Back in June, Sister D shaved my hair the morning after my first chemo cycle.  In fact a few days later, Karl shaved his hair in solidarity.  (Miss you Karl!)

When I think about that morning now there’s one thing that sticks out in my memory…courage.  I remember the courage it took to have my younger sister shave off all of my hair.  It also took courage to record it and post it on the Internet.

Since that time I’ve been wearing turbans on my head and occassionally I wear a wig.  But recently my hair has started growing back in.  Just a little bit and it’s white in some places.  Me, with white hair!

Well, the other night I asked Dude if he could track down a certain black turban upstairs.  He said “sure” and as he started to go upstairs he asked if I was going to put the black turban on because if I was he wanted the one that was on my head to take upstairs with him.

Normally I don’t like anyone to see me without anything covering my head.  I have to ask myself , “Don’t you have any courage?”

I took the turban off and handed it to Dude.

“Look!  You have hair!  It’s starting to grow back.”

“But I look so ugly!!!”

My husband came over to me and gave me a huge hug and told me that I was beautiful.  He insisted that I stop wearing turbans immediately.  I…

And we had 77 people at Lisa’s virtual memorial on Saturday. Glad that lots of you were there.

I know many of us cannot make it to Lisa’s funeral on Saturday. I’ve been reading loads of comments and emails from people who wish they could go. I thought a virtual memorial service might be the way to go for many of us.

I hope you’ll join us this Saturday afternoon at 4:00 PM Eastern, 1:00  PM Pacific, for a special show dedicated to sharing stories about Lisa. It’s a talk show at Talkshoe.com, where you can come, join in the chatroom action, call in to the show and talk about Lisa, and listen to many of Lisa’s friends do the same.

We’ll also raise more donations for Lisa’s family during the show.

If you’re not familiar with Talkshoe, go register now. It’s a fast sign-up that’ll make things much easier for you to join the show Saturday afternoon.

I’ve scheduled for two hours, though we’ll run as long as we need to.

Showtime: 4:00 PM Eastern, Saturday, March 7

Link for the show

Call in number: 724-444-7444

Please spread the word. I hope to see you there.

EDIT: Thanks to @cheekysweetie for pointing me in this direction…you can now have meals delivered to Lisa’s family through Make & Take Gourmet, which is in their local area.

Call 610-376-2006, ask for Kimberly. Tell them you’d like to have a meal delivered to Lisa Kelly’s house. Meals with 1 entree and 2 sides start at $25. They have Lisa’s address, you just have to mention what day you’d like the meal delivered. I scheduled a delivery for Friday and I know John and the girls can use all the home-cooked meals they can get.

EDIT: From John (Dude) via email:

Karl, I am sending the link to Lisa’s obituary that appeared in today’s paper. I’d also like to send out a special thank you to everyone that has donated and for all of the kind words that I’ve been reading, not only on Clusterfook, but on blogs all across the country. It brings a smile to our faces when we see how many lives that Lisa has touched and the huge impact she has made on other cancer patients as well.

Here is the obituary. There’s also a guestbook you can sign at the above obituary site.

Lisa A. (Gift) Kelly

Lisa A. (Gift) Kelly, 42, passed away of natural causes Feb. 27, 2009, in her residence.

She was the wife of John.

Born in Meadowbrook, she was a daughter of Harrison William Gift III, Fort Washington, and Dolores (Dorsey) Krasnoff, Exeter Township.

She was a wife and mother.

She was a member of Immaculate Conception Roman Catholic Church, Douglassville.

She was a volunteer with the American Cancer Society. She was a graduate of DeVry University, Fort Washington.,

Surviving in addition to her father and mother are two daughters, Cameron and Christine, both at home.

Other survivors include her paternal grandmother, Florence (Thomas) Gift, Lower Gwynedd; her stepmother, Dolores M. (Wilson) Gift, Fort Washington; and her stepfather, Arthur S. Krasnoff, Exeter Township.

There is also her sister, Danielle M. Gift, Blacksburg, Va.

A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated Saturday at 1 p.m. in Immaculate Conception RC Church, 905 Chestnut St., Douglassville. There will be no viewing. Burial will be in Immaculate Conception Church Cemetery.

In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to the American Cancer Society, Berks Unit, 498 Bellevue Ave., Reading, PA 19605. Dengler Funeral Home Inc., 144 N. Spruce St., Birdsboro, is in charge of arrangements.

Here are the funeral arrangements for Lisa for those that wish to go or send flowers.

