Cobra Brigade

Balls

2010-03-28T04:13:20Z

The Purdue Boilermakers were just dismissed from the NCAA basketball tournament. This marks the end of the basketball career of Chris Kramer, an Indiana boy from Huntington that was widely regarded as the best perimeter defender in the country. His heroics in the tournament were well documented, so I won't get into them. I will say that I appreciate what Chris Kramer is.

Most people love Kramer until their team is playing him. There isn't a coach in the country that wouldn't want a Chris Kramer on his squad. Only fans that can't objectively evaluate their opponents fail to appreciate Kramer. To them, he is a "dirty" player. That is a weird term. Often, a player is "dirty" when he does things for his team that nobody for your team is willing to do. Those things would be play tough defense, dive for loose balls, work hard for steals and hustle into the passing lanes.

Kramer was never a star, not in any conventional sense. No, he was some sort of animalistic novelty. He was something driven by urges, desperate, burning urges of the same kind that makes the nostrils of predators flare with rhythmic repetition. He was All-State in three sports (basketball, football and baseball) and most observers believed that basketball was his worst sport and yet it is the one he chose to craft. Whatever drives his play style must certainly be hidden in that decision. There is some sensation on the court that he absolutely HAS to feel.

In the end, his efforts on the court could only take his team so far. Not an offensive player by any means, Duke was able to take him out of the game on the defensive end by simply not involving his man in the offense regardless of the player he guarded. Purdue, being a small tea without Robbie Hummel, was simply too small to deal with Coach K's well chosen pick and roll game in the second half. He was having a hard time breaking though Purdue's team defense so he limted their ability to play it by compartmentalizing the game, playing something of a two man game. It was a smart move and one that Purdue coach Matt Painter simply lacked the personnel to deal with.

When things were going bad for IU basketball at the end of the Kelvin Sampson debacle Jack Cobra and I had several conversations. During one I commented that the real shame for me had been ebing forced to watch a Player like D.J. White, who had worked and competed so hard for IU, being given a backseat to the Eric Gordon show. I really liked White, and thought he was the kind of player who had struggled through injuries and still persevered. He had played different roles and been everything we could ask for. Many times during the Eric Gordon show, though, he was relegated to a spectator. At the time, Purdue's young team was just starting to emerge and Jack commented that fans and coaches had choices to make, they could try to build teams from scratch and, at best, develop Elite 8 level programs. Or they could play the games involving with seeking Gordon-level talent and run the risks involved with it. If they wanted to with Final Fours, they would have to play that game on some level. It was his argument, and much of it was in the guise of Devil's Advocate, that teams could not be built from scratch and role players like the '76 IU and still dominate. They had to have this elite talent and they had to run the risks involved with getting it. That said he asked me if I would rather support a team who put a program together the right way and only ever made Elite 8s or if I wanted a team that contended for a championship year after year.

I have never been a good basketball player. There was a time several years ago, before this blog, before I ever met Jack Cobra, when I spent ten to fourteen hours a week at the HPER on the campus of Indiana University playing basketball. At this time I was a passable basketball player. The part of the game I loved the best was playing on the ball D. I love to play good defense, really pressure the ball and force bad passes and turnovers. I would then break and make the race to the other end a game of "want to" with the other guy. I loved playing that style. I loved creating frustration and anger. I have truly enjoyed watching Chris Kramer do that to people on such a high level. It was fun the same way watching a little guy kick the crap out of great big guy in a back alley, broken bottle fight is fun. No girls allowed. That kind of game requries balls.

Unbeaten but not Unbeatable

2009-12-21T02:35:07Z

The big news this week was that the Colts remained unbeaten and the Saints did not. The Saints were beaten by a good team, that had some heat built up, and Brees was still almost able to bring them back into. The Saints were alive down to the last few seconds of the game. If they get demoralized and fold, I will be really disappointed because this team has a ton of talent and the world is their oyster as long as they keep at it. They have nothing to be upset about. They got beat by a team that only has one real blemish on their record (the Giants aren't good enough that anyone should lose twice to them) and was looking for a signature win. In reality, Dallas was/is an underachieving team that was getting beaten by better teams and looking for the a win against a better team to get them back into it mentally. The Saints clearly had the target on their backs. Congratulations to Dallas and keep your head up to the Saints. You will get another shot at the Boys I think.

For the Colts, I was having a heart attack. It was clear on the first defensive possession that Caldwell was not going to take the Jags seriously. Powers, our rookie corner who has been our best cover man all year, was being held out. Freeney and Mathis were relegated to short yardage third downs. Their participation was so minimal that beginning in the second quarter i started counting defensive plays and keeping track of how many they were on the field for. I think it was something like one out of 10. In addition, Bullitt was only playing part time. Quite frankly, I think the Colts staff was holding back.

It isn't that I mind resting guys, and I am not entirely convinced of the theory that resting guys prior to the playoffs wrecked some of the recent trips to the post season, but I don't like the idea of holding back while still trying to win. The one remarkable thing is that the Colts, primarily because of the ability of Manning, can actually hold back and still win. I don't want to discredit what the Pats did a couple seasons ago. That was a great run. The thing about their shot was that they possessed so much talent at so many different places. They had an unbelievably gifted offensive line, great receivers, a great QB, a great defensive line, a couple great linebackers and a couple good veteran role players, some good cover corners and some good safeties. It was like a they put together a Madden team. The result of all that talent was clearly obvious. They dominated folks. They drove their heads into the ground. Only really good teams (Colts, Philly, Baltimore, Giants) were able to hang with them at all. I do not mean to downplay their effort, simply to indicate that the run the Colts are on is much different and very interesting in an entirely unique way.

The Colts win close games. They gut games out. They come from behind. Good teams do that. The Colts do it EVERY WEEK. Manning has something like 45 4th quarter comeback victories. Certainly those are not individual wins, particularly in this season when the defense is doing a much better job choking late game picks and sacks out of the opponents, but the mental and emotional toughness they have displayed is, for lack of a better word, special. That sort of ability only comes from a calm and rational belief. If anything, Colts fans must now begin to realize how the brand of discipline and professionalism Tony Dungy instilled on this team has come to fruition. Indeed, Coach Caldwell is the man now, but Tony Dungy trained this team to do what it is doing. In the desperate moments, they don't feel desperation. That is very special. The "Stay calm. Yes, this is bad but it is not insurmountable so keep your head screwed on straight and lets go win it," that he imbued is something we now see every game as our beloved bunch of nobodies keeps it just close enough for stars like Manning and Wayne and Freeney and Mathis to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. Make no mistake about it, this team will not win games without the participation of its premier players. Freeney and Mathis make that defense go. They make it possible for everyone else to do their jobs. One or both of those guys have to be on the field and kicking up dirt for the Colts to win. Mathis may be the biggest star in the league that no one is talking about.

The question, as it has always been this season, is "can they Maintain?" There can be no doubt, this Colts team can beat anyone, but will they? Will they keep it together? Should they try? I know this about the upcoming end ot the regular season.

- The Colts can beat the Jets and the Bills.
- The Jets lack the pass rush to dominate the Colts. They are ranked #1 in a lot of defensive categories, but I do not know if they are tough enough to stop the Colts IF the Colts bring it. If the Colts run on idle like they did against the Jags...
- The Jets have a couple of good corners who can cover but it takes more than corners to stop the Colts, you gotta have backers that can run with Dallas. Do they have that? Gholston has been a disappointment.
- Buffalo is a better team than they look....kinda. They have a pretty tough schedule, and all of their losses except the snoozathon to Cleveland were to good team or teams that came into the game playing well.
- Buffalo will have nothing to lose going into that game. Nothing.
- The Colts are close, real close, to being perfect. The Jets and Bills will not be pushovers, and the weather in Buffalo may be nasty enough that Caldwell could say, "screw this, lets go home". But they can beat both of these teams, and they fucking owe it to me to beat both of these teams and win the Super Bowl. I have had a shitty year, and I am tired of having shitty years. I don't think it would hurt to much for Santa to give this to me. I have never asked him for anything before, and I behaved.....well...decent enough. If they get beat playing hard, that is fine. Die trying, right? But if they coast it in, I don't think I can forgive them with two such beatable teams on the horizon.

Colts v. Jags thoughts. St. Louis Cardinals. Judo.

2009-12-16T20:08:05Z

The Colts travel south to take on the Jags Thursday night in a game that means everything and nothing. The playing time situation is in everyone's mind. I think the Colts will go for the win. If they get up big they will bring the starters out. I would hate to see them bring the starters out if they get down early, though. I think that kind of capitualtion is tantamount to throwing in the towel and would demoralize the squad. Keys to the game look like this.

