I know as a business owner you are moving quickly, in many directions, wearing many hats.  Yet, it’s imperative to remember what you are promising to others and yourself.  At the beginning of my coaching engagements, clients sometimes have difficulty gauging how much they can really accomplish in-between coaching sessions.  They tend to over promise and under deliver. The accountability that is built into coaching helps them to quickly see this about themselves, recognize the impact, and make changes.  Loren’s article highlights the impact on your integrity of not keeping your word and 5 tips for keeping your agreements. Don’t you want to be known as someone who keeps their word?

Quote of the Week

“Our character is an omen of our destiny, and the more integrity we have and keep, the simpler and nobler that destiny is likely to be.”
~ George Santayana

As Good As Your Word?

by Loren Ekroth

Legend has it that years ago in the American Southwest, cattle were traded and sold on the basis of a few words and a handshake.  No contracts necessary.  A man’s word was his bond.  Similarly, within the councils of Hopi and Navaho tribes, speaking the truth was a requirement.  Words were thoughtful and few and carefully chosen.  Participants spoke truth.

Fast-forward to 2010 with these two examples:

1. I invite an acquaintance to a dinner and social evening at my home. She replies, “Thanks, I’ll try to make it.”

Should I set a place for her at the table?  Probably not.

She is being polite, and the connotation of what she says is “I’ll be there.”  But the chance is better than 50/50 that she won’t attend.

(As Yoda said in Star Wars, “Do or do not… there is no try.”)

2. I ask a fellow, “We need help serving at our church potluck dinner on Sunday. Can you help out?”  He says, “Count on me.”

But he doesn’t show up, so we’re short-handed.

Later, when I see these two people, they may not even mention not having kept their agreement, implying that I should understand because “something came up,” or “it slipped my mind.”  No apology needed.

What’s going on here?  Do words have no weight?

It appears that these folks think talk is cheap and that keeping your word is not important. However, here’s a principle that’s solid:

Your agreements show your integrity.

Therefore, take all agreements seriously, and don’t make any agreements you don’t plan to keep, or cannot keep.  As well, make sure your agreements are clear.  If the agreement involves money or other assets, put it in writing.

Recently a friend told me of a woman who temporarily shared his apartment. A nurse, she would be able to help him from time to time. (He has a serious heart condition.)  At one point she told him that she was in financial difficulty and asked for a loan of $1500 with a promise to pay him back “soon.”  He agreed and gave her the $1500 based on her verbal promise to pay him back “soon.”

A few weeks later she paid him $200 “on account.”  Shortly after, she moved out and went to another state, no forwarding address.  With no way of contacting her, he has said goodbye to $1300.

Have you been having this experience with people whose word is not good?

If so, here are a few things you can do, starting with yourself:

1. Make very few agreements, and only those you are quite sure you are able to keep.  Make very, very few promises.  Keep those you make.
2. If you can’t keep an agreement, renegotiate it or cancel it.  “I’m awfully sorry, I can’t help you out on Sunday.  My child is sick.”
3. Be careful with whom you make agreements.  Certainly don’t make agreements with those whose record is not keeping them.
4. Don’t make agreements to do anything you don’t have control over, such as assuming what others might do before you’ve checked with them, as in “I’ll be happy to help you move and will bring 3 friends to help.”
5. Be absolutely sure of mutual understanding, so you don’t accept language like “I’ll pay you back soon,” or “I’ll call you next week.” Ask, “What’s the specific time you can call me?”  If that time is convenient to both, confirm it and put it in your schedule.  (Have you noticed how your dentist’s receptionist will call you to remind you about your appointment a day in advance?  And that if you are a no-show, you’ll be charged?)  Reminders are good.

If a person makes and doesn’t keep agreements with others, it is likely that they don’t keep agreements with themselves, either.  They tell themselves they are going to do something like study for a test, but they don’t do it.

We can be friendly and civil to people we know even if their word is not good.  (We may even have relatives or co-workers who are well known for not keeping their agreements, especially if money is involved.)  But, if that’s the situation with you, follow the advice of Polonius to his hotheaded son Laertes (in Shakespeare’s Hamlet):

“Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.”

Loren Ekroth (c) 2010, all rights reserved. Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life. Complimentary newsletter, “Better Conversations” at www.conversationmatters.com. Contact at Loren@conversationmatters.com.

Coaching Call to Action

This week become aware of all of the requests being made of you.  Before you make an agreement to a request, make sure it’s something that you are able to keep.  If you find that you are not able to keep the agreement, make sure to let the person know.  No one likes surprises.  In using this process, do you make more agreements?  Fewer agreements?  More meaningful agreements?  What changes for you?

What’s New?

March 10, 2010 – 6:30 to 8:30 pm at Keefe Tech Continuing Education
Empowering Yourself!

Do you feel like you need to make a significant change in your business or personal life and would like some support to address these issues? I will provide my 5-step program for gaining control of your life. This seminar is scheduled for Wednesday, March 10th, from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. at Keefe Tech, Framingham, MA. To reserve your place, please call 508-935-0202 or go to www.ktconed.org/health_and_lifestyle.htm.

