for the rest of their life.
Shock, stress, and a poor breastfeeding relationship. Circumcision is usually done with no pain relief. Such a traumatic experience in the first few days of life can leave a baby emotionally damaged, often causing shock, and a poor breastfeeding relationship. Some may say that a lack of crying means the baby is not in pain, when in reality they are in a state of shock in an effort to avoid or escape the pain. Cortisol levels, a stress hormone, are 3-4 times higher during circumcision than prior to the procedure. It is also thought that the pain and trauma from undergoing circumcision may impact the child's response to pain or stress throughout their life. Canadian investigators report that during vaccinations at age 4-6 months, circumcised boys had an increased behavioral pain response and cried for significantly longer periods than did intact boys. For more information about this click here.

BEFORE CIRCUMCISION Source

AFTER CIRCUMCISION Source

Risk of infection. This is obvious. An open wound, a dirty diaper... you get the picture.
Sexual repercussions. The foreskin has 20,000 sexual nerve endings and is extremely sensitive to the touch. The penis is designed to slide in and out of the vagina smoothly as the foreskin rolls back and forth. Many women report painful intercourse as a result of their circumcised partners feeling the need to thrust their brains out in order to achieve orgasm. When the foreskin is removed, the head of the penis begins to develop a thick layer of skin to protect it, making it much less sensitive. As a result, circumcised men are 4.5 times more likely to have issues with erectile dysfunction. Most American men are circumcised. They make up 5% of the world's population yet are responsible for 46% of Viagra sales. Impotence in adult males can be a direct consequence of circumcision. Watch a great explanation of this and the role of the foreskin in the video below.

Death. 117 babies die each year as a result of circumcision. You may think that 117 is not very many and the risk of circumcision must be low. Tell the mother of one of those 117 babies that circumcision isn't risky. I'm sure she'll beg to differ. There are 117 deaths every year that are COMPLETELY PREVENTABLE.

MYTHS & OTHER MISINFORMATION

The Getting-Teased-In-The-Locker-Room argument: In 2009, the circumcision rate in the US dropped to 32.5%. If this trends continues, circumcised boys will be the minority in the locker room.

Intact penises get infected often and cause problems: Infections in intact males are rare. If, by chance, an infection does occur, they are treatable with antibiotics. You don't remove normally functioning body parts because they "may" get infected. My toenail may get infected. Should I remove it now in an effort to avoid the hassle? No. If it does get infected, I will treat it appropriately at that time. A penis deserves the same courtesy.

Circumcision prevents HIV/AIDS & other STDs: The United States has one of the highest incidence of HIV/AIDS, yet we are the only country that routinely circumcises male babies. Teach your boys to wear a condom, instill in them good judgement, and leave their penises alone.

Intact penises are dirty and difficult to care for: A foreskin doesn't separate from the head of the penis until adolescence, sometime between 5 and 15 years of age. Until this separation occurs, you only need to clean the outside of the penis. You clean it just as you would any other part of your body. In fact, a circumcised penis is more difficult to clean and care for during diapering.

FACTOIDS ABOUT CIRCUMCISION

Originally, the goal of circumcision was to desensitize the penis to curb masturbation. Dr. Kellogg, inventor of the corn flakes, was a major promoter of the procedure.

A Jewish film maker took a deeper look into circumcision with the film, Cut.

Just this year, Colorado lawmakers voted against funding circumcision with medicaid dollars.

The average adult foreskin consists of 1½ inches of outer skin, 1½ inches of inner mucosal lining – totaling a length of 3 inches – and is 5 inches in circumference when erect. This amounts to a surface area of 15 square inches, or a surface area equivalent to that of a 3" by 5" inch index card!

Circumcision is not routinely practiced in most countries. In fact, The United States is the ONLY country where circumcision is done routinely for non-religious reasons. Other than it being a Muslim and Jewish cultural practice, it is a very American practice. More than 80% of the world's men are intact, with roughly 60% of Americans being circumcised.

