Cobra Brigade

Cobra Brigade Post #1,000

2008-05-09T15:22:47Z

That is not a typo. Since our 'soft launch' on May 10, 2007 we have posted 1,000 entries. One thousand posts divided by a leap year tells me that we've had about three posts a day for our year of existence. Not bad. Throw in the 6,300 comments we've had and.....well, I'm not sure what it means in the grand scheme of things.

For those of you who have read every entry and been here the entire time....good God you must be bored at work. Seriously though, Thanks. Even though we are shutting down soon, it has been quite a ride. From my initial post about Jason Marquis (what?) to our arguments about IU Basketball/Kelvin Sampson (give it a break) to our announcement that we'd be leaving....it's been fun....for the most part.

If I could do this all over again, which I won't be doing, I'd make this an 'invitation only' site because at times things got out of hand and to be honest with you.....we only really care about the people who read daily (or close to it). Obviously that doesn't mean that we'd have the 'hits' we had but I think we'd have a lot more fun with a smaller group of people. Hindsight is 20/20.

I hope that we've been able to give you some insight and make you laugh a little bit over the last year as well as being a time consumer for those of you at work. We really had no idea what we were doing when we started and.....we're not far from that still. We write what we think and we think what we write. Or something like that.

Anyways, enjoy the picture of Marisa Miller, she's the best, and thanks again for sticking around for so long.

Pie to Minors.....Good Idea

2008-05-09T14:57:43Z

I'm probably the biggest Felix Pie supporter out there but when I read this morning that he might be heading back to Iowa.....I thought it was a good idea.

I like what Pie brings to the table with his speed and defense but he's just not ready to hit in the major leagues. While he's dominated in the minor leagues, he just hasn't been able to translate that into success in the majors and there is one main reason why.....he has no idea about the strike zone. None. Whatsoever.

I've been playing MLB '08: The Show fairly often at my house since most of my other stuff is packed up for the move and in the career mode you have to meet certain standards before you are able to move up to the next level. I have no problem meeting the batting average, RBI's and OB % standards but when it comes to taking a walk...I'm clueless when it comes to the strike zone. Just like Pie.

What the Cubs need to do right now is to send him down to Iowa and tell him that if he doesn't have 40 walks by the MLB All-Star Break then he's not coming up and will be put on the trading block. Iowa has about 64 games during that timespan, if he's sent down this weekend, and that really wouldn't be a tough task for someone who wants to move up in the organization. I don't care about how many homers he hits, how many highlight reel catches he makes or how many wins Iowa has with him in the lineup. If he doesn't have 40 walks in 64 games then he doesn't get called up again. Learning plate discipline isn't something that's impossible as Ronny Cedeno has shown us this season so I don't think it's too much to ask.

The best case scenario is that Pie goes down, gets the 40 walks and gets called up to the Cubs after the break. He then becomes the Jacque Jones-type player that they had last season that solidifies the lineup and gives them defense in center field. Worst case scenario is that Pie goes to Iowa, continues to do what he's doing now and then is part of the trade for Brian Roberts later on this season. If Pie wants to be a Cubs player he's going to have to earn it and he's going to have to do it soon before he's traded.

Buck Rampage vs Cougar.....The Conclusion

2008-05-09T13:33:05Z

****Since we are leaving soon, we are going to Turn Back the Clock a little bit on some of our best posts. Here is Buck's conclusion to his adventure with his Cougar from August 2007. Click Part 1 to read the beginning.

So, where did Jack leave off? Oh yes, the ride to the airport. Now before we get to this much anticipated "Conclusion", I think everyone needs to know that this is my first foray into the world of Cougars. Actually, I'm not sure if you could even call it my own foray, as I was pulled into this situation by said Cougar. She had an unshakable force about her, much like gravity, she was relentless. Without further ado, here it goes.

Note: I believe the Cougar to be 35-40 yrs old. I don't think she is married (ie. no ring). I don't know if she has kids. Those three questions were never asked. I don't believe any of those questions should have been asked in this situation. I disagree with Jack's assessment of "fairly' good looking in the comment section of the first post. I would say she was above that. We'll just say straight up good looking. Especially for a 35-40 yr. old. Totally unbiased opinion. Ha.

]]> The ride to the airport was very uneventful, as Burt was in the car with the Cougar and myself. The Cougar was riding shotgun in my shiny new '07 Prius rental. She was digging my ride and my driving. I protect the environment and hunt Cougars all at the same time, I'm that good. We began game planning for the night ahead. You see, the Cougar and I had similar flight times but we were in different terminals at the airport. I came up with the ingenius plan to check in my luggage beforehand and then make the trek over to her terminal.

As I embarked on my journey, I had many thoughts running through my head, such as if I was going to bag the Cougar in the bathroom stall? If the chance arose, I most definitely would. Suddenly, I was awoken from my daydreams by the sight of the Cougar calling me on the cell. We decided to sit down for drinks and appetizers at one of the airports many fine eateries. We headed to the bar area and sat at a six seater across from each other. Drinks were ordered, gazes were given, and conversations were had. The Cougar was not very fond of beer, but ordered one nonetheless. I believe she made the comment that after two beers she would be feeling good. Ka-CHING! One more round waitress! Food was ordered, eyelases fluttered, and conversation continued. We discussed the debacle of people sitting on the same side of a booth since we had somewhat the same quandry, albeit at a bar/table instead of a booth. I'm against same side sitting, the Cougar was all for it. Note taken. It appeared that I was either on my game or the Cougar needed a kill and needed it quickly because I could do no wrong with word or deed.

All of a sudden things took a turn for the worse as a hostess sat three men, who were ultimately enamoured with the Cougar, at our table. More drinks were ordered, frustrations grew, and Rampage went on the offensive. We all made introductions and small talk and luckily the Cougar still only had eyes for the Rampage. All of us at the table were waiting for flights that had been delayed. We setup a rotation to go check the flight status on the displays outside the restaurant. After returning from my turn to check the flights, I made the move to sit next to the Cougar. See "Note taken" above. (I still feel I did not break my same side sitting stance since other people were at the table) What a move it was. The Cougar was immediately all over me. Slight arm touching was a thing of the past. Now it was full on contact. We had progressed to leg caressing among other things. I dared not stand up. I still wish I could have known what the three guys at the table were thinking. They had to be looking at me, this young guy pulling their type of tail and just saying "that little shit".

