Coffee, tea, And Milk

Dreams On Fire

2012-01-22T21:13:00.000-08:00

I have lost my trust and hope in myself ?!
Have I ?

What should I do now ?
Should continue this ?
Something I never wished I did ?
Something that was for the good of my guardian who raised me up ?
My heart ache but I only had a poker face outside. I laughed when I saw my score! Hahaha! Wow....
Can't you believe it ? I laughed.
Now I have to answer my own question.
It really is something challenging.
Something I wish none would have to face this problem.

Well, the fact, everyone have to face it whether they like it or not. Because, it's life.
Truth to be told, I never chose this right?
What should I do ?
Confused, torture in my head, painful, sad...all the negative is in me right now.

Dad has started his usual mode: nagging. But all I did is just smile and gave a low laugh just to show him that ' i don't care' expression.
Deep in my heart, it really does hurt. Why am I being like this!
Why can't I just tell him the truth?
Because,I'm all writing but not good in talking it out.
If you want me to say something, I can express in in writing but in words...i get mixed up scared I wouldn't bring it out well.

So, here I am sitting in front of the screen staring at my AS results,on FB (continously waiting some miracle to happen at one page) and also typing it out, since I can't keep it to my self anymore.

Life.....life....life...

Thinking about the people who had gone through a lot of this like me and had become a successful person in life and idolized, it only makes me to become an even stronger person.

I always think about, how it is to be like one of them?

I have never been like this before...all I show is happiness but do you know, happy people could have a different side of them too?
All I want to do is be different.
It's nothing wrong to be different right? It only makes you to be a different people and an outstanding one and I want to be like that.

Why?
I have been influenced too much of my dreams.
And now, it's on fire.

Still, sometimes, it washes away when I think of another future I might hold.
A future which my guardians wants me to have.
Would I still be happy? contented with what I will have? blissful?
Aish, what am I talking?

They say hardwork will pay but it only takes the money away.
I have given my best to get my dream and also my parents dream.

In another few more months I finally had to jump in either one of this two things. It's like I'm standing in the middle of a wired gate where the other side, what I want and all I want,even it brings hardship to me,i know i will be contented, because I chose it and I won't give up even if I'm tired.
Another side, my parents wants me to be. Happy easy, normal life,with a simple job and family to take care.

Which one I still have my heart to?
Of course, one's strongest ones.

Sometimes I wish I could just walk straight in front of my both guardian, and talk to them out all my feelings and doubt
But I dont have the courage.
"Dad, why? why? why can't I take the road I want? Why do I have to always listen to yours? Why can't I be different from all those typical people in the world? I want to go out? Be out of the box. I want to explore new things, do something different from all the people who do the same and never wants adventure. I want what I want. I chose this and I know what I'm doing. I know I would never, never regret."

And I would always think my dad's answer will be," ARE YOU STUPID? CRAZY? BODOH? You never listen to me do you?"

That's when I give up sometimes, just sometimes.

Whenever I go to bed. I think of something I always had in my heart.
My happy future? How will it turn out?
Am I that lucky enough?

I'm still having my fingers crossed, even though a thunder had striked me today, I still have another result to wait by the end of feb or march.
Maybe, I could get lucky?
Could I?
Maybe I can get back my courage when I get my result.
I will. I already.
Think positive.
Think positive.
It's never the end of the world yet.
I am lucky!
I already have been chosen because I have confidence in myself.
I am already a trainee!
I am currently raining to dance, sing, on diet, thinking of being in a funny variety show.
Having new mates.
Think positive!
Sigh..

Gotto go.
Lunch time. I dont dare to face my dad.

Chapter 69:

2012-01-12T23:53:00.000-08:00

Onew's POV

Uh?

"Chaerin-ah," I held her hand which was nearest to me.

Her hand is trembling.

And she was in sweat.

What is she thinking?

I was getting nervous.

She stood up and which made me stood up too.

We were the only ones outside. All the others went in already.

Personally, I was scared to see Minho too. I'm scared that I will cry and making Chaerin see Minho is this conditition, I doubt she will live it up.

She walked in without speaking any word at all.

All the others were there surrounding him.

Minho's mum were sobbing lightly now. His dad was next to his mum, holding her.

Jonghyun gave way to Chaerin to go next to him.

Taemin had a shocking expression and a cried face.

Chaerin held the bed's side bar.

Minho was wrapped with bandage in his head his hand and his torso.

There was a oxygen mask in his mouth.

And the cardiogram was moving really slow.

Chaerin took her left hand out and stretch it towards him.

"Excuse me, sir, may i know his guardian please.We need to talk," The doctor came in holding a file.

"I'll go," His dad say," Jinki follow me," I have to leave Chaerin behind. I took one last look at her and went with Minho's father.

Outside,

The doctor waited for us.

He took out the paper from the file and showed us.

"I'm sorry sir, but he is really in a bad condition. We tried out best. Unfortunately, his torso bone has broken and he had lost a lot of blood during the ride to the hospital. We need to wait and see what's his result. All I can say is pray for luck," He then bowed to us and walked away.

Minho's dad was in shocked that he slide down to the wall and gave up. He broke down.

"Abbe-abbeojji, please you have to be strong," I held his hand to comfort him.

We went inside.

Chaerin;s mum was holding Chaerin shoulder.

Chaerin still had the same expression, blank.

But I saw tears.

Then I saw something in her eyes. Tired? Dizzy?

She fainted right in front of us.

"Omo! Chaerin!" Her mum supported her but she was not strong enough that Chaerin fell down and Key and Jonghyun ran to catch her before I could.

I made my way towards her.

"I'll call the doctor," Chaerin's dad went and came with a nurse walking past us.

"Move, excuse me can you please move. Give her some space please," the nurse advised us.

The nurse approach Key who was holding Chaerin.

"Can you please put her into the next bed," She ordered him and he did it.

The nurse then took out a syringe, injected it into her vein. She didn't even wince at all.

They are taking a blood sample I think.

She checked her heart beat and the nurse struggled for a while.

She rechecked her heartbeat.

Then she check her hand's artery beat.

"I'll be back. We need her to get an x-tray. She having abnormal heart beats," Then she walked out of the room.

With both of them lying in each bed. It looks so pathetic.

Why on earth would they have to face this!

I sighed and sat next to Taemin who had his eyes closed but not really sleeping.

The nurse arrived with a doctor. A woman.

"We'll bring her to the x-tray room," The doctor assured us.

She was brought out of the room still lying on the stretcher.

Then I heard a scream. Inside the room among us.

"MINHO!!!!"

"Minho!! Can you hear me? He moved! I swear I saw him moved!!! Jagi, I saw him moved!" It was his mum. I'm not sure she is hallucinating or what but Jonghyun saw it too.

This made me and Taemin to stand up.

I saw the cardiogram beating high now. It went to the maximum beat and to the minimum.

Then his whole body started to move.

"Minho?" Was all I could utter.

I didn't realise the doctor was here already.

"Move aside please," then all of was step back.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Dumbstuck, everyone couldn't move from their position.

Minho.

He left us.

All of us.

His parents.

His members.

Most importantly,

Chaerin.

Chapter 68:

2012-01-08T19:39:00.000-08:00

Onew's POV

"I'm sorry sir, your phone ID says you are Jin Ki are you?"

"Yes, yes, I am. Please tell me what happen to the car or to the driver?!"

"We need you to be here any minute. His life is at stake right now,"

"MWO??!" I screamed not caring about my surrounding.

"We found out he is SHINee's Choi Minho, so you must be one of his band member right?"

I couldn't answer any of his question already.

His life is at stake.

His life is at stake.

His. Life. Is. At. Stake.

Okay, calm down, Onew-ah, calm down. Everything will be alright.

"Hyung? Anything wrong? Who was that on the phone?" Jonhyun came towards me with a tray full of empty glasses.

My eyes felt teary and I tried to get distracted.

I have to tell it somehow by not making a fuss out of it.

I slowly took my courage to tell Jonghyun first.

"Jong, Mi-Min- Minho is at the hospital, someone ca-cal-call me and told that his life is at stake,"

Jonghyun didn't talk, he was speechless but his expression show it all that he was shocked.

Eyes wide, mouth rounded and his hands were shaking.

*Clash!!!* He dropped the tray and all the glass broke.

"Does, Chaerin know this?!!" I guess he was thinking the same as me.

Chaerin, how and what should I tell her? It's their wedding, and they have gone through a lot to get here and today is their special day.

"We should inform the others," Was all I could tell.

"I will tell the others," Jonghyun nod and run away leaving the broken glass shattered.

"I will tell Chaerin," I told myself.

*Knock, knock*

"Yes, come in," It was Chaerin's voice.

I opened the door and went in.

She was with 3 other make up artist.

And she look

Perfect and gorgeous in my eyes. Like an Angel.

And I am going to be the Demon who is going to break this Beautiful Angel standing in front of me smiling not knowing what she is going to face.

I took the courage to tell her. I have to tell her!

"Chaerin, err.....we need to go the hospital now,"

"Eh? Waeyo?" She frowned looking confused.

"Minho is at the hospital. I think he had an accident,"

"WHAT?! Oppam what are you talking?! Tell me this is not one of your Onew condition is it?!"

"Jung Chaerin, I'm not lying or playing around!" I cound't take i, I shouldn't cry, no control!

But Chaerin look so calm and I couldn't read her expression at all.

"Jinki-ah, is Jonghyun telling the truth??!" Minho's mum came in with her eyes wet and hair looked messed up.

Behind was Chaerin mum and both the dads.

I just nod.

"Omo!" Mrs.Choi covered her mouth in shock.

"Hyung! We got to got here now!" Jonghyun came in with Key and Taemin having a blank face full of furiousity.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Everyone came running into the Hospital.

The parents went in fisrt with Key and Jonghyun while I bring Chaerin in.

She was not even talking at SINGLE word after the incident in the room.

Minho was in ICU ward.

Everyone of us were waiting outside.

Half sitting and half standing.

Chaerin just followed us quietly. Still in her Hanbok.

People around us staring.

She plopped into the bench and stare into space.

I went ans sat next to her and held her hand.

She just let me take her hand and I grip her hand.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

After what seems like eternity, just 5 hours, the doctors came out.

He talked something to Minho's dad and Minho's mum heard it too. Both of them held their tears and went into the ward.

"Minho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I heard her mum scream and cry.

I looked at Chaerin for reaction but

No. She is still staring at the space.

What is going on to her?

"Chaerin, come on in, you have to see him,"

I stood up gesturing her to stand up too.

But she sat there still.

"Chaerin..." I whispered.

"I'm not going in," she said expressionless.

"Chaerin?"

"I don't want to go in,"

Chapter 67: Wedding.

2012-01-07T00:10:00.000-08:00

Your POV

"Chaerin, is this the right vow you guys going to read?" Min was at the doorway with a paper script for the wedding vow.

"Ne," I told her who was in her elegant black dress.

I am currently surrounded makeup artists.

One doing my hair, one fixing my make up and one with my Hanbok.

The room is air conditioned but I still feel heaty in every single cell of mine.

I guess this is what you call excitement of getting married or just nervousness?

*Knock knock

"Girls, 25 minutes more," Minho's mum came in through the door.

She stood there half bemused and half awed at me.

"Omo! Darling, you are so...Oh, I'm speechless! by the way 25 minutes more," She reminded us.

And she went out.

Every single family members are busy with their task.

The dad's are busy with the invited guest.

Not much people were invited only close family and friend's of mine and Minho's and his labelmates.

Of course the SHINee boys are so much willing to do anything to help their member's wedding day, so Onew's in charge of decorations.

Key and Jonghyun willingly wanted to be the guest servers.