The Bottom Line
CIRCUMCISION IS A HUMAN RIGHTS ISSUE. It's unethical. After reviewing 40 years of research, it has been determined by the American Academy of Pediatrics that circumcision has no medical benefit. It is not your penis, it is not your right. You would certainly scuff if someone wanted to cut a baby girl's genitalia. People talk all the time of female genital mutilation and how appalling it is. How is cutting off a baby boy's foreskin any different? It's still mutilation and it has no purpose.

If you were to strap down an intact adult male and cut the foreskin of his penis off against his will, we would all it torture. We would be appalled and call it inhumane. We'd be protesting in the streets. So why is it acceptable to do this to an infant who can't speak up? Every single circumcision, 100%, is done without the consent of the person it will impact forever.

It's not your penis, it's not your choice to make, plain and simple.

Any parent who is considering circumcision should at least watch the procedure in full. If a baby is going to undergo circumcision, the parents should have an idea of what it entails. Below is a video of an infant circumcision. It is important to watch the video with the sound turned up. I warn you, the content in the video is graphic and extremely difficult to watch. After over 2 years of researching circumcision for my family, I have just finally been able to get through the entire procedure. If you are asking your baby to go through this, shouldn't you, at least, be able to sit through it too?

Do you want to continue researching circumcision? Here is a list of accurate resources:

A list of intact-friendly doctors

The Whole Network

http://intactivists.blogspot.com/

What does Dr. Sears say?

Saving Our Sons

Jews Against Circumcision

Locks

2012-06-10T13:54:00.001-04:00

Growing my hair out, for the purpose of chopping it all off in one fell, dramatic swoop, is something I have done countless times. There is something so liberating, so exhilarating about cutting off several inches of hair. Every time, it's like removing a burden that weighs 30-pounds.

The moment those sheers slice through those pony tails, it was like the shackles had been broken. Maybe that sounds trite, but it makes me feel free, alive. Cutting away the old hair for a new, fresh look is something I really needed, mentally.

The last time I cut my hair short was after Enzo was born. A few months later, I decided to grow it out. That was two years ago.

Today was the day. It had to come off...

Before

After

It's packaged and ready to ship to Pantene's hair donation program.

Our Weekend of Hard Knocks

2012-06-04T22:34:00.001-04:00

The weather was gorgeous here this past weekend. It was perfect; cool, sunny. I was looking forward to the farmer's market and a possible picnic. My mom was in town, which is always a treat, and my family and I were really excited about a great weekend with Grams.

While I was carrying Massimo down the steps on Saturday morning, I fell. It was a pretty hard fall and Massimo got out of my grip. I watched, in slow motion, as his head hit the step below and his little body flipped over onto the floor below. He screamed, I screamed, and Enzo was so freaked that he screamed, too.

I picked my screaming baby up and cradled him, while pulling Enzo close to try and console them both. I worked really hard at being cool (probably unsuccessfully), which was difficult because I was certain, due to the pop I heard and felt as I fell, that I broke something in my foot.

I sat there, at the foot of the steps, scared and in pain, and was so grateful that Massimo wasn't hurt. It could have been so much worse. We were so lucky.

Luckily, after a few x-rays, it was determined that my foot was not broken. It was too swollen to determine if something more serious was wrong, but by the looks of it, I think I will be fine. I am improving every day. Massimo has a black eye to commemorate the incident. He looks like a rough customer.

Everyone thought I hurt my ankle because the injury looked like an ankle. Nope, it was my foot.

My boy with the beginnings of a shiner. He's so tough.

An hour after I got home from the hospital, Enzo was pushing his monster truck around the house. It got out from under him, making him fall. On his face. Busting his lip wide open. It was a very bizarre day indeed.

Despite all the bumps, and bruises, and blood, we really did end up having a great weekend. It was a little more house-bound than I had hoped, but hey, if you're going to be at home, there's no one better to be there with than your family; cut, scrapes, and all.

Beach. Water Pump. Tires.

