Cobra Brigade

A little Colts football talk for Monday morning.

2009-07-05T20:16:35Z

Hate the news about Steve McNair. Don't like it one bit. Don't want to comment, though.

In other news, the Colts have wrapped up their pre-camp stuffis and we won't see a lot of team activities until camp starts up on August 3rd. That doesn't mean we shouldn't talk about 'em. I realize I am not much of a blogger, and I don't have time to post often, but I'm a tryin.

Keep your eyes peeled on Arin it Out. He may have an interesting bit coming up on the Colts in a week or so.

Stampede Blue is by far the best of the Colts blogs in terms of coverage, and I visit about twice a week. One of their recurring articles is called "Finding the Winning Factors", which I believe may be a take on the most influential football book on the modern NFL, Finding the Winning Edge by Bill Walsh. Anyway, in this series they examine a king hell load of statistics to evaluate efficiency and success trends in the NFL. Ironically enough, the Colts are at or near the top in most of the quantitative stats. Perhaps the most interesting is this post, which examines Drive Success Rate. I encourage you to examine the statistics for yourself. I am generally nto much for numbers as they provide no context and can be easily skewed, but I would advise you to look at the # of successful Colts drives versus the number of total drives and then compare them to other good QBs. You willl have to note how good Manning really is.
Drive Success Rate looks like this:
(First Downs + Pass TDs + Rush TDs) / (First Downs + Drives)
If you look at the math, and the vast discrepancies between historically successful teams and historically bad teams, which is something I talk about a lot. (You know, good franchises are good a lot, bad franchises are bad a lot and good every once in a while.) What I like about this is that it shows how good teams win, they either complete drives (offensive teams) or they stop drives (defensive teams). Of course, that sounds stupid to say out loud, but what I mean is that teams can find success by focuisng a part of their game one direction or the other and going with it.
Consider this, the overall strategy, not just the game plan, that the Colts use is to have a very good offense rely on playmakers at certain parts of the defense to make just enough plays to give them an edge. (Freeney sacks a guy on second down and forces a third an long, Mathis forces a guy to throw it away on third and six, Sanders pops a guy in the whole to stuff him on third and three.) If the Colts make these kinds of plays with enough impact to stall one or two drives a game, the numbers bear out that the Colts offense will be able to provide the win (on average). Baltimore's strategy is very much the opposite. Choke the other team to death and force a field position game. (If the offense can score 10 points we have a shot!) The Colts accumulate wins with successful drives, Baltimore accumulates wins by forcing unsuccessful drives. The statistics provided in this examination on SB shows the relative success of their strategies. I don't really have a lot of blogs specific to teams on the blog roll, but Stampede Blue is damn near earning a spot.

For your Independence Day interest. Paul Revere and the colonists did NOT shout, "The British are coming!" in April of 1775. Why? Because everyone was British then. The colonists themselves were British. Revere said, "The regulars are coming out," and he said it quietly because he did not want to let anybody know what the Hell he was doing. The redcoats were advancing to seize powder stores in Concord and arrest Hancock, Adams, and the lot. Regardless, it is important to understand that, for the sake of accuracy, all parties were under the same institutional control, that being the state of the United Kingdom. The difference between civil war and revolution is a semantic one, the same as Obi-Wan's "point of view". Today, when our special forces go into a country and train men how to fight in ad hoc outfits, it is generally called unconventional warfare. When we are in a different country and someone uses it on us, we call it terrorism. As popular as it is to believe, that is not new. When the Vietnamese used these tactics on American troops stationed in South Vietnamese cities, we called it terrorism then, too. Oddly, when we met their forces in the field, their tactics were considered guerrilla warfare. I am not entirely certain who gets to make that distinction. I am a fairly well trained historian, a great deal of that focusing on the history of armed conflict, and as near as I can tell, who decides is based on which side you are on. That, I am consistently startled to discover, is good enough for a lot of people.
People operate under the comforting idea that freedom, once obtained, is a static device that holds infinitum. That is certainly not the case. Freedom is an abstract concept. The volume of liberty you have exists on a sliding scale that based on what liberties and privileges you enjoy and how much you are allowed to enjoy them. As the scope and strength of government increases or decreases, that volume does the same. There is no place in the Constitution that offers a "right to privacy". That right exists because people whose opinion legitimizes government behavior have decided that the right is intrinsic or inherent. It has not always been that way and it may not always stay that way. In the grand scheme of things, the right to privacy is new and if it disappeared tomorrow it would appear as a glitch on the radar.
Time is running short to stomach apathy. It is not good enough to say you are for "that" because you call yourself "this" and the guys that are selling "that" call themselves "this" as well. You can't just pull the lever and go home with a clean conscience. No no, friends. You have to take it a step further. The television is busted, and the fount of its ideas are ten words long and not nearly substantial enough to make a decision. You have to read. Read the news as objectively as possible and then for a subjective you. Read different news, read old news, read tea leaves and the ketchup stains on the wall. Read Read Read. ]]>

Cobra Crackdown: 4th of July Edition

2009-07-01T12:58:19Z

(You get this a day early because of the holiday)

I'll be honest with you, I haven't had that many memorable 4th of July's. I wasn't a kid who was big on setting off fireworks and many of my weekends growing up were filled with baseball tournaments so I didn't spend much time watching fireworks shows and doing whatever makes 4th of July memorable for most of you. But.....I did have one very, very memorable 4th of July and it includes wiffle ball and 'The Creature from the Black Lagoon'. Keep reading to hear the story and to catch up on some sports related stuff......

]]> Everyone has a friend who just flat out knows how to throw a party. Well, I'm no different. My friend, we'll call him "Weber", throws 4th of July bashes that are like mythical beasts of nature. Everyone has heard of them but few have seen them. It is filled with alcohol, a beautiful pool, music, laughs, alcohol, alcohol, women, his family and....wiffle ball. For many years I had to turn down an invite but when I was, I believe, 22, I was able to attend and participate in the festivities. I'll never forget it.

I'll skip the appetizer and get straight to the main course. We're all playing wiffle ball and we're all trashed. When I say all of us I'm talking about 9 guys, 2 girls and.....Weber's Grandfather. We're all absolutely trashed. We're all having a great time.

Weber's wiffle ball field is set up pretty normally except for the fact that there isn't an outfield fence. His backyard led up to a corn field so anything hit in the corn field was an automatic home run. The only exception was if you dove from the grass into the corn field to nab a fly ball. The only thing wrong with this setup was that.....Weber's septic tank run-off ran along the third row of the corn field. Everyone knew and was well aware of this.