The next event I'm not exactly proud to tell, but I must, since the Brigade demands it. The Cougar put on some chapstick/lip balm to accentuate her pouty lips and gave me the "pucker" look. Well, the Rampage dove right in and got some of that chapstick right from her lips. I know, very middle schoolish, but I'd do it again.

More drinks, inebriation setting in, and more conversation. Eventually, the time to depart was upon us. The Cougar walked with me to the brink of my terminal. Goodbyes were said. The Cougar told me to call her if my flight was cancelled because get this, she would purposefully miss her flight. Ka-CHING! A final embrace was given and after the release, the look of seduction was in her eyes. The Rampage took advantage and went in for the kiss. It wasn't anything gratuitous, maybe 8-10 seconsds worth. Come on we were in the middle of the airport, I couldn't grope a breast or undo a belt! Cougars are classy, they don't get nasty in public. Before I knew it, I was on my way.

On the way to my gate I was thinking of my near miss. I arrive at my gate to find that my flight was indeed cancelled. First things first, I call up the Cougar. She's in line to board her flight. She asks "Do you want me to get out of line?" I wanted to scream YES, but I couldn't bring myself to make someone miss a flight home and decided to let her go her own way. I'm an idiot, an imebicle, a putz, a lunatic. You get the picture.

I picked up my luggage, headed outside, and hopped on the first hotel shuttle that came my way. It didn't matter where I was going at that point. I got a room wherever I ended up and lo and behold received a phone call from the Cougar. Her plane was on hold on the tarmac. There was hope for Rampage yet. I told the Cougar that I had a room. She said she would let me know if the flight was cancelled, and if so head to my hotel room. I proceeded to the bar to wait out the scenario and got sauced on Vodka Tonics. However, it was not to be. The Cougar's flight eventually took off. Till we meet again Cougar, till we meet again!

Fade to Black......

Ray McCallum Gets His Revenge

2008-05-09T12:04:49Z

By now you probably know that Hoosier Nation and the entire Internet is going crazy about Tom Crean's statement about Eli Holman transferring to Detroit Mercy:

"We were led to believe that this was a family decision and that he wanted to get closer to home, but now it doesn't look like that's the way it's going to turn out,'' Crean said. "I don't think there's any doubt that there was a certain amount of orchestrating going on. It's disappointing -- very disappointing -- on a lot of fronts.''

So Crean is upset that he was led to believe one thing and then another thing happened....Well, welcome to Ray McCallum's world over the past six months! Look, I don't think it's good that he took a player that IU probably needed next season, but I'm not faulting the guy like everyone else is. In fact, I applaud him for getting his 'revenge'.

As you all remember, McCallum and Dan Dakich were up for the job to replace Kelvin Sampson and it reportedly came down to a meeting with the athletics administration just minutes before the press conference. All the players wanted McCallum to be the coach, but the alumni/boosters (even the anonymous donor) wanted Dakich in there. McCallum had the better coaching track record and was seemingly being groomed to take over the position earlier in the season in case something did happen with Sampson at a time when Dakich was just being brought onto the basketball team. Of course, Dakich got the job. McCallum walked out of his meeting with AD Rick Greenspan disappointed and, I'm guessing, hurt.

So now the season has ended, IU has a new coach and McCallum leaves. Since McCallum helped recruit most of the players it's not unfathomable to think that he would take some of them with him to his new place of employment, is it? I understand that Crean is upset because Holman was giving him answers that led him to believe that he'd be back with the team next season but, as McCallum knows, until you have it in writing....it means nothing.

Thoughts on the Cubs/Cardinals Series

2008-05-08T14:41:21Z

Yes, the series was last weekend but A) I haven't written about it and B) there was a request for it, so here are some random thoughts about the series that the Cardinals won.

- I'm still not sold on the Cardinals in the long-term but right now they look pretty solid. They pitch well, they get on base and, for the most part, they play fundamentally sound baseball. Tony LaRussa is obviously a very good manager that will get the most out of his players and Albert Pujols is the best player west of the Bronx.

Rick Ankiel is having a nice little season so far but I'm just waiting for him to go through a month where he struggles. Then again, he may never struggle and could be one of the best CF's in the National League....he has that much talent. I think that Troy Glaus is washed up and while my colleague, Buck Rampage, thinks that hitting doubles means that homers are coming for him....I think that these doubles mean that the homers have exited stage left. The rest of the lineup is filled with the second coming of the piranhas (from the Minnesota Twins days). These are guys that won't necessarily kill you instantly but if you let them nibble and nibble and nibble....all of a sudden you've lost a lot of blood and are on the verge of blacking out.

The Cardinals pitching staff right now is filled with pure filth, which is a good thing. Most of them don't have great track records so it will be up to LaRussa and Dave Duncan to somehow keep them where they are. They throw strikes and work quickly. I was waaaay down on the pitching staff before the season but after seeing them in this past series I can now see where the optimism comes from. There is some talent there and they have an ace in Adam Wainwright but I still think that they need at least one, if not two, more quality starters in the rotation. Todd Wellermeyer is fine for now but I really don't think he'll keep it up. Although, his key to success is to not walk hitters and he's kept away from doing that this season. He's always had good stuff so as long as he throws strikes....good things might happen.

It's amazing that pitchers haven't really figured this out yet....throw strikes and you are successful. Why they try to blow the ball by everyone or fool them with breaking pitches is beyond me. Throw strikes, let them hit the ball, let your fielders field it and when you need to strike someone out....have the ability to do it. Seems simple enough.

The bullpen for the Cardinals was pretty interesting as they have a bunch of guys I couldn't care less about and are either people who you've never heard of or are retreads. Yet they throw well. Whether they are able to keep up their pace, again, remains to be seen.

