Our motto together has become “If we don’t laugh, we’ll cry, so let’s laugh instead.”

This approach to life — to choose the shared joy of  laughter — is also articulated beautifully in this piece, titled Joan of Arc, by Kelle Hampton. Kelle has a young daughter with Down Syndrome and her writing expresses anger with those who want to dismiss the good, and instead push her face in the bad.

It’s not that she doesn’t acknowledge the bad:

Here’s the thing–this person is completely right in the fact that it’s going to get worse–more hardship, far more difficult challenges [...].

You think I don’t know what’s ahead? You think I don’t have moments where I put myself there–ten years from now, thirty years from now, fifty years from now? You know what statistics say? I know damn well it’s a hard, hard road and there will be tears. But I trudge forward. Like Joan of freaking Arc, and I embrace the challenges and choose to be happy. Knock me down, Waves. I’ll get back up.

It’s just that she is working really, really damn hard to focus on all the reasons she has to be happy. In fact, I’m sure that “working hard” and even “really damn hard” are embarrassingly inadequate means of describing how people face the very difficult challenges that life throws around. And I know there must be days when it is utterly overwhelming.

So this video is for all of you that are trying hard to choose joy, but might just be having a bad day and need an extra injection of inspiration. From Cassie, to all you.

Related posts: Jamaica 101, Everything’s Amazing and Nobody’s Happy, A Tween’s Perspective (Day 1), A Tween’s Perspective (Day 2), A Tween’s Perspective (Day 3), and (external link) Beaches Boscobel: A Top 5 for Families

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The Last Day in Paradise

By Stella, 9 years old

Well, today was our last day but we did the most fun thing. Today’s highlight is …. Mystic Mountain!!!!!

First we got on a tour bus and drove for a bit. We saw LOTS of “jerk centeres”. In case you are wondering a jerk centere isn’t a place for jerks. Jerk is a spicy meat. So at a jerk centere they sell meat.

Once we arrived at Mystic Mountain we took a while to get organised.

At the entrance to Mystic Mountain

Then we got on a ski lift that pulled us over the rain forest. It took 15 minutes.

Looking down, while on the Mystic Mountain lift to the top

Looking back at our friends behind us, while on chairlift at Mystic Mountain

Then we got to a little plaza and got in line for the bob sled ride. Once it was my turn on the bob sled I hopped in and got my seat belt on.

Here is my Mom getting ready for the bob sled ride

Suddenly the ride started and I shot off around a sharp corner. I was going very fast and breathing hard as the bob sled zig-zagged in full throttle. Finally ended after a sudden stop. I’m surprised I’d say this but I wanted to go again!

And here she is while on the ride!

We stoped at a gift shop and I bought two post cards and a shirt that said “Jamaicia, No Problem”. After that the kids and I had a quick swim. The water was kind of cold and the pool area was shalow so I stuck to the water slide. It was okay but a bit slow.

Next we went down to were you zip-line. We got all our harnesses on and went on a hike to the first zip-line. The instrucktor taught us how to zip-line and we were off!

Whoosh! Here I am zip-lining through the jungle!

We went on a bunch of zip-lines. But then we got to the Repel!

Dun Dun Dun!!!

I’ll tell you what repel is. The repel is basicly falling out of a tree holding on to a rope.

The repel: An illustration from my journal

So after the repel we went on one last zip-line after crossing an awesome wobbly rope bridge.

The awesome rope bridge

The last zip-line was the longest one. Ethan and I had to go with a grown-up because we were too light.

So we got on the ski lift again and headed back to the front office. I bouht a parrot carving and then hopped on the bus back to the resort.

Me and my friends back at the Beaches Boscobel Resort

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And with that, we have the conclusion of Stella’s travel journals from Jamaica!