"Chaerin, come on, look at yourself in the mirror," One of the makeup eonni told me.

I stood up and face the full length mirror.

Is that ME?!

Wow!

A pink, blue hanbok chosen by Minho's mum is really suitable on me.

I wonder how Minho looks like and what would he think about this.

I smiled at my reflection and it smiled back right at me.

I took a deep breath. Calm down.

How can I be calmed down when it's MY WEDDING DAY!

"Chaerin,you ready?! Minho's supposed to be coming on his way with the Girukabi ( Person who leads the way to the bride's place) but he is a little late with his ring I guess," Min came in asuring us to get ready.

A/N: Chaerin and Minho are having a Traditional Korean wedding. So the first procedure is the Groom's Parade where the groom will be lead by the Girikabi tothe Bride's place with musical instrument to announce his arrival.

For some reason I somehow felt worried. He shouldn't be this late. He won't be late for this time of occasion, he is always punctual.

He told me that he was going to get the rings we ordered at the ring maker's shop before going and make his way straight to his place.

"Min, can I have your phone?" Maybe he was stuck in traffic or something?

The phone rings.

But no one picked.

"Aish, come one, pick the phone," I mumbled to myself.

It rings, rings and rings.

I gave up and put the phone down.

Sigh.

Nevermind, just wait, everything will go just as we plan.

All we want is the normal wedding and I hope it will be over soon.

I was already sweating and my tied hair is a little tight.

"Don't worry, he'll be here soon," Min told me and took her phone, "I'll beright back, ok," she went out.

What is this weird feeling in me?

Like something is not up?

Suddenly, I felt sick. My stomach began to twirl and I fell like vomiting.

"Oh, eonni, I need to use the toilet now," I told one of the eonni sitting with me.

"Now? You can't go out now," She put down the magazine she was reading and had a worried face on her now.

"Eonni, I think I'm going to puke, my head's aching now,"

"Oh no, dear, are you sick? Wait let me get you something to vomit in," she ran out of the door and in a minute came back with a dustbin.

"This is all I could find. I don't want to let the other worried so I got this," She put it in front of me.

My stomach twirled again and I held it in my hand.

I vomited inside the bin.

"You okay now?"

Much better but still the same.

"Ne," I nodded.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Minho's POV

"Shoot, I'm late," I saw the time and I'm supposed to be at the temple in another 15 minutes.

"I'm so sorry for the delay," the shop keeper hand in a small bag with the ring in and I quickly thank him and went out toward my car.

I had to run.

I took out my car key and drove out of the parking lot in hurry.

"Oohh!! Minho oppa!" I heard someone screamed my name. It was a fan waving and I waved at her back.

"Come on, come on,fast," I took the car out of the lot and into the driveway.

There was no car in the street. I think I can make it in time.

I press the oil pedal to near 100 km/hr.

@@@@@@@@@@

Someone's POV

"Oh, there's the car," He informed while standing at the car door.

"Look, I don't want to do this, please," I begged him.

"Yes, you are doing it and now!!" He screamed.

I was scared and my life is at threatening state by him.

"Please, no this way at least," I was on the urge to cry but I kept it away.

"Now, or never!" He slammed the door and stood out motioning me to go after him.

I took a deep breath and hit the pedal. It zoomed up to 100km/hr in just a minute?!

I drove straight into the empty road knowing that he would pass by in front of me by any second and I'm going to finish him.

I don't want this. I don't WANT HIM TO DIE!!

I don't care if I die but I'm going to take my fault for what I've done to him before.

So I changed my mind. And hit the brake pedal. I don't care what he is going to do to me but I'm not going to kill Minho!

Hit again and again but it's NOT STOPPING!

What the?! No, no, no!!! No! NO!

I hit it one last time but the brake is not working.

I had to steer the steering into a different direction to avoid my car crashing to his.

But the tire drifted and AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I honed him to warn him.

----------------------------

Minho's POV

What is that screeching noise?!

And where is that coming from??!

I heard honning but where?

I turn to my right and I saw a car coming straight toward me in a very fast speed!

WHAT?!

There was my phone ringing next to me.

Caller ID: Chaerin Honey.
-----------------------------------------------

A loud crash was heard and there was a lot of smoke coming from the street.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Onew's POV

"Anyeonghaseyo, is this someone related to the guy with car number plate Seoul 0991?" Someone on my phone asked me.

"Ne, waeyo? Is there anything?" It's Minho's car.

"I'm sorry sir, but I'm calling from Seoul General Hospital. Could you make it in time here by any minute?"

My face went read and every single part of my cell hit a warning button.

"May I know why?"

The Experience Of An Inexperience.

2011-12-29T21:54:00.000-08:00

It all started when I got an consideration e-mail from Alpha Entertainment for another audition.

I told my friend Ariel first and she was shocked? She asked me whether I really want to do this or not. But at that moment the only thing I could think is 'I really want to do this!'

She told me to tell m parents. I was planning on how and when to ask. Inside myself I was fighting with my heart and brain whether they will think twice and accept my request or just say I'm stupid.

Before I asked my parents, I plan a little something so nothing could go wrong. I asked my Singapore friend whether I can come over to her house to stay over because the next day they were coming over to stay at my house eventually. She text me back saying

WOW! Cool! Sure, sure! You can come over!

I was happy for a second then, I thought about her parents, what will they think of me?
I asked for her parents permission and fortunately, uncle was willing to help me after all!

Then I asked my dad on an engagement party three days before the audition. I wasn't sure what his answer was but I was already practicing my songs. I had this feeling tht I will go to the audition no matter what. When I asked him he got really mad and said,

"What?! You crazy, no,no!"
"Why can't I go?! They called me back!"
"I sad no means no! You are just wasting your time!"
"Why?! Give me a reason!"
"No, means no!" And then I god mad and didn't talk to him.

Why wouldn't he tell me his reason for his denial?

Then, that day I couldn't sleep at all. I text my Ariel and she gave me a lot of encouragement. I was on the rage of crying and I did.

Sleeping with a heart break was not a good idea. I woke in the middle of the night thinking what should I do.

The next day, I ask for confirmation from my Singapore friend. saying that if I come one day before and you help me take a bus and go there but she was really good she said her dad can help me send me to the auditioning place and her brother will stay with me.

I was all great and I messaged my dad since it was awkward talking to him for me. Then he called me back. I knew he was going to asked about it.

And we talk. He said, "Ma. what is this? You really want to do this is it?"

"Yes. Can I? Please! I asked permission from uncle already. they say can!"

"Okay, okay, I will bring you then,"

I was seriously jumping up and down.

Then I had a dream of me in the audition and I was lost of lyrics and I couldn't sing and I mumble something. Weird....

Then I still didn't talk to my dad the next day. I told Ariel that I was going for the audition! My brother kept on saying you are crazy, as if they are going to choose you...!

I was a little heart broken because I didn't get any family support. The only support was from my two dearest friends.

And the next day, one day before the audition, In the morning, while having breakfast. My brother brought up the topic. So are you going to Singapore today? Loud enough for my dad and mum to hear.

I said, "Yes, appa is bringing me,"

"What?!" My mum started.

"Appa told me he is bringing me,"

"Dad what is this?" My mum ask dad.

"Ah...she is just crazy. You are not going," He simply said. I was frozen. Did he just say that?!

"Dad but you told me you are bringing me!"

"No you are not going! Think about what uncle will think when you just go and burden them!" My mum shouted.

"I just want to go!" I was on the verge of crying but I control.

"What are you going to do? People with talent go not you!" tht hurt me a lot.

"Ma, just keep quiet," my dad told me.

I just stood there fidgeting with something in my hand on that time. I think it was a pipe presser. Then my brother asked me what are you doing? I threw that thing over him and ran out of the kitchen, sat on the sofa and read my novel.

I keep on reading and listening to the song I wanted to sing for the audition.

I never moved away from my place. Then after my dad went to work about two hours later, I had a call from my dad.

He said, "Okay, get ready at night later. You are going today,"

I was jumping already inside!!! and I asked," What? why?"

"Uncle called me he said he got no work and wants you to come over,"

"Oh! Okay, "I kept cool on the phone and I kept cool outside too but seriously happy inside!!!!!!!

Then at night I got ready, pack my stuffs and clothes. My mum didn't know that I was going. And I told her whn she ask me what are you packing?

I told her Dad is bringing me and my mum stay, "You crazy?" but I ignored her.

I told her goodbye and went out.

@@@@@@@@@

Reached Singapore and stayed at my friends house.

You know what time I slept? At 1.00am! And I had to wake up at 6.00am the next day!(Well, it's officially the next day already)

Me, my friend's brother and my friend were singing talking and talking and then we had to sleep. Uncle wanted to wake us up at 6am.

I felt like I just slept for one hour and it's already 6am! Uncle came in and wake us up!

I went and took my bath after Satish( My friend's brother's name) and Jaishree took her bath after me.

I wasn't nervous in the morning. We had breakfast at a hawker centre at 7am. I had roti canai but I wasn't that hungry at all but I still force myself to dump it in my stomach.

Then after a five minutes drive we reach our destination or MY destination.

It was an auditorium. And I reached there at 7.55am. The registration starts at 8.30am, I was early.

When I reach there there where only like 25 of them there and I thought am I in the wrong place why so less people?

Then after a few minutes the crowd came flooding like a sea!

Luckily I lined up in the first row with my printed Special Audition form. I was the 6th person in the line and when I turn behind to see............

I was ONE LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG QUEUE!

I guess around 500 people?! I didn't really count!

Then the CEO came and told us to go inside the auditorium and we took our seats!

Jaishree and Uncle left because she had to go to school and Satish stayed outside playing with his Iphone.

I made friends with two girls next to me. I can't remeber their name actually. They are 0951,0952 (They tag number. Everyone supposed to have this tag! Mine is 0953!)

They were friendly and one of them told me I had a sweet smile?! (For one second I was like uh??! My smile is sweet??!! Then I thanked her! She was really sweet!!!)

We talked about where we came from and what we were studying. They were surprise that I came all the way from Malaysia.

Then we told to line up and it was so fast!

I stood up line in the row, Went into a room where the judges were.
3 of them!
(Here's a brief explanation on them!)

3 casting directors from Alpha Korea for this coming auditions and Jan's JYP Alpha audition: all are formerly from SM
1) Manager of TVXQ, SNSD, Kangta
2) Casting Director - most of the artistes from SM
3) Head of Training - scouted Zhou Min and Victoria. Trained SNSD, SJ, SJ M, F(X), 3 members from SHINee

The nthe 1st person started to sing! She had great voice! Then 2nd then 3rd, 4th, 5th! And finally me!!! the 6th!!!!

I was having a weird nausea in my stomach but I calm myself. I started sing my Keep Bleeding verse

And it's draining all of me ( I lost myself in the song!)Oh, they find it hard to believe ( I NEARLY FORGOT THIS LINE!!!)I'll be wearing these scars for everyone to see (I crack my voice at the 'SEE')

I cleared my throat 'erg emm' and continue singing.

I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you They try to pull me away but they don't know the truthMy heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing
You cut me and open I ( The guy judge stop me before I could go on high tone!)
I went back to my place and the next person went for her chance.

Then it was over! I was in the first batch and my audition WAS OVER!

I went out and went into the auditorium back because the staffs asked so. Then a lot of reporters came in taking pictures of us and asking questions. One came to me!

She told me she took a picture of me singing and she ask for my details.
Like where am I form? What am I doing? How long did u practice? How old am I?

You know what a lot of them couldn't just believe I am 18 YEARS OLD!! WHY???!!! WAEYO??!!

Then some one just came up to me and said Mediacorp wants to interview you, can you coem over? I was like what??!! me??!! OHNO!