- I'm not going to get into the Cubs because this was an atrocious series for everyone except for Ted Lilly. It's now almost a week later since the Cubs called up Chad Fox (seriously?) and he gave up the game winning homer to Skip Schumaker on Friday night. When I read this on Saturday morning while TLD and I were at Au Bon Pan, I nearly threw the paper against the wall. I was able to get some relief on Saturday when Mike Fontenot hit a three-run blast but for the most part the Cubs disappointed the entire weekend. End of Cubs portion of the recap.

If I'm a Cardinals fan I have to be ecstatic with the way the team is playing right now and how they are competing. The team plays hard, they play right and they play to win. Unfortunately, they are about one pitching/Pujols injury away from major troubles and it's doubtful they'll be able to make it through the season unscathed.

Hoeppner More Than Just A Coach

2008-05-08T12:05:05Z

****Since we are leaving soon, we are going to Turn Back the Clock a little bit on some of our best posts. Here is Paine's post after the passing on former IU Head Football Coach Terry Hoeppner, which ran on June 20th, 2007. My father only has one son, and like many sons, I will one day have to eulogize him. It isn't something I want to do, and it isn't something I look forward to. I dread it. I feel that way today. It was a situation we at the Cobra Brigade had been avoiding for quite a while. I never wanted to write about it. It was so sad, so hurtful. But the health of Terry Hoeppner was scuttlebutt around the town and we couldn't avoid talking about it any longer. When we posted the article "Big Ten Football Program in Big Trouble" it was motivated by the sentiment that we needed to weigh in and lend our support before the situation evolved into something else. When it was written we were blessed with tremendous support for the opinions in it and we are thankful to those who chimed in. We received over 100 emails supporting Hep and his family and had 30 or so posts about it on the page. We also received six emails from people that could claim with certainty that Coach Hep would not be returning to the program. This was June 11, four days before Indiana University held a press conference to announce that Coach Hoeppner would not be returning to the head coaching position for the 2007 season. The Herald-Times claimed that overwhelming support for Hep on the Internet had led IU to the decision to announce. While I don't claim that the Cobra Brigade was responsible for this, the above mentioned article did receive nearly 10,000 hits on that first day thanks primarily to Hot Tub, a loyal reader, linking it onto IU's rivals.com site and some good response from Deadspin. The Herald-Times also has a sports site that is a great stop, the Hoosier Scoop. The two lead writers, Doug Wilson and Chris Korman, have been doing yeoman's work in keeping the support for Hep and IU Football going. ]]> The Leadup

When we were putting together the initial post on Hoeppner we scoured through our contacts in the Athletic Department. Some are employees and some are student athletes but they were uniform in what information they gave us, which was little. What we believed to be factual, minus a few details we determined to be privileged, went into the article when we summed up the situation. We never predicted what came next (actually Cobra did and Bruce Paine did not). The support was immediate and tremendous. Within the 100 or so emails were the six emails I mentioned above. Though all the correspondents asked for anonymity (and got it) they all said they knew for certain that Hep would not return. They all received essentially the same reply. Since various news outlets had been making an issue out of the contract situation in Hoeppner's case, I asked all six individuals if their knowledge was based from information regarding his contract being voided or if he intended to step down. I then told them that if their information was medically based I didn't want to know about it. The Cobra Brigade never had any intention of investigating that or breaking that sort of news. Regardless, five individuals responded to the query and all said that it was based on medical information. Two were very specific and after a few phone calls to a third party, were confirmed to our satisfaction to be truthful. Cobra wisely decided that reporting on Hoeppner's health, at that stage, was not our place. On June 15, when IU announced that Bill Lynch would take over as head coach, the Cobra Brigade took that as a sign that Hep's situation was deteriorating. We then received emails from some of the same individuals that had initially contacted us indicating that to be the case. Cobra again made the sage decision to post a support blog for Hoeppner and Lynch and leave it there. That brings us up to today, when we learned that Terry Hoeppner had passed away this morning.

Moving On

I am sure many folks will begin to speculate as to how Indiana University will move on in the next season. The majority of the talk will concern who follows Hoeppner as coach of the Hoosiers. While I am sure that it is a situation Athletic Director Rick Greenspan has pondered, I find it hard to believe that the routine will change much from what it has been since the spring. Bill Lynch, as IU told us last Friday, will be leading the Hoosiers during the 2007 campaign. He brings to the field a young team with an exciting offense that has a year of experience under its belt and a few interesting seniors who look to make big impacts. James "Jimmy Real Deal" Hardy at wide receiver, Tracy Porter at corner, and Marcus Thigpen at tailback will be the highest profile. As for who will be taking over for the 2008 season, I will move it to the backburner. There are simply too many stories inside the state of Indiana in the college football world to be focusing on a decision we won't hear about until the 2008. Bill Lynch will have a good season at IU, probably even a winning season and maybe even a... well we aren't going to use that word until October 20th.

The Wrap Up

The story of Terry Hoeppner at IU is a really good one until you say the word "cancer". With the spirit he put back into the program, it may even have a happy ending the Hoosiers around the nation can be proud of. I can't begin to fathom the heartbreak Coach Hep's family is going through, but I can only take it as a good omen for the future that Hep's wife and kids were at the groundbreaking today for the improvements to Memorial Stadium. When I learned how dire the situation regarding Hep's health had become, it was a bodyblow I am still feeling. The Hoosier fanbase feels it, too. But the story is over now, and the time should really belong to the Hoeppners. The Hoosier fans out there have to begin looking forward to the start of 2007 season with anticipation instead of the anxiety we have felt for a the moment that has now come and gone. I part with a contribution from the Hot Tub who emailed me this picture and added a great idea. Hot Tub thinks that somewhere in the pockets of Indiana University there ought to be money enough to buy a piece of bronze and imbue it with the image of Terry Hoeppner in this pose, and that it should be placed here next to his beloved Rock, and that all IU fans may see it and be reminded of the titanic inspiration that radiated from one man.

You can contact Bruce Paine by emailing him at brucelikespaine@yahoo.com

Cubs Looking to Upgrade

2008-05-08T11:25:25Z

As if going 4-9 over their last 13 games wasn't bad enough, it now looks like the Cubs are quickly coming to the conclusion that they need a left-handed hitting power hitter in the middle of their lineup. If only they had listened to me before the season when I said Kosuke Fukudome wasn't going to be that guy.