Other articles you might be interested in:

1. Small Effort Gives You Big Payoff

It being almost March, it’s a good time to step back for a minute and assess how the year is going in your business.  Where do you need to spend more energy and where do you need to spend less energy?  How is the “marketing” of your business going in 2010?  Phyllis makes a number of points that are important to remember for the success of your business:  build relationships, market using your strengths, find a mentor, support your goals with an action plan, and use your business cards.  Simple ideas that when implemented, have a positive impact.

Quote of the Week

“Treasure your relationships, not your possessions.”
~ Anthony J. D’Angelo

Proven Strategies from Market You Must

by Phyllis Sisenwine

Relationships, Relationships, Relationships

The true secret to growing a successful business is building relationships. You add people to your community with every relationship you develop. Become the host of your community. Just like the host of a party, be sure that your guests are engaged and involved.

When collecting quotes for my book there was a recurring theme, the importance of relationships. The relationship-building strategies discussed: listening, adding value, following-up, will all lead to the outcome you desire – to get to the top of your game.

Coach’s Action Step: Think about the concept of becoming the host of your community; create new relationships and nurture them. Choose any action step in this book. Each one will help you build your community.

Know Yourself

People have different personalities. Some of us enjoy meeting new people and networking; others would rather go to the dentist. There are different ways to market and grow your business. Try new things, but if they aren’t comfortable, try a different option. Know what works for you and leverage it in your marketing plan.

Rather than focusing on your weaknesses, leverage your talents. You’ll achieve your greatest results if you use your natural gifts.

Coach’s Action Step: What are your natural strengths? Ask three to four people to give you their perspective. You’ll gain insight by seeing yourself as others see you.

Find a Mentor

People don’t make it to the top alone. Everyone has help along the way. You can shorten your learning curve by getting advice from someone with more experience. Most successful people are happy to share their wisdom.

If your place of business doesn’t have a mentoring program, seek out people you admire. Look for someone you trust to be your advisor and guide.

Mentors can be found in many places: your firm, your community, your teachers and people you’ve worked with in the past. The best mentor is also a great role model.

Coach’s Action Step: Reach out to someone you admire and respect and ask him to meet with you. If you feel a connection, ask if he’d be willing to be your mentor.

Have a Plan

Choose a measurable goal that you would like to accomplish.Do you want more clients? More time off? More income? The first step to achieving your goal is to create a plan.

A good plan includes action steps and deadlines. Make it realistic and estimate the time each step will take. Account for resources you need and build a reserve of time.

Whether your goal is five new clients or five million dollars in five years, if you have a plan, you’re far more likely to achieve it.

Coach’s Action Step: Choose one goal and create an action plan with deadlines. Break tasks into achievable steps and get going!

Always Carry Business Cards

Keep a good supply of business cards available at all times; in your wallet, your briefcase, your glove compartment. The person who asks for your card could become your best client.

Think of your card as a marketing tool. Ensure the information is complete and up to date.

Consider it a mini-brochure and make it memorable. Business cards are your calling card; they represent you as a professional.

Coach’s Action Step: Carry cards you’re proud of, and don’t hesitate to offer them to people you meet.

Copyright 2010. All Rights Reserved. Phyllis Sisenwine, Master Certified Coach, can be reached at www.powerfulcoaching.com. Author of Market You Must…for Lawyers.

Coaching Call to Action

Phyllis has outlined 5 steps you could take this week.  As a business owner, you can set goals and make commitments to yourself.  Unless you share the goals with others, know one but you will know if you accomplished your goals or you didn’t. There is no accountability other than to yourself.  This week, commit to at least one of Phyllis’s action steps and tell someone about it.  If you really want to stretch yourself, commit to all 5, tell someone, and set up a reward for accomplishing them!

What’s New?

Thursday, March 4, 2010 – 7 to 9 PM at Emerson Hospital, Concord, MA
Being Resourceful: Using What You Have to Get Where You Want to Be!

I  will provide tools to capitalize on your resources to achieve the results that are most important to you at Emerson Hospital’s Community Health & Wellness Program. This interactive, thought-provoking program will help you increase your productivity and profitability. To learn more click here.

March 10, 2010 – 6:30 to 8:30 pm at Keefe Continuing Education
Empowering Yourself!

Do you feel like you need to make a significant change in your business or personal life and would like some support to address these issues? I will provide my 5-step program for gaining control of your life. This seminar is scheduled for Wednesday, March 10th, from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. at Keefe Tech, Framingham, MA. To reserve your place, please call 508-935-0202 or go to www.ktconed.org/health_and_lifestyle.htm.

Other articles you might be interested in:

1. New City, New Market Share

I won’t deny it’s good to prepare. But, when you only look at the negative side of what might happen and get stuck there – ick! Michael Neill’s article this week explains how the problem-solving cycle works, and that the “problem” is our over-reaction to a situation isn’t based in reality, it’s in our imagination. When you catch yourself going down the path of problem generation as an automatic reaction, grab a hold of yourself and redirect-your thoughts.