We stayed in the Beaches Boscobel resort from Tuesday, April 24 and checked out on Saturday, April 28th, 2012 and using the online site, a similar stay in 2013 would cost you $2,094.00 (April 23-27, 2013). That’s $523.50/night and includes accommodation, meals, drinks, kids club, and a full spectrum of resort activities. (Airfare or additional off-site activities such as Mystic Mountain are not included in this cost.) Travelling off-season like this really makes a luxurious all-inclusive resort far more affordable and Beaches also runs a Single Parent Fun package (May 1-24 and Sept 4-Oct 31) during which the single supplement fare is waived.

I thoroughly enjoyed the Beaches resort experience (you can read my thoughts here) and would definitely return. However, in my case, I think I would select a different resort than the Boscobel one because although the pools were A-MAZ-ING, I didn’t find the beach particularly inspiring. I know many people don’t even swim in the ocean, so it wouldn’t be an issue for them, but next time I come to Jamaica, I’d like to try the Beaches Negril or the Beaches Sandy Bay because they are located on the famed Seven Mile Beach. (I also dream about hitting a Sandals resort – the all-inclusive just for adults!)

I travelled with some very talented writers on this press trip and you can read about their experiences as well:

Whale and weather watching in Jamaica, by Lori Knowles in the Toronto Sun

The Mother/Child Vacation, by Jen Maier in Urban Moms

A Review of Beaches Boscobel, Jamaica, by Rhonda Carrier in Take the Family

End of The Jamaica Journal, but the Travels aren't over!

If you’ve been to a Beaches resort and would like to add your thoughts, please do! Also, if anyone has any specific questions about the resort, I’d be more than happy to answer them. Jot down a note in the comments below and I will respond! 

I knew other mothers didn’t feel like I did. And that made things feel worse. I distinctly recall observing another mother in the doctor’s waiting room and I knew that she — and her baby — were thoroughly enjoying these early days. More than anything, I just wanted to sink into the floor and disappear.

Since that wasn’t possible, I crawled my way through those early days, relying on both family and medical support. I began to arrange my days like I had done as a magazine editor before I’d gone on maternity leave — with a schedule of activities. I needed to keep myself busy, but not too busy. So I would plan for one activity a day. Never more, never less. Some days it was as simple as baby Stella and I going out and getting the groceries together, while other days I attended reading time at the local library, a playgroup in the basement of the church, or a cup of tea with my Mom.

Most of my friends hadn’t started families yet, so I turned to the internet to find parent-and-baby activities and began to read blogs (which were not as common at the time, but I did find Heather Armstrong’s dooce and a number of online forums). That’s why the online site Help! We’ve Got Kids really speaks to me.

Help! We’ve Got Kids was the brain child of two Toronto-area mothers, and just recently, it has expanded into Ottawa. One of these same mothers, Tracie Wagman, asked if I’d be interesting in working with her to help promote the site’s expansion into Ottawa. So that’s what this post is about and why you’ll see a Help! We’ve Got Kids button up in my right-hand menu under sponsors.

Help! We’ve Got Kids compiles and shares the kinds of things I used to look for as a new parent, but conveniently, all in one spot. It includes:

• listings of local kids activities;
• coupons for kid-friendly activities and programs;
• blog posts by Tracie and her business partner Deborah Beatty; and
• articles by local experts, such as this one on concussions authored by two pediatric neurologists from CHEO.

So whether you’re a natural at this parenting gig or constantly feeling like a fake, I think a site like Help! We’ve Got Kids is a site you’ll want to bookmark.

I wish Tracie and Deborah great success as they enter into the Ottawa market and I’ll be helping out in whatever way I can along the way!

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Help! We’ve Got Kids. A sponsored post means that I was paid for my time to write it.

Please note: If you are a new parent reading this article and wonder if perhaps you might have depression, there is help available — you don’t need to get through this alone. Just click here for some steps on how to get started. If you are feeling suicidal, it’s important to call 911 right now so that you can get proper medical attention. 