Can the Colts linebackers move parallel to the line of scrimmage? If they can it means that the DTs are getting, if not penetration into the backfield, enough push to create a static LOS from which the linebackers can fill gaps. If they can it means that the ends are not getting fooled into over rushing the packet and are "setting the edge" or holding the point of attack on the outside. That kind of containment will be critical against MJD.

Will the Jaguars be forced to blitz to create pressure? A team cannot sit back against Peyton all day. Time of possession does not hold meaning with the Colts. You have to attack the Colts offense or you are just going to end up watching it. The Jags' front has not been able to pressure QBs, despite the big draft picks, and if they blitz Peyton to get pressure it will be a deciding factor. The Jags secondary is banged up, and if they can't handle both Garcon and Clark in single coverage (assuming they double Reggie) then the Colts will call up plays with Reggie as the primary, suck the double to him, and then check down to Clark on the crossing route or Garcon in the intermediate middle. Its a pick your poison situation, and the Jags have to choose wisely or they will get cut up.

Can the Jags go deep? The Colts focus on keeping things in front, and in the season opener, Garrard threw for only 122 and the Jags only had two pass plays over 15 yards. As a consequence, the Colts front focused on MJD and he was held to under 100. The Colts front 7 has had a helluva season, and the rookie corners have been really good with Bethea and Bullitt looking out for them. Now, though, Bullit is banged up a bit and so is Jerraud Powers, arguably the Colts' best corner. Will they be able to hold onto the Jags' receivers. Will we see more of Tim Jeennings' laughably underachieving coverage? A big component will be the Colts ability to get pressure off the edges. Our corners tend to play loose, which gives them a good read and some cushion. If the QB has time, the cushion kills you because of the threat of a second move by the receiver after you break on the first (the double move, obviously). Pressure helps but it only ever comes from Freeney or Mathis.

The St. Louis Cardnials should resign Matt Holliday. They have never had anyone else protect Pujols the way he did. He is an adequate fielder and can probably be had cheaply in the current market for outfielders. If you bring Holliday on for three more years I think he adds a lot of breathing room in August and September. I also think there isn't an alternative to his output on the current roster or available at a better price on the FA market.

After successfully completing my belt test in my Judo class yesterday, I got to hear some priceless phrases.

"You have pretty decent balance and flexibility for somebody as old and out of shape as you are."

"That is not the best Tomoe-nage I have ever seen, but it is the best Tomoe-nage I have seen from somebody as old and out of shape as you."

"Its nice to see you throw that Morote Seoi-nage Kodokan style, you don't see a lot of old and out of shape guys doing that."

See the trend?

Colts Remain Perfect. 22 Regular Season Wins Only Means Something to ESPN Because They Can Advertise It

2009-12-14T00:18:38Z

This regular season wins streak thing is just total bullshit. Does anyone else see that? Who cares if you got hat last season and started this one hot? Neither was perfect (yet) and neither ended up in a SB win. Can you really carry a win streak over between two seasons when they are divided by a playoff loss, in particular an embarrassingly one-sided loss? Its nonsense, utter nonsense I say. I am exhausted with sports media inventing unimportant and pedantic stories in a thinly veiled attempt to create false drama. The sport, if it is a good one, carries the drama with it. Crap. Last night, while watching the 5th ranked Purdue basketball team take on Alabama, the horrific announcers spent more time talking about the Heisman than they did the basketball game. The game featured one of the most dramatic, come-from-behind college basketball performances I have seen this year with a Purdue team barely able to answer the bell for the second half only to have their defensive specialist, Chris Kramer, completely take the game over and put Purdue back into it with nothing but guts and aggressive defense. The drama was so clearly and absolutely IN THE GAME, but the announcers were only white noise. Even Hot Tub, who cannot manage to say anything good about Purdue, commented that, "I'm not sure they were watching the game they were commenting on, but they were really excited about Alabama Football." The Heisman presentation itself was so obnoxiously staged and, again, pedantic that it was uncomfortable to watch.

The Colts game was an experiment in obnoxious as well. I will tell you this, the Colts defense has made this season worth watching, and Larry Coyer deserves some kind of bonus or award. He has done a bang up job. The insertion of Antonio Johnson and Dan Muir into the start DTackle spots has been an excellent move. Their ability to get into gaps has done quite a bit in terms of allowing the Colts linebackers to move and flow with plays. This is a pretty darn good run defense right now. Muir makes such good reads on the ball I think I could play Mike behind him. I think the injury to Powers was key because it put Tim Jennings in, and he could not handle Marshall. With Lacey and Hayden and Powers all tweaked in the same game it makes me a bit jumpy. Still, Lacey and Powers have been great additions and both are playing better than anyone's wildest dreams. Here's to their health.

I can't figure out why Manning came apart like he did. Maybe he had turned himself off when the game looked good early and it took him a bit to get back into it. When he did, he was fine, though. Two of the picks were kinda freak plays, and those won't happen all the time. That third one was as bad as we have seen in two or three years, though. Wowza!

Prior to the game my girlfriend asked for keys to the game, and I said that the linebackers needed to be able to move parallel to scrimmage, and they were able to at times. I said the key to the offense would be the ability of the Colt wideouts to break free on underneath routes, taking advantage of the deep safeties and creating separation from the good corners they would face. Garcon did just that on the big play in the first drive, which was a good sign of the Colts understanding what kind of matchups have to be won in a given game. I thought the seam routes would play a more pivotal role than they did, so I was wrong about that.

Looking forward to this Thursday, without really sitting down to think about matchups, I think a few things. Jacksonville has something to play for. If they can clip the Colts and the Pats they can get in to the playoffs. The Colts have their record to play for, and I am not convinced that they don't care about that. The Jags can't rush the passer, despite spending the big picks on Derrick Harvey and Quentin Groves. They will also give up a sack, which is something the Colts can do. I also wonder if the Colts aren't a better road team than the Jags are a home team. The Colts were two points better at home but might be six better on the road. Both QBs remained relatively clean in the opener but I am expecting a little more from the Colts since i think their line has gelled a little since the opener.

Indiana v. Kentucky

2009-12-12T20:45:46Z

Okay, that wasn't the world changing win IU fans were hoping for, but that wasn't the horrific loss it could have been. IU was in it for 23 minutes, and that was about 22 minutes more than some folks thought they would be. The rebounding attrition took its toll at the opening of the second half and KU was able to get their momentum, but I am not disappointed.

10 Paineful Questions with hot for teacher girl on girl action.

2009-12-11T23:12:38Z

For all of you out there with schoolchildren in your life or if you are of the age when you and the better half are about to start cranking out potentials, let me speak for a moment about what kind of relationships you should pay attention to.

I am in the process of getting my teaching license, and I take teaching very seriously because I am faced with all sorts of realities that indicate that the education system is collapsing. I don't want to teach. I fucking hate kids. I feel like I HAVE to teach because I can't accept allowing someone incompetent to be responsible for something so important. What I hate more than kids are ignorant fucking grownups. Ignorant we can fix, but we gotta get at it early

Now, this business in Brooklyn... I have nothing against two young, attractive (or unattractive) females enjoying each other in the blossoming of their femininity. I have seen the internet and it was right, it is hot. That said, male or female, you can't go muff diving at school. You can't tickle the pickle. You can't round second charging for third. You can't fucking take sex to school. Not only that, if you have kids or are getting ready to have kids in school, you need to get to know the teachers, and not just for this kind of shit. If you know of a teacher that is on Facebook with a student, or has traded cell numbers with a student, or has exchanged non-school related email addresses with a student, it is wildly inappropriate. The problem is, it happens all the damn time. Is all of that stuff sexual? No, certainly not. Regardless of that, the relationship of teacher student is monumentally influential and is damn near sacred. Any exploitation of that, or miscommunication within that, runs the risk of being horrifically destructive. Not only should you be aware of that, your child's instructors should and they should have a healthy respect for it. Some teachers will cry, "I mean no harm!" They probably don't, but they are missing the fucking point. For some teachers, the desire to be liked and thought of kindly by their students can be outrageously motivating, but this person has woefully lost their direction. For the teacher, at the most base level, the relationship must be one of instructor to pupil. It can diverge to different places, yes, but it must remain essentially that. If it even brushes the area of "friend" it is broken. The teacher can like a student, they can love their students, but they must remain students or the system will break down and the student will be injured. If you are a friend with a student, and they need to be pushed, will they respond? If I walked into Cobra's house and he said, "Paine, don't pee on that fern," I might just piss on his house plants to aggravate him and he calls me enough of a friend to put me in his wedding. What if the teacher sees that a student needs to be pushed harder or disciplined and they cannot because they fear it may threaten a friendly relationship? In college, fuck it, if you have a hot professor and you think you can take a run at her go get it, we're all grown ups, lay pipe. In elementary, junior high, or high school it is a different place and the relationship of kohi to sempi must always remain intact because the student will always be the one to suffer most. For a teacher, the absolute focus of their professional lives must be the health and welfare of their students and getting the best from every student that they can, anything less is absolutely unacceptable. The teachers I have observed who seek "friendship" with their students have all been miserably incompetent.