Then I followed him. He said this is for Channel 5 news and Vasantham Tamil News!
I was shaking already? Would everyone see this??!! Great, I'm DOOMED!
The reporter told me to answer her questions in Tamil.

She ask Why did you came here?
Ans: (I seriously was babbling something!!!! )I told them I like singing since I was introduced to music. I've know kpop for tow years and my friends gave me encouragement do I came to try my best.

What are you going to do in future?

Ans: (In future??!! I have no idea what to answer and I can't remember what I told them!)

Then they said thank you and you can go.
I saw Satish waving at me and putting his thumbs up. So I just laughed at him from far away.

Then when I got back to the auditorium, they say we can all go back and wait for the results in a month time!

I came out running towards Satish and I told him. Well I came at 8am and finished at 11.00am! So fast rite?

I told him about my interview with the Mediacorp and he was excited!

Then we went back home, Uncle came and fetch us.

We had lunch, drawed for Satish some bicycle parts and then followed him to his tuition place and stayed there for 3 hours!

Then Jaishree's mum bring us to McD! When I was buying Vanilla Ice Cream I saw a Human Size Card of MINHOO!!!!! SHINee's Choi Minho for Etude House shop! He was standing outside! Hahaha! I couldn't keep my eyes away from him! I wanted to take a pic with him but my aunt use the other way to go back! Bad!

Then we went back home! Uncle wanted to see me in the Vasantham News at 8.30pm and then he told me he will bring be back home together with Jaishree and Satish!

So we waited for the News to air! I was excited but nervous at the same time! The News went on but I didn't appear. Then we thought they didn't air it or what...then 5 mins before the New going to end, the News reader talked about Alpha Audition that was held in Singapore that few dreamers came to get a chance for their stardom! And I screamed when I saw me! Omo! ME!!!

It's me!!! IT'S ME! I ran to the TV to hide myself! I was seriously babbling! I was embarrassed! I thought of my parents. What would they think of me?!

Oh, no, no! Without me knowing Satish recorded me talking in his Iphone! That's super great! ARGH!!!

Then we went back home! My dad called Uncle and uncle told about me appearing on News. He didn't believe my uncle at first but then he got a call from his insurans client telling him she saw his daughter on TV talking to the journalist. He thought I was stupid and crazy because he didn't see the news.

We reach home. JB finally and I messaged my friend to tell her I came back!

Then Satish showed my parents the video he recorded! I was really shy and I said NO, NO! DON'T SEE!!!

Then at around 11.30 another one of my aunty called my dad saying she saw me in the News! My dad was like, "What is going on?!"

So, the fame goes on where one of my college friend called me saying she saw me in Channel 5 news! She was like." Hem!1 I saw u! I saw on the news! You were auditioning!!"

And then, after a few days later, I went to Singapore again for my Dad's friend;s Party and The Whole Family saw me on News! They keep saying that!

Goshh! I don't know what I was feeling happy or ....err....because it's something new to me! I've never been so much talked like this before by others.

"Hey, I saw you on the News! What did you do?! Korean pop song? What song you sing?"

This is the only line I keep on hearing from the others!

I even addad the CEO on FB! How cool could that be??! Uh?! But I don't know what he expect form me when he asked that question to me! "What do u want me to do if you are not selected?"

So, Yup! That's it!

I, Coffee, sincerely thank my friend, Ariel, Tea and Jaishree's family and my family for all they have been supporting!

I'm looking forward for my result!

I Don't Care What They Say!

2011-12-26T00:31:00.000-08:00

Helloo,

Sorry It's been like days ever since I last post about my CRAZY life right?!

So here's something to update on.

1. Life is not an easy road. So let's everyone take a slow ride.
2. My college holidays are ending and 3rd semester is starting soon.
3. I need to decide what I want to do even though it give so much of an headache.
4. I hope something could happen. Like a I had a wishing lamp and when I caress it the Genie gives me JUST ONE WISH! At least I got one!
5. Sometimes something sad cannot be told out.
6. My parents thinks I'm going crazy whenever I start listening to songs.
7.I help my parents these days. Well, I'm 18 and I got to learn something since I'm growing.
8.I decided to keep some secrets to myself.
9.Only one of my friend knows about my deepest dream! or is it two?!
10.I give up everything I want to my faith!

That's it for this time! Got to go!
It's 26 December 2011.

Coffee!

Chapter 66:

2011-12-18T21:58:00.000-08:00

Your POV

I woke up with Minho rolled over next to me with his arm across my chest.

Looking at him sleeping so peacefully makes me want him to stay like this.

To feel his breath, his peculiar scent, his body heat.

I slowly brush Minho's hairs using my fingers.

Still lying in this bed it feels forever and I wanted it to be forever.

I felt a ticklish feeling around my stomach. Underneath the blanket, Minho's fingers were making small circles around my belly.

I pulled his hair so that he can face me.

He still had his sleepy face which automatically makes me smile at his cuteness.

"Good morning," I whispered.

He nod his head.

"It's morning.Aren't you going to wake up?" I ask still brushing his hair.

He shook his head this time. I hit him playfully. He rolled even closer to me.

Then, a phone rang.

"Minho?" It was Key's voice. Then I realize I took Minho's phone.

"Key?"

"Chaerin?"

"Yes?"

"Oh, is Minho there?"

"Ne,"

"Oh,er...sorry to disturb you two but is he still sleeping?"

I can see he is still making circles at my belly and I know he can hear me.

"Not really,"

"Ok. He is supposed to be here in a while now. Can you informed him,"

"Oh, I will tell him, then,"

"Thanks. Chaerin?"

"Ye?"

"So, how is your new house? Like it?"

"Love it! How did you know?"

"Well, someone next to you made me carry all you stuff from your parents house!" I laughed at his annoyed voice.

"Thanks!" I said and he hung up.

"Mr. Choi Minho,"

"Yes, Mrs. Choi Minho?"

I smiled at the way he made me smile always.

"Are you going to wake up now? Key called you,"

He shook his head and hugged me.

"Ya! If you are not going to wake up, you are making your own breakfast!" I pushed him and stood up.

"Don't I get a morning kiss?" He held my wrist and blow up his mouth, pouting at the same time.

I went closer and popped his mouth and said, "You had me all night! So get up!" I pinched him.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 months later.

We have been staying in our newly bought house together and wedding is in another two months time.

Well, getting married is not and easy job.

Minho's mum has been helping me a lot.

She and my mum wanted a traditional Korean wedding for us.

Besides that, me and Minho had been crazily busy too.

Invitation cards design was done by me, left printing it out.

Place for wedding had to be booked, decorations stuff have to be bought soon, official wedding rings had not been chosen yet, and clothing.

Minho's mum called me saying she wanted me to follow her to a traditional Hanbok shop to get wedding clothes for us.

I'm super excited.

Minho said he will drive us there after a little work he had to do.

Chapter 65: Back Together.

2011-12-08T02:17:00.000-08:00

Your POV

Well, after some busy stuff here in Korea, I went back to Paris to settle all my stuff there also.

I resigned my job there and I told Daniel I'm not going to be his model anymore.

Dad agreed on me doing all these stuff myself.

Minho has helped me sign up for a work in SM Entertainment.

I got a job after they looked into my resume.

Well, it's just the same job I've been doing in Paris! Designer but in SM for the Artists.

New has spread about Minho getting married and the fans were a little outrageous at first but soon settle down.

We had to do a small talk and they release the video in the Internet.

There are people who support us and some hates us.

But I'm ignoring them.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

*Phone rings*

"Yoboseyo,"

"Hello, honey!" It's Minho.

"Ne?"

"When are you finishing your work today?"

"In a while," I looked at my watch.

"Okaaayyy, I have something to show you!" He planted a kiss through the phone.

"Hahaha! Any clues?" I asked him laughing.

"Nope! You have to wait and see!"

"Humpphh!!" I pouted.

"I can see you are pouting. Well see you later then,"

He put down the phone.

After some paper works and drawings, the time shows 6.00pm.

Okay, time to go!

I put all the parers in a file, neatly arrange it and went to the door to click on the sign out button on my name.

Near the entrance I saw Minho's car waiting for me.

He came out and open the passenger seat door politely.

Confusing I eyed him what-is-going-on-look.

"You'll see," he whispered.

He drove the car around the city and I was a little excited about it.

"Aren't you going give any hint?!" I puppied my eyes.

"Not going to work," he smiled.

"Aish!" I slam back to the seat.

Then the car slowed down at a pavement near a triple story house.

"Minho, where are we?"

"Our house," He simply said.

Uh? Our house?!

He stopped the car, off the engine and stood out of the car.

I came out of the car too.

"Minho..."

"So, you are saying this is going to be out house?"

He simply nod again while I was giving him shock expression.

I was surprised actually.

"It's beautiful," was all I could say.

Not to mention the entrance, it's welcome with warmth and a beautiful fountain.

Well, I always hated big houses but this was Heaven.

"Yeobo, don't you want to go in and get a look?" Minho whispered in my ears. His right hand in my waist bringing me in.

"Ya!" I hit him playfully in his arm.

Then I was shocked when he carried me Bridal style.

"Ya! Ya! I can walk. Put me down!" I was shaking my leg but he was strong.

"Wow, you are heavy," He simply said like I was a wood or something.

"What! Oh, you are so going to get it!" I hit him in his arm again and again.

He carried me inside the door and closed it by kicking his leg.

"Ok, now for some house tour," He was still carrying me.

"I can walk on myself. So, put me down!" I was fidgeting my legs.

"Nah-ah. This is my way of touring," He had this playful way of talking to me. I wonder where he got that. He seems to be intimated.

He walked around the living room. Big and glassy. Beautifully arranged.

"This is where we are going to have our guest and our little fun having time,"

Then to the kitchen. Neat and lovely.

"This is where we will be having out cooking time," I chuckled at the way he said it. Cute.

Then to the second floor.

And then to the third.

Finally he open a large carved wooden door that lead to our bedroom.

"And this is where...............-"

"I know, I know," I know what he was going to say.

Hahaha.

"Well, since you know what we are going to do here...." He drag it in a low whisper.

I had a tingling feeling in my stomach.

He lay me down on the double size bed.

He came closer to my face and our nose touched.

He was looking into my eyes. That eyes that I will never look away when we look at each other.
I slowly took my hand to carve his jawline.

"Minho..."

"Yes?"

"You look........perfect," I blushed when I said that because I can feel the heat rushing in my cheeks.

He gave a faint chuckled and kiss my nose.

"I love you," I said into his ears.

He kissed my neck. It sent me a few fluttering moment in my heart.

Then he slowly brought his lips towards mine.

We have a kiss that will never break us apart.

"I love you too," He said.

And all that night they lay there and the one thing they share is love.

Chapter 64:

2011-12-05T19:51:00.000-08:00

Minho's POV

"So Mr.Choi Minho, can you please tell me now?" Chaerin turn to face me.

Her beautiful gaze is extraordinary when she smile childishly.

Those yes still looks the same.

Now, that she is closer to me.

I snaked my hands around her waist.

"Well, I....I came up with it,"

She look deep into my eyes.

"Thank you,"

"Thank you too," I said.

Without knowing we were moving around to the slow song that is playing in the background.

"How? How did you?"

"I talked to your parents, they agreed. My parents was eager. Your friends, Key kind a help me with it, until now I don't know how. Your dad recommended your aunt as a wedding planner and she did a great job here,"

"That explain it all!" She smiled more like a happy grin.

"Oh, Chaerin dear...so you must be our son's beautiful princess uh?" It was my mum.
She came with a plate in her hand.

"Haha..." She let out a small laugh. " Yes, eommani," She bowed to her.