Lisa Gift Kelly

Saturday, March 7th

1:00 PM

Immaculate Conception church, 905 Chestnut St, Douglasville, PA

DONATIONS

Right, thanks to all of you that have emailed me and left comments requesting a way to donate to Lisa’s family. There are a couple of ways to go about this:

Use the Donation Button on Lisa’s Donations page. I’ve changed the Paypal address over to her husband’s address so he has access to the account.

Flowers are wonderful, of course, but for those that want to donate to causes close to Lisa’s heart, perhaps you’d care to view the list of organizations on her Ovarian Cancer page. A donation in her name would be great.

I hope this gives you a couple of options for those of you that want to do something more. John appreciates all the kind words and support. He says the girls are doing well.

RIP, Lisa. You’re missed already.

So for now, please don’t use the Donations page because I don’t know if Dude will have access to the money.

I think we’ll strive to get a new Paypal account in the near future for those that wish to help financially. Right now, Dude is really sick with a stomach virus, so the last thing he wants to do is set up bank routing information with Paypal.

Be patient and we’ll figure something out. He sounds like he’s in agony, Dude, and says he thinks Lisa is actually doing better off than he is at the moment.

For now, lots of prayers and good wishes are plenty.

After a couple of voicemails left for Lisa and not hearing back, which is unusual for her, I called the Dude a little bit ago and found out the reason. She’s not going to be returning phone calls any more, nor emails. No more Tweets from her.

She’s in the final, final stages now, people. So out of her mind with pain and drugs that she often doesn’t even recognize her husband or children. Dude says it’ll be “lucky” if she makes it through the weekend, though he also says it’ll be luckier if God takes her away sooner. She’s that bad.

I’d been riding her to get a “last post” done, but it doesn’t look like that happened. There’s a fragment of a post she was working on, which I’ll post here soon, but there won’t be any more posts from Lisa beyond that.

Those of you that live locally to Lisa and her fam, I know Dude and the kids would appreciate any meals brought over, since the last thing on Dude’s mind is cooking dinner right now. Everything is on hold now, just waiting for the final moment, and Dude is doing everything he can just to keep it together.

He says that the kids are taking it much better than he is.

My heart is just breaking. From here on out, I won’t be posting updates about Lisa on my blog…I’ll keep you posted here, of course. I’ve been getting an inordinate amount of traffic and email from you folks hoping to hear news. I answer it all, but it may not be instantaneous.

If you’re of the praying sort, pray that Lisa doesn’t suffer much more. Pray for her family.

Anyway, Karl is flying from Florida after his first flight was cancelled and his second flight was delayed.  You see Karl has Power of Blog, a term we coined on his radio show last summer.  A term I never thought we’d have to exercise.

You see we were having a discussion about what happens to our blogs in the event that we pass away?  Who notifies the blogosphere?  In a lot of cases our spouses don’t blog or know the first thing about WordPress (or other blogging platforms).  Thus “Power of Blog” was born.

I asked Karl to take Power of Blog in the event that I pass away.  I never thought he would come close to exercising it.  Last week Dude asked me for Karl’s telephone number so that he could call him when I do pass away.  Karl has admin access to my blog and he can inform you that I’ve died and post my last post.

That’s all the technical stuff, in case you were wondering what happens to Clusterfook after I’m gone.  Karl can do what he wants from there.

It will be Dude’s decision as to whether he prints parts of my blog for the girls.

Back to Karl and his visit.  I just spoke to him and he’s on his way to my house.  From reading the post that he wrote earlier today he’s having a tough time dealing with death.  I’m very proud of him for coming here to face it head on because as you know, I’ve come to terms with it.  I hope I can help him out.

Most important I hope that we can have some good laughs since I can’t really go out and have a good time.  I hope I can leave him with some good memories.  It’s what I try to do for all my friends when we are together.  I want them to remember me as the crazy, intelligent chick who not only remained truly loyal to her friends but cherished the relationships as well…including Karl.

I understand.  I get it.

I believe they will regret cutting me out of their lives now instead of actually letting me die and then taking the time to grieve.  However, I realize that we all deal with death in our own way.

After all, the doctor told me last week that I have anywhere from a few weeks to a few months to live.

It would freak ME out to talk to someone over the weekend only to find out they died the following Wednesday.

My point is that I’m hurt and part of me wants feel that I’m entitled to be a little selfish right now.  Like I can stand here with my hands on my hips and tell people that enough is enough.

Instead I’ll focus on the family and friends who have come out in droves, come out of the woodwork and have been faithfully supporting me on a daily basis.  I love all of you for everything you unselfishly do for my family and me.

To those who can’t do it, I hope you don’t regret that decision some day.  I still love you and I’m still here.  It’s not too late to take advantage of the time I have left.