To punctuate this with an anecdote I will tell a story. Earlier in the year I was a grad student in an undergraduate class about law and ethics in the classroom at Indiana University. In a class of about 190 kids, the teacher asked if any of the students had known of a romantic relationship between a student and a teacher. Only eight did not raise their hands. If half of those people were telling a lie it is still too fucking many.

Now, onto the sports talk.

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The GM of ArinitOut stops in with this week's questions.

1. All of this talk about perfection, so give me your opinion, who has the best shot at 16-0 this year? Will it be done by either team? Both perhaps?

Colts have the best shot, I think. They are a very tough team mentally. I would ask a serious Colts fan if he/she has ever seen a Colts team that responds the way this one does. I think the Saints are deeper in talent on offense, but their playoffs are going to look scary. Dallas, Vikes, Cardinals....that is going to be the fun playoff race. The AFC is deeper in teams total (in terms of the depth of good teams) but I think attrition is starting to play its part amongst the better AFC teams and that the teams that do get in may not be as strong in January as they were in October. The thing about the Colts is that they have been beat up since before the season began, since the beginning of last season actually, and they are still winning. Not big, but it is tough to win big when you don't have a threat to run and everybody plays you with two deep. The Colts know that, but they still get into these "test of wills" type games where their opponents try to force the Colts into a certain kind of game and it becomes a game of who flinches first, who fails to execute first, and the Colts aren't losing those kinds of games anymore.

2. With Pittsburgh struggling to even get to the playoffs and what seems like a declining Patriots team, is Indy in position to march into the Super Bowl?

Not so fast my friend... Cincy, despite the losses on D-Line, is tough. Miami and the Jags are getting tougher. The Pats can still beat any team. So can the Bolts. The way they have designed their offense gives them a chance against any team. Denver is no pushover. I think Indy is very good, though. I think the fact that Indy has had its chance to slip (like these other perennial power teams) in these close games we are playing, and has not slipped, is something that the armchair fan should look at. This is a PROFESSIONAL football team.

3. Speaking of the Patriots and their down year (for them), has Belicheck lost the players' faith in him?

I wonder if the young players might not be smart enough to see how valuable he is, and that it might dull his mystique. He may prove to be one of these guys who does better with veterans that understand how to play than he does with young guys who are still figuring it out. Chucky is that way. Generalship requires two things that a lot of people confuse as one, tactical ability and strategic ability. I believe he has both but that there are some players on that squad who are not buying into one of those. I, personally, would love to play for a guy like that. Of course, I would have liked to play for a Gene Keady or a Bob Knight and people thought both of those guys were behind the game at the end of their careers. I also think a lot of football players show up to camp expecting a paycheck and blowjob and they aren't mature enough to succeed because they lack the proper mindset. The Pats' woes may be part of the growing process for their young players.

4. Enough of the Patriots, let's talk about me getting paid. My brother bet me $50 that the Colts would lose 3 of their last 7 games. I took the bet and the Colts have rattled off three more wins, leaving only 4 games left. Should I go ahead and collect?

Fuck yeah

5. Curtis Painter looks to be the main QB for the week 17 game against the Bills. Does he put up big numbers or is this going to be as exciting as it sounds...Painter vs Ryan Fitzpatrick?

Don't forget he comes from a pass heavy team. It probably doesn't mean anything, but don't forget that. It will probably be that dramatic, though. Look, I don't question the "rest your guys for the playoffs" plan. I think momentum before the playoffs is overrated and that developing momentum in the playoffs in underrated. For an example, see the KC game in 06. The Colts started their run to the SB in the playoffs. In week 16 of that season they got beat by Houston and David Carr. Ron Dayne ran for over 150 yards. They only beat Miami by a touchdown in week 17. They had very little momentum. They had captured a spot in week 15 by beating the Bengals. The thing they have to do is beat the monkeyfuck out of whomever they play in the divisional round. That is the key that will indicate whether or not they win the SuperBowl. If they play Denver or New England, they have to beat them convincingly.

6. What did young Bruce Paine yearn for under the Christmas tree? What does older Bruce Paine yearn for under the Christmas tree?

G.I. Joes. I loved em. I thought they were the best of the toys. I loved the vehicles too until they started making them less and less like actual vehicles. When my guys would break I would take them apart and repair them with 3/8" o-rings. I even made a G.I. Joe me by taking the legs of a guys who wore jeans and the torso of a guy in a sweatshirt and putting General Hawk's head on it. Toys now suck.

These days I look for stuff related to the sports I play. I like ammo. Truck parts are good. It wouldn't kill the woman to break a piece off now and again. It doesn't take up much time and I am in and out before she knows it. I dig books, classical authors, side by side translations, philosophy. I like political philosophy like Robert Dahl or Max Weber, John Stuart Mills, John Locke, that sort of shit. Nice socks. Anything in Latin that is 2^nd century AD or older I will take. Anything after 2^nd century and my poor Latin can't make up for the language shifts. I like WWII and Revolutionary period history. I like counterculture authors like Richard Brautigan and Thompson. Of the contemporaries I like Coetzee, particularly how he produces characters who feel trapped by their nature against their better judgment. I like Arundhati Roy, at least I liked The God of Small Things and The End of Imagination, but it made me want to shoot myself. I like Neil Gaiman, but saying that now almost feels bandwagon. I like Hemingway but that sounds like I am trying to get chicks when, if they had ever taken the time away from their makeup to read, they would realize that he either hated women or loved them so much he was simply unwilling to love one.

7. Obligatory celebrity female question. I saw a picture of Claire Danes the other day and I think I am in love (lust). Your thoughts?

She really did it for me after she left My So Called Life. I really liked her in Romeo and Juliet. I hated that she had to act opposite DiCaprio at that stage. He ruins that for me. It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a Shakespeare snob. Danes has some skills, though, and that is what I like about women. When I see her, I think, "Wow, what a lovely woman," and then I only see her in crappy movies. Romeo and Juliet and Shopgirl are too far apart.

8. Who is your MVP right now? I am taking Peyton. I know Drew Brees is a Purdue guy, but....

Peyton is still the guy. Any other year it would be Brees easy but look at what Peyton is doing this year. Look at the volume of young guys. Look at the come from behind wins.

9. Speaking of QBs, give me your top 10 in the league at this point of the season.

(For this season)

Manning, Brees, Warner, Favre, Brady, Rivers, Rodgers, Palmer, Young, Schaub, with a you pick em of Romo and Big Ben. Big Ben is the real disappointment. He should be higher on this list and his touchdown and completion totals may warrant it. The reality of the Steeler's situation, though, is that he has taken too many sacks and thrown too many bad balls over the last 8 weeks to keep them in games. That lowers him down for me. If this was just about active QBs and not just this season, though, he would be higher. Rivers could maybe be higher and Kyle Orton might deserve a shot.

10. Looking forward, what areas should the Colts concentrate on in the draft? Since we both know that they won't go with what we think, where will they look in the draft

O-Line, Linebacker, Tailback, Tight End. I would love to see them make a big time selection at guard, or maybe tackle if the guy was just right, but I don't think there is a chance of it. If there is a good power back available, Gerhart being the best option with Anthony Dixon a strong second, I would seriously consider that in the second round. He won't draft a linebacker so I am not holding my breath. I think we are all pleased with Gary Brackett but surely I am not the only person that is starting to question whether or not he can stay healthy at his age. We need another starting linebacker. A corner wouldn't hurt. I would also like to see a tight end either developed or drafted. I would love the Colts to go two tight ends in the middle of the field with Wayne and Garcon.

Indiana gets big win, Kentucky on the way.

2009-12-09T16:21:05Z

Pitt is not what they were last year, but they are a good program from the Big East who was, untril last night, 7-1 with their only loss to a talented Texas team. It may be easy to say that last night's win was the biggest of Crean's tenure, but does it represent a turning point? Is IU now relevant again? Hype says yes, but...

Though Pitt appeared to have better athletes, IU had better basketball players. That was determined by the two different ways the teams reacted to pressure inside the game and the two diffrerent ways the teams shot the ball. I really don't know much about basketball offenses, but IU's weirdo zone offense with the backside floater drifitng into the middle for the mid range stuff was very effective and made for a young team taking shorter shots and building mroe confidence. Pitt was not nearly as cerebral in their approach, and IUs ability to keep pressure on the ball disrupted them severly.