Writing in her journal on our balcony at Beaches Boscobel

On Day 3, we had a really special experience because we left the resort and had a visit to a local school. The school is one of a number that has been ‘adopted’ by the Sandals Foundation, which is the philanthropic arm of Sandals Resorts International. Sandals Resorts International was founded by a Jamaican man by the name of Gordon ‘Butch’ Stewart, and the Stewart family continues to run and oversee both the resorts and the Foundation. It’s an impressive non-profit since 100% of proceeds donated to the Foundation go directly to projects in the community.

By Day 3, however, Stella’s initial enthusiasm for journalling was already waning. This just goes to show you that writing is work (contrary to popular opinion). I explained that she could use a technique like “Top 10″ to spark her ideas along and she decided to go for it. While her descriptions below are quite sparse, I can tell you that she was green with envy that the Jamaican school had so many great painted murals — she just loves murals!

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10 Ways My School is Different from a Local Jamacin School

By Stella, 9 years old

Stella's Journal for Day 3

1. My school is big. The Jamacin school was small.

Boscobel Elementary School

2. My school has metal desks. The Jamacin school had wooden two-person desks.

3. My school has 1 mural. The Jamacin school is covered in murals.

4. The kids don’t wear uniforms at my school. The kids wear uniforms at the Jamacin school.

Jamaican children in school uniforms.

5. At my school there is a mixture of black and white people. I didn’t see any white people at the Jamacin school.

6. At my school there is more than one chalkboard. At the Jamacin school there is only one chalkboard in the classroom.

7. At my school each class has more than one teacher. In the Jamacin school each class has 1 teacher.

Stella reads a story to a group of Grade 2 students.

8. My school goes up to grade six. The Jamacin school goes to grade 5.

9. My school has a gym. The Jamacin school doesn’t.

10. My school has glass windows. The Jamacin school has slits in the walls instead of windows.

The Grade 1 class at Boscobel Elementary School.

Related posts: Jamaica 101, Everything’s Amazing and Nobody’s Happy, and A Tween’s Perspective (Day 1)

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Let the fun begin

By Stella, 9 years old

I had a busy day* today, so I will tell you about the highlight. Day 2′s highlight is ……. Golf Lesson From a Pro!!!!!!!

First we got on a tour bus and drove down to the golf course. On the way we saw little houses, fruit shacks, schools and a “Wallmart” wich was really a guy selling stuff handing on a wall!

After driving on a really bumpy road for half an hour or so we pulled into the driveway of a golf course. Then we met one of the staff of the golf course who told the kids to load into a golf cart and the manager of the golf course led the grown-ups on a tour of the golf course.

Sandals Golf & Country Club

Ethan, Josh and I crammed into the back and Emmett sat in the front with the driver. We drove for about 5 minutes until we reached a driving range were we got off. There we met a golf pro. He tauht us the golf grip. In the golf grip your hands are close together and your thumbs make a line.

He demonstated how to drive the golf ball. We practiced driveing the golf balls for about an hour or two. It was really fun! After that the grown-ups came back from their tour.

Then we hitched a ride on golf carts and after a quick bathroom brake we boarded the bus again and headed back to the resort.

Julie’s additional notes:

* The busy day also included: a breakfast with the characters from Sesame Street, a full tour of the resort, play time in the water park, a swim in the ocean, and last but not least, a delicious dinner. (Yes, we slept very well!)

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The Welcome

By Stella, 9 years old

I woke up at 4:00 am so I wouldn’t miss the plane. Once we got on the plane we flew to Philadalphia and quickly got on our flight to Jamaka. It was 2 hours long. When we finally got to the airport we got into a shuttle and went on a 1 and 1/2 hour ride to get to the resort. All the plants and senery were beautifull!

At the resort we got shown were the Child Center and the gift shop were. We headed inside and the staff gave us a drink. We were brought to our rooms. It was so warm outside, I loved it.