So we're playing wiffle ball, drinking beer, cracking jokes, hitting on women....having Weber's Grandmother hitting on Cpt. Morgan.....everything is pretty much normal. It's a tight game so the competitive juices start flowing a little bit. No one wants to lose. Least of all, Grandpa Weber.

I'm standing on third base when the next player on my team, it might have been Cpt. Morgan, hits a blast that's heading straight for the corn field. No doubt about it. We're going to be up a couple of runs easily when all of a sudden....yet in slow motion....we all see Weber's Grandfather start to run back to catch the ball......he ignores the 'no catching in the corn field unless diving from the grass' rule and starts floating about in the second row of the cornfield.....the home run blast is finally losing it's momentum and preparing to fall to Earth when it gets to the third row....Grandpa Weber is chasing after this ball like he probably chased after the Germans. Nothing will stop him yet we are all wondering what the hell he's doing.

Next thing you know, Grandpa Weber leaves his feet and is Jim Edmonds-style diving for the wiffle ball in the third row of the cornfield. He finally falls to terra firma and we all begin to worry a little bit when we don't see movement. With the combination of corn (knee high by the 4th of July) and septic run-off (shit stew), we fear this man might have expired.

Suddenly, yet slowly, we begin to see movement much like Hulk Hogan and his patented rise from the mat. One leg comes up....we see an arm....we see a leg....and finally Grandpa Weber rises up.....wiffle ball in his right hand.....and covered in shit. He looked like a combination of 'The Creature from the Black Lagoon' and 'The Blob'. He screams that Cpt. Morgan is out (!!!) but we're all already on the ground in tears from laughing so hard. You can't keep playing after something like that happens.

I would pay $1,000,000 to see that happen again but I know it never will. On days that are rough, I just think of that memory. Onto the sports stuff.....

- Cubs - Aramis Ramirez is supposed to come back next week so the Cubs Management is hoping that he'll turn things around. I don't see it happening because this ballclub is fundamentally very poor. They aren't hitting with runners in scoring position, they are making bad plays in the field and Milton Bradley and Alfonso Soriano are jokes. I'd almost say to start trading guys (Rich Harden, Kevin Gregg) but there isn't anyone in the system that's ready to come up for some seasoning. On the bright side, Jake Fox has looked decent at third base.

- NBA Free Agents - Really, who cares?

- Pitchmen - I told you guys about this show a few weeks ago and by now we all know that Billy Mays has passed away. I have to say this was more upsetting to me than the death of Michael Jackson.

Anyways, that's all I have since it's a short week. Enjoy your 4th of July but beware of the shit stew.

An open letter to my peoples.

2009-06-30T03:17:56Z

On Sunday, July 5th, Bruce Paine will be hosting a flag football contest at Bryan Park in Bloomington, Indiana. Time for kickoff will be around 2 bells so everybody can get some prayin in. I will assume refreshments will be provided to some degree either on site or at Hot Tub's shack. Most of you will be getting phone calls to confirm or deny your attendance throughout the week.

Where is Ted Williams when you need him?

2009-06-29T02:56:11Z

I have been thinking a lot about hitting lately. Can't say why exactly. The most readily apparent reason would be that my hitting with the MCP Fighting Cocks has been really inconsistent. I drive the ball well one day, the next day I am popping up and hitting ducks off the neck of the bat. That really isn't the whole reason, though. I have been thinking a lot about hitting all year. Some of it has to do with seeing so many Albert Pujols at bats.

One day I was sitting watching Pujols bat against the Brewers, and he was just magic. I sent Jack Cobra a text message posing this question,

"Is there any debate to the statement 'Albert Pujols is the best hitter in baseball'?" to which Jack replied,

"None." I then asked the question,

"If he is clearly the best, who is second?"

"A-Rod, Manny makes an argument but A-Rod."

I don't know if many of you out there are book readers, but the Ted Williams book The Science of Hitting has been on my mind all summer. When I was a kid, I found a copy in the local library and read it (probably because it was short and had a lot of pictures). Some of its wisdom made an imprint, but mostly I remembered that he was a fan of the hitting of George Brett and Wade Boggs.

Last week, the MCP Fighting Cocks were in trouble. Not only was I playing horribly in the field, which is always hardest on my psyche, but I was throwing at bats away in the purest sense. I was coming up with guys in scoring position and two outs and dinking stuff back to the pitcher. I was popping up on the first pitch. Most of it was clearly mental. The only mechanical thing that was off was that my ahnds were getting a little far off my body, probably because of fatigue due to pretty scorched and humid weather, but it was mostly mental.

Anyway, in three at bats I had ended two innings with pop ups with guys on second and third and I dribbled one to the second baseman. In my fourth at bat, I was so despondant that I stood in the abtters box and decided I was not going to swing. If he struck me out IN A SOFTBALL GAME then I guess he got me. I lucked out. I think the pitcher was expecting me to jump on the first pitch and gave me two wide pitches. By the time he figured out I was taking he had walked me. We ended up losing anyway.

The notion of plate discipline is a key theme to Williams' book, and I think it is good advice he offers. He says a lot of things that make a lot of sense. I don't want to get into it too much because I want people to go out and read the book. It can be done in an hour and has lots of pictures and diagrams. I went out and bought a copy and intend to pass it around to my buddies in an attempt to help them focus. Its just softball, I know, but I want to be better at everything I do. There is always room for improvement despite what all of those exhaustingly satisfied women have told me.

Cobra Crackdown: Supermarket Sweep Edition

2009-06-25T09:47:43Z

Remember back in the day when 'Supermarket Sweep' was on TV and people would run all over the grocery store trying to find the most expensive items to fill their carts with so that they would win? Well, the NBA Draft is tonight and it's the complete opposite of Supermarket Sweep. Instead of teams racing around trying to find the most expensive, bestest item.....you'll see them trying to find a way to trade a 24 oz Filet Mignon (high draft pick) for a bar of soap (very little). Does that make for good TV? No it does not. I encourage you to boycott the draft tonight. This might be the worst draft (in any sport) since you've been alive.

Let's get onto some other subjects after the jump.....