I didn't see it, having gone to the kitchen for the half break, but I hear today that Coach Knight spoke with Digger at the half. It doesn't surprise me. It has never been my estimation that Coach Knight wanted to completely alienate the university, only the people he feels cut him away from it and who did not behave in a manner he deemed appropriate. So it makes sense that, with Coach Davis and Sampson gone with their respective crews out the door, and with Coach Crean's program starting to show signs, Coach Knight would become a bigger part of Indiana basketball again.

Cobra Brigade Angst Update

2009-12-02T02:22:17Z

Uh, miss, if you are a left eye shooter you should consider shooting left handed. Clearly you have made yourself comfortable but you would be more comfortable plinking lefty.

]]> Dog and Pony Show
Reciprocity
Peeps Kid

(One thing that bothers me about the internet is that when I am looking for pictures of chicks with guns, they never know hot to use them. Can one of the shooters out there tell me why this picture is screwed up?)

In additional things that remind me that the country is no longer composed of Americans,
let me offer this. Newspapers and news outlets are not objective sources of information. They aren't. Why? Well, let us think about how news organizations are formed. They are formed as propaganda wings by political parties and interest groups. You can slap on all the make up you want but Petunia is just Porky with pigtails and a skirt. That is why so many newpapers are named "New Bruckerton Democrat" or "The Daily Republican" or "The Union News". So you tread back through the history and find that news outlets are full of shit. This surprises no one. What kills me, what makes me consider religion (and the subsequent losing), is when a new outlet pretends to be objective. In Bloomington, which is an addmittedly liberal town, there is newspaper, The Herald Times, which pretends to be objective. In actuality, it is a fairly liberal newspaper. A new offering on their website is the ability to search a database of sorts. In Indiana it is legal to obtain a permit to carry a concealed handgun. It reguires backrground check, a clean criminal record, adulthood and a variety of other things to get, but it can be had nonetheless. The state of Indiana maintains census data on these permit holders. The HT has decided to create a listing database that allows you to look up any neighborhood in the state and find out how many handgun permits are located in that neighborhood. What offends is not the existence of the database. Indeed, I have nothing to hide. What offends me is how they framed the article in which they announced their database. "Is your neighborhood safe?" Well well, at least we have finally found an indicator on that one. No, they do not have data that shows a relevance between legally obtained concealed carry permits and crime, but they insist that anyone interested can obtain that information from the Justice Department. ( Ironically, there is no significant data showing a relevance and the State Policemen I spoke to have never been given any indication that permit density in a neighborhood has any correlative effect.) What kills me is the open nature of their political condemnation of permit carriers but their insistance on their objectivity. I called a reporter at the paper and asked if they planned to create databases for other legal subsets of citizens. Fear not folks, there aren't. No, though they encourage painting people behaving within the law with a negative brush, they aren't going to provide any databases for other legal groups like Jews, blacks, HIV/AIDS patients, homosexuals or dog owners. I guess we lucked out there. When I posed the question to the state cop he laughed and jested, "I guess they are okay with niggers and fags stabbing people." He is a smart guy, do you see how he placed a negative conotation on something by framing and filtering it with ugly words? Yeah, me too, and what is eaven funnier is that he did it in an intentional way to indicate that he understood what the paper was doing. By framing their database under a guise of neighborhood safety they made it a public health issue, and therefor necessitating their attention. It makes it appear that the HAVE to do this for our own good. They didn't want to present such view, they had too. In addition, this newspaper is only liberal when it is convenient. A few years back when a local business owned by gay men was accosted by a group of protesters from a Kansas church run by a disbarred and corrupt attorney, they declined to cover the story. You know, there is a lot of data corelating race and economic level to gun crimes. Ugly as it is there are more gun crimes amongst black and hispanic males (most of this is generally attributed to the evolution of the crack trade) and the poor. There is no HT database on the way to let me know how many blacks, hispanics or people living under the poverty line in Bloomington. I will digress on this point by wuoting something funny I heard the other day. When querried why he carried a gun, a man said, "Because policemen are too heavy."

As a closing point I will say this. Judo is a very physical sport. It should be started by young people. If you want to play Judo at thirty, start at 20 and train your body how. If you start at 30 it is too fucking late.

Sportstastic.

2009-11-30T04:46:02Z

On Saturday night, Hot Tub, Shortround and I went to the Bloomington South High School basketball game against New Albany. It was a match up of the #1 and #2 teams in Indiana Class 4A basketball and featured 5 division 1 college recruits. Four of those play for Bloomington South! Purdue recruit Donnie Hale is the lone standout in New Albany, and he has real promise in matt Painter's system. He is 6'7", long, and has a great sense of the block. He is advertised as having a big motor, but South kept that from showing. What they could not prevent from showing was excellent shooting touch and good coordination around the bucket. Not only that, but only in Indiana will you find big men that take the time become solid free throw shooters. This game had two, Hale and the 6'8" Erik Fromm of South who has committed to Butler. Though Hale is clearly the superior big man to Fromm, having better feet, hustle, and athletecism, From was far from bad. The game keyed, though, on Xavier bound Junior Darwin "Dee" Davis. Davis is a defensive force, and has the ankle breaking ability you would expect in an undersized D1 recruit. While the big men were able to balance each other out, with Hale perhaps gaining the edge, New Albany had no response to the dribble penetration of Davis and the perimeter play of Matt Carlino, a future IU guard who shows a the ability to play point or wing and shoot the lights out. Though New Albany was game, they were not deep enough for South, and the game degenerated into a Jimmies and Joes session. It was still fun.

After watching the Colts play, fans are going to have to start asking questions about who is responsible for the draft board the Colts are putting together. Why is the run game not working? We are trying it with two different first round draft picks. We spend a lot of time nosing around for dark horses. What is the result? Well, we get very little push. We just get very little push. Tony Ugoh, who cost us a first rounder to move up in the second to draft when there was no indication that he was in danger of dropping off the board, has lolligagged his way out of the rotation. That essentially cost us two picks, the first rounder and the second. A uncharacteristic risk and an obnoxious bust. We may have had a shot at Chris Johnson with that pick. In addition, the investment of picks in Steve Justice and Mike Pollak have resulted in neither being a substantially key player in this season's line up with Justice not making the team and Pollak being a back up behind and UNDRAFTED ROOKIE FREE AGENT! in Kyle DeVan. Clearly, we have done a good job drafting mining for winner like Jerraud Powers, Antoine Bethea, and many more. Still, we have not made a significant draft pick concernning the run game since drafting Edge James in 1999. Polian et al has done a good job at several positions, but from here on out we are going to have to do some more conventional drafting at positions like offensive line, line backer, and maybe running back.

Houston was a good win for us, but only served to show that all Manning needs is one break or one mistake to blow a game open. Sunday, it was phantom pass interference call of Reeves that gave the Colts a chance to turn thigns around. That was all we needed.

The Colts may not be the most dominating defense in the league, but they make plays. Robert Mathis is a play maker and a name taker.

Colts fifth come from behind win of the season. Manning's 40somethingish 4th quarter comeback. Dan Patrick noted on the NBC show that when the Colts went to half and everything looked like it was going to Hell, Dungy was unflapable. If anything, Tony Dungy gave that to the Colts and that is why they are never out of it. That is why it is always within reach. Killers. Calm, cool, collected. Dyed in the wool killers.

Colts v. Pats: Hindsight

2009-11-17T16:40:18Z

The cell phone was abuzz Sunday night as Racha, HT, and the GM were staying in contact during the course of the game. Was it a nail biter? I was way past my nails and three quarters the way up my forearm. I had a few things in mind.

1. When things get stale for New England they go to Kevin Faulk or Wes Welker.

2. More than a minute is enough for Peyton Manning.

3. Tom Brady loves the short out and probably throws it better than anybody.

That is what I thought when the Colts were able to hold the Pats to a field goal after that horrifying interception by Manning late in the 4th. Everybody knows these things. This is what killed the Pats, not the 4th down call.

A lot of people are questioning Beliwhatever, but he wasn't wrong. He wasn't. I have seen the articles about the math of the situation, and I heard Dungy and harrison lambast him on air after the game, but he wasn't wrong. He had Tom Brady, he had a chance to win and all he needed was two yards. If he gives the ball back on the punt, he is giving it to a quarterback who just went 80 yards in a minute and forty seconds and he is giving him the ball back with two plus minutes and the two-minute warning. On the scoring drive before that, manning had run them down the field for a TD in two minutes and four seconds. The Pats just can't give him the ball back in this situation. They can't. Only a fool would, and Bill is no fool. As Old Man Paine said on Sunday night, "He is the best playcalling coach of his generation." In the grand scheme, he may be second only to Bill Walsh, which is like saying he is second to Jesus.