2012-05-24T22:54:00.002-04:00

Like many of you, we have really been taking advantage of the warm weather and sunshine this spring. Luckily, we live in a city with lots of surrounding water. Lots of water means lots of beaches. We have already been to the beach several times this season and though it's not the ocean, it still has water and lots of sand for the kids to enjoy.

Enzo doesn't think much of the water at the beach despite his adoration for pools and the bath tub. However, Massi will bulldoze his way into the surf and laugh as it smacks him in the face. He's a fearless one, that kid. Enzo is just as happy with his dump truck in the sand and a PB&J in his hand.

One particular beach is located in a state park that has a playground made solely from recycled tires. Considering Enzo's love for monster trucks and all things that go, you can imagine how much he liked this place. It comes complete with a water pump, too, which is just gravy for that little boy.

Here are some photos from our most recent trips.

A 3rd Anniversary: Music Edition

2012-05-22T22:11:00.000-04:00

I spent countless hours trying to plan the music for our wedding. I'm still not sure I got it right. I went back and forth so many times. Music is so important to me and I wanted it to play an integral role in our ceremony and reception, avoiding the traditional wedding music. As Pablo and I approach our third wedding anniversary tomorrow, I thought I'd share some of our ceremony music.

This is an exciting anniversary for us. Since it's the first anniversary where we haven't either just have had a baby or have been on the brink of birthing a baby, we can really celebrate. We've had a busy few years and we've worked hard. I think we deserve to celebrate in style. I can't wait to spend the day with my family; a outing with the boys, a picnic. Most of all, I am looking forward to a very nice dinner out, just he and I. No butts to wipe, no milk to clean up, no booster seats. Just me and Pablo and some delicious food and wine. Yeah, wine.

Procession of the Groomsmen

Procession of the Bridesmaids- Happy Ever After Is In Your Eyes, Ben Harper (no video available)

HERE COMES THE BRIDE!

The recessional.

Mentally Preparing for Birth

2012-05-07T11:06:00.001-04:00

From my personal experience, mentally preparing for birth is just as important, and maybe even more important than physical preparation. We exercise and eat right to prepare for birth. We make playlists and pack bags for overnights stays. We set up nurseries and buy all the baby goods necessary for making a new baby comfy and happy.

I firmly believe in the power of positive thinking, something I think is absolutely necessary for preparing your mind for the trials of the birth experience. These are a few tips that helped me in my journey to a natural birth.

Source

Stop watching A Baby Story, One Born Every Minute, or any other reality birth show.
The idea that your body is broken and incapable of giving birth is just perpetuated and exacerbated in these types of shows. They rarely, if ever, show a woman having a natural birth and they instill fear by showing women screaming and crying and being wheeled off to surgery. These shows do a great job of making moms terrified to have what should be a normal and natural experience.

During my first pregnancy, I would watch these shows hoping to get a glimpse of what was in store for me. I remember the excitement for my upcoming birth fizzled and was replaced by anxiety and nerves. One day while watching Discovery Health, I heard birth compared to forcing a softball down your throat. The visual of that really hit me in the gut. What they failed to mention, and what I had to be reminded of, is that the throat-sized canal was made to stretch for the sole purpose of allowing the softball to pass! At that moment, I decided I was going to change the channel and never turn it back to that sort of programming ever again.

Remember, fear impacts birth greatly. Just change the channel. You do not need to be a victim of our negative birth culture.

Read positive birth stories.
Allow yourself to be surrounded by beautiful births that prove your body is designed perfectly and that you are strong and born to do this. You grew your baby perfectly, you can birth that way too. By wrapping yourself in other people's positive stories you will find that that is actually what a normal birth experience looks like, not the dramatic, torturous births you see in the media. If you need help finding great birth stories, go to these sites: Birth Without Fear and Mama Birth

Take a class and educate yourself.
Educate yourself on your options and ask lots of questions. The more you know, the stronger and more confident you will feel. The more educated you are, the less likely it is that you will be bullied or scared into doing something you don't want to do such as induction or medication.

