Coelacanth Diaries

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Sat, 12 May 2012 13:09:00 +0000

The Gigantic Beard That Was Evil - Update

GOOOOOUUURH.

I am very busy!

I know what you're thinking. You're impressed. You're thinking, "That is so amazing. You're busy! Wow, man, I am so excited to read that. I've never met a busy person, let alone one who actually vocalises the fact that they think they are busy. You must be so terribly important and, you know, like, needed by the Universe and stuff. And yet you don't go on about it at all! Well done, Steve. Well done you. Come over here everyone! This guy says he's busy!".

A crowd will gather round, and I'll be like, no, I don't wanna talk about it, and they'll be like no go on, tell us how busy you are and I'll be like well alright just let go of my arms and head and I'll tell you.

OK. So here's what I've been up to. It goes like this:

Scritch Scritch Scritch. Scritch Scritch Scritch Scritch Scritch Scritch Scritch. Scritch Scritch Scritch. Scritch.

That is the sound of a pencil!

At one end of it is me. At the other end is my MASSIVE BOOK. Or at least a page that will subsequently feature in my Massive Book. I say massive, it actually takes about 45 minutes to read (and two years to make, it seems). It's drawn entirely in pencil, on A3 pages, with loads of dark pages and masses of hatching. Hence, it is taking a long time. Here's some early previews - more to follow in coming months:

I had an exciting meeting at Jonathan Cape the other day where we discussed paper stock and cover design and things and now it feels like this thing that I've been draw draw drawing for so long might actually be a tangible thing one day, and might be something I can be quite proud of. This is a nice feeling.

It is due to be published mid-2013 now, though I've got a delivery deadline of October 1st. More stuff to be posted here as I finish it.

What else have I been doing? Hum. Living in the country. Failing to DIY my house. Hanging out with my wife. Popping into London. Drinking lots of coffee. Obsessing over my comics. Looking after some chickens. Drawing stuff for Wired. Jogging round fields. Drawing covers for the Spectator. Updating my website. Going to weddings. Selling some prints. Worrying about my posture. You know - stuff.

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Sat, 03 Mar 2012 10:13:00 +0000

Today's Guardian Cartoon

is thisaway...

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 09:54:00 +0000

Film Least Likely To Win The Academy Awards

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Shareable cartoon hither

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 17:33:00 +0000

I Have Opened Up A Little Shop!

I've made it easier for people to buy my prints and original artworks by setting up A Little Shop on my website. At the moment it's limited edition prints that are up there, but I shall be adding some original artworks soon as well.

If you can't see the cartoon you'd like in my Little Shop, just drop me an email as it may well be available and I just haven't put it up online yet.

Thanks to the inestimable Craig Gell for designing my Little Shop.

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 08:59:00 +0000

Time To Change Postcards

I recently had the pleasure of contributing to the Time To Change campaign, drawing cartoons to combat mental health stigma. Dare Media commissioned me to join the project and the whole thing was one of the most enjoyable commissions I've had in a while.

Dare had already scripted a few strips which needed illustrating (I think they've already appeared in papers - not sure though so I won't post em here yet), but they still needed some jokes for a series of postcards on the subject. Here's what I came up with:

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noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 11:59:00 +0000

Temporary Ghost Of Christmas Future

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noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 11:58:00 +0000

New Year's Eve Excuse-O-Matic 3000

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Guardian NYE cartoon 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 11:56:00 +0000

Guardian Christmas Cartoon

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(Obviously these weren't the words that were published!)

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 11:54:00 +0000

Emily Charlton's DIY Christmas

This year's Prospect Christmas cartoon

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 11:45:00 +0000

Font Love

Guardian Cartoon

(I wrote and roughed this one before learning that a book had come out called 'Just My Type'. Oh well.)

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 09:58:00 +0000

A Christmas Cartoon Nicked Off Of My Brilliant Wife

Hannah thought of this one - always hard thinking of new Christmas Humour that's worth doing as it's such an over-ploughed field. So it's nice to have a brilliant and funny wife around who I can take credit off of. (She insisted not to be bylined, I should add).

See Hither

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 12:16:00 +0000

Churchill Speech

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The cartoon has biggened this week, swamping up the now defunct 'Guess Who?' on page 10 of the Weekend magazine with a few more frames. I didn't ask for this but was delighted to be offered more space to waffle on. Sorry Guess Who fans - amongst whom is counted my wife Hannah, who was a bit disappointed to see Guess Who go. Anyway cos of the redesign the original cartoon was shorter than the printed one - I had to add a couple of frames in when the page got redesigned.

Oi oi this cartoon is shareable Chez Guardian...

(The pencil originals of most of the Guardian cartoons are available to buy by the way, £150 each)

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 10:28:00 +0000

The Enigmatic Novelist's Secret

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Please go here if you fancy sharing this...

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 10:13:00 +0000

What Are You Doing You Stupid Moth?

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thisaway if you fancy sharing it...