"I guess he was right then,"

She walk away nodding us to continue what we were doing.

"I think we need to split for a while. I need to keep up with everyone," She said.

I gave a small peck on her cheek and she blushed.

She walk away with a slow elegance in herself.

"So, you were right! She did came!" Jonghyun came from behind, "Congratulation!" He shook my hand.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your POV

"Oh my, Chaerin! Chaerin!"Ariel was merely jumping up and down with Ginny tagging along her.

"Hey guys,"I went toward them.

"Congratulation!!" Ginny wished me.

"Ya! How come you didn't tell me anything about coming here?!" I look at them furiously.

"Well, long story short...Key-shi here contacted Daniel and told Minho's plan.Don't you see why he gave you a week of break?!"

Daniel joined the conversation with Hae Young.

"Remember that day...when we went to see them....yeah, that's when I gotto to know,"

So, this was all a plan! Without me knowing it.

"You are one lucky girl!" Hae Young clapped.

"You guys carry on, I 've got to see my parents,"

I saw a pretty young woman with my dad. Mum!

"Omma!"

"Chaerin, dear!"

I went straight into her open arm waiting for me to hug her.

"Omo! My dear little Chaerin is all grown up and getting married soon," she had her mother-ry tears.

"Omma, don't cry," I said but I was controlling my tears too.

"Erg-ermm..." Dad cleared his throat, "You made a right choice dear," I hugged him too.

Then I walk away from them.

Min and Key were together! Haha! I smiled at them being happy.

Then I saw Onew sitting alone with the camera in his hand still filming the audience.

I went towards him He didn't know I was walking towards him.

"Anyeong," I said and sat next to him.

"Oh, Chaerin!" He started filming me.

I pushed down the camera and asked him," How have you been, oppa!"

"Oppa...it's been a long time since I hear that," He laughed.

"Oh, I miss you so much," I told him the truth.

"Miss you too," He said.

"So, everyone is pairing up...how about you?" I asked him teasing.

"Uh?! Me...no, no,"

"Want me to find someone for you? Go on a blind date then!" I said excitedly trying to forget the words he said last time I met him.

He loved me once.

And I'm not sure now.

"How can I," I heard him say in a low whisper.

When I looked at him his face change into a cute dumb face he always had.

"Ya, you joking?! I'm not ready yet,"

"Hahahah! Aigoo, oppa, I was kidding too," I somehow felt like hugging him.

So I did.

I gave a friendly hug that soothed him.

"See you around!" I waved back and he started walking away filming.

The whole situation is so beautiful to digest.

I'm getting married.

It seems so new and yet familiar.

I saw Minho talking to my parents and I smiled.

Chapter 63: What?!

2011-12-04T02:16:00.000-08:00

You POV

Oh, my! What happen to the park over here?! Or am I in the wrong place?

It was here the last time I was here…

Where where is he?

I thought….Chaerin ah! You believed that one sentence he said and you came all the way here just because of him?!

He would be busy with his shootings or performing somewhere now.

There is a hall here?

Since when they built one?

No wait it’s covered with plastic wall.

They renovated it uh?

Maybe I should go inside.

"Knock knock!” I was at the door. It opened, "Hello?"

”You came,” the familiar voice. Minho held my hand.

Oh, he..he look really……..like an angel to me.

Aish! What am I thinking!

He led me into it.

It beautiful.

There’s Eiffel Tower painted and there was a row of foods. That’s a lot of food for two of us if we are eating that.

He was still holding my hand.

”Minho, what’s all this?” I asked suddenly feeling all strange.

"Can you do me a favor? Just have a seat here," Minho let me sit on a bench in the Paris setting in front of the camera that held by someone under it was. His face was covered but his position looks familiar.

Why is he hiding?

"What favor?" I was still clueless about what is happening.

"Please answer a question for me, truthfully from your heart. Can you do that?" Minho asked as he looked into my eyes. The camera guy giggled for a second. Blushing a bit I nodded.

”Minho…”

”Just answer my question,” My heart was beating as if he was going to ask me to say ‘would you marry me’

Without any further inteference by me he asked me.

"Chaerin, firstly, I'm sorry for not being able to be your perfect boyfriend and lead a romantic life that we hoped for due to my career. But I want to be with you, always. You are my life, my everything. Jung Chaerin, will you marry me?"Minho asked me, getting down on his knees and taking out the ring that had the words "eternally".

All I could do was blush and looked at him.

Frozen at my seat, I could answer him or I could understand his question at first!

I blushed more.
What?! Tell me I’m in a long dream that I’m not going to come out.

Doubtfully I pinched my thigh. “Ouch”

”Minho, when did you…”

”Will you take me as your beloved husband?”

”Minho…” I was trying to control my tears. Is he really doing this?

"Yes," I blurted out smiling just as radiant as the sun. Minho helped me wear the ring and gave me a kiss.

I kissed him back to. It was one slow, lip melting and fluttering kiss.

My mind was still not taking the situation.

I said YES! I said!! Oh my god!

"Minho, is he Onew and is he.... filming this??" I asked like a child. He laughed and nodded.

”Chaerin,” Onew said waving under the camera.

I smiled. It’s been a long time, Onew.

There were people hiding came out and clapped joyfully for us. I saw so many people and was probably in shock.

My parents! Wait my parents?! They came here?! Oh!

They came over and hugged me.

My in-laws also congratulated me. Everyone was smiling.

It was a very very happy scene.

"There's a small feast behind here!" My aunt came too! She called out and led the guest to the buffet. There were around 20 people, including family members and a few close friends.

Close friends?

”Heyya, girl! Miss me?” Min!

”Min!!!” I do miss her! “Oh my…you look the same to me!”

”Looks whose here too!” Min pointed out to a bunch of people looking at me.

Is that Ariel, Daniel, Hae Young, Ginny???!!

OMO! Omo! I need explanation.

How did they?!

”Later girl, later. I think your fiancé here will explain to you briefly,” She gave my hand to Minho was standing next to me.

Everyone enjoyed the small feast, having conversation and constantly congratulating both of us

"Our dear little Chaerin is getting married! We'll going to plan the best wedding anyone will ever have, maybe in a few months time. You better get ready for a busy one." My dad came over and told the others like he was announcing the obvious.

Oh, daddy! I miss him so much!

”So, Mr. Choi Minho can you please tell me now?” I turned to face him. I didn’t realize we were a little far away from the crowd.

chapter 62: Decision.

2011-12-01T02:57:00.000-08:00

Your POV

Oh what am I going to do?!!

Should I go?

Should I even take that in consideration?!

Chaerin-ah, you are a fully grown up now! Make a wise decision!

Right now, I could think of anything.

UH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate, totally hate this feeling.

My birthday is in a week time. I'm sure it will fly in time.

Think. Think.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Minho's POV

"You very sure she will come?" Jonghyun asked me while helping me fix the lights.

"Yes,"

"Hyung! The background, where do you want it to be?!" Taemin was with the Chaerin's little niece. They are drawing the background of an Eiffel tower.

"Right there," I showed him a perfect view.

He thumbs up.

"Manager hyung had done all the preparation for the upcoming conference," Onew hyung came up with a video camera on his hand.

"Ok, " I came down from the ladder.

"Our president wants to meet you for the final file up signing," Onew told me.

"Minho dear, how about the food? Do you want it to be a mix or korean food?" That was Chaerin's Aunt.

"Make it a mix then,"

I nod at Onew hyung.

Even though he looks happy and always smiling. I have this little feeling that he was still not over her yet.

Or he is already?!

"Key! Min! Love your art work! Keep up!" I shouted over to them who are doing flower decorations. Min and Key are secretly dating. Non of us knew until we found out one day!

They haven't hit any scandals yet. And I'm glad for that.

"Mum, dad. You guys came," I saw mum approaching me.

"Oh dear, of course I will! I have to see that princess of yours, I know you made a right decision," She kissed my forehead.

"Thank you mum,"

All I have to do is wait for her.

It took half of my career life to make this decision. Well everyone agreed on it too. It's now or never.

SHINee already has a strong base and fans are respecting our private life now after the incident 4 years ago. I guess they are settling.

I am already 26. So I know what I'm doing.

And I know my decision won't go wrong.

"What time exactly do you think?!" Jonghyun kept asking me doubtfully whether she will come or not.

"I told her I will be waiting for her,"

"Waiting for her at WHAT TIME??!!"

"Aish....just...let's just wait, ok?"

Sigh...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your POV

"Miss, take you for boarding Korean Airlines. Time of departure 9.00 pm and you will be reaching your destination around 6.00pm Korean time. Thank you, and I hope you will enjoy your ride," The pilot's talk was heard through the speaker.

I let out a long exhalation.

It's going to be a lonnngggg journey.

Well, I've made my decision. I'm going to Korea.

Yes, back to Korea.

I told Ariel I will be back in a week and Daniel had given me a week break. So I'm taking this chance to go.

I'm going there because I miss my dad and Ilhan and Min.

And Minho too.

"I.Will.Be.Waiting.For.You,"

His voice still rang in my ears.

The park, on my birthday. What is he thinking.

I hope I don't make a fool out of myself.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

The flight landed exactly at 6.00pm.

The fresh air brush over me.

Now I know how much I missed it the last time I was here.

"Thank you so much for coming to Korea," the Immigration Officer chopped my passport.

I smiled and thank him.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wei Seen's POV( Chaerin's cousin sister)

“Hello? Wake up girl, you have lots to do today,” someone whispered into my ear. I rubbed my eyes and lazily opened them. “Eh, wake up now!” It was Shirley calling me up.

It was a dream? I should have put earplugs! “I’m up. I’m up. Thanks Shirley,” She left the room, probably for breakfast.

After making my bed, I looked out the window. Winter has passed a few days ago and it’s spring. The sun is shining brightly. The garden is full of life. The flowers are starting to bloom and attracting butterflies. The old oak tree on the left corner of our garden is starting to weave itself a brand new outfit. “Perfect weather for the event.” I said to myself with a smile. After taking a bath and all dressed up, I went to my study table to take a look at the list I prepared two days ago.

"Why aren't you down for breakfast?" I turned around to see mother. "We have a lot to do and you're going to be my assistant. So make sure you're focus." She continued. I nodded and tucked the list into my bag.

After breakfast, I followed mother to the venue for the event. We are organizing an engagement party for mother's brother’s daughter Chaerin eonni. This was a special request from her boyfriend, Mr. Minho. I don't know much about this guy, but what I heard from mother was that he is an artiste working in a famous entertainment company. The venue was actually a park where Mr.Minho said it was near Chaerin’s house.

We rented it the park for the whole day and mother designed a setting according to a photo Mr. Minho gave her. The setting will be a replica of a small town in Paris, where they met after an incident and also after 4 years being apart. This is what I'm imagining of how they met...after 4 years…

Chaerin eonni studied and now working in Paris. On the other hand, Mr. Minho and their band were having a concert there. And they accidentally met each other after 4 years of separation! Oh, how I wish I was bumped into someone like that…

"Honey, please stop your blogging drafts for awhile and help me call the restaurant for the food," mother called out.

After the congirming the food, I went to see the replica setting at the park. There were around 10 people running around carrying boxes, ladders, and some of them were sweeping the floor! Mother was so cool! She was like a conductor, taking control of the staffs while making sure nothing is missed out. Even the members helped! The Paris setting was awesome, which was painted by one of the members of SHINee. The buildings were exactly like the ones in the photos, just enlarged. They even put cement-like pavements on the floor that was also in the photo. Behind the replicated setting was where Chaerin eonni’s and Mr. Minho's parents will be hiding. They have not arrived yet and the staffs were arranging a few tables with chairs. The plan was to have a small feast after Mr. Minho popped the question and Chaerin eonni's answer.