Quote of the Week

“The way we see the problem is the problem.”
~ Stephen Covey

The Problem of Problem Solving

by Michael Neill

A couple of weeks ago, a marketing expert was shotgunning me with suggestions about what I needed to do to once people had signed up for Supercoach Academy. After listening to him for awhile, somewhat confused by the array of to-do’s he was putting forward, I asked him why he thought I needed to do all those things.

He looked at me curiously. “To prevent buyer’s remorse – after all, research has shown…”

What followed was an in-depth explanation of why this was so important, and suddenly I understood why I hadn’t been understanding him.

“The reason this hasn’t been making any sense,” I explained, “is because you’re trying to help me solve a problem I don’t actually have.”

A few days later, a client was explaining to me his concerns about his big break – his first gig in front of over 1000 people.  He wanted tips on how to find the “extra” confidence to make his performance “really, really, really good”.

I told him that I could share tips with him, but what would make the biggest difference was to have fun and not try to make this performance any different from any of the ones he had done that had led to this opportunity.

As I explained it to him, here’s how the problem-solving cycle usually works:

• Something happens. (In this case, he got offered a great gig.)
• We imagine all the bad things – “problems” – which might happen as a result of it. (In this case, what would happen if he suddenly lost his nerve in front of all those people and “blew his big chance.”)
• We then “problem-solve” by doing things to prevent the bad things we’ve imagined from happening. (In this case, try to learn confidence tricks and techniques to “ensure” that nothing will go wrong.)

The problem is, apart from the original event, nothing’s actually happened except our over-reaction in the physical world to the problems in our imagination!

He didn’t quite seem to get what I meant, I told him the following story:

Imagine that it’s the Wild West and you are surrounded by hostile Indians. Your only hope is if the cavalry comes to save you. Just as you are about to abandon all hope, you hear hoofbeats in the distance and see a lone rider coming towards you at a gallop.

“The bad news is that the cavalry’s not coming. The good news is, this isn’t the Wild West and there aren’t any Indians.”

He laughed, and called me a couple of days later to tell me the gig had gone phenomenally well.

What can we learn from all this?

There will never be enough techniques to solve problems that don’t actually exist.

Have fun, learn heaps, and relax . . . while life will always have its ups and downs, coping with them is inevitably much simpler than you think.

Copyright 2010 Michael Neill, author of ‘You Can Have What You Want’. All rights reserved – read more tips at www.geniuscatalyst.com.

Coaching Call to Action

Where are you imagining problems? This week look at the opportunities on your plate and see them as positive outcomes that are a reflection of the good work you do, your experience and your reputation. A shift in perspective is sometimes all it takes to create even more opportunities

What’s New?

Thursday, February 25, 2010 – 9 am to noon ET
Pounce on a Project

Last month we worked on moving a marketing plan forward, getting email in-boxes cleaned out and completing items on a procrastination list. Here are what a few folks said:

• “Getting started is such a big help and gets you on a roll.”
• “It feels really good to get rid of stuff!”

What project would you like to get on top of and accomplish this month? Come to Pounce on a Project II – - 2010. Join Coach Andrea on Thursday, February 25th from 9:00 a.m. to 12:15 p.m. Eastern. We will join as a group by phone and declare what you want to accomplish: getting taxes ready for the accountant, cleaning out those boxes in the corner, or getting your new website finished.

During the morning, the group will gather by phone a few times to check progress and get any support needed to finish with a bang. At noon, the group will celebrate their accomplishments. Who says projects have to be boring and tedious? Bring your lightness and fun and join us for the energization.

To sign up or learn more, call or e-mail me by noon on Wednesday, February 24th. Feel free to share this with friends and co- workers, the more the merrier. (Cost of the program is only the cost of long distance phone calls.)

Thursday, March 4, 2010 – 7 to 9 PM at Emerson Hospital, Concord, MA
Being Resourceful: Using What You Have to Get Where You Want to Be!

I  will provide tools to capitalize on your resources to achieve the results that are most important to you at Emerson Hospital’s Community Health & Wellness Program. This interactive, thought-provoking program will help you increase your productivity and profitability. To learn more click here.

Other articles you might be interested in:

1. No Complaining Week Personal Action Plan
2. Roots and Wings

This morning I was preparing for a managerial skills training I’m delivering next week on Effective Delegation. One of the key points is knowing to whom you can delegate. The intent is to give the tasks to other people on your team. Steve Straus’s tip this week on Delegating Discipline expanded my viewpoint on delegation. Steve succinctly gives ideas on delegating to people who can easily get you on track by bringing discipline to areas that are not your strength. This allows you to focus on the priorities and passions of your business (and what you’re good at).

Quote of the Week

“Do not run away; let go. Do not seek, for it will come when least expected.”
Bruce Lee

Delegate the Discipline

by Steve Straus

Some people simply aren’t born with the discipline “gene.” Even though they’ve heard all their life that they need to be disciplined if they want to win, they just don’t have it in them. In fact, they don’t even have enough discipline to develop some discipline!