Look, Fukudome has been really good so far....even better than I thought he was going to be but he's slowly coming back down to Earth and he's not hitting for any power at all (one homer). To have him hit in the fifth spot in the lineup just doesn't make sense. The easy, in-house, solution would be to move Alfonso Soriano down in the order (sound familiar?) and then slide Fukudome up to the second slot and have Ryan Theriot/Reed Johnson hit lead-off but we all know that's not going to happen anytime soon. Another option is to move Geovony Soto to the fifth spot in the lineup but we all know that Lou Piniella hates to have a right handed dominant lineup out there. The final in-house option is to have Daryle Ward play more in right field and have him hit fifth....again, not a good option.

So now the rumors about the Cubs trading for Ken Griffey, Jr. and any other available left-handed hitting outfielder (Raul Ibanez?) have begun. It's great that the Cubs players are getting on base more often but right now there seems to be a huge void in the fifth spot in the lineup when it comes to driving in runs, especially with how much Derrek Lee has been getting on base. If the Cubs were able to pick someone up they'd have to slide Fukudome over to center which would take away from the excellent defense the Cubs have been getting in right field so far this year. Ugh. This is what losing streaks will do to you.

Back from Black: Dom Rhodes is a Colt again.

2008-05-08T07:31:05Z

After a year in Oakland, Dominic Rhodes is returning to the Colts' stable to find his place in the gates for the 2008 season. I can't help but be excited about this addition. What was perhaps the thinest position in the Colts roster prior to the draft, running back is now a position that I believe will be a cornerstone for the Colts this year. More inside...

]]>
    Last time Rhodes was with us he was putting the Bears away on the road to 117 rushing yards and a crucial touchdown in the Super Bowl. I thought then and think now that he was overlooked for the MVP. I am not alone, almost every memeber of the team (including the winner, Manning) claimed that Rhodes was the key to the game. He was the guy who was running with a chip on his shoulder, and it made him better. Now he has the chance to do that again.
    Rhodes is not good enough to be a featured back. He isn't big enough, he isn't fast enough, and he doesn't have reliable enough hands to be there on every third down. He does run well on fresh legs. He runs low and has good early drive. He looks good running fresh and downhill. He always has. In Oakland, he never stood a chance.   Oakland is a franchise without clear direction and focus. Rhodes needs that in a team so they can maximize his abilities and hide his deficiencies. The Colts do that as well as anyone. He can be put behind Addai in a contest with Hart for the #2 role and, if properly handled, both can spend the entire season running with a chip on their shoulder trying to prove to their coaches and teammates that they deserve the role. That would be ideal as Hart excels at running mad. Both are better than Keith, who is probably in the doghouse anyway. I will say this, Rhodes and Keith have both been busted for drinking. Rhodes even urinated on himself in the cruiser, which is the height of anti-establishment retribution if I do say so myself. Enough of the funny papers, though...

    Last season Colts fans held their breath every time Addai disappeared into the breach, hoping that he got up okay because we knew if he did not, it was trouble. That is never a good situation for a ball club to be in.   The Colts are known as a passing team, but one ugly reality we must all face is that we no longer possess the depth at the receiver spot to impose our gameplan through the air on every team we play. With Marvin a question mark and Gonzo still developing and no clear backup receiver, that is simply not an option anymore. Now, though, I think the stable of backs is solid enough to carry a much greater load. Where will they make a difference?

    If you watched the Colts play, then you may have seen that the wheels came off the wagon early in fourth quarter. The Colts tended to be strong after halftime adjustments took hold, but they had trouble staying on the field and moving the ball early in the fourth. That was a mark of fatigue in my opinion, and they were either overcoming that or defeating that in all but a few games last year. With a more talented corps of backs, the Colts have other options early in the fourth. They will have fresh legs that can throw against the other guys. Instead of throwing on second and short because Addai is gassed, they can bring in Hart and have him jam it up in the hole for 3 and get the first down then instead of throwing two incomplete passes to mediocre receivers when Reggie is triple covered. Does that not make more sense? Instead of running Addai's legs off in the second quarter, they can give the first drive of the second quarter to Rhodes and he can step in and understand the offense and get in timing and be a factor instead of walking Kenton Keith into the game and announcing to the world that the Colts are going to pass the ball. This is a great sign for everyone involved.

Oh, and so i can answer El Cucaracha's question before he asks it... Melvin Bullitt wears Rhodes' old #33, so I have no idea how that will turn out.

Nothing Rhymes with Votto

2008-05-07T19:03:11Z

Coming into the game today Reds 1B Joey Votto had 4 homers and 14 RBI's on the season. Respectable numbers for an up and coming power hitter. He's not exactly putting fear into your heart before the game but he's someone to keep an eye on if you are looking to help your fantasy baseball team.

Through six innings today he has 3 homers and 4 RBI's lifting his season totals against just the Cubs to 5 homers and 10 RBI's. He still has three innings to pick up another at-bat, or two.

It might be time to start walking him.

Hello.....We are Cobra Brigade

2008-05-07T14:20:04Z

****There was a request for some of our 'Greatest Hits' now that we are leaving, so I'll try to post maybe one every day. This was our intro post a couple of weeks after we started. It initially ran on May 22, 2007 and it is back today for your pleasure. Hopefully we lived up to our initial intro's.....let us know. I waited a week to write up this welcome introduction because.....I wanted to make sure they'd let us keep the site. Needless to say, we are past the one week probationary period and now all bets are off! So, here is a little rundown of what we are, what we are going to do, you know the rest.

At Cobra Brigade we are going to provide you with interesting, witty, sarcastic, funny, etc. posts about the Cubs, Bulls, NBA, MLB, St. Louis Cardinals, Atlanta Braves, Indianapolis Colts and the NFL as a whole. We will also attempt to cover some other 'around the sports world' items from time to time as well. Also, by now you know about our feelings for Miss Erin Andrews.....those will continue to grow. We will explain more about that later.

For those of you who have come over here from the site I formerly wrote at....."Hi!". For those of you who are new here....."Hello". I started this website because I needed a place to push out my thoughts on the Cubs, Bulls and the sports world. Unfortunately, one man does not a website make. So, I've brought along three of my good friends to help me out. Their details are below.