]]> - Superstars on ABC - The rule of thumb is to take a tv show/competition from the 70's and make it better in the new millenium so that you can begin to have cash delivered to your house in wheelbarrows. For some reason ABC has chosen not to follow this strategy as this show was about as fun as Lisa Leslie on the cargo net. Being a Cowboys fan, obviously Joanna Krupa was the highlight of the first show as she bitched out Terrell Owens for being a bad teammate but besides that the show was flat. You can't tell me that ABC isn't able to pull bigger 'celebrities' than Dan Cortese and the dude from Baywatch for this show. Get some athletes who actually want to be there, too. Anyways, while watching the show and complaining I actually came up with an idea for a new TV show that I would absolutely watch.

- Best Athlete on the Planet - Here is what you do. You film a tv show in February in a warm location and you lay $5 or $10 million dollars in cash on a table. Decide what ten physical activities it will take to decide who the best athlete on the planet is and you hold an open invitation for two weeks. Do not pay airfare or accomadation fees for anyone. If you want the money, show up. For that amount of cash don't you think everyone would come out of the woodwork to win it? Let's get these athletes actually competing instead of just heading to the Bahamas for a free vacation. Also, no men's/women's bracket for this competition, it's all for one. Go ahead in the comments with what physical activities should be used....

- Cubs vs White Sox - I can't remember the last time I cared less about these two teams matching up. I'm not exactly counting down the seconds until I get to watch two mediocre teams play for bragging rights to a city that is stuck with Cutler-mania.

- Peter Gammons and Peter King - I talked about Peter King a little bit in Paine's post but I'm also going to have to add Peter Gammons to the list of sportswriters who I just don't like anymore. This might actually be more of a reason why I don't like 'Baseball Tonight' much anymore, but I just feel like Gammons is mailing it in these days and while he is from Boston and spent most of his career covering the Red Sox, he's becoming a Red Sox Managment homer more and more every day. Gammons got into the Hall of Fame for a reason and it wasn't because he was kissing the butt of Theo Epstein. I used to love his two-minute Spring Training roundup's on SportsCenter but now I turn the channel whenever he is on tv.

- Donald Fehr Retires - Fehr was probably the most powerful man in baseball behind Bud Selig and that wasn't always a good thing. Fehr's job was to 'do best by the players' and he seemed to do that at time without a conscience. The guy did his job and it's a matter of opinion as to whether or not he was good for baseball. I say no. Some people are saying that Fehr retired because Sammy Sosa's name leaked and that actually takes me to another, albeit possibly larger point...

- The other 102 names - It's time that the 102 names of players who failed drug tests comes out. If I had time I would start my own site called releasethe102.com to build a fan-base and force the names out. I need to know because I need to feel like the game is cleaner now, even if it's not. I need to know because those who cheated need to be held out of the Hall of Fame. I need to know whether the last 15-20 years of baseball were a complete waste of time for me. Feel free to steal that idea or let me know what you think in the comments. I actually feel like Brian would do a great job at this if there were like 32 hours in a day.

- Golf - I'm heading out tomorrow for my one round of golf per year. This will also be my first sun burn of the year. Needless to say, I'm very much looking forward to it.

USA Soccer beats Spain

2009-06-25T02:40:06Z

Its why you play the games. Just got done watching it, knowing the outcome of course, It was taped off of a Spanish language station by my sister and we sat down and watched it tonight. As the broadcast begins, she started to chuckle. Evidently the announcer had suggested that the childish Americans should capitulate so everyone could go home. I am sure USA Soccer has gotten that suggestion before. Not so fast this time around, though. One thing about sports, pretty much any sport really, is: if you have athletes, you can play defense. That is exactly was USA did. When they were on the defensive, their very athletic defensemen were very physical with Spain. Xavi has elbow shaped bruises all over him tonight. And when the USA was on offense, they just ran an old fashion fast break. When Dempsey (pride of Nacogdoches, Texas) or Donovan got the ball, there was no thinking, no form or technique, just go. Such a blunt and inelegant game was just enough to make the difference, and was effective because it gave the USA, which strikes well, chances they would otherwise not get because of Spain's ballhandling (It should be noted, Spain maintains possession for most of the game, and gets many more shots, but they are all wide flank shots and USA is so aggressive Spain's possession time, while extensive, was not fruitful). No, soccer is not much of a market share in the US, but if you can play defense in any sport you have a chance to win.

The good internet.

2009-06-22T23:03:37Z

I was pissed about the internet last week because there is a lot of the internet that is stupid. Mostly it is bad sports blogs, bad mass media websites, poor filtering and framing, and most American pornography. But, I must admit to good internet when I see it. Peter King has a pretty good completion percentage. I think he connects on about 64% of his throws. That is not bad at all. Given that logic, Monday Morning QB is not a bad column, it is good column. Today, it had this article about the Ronin nature of Derrick Brooks. I found this article to be a very good read, in particular is the insight provided by Warren Sapp about the mindset of young players. I would ask people to read that very closely.

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Sapp's comments speak to a greater trend within the game that promotes very little patience, little professional pride, and no sense of place. Teams don't take the time to devlop players and often they acquire free agents with the expectation that the free agent will immediately be worth 4 wins. That is rarely the case. Sometimes, a key free agent can be an excellent addition to a veteran team (Randy Moss, Wes Welker, Reggie White, Deion Sanders) or a shiftless, leaderless, young team (Priest Holmes, Drew Brees). Football, as a game, is not baseball or basketball. It requires more trust and faith between teammates because of the syncronised nature of the game. As it is, most signings take a year or two for the trust to build and the player to fit into the system. Ironically, this was the case with Warren Sapp. As he indicates in the article, a player, even one as great as Sapp was (and Sapp was great, few players of this generation have impacted the game the way he did), can find themselves a fish out of water as he did. If you have read the article, I ask you, would that exchange between Sapp and the young player happened on Sapp's Tampa teams, or Ray Lewis' Baltimore teams? No, established leaders would have engendered a greater sense of history and pride and consciousness of purpose. Young players obtain this mentality by the meat market behavior of their teams.

There are lots of great examples of teams with mercenary mentalities that have doomed themselves to failure. In our generation, Dan Snyder's Redskins and Al Davis and his Raiders are probably the best examples. The Skins have the second highest revenue of any team in the last ten years. How many Playoff seasons have they had? Two or three? How concise has their draft strategy been? How many free agents have they brought in? OF those free agents, who has performed up to expectations? Only the ones that Gibbs brought in. How many coaches have they had since 1999? I would go on to talk about the Raiders but that is too easy. Many other teams have had trouble maintaining continuity and focus (Detroit, Cleveland, Cincy, Houston, Miami, Kansas City, sometimes Dallas but they get it together for short periods sometimes, and Arizona). Lots of factors contribute to long term lack of success, but with really good, long-term success examples that base their organizations on continuity, it would appear that teams without it should acknowledge their impact...MINNESOTA.