The realities of that game are thus:

1. The Colts won, the Pats didn't throw it away.

2. They won is by scoring 21 points in the 4th quarter.

3. They scored that many points because their QB has 40 4th quarter comebacks in his career. WOW

And here is the one that people don't want to hear.

4. They won because they outplayed Tom Brady.

With the game on the line, and the offense sputtering, Brady called his bread and butter to his go to guys, and the Colts were just too smart for that. On 3rd and 2 Brady went to Welker on the short out and Powers, who is a legit Defensive Rookie of the Year candidate, nearly ended the game. On 4th and 2, he splits out Faulk into the slot. What did everyone in the world think would happen? That's right, he went back to the well. Unfortunately for Tom Brady, reserve safety Melvin Bullitt (who is having a great year for a guy named Melvin) read the play and executed.

It was a tendency situation. The Colts brought pressure on third and didn't pretend like they weren't. They knew they were going to have to get there or Brady would throw over the top. Powers knew Brady's outlet was the quick out. He calculated his risk, he made his play. The pressure was good. They decide to go for it and the same situation presents itself. Having missed with Welker, his favorite guy, he decides to go with Faulk. It was a mistake. Brady made the mistake. He could have gone with Moss on an in route, who is big enough to stretch for the first. He could have gone to the tight end on the out and had a size advantage. He had options. Tom Brady is a good QB, he is a veteran. He has been around the proverbial block and had the goalie pulled. He should know what is up. He decided to go with the bread and butter and forego the element of surprise and got beat for it.

10 Paineful Questions: The GM gets on board to pick up the slack.

2009-11-13T00:59:30Z

Jack couldn't make it for this round of 10 Paineful Questions, so the GM, of Arin it Out, has stepped in to plug the gap in the line.

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1. Big game this weekend with the Colts and Pats. I sometimes gripe about these two playing every year in the regular season. I feel like they should face off in the Playoffs for the shot at the Super Bowl. Am I wrong on this?

Yeah, you are wrong. It is not that the league is intentionally scheduling them against each other, it is that their continued success pits them against one another by the way NFL schedules are laid out. Every three years, a team has to play every other team in their conferences' different divisions. So, in 03, 06, and 09 the Colts play the AFC east of which the Pats are a part. In the interim years (04, 05, 07, and 08), the Colts are scheduled to play the AFC East team that finishes in the same position. Since we keep winning the AFC South, we have to keep playing the winner of the AFC East. It means that the league would have had to predict, nearly a decade ago, the decade long string of success both teams have achieved. The reality is that the league devises scheduling practices like that to create the parity that the NFL so often is praised for. Teams with the most success have the toughest schedules, teams with less success have easier schedules. This does two things the NFL loves. First, it gives dark horse, on the fence teams like the Arizona Cardinals a chance to make playoff runs. Second, it creates TV matchups that the league makes huge bank on. Over the last 6 or 7 years the league has consistently been able to put prime time TV games like Colts-Patriots, Steelers-Baltimore, Baltimore-Colts, and whatnot in front of huge audiences. It makes for some good watchin and puts millions of dollars into the hands of NFL owners. It may seem Machiavellian, but it is just microeconomics. Call it Byzantine if you must, I enjoy it.

2. There has been a lot of talk about the Colts and their usual fast start to the season. What is the key to the late season success for this team?

Adaptability. Three weeks ago they were the best team in football no questions asked. Now, I think they are exposed and fractured. In the course of one week the injury situation went from tolerable to holy shit. The secondary was one of the best in football but, over the last three weeks, we have consistently seen more and more receivers break free on deep routes. We have seen better production from other teams on third down and better tight end play from opposing offenses. Manning has not been sharp. Pass blocking has been eroding from the middle out. One good indication of this is the number of screens we have run in the last two weeks on first and second down. We are, in a fashion very obvious to me, trying to get the defensive linemen to spread out. Austin Collie has not caught the ball well, and that is a problem that will only get worse as things go on because defensive backs and linebackers see that in film and it is a blood in the water type deal. The key is to figure something new out, nothing big, just little adjustments to keep this thing going. I think more four wide would help. At the beginning of the Houston game the Colts came out with a hurry up offense that they actually hurried up. It was clearly scripted and Manning took no time at the line, they just formed up and snapped it. They were moving the ball well. The safeties spread out to take the deep routes and Collie dropped two passes and blew the drive. I think that would work more but they are going to have to get Collie to catch the ball or work Reggie out of the slot.

3. Injuries, injuries, injuries....will the lack of depth finally show this weekend against the Pats?

I addressed a lot of that above, but to get to the material point of the question, yes, the Pats will expose the depth. Moss is coming on like a freight train and facing two rookie, short corners. Let me stick my tongue out and do the math here...mm hmm...and that there...and carry the jump ball...and it looks like trouble with a remainder of oh shit. Yeah, look for Moss in the slot or for the Pats to stack the receivers on one side and trick the Colts into a one deep safety scenario or a weak Cover 3. I would almost guarantee the later. Set Moss on the outside of a stack and run him underneath of a single deep safety on a big crossing route. They did it at Marshall all the time from a three wide with Moss in the slot. Switching it to a weakside stack gives Brady an underneath read on the tight end should the pressure be quick and a deep read on Moss if it gets picked up.

4. Falcons' Head Coach, Mike Smith, was handed a $15,000 fine for his role in the DeAngelo Hall scuffle last Sunday....a fight that was caused because Hall is a too much of a punk. Who is the bigger idiot, Hall or Larry Johnson?

I think Johnson but you can't hold me to it. That guy had a chance to build a team around himself in a city that never forgets its heroes. They still mug Lenny Dawson. You see, Dawson was trying to choose between Ohio State and Purdue in the 50s when both were national powers. Dawson went to Purdue because he had a good relationship with Hank Stram, an assistant there. Hank "Just keep matriculatin' the ball down the field, boys." Stram would go on to be a legendary NFL coach of the Kansas City Chiefs and would create an offense that allowed Dawson to become a Hall of Famer. Dawson had been a bust in Pittsburgh and somewhere else, but he found a home in KC and they still love him.

5. Speaking of Larry Johnson, any chance he suits up the rest of this year? I say no...

I would say Pittsburgh right now but there is always a chance the New England would make a play. He would be an improvement in both locations and could be had for a short term deal.

6. I saw this morning that Peyton has thrown 176 passes the last 4 games. The most of any 4 game stretch in his whole career. Yet, his rating is down and he is missing on a lot of long balls. Is his arm tired?

No, I think there are a few things happening at once that are reducing his effectiveness. The pocket is collapsing faster. Other teams have our line figured out a bit now. They are attacking the A gap on both sides of Saturday and really putting him in bad positions. The right A gap, DeVan/Pollak's side is weak and Sammy Davis Jr. could see it with his glass eye. We can't drive the seam like we used to because of the way teams are rolling their coverage. We don't have the time to shake Garcon loose on the sideline, so the safety stays inside over the top of the seam, forcing Clark to run underneaths. If Collie can catch a freakin ball, Clark can push deep into the seam in a clearout, and Collie can make hay underneath. It wouldn't hurt if we ran a bit better but I don't think that is going to get any better soon. Watch for shoot outs, look for the offense to fatigue. Don't worry about Manning's conditioning, worry about the blocking.

7. Who should I pick for my celebrity girlfriend? I am torn between January Jones and Arianny Celeste. My future celebrity lust is in your hands....GO

Alright, the GM (as he is want to do) throws me a grapefruit to talk about MMA. Arianny Celeste is one of the ring girls for the UFC. While she is, indeed, built like a brick shithouse, I am going to go with January Jones of Mad Men fame. First of all, a man should always appreciate a woman with an exotic first name. I certainly do, and it gives your women a certain...je ne c'est quoi...no wait, I do know what! It is appealing because it has an element of James Bond in it. It makes you feel like you are James Bond because you are banging a broad with a Bondian name, like Pussy Galore or Holly Goodhead or Plenty O'Toole or Wai Lin (get it? She is "wailing"). Both names are interesting, but January wins out. On top of that, she has some talent and I think Arianny Celeste probably spends a little too much time in footwear that can only logically be defined as "stripper boots". I think you are going to get a better experience out of Miss Jones, longer legs, and somebody that will make you breakfast in the morning. I realize Mad Men offers a certain anachronistic flare, and similarly themed discussions have ventured far enough to say that taking a shot at Miss Jones in the Betty Draper situation means that you encounter the much maligned wide bush of the day. I say grow a pair, grab that garter belt and start pumpin. It just means she's a grown up.