Buck Rampage is a man with many loves in life including fine women, stout lager, nachos, and most of all sports. As a wee lad, Buck was bred with mid-western sensibilities and brought up to love the St. Louis Cardinals. He continues to follow these beliefs and loves to this day. They have not led him astray thus far. Buck can not imagine anything better than sitting at Busch Stadium on a lovely summer afternoon with a large Bud Light, a voluptuous woman on his arm, and a large tray of loaded nachos sitting in his lap. That's the life!

I am Captain Morgan , the evil pirate that has sailed the seven seas, captured countless ships, plundered enough booty to make any deckhand mutinous, and will occasionally write about sporting events taking place from the eastern seaboard to Atlanta, Georgia and beyond. My drink of choice is rum, and often I'm only coherent when I've had copious amount of it. I am sarcastic, brash, and usually intoxicated. Braves baseball, general baseball happenings, and college basketball are my writing interests, so visit early and often.

Another writer we will have here at Cobra Brigade is Bruce Paine. Unfortunately, Bruce is either a)in Mexico drinking Tequila, b)in jail, or c)walking through the streets of Rome with a wonderful woman. He will write predominantly about the Indianapolis Colts and the NFL when he makes his debut.

Finally, there is me...or I.....or whatever, I'm Jack Cobra. You should probably know me by now since my last name is on the site. I am an instigator and impetus for change. I like my women in the Erin Andrews mold.....smart, beautiful and with a great smile; they are my greatest weakness. I have an unhealthy love for the Chicago Cubs and Chicago Bulls, but I will weigh in on MLB and the NBA as a whole from time to time. While I will write primarily on this site, you can also find me at YAYSports talking basketball on Friday's as a guest writer. I am the leader of this site and now you've met my brigade.

Enjoy the site and come back daily to check out what we're bringing to the table.

Does IU Athletics Have a Drug Problem?

2008-05-07T12:37:39Z

****this will be my last IU related post so I'll go ahead and piss everyone off with it.

With QB Kellen Lewis being suspended from the IU Football Team because of drug issues and the IU Basketball Team reportedly failing 19! drug tests this past season, is there a drug problem within IU Athletics?

While I can not be certain there are any issues with any of the other collegiate athletic teams on the Bloomington Campus, there does seem to be a problem with the football and basketball teams and it probably wouldn't be too much of a stretch to thing that there are other programs in Bloomington with the same problems. A+B=C and all that crap. I understand what college is like and how college athletes are but.....I never touched drugs while in college so it's not that difficult to say no.

While a lot of the blame fails on the players, or former players, some fault also lies with the Administration. I'm sure they go over the IU Athletics drug policy before each season but it seems that it hasn't been enough. If players are failing multiple drug tests before being suspended from a team....then something is wrong.

These kids do not need to be kicked off the team to have a point made but an initial suspension in coordination with a drug education program would seem to be the easiest thing to do at the beginning. Indiana makes so much money off of these student-athletes that it has to be in their best interests to do what they can to get these kids clean and keep them there.

Playmates, Celebrities, Derby, Free Booze = So Jealous!!!

2008-05-07T00:43:46Z

While reading/weeping through Jack's farewell warning post and comments earlier I noticed that MCBias mentioned the classic Cougar posts (1, 2). Well, no news to report here. Last time I talked to the cougar was four or five months ago and she had a new live in boyfriend so that's that. However, I've now moved onto bigger and better things......Playboy Playmates. Follow after the jump and let me digress....

]]> 4th Street Live area of Louisville later that night.

Somehow we started the day off taking these Twistee shots outside of the liquor store around 11 AM. Yes.....this action would seem to point some sort of alcoholic tendencies. The shots were actually pretty good and kicked off what was sure to be a great day. Next, we were off to Churchill Downs where you get hounded for parking like a crack addict looking to score in Queens. The day was looking beautiful, the ladies in their hats were looking beautiful and the Mint Juleps were looking downright delectable. Gambling, gawking, drinking, and puzzlement took place over the next few hours. The puzzlement came from trying to understand the damn horse racing programs and what not. I took the betting stance of taking the horse with the coolest name and concurrently the second or third best odds to show. The Exacta box also made an appearance a few times throughout the day for me personally. Hell, I've only been to the race track a few times and don't know what I'm doing, but it still led to me winning in about half the races. These results fared much better than one of my buddies who was down $400 before we knew. The good day became gloomy and the Gods rained down from the heavens to make everyone rush under the grandstand. The rest of the afternoon was spent in this location watching the races on 13 inch TVs above the betting windows. It was depressing, yet still invigorating to watch the race on a TV when you knew they were actually happening just 200 yards from where you were standing. Finally, we had enough and hit up the never ending cab line.

Next we picked up another friend and it was off to Caesar's to win back some of my one buddies lost $400. After a couple, three hours he had successfully won back all of his cash and then some. Then the night began to get interesting.

I have left out a little tidbit....actually the most important point in the night and in the story. Earlier I had said we were planning on heading to 4th Street, but I was lying to you all. I'm sorry but it had to be done. A few weeks ago when the May issue of Playboy came out I noticed that the centerfold was a young lady named AJ Alexander. Ms. Alexander happened to from Evansville, IN and is around my age. Therefore, I assumed that one of my friends would know the saucy vixen. Turns out.....one of my friends is dating her! Sooooo, once our little group learned this little trinket of information and learned that there would be a Playboy party in Louisville on Friday night our game faces were on. Luckily, my buddy who lost and then won back all of his money is really good friends with the Playmates boyfriend and has actually hung out with her a couple of times. The luck eh? We ended up calling AJ while we were at the Oaks to see what was going on and what the possibility of us getting into the party was. She wasn't real positive that we could make it in, but thought there was a chance.