Read affirmations over and over.
And over. And over. It's all about what you say when you talk to yourself. When you feel doubt, acknowledge it. Tell yourself something positive that counteracts the doubt and move on. Print the affirmations. Tape them to your bathroom mirror, on your fridge, and at your computer. You can read some of my favorite affirmations here and here.

Watch birth videos that give you goosebumps.
This is one of my favorite feel good videos. Get your Kleenex. Here is a great VBAC story.

Talk to your baby.
Lay in bed at night or anytime your are quiet and alone. Place your hands on your belly and feel your little one's soft movements. Really make an effort to connect to your baby. Envision your baby snug inside your cozy womb. Have a pep talk with your little one. Tell him (or her) that you can't wait to meet him. Tell him you will work with him to make sure his transition into the world is gentle. Ask him to work with you, too, by getting into an optimal position. Together, as a team, you and your baby will meet each other earthside. .

Let go.
Let go and let your body do what it was made to do. Don't fight it. Relax. Trust the process. Trust yourself. Hypnobirthing can be a great tool to accomplishing this.

May you have a beautifully peaceful birthing experience full of power, strength, love, confidence, and family.

The Latest

2012-05-04T22:24:00.000-04:00

I have been awfully quiet here at Cluster Love lately. There are many reasons, but I have certainly missed this place and am eager to get back into it in full swing.

Here's the scoop:

A few weeks ago, I came across an album on my Google+ profile, a site I NEVER use. It had lots of pictures I wasn't comfortable having on there, so I deleted it. What I failed to realize is that the album was actually every single photo for every single post on my blog. EVERY.SINGLE.PICTURE. from the year-and-a-half of blogging was gone. To say I was heartbroken is an understatement. I was devastated. I have been working on repairing the blog, but it is really very time consuming and daunting. I have uploaded photos to top posts amd through October of 2011. Only 8 more months of blog posts to go before it's finished. (A very special thank you to the reader who gave me very specific instructions on how to go about fixing the issue. You know who you are. You are appreciated!)

Massimo is now 10 months old. He is a raging terror and I say that lovingly with a smile. He is so very busy all the time and works at lightning speed. He has begun to stand independently and I anticipate a step in the near future. He has just gotten his bottom two teeth. It was a pretty painless process, thankfully. Massi says ball and mama, and says hello when he holds the phone to his ear. He gives kisses on demand and they are soft and totally yummy. At his doctor's appointment one month ago he weighed 23.5 lbs and was 31". I suspect he has gained at least a pound since then. He is an eater. Massi is a very attached child, constantly giving love and needing it in return. He is a snuggler and a low-key, chill little boy. He makes all my bad days better.

Enzo weighed 31 lbs at his last appointment and was 36" tall. He turned 2 in late March and we threw a great birthday party for him at a local farm. All the kids rode on a cow train, visited the petting farm, and got to ride on a pony.

Photo by Evan Vucci

Enzo is talking so well and amazes me everyday with a new phrase or expression. Having him around is a great reminder about the things that come out of my own mouth. Having someone who likes to repeat every word can make you more disciplined and aware of your language.

I think I have said this before, but he is a very strong willed child. This trait often lends itself to frustration and friction, but, at the end of the day, I am so proud of who he is becoming. He is kind and empathetic. He gives love so freely and without hesitation and he shows remorse when he has done something hurtful or wrong. He is a passionate little person with a big personality and a large heart. Enzo beats to his own drummer, never caring about what the group is doing. I hope this quality stays with him always.

Photo by Evan Vucci

Enzo loves the moon, dirt, horses, and his brother. I wish he liked TV a little less and admit he probably watches entirely too much of it. He is an outdoors-man. He loves to be outside and begs to go, even if it is just to go on the front porch. He loves sand and dirt, and in a huge field of grass he will find even the smallest bare patch to roll in and get dirty. Have I told you about his love of music? Yeah, love. He is very particular about it, too. He requests certain songs be turned up and he demands that certain songs be turned off entirely. The head bop in the car is my favorite.