What to do? Try delegating the discipline.

Having a hard time getting to the gym to work out? Hire a personal trainer. Knowing he or she is waiting for you and that the meter is running will help you show up and quickly do the workout.

Is your office messy and you never seem to take the time to organize it? Hire someone who loves to tidy up, organize, and file stuff. You’ll be more effective and they’ll have a blast.

Slow typist? Install a speech-to-text program. Talk away and delegate the typing to the program.

Trying to be someone you are not is futile, exhausting, and, ultimately, useless. It’s like trying to teach a pig to sing. Or a canary to run. You’re going to fail. (And it irritates the heck out of the pig! Or canary.)

Copyright 2009 Steve Straus. All rights reserved. Steve Straus can be contacted at http://www.StrausUSA.com.

Coaching Call to Action

This week consider what’s draining your energy, what’s holding you back and what would give you the greatest relief if you were to delegate it?

What’s New?

Thank you for celebrating International Coaching Week

What lively conversation we had on Wednesday in celebration of the Twelfth Annual International Coaching Week! Thanks to those of you who participated and made this worthwhile and interesting for all.

You have inspired me to do this again. Watch this section for the next 90 Minutes of Coaching Offering.

Other articles you might be interested in:

1. The Freedom of Self-Discipline
2. Giving In
3. How to Be, Do, or Have

“If you are complaining about life, it is because you are thinking only about yourself.”
Gordon B. Hinckley

Coach Andrea’s Intro

I must admit I found myself complaining this week. And, I found that it was snowballing. “. . .not only that, I’m not happy about xyz either!” How fortuitous that this tip from OSU popped into my email inbox (which by the way was something else I was complaining about. . .why do I get so many emails????).  Just reading through the list Jon Gordan talks about had me calm down. I hope it works for you, too. Have a great week and may your complaints be minimal.

No Complaining Week Personal Action Plan

by Jon Gordon

• Day 1: Monitor your thoughts and words. You’ll be amazed at the thoughts that pop into your head and come out of your mouth.
• Day 2: Make a gratitude list. Write a list of things you are thankful for.
• Day 3: Take a thank-you walk. While you’re walking, think of all the things you are grateful for.
• Day 4: Focus on the good stuff. Focus on what is right with your life, rather than what is wrong.
• Day 5: Start a success journal. Write down all the great interactions and accomplishments you have had today.
• Day 6: Let go. Make a list of the things you would like to complain about. Go through the list and identify the things that are within your control that you have the power to change and identify those things that are beyond your control.
• Day 7: Breathe. Spend 10 minutes in silence. Throughout the day, anytime you find yourself feeling stressed or wanting to complain, stop for 10 seconds and breathe (Gordon, 2008, p. 129-131).

From: Gordon, Jon (2008). The no complaining rule: positive ways to deal with negativity at work. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons.

Reprinted with permission from the OSU Leadership Center, Ohio State University, Columbus, OH 43210, (614) 292-3114, http://leadershipcenter.osu.edu.

Coaching Call to Action

Following up on what Jon Gordon says, start by becoming aware of your thoughts and words. Just listen to yourself. Then decide what you want to do next. The first step in change is self-awareness.

What’s New?

Warm Welcome to NEW Attendees for Accomplishing Goals that Truly Matter.

What a great group of women you all are! Thanks for participating so fully in Monday’s program “Accomplishing Goals that Truly Matter”.

February 10, 2010
90 minutes of Coaching in Celebration of International Coaching Week

The Twelfth Annual International Coaching Week is February 7 – 13, 2010. The event is designed to provide a week each year to educate the public about the benefits of coaching. This week is dedicated to sharing this process with others and to provide a public service as the coaching profession’s way of contributing back to the community in which we live and work.

As part of this event, I want to give something to you. I will have open office hours for you, my Tip of the Week readers from 3 to 4:30 PM ET, on Wednesday, February 10th. I will be ready and willing to discuss any issue you bring to the call. The call will be held on a bridge line so you can be as open as you’d like – sharing your name and company or you can remain anonymous. You’ll be able to hear issues that other readers are facing and you can share your own challenge. The bridge line can hold up to 25 callers. No need to sign up. Just call 218-339-7300, pin 119228# at any time during the 90 minutes. I’m looking forward to hearing you!

Other articles you might be interested in:

1. What’s YOUR Personal Best?
2. Great Aunt Grace’s Six Daily Rules to Live By
3. Exercise Emotional Control

“People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as any of us can come to being happy.”
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Coach Andrea’s Intro

I delivered a workshop on Managing Conflict this week in Toronto. (Great city, by the way — see Ideas and Information for more information about my trip.) One topic we discussed was the Amygdala Hijack which is when your emotions take over and you react vs. respond to a situation. Tony outlines 3 ways to manage yourself when your emotional reaction begins

Exercise Emotional Control

by Tony Alessandra

What causes an emotional overreaction? It’s generally prompted by the speaker himself or by something he or she says. For instance, going to an elegant party dressed like a bum might influence the hosts negatively. On the other hand, wearing a high-powered, Wall Street-like suit might put a rural businessperson on the defensive against a supposedly not-to-be-trusted city slicker.