Cobra Crackdown: Say It Ain't So(sa).....Who Cares? Bears Moving To My House?

2009-06-18T11:43:03Z

If you just realized this week that Sammy Sosa was using PED's while with the Cubs then you are not just dumb but you are a bad human being. This is not new news and really, this isn't news to anyone with an IQ higher than 42. I'll even go a step further and say that anyone who liked Sosa as a player was borderline retarded.

What will be news is when another name comes out and that player fights the crap out of it and makes MLB give out all the names. Until that happens, Raul Ibanez, don't bother to wake me up. Let's hit on some of the other stuff that's happening around the world of sports....or something like that.

]]> - Bryce Harper - Word came out this week that high school sophomore Bryce Harper is going to grab his GED real quick like and head to community college so that he can be drafted sooner. My opinion on this is going to contradict what I think about the NBA Draft but I really have no problem with what Harper is doing. MLB has a minor league system set up that will weed out the bad talent and keep the good. In that sense, the talent level in MLB won't be changed.

Now, if all sorts of kids start pulling this prank we might have something to keep an eye on. Personally, I don't worry about kids losing their childhood because they are running all over the country playing in AAU games anyways. My worry is that major colleges will begin losing some of their recruits, thus making the College World Series worse. I love the CWS so really this is a selfish reason on my part.

- U.S. Open - It's going to be all Tiger, all the time....well except for the first two rounds. The ability of Michael Jordan to take over the second half of games has been passed on to Tiger Woods taking over the final two rounds of any golf tournament he enters. The guy is good. Some people might want Phil Mickelson to win but it's going to be really tough to play with a clear mind with all the off the course stuff he's dealing with.

- Shaquille O'Neal to the Cavs - This would be the worst thing to happen to the Cavs since ~~the MJ shot~~ they choked against Orlando. They don't need to slow down their offense with a plodding dinosaur, they need to speed things up. The Cavs have the best athlete in the NBA and too many times they are walking the ball up the court. They need to get bigger in the backcourt, too. I'm not sure who they can trade for just yet but they'd be a lot better off with Delonte West coming off the bench. Maybe they could figure out a way to get Vince Carter, he still plays shooting guard, right? Maybe they could get a Von Wafer-type player to fill the hole for cheap.

- College World Series - Is anyone else bothered by the fact that there isn't a single pitcher throwing 95+ at the CWS? Where do all of these flame throwers come from if not from college? With the amount of soft throwing left-handed relievers I've seen so far, I know what I'm doing if I ever have a son.

Also, did anyone else see that NCAA Division I college baseball teams only get like 11.5 scholarships per season? Logic tells me that this keeps most elite programs from signing anyone from too far away unless they are a major prospect since the in-state student could more easily find a way to finance the rest of their tuition. This leaves kids in the Midwest out in the cold.

Look for Texas and LSU to battle it out in the Championship Round although the Texas/UNC match-up might be the true championship game.

- Bears Moving to Romeoville - I don't know exactly how TLD and I ended up in Romeoville but we did. First we have to deal with the kids (One left their bike in our driveway yesterday and TLD put it in the street!) and now I might have to deal with Jay Cutler, Tommy Harris and Brian Urlacher? This truly might force us to move.

- Cubs/White Sox - Well, it looks like they'll get maybe one game in this week and John Danks sure did pitch a gem yesterday as the White Sox took advantage of some Cubs miscues and won 4-1. I actually like Danks a lot and I have him on like three fantasy teams so this really didn't bother me too much. He had a rough stretch that ended a couple of weeks ago but he's a quality lefty that I could see having a magical season at some point in his career. I have to applaud the way the White Sox have brought him along so far in his career.

As for the Cubs....what can you say that hasn't been said already about this team? Lou says he's going to 'shake up the lineup' now but I don't know what he's been waiting for. The starting pitching is solid but it's tough to win when you've scored only 17 runs in the last 7 games. Alfonso Soriano looks all around horrible and it's tough to see Jake Fox get only one at-bat a game when he hits the ball hard like he's been doing. Aaron Miles is worthless and Geovony Soto still looks fat. I think that sums it up.

- Father's Day - The celebration of Dad's is Sunday so don't forget....

The Proper Amount of Cleavage

2009-06-18T10:00:55Z

Perhaps the coolest thing on the internet right now is Erin at Robots Took My Medicine getting to spend the day as the guest blogger at Dodger Stadium. All-Access is the secret word (aaaaaaaahhhhhh) and she questions her own agenda while being surrounded by the meat locker that is a Major League clubhouse. "He didn't read the scouting report!" Freaking hilarious. Anyway, she has the kind of access for one day that any real team fanatic would dream of. What does she do?

The legitimacy of "Would you FU@# it" and the worst piece of internet I have ever seen.

2009-06-17T01:03:20Z

Inside Bruce Paine incites riot and offers and example of why large scale sports media is broken.

You answered "yes" to the question. But, what you may not know, is that she was her high school valedictorian and received a full academic scholarship to Northwestern University to study chemical engineering. She dropped out so she could redefine the modeling industry. She is still hot, too. I totally want to talk about the role of mitochondrial adenosine triphosphate during the Krebs Cycle.