My business as a placenta encapsulation specialist has really begun to gain steam. I am consistently getting business and I absolutely love meeting new babies and helping their mamas (and papas) during their special postpartum time. I really believe in placenta encapsulation and am thrilled to be helping families in my community here in Baltimore.

Pablo and I are still on a mission to get CPMs legal and licensed in Maryland. The bill that was introduced back in March did not pass. However, it will be revised and introduced to the House and the Senate in January. This past weekend we went to Salisbury, MD to work at a festival. The goal was to get people in that community to sign the petition. In 6 hours we were able to get 60 signatures in support of the bill! I'd say that's successful, wouldn't you?

While in Salisbury, Massimo got into a cupboard and found the blade to my mom's food processor. This discovery led to 5 stitches in his palm. It was the first of many emergency room visits, I'm sure, but it was the most heartbreaking experience of my life as a mother. I have never felt so unbelievably horrible and irresponsible. It's healing nicely and his stitches will come out this weekend. See, I told you he was fast.

So there you have it. I hope each of you is having a lovely spring. I hope your flowers have bloomed and there is lots of sunshine in your corner of the world!

Warmly,

Carmen

You Just Gave Birth, Now REST!

2012-05-02T17:53:00.001-04:00

There are many, many misconceptions in our culture related to birth and, unfortunately, none of them are in women's favor.

For starters we, as women, are told to fear birth. Our bodies are incapable of giving birth to our babies, making birth an emergent, traumatic, and dramatic event. Then, we are often told by hospital staff that we probably won't make enough milk to feed the baby our magnificent bodies just created and grew for the past nine months. We are handed a bag full of Nestle samples and told that it's OK if we feed our babies formula. And then there's the misconception that giving birth is no reason to lay around. Throughout the entire process, we are set up for failure.

We are BOMBARDED with images of postpartum celebs on the cover of every magazine. They are always in a bikini with the title, How I Got My Body Back in 6 Weeks. The message that is constantly being screamed at women is clear; birth is not important and healing and bonding aren't either. Your ass, yeah, that's what we really care about. Ladies, get up and get back to work. But don't forget you have to stop by the gym on your way to run 2 miles. Wouldn't want any of that dreadful baby weight hanging around past 2 weeks postpartum, right?

WRONG.

Giving birth is a HUGE physiological event that requires lots and lots of rest. This rest facilitates healing, but it also promotes bonding with your baby, and establishing a breastfeeding relationship. In fact, it is customary in Indonesia for a woman to rest for the first 40 days postpartum and there are similar practices around the globe.

NO NEW MOTHER HAS ANY BUSINESS EXERCISING OR DOING ANY HEAVY LIFTING IN THE FIRST SEVERAL WEEKS AFTER GIVING BIRTH.

When I had both of my children I was told to stay in bed for the entire first week. The second week, I was encouraged to stay around the vicinity of the bed and the third week I was finally able to go downstairs. After giving birth to a ten-pound baby, no one had to tell me twice to stay in bed and rest for a week. I was sore and tired, and to be honest, my guts didn't feel very secure when I went to the bathroom or walked around. As your muscles are getting stronger and healing, it is important to listen to your body and be still. The more you move around and do prematurely, the more at-risk you are for prolapse. The more you move around, the more you bleed.

You may hear the argument that women working in the fields around the world squat, give birth, and go right back to work with the baby on their back. Here's my response to that: Those women work immediately after giving birth out of necessity and many of them hemorrhage to death as a result.

The notion that what you just accomplished and went through is not a big deal and doesn't warrant lots of pampering and rest is disgusting to me. Honor your body and reward it with rest for what it just did for you.

So yeah, I don't care how good Tony Romo's wife looks at three weeks postpartum. I'd rather be lounging in yoga pants watching my baby nurse.

The Nurturing Root, Baltimore, Maryland

2012-04-15T21:27:00.001-04:00

I am so excited to announce that I have officially launched my own placenta encapsulation business, The Nurturing Root! I am offering a variety of placenta encapsulation services to women throughout Maryland. I am serving Baltimore, Annapolis, and Eastern Shore communities.

