Coffee Stains & Drops of Paint

2011-12-30T14:18:00.000-05:00

"She kissed as if she, alone, could forge the signature of the sun."

2011-12-18T11:31:00.000-05:00

Check out my new blog.
http://alicepaisely.wordpress.com/

advice for winter

2011-11-17T21:50:00.000-05:00

If you don’t like the story you are telling, move the sentences around.
Let somebody read your body like a question mark.
Shake some souls, move some worlds. Make music and feel it in your bones.
Let nothing go to waste.

Come Back

2011-02-03T11:37:00.002-05:00

This used to be you. I hope you find your way back soon. I need my sister.

can't wait to see you

2011-01-09T13:56:00.001-05:00

you are so far away

2011-01-07T22:06:00.000-05:00

i feel like i need a million hugs tonight

i finally slept in my bed

2011-01-06T21:05:00.000-05:00

Since you left, I have not been able to sleep in my own bed. I also caught a bad case of insomnia. All I do is lay awake thinking about how I want to get lost with you. Because it doesn't matter where we go, as long as I'm with you. Anywhere but here though, I need a change of scenery.

2 more weeks

2011-01-02T22:40:00.000-05:00

Sheesh

2011-01-01T21:25:00.002-05:00

WOW. Today has been near perfect.

It's been a while since I've slept in and I got to today!
2011 has been amazing so far (minus not having my boyfriend here)
I've watched cartoons all day, cleaned the kitchen and started the year off great with a new blog!

That's where all my time and energy has gone this month. It's been a great way of coping with Stace being gone.

But I will continue to escape here. always. Coffee Stains has become my refuge when I tend to think myself dizzy.

Day 1

2010-12-16T23:20:00.000-05:00

So today is day 1 of 35 without Stacey.
Honestly I didn't think for a second it would be a problem for me, miss independent, miss i love being alone, miss I have tons of things to occupy my time with. Yeah I knew I would be sad, but gee this is a total shocker- Day 1 and I'm already having withdrawals. I know it is only going to get harder so I'll save all my depressing emotions for later.

In order to not go insane I have told myself to stay busy. Spend time with the girls. Finish some art projects. Get motivated. Set some goals to focus on through the month. Eat healthy and exercise. And most importantly, Blog Blog Blog.

Keep Positive.

Dear Colorado,

2010-12-13T00:45:00.000-05:00

I know we haven't met but please be good to my boyfriend while he is with you. he really likes you. i am giving up christmas and new years with him so please send him back fast. hope to meet you soon.
-the girlfriend in Tennessee

unperfected

2010-12-13T00:35:00.000-05:00

Can you bring me the sunset in a cup?
You can leave it on the nightstand
next to the unfinished homework
and half read novels.

Because a celebration is in store.
We've done it.
We have reached the level
of swiftly flowing anticipation.

The butterflies are here to stay,
even through the dead winter.

therapy mondays

2010-12-13T00:14:00.000-05:00

a long winding path of playing roles.
chuck taylor's on.
4 new jcrew cardigans
taking pieces of lifetimes, friends and icons.
going through phases in life
ups and downs
turn arounds
new crowds

when will we find consistency?
loving each moment
hating each moment
changing perspectives-
the only way to get through life
falling in love
forgetting loves
taking pretty pieces of phases
to create one true soul
with a loving hippie heart
and a hodge podge of knowledge

stil undefined
with a taste of my own medicine.

cold sweats

2010-12-13T00:06:00.001-05:00

Clock work calculations.

Perfect Predictions.
I can feel it slowly
inching its way in.
Dizzy footsteps. Cold sweats. Shaky hands.
Beating, thumping, pounding,
heart.
Body check 1....2....5....19.

"I'm back."

Control- Lost.
Pride- Lost.
Addiction- Found.

Hold on Strength and Happiness.
Miss Sassy is looking for you.

Winter worries.
I should know better
even with blurred vision.

Baby, it's cold outside

2010-12-10T12:26:00.000-05:00

mother earth

2010-11-28T21:48:00.001-05:00

for a spilt second, you didn’t realise this wasn’t a human eye, right?

“all things share the same breath - the animal, the tree, the human… the perfumed flowers are our sisters; the deer, the horse, the great eagle, these are our brothers. the rocky crests, the juices of the meadows, the body heat of the pony, and people - all belong to the same family… what are people without animals? if all the beasts were gone, humans would die from a great loneliness of spirit. for whatever happens to the animals soon happens to the people… all things are connected like the blood that unites us. teach your children what we have taught our children, that the earth is our mother.”

retrospect glow

2010-11-17T21:35:00.003-05:00

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. — 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.
- from Self-Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson

how long will it take

2010-11-17T21:02:00.000-05:00

questioning.

looking.

searching for truth,

searching for answers.

will I find it in you?

depression diagnosis

2010-11-11T13:53:00.002-05:00

excerpt from Goblin Market by Christina Rossetti

For there is no friend like a sister,
In calm or stormy weather,
To cheer one on the tedious way.
To fetch one if one goes astray
To lift one if one totters down,
To strengthen wilst one stands.

Saturday Tea

2010-10-23T10:48:00.001-04:00

"Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident."
— Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis de Bernières

sideways rain

2010-10-09T08:52:00.000-04:00

it is impossible to please everyone
please yourself first

true strength

2010-09-21T14:10:00.001-04:00

Anyone can give up. It's the easiest thing in the world to do. but to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, now that's true strength. You got this Sis, I'm right here.

kinda like the tea cups

2010-09-19T23:03:00.000-04:00

the only way to begin
is to let love in
from head to toe
love from your core
give all you've got
and then give more

love until your high on love
and butterflies live inside you
love until you feel drunk off love
and your head is spinning with emotion
love until you become lovesick
and you are unable to act normally

love until you feel like you are riding the tea cups
yeah...kinda like that.
because it is a phenomenon
to be able to feel that intensity.

Scratch That

2010-09-18T16:09:00.000-04:00

~~Forever is a long time.~~

Forever can be a really really short time.
You gotta make the most of it.
Go to Paris.
Walk around in your underwear.
Dance in the rain.
Take chances.
Pick up a hitchhiker.
Laugh at yourself.
Search your soul.
Love God.

And this is what it feels like

2010-09-18T15:36:00.001-04:00

And this is what it feels like
to be open to you,
open to feeling.
Open to experiencing all things new
by allowing opportunities to flood in.
Drowning the fear of uncertainty
and riding the wave of bliss
with each and every kiss.

It feels like I'm running blindfolded
as my heart takes the lead
with out stretched arms
and freedom blowing through my hair.

It feels free
with no barriers
or filters.
Just naked in truth.

It feels like the breeze from the Dollywood swings.
And the nerves from Adventure Mountain.
Walking on that stupid tiny rope.
Trying not to look down,
just right at you-
keeping my balance.

But I'm falling as fast as the meteors do
trusting that you are falling too
because that's really all that matters anyway.