8. No winless teams left, so reverse the question. Colts have Patriots and the Saints are at St. Louis. Any chance the Rams stop the Saints? Do the Colts rule at home and go to 9-0?

No and maybe. The Colts are on tilt a bit right now. To beat the Pats they need to be relaxed and smart. If they press, they are going to be in for a rough one. I think the pressure is squarely on the Colts right now. I don't know where the money is right now but it has got to be even or -2.5 to the Colts as the home team. I think that is pretty close.

9. Back to the previous winless team, Tampa Bay, did Josh Freeman do anything to indicate that he will lead that franchise back to mediocrity? Beyond that? Is there any helping that franchise?

I think we have to look pretty hard to see that team getting better. They were playing a young, 4-3 Packers team that had just had an emotional game that resulted in a devastating belt buckle punch amidst a division race. They were drained. Freeman completed less than %50 of his passes for less than 7 yards an attempt. In addition, he was going against a QB that had been sacked like 30 times in the previous game. I think he a step in the right direction if they stick with him and commit to developing him within a single offense.

10. How does Bruce Paine feel about properly celebrating Veterans Day? I picture you drinking a High Life, eating a Hot Dog, listening to "Free Bird", and wearing a robe with the American flag on it...all while readying to polish your rifle....

You would probably be surprised. He mourns for a lot of things. He tries not to think of it as Veterans Day. Historically, we tell soldiers we are going to treat them as heroes when they return from glorious combat but when they do, they often get treated rather poorly in my humble opinion. The measure of courage they have displayed, the measure of honor they deserve, is poorly regarded by the subpar treatment they often receive. Let us not forget, this day used to be called Armistice Day, and it celebrated the end of war. It is here that we should actually remember something. Soldiers should be glorified in their victories and their deaths for the things they try to prevent. Without this particular kind of death, it is difficult to re-affirm their sacrifice, to understand why some conflict is necessary. I think it is important to honor veterans, like yourself, for the destruction they try to stop. I struggle, mightily, with how to view the situations and contexts that we place our soldiers in. As an historian, I have literally spent years on this very topic. I have good friends who have gone to the deserts and mountains of old, distant, Godforsaken places where children are offered up like cattle to take potshots at well armed men. I think a lot of things on Veterans Day. You know, we insert our men into conflicts now that they aren't allowed to win. The USS Cole bombing cost lives simply because the rules of engagement prevented Marines from shooting a rubber boat even though the damned thing had a giant bomb strapped to it. Back in the day, when you beat somebody, you beat em all the way. After the Punic Wars, the Romans took Carthage. They killed all the males and women too old to breed, gave the women to the soldiers as slaves, and poured salt in the fields of Carthage. They bred them out of existence, took everything they had, and laid waste to their fields so nothing would grow. That is winning. Our guys now can't even drink beer or fool around with the women.

The weight of my exasperation is crushing sometimes. I don't want to use Veterans Day as a Good Job America Day, I just want to give my nod of approval to good men who did something I did not. I think a lot about one of my uncles, who did not want to fight in World War II and was drafted as a conscientious objector into the medic corps. Fat lot of luck that did him on D-Day as he was looking out the top of a landing craft on the way in to Omaha Beach. Half the guys in the boat got chopped to pieces by MG 42s and mortars before they ever got to the beach. The Germans had taken big, fist sized chunks of rock and covered the exposed parts of the beach with it, preventing guys from digging in. It took uncle Jim three minutes to run out of morphine and bandages and he was less than 15 feet from the water's edge. He spent the next two hours holding the hands as soldiers died, the boys crying for their mothers and the men crying for their wives as lead and fire rained down on them. Today, we can at least say that they died fighting the Germans, who would have run us to the ground and put us in chains in a thirst for global domination. I want our current soldiers to be able to say the same, but I don't think they honestly can. Instead, on Veterans Day, I weep that I cannot give you that. Indeed, it is not the soldiers who have not met with success, it is the citizenry. We failed you, I failed you. It isn't because some people voted for George Bush and some didn't, it isn't because some support socialized medicine and some don't. It is much older than that. The whys and wherefores are deep and complex, I admit, but they aren't beyond the comprehension of any good American. On Veterans Day, I hope people consider cost. Cost. Our lifestyles, our willingness to consider the trivial matters of our lives as necessity has steered us down a path of great cost. Now, more than ever in our modern history, the way Americans are living is costing us in blood. The blood and treasure we spend is real, it is the lives of our friends and family, and I pray for a swift end to it, an armistice.

The rifle is well polished and oiled after every use. That way, it is always ready to be grasped into the warm defense of freedom. It is always in proper working order so that, when they take me, another patriot may pick it up, place the pumpkin on the post, and squeeze in to the comforting embrace of liberty.

God Save the Republic.

Bruce Paine

November 2009

Cobra Chronicles: Greatest Halftime Speech Ever

2009-11-09T15:27:23Z

We had lost three in a row and now we were playing our rivals, who we were favored to beat. Our previous two games had been absolute heartbreaking losses.....one to a team we should have beaten where I took an ill advised 3-point shot to win the game and missed....the second was our first conference game of the season and we ended up not only losing the game but we also our leading scorer to injury.

We had to win this game. A loss puts us two games down in the conference and kills the ability to recruit in the area for the coaches.

With our leading scorer out of the game I get moved from the wing to a low post position when we are on defense because I have the ability to sustain position and 'bump' with the big guys. No big deal, I'm there to help out.

I recognize the name of the player I'm supposed to guard even before we board the bus. All-State player in high school. All-time leading scorer at this particular college. A beast who has six inches and fifty pounds on me.

I decide that if I can keep him from getting a double-double then we can win the game. It's going to be a long night for both of us.

]]> The game starts off a bit wildly as both teams are trying to set the tone. They are playing up-tempo to try to take advantage of our depth issues. We are settling for perimeter shots because our big guy is out. It's probably not the most beautiful game of basketball to watch but the crowd is bringing their 'A' game tonight and turning up the intensity.

'The Beast' gets a quick six points on me about four minutes into the game and I'm making it too easy on him. He can shoot right over me in the post so I can't let him get that position. I start bumping him all the way down the floor. Literally. Made basket or not, I would run right next to him the entire time he ran down to his offensive end of the court. Once he reached the 3-pt stripe I was chest to chest and it was time to figure out what kind of heart he had. Physically, he could overmatch me but lesser men succumb to pressure and falter when things get difficult. I hoped this would be the case with him....and it was.

The first half continues to go back and forth. We are up a point, they go up two. Coaches are pissed, fans are screaming and since we are only playing with seven players....we are gassed. Halftime can not come soon enough.

I'm the trailer tonight in our Kansas fast break scheme and I hit a three with four seconds left in the first half to put us up one. We're excited to head into half-time. This is a team we should beat by twenty on a normal night but we are facing an uphill battle with our best player out.

Halftime is generally a time to hammer home the pre-game strategy and/or to re-assess defensive assignments. There really wasn't much to do on either front since our best chance to win was to hit from the perimeter and we didn't have enough guys to be switching up who we were guarding. So, walking into the cramped locker room we knew that this was going to be a time to rest and regroup.

One of our assistant coaches was about as vocal as a field mouse. Yes, he'd pull you off to the side and offer a suggestion or two but if his goal was to 'speak softly and carry a big stick', we never saw the big stick and we figured he was just along for the ride. Not tonight though, he was going to earn his paycheck so he took over the halftime speech.

He walks in punching lockers and pretty much just growling. He doesn't even make it to the chalkboard when, as he stands behind us, he yells,

"That team isn't good enough to play in the same area code as you guys!!! They have no right to be out on the same floor as you!!! But right now they are kicking your ass!! They are.....FUCKING YOU IN THE ASS......AND THEY ARE NOT EVEN USING LUBE!!!"

As a player, what do you do when you hear that? I'm the only senior on the team and I wasn't even sure how to take it. The underclassmen weren't sure whether to laugh, giggle or be mad. We sat there stunned for about ten seconds. I knew there wasn't going to be much more to the half-time speech so I stood up, punched a locker and ran back onto the court. Why? I don't know, but the guys followed me and we were ready to go for the second half.

We ended up winning the game by two points (83-81) but that half-time speech scaredthe guys so much that we withstood what should have been a furious onslaught by our opponent as the second half started and turned it into our own eight point lead.

Probably not the most politically correct speech of all time and, really, it had nothing to do with basketball but it got the job done. It certainly gave us something to talk about on the bus ride home that night.

*****'The Beast' ended up with 13 points and 8 rebounds and they retired his number at the end of the season.

10 Paineful Questions: The domestic torment of Jack Cobra and can short hair be sexy on a woman?

2009-11-06T04:07:11Z

Can Jack Cobra ruin his marriage in a single weekend? Can short hair be sexy on a woman that isn't built like a brick shithouse? Have the Buccaneers completely reverted?