]]> Would You Fuck It. This is an actual phenomenon. It exists because men are predators, sex predators. No one should take it personally. The skinniest, shyest, most "sensitive" guy and the meanest, ugliest, most aggressively heterosexual guy (like me) does the exact same thing when they see a girl for the first time. We see an ass or a set of cans and it is like a light switch. There is no middle ground. Granted, after time a person we get to know may change in our consideration. An average looking broad with a sense of humor, good personality, or the ability to make a backhand grab and strong throw to first will become more attractive in our estimation. A nice looking girl with long legs and big tits may look like a pile of steaming shit if it turns out she is a bitch. Regardless, at first contact, we are all the same.
In a class today, there was a discussion about how the President's wives have developed into the office of the First Lady, why, and what about it. The predominating feature of the office is that First Ladies are almost exclusively evaluated by their fashion sense. It is true and unfortunate. The why and wherefores are debatable and people had many opinions. Regardless of whether or not she had issues to platform or was old or young, First Ladies are evaluated by their wardrobe. One of the many reasons why is because, on instinct, people want to know what a man sees in the woman. If she dresses well, the answer is obvious, he answered "Yes" to the question of "Would you fuck it?". If people think he answered "yes" because she dresses well then they have a certain level of understanding and they won't get hung up on the "why?". Ergo, if a First Lady dresses well then people aren't made uneasy by the dynamics of their relationship. If a First Lady is old but still dresses well, people think, "Well, she might have been alright when she was younger." If a First Lady is not that much of a looker but she dresses well, people think, "Well, she isn't much to look at but she keeps herself put together and maybe he knows something I don't." This is why fashion is such a big deal in the world. When men ask themselves the question, if a woman can dress she can get a more favorable answer than she would otherwise. It is about first impressions, and men always think of ass first. This is simple logic, and whether you like it or not, IT IS A FACT.
I offered this up to the class, of which I am the oldest person by about 9 years. Of course, the men chuckled, but because it was funny but because they knew it was true. Most of the chicks did not like to hear it, and offered me ugly looks or gasps of reproach or short statements of mock offense. They did not, however, offer up reasonable contestation. Why? Because they knew it was true. Look, a lot of people don't like me and a lot of people don't want to listen to what I have to say about things. Fuck em. The reality is that I, in a very careful series of choices and mistakes, have gathered a reasonable volume of experience. Due to the weight of my personality and a reasoned belief in my observational skill I am willing to communicate the veritas that I have seen. I have a fairly good completion percentage and just because you don't want to hear it does not make something wrong. Men and women in a relationship are in a sexual relationship. Men are predators. Men who are not aggressively male are male nonetheless and will attempt to acquire females through subversion or trickery. Women say, "he is really nice and sweetand he is sooo sensitive." Yeah yeah, he might be those things but he is just being those things on the off chance you might let him do something uncomfortable to your body. Regardless, people might not have liked to hear what I said or the way I said it, but no one was waiting in the hallway to give me a piece of their mind because I was right enough that they didn't care to oppose it. Women that think they aren't chicks make me laugh and shake my head. Who or what do you think you are?

Something else I like to hate is sports media like ESPN and SI.com. These companies have enormous resources and personnel and yet they just serve up shit time after time. They want to report on things that aren't the sport. The recent Sammy Sosa shit is a great example. Just crap no one wants to talk about. ESPN could give Ron Jaws a daily show where he sits down with game film and shows people how to watch football intelligently. He could have guests on, players and coaches, and ask about their mindset and decision making over the course of games and it could be really interesting for fans. They could show day baseball games. If they could not get rights for those they could show other sports that aren't commonly televised like soccer, volleyball, or a host of other Olympic sports. Instead, they play SportCenter for three consecutive hours, an hour of poker, and another three hours of the same SportsCenter. Their internet affiliates are the same. I read an interview with Darren McFadden, Raider tailback, on SI. For brevity, I will insert the text.

SI:What's the gadget you can't live without when you travel?

Darren McFadden:I?m probably one of the few people who only takes the things that you need for an overnight trip; maybe an iPod.

SI:What's one thing you'd change about hotels?

Darren McFadden:I feel like the team takes pretty good care of us when it comes to picking a nice hotel and having what we need.

SI:What's one tip you can share with people who travel a lot?

Darren McFadden:Always double check your bag before you go, make sure you?ve got everything you need.

SI:Do you care where on a plane you sit?

Darren McFadden:I don?t usually care, but if it?s a long flight, I wouldn?t mind a row all to myself.

SI:What's your favorite city to visit?

Darren McFadden:I don?t have one -- we don?t get to see too much of a city on road trips.

SI:What's your least-favorite city to visit?

Darren McFadden:I don?t really have a least-favorite city.

SI:What's your least-favorite sports venue to visit as a fan or player?

Darren McFadden:I don?t have one. As a player, I feel blessed to be playing in any arena.

SI:What's your favorite place to eat on the road?

Darren McFadden:It depends on where we are. A lot of cities aren?t known for their food, but if I can find good Southern food, then I?m happy.

SI:What's your craziest/best travel story?

Darren McFadden:I can?t think of anything crazy that?s happened.

SI:Which city has the most passive fans?

Darren McFadden:Everywhere I?ve gone has been loud so far.

SI:Which city has the best-looking women?

Darren McFadden:It?s a toss-up between Tampa and Miami

I understand what the impetus for this interview was. It was a fishing trip. They just wanted a little McFadden content for the California market and this was a cheap and easy way to get it. He says ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. He expounds on nothing. There is absolutely nothing in this and yet they published it. Sure, it is just one more piece of content to cram into an otherwise overcrowded, fluffed up website, but I think this is bad enough that it does more to support my argument than help any of their desires. This piece just sucked.

2 Biggest questions for the Colts

2009-06-16T00:16:32Z

Heading into training camp, the two biggest questions facing the Colts are not the questions most media outlets are throwing at you. Time for some truthification.

Myth #1: The Colts have to find a receiver amongst their children. I see "analysts" talk about how the Colts have to find someone to play outside receiver and how they have lost so much with Harrison out. This is not true. Any person who watched the Colts play last season knows that Marvin was a very small portion of the offense. He had numbers nearly identical to Gonzalez who only played part time. In reality, the Colts already have their receiving corps and it is none of the new guys. Gonzo and Wayne are split out and Dallas Clark is our slot receiver. Gijon Robinson is our tight end. I am willing to wager that the percentage of downs played by Roy Hall, Pierre Garcon, and Austin Collie will add up to less than 25%.

Myth #2: The coaching changes will derail the Colts. The Colts staff from the Dungy era is out. That is a special teams coach, a defensive coordinator, and about four lesser assistants. In addition, the only offensive coordinator and offensive line coach Manning has ever known in the NFL are gone. This is all supposed to be catastrophic. Not so fast, my friend. In reality, I think the staff has upgraded at the defensive coordinator spot to the benefit of all. This young group needs a firey guy, and the old guy (Ron Meeks) was not it. Meeks has moved on to Carolina, where he will have more control than he did under Dungy. Coyer gets to come to a team with more continuity and a history of backing its coaches. Sure, Shanahan had vast support in Denver, but that was being undermined over the last three years and with the new management the party was over. Coyer will get three good years to make an impression so he doesn't have to sweat early failures. Mudd will be moved into his consultant's role and will probably do mroe grooming than coaching. Moore may get moved to the box, but five will get you ten that his voice is one of those in Peyton's ear on Sunday. Have you ever noticed how Baltimore is able to go after character risky free agents, whether they get them or not? It is because they have confidence in the limitless leadership of Ray Lewis to straighten them out. The Colts have confidence in the limitless mastery of Manning over his position. Manning runs the show, the staff tweeks buttons. Things will be alright.