Take a minute and check out the website and follow The Nurturing Root on Facebook and Twitter.

Benefits of Placenta Encapsulation

Placenta Prints

A healing salve that can be used on cuts and scrapes, cradle cap, parineal tears, cesarean scars, diaper rash, and more!

Are We Done?

2012-03-30T12:37:00.010-04:00

I have moments when I am flustered, stressed, and usually dealing with
two screaming babies when I think there is no way I could possibly
have any more children. On these days, I am at max capacity and every
ounce of patience and compassion has been utilized. On these days,
motherhood gets its grip on me and digs its vampire-like teeth into my
neck, leaving me depleted of energy and spirit. It can suck me dry.

Conversely, I also have days when everything is remarkably perfect. On
these days, things just roll along, everyone's happy and in love. On
these particular days; days when I am so consumed with my family; days
when I am brimming with joy and love, nearly about to explode from the
fulfillment of spending all my time with these little nuggets of
happiness, I cant even begin to imagine not adding another baby to our
cluster.

I have heard from so many people that they feel like they love their
child so much they can't imagine having enough love left over for
another baby. From the minute I became a mother I had the complete
adverse reaction. The all-encompassing love I felt for Enzo was like a
drug. I was so baby-stoned and it was the most intense and amazing
high I had ever felt. All I knew is I wanted more of that feeling. It
was so much bigger than anything I had imagined or ever experienced.
It's no wonder I was pregnant 5 months later.

Luckily for me, the good days far out number the bad ones. While I am
in no way ready for more children at the moment, I have no idea what
the future holds. I will say I am certainly open to being a mother of
three at some point. My husband? Now that's a different story.

In any case, how it turns out is exactly as it's meant to be. Only
time will tell. Until then, I'm going to enjoy and kiss on the two I
have.

Sometimes Being 2 Stinks

2012-03-24T20:59:00.002-04:00

As we approach Enzo's second birthday we are noticing distinct changes in his behavior and attitude. I would guess we are entering into what some call the Terrible Twos, although I hesitate to use that phrase. Even though I am at times finding myself gritting my teeth or stopping dead in my tracks to take deep breaths so that I don't flip my lid, I really find the term terrible twos to be negative, and frankly, inaccurate. My child is not terrible even on his worst day, and actually, this phase can be exciting and filled with discovery and fun.

I will admit, though, that I am finding this age to be a challenge. In fact, some days I find it to be downright impossible. Sometimes I wish I could just push the pause button as if life were somehow controlled by this magical remote control.

As most toddlers, Enzo is pushing limits. For a child who is already headstrong and extremely independent, this phase of life has led to frustration and many heartbroken sobs. He is so passionate about everything; what he wants, what he dislikes, what he is absolutely in love with. Patience has yet to be learned and everything is on one timeline; his, and it has to be NOW.

I definitely have days where everything is met with resistance, tears, and screams; getting out of his PJs, getting in the car, then getting out of the car, coming inside for lunch, and getting out of the bath tub are only a few. It seems like the past few weeks have been one fit after another, constantly struggling with my toddler. It is absolutely exhausting, and honestly, sometimes I feel like a complete failure.

However, as frustrated as I am, imagine how it must be for a toddler who is learning his way around the world. Everything is frustrating for them. IMAGINE, you haven't quite learned the concept of patience and a minute seems like an eternity. This eternity is unbearable when you are desperately waiting for something you so strongly need or desire. You want independence so badly yet sometimes you need help, even though it seems like you'd rather struggle and cry than accept it. Your entire life is on someone else's timeline and schedule. As a toddler, you don't understand the ways of the world yet and you certainly don't understand the reasoning behind many of the NOs.

But why can't I swim in the coin pool at the mall?

Why can't I sit with the Easter Bunny for the entire afternoon? Who cares that there is a line wrapped around the food court?

Why can't I go to Target in my fleece footy pajamas with my Adidas on my feet?

Why can't I pour my milk all over the dinner table and splash it all over Daddy's padfolio?