Soon, the caterer came and they started to set up a place for the food. I took a peek at what's been ordered and it was quite a colorful set of dishes, Korean and western fusion, it's all there.

"You're not going to steal a bite now, are you?" A deep voice came from behind me.

"Mr. Minho? Good morning! How do you feel? Are you nervous?" I asked excitedly.

Suddenly remembering what he asked, I answered "No".

Laughing, Mr. Minho said "I feel excited, nervous at the same time. It's been a few weeks since I saw her. Schedule is a bit tight lately. Tell me, from your opinion, what will..."

"Wei Seen, come here and help a bit with the flower arrangement over there. Oh, hello Mr. Minho. Sorry to cut into your conversation." mother pretty much shouted from the other end of the studio.

I scrambled to help with the flowers as Mr. Minho talked to mother. "I gotto to know from Chaerin’s friend that she took the flight at 9.ooam so she should be here in an hour, is that okay?" Minho asked mother, to which she smiled and nodded. He's parents and soon-to-be in-laws came into the studio, awed by the setting. Mother saw them and asked Mr. Minho to go have a seat with them and have a relaxed conversation. This was to keep Mr. Minho "unstressed". Mr. Jinki and Mr. Jonghyun will be the director and cameraman. They'll be recording when Mr. Minho is asking the question, but Chaerin eonni wouldn't know.

The ring was picked by Mr. Minho.

"She's here! Everyone, to your places!" someone shouted. Mother, the staffs and I were finishing up some parts, The guests were hiding where Chaerin eonni couldn't see them, Mr. Minho was standing near the door, waiting for Chaerin eonni. Everyone finished and went into hiding.

Chapter 61: Sudden.

2011-12-01T01:47:00.000-08:00

Your POV

Is that him?!

Oh, don't tell me I'm having hallucination!

He came closer to me. The more closer he was heading the more clearer I can see him.

It is him!

All my thought I've kept away flooding like a thunderstorm.

I had this crazy feel to....my tears were still sticking my face.

I ran towards him without thinking twice.

My lips melted over his warmth.

I kissed him. I really kissed him. I saw him trembled for a second and before he could do anything I pulled back and turn to run away.

The first thing that came to my mind after that sudden kiss I had was I need to take a taxi or not I'm totally going to embarrassed.

Wait, I had no money to take one! I spent my last money I had with me to buy a cloth. And now my purse is empty!

Oh, no! Chaerin you dump girl! You have a lot of guts to do that but you never think!

Aish!

Walk, walk, faster.

I wasn't looking anywhere else.

I bet he is coming after me.

"Wait you haven't give me a chance to pay you back what you gave me," I know it's him. He pulled me around facing him.

And he kissed me back.

I tried to pull back but he was strong enough to pull me in.

Finally I manage to get out of his grip.

"Minho-shi.....what are you doing? You...you shouldn't be here at time like this," I told his furiously. I can feel my face turning red.

"I don't care what you are going to say just to avoid me but I think we are destined to be together. Still remember your promise?"

How can I forget that?

Oh, what am I thinking!

Am I falling for him again? Or was I always in love with him all these days?!

H ow could I do this?

I turn around started walking away.

"You have to come back to Korea,"

I slowed down my pace after hearing that.

"Why should I? I have everything I want here," I stop nut I did not turn around. I can' t dare to face him.

"No you don't. I saw you on a poster in a mall. So were the others. Onew was happy to see you. Our memories. Memories we made together. You don't have that here. And also someone who has been waiting for you,"

"Minho-shi, go back-"

"Stop calling me that. What am I to you? A stranger?!"

"I can't do that! You and I are different. You have your own life to go on with and I have mine too,"

I can feel his frustration from his voice.

"I will be waiting for you at the same park near your house when you stayed at Korea on your upcoming birthday next week. I want you to be there,"

What??!!

What is he talking?

"Look, I'm not coming and I don't want any silly scandal to rise up again because of me. Please don't expect anything from me," AISH!!! Jung Chaerin what the heck are you talking?!

"I. Will. Be. Waiting . For.You," His final word.

I sigh.

"I-" I turn around but he wasn't there anymore.

"I.Will.Be.Waiting.For.You," It's stuck in my head.

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Chapter 60:

2011-11-29T00:37:00.000-08:00

"Wow! Wow! Oh, wow!!! This was one super awesome concert I've ever seen in my life!" Ariel was still jumping excitedly even after the concert ended.

"I bet this was your first concert you've ever seen," I followed her behind with the crowd pushing us apart to go out too.

"Yes! yes! Well I've been to Musicals but like Kpop concert is my first and it was Daebak!"

"Ok, Ok,! I'm hungry! You better treat me since you pulled me all the way here," I had to sleep early since I had to do something at the studio tomorrow with Daniel.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Minho's POV

"Yeah! Guys, did you have fun?" Jonghyun hyung was asking us when we were at the backstage room.

"Of course!!" Key clapped his hands.

"Guys,guys, listen take some good rest today after this and get ready tomorrow. You all have photo shoot tomorrow at Paris Studio," Manager hyung gave us our room key.

"Ya, Mihno-ah, what's wrong with you today? You seems to be out of this place," Manager hyung caught me.

"Mianhe,"

We were drove to our hotel and Onew and I were in a room and the other three another room.

"Did you saw her?" Onew talked out of the sudden.

"Uh?" He knows?

"I know you saw her. You were never like this before and all the sudden you changed/ You saw her right?"

"How did you..."

"I know everything about my brother,"

"I did.Well she looked like her. So I wasn't sure,"

"I saw her too,"

I couldn't speak. I gave a long look at Onew and went to the bathroom.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your POV

"Hey Daniel, where are you?" I was in front of the studio and there were a lot of bodyguards?!

"Oh, Chaerin dear you are here! Wait I'll come out.There's a strict checking today. Someone special is here,"

"Oh, really. I'm curious.They are not letting me in!"

"I'm here," I saw Daniel waving at me.

He brought me in without any checking.

"Can I see who are the special guest today?!"

"No,"

"What?!"

"We have stuff to do,"

"Aish! I just want to take a peak only!"

"later then. Finish this first,"

He gave me some editing stuff to do on a wedding dress for a bride's photo shoot.

"Urhg!"

I just have to mend a little here and there. He you go and beautiful dress to present.

"Daniel? Daniel?!" No one's responding.

Maybe I should take a walk to the guest studio...

I hang the dress and went creeping out slowly.

"Hey, are you done?" AHH!

"Daniel! Stop freaking me out!" He came from behind.

"Sorry," He gave a grin.

"Can I go now?" I gave a puppy look.

"Ok ok, follow me. I wanted to see who is it too,"

I was super excited. who could it be? Taylor Swift? Err...Fergie? Pink? Or some France actor or actress?!

"Here we go," Daniel open the studio door.

"Who could it be?!"

There were a lot of camera crews, lighting's and stuff like how they modelled me.

"Isn't that the Korean group that had a concert yesterday?"

I took a closer look and I saw them.

Jumping up and down giving photo shots to the camera.

My heart flutters all the sudden.

"Come on let's have a closer look,"

"Me?! Oh no, I'm not coming," I was walking back.

"Ya! You should know them right.You were in Korea last time.This is your chance to get a closer look,"

"I...I....I got...er...I have work to do now. See you next time," I took one last look at Minho who eventually exchange eye contact with me and I went out of the door.

Deep breath in and out.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Minho's POV

"Hey hyung! Isn't that Chaerin?!" We were in Paris mall for a small shopping for our own self.

Fans do recognise us so we have to keep low.

"Chaerin in a big poster?!" Key saw the picture too.

I couldn't recognise her for the first look but she do have her features.

He eyes, her sharp nose...

I took a long stare at her until someone waved at my face.

"Hyung!"

"Come on let's go,"

"Hyung...can I see her? I mean I feel like talking to her. I don't know why but I feel down all the sudden,"

"Minho-ah, you crazy? You can't just go after her like that. Look, fans will be stalking you or her if you get caught. I know how you feel but if manager hyung found out, you are doomed,"

I kept quiet. What he said was true.

@@@@@@@

We were having photo shoot now.

"Hyung jump jump," Taemin was ordering me.

"Peace!" we made a peace sign.

"Cut!" We went and take a look at out picture.

"Nice!"

"Another one," Onew and the others were in a row and we jump.

Is that Chaerin?!

Chaerin with a guy?

What is she doing here?!

Is that really her?!

She was struggling with the guy and she back away to the door.

She took one last look at me and she was out.

I clear my thought away immediately.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your POV

Time do fly fast.

It's already past 10.00pm and I'm still walking at the dark streets taking some fresh air.

These days something is happening to me.

Something I can't imagine will happen.

I met Minho and the others after 4 years.

My first and forever love.

Tears rolled down unknowingly.

And I started crying.

"It's been a long time," I heard a voice.

"Min..Minho-shi," I saw him standing in front.

Chapter 59:

2011-11-24T23:25:00.000-08:00

I woke up lazily today when the phone ring woke me up.

I had no choice but to follow Ariel to the concert.

She called this morning after she knows that SHINee are coming to Paris for a concert.

*Flashback

*Phone rings*

"Emm....he-hello," Who is calling at this time and day!

"Chaerin-ah!" Ariel?!

"Ariel?! Anything wrong?"

"Nope. Nothings wrong but SHINee IS COMING TO PARIS!!! OH MY GOD, DO YOU KNOW THAT?!" She merely screamed at my ears.

"Hm-emm...ya...I know," I was still moving around my bed.

"How come you never told me?!"

"You didn't ask me,"

"Aish! Ok, Ok, I bought two tickets already through online! I asked Ginny out first but she had some stuff with her family. So come over to my house at 5.00pm ok. I'm driving.Let's go,"

That woke me up fully from my sleepiness.

What did she just say?!

Me, go with her?!

"Bwoh?! I mean what?! Ariel...i need time for some..err..." Well I really got nothing to do actually.It's Saturday and everyone in Paris is at home.

"I know you got nothing to do.It's Saturday," she was convincing me.

"Ariel, I'm really tired you know,"

"No, no, no! You are coming! This is like once in a life time opportunity!"

I scratched my head. I know something like this will happen!

My heart is fluttering so much.

I hate this.

*End Of Flashback.

So I agreed on going with her. I am not going to make any eye contact with them. I hope they don't recognise me.

Like seriously. After what I did....very bad...

Oh, but thinking of him makes me miss him so much.

Minho.

And Onew. Cute leader.

I went over to my wardrobe and took out my old purse.

I opened it.

And there it was a small picture of me and Minho. Smiling at the camera.

I never wanted to throw it away this tiny picture and I never looked at it once after I came here.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh! I'm super excited to see them that I'm scared that I will lose my hold on the steering!"

"What?! Ariel, you better let me drive then. I don't want to die early," I was really scared by her usual driving already. She drive like a mad person without holding the steering or with one handed.

Gosh....

"Nah...i can still handle it," she deny it.

Sigh.

When we reach the mall.

It was overcrowded with fans with banners, posters, towels around them, video cameras. Wow.

Ariel found a parking space and we got out.

I guess we have to line up this longggggg queue to go in.

Ariel pull me towards the queue but she didn't line up.

Uh?!

"Er....Ariel.Are you blind?! Can't you see the queue standing?"

"Hahaha! I didn't tell you that I bought special tickets right?" she was pulling me while talking.

"What??!!! Special tickets?! Oh, no...so we get special seats?!"

"Duh..of course! Come on!"

Oh-no,oh-no,no,no!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After some security checks we are allowed to go in and sit.

The boys are not here yet.

Some one came on stage.

She was speaking in France language to which I quite understood since I took up the lesson for 3 years.