Reality is inside.

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Reality #2: The problem with the defense will not be the defensive line. I think the Colts have done a fantastic job bringing onboard defensive tackles who can make an impact. Moala and Taylor were great picks, and both could start or contribute heavily as rooks.

Look at this

Here you see the impetus for this pick. If one defensive tackle anchors his spot by grabbing the guy in front of him and pushing him back as hard as he can, the other guy should attempt to shoot his gap assignment. Hopefully one of them draws a double team and the other beats his man at his job. In this scheme, Moala is shooting a gap nearly every time, and look at how good he is against decent talent at Notre Dame and good talent at Cal. He is a monster at the point of attack. Watch how quickly he gets his hands into the offensive guard and how quickly he leverages the guy up. That is football at its most distilled. Once up, Moala has many options. He can hook his arm under and leverage around (which appears to be his best move). He can bull rush and he can swim over with great effect. All of this is defined by his explosion out of his stance and his excellent hand work. Moala is no Warren Sapp. He does not have Sapps indefatigable quality, his pinpoint technique or his overall motor, but Moala can certainly be a significant, Cover 2 defensive tackle in one on one situations. The key will be getting those for him.

With the addition of Ed Johnson, back from his marijuana hiatus, we have three big tackles ready to make plays on first and second down. Couple that with returning players like Eric Foster and Keyunta Dawson and we have a plethora of third down combinations to put pressure ont eh pocket. The Problem with the defense will be lingering injury questions with Marlin Jackson if he does not come out of the gate like a gangbuster and only stopgap measures at Linebacker. Gary Brackett is aging and coming off an injury that was quietly very important late in the season and the inability of Freddie Keiaho to produce last season. Keiaho was great as a first year starter but tapered off. Clint Sessions was great as a first year starter last seasona nd hopefully he will remain strong. The trick will be finding out whether Keiaho improves or if Wheeler or Hagler can take the job. There is no quick fix here, and fans will just have to wait and see. I think training camp may tell us who wants it more but the preseason will show us who has the ability to start. The Colts need to focus the scouts on middle and weakside linebackers. Look, I love Gary Brackett, and he can play mike for me any day, but we have to open our eyes ot the need for improvement and depth here. Now is a good time to think about mike linebackers in the draft because the premium is on outside guys, and high caliber inside guys can be found later in the first round because of it. With that in mind, for your consideration, I give you Brandon Spikes

Cobra Crackdown - I Made A Little Girl Cry and Blogger vs. Ibanez Stuff

2009-06-11T12:35:36Z

(Still open to suggestions on the title of this weekly endeavor. I guess maybe these will be on Thursday's now?)

Well, it finally happened yesterday....I got to the end of my rope and I couldn't hang on any longer. I made a little girl cry in my neighborhood. Here's the thing, I love kids. I think they can infuse energy into just about anyone. If you don't believe that, look at the faces of grandparents when their grandchildren enter the room. When I was in college I worked as a Summer day camp counselor for two years and also for one Winter as afternoon help. I loved being around the kids and it was the best job I've ever had. Let me say that again, it was the best job I've ever had. Not because of the awesome field trips, not because of my hot female co-workers, not because I was essentially making money while getting a tan. Ok, maybe those were all good reasons but it was mostly because of the kids.

What made me go off the deep end yesterday to the point of making a little girl cry.....as always, keep reading to find out about that and various sports stuff.

]]> Yesterday evening TLD and I were coming home from the tasting for our wedding, which was awesome, and as soon as we turn into our cul-de-sac the little kids scattered like cockroaches when the lights turn on. This really isn't out of the ordinary as they fear all grown-ups but they had no idea about the wrath that was about to unfold as I saw rocks from around my trees thrown all over our sidewalk and in the street in front of our home. This, I could take no more.

Last Summer, TLD and I spent about seven hours one day fixing up our yard after it had become tattered after the previous homeowners moved out. I hate yardwork but I hate it even more when my yard looks bad. Commence beatdown.

A little over a month ago I looked out the front window of my house and saw this same group of kids throwing our rocks all over the street and hanging on our trees like a band of monkeys while breaking branch after branch. I was pissed but instead of rushing out there to yell at them I decided to wait a day and then take a roundabout approach to letting them know this was unacceptable. This was my first mistake. I knew they had done it and I should have called them out on it but instead I played dumb and told them that if they knew who messed up the rocks; to please tell them to stop doing that. The kids put the rocks back and, even though they asked me for a dollar for their troubles, things seemed fine. I slept just fine that night.

Yesterday though, I could take no more. As soon as we pulled into our garage I hopped out of the car like one of the Duke boys and yelled, "Jenny!!!" (not her real name) I didn't know who's name that was but I knew that I had heard the kids screaming it all Spring. I figured she was either the ring leader or, at the very least, the girl who would convey the message to the other kids. This little girl walks over and I proceed to ask her if she knew who had messed up the rocks. She said she didn't. I didn't accept that answer. I then explained to her in an adult voice, but without using profanities, that I knew who had made a mess in my front yard, how that was the second time that happened and how there wouldn't be a third time. I could see the tears begin to make an appearance. I continued to explain to her how this was unacceptable behavior and it would not be tolerated. A single tear ran down her cheek. I then explained to her how we all lived in this neighborhood and why it was important to keep it looking clean. The waterworks began. I then asked her again if she knew who threw the rocks into the road.....She then accepted blame for what she, and her friends, did. I stood there like a chain gang boss watching as the group of kids cleaned up the rocks and sticks in my yard and in the street. I felt vindicated. I was certain that parents would show up at my front door last night to discuss the situation but no one did. Chalk one up for Cobra......and humanity. It starts with throwing rocks in the street and ends with throwing rocks at cars/houses/elderely people.

Onto the sports world!