Therefore, after the little stint at the casino we obviously decided to head to the Crown Royal Playboy Lounge at the Mellwood Arts Center. We pull up to the Arts Center all pretty convinced that we will not get into the party. Our friend who joined us late was so sure that he decided not to leave the vehicle, seeing that we would surely be back in about 5 minutes. The original three of us laughed off his shrewd mistake and headed up to the party. On our way we were given a nice playboy umbrella to shield us from the harsh sprinkling rain. Up some stairs and to the right and we were at our Mecca. To the left a purple runway stood out in all its glory for this celebrity and that to take a walk while getting pictures taken. To the right were hot "nobody" girls. Straight ahead were a few playmates in all their utter glory and sexy bunny outfits. We all stood there shell shocked for a good 5 minutes just taking in the scene. Finally we woke up out of our stupor and realized how unlikely it would be that we would get to enter this Utopia, this Valhalla, this Mecca.

Then out of nowhere to our left we suddenly heard a ruckus. This was no ordinary ruckus, this was superstar ruckus and it was well waranted. We turned towards the commotion and lo and behold none other than Michael Jordan strode through with an entourage 20 deep no further than 10 feet from us. Our jaws dropped, our hopes, dropped, but our spirits rode high. I usually don't get to star struck, but it's not everyday that you see Michael Jordan.....seriously. That moment passed and then we realized just how dire our situation was. We were about to admit defeat, turn around and head back to the car and then out of nowhere the wonder AJ Alexander walks out of the party to where we were at the entrance. We got her attention and did a quick wink, wink, nudge, nudge and we were in. On our way through security we called our poor buddy and told him of our good fortune and bid him a good night. There was no hope for him to make it in, better to cut him loose right away.

Upon entering ~~heaven~~ the party everything seemed right with the world. I mean everything. I was Zen, I was centered, I was in my element. More good news was soon on its way as we headed to the bar to learn that Crown Royal and Red Stripe was on the house. This of course lead to me carrying around two Crown and Ginger Ale's the entire night. After securing beverages we made our way back to AJ and her "friends". Among her friends was Michelle McLaughlin, or as you may know her February 2008 Playboy Playmate. (Note: I haven't included any NSFW links here, but let's be honest...you all know how to find what you want). From what I've been told by my friends I was putting my best foot forward with Ms McLaughlin. My game was on display and the Mac skill was at full throttle. Of course, she was working the party and could not indulge in her lust towards me, but on any regular night it was in the bag (excuse me while I re-read that last sentence and laugh out loud). We spoke a good 30 or so minutes and I butted in on a lot of pictures until she had to return to working the party and had to hang out with what some may call "celebrities". I will always remember my time with Michelle. Yes I will.

Speaking of celebrities..... Hugh Hefner had his own little VIP with his three girlfriends. I got a nice little blurry snapshot with my camera. It looks like it was taken by a drunk man.....which it was, but here it is for you all to take a look at. As I said earlier, Michael Jordan was at the party and I actually gave him the old "What's up Mike?" and a pat on the shoulder as he walked right by me. He didn't pay attention to me, but it didn't hurt my feelings. There were quite a few other celebrities there including Randy Moss, D-Wade, Gabrielle Union, Vince Young, etc. They were mostly holed up in the VIP area having a good time, but a couple came out and mingled with the common folk.

There's not a whole lot more to say. I lost my friends many times and just wandered around talking to people. There was a barber there and I was 5 seconds from going up and asking for a trim. I saw more beautiful women than I could count, 12 of which were playmates. We ended up leaving the party as it wound down. It must of been around 4:30 AM when we headed out. We hailed a cab after a large effort and paid the small fare of $70 to get back to my buddies house. It would have been nice to have our other friend around to drive us home, but the $70 was a small sum to pay for one of the coolest nights of your life.

So....once again I didn't score, but I would bargain to say that this night was still a definite winner. Pictures from AJ are supposedly on the way and as long as they get here by June, I will let you all see them. The only negative from the night is that I'm not sure if I will ever be able to enjoy a normal party again. Playboy parties is how I roll now bitches!

**Site News -- The End is Near

2008-05-06T14:31:49Z

Well folks, we are coming up on our one year anniversary of being a blog and you know what??? It's about time for us to pack up our bags and move along. Keep reading to find out how this blog fell apart, why I'll never buy my "colleagues" beer again and what's going to happen next..... ]]> Yeah, you kind of got suckered into clicking 'keep reading'. Sorry about that.

Unfortunately, it's now time for me to announce that we've reached the end of the line and our blog days will be coming to an end on June 1st. I've asked Brian to just pull the site from existence, but he owns it so he's free to do as he wants......Some blogs like to leave you hanging without ever know what's happening. Some blogs like to just close up shop and leave town....our blog likes to keep you informed because....you've been there to support us through nearly 12 months. While we've had almost 200,000 visitors and while we appreciate them all, this explanation is for those that have been around the whole time supporting us. THANKS.

I'm sure we've all seen the random blogs shut down that have multiple writers because they've all grown to hate each other. That's not happening here. We're at the same place, friendship-wise, that we were when we started this thing. You can throw the idea that we're feuding and hate each other out the window. This now ends the nearly three paragraphs of disclaimers, let's get onto something good.

**********************************************

Life happens and things change. It's inevitable. I'm closing on a house with TLD this upcoming Monday, moving to a new state, renting out the house I own and leaving the only job I've had as an adult. Cpt. Morgan is working his way to becoming one of the top Podiatrists in the Northeast (although there are those who don't believe in Podiatry). Bruce Paine has moved to ~~Australia~~ Minnesota and is now living a life of luxury with his wonderful girlfriend, Malea. Buck Rampage is quickly moving up the ranks in our branch here at work and will soon be taking over leadership roles once given to those much older than him while still being able to enjoy Playboy parties at the Kentucky Derby. Life happens and there are only so many hours in the day. We just have too much going on. That's the only explanation.

We prefer to leave you guys on top of our game instead of letting our blog slowly die. We always felt it was important to give our readers consistent coverage and we aren't going to be able to do that anymore. Rather than look at our site two months from now and seeing a carcass of what once was....we prefer to leave with it flourishing. Our readers don't deserve to be jerked around. A lot of you we already know personally and we hate to leave anyone hanging.