Why can't I chase the dog around the house with my monster truck? She's not that scared.

As frustrating as this cycle is for me, I imagine it is even more daunting for my growing toddler. Even on days when I am at the end of my rope and barely holding on, I try really hard to meet him where he is. I can't imagine having to learn an entire language, social structure, rules of the house, self control, independence, and patience in such a short period of time.

So no, being two isn't terrible. It's just really hard.

Midwifery in Maryland

2012-03-19T22:22:00.000-04:00

Here in Maryland, there is a maternal health care crisis. Unfortunately, at this time, Certified Professional Midwives (CPM), are not licensed or legal, leaving many families who wish to birth outside of a hospital setting without options. We do have Certified Nurse Midwives (CNM), but there are few who attend out-of-hospital births, and the ones that do can not keep up with the demand of families seeking their care. To add to the difficulty of finding out-of-hospital care, the Board of Nursing (BON) has also been cracking down on homebirth Certified Nurse Midwives and most of them have had their licenses revoked in the past year.

Do I think the BON is going out of their way to penalize homebirth midwives? Absolutely.

That's not all. The CNMs who are fighting to have their licenses reinstated have to go up against the BON, which does not have 1 midwife on the panel. Their careers are in the hands of nurses with no midwifery experience. Seem fair? I didn't think so either.

An organization called Maryland Families for Safe Birth has been diligently working to get a bill introduced that would make CPMs legal in Maryland. The bill would allow CPMs to be licensed and regulated so that Maryland families can have access to skilled care during their pregnancy and birth. With the shortage of midwives who are willing to attend homebirths, many families are opting to deliver their babies at homes unassisted. This bill would make birth safer for women who are committed to birthing at home.

As a women, I am outraged that I am having my birth rights and my birth options stripped from me. I should be able to have my child wherever I see fit. As a homebirther, I had the most pure, empowered, and moving experience of my life. It saddens me and breaks my heart that other women don't even have the option.

Last week, the bill went up against the Maryland House Health and Government Committee. It is important for the committee to vote for the bill so that it can get passed to the rest of the House, the Senate, and ultimately, the Governor.

The morning of the hearing I met with the Chair of the committee. He is my delegate and I wanted to personally ask for his support and give him a face to remember when it comes time for him to vote. I handed him a thick packet of papers which were full of names of people in his district who signed the petition. It was important to me that he knows how important this is to his constituents and other families in our state. I'm not sure I made a difference, but I certainly hope so.

My husband; my sweet, supportive husband, volunteered and was selected to testify at the hearing. He was one of seven Marylanders chosen and he was the only male. He gave his testimony, telling the delegates why we chose to have our care provided by a midwife and why we opted for a homebirth. I was so incredibly proud of him for stepping up and telling our story.

There was also a rally that morning in front of the state house. I made the boys t-shirts with iron-on decals and a tote bag for our snacks.

Enzo had a fabulous time and made so many friends. There were children everywhere adorned in pro-homebirth/midwife shirts. He was a dirty little mess by 10am from playing in the dirt and swinging from trees.

It was a lovely day with my family. We were exhausted by the end, but it was worth it. Our hearts were full knowing we were a part of the cause, hopefully making Maryland history.

Our family will continue to support this effort in any way that we can. It's too important not to.

Stay tuned...

The Placenta Blog

2012-03-03T12:14:00.000-05:00

I wanted to let everyone know that I recently started blogging for Placenta Benefits (PBi). If you are not familiar with Placenta Benefits, it is a wonderful network that offers placenta encapsulation services to postpartum mamas. Placenta Benefits also offers a comprehensive training program to those who wish to help postpartum mothers feel their best during their recovery from birth. I am truly proud to be a part of this movement and urge you to read more about it on the PBi website. If you are pregnant and interested in placenta encapsulation click here to find a specialist in your area.

My goal is to post 2-3 posts per week related to placenta research and health topics related to mothers and babies. If you typically like my posts related to birth and maternal health you may want to take a peak at The Placenta Blog.

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