I think she is the temporary MC until SHINee come in.

She was telling the obvious. Ask us to calm down, take your seat and cheer for the boys.

All the fans screamed!!!!!!!!

Ariel too!

Well, I clapped my hands and smiled.

And they appeared form underneath the stage. The stage is in a star-shape, so all of them appeared from each corner.

Ariel and I are at one of the corners.

And guess what...It was Minho.

I quickly cover myself with my scarf and beanie.

I keep on clapping my hand and I was happy to see him.

He look......

Exactly like his name the Charismatic Rapper.

"Oh my God! Chaerin, chaerin! I'm so happy!!!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Minho's POV

I can hear the fans screaming and cheering us.

As usual it gives us strength to perform well.

Paris is such a nice place, nice people and great fans.

"Hey, everyone ready?!" Onew came over with a mic in his hand.

"Yes!" We all cheered and took our position.

The stage moves up and all I see was crowds.

I was at the edge of the stage.

And I saw Chaerin?!

Wait, Chaerin? Is that her? That girl, she looks like Chaerin.

All my brain cells started to rush over.

The other members started to sing and I forgot my line for a second.

She was clapping and smiling.

Could it be her?

Key came closer and whispered," Ya! sing please," then he smiled and danced away.

I started singing after that.

I swear I saw her.

It should be her.

When Manager hyung said we are going to have a concert in Paris, the first person that came to my mind was her, Chaerin.

All this years. I been keeping to her words. "Goodbye.We'll meet again when there is destiny, Minho," She looked into my eyes.

Chapter 58: Meet Again.

2011-11-24T02:24:00.000-08:00

Your Pov

What a fun day today.I had to come up with a new design for a bride! Wow my dream!

It's getting late I better get going I have to cook for dinner.Should I? Or should I just buy something? Emm...

I will just buy! Lazy me..

I was walking pass a big screen roller where they advertise new events or news.

Something caught my attention in the middle of my walk.

I stood there frozen staring at the screen.

SHINee World Concert in Paris.

All five of them.

They look so different from the last time I saw them.

Taemin,Jonghyun,Key.

Onew..

And..

Minho.

All the memories that was deep behind my mind is pushing it's gate to come out.Flooding itself like a high tide wave.

The face,the eyes,the touch, the feel...

SHINee's First Ever Concert in Paris.

Sure you don't want to miss!

Hurry up get your tickets at Paris mall!

Day: Saturday

Time"6.00pm

I shook my head hard enough to clear my thoughts which made me feel dizzy.

I getting dark I gotta go.

*Flashback.

"Goodbye.We'll meet again when there is destiny,Minho," I look into his eyes

"Saranghaeyo," he whispered.

*End

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I went back to my room and shut my door.

What...wha..why..?

Does he still remember me after what I've done to him?

Tch. what am I thinking?

He is a famous artist! Of course he will be too busy with his schedule and career.

How can he remember a stupid girl who dump him 4 years ago!

Chaerin-ah, what's wrong with you?!!

Why am I suddenly getting all emeotional?

I thought I was over him?

Stop having ecpectations Chaerin!

Ariel will sure go for the concert,she is a big fan of them.

I never told anyone that I knew them.

When they asked about my past life, I just say I came from Australia went to Korea and stayed with my dad for nearly a year and half

Ariel and I used to talk about them when she gets excited but that time I was just normal..no feeling..why now?

Am I scared?

Or I just don't want to see him?

Or...

Do I want to see him?

Chapter 57: After 4 Years.

2011-11-18T21:44:00.000-08:00

"Hahaha!" We were all laughing at Ariel's joke.

She is one funny, witty girl!

"Wait, don't tell me you had a crush on him~"

"No! Seriously me? Oh!" I denied.

They were teasing me with one of my batch colleague who chases me everyday.

I never know people in Paris like K-pop too. They are like in a different world when they talk about it.We started with songs to dramas and now gosip-ing!

"Hahaha! Ariel stop it, calm down. You are making me laugh non-stop," It was Ginny.

"Ya, right! The club's clown!" Garret said laughing at the same time.

"I thought that was me?" I said.

"Both of you then!" Ginny agreed.

We are in Ginny's birthday gathering among our little group of friends.

Well, it's only five of us.

Me, Ariel,Ginny, Garret, and Hae Young a Korean friend I met in college too besides me.

We all studied Fashion Design together and now I am a so called Newbie Fashion Designer with the others.We work in a team.

*(Phone rings)

"Excuse me for a while guys," I stood up went a little further from them.

"Hello?"

"Chaerin!"

"Yes, Daniel?"

"Yup.Err..Sorry Chaerin I know you asked for a leave but I really need you here.The assistant Manager for L'Oreal is here and he wants a model for their new product their going to launch soon,"

I sigh...

"Ok. what time?"

"Around 6.00pm," I can see he really needs me.

"Ok....ok....I will be there,"

"Oh, thank goodness!" He was happy for it.

"Hahaha..ok, Daniel see you later then,"

"Bye,"

*End of phone call.

"Who was that?" Ariel asked.

"Daniel,"

"Oh, no...not again?!" It was Ginny.

"Yes, again. It's L'Oreal,"

"Oh! L'Oreal!" All of them talk at once.

"Ooohhh..you are gonna look awesome in the next L'Oreal poster!" Ginny reminds me of Min my long ago friend when I leaved in Korea, always bubbly and a blurry queen too!

Ariel, well why do I always think she has a little same personality as me?!

Garret, his hot and he can be funny too! His Ginny's boyfriend.

Hae Young seems to have a crush on Ariel but he never revealed it. Pathetic guy...hahaha!

"Ok, guys..It's already 5.30pm. I have to go now, sorry," I stood up and went towards the door.

"She is going to be in another poster in Paris mall again!" Hae Young said.

I stuck out my tongue.

So...life in Paris is better than I thought.

Warm weather, nice scenary, great friends. What else do I want?

I came here four years ago and it seems like decades for me.Everything is so familiar here.

I had achieve what I always want. Fashion Design. And also got a part time job as a Model.

My dad visits me sometimes and Mum always calls up. She never miss a single day!

I live in a small rented apartment.Good for two I guess.

Chapter 56:

2011-09-19T05:15:00.000-07:00

Is he already here?

I was walking up the mountain stairs.

It's still quite dark.

The sun haven't rise yet.

The sky still looks pale blue.

I'm meeting Minho for the last time.

Then, that's it.

It took me all my courage to make a decision to meet up with him.

At least I have to say I'm leaving.

I told Onew oppa to bring him to Mount Wonju where we met last time.

Who would be awake so early in the morning uh?

I had no choice.

My flight is at 7.00am and i have to be there by 6.00 at least.

While I was climbing, I received a text message.

Onew: He's up already.

Me:Thank you

Onew: Meet me down after talking to him.

There was not even a single person on the way.

I 'm all alone.

Then I saw someone.

It must be him then.

He was wearing a scarf around his neck with a thick jacket.

It's really cold actually in the morning.

He saw me coming.

It's really awkward to talk to him like usual after this situation.

I just bowed to him.

He just stared at me.

Oh, those eyes! Could you please don't do that! I was talking to myself.

"I.....I'm leaving," was all I could say.

He didn't talk back.

All the sudden, I fell pain everywhere in my body.

My heart, my head, my mouth.

It's because of the tears I'm trying to control.

"Miahne," I said.

"Why?"

I have to be cold heart.

I have to be cold.

I didn't talk back.

Let him do anything he wants.

He can scold me, hate me as much as he want now.

"Waeyo?Why! Why!" He asked back.

I smiled.

This is insane. Seriously!

"Thank you," thank you? something in me made me say it.

He frown at me.

"Be who you are, show others your talent and shine as your group. Ok," What am I talking!

He was just looking at me.

I'm not going to answer his question. It's too much.

That stare.

What is he thinking? I can't read his mind but I can tell from his expression he is not in good condition.

Both of us.

It's for his good.

"You decided to leave for my good?" His voice made me go red.

I just nod my head.

"Mianhe," I couldn't take it anymore. I promise myself not to cry but I was crying already.

"Aniyo, please. I thought we can make through anything? We promised, remember?"

"I know but, I also told you when time goes on, it might change.That promise is unavailable now," I was looking in his eyes.

Those yes that I will never forget even where I go. The eyes that changed my life into this.

"No,"There was tears in his.

"Yes," I said merely a whisper.

"So, that's it? You are just going to leave?"

I took a deep breath and went closer to him.

I 've done this so many times to him.

But now, it's seems like the first and last time.

A little more closer to him.

He stood there still.

I removed his scarf from his face.

I cupped his cheek by my hand.

I can feel the heat in his body.

Our lips touched.

I kissed him.

This time with passion, full of sincerity and love that I will never forget.

He was expecting it. He kissed back too.

His hands snaked around my waist and pulled me closer.

I kiss him deeply. Our love is shared through this one kiss.

I pulled back.

I had to stop. He didn't want to let me go but I have to.

I know if I continue, I will never stop.

I dried my tears.

"Goodbye.We'll meet again when there is destiny, Minho,"

"Sarangeyo," He whispered.

"I love you too,"

Now all I need is the courage to walk away.

I looked into his eyes for one last time and turned away.

But something was preventing me.

I know it's my heart and

A string from my clothe is rolled up with his jackets button.

He untie the know and hold my wrist.

I'm sorry.

I pulled my hand away and walk away leaving him behind me.

It's all my fault.

I shouldn't have sat next to you,You shouldn't have helped me,

I shouldn't have looked into your eyes,

I shouldn't have joined the show,

I shouldn't have fallen for you,

I should have...I should have...

Tears rolled down non stop.

Down the Mountain, Onew oppa was waiting for me.

Oh, Onew.

I 'm going to miss you too.

I ran towards him and his hands were open receiving my hug.

I merely sob on him.

But all he did was caress my hair until I stop.

"Sorry,"

"Gwenchana," He told me still looking worried.

His shirt was nearly soaked with my tears.He ignored it.

"You really sure about this?"

I simply nod.

Bye.

Bye bye....

Chapter 55:

2011-09-18T19:26:00.000-07:00

Your POV

Minho again.

Ugh!

My phone rings again.

*Calling: Minho.

Onew oppa must have told him.

Should I pick or not?

I get atleast 10 missed calls from him everyday.

I press he 'ignore' button again.

I don't even dare to talk to him in this situation.

I've been so busy this week with my final exam and with the documents I have to settl brfore leaving to Paris.

College application forms, entrance exam,approval letter from my former school.

It's hard not to think about the memories I will be leaving behind.

It's hard not to think about him.

I miss him so much.

Minho.

Only tears came out of me.

Cry.

Cry.

Cry.

Cry all you can, Chaerin.

Cry until there's no tears left to cry anymore.

So that when yo face him, you will have a cold heart.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Graduation Day.

So many people?! Wow.

All of them are graduating in the same year?

I thought it was only our batch.

I'm siting in the first row as arranged by the teachers with some of my classmates.

Min is sitting in the second row right behind me.

She's ben grinning for the whole day.

"Omo, Chaerin, finally we are draduating!" she whispered in my ear.

The school prncipal is still giving his speech.

I'm so proud of you, I hope you will achieve success in future...blah,blah,blah...(not listening at all)

All the students' parents are seated behind the students seating.

Dad came with Ilhan.

Mum couldn't make it to come over becasue of her work.

"Now, let's announce the best scored student," the Master of Ceremony was talking.

Everyone kept quiet.

"Best results of the year...wow..we have two person here.Ok, first, it's none other than Choi Minho!" There was a loud applaud for him.

I was shocked not because he was the best scored but he came!

I clapped with my eyes wide with shocked.

"Chaerin, it's Minho!" Min was clapping too.