Severe emotional overreaction can also be caused by loaded topics, such as ethnic, racial, religious, or political references. Differences in values, beliefs, attitudes, education, speed of delivery, image, and a host of other factors can cause a disruption in communication.

So, as listeners, we tend to tune out when we see or hear something we don’t like. As a result, we often miss the true substance of what’s being said.

When your emotional reaction begins, you’ll have an almost irresistible tendency to interrupt, to butt in, and to argue. You may feel your pulse speed up, your breathing become more rapid, or your face become flushed. You may lose your train of thought. Once you recognize this negative emotional reaction, you can redirect it with the following techniques:

First, pause to delay your response or reaction. It’s the tried-and-true approach of counting to ten, or taking in some long, deep breaths. These can really work to calm you down.

A second calming technique: Think about what you have in common with the speaker, rather than focusing on your differences. Maybe you don’t disagree with the person’s motivations — such as raising more money for the school. You just don’t agree with her solutions.

And third, imagine yourself calm and relaxed. Think of a time in your past when you were laid-back, on top of the world, and feeling incredibly great. Visualize that experience as vividly as you can. When you exercise emotional control, you’ll find that active listening is no longer a struggle.

Copyright (c) 1996-2010 Alessandra & Associates, Inc. Dr. Tony Alessandra can be reached at http://www.PlatinumRule.com or at 1-858-456-0028.

Coaching Call to Action

This week, when you find your blood pressure rising and you are moving to “reacting”, just breathe. That will short circuit your reaction and allow you to move into calming yourself so that you can truly hear what the other person is saying and then respond in a “leaderly” way.

Community Involvement

February 1, 2010
Accomplishing Goals that Truly Matter to NEW – Network of Enterprising Women

Andrea will provide her six-step program for identifying what’s important to you and creating and achieving goals that fit your priorities. Network of Enterprising Women is an organization of women business professionals from the Metrowest area of Massachusetts. NEW was formed to provide business support, education, networking, and marketing opportunities, and to help facilitate both personal and professional growth for its members. Members meet monthly. To learn more go to http://www.new-ma.com/.

Ideas and Information

Porter Airlines gets an A+ rating

When was the last time you were waiting for a flight and you had free beverages – coffee and tea (on china), juice, water and snacks – cookies, chips, nuts? And a flight where you were offered water, beverages, snacks 2 or 3 times by a very friendly person? All for a flight of less than 2 hours. Porter Airlines makes flying an enjoyable experience. I highly recommend you check them out – www.flyporter.com.

Other articles you might be interested in:

1. No Complaining Week Personal Action Plan
2. Optimism
3. Eliminating Time-Wasters

“There is nothing better than the encouragement of a good friend.”
Katharine Butler Hathaway

Coach Andrea’s Intro

One of the reasons people who own their own business hire me as a coach is because they haven’t yet found or created the right mix of support that’s necessary for them to thrive. I liked that Gergen and Vanourek delineate the need for this. A great reminder.

Roots and Wings

by Christopher Gergen and Gregg Vanourek

As much as we ascribe to the hero’s journey, we are more fragile and vulnerable than we care to admit. We need others to fortify our resolve, provide perspective, and back us with emotional support. The deepest sources of strength among the life entrepreneurs we interviewed were their life partners, families, friends, mentors, and business partners. These close relationships give us roots and wings – roots to ground us and wings to help us fly.

The important people in our lives encourage us to be a person of character and integrity. They hold our feet to the fire when we drift or waver, help us back on our feet when we stumble, and encourage us to leap when we are ready to soar. They provide us with the all-important emotional foundation that we need to step forward in the world with confidence, willing and able to take risks because our root system is strong (Gergen & Vanourek, 2008, p. 112-113).

From: Gergen, C. & Vanourek, G. (2008). Life entrepreneurs: ordinary people creating extraordinary lives. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

Reprinted with permission from the OSU Leadership Center, Ohio State University, Columbus, OH 43210, (614) 292-3114, http://leadershipcenter.osu.edu.

Coaching Call to Action

What, if any, support structures do you have in your life? What do you tap to give you “roots and wings”? Do you have a strategy for resources (people, places, and things) in your life that can be used for support or help when needed? Are you using them effectively to increase your productivity and profitability? Your ability to systemically identify these assets and use them is an important key to your success.

Community Involvement

January 28, 2010
Pounce on a Project I – 2010

Come join us for the first Pounce on a Project of 2010! What project would you like to get on top of and accomplish this month that would start the year out with a bang? Come to Pounce on a Project I – - 2010. Join Coach Andrea on Thursday, January 28th from 9:00 a.m. to 12:15 p.m. Eastern. We will join as a group by phone and declare what you want to accomplish: setting goals for 2010, getting taxes ready for the accountant, cleaning out those boxes of old projects and clients in the corner, getting your website updated or reaching out to prospects. During the morning, the group will gather by phone a few times to check progress and get any support needed to finish with a bang. At noon, the group will celebrate their accomplishments. Who says projects have to be boring and tedious? Bring your lightness and fun and join us for the energization.