- Blogger vs. Raul Ibanez - For those who don't want to follow the links here is a brief rundown. A blogger has Raul Ibanez in his fantasy league and one of his rivals made a remark that Ibanez needs to be tested for PED's, which is standard rapport in a fantasy league. Since the dude runs a website he decided to do some investigative journalism of his own and found that there didn't seem to be any ballpark/pitcher/etc. factors that would lead to Ibanez having such a year that is a statistical outlier of his previous years. Thus, he was left to wonder, not to state, if Ibanez was using PED's. This post caught on fire and made its way to Ibanez who absolutely refuted everything the guy wrote and he volunteered to submit to any/all testing available. In my opinion, this is what good sportswriters USED to do and this is what good bloggers do now. They see something that doesn't make sense, they investigate it and come to their own conclusion. Period. End of sentence. 'Real sportswriters' should be ashamed that they didn't do this ten years ago and 'real bloggers' should realize that this is how work should be done. Here is the original post and a follow up by Joe Posnaski of CNNSI.com.

This is the era that we are in now with baseball and baseball has no one to blame but itself. The players are using and, depending on what your opinion is, the owners/managers/etc. are the people that have let them use or rewarded them for production while using. They need to realize that they will be criticized and scrutinized whenever something seems out of the ordinary. It comes with the territory. Every player is now guilty by association. What does Paine say about the Government fearing the people? That works here, too.

Now, whether Ibanez is using or not....no one knows. If he's willing to take the tests, then let's get him in the doctor's office ASAP and set a precedent. We've had athletes say they are willing to take these tests in the past but they have yet to do so. I say step up or shut up to Ibanez because I'm certain this won't be the last time this happens.

******I also must note that Brian from Depressed Fan ran a series on players who possibly used PED's in the past few seasons based on their statistics. I didn't agree with all of them but it was interesting. I'm too lazy to find the exact link to all of his hard work but maybe if he shows up in the comments section he'll give us the links. Boom! Just like clockwork, Brian comes through with the links (Part 1 and Part 2). If you look at his list in Part 1 it's a "who's who's" list of accused steroid users minus D-Lee, Jeter and Chipper Jones.

- Crosstown Rivalry - By the time I get around to writing my next Crackdown the White Sox will have invaded Wrigley and allowed the Cubs to win at least two out of three. Baseball in Chicago isn't good this Summer so we'll take all the wins we can get. I was reminded yesterday that it took God less time to make the Earth than it took Sox uber-prospect Gordon Beckham to get his first major league hit. Both parties received standing ovations for their accomplishments.

- NBA Draft - Rubio to the Knicks? Mike Davis out as the Cleveland coach? Will the Bulls re-sign Ben Gordon? You guys don't care, I've looked at the site statistics and they scream 'no basketball, please!"

- NFL OTA's - Soon enough the NFL will be a year round sport.....if it's not already. For fans, especially non-rabid one's, I think the OTA's are a waste of time but they can be beneficial to players learning new systems. Come watch me during my first day at a new job and tell me if that's exciting. It is not.

- Boxing - I need a heavyweight contender that's going to force me to put down my fork while eating dinner. I need him to be from the United States and I need him to knock people out cold. Am I asking for too much? I don't get into the MMA stuff at all so don't recommend that I watch that.

- Cleat Searching - Bruce Paine is looking for new softball cleats, will someone help him out, please?

- Cobra Brigade Stock - Remember that stock that we bought like 18 months ago?? Well, it's up about 145% and we're taking that money straight to the roulette table at the local casino. Smart fiscal strategy? No. Is that going to be a post in itself? You're damn right it will be. I might even live blog it.

- Jordi Scrubbings - Two things I found out this week after a Facebook friend add that blew my mind....Jordi Scrubbings is not his real name and that he's actually a white dude.

Enjoy your weekend, get out and enjoy the weather. Go ride a bike or fly a kite, I don't care as long as you aren't messing up my yard.

Does anyone have a pair of cleats NOT made in China.

2009-06-10T01:48:39Z

I have an old pair of cleats I have been using for quite a while now, and they are falling apart. I need a new pair so I dug into my clothing budget and decided I could spend roughly $70 on a new pair of cleats. I went to four stores today, and what do you know, not a single pair of cleats from any of the five available shoe manufacturers were made in a country that isn't China. Nike, Reebok, Adidas, Under Armor, and Easton only had shoes made in China in EVERY price range, not just my own. I was shocked. I couldn't even find any love for the Cambodias, Viet Nams, Thailands or Indonesias of the world. I am not necessarily anti-Chinese, but I am pro America, and there is a vested interest in dealing with trade partners that are not China and pay closer attention to our trade and labor interests. As such, I attempt to spend my money on things I NEED, not things I WANT, and I try to avoid spending money on Chinese goods or going to big box sweatshops like WalMart. That said, after about 90 minutes of internet research, I cannot find a single company that can offer me a viable solution.

Why remember D-Day?

2009-06-06T15:01:02Z

On June 5th, 1944, my great-uncle Jim, known to everyone in the community as Uncle Jim, was eating all the ice cream he could eat on a dock in England. It had happened only once before in his entire life that he had been allowed to eat all the ice cream he could. He had been 6, and he was too sick to attend a church social he had been looking forward to. His mother made him ice cream. This was his only thought on that night, and he knew, from that alone, that he would die the next day on a French beach.

We don't always do a good job of telling the truth about history. Sometimes the realities we create at one moment in time are not always as palatable in another moment. Because of that, we make legends out of one person's actions for perhaps the wrong reasons and we gloss over or ignore the more definitive factors. Inside I will discuss it more.

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First, FDR was not that effective in ending the Great Depression. A lot of folks will debate this, with good arguments on both sides, and many folks from that generation are unwilling to question FDR, but the end reality is that the New Deal was not that effective in ending the Great Depression and may have prolonged it. The New Deal came into effect near the end of the GD, with a variety of plans being proposed from 1933 through 1936. The broad idea of the New Deal was that big business had too much power, and that protecting labor elements and increasing government regulation of business through price control and corporate taxation would create a more balanced relationship between business and labor. The end result would be a reduced division of wealth between the rich and poor and a an expansion of the middle class. By 1950, the United States had recovered and grown by unprecedented size with unprecedented speed but the New Deal had very little to do with it. If FDR is to be commended for his actions during the Great Depression, then the acclaim is won by his ability to make people feel better, to make people proud of themselves again, and to manipulate the government bureaucracy.