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1. A two part question to start out this week....First, how much will the Colts miss Tyjuan Hagler? Second, would Marvelous Marvin Hagler play through a biceps injury? I'm leaning towards yes.

I hate to say it, but not that much. I think everybody is pretty pleased with the way the defense is playing now. They are playing interesting games. They seem to be able to pick out what a team does best and then develop around that. If a team does one thing well, sometimes they let them do it and take everything else away, sometimes they put all their resources into that and take what they do best away. Long story short, some teams have been able to move the ball against them a bit, but few have been able to score many points. Keiaho or Wheeler will move in and make a difference. Maybe they could sign Derrick Brooks cheap. The Colts are first in points allowed, 7^th in pass defence, and middle of the road in stopping the run. Things are not bad right now.

Marvelous would go, but more importantly, he wouldn't have to. Marvin Hagler was a real professional. It kept him healthy his entire career. Despite a level of success that is perhaps the most underrated in boxing history, Hagler always kept his approach to training on a very level, serious line. He was known for being a beast on the roadwork and very cerebral in his tactics. He would do all of his roadwork in army boots instead of jogging shoes and run more than half of it backwards. His fight with Thomas Hearns is perhaps the greatest title fight of all time. It was 8 minutes long and there is not a single lull in the fighting. Hearns actually broke his legendary right hand on the legendary chin of Hagler in the first round. Hagler continued to go inside on the taller Hearns and punish him with body shots despite a serious cut above his left eye covering his face in blood. Sweet Science.

2. With Texans TE Owen Daniels out for the season and WR Andre Johnson hurting on the offensive side of the ball, who should the Colts be worried about on Sunday??

Up until those injuries the Texans were an offense very similar to the Colts statistically. Without those guys, both of which could have (Johnson still might) make/made the Pro Bowl. Matt Schaub is still the problem. He is pretty good at making a read and hangin in to deliver the ball. He is willing to spread things around and, despite Johnson's numbers early, is not married to one receiver. He could still be problematic. He can't be from his back, though.

3. Last week I said that the 49ers reminded me of the Texans and you said the Texans were the better team. So, after the 49ers gave the Colts all they could handle does A+B = C add up to a Colts loss this week?

No, things are different. The Colts and the Texans know each other. The Colts are that hill the Houston franchise is still trying to climb and you can bet the bottom dollar that they have circled the date. Houston is more mature and more developed offensively than the Niners, and I think a person will see that in this weekend's game. The Niners' tilt with the Colts stagnated because Manning was off with the deep ball. If he was a about three feet sharper on passes over 20 yards it would have looked different. Both teams will be sharp Sunday and it may degenerate into a chess match. The last few matches have shown signs of really good games. Still, since Houston lacks league-wide notoriety this will not be a marquee game despite the head-knocker it will be.

4. Over 300 yards passing but 0 passing TD's for Peyton Manning last week. He's going to be out for blood this week so does he throw more than 4 TD's against the Texans?

Yeah, but last week's performance isn't the real issue. The proof in the pudding is shown in two other key Houston games. If you look at their win against Cincy (the Bengals being the most ignored 5-2 team around), you will see that the Bengals went one dimensional in the second half. So Houston only had to defend one element but, Chad Johnson still put up over 100 yards with a safety on top by breaking routes in and running comebacks against the sideline. Sound familiar? Do the Colts have a guy who butters his bread running the intermediate in and the deep comeback? Indeed they do.

Another indicator is the Houston game against the Niners. The Niners threw three TDs to Vernon Davis. Hosuton simply didn't have a linebacker or a safety that could run with him. Do the Colts have a tight end with great speed that can run all the routes on a linebacker or a safety? I think they do. I know he doesn't look it on TV because the camera angles don't show the depth of the field very well, but Dallas Clark is very, very fast for a guy that thick. Yes, fast, and I don't mean white-guy fast, I mean fast.

5. Would you agree that the Texans have the best indoor/outdoor stadium in the NFL with Reliant Stadium?

You know, I spent a bit of time researching this and spoke to a network of architects to nail down a viable answer. In the end, the answer is, "It might very well be." Populus, the company that used to be HOK Sport, the architects for Reliant and the Cardinal's venue, have a habit of getting into the forefront of the stadium world. These new stadiums have a lot of neat things they can claim. From a design standpoint, I am told that Lucas Oil fist its site aesthetic the best, and has visual appeals like the center-peaked gabled roof which is apparently interesting because designing it meant the roof panels would be exceptionally heavy but would provide the largest roof opening in the world. The two large trusses are visually appealing as well but the stadium, over all, does not watch a game as well as it looks. The Cowboy's stadium is ginormous, and the exterior continuations of the arch trusses is nice to look at and drawing positive attention from architecture critics, but it is being billed in those circles as being a bit of a copy of Reliant in terms of the transparent sides and the roof is a copy of the lateral system other stadiums use. Personally I think it is the best looking on the inside but HQ says it is copied off of a couple of soccer pitches in Germany. It is tough to call, though, the architecture business is a trend oriented thing and copying someone else is pretty par for the course. I don't really call that a negative if they are copying something that works well. I also hear that it does not have a positive site aesthetic. People love the visuals of the Cardinal's stadium, and the roll out grass, but they hate the site and the color scheme on the inside. In the end, Reliant stands up favorably. It was the one of the first to have the retractable roof. It uses natural grass. It sees way more use than a lot of stadiums, hosting rodeos, bowl games, soccer and whatnot. Old Man Paine claims it is a great watching stadium having been to a bowl game there. It is also one of the cheaper "new" stadiums in the league. In the end, it was more "original" than the competitors and has a lot going its way. I haven't been to them all, so I can't make any clear claims. The jury is still out on the long term likeability of Lucas Oil and Cowboys Stadium with Lucas Oil being liked but not loved and Cowboys being either loved or hated, so Reliant may be the best one of the bunch.

6. Dallas and New Orleans seem to be having a lot of success playing in an offense that doesn't rely on one WR to make the majority of the catches. Will this even-ish distribution of catches escalate into a situation similar to the two good RB strategy that teams now implement?

I am unwilling to say that it will result in a two back league but it will result in smart offense. If you pass to the guy that is open you will be a better team than you will passing exclusively to the guy that is getting paid the most. It is easy to say that given the recent history in Dallas and the performance of Mike Bell and Pierre Thomas in new Orleans. I think it is EASIER to say that if you invest in the right quarterback you can save yourself a lot of trouble at other positions. If you have a Drew Brees you don't need to find the next Randy Moss or Adrian Peterson. You don't need to waste money on a kick returner like Reggie Bush like NO is now finding out. If the Cowboys or San Diego or Chicago had kept or signed Drew Brees they would have a championship under their belt and the Saints would be in LA.

7. Tampa Bay is the only winless team left and they have Green Bay coming into town this weekend....what are the chances that they break into the win column?

Yeah, I think there is a chance. I realize Harvin is a tough matchup. The Old Man says he is the closest thing to Gail Sayers he has seen in while, Reggie bush included, but I won't go into all that. Still, Green Bay is a top 10 defense. I think they would be a top 5 defense if they went 4-3, but they are still good. Minnesota is the better team, though. Jared Allen is great, AP is amazing, Harvin is unreal. GB should have been better and they weren't, with Chicago improving a bit I think the Pack is on tilt with their only quality win being the opener against the Bears. With the Bears improving, I think the Pack is wilting. The kicker, though, is that I don't think TB has many wins in their future. I am unclear how they are directing this team now that almost all of the Dungy era people and players are gone. I can't see what kind of program they are putting together or what kind of concept they are trying to establish on the field. I think it is entirely plausible for them to completely return to the crappy Bucs of old and soon. They may not win ten games in the next 3 years.

8. Who is the best player in the NFL this season that people aren't talking about?

Easy, Darren Sharper S, New Orleans. At 34 (that is 137 in NFL years) and a 13 year veteran, he leads the league in picks with 7. His pick against Atlanta was a late game prayer job but his pick-6 against Miami changed the game at the top of the second half. With the Saints coming out of the locker room down 24-10 and Miami getting the ball, Shaper picked one off that made it 24-17 Miami and completely put New Orleans back in the game. When the upstart Jets faced off with the Saints, Sharper shut them down with 9 tackles and 2 picks, one a 99 yard to the house. The Saints needed a veteran to lead their defense. They got the right the guy.