To sign up or learn more, call or e-mail Andrea by noon on Wednesday, January 27th. Feel free to share this with friends and co- workers, the more the merrier. (Cost of the program is only the cost of long distance phone calls.)

February 1, 2010
Accomplishing Goals that Truly Matter to NEW – Network of Enterprising Women

Andrea will provide her six-step program for identifying what’s important to you and creating and achieving goals that fit your priorities. Network of Enterprising Women is an organization of women business professionals from the Metrowest area of Massachusetts. NEW was formed to provide business support, education, networking, and marketing opportunities, and to help facilitate both personal and professional growth for its members. Members meet monthly. To learn more go to http://www.new-ma.com/.

Other articles you might be interested in:

1. Holding Ourselves Accountable
2. Relationships
3. Simple Ways to Supercharge Your Goals and Make Them Work!

“One way to keep momentum going is to have constantly greater goals.”
Michael Korda

Coach Andrea’s Intro

You may be asking yourself “Goals. Why is Andrea sending me another article on goals?” Why? Because my brief survey done last week of people who own their own business indicated that over half haven’t yet set their goals for 2010. I like Chris Widener’s simple process for setting goals that help ensure a higher likelihood of achievement.

Simple Ways to Supercharge Your Goals and Make them Work!

by Chris Widener

Here are some simple ways to set goals so that we achieve them! After all, what good is a goal if it isn’t something you achieve? Follow these simple steps to make sure that you see change in your life this year.

Narrow your focus. That’s right, start small. Pick two or three areas, tops, that you want to work on. Too many people say to themselves, “I want to do this, and this, and this, and this…” and they end up doing nothing! Most of what you do throughout your day can be done without a lot of mental or emotional exertion, but change isn’t one of them. So focus on a couple. This way you can win some victories in those areas. Here are some areas to think about: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, Spiritual, Financial and Relational. What areas need some work? Now, what one thing should be the first item on the change list? The others will come later, but for now, you should focus on two or three.

Keep the long term in mind, but set your sights on achieving your goals in the short term. Do you want to lose 75 pounds? Good. Long term you will. But for now, think short term. Don’t think about losing 75 pound by summer; think about losing 5 pounds by next month. This does two things. First, it makes it urgent. Instead of blowing it and saying, “Oh well, I still have 17 months to lose the 75 pounds” (because eventually that becomes 2 months to lose 75 pounds) your goal is only a few weeks out. This is better in terms of reaching your goal. Secondly, as you reach these shorter-term goals, it gives you regular victories instead of regular progress. Progress feels good, but achieving a goal is awesome!

Reward yourself when you achieve the goal. When you lose the 5 pounds, go get yourself a grande whole-milk mocha. But just one! Then get back to your goal for the next month, and the next. This puts a little fun back into the process of self-control and self-discipline. You will look forward to the reward, and when the going gets tough, you will say, “two more weeks, two more pounds, then…”

That’s it. I truly believe that it can be that simple for you.

This adds some ideas to the above article.

1. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Instead of saying, “I am going to quit my three-pack a day habit cold turkey,” say “I am going to drop to a pack and a half a day.” You can always make new resolutions when you have achieved the first ones. Give yourself small victories a little at a time.
2. Be specific in your timeline. Don’t just say, “I am going to lose 20 pounds.” Say, “I am going to lose 20 pounds by April 1st.” This way, when you’re tempted in the ice cream aisle, you can say, “Nope, only 10 more pounds to go in a month and a half, and I am not going to blow it.”
3. Post your goals where you will see them every day. This will keep it at the forefront of your mind. Instead of forgetting that you are trying to lose weight and ordering a big, thick porterhouse, you will have been reminded earlier that day that you need to go with something a little more on the lighter side. It will help your will beat your desire.
4. Find an encouraging person, who you respect, to keep you accountable. This person should ask you, at an interval established by the both of you, how it is going. They must be the encouraging type, though. If you are blowing it, they can say, “Well, that’s okay, get back to it tomorrow.” If you are doing well, they can say, “Awesome job. I’ll talk to you next week.” You will look forward to their weekly encouragement.
5. Find a partner. That’s right, someone who is trying to accomplish the same thing (or something different if need be). Just make sure that they really want to change, or they will end up just bellyaching about how hard it is and you will both fall into the abyss.
6. Write down a list of all of the benefits that will come if you accomplish this. If it is losing weight, it might be something like this: Feel better, better self-esteem, longer life, clothes are more comfortable, no more time spent sewing on popped buttons, wife says you look 22 again, etc. If it is quitting smoking, it may look like this: Better breath, no more brown fingers, no more wrinkles on my face, no more red eyes, no more smelly clothes, longer life, wife doesn’t make me spend two hours a day on the back porch, etc. This will help you see what you will get from accomplishing your goal.
7. Plan a reward if you accomplish your goal. It can be anything from small to large. If you drop the 20 pounds, go out for dinner and dessert. Then get back to losing the next 20. If it is quitting smoking, go on a mini-vacation. Whatever you do, reward yourself. Or let a spouse or a friend pick the reward. Then splurge and enjoy!