When we first started this site it was only an extension of our previous emails/conversations. What you see on these posts are the same things you'd be hearing if you caught us watching the Cubs play the Cardinals/Colts play the Patriots/etc. We never strayed from what we were and we're proud of that. When we heard rumors, we double checked on them before passing them along just like we would in real life. When we were mad, we wrote like we were mad. When we saw a hot woman, we talked about it. When one of us couldn't write because they were too busy...the others picked him up. We weren't in this 'blogging' thing trying to make cash from it or to become 'respected journalists'. Our email chains on IU Basketball were getting too long and we just thought it would be easier to put on a blog for all to see.

Blogs that cover the Cubs/Cardinals/Colts/Braves/IU Basketball don't work. They just don't. There are just too many things to talk about and the readers get confused. We knew from the beginning that we weren't going to be the next Deadspin. We didn't want to be. I know it wouldn't have been that difficult to pull in the traffic to be a top-5 blog but that's not what we are/were. When we needed traffic, we pulled it. The rest of the time, we relaxed. We are four guys sitting around shooting the shit. For some reason, this blog worked. I really liked our blog, I really liked our readers.

So.....there will be some farewell posts in the future from us but for now...please share your thoughts with us. What do you want from us this last month? If you have questions you want answered, now is the time to ask them. We've always tried to oblige our readers and will continue to do so. Again, thanks.

Bruce Paine gets naked for you.

2008-05-05T10:15:20Z

Back at the first of the year, Jack mentioned that he wanted me to tell more stories about guns and politics and knives and hurting and nudity. He wanted me to branch out and do more for the Brigade, which sounds disgusting, but more importantly he wanted me to tell a specific story. So, if you ever wondered what it takes to get Bruce Paine to run naked down a busy street with a knife in his hand, come inside and find out.

]]> It really started about three and half years ago. I was looking for a new place to live and moved in with a couple buddies from my hometown. It was a nice little house on a quiet, dead-end street just off Rogers Street about a half mile south of the hospital. It was a much better spot than I had been in, far quieter and more easygoing. I loved it. After the first year, the real-estate company that owned the house was selling it, and they were not going to renew our lease. That really sucked for us, because we liked living there. My room mates were good fellows. Radio was a classmate and good worker and a guy who always had his stuff together. Smokey was a pothead and lazy as they come but there wasn’t anything wrong with him. He was a year behind Radio and I in school. So, with a few months left on his lease we were all starting to look for places to go and preparing to go our separate ways. Smokey had a plan. His parents had been people of some means, and his father had died young. As a consequence, Smokey’s mom had spoiled him a little and he was going to try to take advantage of that by asking her to buy the house from the real-estate company and then have us rent it back from her. I shouldn’t say “take advantage”, it was a legit business purchase on her part, but it was a maneuver on the part of Smokey to keep his life easy and I suspect he instigated it for the sole purpose of not having to move his shit into a new place.

Radio was striking off on his own, so it was just me and Smokey, and his mother asked him if he would take responsibility to keep a renter in the third room. Things went well for me. I just started giving my rent checks to Smokey and he gave them to his mom instead of me mailing them to the old company. Things were fine. Smokey had trouble renting the third room.

First, Smokey rented it to one of his buddies. Unfortunately, all of Smokey’s buddies were potheads and had real responsibility trouble. This buddy was no exception. Things were fine for a few months, then that guy quit his job working the cell phone kiosk at the local Sam’s Club because it was too high pressure. He skipped out. The next was a great story I don’t have time to tell. The third guy answered a newspaper ad. He weighed about 400 pounds and worked part time at a pharmaceutical company. He lost his job for wearing a shirt that said, “Two in the Pink and One in the Stink”. He rented al of his furniture and it was repossessed about a month later because he wouldn’t pay for it. He started dealing really shwag weed out of the front yard and allowed one of his friends to start a tattoo parlor in our living room. He wouldn’t stop smoking his crappy weed in the living room or dealing out front so I told him if he didn’t stop I was going to beat him up. He didn’t take me seriously, so when I came home for lunch one day and found him getting a brick from his supplier I told his supplier if I saw him again I was going to shoot him in the face. I told the fat kid if he didn’t stop, I was going to beat him with a piece of garden hose. It stopped but the kid didn’t get a job. He stopped paying rent, and Smokey was such a push over and non-confrontationalist that he let the kid stay for six weeks without paying rent.

We went without a third guy for a while and things were okay. I didn’t have any problem. Smokey’s mom was missing out on money, though, and that wasn’t very cool. Radio was a co-worker of mine, and he was closer to Smokey than I was. So Radio comes up to me at work and says, “Hey, do you still have your guns in the house?” and I said I did. He then told me I needed to keep an eye out because Smokey had found us a new room mate. The new room mate was a guy that had gone to middle school with us for a year. Smokey found him on MySpace. All I knew about the guy was that everything he had ever said to anyone was a lie. He was pathological. According to Radio, Smokey found the guy on the net and the guy was looking to get out of where he was. He claimed to be a recovering smack addict that whose girlfriend had recently died of drug trouble. He had no job, driver’s license, or money. He had a history of being unreliable and a liar, and now he was coming to dinner. Smokey wasn’t going to tell me until he moved in because he didn’t want to confront me about it. Thanks to Radio, I was saved from the ambush. I confronted Smokey about it and he was embarrassed but he was going to let the guy move in, he was even going to pick the kid up from the bus station. I told Smokey that he wasn’t to be trusted and he was going to take from us and never pay rent, Smokey couldn’t tell anyone “no”, though, and wanted to give him a chance.

The guy moves in and things are okay for the first two weeks. I never saw the guy try to find a job, but Smokey said he had paid the first month’s rent in cash. I was wary nonetheless. I didn’t talk to the guy much, he had told me his sob story, and my bullshit detector exploded. The sad thing was that Smokey’s did too, he just wouldn’t call the guy out. The second week of March I was flying to Minneapolis to spend my gal’s spring break with her. I was worried. I decided to heed the advice of Radio and I took my guns to my parent’s house. Those were the only things of value I had. When I got back to the house I played a little ping pong with Smokey and told him to keep his eyes open.