9. Who makes worse decisions......Jay Cutler or Brenda Warner's hair stylist circa 2001?

Well shit, Jack, I don't remember anybody pissing and moaning in the 80s when chicks like Brigitte Nielsen or Grace Jones went butch with their hair..........of course, that was the 80s and Brigitte Nielsen and Grace Jones are scary as all get out. Okay, good point. Look, I have always kinda had a thing for Annie Lennox. Something about Dave Stewart makes me want to break his fucking nose, though. And even though I prefer long hair, HQ having a luxurious head of hair, I am not going to throw stones at Brenda Warner for the hair. I think the internet has covered that. They also gave her tons of shit for being religious. That isn't my bag either but I don't want to bandwagon. In the end, the worst of her is a bad hair style and an unnecessary attempt to defend her husband against people who have an unbelievably large bully pulpit. Hell, she hasn't shot him and that is more than I can say for....you know the Bears could always run more.

10. On Sunday I can either go to the Museum of Science & Industry (http://www.msichicago.org/) for free ($26 value counting Wife) or watch the Bears play the Cardinals and then the Chargers vs. Giants. Which will make for a better Sunday?

Arizona doesn't lose on the road. The Chargers and Giants are both disappointments with the G-Men getting knocked around by Philly and the Chargers barely able to beat the Raiders. The Mof SI has all of the model ships and trains, a real U Boat, and an interesting exhibit in green home design that I would like to see. Catch the museum with Goldilocks and DVR the games. Get an early jump on the museum, grab a bite on the town, get home in the late afternoon and climb into some sweatpants and commercial-skipping football. You know what? Now that I think about it. Take the weekend off and watch football. I realize you guys need your "get out and be a married couple" time, but there is no way going over to the museum for a day is not going to cost you some moneys even if the museum is a free day. Save the moneys, get your tender loving wife time on by taking her to a late breakfast and not being a jackass for an hour. I bet that will be well received.

How to Hit a Baseball: The Landing

2009-11-04T22:36:45Z

This photo of Albert Pujols denting the baseball was sent in by friend of the site, Keith. I'm doubting this was a home run by Pujols but it certainly was a ball hit with a lot of force.

So now you've 'coiled and you're ready to 'land' your front foot in the batter's box. There are a million little things that can go wrong when you swing and this is another of those tiny, tiny things that can throw you completely off. It's no surprise that with so many movable parts and so many things that can go wrong during the process of a swing, that they say hitting a baseball is the hardest thing to do in sports.

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When you 'coil', your front foot should have either moved towards your back foot or stayed in place (preferred). Keeping the front foot in place obviously cuts down on moving parts in your swing. So now your starting to move towards the ball to hit it with force and you're wondering where your front foot should land.

When I was little my coaches always told me to try to step in the direction of the second baseman (as a right handed hitter). This isn't great advice but for a younger player it does force them to stay with the pitch and keeps them from bailing out or 'stepping in the bucket'. The common rule though is that your front foot should stay parallel with your back foot and your 'stride' should be anywhere from 3-6 inches. This is going to put you a little bit wider than the 'athletic position' but by this isn't a problem.

As you place your foot on the ground you aren't trying to grind it into the dirt, in fact, it's about the opposite. Some people say to "don't break the ice" or to "step on eggshells" but either way you get the point. Step softly with the tip of your toes initially. This is going to keep your front hip from locking into place which wouldn't allow you turn on an inside pitch, thus causing you to get 'tied up' and lose leverage/power/force/etc.

So, in review, after the coil....short stride, keep the front foot parallel with the back foot and 'step on eggshells'. Leave your comments below or shoot me an email. Next week we'll talk about what your hands should be doing during all of this commotion.

10 Paineful Questions.

2009-10-30T19:55:14Z

I have been getting my ass kicked in Judo this week, so here is a bit of thought. Laetitia Casta brought the idea of the voluptuous model back into vogue in the 90s, and she is an experienced judoka. Yoko shiho gatame anyone? Couldn't agree more ]]> 1. The 49ers have, depending on your viewpoint, surprisingly drafted three or four weapons on offense right now with Frank Gore, Vernon Davis, Alex Smith (?) and Michael Crabtree (?).....is this a team trending upwards for the future or do you see them stuck at the .500 level like the Texans (who the Colts play next week)?

I think they have Frank Gore and Vernon Davis. I think Crabtree is so messed up in his marble box it might be 3 years before he can contribute proportional to the hype. I think Alex Smith lost his jarb. This team has something. They have some players, they seem to be prepared for games psychologically and then fall apart over the course of the game. With Seattle deteriorating before our very eyes and Arizona with a very narrow window of opportunity they have a chance to build but they have to be patient. Pick certain games where you can develop certain concepts and whatnot. The Texans are better that the Niners, though. If the Texans weren't in the AFC South they would be making a bigger splash.

2. The 49ers are 6^th in the NFL against the run. With Reggie Wayne being iffy to play this week do the Colts try to ram the ball down the field or do they let Peyton try his magic with the young receivers (and Dallas Clark)?

No, make the backers chase the receivers on crossing routes, make them sit back in zones. Getting them on their heels will set up the delay runs and the stretch run/playaction option. Beating the Niners will be an exercise in execution, control, and patience. No daring or obnoxious guile needed.

3. The biggest matchup this week has to be the Colts LB's against 49er's TE Vernon Davis, no?

No, it will be the Niners linebackers on Dallas Clark. The Colts linebackers only need to cover Davis in the first 15 yards, the pass rush will take care of the rest. If the Niners push him too deep he will be in the tall grass with Sanders and Bethea. If they beat us that way, God Bless Them, they earned it. If they are trying to spring Davis deep on the seam it's a better bet that the pass rush will eat em up or that Sanders gets to put the big belt buckle on. Davis on the crossing route will be an option all day, but they won't let him squeak by downfield. In the red zone he is a problem, Bethea will just have to saw him in half.

4. Will Lucas Oil Stadium ever provide the Colts with the home field advantage that the Dome used to give them?

No. One thing people don't realize about the ol Dome is that, despite looking shabby, it was a REALLY GOOD place to watch a football game. The seating angles were great, and that really contributed to a good watching time. Yeah, there were metal bleachers in the upper deck, but that also played a part in being an unusually loud stadium. Not only that, but it had an intimate element. If Manning was coming your direction, the place was so quiet (and so small) that you could hear his audibles and cadence. When the other team had the ball, it was unmitigated chaos. People who have never witnessed it simply have no idea what it was like when Freeney or Mathis would drop the QB on third down. It would go from rock concert loud to space shuttle loud in the blink of an eye. Unreal

5. The Colts have been struggling with turning the ball over yet they still manage to win. How many turnovers can they have in this game and still pull out a victory?

Four

6. Brett Favre returns to Lambeau Field this weekend with the Vikings. If he tried to do the Lambeau Leap do you think the fans would reject him?

Maybe. Probably not. If he wanted to make a splash, though, he should try to dunk it like Brees did.

7. Three winless teams remain (Titans, Rams and Bucs) and the Titans and Rams have decent match-ups this week....any chance either of them break into the win column?

The Rams could win in Detroit , Titans could beat the Jags, the Bucs have the week off. I say the Rams win in Detroit .

8. Not taking into account the talent around any of them, would you even rank Jay Cutler in the top half of NFL QB's at this point?

Nope, but I didn't last year and he was in the Pro Bowl.

9. Do New Orleans and Atlanta combine to break the 90 points scored barrier this week?

There is a real good chance. There is also a good chance New Orleans could stomp Atlanta .

10. Is Larry Johnson trying to force his way out of Kansas City or is he just dumb?

When you are talking about Larry Johnson, remember these numbers: 13, 32, 2.5. In 2006, Larry Johnson led a Kansas City team into the opening round of the Playoffs against the Indianapolis Colts. The Colts had a resurgent defense that had spent the years as goats and the post season as monsters. In that playoff game, Johns was held to 32 yards on 13 attempts for an average of 2.5 yards per carry. Johnson had rushed for 1750 yards in 05 and had his biggest year in 06 but on the opening drives of that playoff game the Chiefs consistently went to him on first and second down and the Colts stuffed him for no gain again and again. The Chiefs offense had their chances, Manning threw three picks, but the Colts stuffed Johnson all day and by the end of the first quarter the Chiefs looked defeated on the sidelines. Johnson looked defeated and sat alone on the bench. Hot Tub looked over and said, "He's just not a competitor in this game anymore. We won't be so lucky next week with Tomlinson." He was right about Johnson. He has never been the same since. As luck would have it, the Pats would upset the favored Chargers and set up a Manning v. Brady AFC Championship game for the ages and an eventual Colts Super Bowl. Johnson has done little but get hurt, collect paychecks, and run his bitch-ass mouth ever since. Take a minute to scan the play by play to discover what it is like for a once great back to get dominated.