Chris Widener is the President of Made for Success. www.ChrisWidener.com. Chris can be reached at Chris@MadeForSuccess.com.

Coaching Call to Action

If you have already set your goals for 2010, good for you! To ensure your success run them through ideas 1-7 above. Any changes? If you haven’t set your goals yet for 2010 and are having difficulty choosing your top 3 goals, refer to the first paragraph – Narrow your focus. If you knew you would not fail, what one aspect of your life would you like to change? Congratulations! Clarity is the first step to achievement.

Community Involvement

January 28, 2010
Pounce on a Project I – 2010

Come join us for the first Pounce on a Project of 2010! What project would you like to get on top of and accomplish this month that would start the year out with a bang? Come to Pounce on a Project I – - 2010. Join Coach Andrea on Thursday, January 28th from 9:00 a.m. to 12:15 p.m. Eastern. We will join as a group by phone and declare what you want to accomplish: setting goals for 2010, getting taxes ready for the accountant, cleaning out those boxes of old projects and clients in the corner, getting your website updated or reaching out to prospects. During the morning, the group will gather by phone a few times to check progress and get any support needed to finish with a bang. At noon, the group will celebrate their accomplishments. Who says projects have to be boring and tedious? Bring your lightness and fun and join us for the energization.

To sign up or learn more, call or e-mail Andrea by noon on Wednesday, January 27th. Feel free to share this with friends and co- workers, the more the merrier. (Cost of the program is only the cost of long distance phone calls.)

Other articles you might be interested in:

1. Getting the Right Goals
2. Simple Abundance: The Inner Journey
3. Simple Steps to Inner and Outer Peace

“One simple change in your daily self-care practices has the power to change everything – even your destiny. Without deliberate ongoing practice, nothing changes.”
Sandy Davis

A Note From Andrea

Great Aunt Grace’s Six Daily Rules to Live By

by Alexander M. (Sandy) Davis

Becky Tracy, a longstanding friend and fellow musician, recently came across the six daily rules by which her Great Aunt Grace lived. Knowing that I would resonate with them, she kindly sent them to me. With her permission, I would like to share them with you. Here they are:

Great Aunt Grace’s Six Daily Rules to Live By:

1. Do something for someone else
2. Do something for myself
3. Do something I don’t want to do but needs doing
4. Do a physical exercise
5. Do a mental exercise
6. Do an original prayer that always includes counting my blessings

Great Aunt Grace’s motto was: “Bloom where you are planted.” Becky tells me that “her other gem” was a recipe for a bath soak which included the instructions to “lie in the bath with the eyes closed and do not think while soaking.” She lived to the age of 103.

Wow!

Becky was correct that I feel a strong connection with her Great Aunt Grace. I find it remarkable that Grace’s six daily rules so closely parallel my “modern day” prescription for taking great care of your body, your mind, and your spirit. In order to nourish these three aspects of her being, Grace framed up her own simple set of daily self-care practices. The ones she chose for herself are virtually the same as the ones I have found to work so reliably and consistently.

For the benefit of her mind, she did a “mental exercise” every day, and also intentionally stopped “thinking” while soaking in the tub. I call that a “daily centering practice.”

For the benefit of her body, she made it a practice to do physical exercise every day. I concur that this is a vital daily practice.

And for the benefit of her spirit, she had a daily practice of praying every day-but with an inspiring twist. She held herself accountable to “do an original prayer” every day. She understood the value of continuously tapping into her own creativity so as to keep herself moving forward, discovering, and growing. I call that a “daily creative practice.”

The combination of Rules #1 and #2 suggests that Great Aunt Grace also understood the interdependency of taking good care of yourself and taking good care of others. Because you cannot give what you do not have, you must start with yourself. (I call this “Pay yourself first so that you can then pay it forward.”)

Rule #3 suggests that Grace espoused the value of not making any excuses. In challenging herself to do something every day that she didn’t want to do “but needed doing,” she set herself up to “just do it” day-in and day-out. No excuses.

I find it noteworthy that all six of Grace’s daily rules start with the verb to “do.” She understood that in order to create the results you want to create, you have to take action. She knew that there are no shortcuts, and that it was her own choice and her own responsibility to live by the Six Daily Rules she had set for herself.

My gift to you during these year-end holidays is to “pay forward” the gift that Becky just gave to me. Great Aunt Grace’s Six Daily Rules have re-inspired me to continue to honor my own commitments to daily self-care, and to leading a life in which I touch countless others in positive ways. May Great Aunt Grace inspire (or re-inspire) you, as well, to take great care of yourself every single day, and to lead a healthy, productive, and meaningful life until you’re at least 100.