The United States economy did stabilize in 1937 and 38, but there are very few indicators that can clearly establish that the New Deal policies had much to do with it, and just as many that show the New Deal may have prolonged the Great Depression by several years. There are many indicators that will support the idea that the New Deal increased and cemented the division of wealth in the country. There are also many economists that support that the government intervention and price controlling prevented the U.S. economy from taking advantage of improving global trends as early as 1934-35.

So, why did the U.S. economy start to improve in 1937? The answer is World War II. By 1937 the economies of Europe can see conflict coming. When Chamberlain took over in Britain, his policy was highlighted by appeasement of Hitler's policies in eastern Europe and a buildup of the British military. With these things in sight, the relatively weak situation of the dollar made the U.S. and attractive place for wealthy Europeans to invest their money and that meant a vast influx of gold to the U.S. (studying gold movements as economic indicators is fascinating and almost unerringly accurate). In influx of money and the resource situation of the U.S. certainly stabilized the American economy. The real turning point between stabilization and improvement was Munich in 38. Hitler was aggressive towards the Sudetenland, the mountainous, western region of Czechoslovakia. This comprised most of Czech industrial base, nearly a million people, and the only terrain boundary between Hitler and southeastern Europe. The Brits and French met in Munich to negotiate with Hitler and the Italians over the fate of the Sudetenland. Chamberlain failed miserably. He agreed to let Hitler have the territory if he made no further aggressive moves and allowed international negotiating bodies to determine the situation of other disputed territories. Chamberlain essentially told the Czechs they were on their own and went back to Britain proclaiming "peace in our time". The next year, Chamberlain told the Poles that the Brits would back them against Germany, Germany invaded in September and that was that.

The ultimate reality of the Great Depression, and in many ways the New Deal, is that the United States economy was saved by the outbreak of World War II. The only allied country with the resources, work ethic, and determination to mobilize half the planet into a modern, mechanized, multi-front war was the United States. Ford, General Motors, and the American farmer won World War II and pulled the nation out of depression, there can be no doubt. D-Day would be the start of the test. Were the tactics sound? Were the men and material up to the task? Essentially, what was our nation made of?

The success of D-Day represents the turning point in American history from that of isolationist independence to world power. No, the war was not over, but it was both figuratively and literally the American arrival in Europe. The goal of D-Day was to cut off and defend the Cotentin Peninsula while allied forces (VII Corps) moved against Cherbourgh to capture the port. With the port in possession the allies would be able to land massed armor and, with air superiority, get into open field running to Paris and beyond. The rest is, as they say, history.

America rebuilt the world after the war, and the vast wealth and comfort of our daily lives are owed to the success of D-Day. It is owed, in its entirety, to the women who built the machines on the homefront and the men who, with their friends dead and dying around them, formed ad hoc units to scale the cliffs and assault German positions along the great Atlantic Wall and fell from the skies to carry death and dismay to the enemy.

It is, frankly, insufficient to say "Thank You" to the veterans of that generation and of that great and terrible day. Regardless, that is exactly what each and every one of us must do. We owe, in every way, our lives to these people. We owe them our most sincere gratitude. The other day I saw an 19 year-old kid pretend to take notes on his laptop in class while he was actually playing Tetris. I thought, looking at this kid piss away a Hell of a good learning opportunity, we all take a lot for granted. I was not always the student I am today. I have pissed away a lot of good opportunities. We are all lucky we didn't have to grow up as fast as those guys on Omaha did.

The Cobra Crackdown

2009-06-05T13:22:30Z

(I don't know, still working on the title. I'm willing to take advice.)

So, here is what we'll do.....every Friday I'll try to throw together a post about something newsworthy that is happening or is going to happen in the world of sports. I'll give you a paragraph or two about that and then I'm going to try to give you some quick hitters, or, things to watch out for. We'll see how it goes. I'm like water baby, I adapt to my environment.

]]> NBA Finals - Orlando vs. LA Lakers --- Well, we've seen Game 1 already (LA in a blowout) so we know that the Magic have a lot of work to do. The best solution to their problems is on the defensive end. Right now they are letting the Lakers start up their Triangle offense 'too deep' in the half-court. The higher, or further away from the basket, you make the Lakers initiate their offense, the tougher it's going to be to score. This may seem like common sense but for some reason this tactic is extremely effective against the Triangle, moreso than against other offensive sets. The Magic need to have their guards pressure the weak point guards for LA which will force the entire offense to move out on the perimeter and render it useless.

On top of that, the perimeter players for the Magic have to step up and hit some big shots so that the Lakers can't just drop down on Dwight Howard. The Lakers had some interesting defensive movement last night but I'm going to watch at least another game to analyze it before making any bold statements.

The Cubs - Good Lord, where do we go from here? Geovony Soto has been benched and the Boardgame (Milton Bradley) is out, too. Can we just trade Rich Harden now and start preparing for next season?

Gordon Beckham - I'm going to wait a few weeks before picking him up for my fantasy team. The dude is an athlete, I'll give him that. I don't see why the Sox don't move Alexie Ramirez to center field and let Beckham play short but I really don't follow the team that much. My initial reaction is that he's going to be susceptible to the inside heat and breaking balls away but most rookies are the same way.

NBA Draft - The draft is coming up and Arin It Out is putting together a pretty good rundown of the needs for the teams in the lottery. I've been contributing over there in the comments section so I encourage you to do the same.

Pitchmen - I hate informercials and I'm extremely tired of hearing Billy Mays scream on tv but The Discovery Channel has put together a rather interesting series involving Mays and his business partner, Andrew Sullivan. You still get to hear Mays scream at the tv but you also get to meet the inventors behind the products you see on tv, some of which have amazing stories. This show is on Wednesday nights at 10/9 CST so with LOST done for the year good TV is hard to find.

Man vs Food - I generally catch the re-runs of this on the Travel Channel during the weekend but it's basically a show about a chunky guy who goes to restaurants all over the US and tries to break eating records. I've seen him attempt to eat hamburgers the size of Jupiter, curry hotter than the Sun and burritos bigger than Andre the Giant's head. I just looked it up and this show is on at the same time as 'Pitchmen' (10/9CST) so that's why I normally miss it.

Neighborhood Children - I swear to God that if I ever catch the kid(s) who is taking the rocks from around my trees and throwing them into the street......I'm guessing it's the same kid(s) who is throwing Capri Sun wrappers in my backyard. Fucking ragamuffins. I understand your parents are getting divorced but that doesn't mean you need to make my life more difficult.

Ok, get out there and enjoy your weekend. Feel free to throw your recommendations in the comments.