So all of them are here?

Shouldn't be right?

Oh, I hope he don't see me.

Oh, no.

I don't dare to face him so looked down.

He took the certificate and gave a small talk.

"Ok, now the second best goes too..." I dont even know who she is.It's a girl.

She looks more nerdy than me.

Everyone clapped for her too.

I had to look up.

Then my eyes met Minho's for a second and looked away.

He was staring at me.

Oh, those eyes.

Please stop looking at me!

One by one all the other students name was called to get their certificate.

I was not in the top scored student.

I'm just an average scored student.

I went up on stage and took my certificate.

I saw my dad from far away looking at me.

Min was clapping for me too.

I bowed to the principal and took a picture.

Then the MC wanted all the students to take a group picture.

I saw Minho walking up the stage.

Oh, no, no,no.

I should stand somewhere far.

Somewhere at the edge.

"Ya, Chaerin, where are you going?"Min grabbed my hand.

"Ya,ya,let me go.I'm not going to stand in front,"

"Oh, come on!"

She pulled me to the middle.

Minho was just two to tree people away.

I'm not looking at him.

"Chaerin, you sure you are not going to talk to him?" Min know what happened. I told her the next day after I talked to Onew.

I just nod my head.

After the photo session ended, all the students scattered around talking to each other and congratulating.

I went down the stage to see my father.

Then I heard a voice calling me.

"Chaerin,"

I know who it belongs to.

So I ignored it and walk.

"Chaerin, wait!" he held my hand this time.

I look at him one last time and pulled my hand and ran away into the crowd towards my dad.

He never came after me.

Oh, stupid me!

Stupid me!

Stupid, stupid!

Pabo!

I was scolding myself.

"Appa!" I saw him. I gave him the certificate. Then he looked behind me.

Did he saw him?!

"Noona, chukhahamnida!"

"gomavo, Ilhan,"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Flight

*KRINGGGGG!!!

Oh, alarm!

It's 4.00am already?!

Uh!

I woke up from my bed.

And all I could see is bags in front of me.

My clothes.

Yes.

Today is the day I'm leaving to

Paris.

Chapter 54:

2011-09-10T00:52:00.000-07:00

Minho's POV

where is Onew hyung?

He has never been late like this before for dinner.

He has been actingso weirdly this days.

Am I not realising anything.

Then I heard my room door open.

Onew hyung came in.

He was totally soaked in the rain.

"Hyung, you got wet in the rain?!"

He didn't answer me. He just came in quietly and dump his jacket into the basket, took his towel and went out.

What? Is he mad at me?

"Hyung, Lee Joon hyung called me just now," that woke him up.He stopped where he was heading.

I know he never went out with Lee Joon hyung.

He lied.

But why?

"He said you weren't with him," Lee Joon hyung called me to ask about my status.That's how I get to know that Onew hyung is not with him.

"Where did you go?"

He continue walking to the bathroom.

Was it too personal? But he never hide anything from us.

Why now?

I went back to my room and sat on my bed.

Key,Jonghyun and Taemin slept early.

I tried calling Chaerin but she didn't pick her phone.

She must be busy.

I miss he so much.

It's been more than a week since I last saw her or talk to her.

Those eyes, smile, he innocency.

I was smiling.

I took a paperband my mind flowed with so many words..

All my eyes can see is your figure,

This is the confession you've been waiting for,

Show me your eyes,

I will give you my love,

I like you so much, I'll love you forever..

Onew hyung came in when I wrote the last line.

"Hyung,"

"Minho,Wait.I'll tell you but please could you just give me some time," his voice sounds soar.

I respect him. So I kept quiet.

He went out of them room.

After several minute, I heard something like a glass broken into pieces.

"Hyung!" I heard Taemin too.

It was from the kitchen.

I ran out quickly.

Onew hyung was staring at the floor.

And Taemin was standing at the kitchen entrance.

"Taemin, what-" I saw it already.

Glass broken into pieces and water spilled.

I looked at Onew hyung who stoodthere frozen.

"Hyung,move," I pushed him aside and took a broom and dustbin to throw it.

Taemin came in to help.

"Hyung, you alright?" Taemin was worried.

Onew hyung just nod his head.

"Sorry,"

"Taemin you go back to sleep. I will take care," I told him. Taemin went back to his room.

No one injured. The floor is clean now.

Onew hyung was still not himself.

I started walking out of the kitchen, that's when Onew hyung called me.

"Minho,"

"Ne, hyung?"

"I...I met Chaerin just now,"

"Chaerin?You met her?Where?" I was confuse.

"She....she..wants you to let go of her,"

Uh?

What?

Did I heard right?

"Hyung, what did you just say?Let go?Let go of Chaerin?" A lot of things ran in my mind. Is he pranking me? Is there a hidden camera?

"Minho I'm sorry. I'm only the messenger. I just tell what she ask me to to.She is going to Paris next week after graduation.She wants you to forget her and move on,"Onew hyung's eyes was red and he was shivering.

This doesn't seem like a prank at all.

I was half frozen from what he just said.

My fist tighten and I was getting angry. I don't want to listen to Onew hyung anymore.

Why is she going t oParis? Why the sudden decision? I thought we settled it already?

What is going on?

Then I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"If you really love her, let her go.She is doing this for your good.She loves you and only you.There is always ups and down.Understanding is most important," He told me looking into my eyes.

"Hyung, stop talking non sense!" I was getting angry for nothing.

"I'm not talking non sense," He said it in a low voice.

"Why can't she just tell me herself? Why?why?"

He didn't answer that but just walked away from me leaving me thinking.

Confused.

I can't think.

I dialled Chaerin.

It rings but nobody picked.

I slam my hand in the kitchen counter out of confussion.

Let her go?

How? I can't just simply do that!

She is doing it for my good?What good does that bring me?

Anger and sadness filled me.

I love her.

I ws controlling myself from bursting.

I tighten my fist.

Calm down. Calm down.

Talk to Chaerin first.

Why let her go? If she is going to Paris to continue her studies, she can still come back after that right?

My brain is totally scattered.

I'm so confused in my mind and heart.

Chapter 53:

2011-08-26T01:56:00.000-07:00

Your POV

"I have to leave. I hope this will settle SHINee up,"

"Chaerin?! What are you talking about?!" he raised his voice a little.

I kept quiet.

I couldn't find anything to talk back in front of him.

"Are you going to leave him like that?"

I know he is talking about Minho.

"Take ca-care of-of Minho for me. I know you w-will," my voice trembling.

"Leave him like how Soojin did?"

That made my tears I was controlling to flow out.

I'm not like her!

NO.

"No.You have to understand me.I have no other choice. I have to leave.I can't stay long here.This issue will become bigger,"

"So, leaving is your decision?"

I looked at his eyes. But I can't looked at it any longer.

"You think by leaving, you can actually settle this problem?" He was frowning at me.

I kept quiet. Tears flow out automatically.

"How can this heal Minho's already hurt heart? You are just making it worse. He is already hurt by his past and now you? Do you think Minho will be fine with it? And do you think he will let you go?"

"NO.NO.NO!" I can't stand what he was telling me. I started sobbing quietly.

I took his hand with both my hands and told him, "Please,you have to pursue him. He have to let me go. Help me. Can you?"

He was shocked by my reaction.

He shook his head and took away his hand from me.

Then he stared at me for a long time. "I don't want to make the same mistake I did last time.But I will do it for you," He told me.

"Thank you," I took a step and hugged him. He was a little shocked and hesitated to hug.

Then a thunder stroked. It's going to rain soon.

We both looked up at the sky.

Then I look down at him.

I'm going to miss you too. if only I have the strength to tell you that, Jinki oppa.

Thank you so much for all you have done to me.

"I'm sorry.I'm sorry I didn't saw you.I was blinded somehow,"

"It's not you fault, It's mine,"

"If we had another life.I promise I will give you a chance," He looked surprised.

I pulled away from the hug.

It's already started drizzling.I took out the jacket and gave it to him.

Then I started walking away.

Chapter 52:

2011-08-25T05:44:00.000-07:00

Your POV

It was already 3.00pm.

Oh, time fly so fast!

I was sitting at the dining table clicking through pictures I've taken with Minho in my phone.

Unknowingly I was smiling at those beautiful, sweet moment that we've been together.

^_^

Click, click,click....

Am I going to leave all these memories behind?

Am I going to forget all those unforgettable days I had?

It's all for his good!

How am I suppose to forget all these memories that we have created together?!

These are all precious to me.

Chaerin, you HAVE TO!

I hesitated for a while but I moved my finger to click

DELETE BUTTON.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Onew's POV

"Hyung, look, Onew hyung had bought you a clothe," Taemin opened up the plastic bag and showed a T-shirt to Key.

"Awww...that's so cool," Key took the shirt and wore it over him.

I was waiting for his comment.

"Nice!"

"Hyung, hyung, here this is for you two," Taemin passed two paper bag to Minho and Jonghyun.

"Thanks," both of them wished.

Minho has been busy these days in variety shows and Jonghyun lost his voice from vocal training.

Then I took a glance at the clock on the wall.

Oh!

It's 3.50pm!

I should get going now.

But what excuse could I give them?

Er.....

"Guys, I'm going out with Joon. So I gotta go now, see you guys later," I told and stood up not wanting to answer any of their questions.

"Hyung, say Hi to him," Minho told.

I just nod my head and put over my jacket, cap and sunglasses from the hang stand and went out of the dorm.

Mount Wonju?

Why there?

I walked to the nearest taxi stand.

A taxi came in but it was a hapseung. So I ignored it.

I waited for the next one.

But none came!

Come on, how come there's not even a single taxi?!

Finally I saw one again.

Yes, it's empty.

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Your POV

Wow. This is so relaxing.

I took a deep breath in and out.

The fresh air, the breeze, its so refreshing.

I was sitting on a bench at the highest peak of the mountain.

There's less tourist here since it's not school holidays.

Lucky.

My phone beep.

A message.

From: Onew

Where are you?

I replied,

To: Onew

The top peak.

From: Onew

I'll be there.

Oh, he's coming.Why is my heart beating so fast?!

It's like....it's like...

I don't know.

I felt something else too.

Oh, no!

Not this feeling again.

From far I saw a figure walking towards me. he waved at me.

Onew oppa!

I waved back.

I stood up and greeted him.

"Anyeong," I bowed.

"Ya, Chaerin-ah, what's with the formality?"I chuckled at his silliness.

We stood there for a while admiring the beautiful scenery from the top view of the Mount Wonju.

"So..." he started.

My heart beats. Then something striked me to speak it out.

"Jinki oppa, are you hiding something from me?"

He stared at me for a moment.

I can see there's something he his hiding in his eyes.

"You can't keep it to yourself for a long time. You have to tell it out,"

"Chaerin, what's your point?" he asked, now, looking at me anymore.

Uh! What am I thinking!

"Jinki oppa, I'm going to ask you something, you have to answer me honestly. Can you?"

He nod his head.

I went closer to him. It took my all my courage to do this.

"Jinki oppa...do....you....love me," I stuttered so much! My heart beats like I'm a a race.

"No. Not anymore,"

Goosebumps went all over me.

So, he did loved me.

And I was blinded.

"I...I'm...," It's just wouldn't come out of my mouth.

He chuckled. I frowned at him.

"Were trying to say sorry? You don't have to. You didn't do anything wrong. It was me. My mistake to fall for you even though I know you were with someone and that someone was one of my best friend more like brother to me. I still did and now, I'm not sure whether I'm regretting it or not,"

I. was. speechless.

I was frozen too.

The cold breeze made it even worse.

Then I felt something warm and cozy all over me.

There was a jacket on me.

"Jinki oppa,"

He smiled.