Time now for me to go draw a bath and soak for a while-without thinking. You can, too.

Copyright © 2010 Alexander M. (Sandy) Davis. To find out more about Sandy Davis and the resilience-related manuals and services he offers, visit http://www.ResilienceWorks.com. To subscribe to his free monthly e-newsletter, send an e-mail to Subscribe@ResilienceWorks.com. FYI, he’s “The Resilience Guy.”

Self-care action for the week: Take a bath! Really! When was the last time you took a bath? Prior to reading Sandy’s article, it was 4 years for me! Showers, sure, but baths – nope. (I had to take baths in 2005 because I couldn’t stand up and balance for showers. I had broken my ankle when I was out running with my dogs. But that’s a whole other story.) I find that taking a bath warms your enitre body, is wonderfully relaxing and helps you to sleep through the night. Try it.

Ideas and Information

The Resilience Manual: How to Thrive in Stressful Times by Sandy Davis

The subtitle is: “Seven Simple Self-Care Structures that Increase Your Ability to Prosper Come What May.” If you are interested in learning more about Sandy’s work, this simple and clearly written manual presents his straightforward methodology for developing and sustaining your own personal resilience. The manual presents precisely what you need to know so that you can immediately start to take better care of yourself, become more “resilient-ready,” and enjoy life a whole lot more. To learn more go to www.ResilienceWorks.com.

Other articles you might be interested in:

1. The Need for More Grace in the Workplace
2. GREAT QUESTIONS: Who Are You?
3. Are You Living the Life you Want to Live?

“If you have the opportunity to play this game of life you need to appreciate every moment. A lot of people don`t appreciate the moment until it’s passed.”
Kanye West

Make it a R-E-A-L Holiday Season

by Michael Angier

As I write these lines, the calendar tells me there are just a few days left in this year. Can that be true?

It’s time again to reflect on the challenges and successes of this year and think ahead to next year.

We’ve all heard the saying, “Time flies when you’re having fun”. As we get older, we realize that time flies whether we’re having fun or not.

The holiday season is important to me. Even though it’s a hectic time of year, it’s also a time for family, for friends-and for reflection.

Consider making it a R-E-A-L Holiday Season:

R-eview
E-xamine
A-ppreciate
L-earn

Review
It’s important that you give yourself and your family not only a gift, but the gift of presence-YOUR presence. Take time with your family and take time with yourself. Review what you’ve done. Go through your calendar. Make a list of happenings.

I keep an ongoing “chronofile” with a list of events, goals, challenges, current events, notations, etc. This makes it easy for me to review this trip around the sun.

Examine
Think about what these happenings have meant to you. How did they affect the other events? How did you feel? What worked and what didn’t?

Appreciate
The Bible says, “Give thanks in all things”. It DOESN’T say FOR all things, but rather IN all things. For those things that you wished hadn’t been so, you can still give thanks for the experience and the learning.

You may not see the value of everything that’s happened in your life right now, but they most likely happened for a reason. Even though those reasons may be obscure at this moment, give thanks anyway.

Life is lived forward but only understood backwards. Most of the funny stories we tell about ourselves were once painful. If we’re going to laugh about it later, we might as well laugh about it now.

Learn
What can we learn from this year? What will we want to repeat or expand upon? What will we let go of and resolve to never do again? Remember that good judgment comes from experience. And how do you gain experience? Yup–bad judgment.

The tragedy is not in making mistakes, but rather in repeating them. Burn your learnings deep into your consciousness. Your life will become richer with each passing year.

I urge you to invest in this process and reap the rewards.

Copyright Michael Angier & Success Networks International. Used with Permission. Michael Angier is the founder and president of SuccessNet.org.

Coaching Call to Action

First and foremost, enjoy this blessed holiday season with family, friends, and loved ones.  Secondly, assess 2009 as Michael prompts you to do. Thirdly, plan for 2010 using the information below.

I’d love to hear from you about what you discover as you take time to reflect and plan. Please take a minute to comment on my blog.

Ideas and Information

Accomplishments and Goals

t’s time to get started on your master plan for 2010. Give yourself some quiet time, put on some relaxing music . . . and begin. First acknowledge all that you have accomplished in 2009. (See Michael’s suggestions in the above article). Next, write down your goals for 2010. Open your mind to ALL the possibilities. Start each goal with “I am” or I will”. Don’t even THINK about restricting yourself. This process may take two hours. It may take two weeks. Remember, you’re building what you want in your life. To help you with this process, here are some key questions to ask yourself:

What do I want to do?
What do I want to have?
Where do I want to go?
What contribution do I want to make?
What do I want to learn?
Who do I want to meet and spend my time with?
How much do I want to earn, save and invest?
What will I do for fun and optimum health?

To receive a form to capture your accomplishments for 2009 and your goals for 2010, send Andrea an e-mail at andrea@coachandrea.com with “Accomplishments and Goals” in the subject line.

Other articles you might be interested in:

1. Holiday Poem
2. Top Ten End-of-the-Year Questions
3. Getting the Right Goals