My week in Minneapolis went well. There is a place that has awesome french toast. I ate there often. I had to help my girlfriend grade the mid-term essays for her students. That was agonizing. She put me in charge of grading their grammar, which was worth 10 points out of 50. She said I was too harsh. I didn’t give any of the kids a 10. Evidently that was a problem. I am telling you, kids aren’t getting an education. They don’t rite so good no more. After a week, I was heading home.

The airline I flew back then was a small, regional company. They are great. They give me warm cookies and the stewardesses were all young, pretty, nice, and had the wonderful quality of not speaking too loudly. The only problem was it required a layover in Milwaukee, which has an airport like a Greek armpit. My flight was supposed to get into Indy at midnight but fog in Milwaukee kept me till 2 a.m. Monday morning. By the time I got back to Bloomington it was nearly 3 and I was beat. Everybody was asleep, so I just slipped into the house. I put my wallet and my keys on my chest of drawers. I dropped my kit and discovered I had no clean PJs so I just put on my birthday suit and went to sleep.

About 6:30 a.m. Smokey started his truck to go to work. His old pick up was parked next to my bedroom window, so I woke up. My own alarm was going to go off in about thirty minutes so I decided not to try to go back to sleep.

A word about me… I hate light pollution. So, to sleep at night, I hang sheets over all my windows so that it is actually dark in my bedroom. You see, at night, it is supposed to be dark, not orange, so I make it dark, as God intended.

After about ten minutes, I here a jingle at my bedroom door. It cracked open. I thought it was Smokey’s dog. But when it crept further open I could see and arm pushing it. What the Hell is going on? The next thing I know, this half-assed smack addict is running his hands along my wall looking for a light switch. I wanted to say something, but then I realized that with my room as dark as it was and he having just come from the light of the kitchen, he could not see me. To my amazement, he started rummaging through my desk in the dark. My hand slowly moved towards the rifle next to my bed only to discover that it wasn’t there, I had taken it to Mom and Dad’s house. I had a moment of panic. I didn’t know if this guy was going to get violent when he realized he had been caught. I didn’t know if he was armed or dangerous. By this time, he was searching the top of my TV stand, me not knowing what he was after. When I built my bed I built a shelf onto the headboard so I could have a place to put books I was reading. I remembered that, on the little ledge, was a handmade hunting knife one of my best friends had given me when I got my degree. Isn’t funny how your friends are always there when you really need them? So I slowly moved my hand up to the shelf and pulled the knife out of its sheath. As I watched the silhouette of this joker search my stuff, he moved to me chest of drawers, which was right next to my bed. He stood right next to me and started going through my drawers. At this point, I decided he had gone far enough. In the beginning it was kind of funny to me, and I thought I would let him hang himself. Now he was about a foot away from my wallet and things weren’t as funny.

I vaulted out of bed and landed right behind him. He jumped about a foot in the air and I told him not to move. He stammered. I told him not to speak if all he could think up was a lie. I told him to get out. He sidestepped a few times and walked out of my room without looking back. I couldn’t see past the brim of my cap, so to speak. I was pretty cranked up. I was going to shoot him at first. I was certain of it. When I didn’t have my gun the prospect of sticking him was something I was willing to do if he didn’t behave very specifically. None of those things were very appealing. I stood there for a moment considering what had just happened. My first thought was that he was after money. I looked for my wallet. I couldn’t find it. I freaked out. The bastard stole my wallet.

I ran out of my room into the kitchen. He was standing in the living room next to the front door. He saw me, the knife in my hand, and took off out the door. I gave chase. When I got outside he was already running down the road towards Rogers Street. He probably had 20 yards on me. I ran after him. Rogers was about 200 yards from the house and when he got there he turned left. He had about 50 yards on my by then. He had shoes on, I didn’t. He was also a skinny bum who probably got chased a lot, so he was fast. When I got to Rogers I followed him and we ran north. He ran to the east side of the street and cut into some houses. I got to houses and couldn’t find him. There is a run down batch of houses that have overgrown back yards. He had gotten in there some where and I couldn’t find him. Pissed, I gave up and decided to go home and call the cops. It was when I got back to Rogers, and started walking home, that I realized that I was naked. I realized because Rogers is a busy street, and all of the people that had to be at work at 8 a.m. (which is everyone) got to see my dick. Those people were very helpful, and alerted me to my condition by honking. I could have run home, but you shouldn’t run with sharp things in your hand, and the cat was out of the bag anyway.

When I got home I turned the lights on in my room and discovered that my wallet was laying next to the chest of drawers, with all my money still in it. I had chased him down the street for nothing.

That is story of Bruce Paine running naked down a busy street with a knife in his hand chasing a pathological liar who may or may not have been a smack head. Sigh…

There’s a little Monday morning content for you.

What the F#&% is going on with Marvin Harrison?!

2008-05-03T08:25:28Z

It is no secret that I worship the ground that Marvin Harrison walks on. So, I have no idea what to say about the reports circulating that he was involved in a shooting in North Philadelphia Tuesday afternoon. The information that has been released is thin and unrevealing. Bruce Paine is shaken and confused. Apparently a fistfight broke out in a bar Harrison owned and Marv escorted the instigator from the establishment. As near as I can tell, the shooting did not take place int he parking lot, as had been reported, but a block or so down the street. The timeline between the participators leaving the bar and the shooting has not been reported with any accuracy. Some sources say it happened immediately after in the parking lot and yet there are a few reports that say it happened about 20 minutes later down the block. The victim of the shooting was hit in the hand and the gun that fired the shots is registered to Harrison. Marvin claimed the gun had never left his house but it was found at a carwash he owned shortly after. None of this is good. I am embarrassed that my guy was involved in something so sloppy and irresponsible. First, if you skin it, win it. Don't leave them walking. Second, don't skin it if it isn't important. Nothing reported yet seems to indicate that it was important enough to skin it. That is shameful indeed. Third, if you skin it, don't hide it. It just causes trouble, and that is exactly what seems to have happened. I have no idea what Pennsylvania's gun laws are, it may very well be the case that you can shoot somebody there and it isn't against the law. At the very least, though, this smells like reckless endangerment and obstruction. That is not good. If Harrison was not the shooter he was, at the very least, tacitly involved and very irresponsible as a gun owner. Neither of those things are forgivable in my book. It is very shameful for me.