"This could make you feel warmer. Have it,"

I looked at him. His eyes.

Then I remembered something.

The letter.

I took out a letter from my bag.

My hand was trembling.

Was it because I was nervous or is it the cold?

I handed it to him.

He took it from me.

"Read it when I'm not around,"

He take a look at the cover and slide it into his pocket.

"Jinki oppa, I have to tell you something el..else..also,"

He looked at me.

"I...I'm leaving to Pa..Paris after graduation next week," why am I stuttering so much suddenly?!

His eyes gone wide.

"Buya!!?"

Chapter 51: Meet

2011-08-22T06:00:00.000-07:00

Your POV

I woke up early in the morning today.

I couldn't sleep well yesterday.

The first person who came into my mind was Onew.

I got to see him.

But how?!

I shouldn't let Minho know about this.

Should I call him?

Should I message him?

How am I going suppose to tell him when I meet up with him?!

Oh, I'm so nervous.

I have to tell him!

I don't think I can face Minho.

It will only make him and me break into scattered pieces.

I walked around my room thinking and thinking.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

I took a deep breath and took my phone which was on the dressing table.

Dialled Onew.

It rings

Rings.

And rings

But nobody answered the call.

URGH!

Pick the phone!

Onew oppa!

I called again.

Then finally someone picked it.

"Yoboseyo,"

"Anyeong, Jinki oppa?"

"Ne, Chaerin?"

Oh, it's him.

"Jinki oppa, can you I talk to you?"

"Uh? Sure, what is it Chaerin?"

"Emm, well, can we meet at Mt. Wonju later at 4.00 pm? Oh! Wait, Jinki oppa are you having any schedules today?" SHOOT I almost forgot to ask that!

"Aniyo.I'll be there at 4.oo pm. See you later," He immediately hung up.

What's the rush?!

I looked at my phone.

Then I sighed.

You have no choice Chaerin!

You have to tell him.

But won't he feel hurt too?

He cares for me too.

As I told you, Chaerin, you have NO CHOICE!

I looked at myself for one last time in the mirror and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Onew's POV

"Hyung, your phone is ringing!" Taemin shouted.

"Wait, wait, I'm coming,"

"Oh, hyung, palli! I can't stand any longer," He keep on knocking the bathroom door.

"Ok, ok, I'm done," I took a long shower with hot water.

It's really relaxing.

I tied my towel around me and unlocked the door.

The next second, Taemin dashed in and pushed me out and shut the door behind.

It was just a blink of an eye.

I went to my room and saw the missed call.

It was

Chaerin?!

Why did she called?

A lot things ran in my mind.

Should I call her back?

Then my phone ring again.

Chaerin.

"Yoboseyo," my heart beats.

"Anyeong, Jinki oppa?"

"Ne, Chaerin?" Speaking out her name only gives me a weird feeling.

"Jinki oppa, can I talk to you?"

Uh? She wants to talk to me?

"Uh? Sure, what is it Chaerin?"

"Emm, well, can we meet at Mt. Wonju later at 4.00 pm? Oh! Wait, Jinki oppa are you having any schedules today?"

Meet at Mt. Wonju?

What's happening?

I promise to bring Taemin out to buy clothes...

"Aniyo. I'll be there at 4.00pm. See you later," I hung up the phone immediately.

I feel like I have no courage to face her at all.

I promise myself to forget about her and not to fall for her but I was careless.

And she still have to come in my way!

What time is it now?

10.00 am.

Minho went out for a variety show.

Jonghyun, vocal training.

Key's cooking.

Now,

"Ya, Taemin-ah, palli. Let's go now," I shouted from my room so that he could hear.

A knock came from outside of my room.

"Hyung, you told me we are going in the evening?"

"Change in plans now,"

"You are acting weird these days," He said and went away.

Am I?

Is it that obvious?

I thought I was hiding it?

I tried my best not to show any signs.

URGH!

I'm totally tired of it!

Chapter 50:

2011-08-19T01:03:00.000-07:00

Onew's POV

Ouch! My head.

Oh, my headache!

See this is what you get when you drink a lot, Jinki-ya!

ARGH!

I couldn't even open my eyes!

Yesterday's soju had put me flat.

"Hyung, you alright?" Minho came in with a towel around his neck.

I was holding my head with both my hands.

I drank a lot for a reason.

I wanted to forget her.

Her.

Chaerin.

All this time, I've been stupid.

Even though i know she loves someone, not someone but my best friend, my brother, my band member, Mimho.

How could I still fight?!

I can't.

You can't Lee Jin Ki.

You have to give up on your hopes.

She loves Minho and you know you won't have any chance.

They are meant for each other.

The look in her eyes when Minho told the press about their relationship.

She have no feelings for you, Jinki-ah.

Then why?

Why did she came after me?

Why did she have to comfort me?

Why did she hugged me?

The look in her eyes when she saw me cry.

There was something.

It's not only affection.

AH! My head is really giving me a nausea!

Why am I so confused?! why is she making me confuse?!

Lee Jin Ki, STOP!

"Hyung?"

Should I tell him?

"Minho...,"

"hyung! you know you drank too much yesterday. I tried to stop you but you were so resistant,"

I was still holding my head.

I nod my head.

Then there was a quiet moment between me and Minho.

No one talk.

"Hyung.....do..do you think the decision I made was right?"

He was waiting for my answer.

But i could speak.

Did he made the right decision?!

And did I made my right decision?

I just stood up ignoring my headache and was on my way to get out of my room.

"Hyung, I'm sorry," he was still sitting on his bed.

I stopped.

"I'm sorry, you have to face this too,"

I walked towards him and he looked at me. Then I just ruffled his hair and smiled.

He was having a confused face and i just went out.

UH! My heart!

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Chapter 49:

2011-08-18T05:39:00.000-07:00

Your POV

We came back to the waiting room together.

SHINee's manager was there with the others around him.

Onew looked at me,but when i looked into his eyes, he turned away.

"Minho, schedule will be tight this week.We have to start your Amigo promotion already," their manager told Minho.

"But...,"

"No buts. Onew had agreed to it,"

I was only looking at Onew but is he ignoring me?

"Chaerin, I'll send you home in a moment,ok," SHINee's manager told me.

I just nod my head.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am already at my house doorstep now.

Should I go in? Dad should be home already right?

Oh! Why am I scared?

I clicked in the password on the security code box in front of my apartment door.

And the door unlocked.

I took a deep breath and went in.

The sound of tv could be heard.

It must be dad.

I gulped.

Oh, how am I going to face him?

I walked past the living room.

I slowed down my step as I took a glance at the tv.

"Breaking news in entertainment world. Famous K-pop artist, member of contemporary boy band SHINee's Choi Minho confess on being in a relationship with his school classmate in a press conference held this morning with them. All five of them together with his confessed girlfriend attended the conference," the news reporter reported.

Then a short video of the press conference were shown.

* " Well, he was talking about talking to me about something that he saw on the net the other day. It was a funny video.He did a small demo on how the girl tricked the guy," *

* "How sure could you be it was me and her when the photo taken was not showing their face. The picture was taken from their back," *

* "Let me tell you. Yes. That picture is true. It does show that I was kissing her. Is there any problem? Is there anything wrong? Yes. She is my girlfriend. She's been a good friend to me too. She has always been there for me, comforting me everyday. That picture shows you that we are in a relationship! So why asking it again?!" *

Goosebumps were all over me now.

I went straight to the kitchen because I needed some water to digest this!

"You happy now?" the voice of my dad asked.

I didn't stop, I need water.

Dad was quiet after that.

After having a glass of water. I feel....

feel like screaming!

I washed my face to calm myself at the kitchen zinc. Now I feel refreshed.

My mind was still running, thinking.

I wiped my face using the kitchen towel. Then I came out of the kitchen.

Dad was still there.

"Dad, I've decided to go to Paris after graduation as you wished,"

"Have you given all your thought wisely?"

"Yes. Yes, dad," my stomach rolled. I feel the pain in my heart.

It's as though its broken, scattered with my own words.

Yes. I am going to Paris.

I 've the whole night yesterday before going to the press conference and I cam up a decision.

As I pass the living room, Ilhan passed by me.

"Noona, you have made the wrong decision," as low as a whisper.

That made me stop my next step.

I looked at him.

He just walked pass away from me, leaving me behind staring at his back.

I made a wrong decision?!

I thought I made a right one?!

Going to Paris will end all this problems that;s happening and that will happen in future. I would never be a trouble for them.

To Minho.

To Onew.

The press wouldn't go crazy chasing after their personal life.

Especially Minho, I'm giving him too much trouble.

But I love him.

I know this is love because I cried so much when I had to made this stupid decision!

I have to give up.

Chaerin, you have to.

You can't keep this up.

It's hard for you and all for them.

And I know I couldn't stand seeing my loved ones' being hurt.

I 'm already confused with my own feelings.

Onew.

Jinki oppa.

I have to talk to him.

I need to talk to him.

Only he can help me.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 48: Continue

2011-08-12T23:12:00.000-07:00

What did she say?!

LOVE TRIANGLE?

I couldn't speak back.

All I could think is the weird feeling I'm having which is SERIOUSLY giving me a nausea!

I feel like I'm going to faint any moment.Weak.

Could it be a love triangle?

Is my feeling towards Minho and Onew different? Or is it same?

Should I get up and run?

I don't want to answer her.

I can't stand sitting here anymore!

I feel like running away from all of these things!

No! You can't!

You promise them, you wouldn't do anything stupid!

But...I can't do this anymore...

I feel so weak all the sudden.

Everything around me started to spin.

Chaerin! Stay strong!

"Neo gwenchana?( are you okay?),"A voice whispered.

Then I realise i was spacing out. Onew looked worried.

I nod my head slowly. I also realise that Minho's hand was still on mine.

And he was talking.

"...............we too need personal lifes. These pictures show we do have personal life and they are intefering into it too much. Imagine you yourself being a victim like this. Would you want yourself to be stalked around with someone?!" he said having a very furious look in his eyes.

All the reporters were noting down something.

"I'm sorry but I think we need to stop," SHINee's manager came in.

Oh, finally!

Then the others covered up everything.

We stood up, bowed and walked in rows out of the room.

We were brought into a waiting room.

Everyone of us were quiet. None of us talked to each other. We all sat all over the small room.

Onew was at one end of the room.

Minho was sitting on the sofa with his palm on his forehead.

Me sitting next to him.

Taemin and Key was on the other end of the room.

Jonghyun is sitting on the opposite sofa.

*"so is this some kind of love triangle?"*

That question the reporter asked is still bugging me in my head.

I glance over Onew and then I look at Minho.

Tears started flooding my eyes automatically.

Is it because of me? Could it be?

I stood up abruptly and dashed out of the room immediately.

By then my tears started rolling down.

I heard Minho and Onew called my name and the others looked at me in surprise.

I walked past many rooms on the same floor.

I heard someone came out of the room I was in just now.

"Chaerin," It was Minho's voice.

I reached the end of the floor where there was a staircase and elevators.

My tears was still flowing.

Should I turn? I need him. I really need him now.

I turn around and saw him standing right behind me.

"Minho," I said in a low voice.

"Chaerin," he walked closer to me.

I hugged him. I hugged him tightly.

Then I started sobbing on him.

He kept quiet all the time and caress my back slowly, calming me down.

"I'm so sorry," my voice sounds husky because I was crying.

"No, I am sorry," He said in his charismatic voice that just melts me.

"I....I love you," I whispered while still staying around his warm arms with my head on his chest.

He hugged me tighter and whispered, "I love you too," in my ears.

A smile form on my lips.

We broke the hug.

But then Minho pulled me into a small kiss on my lips.

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