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 10:17:00 +0000

Everybody Has A Book Inside Them

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Shareable on the Guardian website

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 10:27:00 +0000

Sorry

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You can share it here if you like

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 10:36:00 +0000

This Week's Guardian Cartoon Is About Two Notes And They're Having A Chat

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Click on this to share eh

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 08:29:00 +0000

A Cartoon In Which I Accidentally Rip Off Steve Tillotson

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Here's this month's Prospect cartoon. An annoying thing happened here. Once my little story of a tragic pink jelly-like character called Mr Wubbles had been published in the magazine, I revisited the work of the excellent Steve Tillotson of Banal Pig comics - and to my horror realised that he already had a tragic pink jelly-like character called, erm, Mr Wobbles. This does occasionally happen, and it's very annoying. What's more, there was a Tom Gauld cartoon which featured a 'Mr Wobbly' too. Sorry guys, honest mistake.

It's genuinely a bit depressing when things like this happen. You think you've come up with a joke or a character, but it turns out it's somebody else's idea that's gone into your brain and you've convinced yourself that you've thought of it. And then everybody thinks you're a big copying bastard.

Anyway, I've apologised to Steve, who was very gracious about it, and urge you to visit his site and buy his stuff, cos he's one of the funniest cartoonists out there.

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 09:20:00 +0000

Philip Larkin

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Click here to share on the Guardian's social networking counters please so I don't look like a right loser

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 10:30:00 +0000

Melvyn Bragg's Really Stressful Day

This week's Guardian cartoon

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noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 09:04:00 +0000

Dear World, Can I Have My Vague Scientist Original Back Please

Just a little appeal for whoever currently has my Vague Scientist original painting. Can I have it back please, as it is not legally yours.

I left it with the exhibitor for ages cos I moved out of London, and never got round to going and picking it up. But I always assumed it would still be with the exhibitor as they are very careful with left works. However when I went back on Saturday to finally pick it up, it wasn't there.

It's true that I left it with the exhibitor for far too long. But that doesn't mean it is no longer wanted, or no longer mine. You may have picked it up by accident, fair enough. Either way bring it back please, it is one of my babies and I miss it.

If you have it, and a conscience, you can take it to the place where you accidentally took it from and just hand it over/put it back in the bag, or feel free to email me through this blog and I'll give you my address to post it.

I have a lot of faith in people, and I doubt it was taken in bad spirit. I imagine whoever has it genuinely thought it wasn't wanted, and they liked it, which is great, in a way.

But the thing is, it is wanted, by me. It took me hours to write, and absolutely ages to paint. And it is not yours. Please give it back.

And, here's a bonus - you'd avoid going to Hell!

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 17:40:00 +0000

Here Is A Cartoon That Basically Nobody On Earth But Me Thought Was Good

Here, in a spirit of pointless transparency, is a cartoon I did a few months ago which nobody I showed it to seemed to like. I mean really, nobody. Ho hum. I still quite like it, but then I would because I did it.

It's supposed to be a parody of those sort of 'in conversation' interviews you get with artists and suchlike, where their work is taken really seriously and everyone crosses their legs in the same way.

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noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 13:17:00 +0000

Here Are Some Original Drawings And Paintings

Here's how I do my cartoons nowadays: in pencil, then I scan and colour them in Photoshop.

I'm going to start making the original pencil drawings available for sale soon, as well as the paintings of I'm The Internet and iPad. So if you're interested just email me!

I've also donated an original drawing from The Gigantic Beard That Was Evil, my book due out in 2012, to the fundraising campaign for Solipsistic Pop 4. Solipsistic Pop is a regular collection of British comics, and it is funded by an incentive-based campaign on indiegogo. I think that if you buy the top incentive package (which contains a *lot* of goodies) you get an original artwork from one of the contributors. This is mine. It's a page from the first draft of the book, and it's one of the ones which so far works best as an image in its own right.

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 09:36:00 +0000

New Cartoon In The Guardian And A Thing About My Stuff

I haven't blogged it yet but I'm now doing a weekly cartoon for the Guardian whoop whoop! It's got a fantastic readership who seem to have a similar sense of humour to me so hopefully it'll go down well. I'm trying to make it a lot less wordy than my usual ones - not least because there's not as much space. It's good discipline.

Here's the first one:

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...and here's this week's:

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And here's the article about my stuff, with a slideshow and all, written by the cartoonist-journalist Becky Barnicoat, whose stuff is fantastic.

noreply@blogger.com (Stephen Collins) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 14:21:00 +0000

The Gigantic Beard That Was Evil

Hello Dave:

"Hello"

Dave has been filling my days for the past few months. He is the main character, indeed pretty much the only character, in my first graphic novel which will be completed by the middle of next year, to be published by Jonathan Cape.

I've been drawing him so many times I've had to make a sculpy maquette to keep his head consistent. It's like being a one-person flipping animation studio.

I say it's a 'graphic novel' but that makes it sound rather more grand than intended. It is basically a picture book with some words in it. I think they call them comics. I'm doing it all with pencil, and a lot of rubbing out.

The book is called 'The Gigantic Beard That Was Evil'. It's about this gigantic beard that causes a right rumpus. More broadly, it's about hair and death and chaos and stories and fear and Stuff Just Happening. And the Bangles.

Here are some pictures from it, without the words:

(Oh and also I'm starting a new cartoon in the Guardian Weekend magazine tomorrow which I'm very excited about. I believe they're running a piece about my cartoons by way of introduction. So look out for it if you get the Guardian, though I'm not sure if they'll put it on the website yet. Go on! Buy it!)

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