The first thing we did was head down to the beach. The ocean was so nice. Then a wedding started and we left because mom thought I would ruin it by acidently stepping on a sharp rock and yelling “Ow” right when they were getting married.

So we headed to the water park AND pool AND slides. The slides were my favourite in the water park. The first slide I went on was the green slide. I was all, “They paint it green because it’s esey,” and “it’s only in a tube to look scary.” I was mistaken. Halfway there I thought it was over so I sat up and opened my eyes and realised it wasn’t over. Just about then my adrenaline kicked in and I forgot about the saftey position and just screemed. Then I got chucked out sideways into the water. By that point I just stuck to the smaller slides. Then we had some “curly frys” and a Jamacin paddy.

After that mom and I challenged each other to go on the grey slide witch isn’t verry steep but verry curly. But at the top we chickened out and went on the orange one instead. By then we had gone on all the slides but the grey one. So I went on the grey one. It was funner than I was thinking.

Finally we dryed up and had dinner at Arizona’s, a Tex-Mex resterant.

We were invited to come and visit the Beaches Boscobel resort in Jamaica and it’s actually our first “girls’ trip” together. Beaches Resorts cater specifically to families, so we are here to experience the resort and its activities to the fullest. I will be telling you all about it … but first, I want to tell you about the trip to get here.

To fully understand my title, can I ask you to watch this video below? I find it hilarious, but it is 4 minutes long. If you don’t have 4 minutes, tune in at the 2-minute mark where he begins a bit on air travel. (I’ll wait while you watch it, okay? Cool.)

Alright, so not long ago, I wrote a post whining noting how I’d grown tedious of air travel. Stella has been around the world and back to Australia three times, as well as to Cuba and on some small commuter planes on the Big Island of Hawaii, but not since the age of six. When she was six, we came back from a year abroad in Australia and have been settling in to a new home in Ottawa. Now, she’s nine.

Flying with her was a complete revelation to me because, to her, everything really was AMAZING! We got up early to get to the airport and even that was exciting — the getting dressed in the dark, the drive to the airport with the adrenaline and wondering if Mom would miss the plane (since she is late for virtually everything!), and then going through the whole check-in process.

While I’m filling out paperwork and wondering about a variety of travel-related worries (Where are the passports? what did I do with the camera battery? Did I remember to pack underwear? I hope my son doesn’t miss us too much? Where are the passports? I did remember to put my liquids in a separate bag, right? What time is it now? Where are the passports?) she was looking around the airport wide-eyed and saying hello to all of the security staff.

When we’re on the plane and it’s about to take off, she is almost bursting out of her body in excitement! I guess she doesn’t remember flying much when she was younger, or the experience is just far more fascinating now that she’s older. Then, we’re up in the air and she is breathlessly telling me, “Look! We’re above the clouds! Look! I can see the ocean! Look! The houses below look like little toys! Oh. My. This is sooooo cool!”

While she is doing this, I am trying to smile and nod my head in agreement while in my mind, I am thinking “Oh Lord, should I take one of those emergency anti-anxiety pills?” I usually sit down and dig right into my book and pretend I’m sitting in my living room, not in a small metal machine that is flying us through the air. But she’s not accepting any of that — she is absorbing the experience to the fullest … she knows that everything is amazing and she wants to share it with me.

Then when we need to transfer planes in Philadelphia, we realize that we need to take a shuttle bus across the tarmac to another section of the airport. I’m thinking in my mind, “Pain in the butt.” She’s thinking out loud, “Awesome! I hope I get to hold one of those poles!” (You know the metal vertical poles in public transport that you hold on to so you don’t fall over? That’s what she is so excited about.) Then, we’re on the tarmac and she is not even speaking (yes, this is unusual for her!) because she is taking in everything so carefully … the planes, the trucks used to gas-up the planes, the whole bit. I realize that this actually *is* pretty cool because I’ve never really been on a tarmac from this perspective.

When, at long last, the plane’s wheels touch down in Jamaica she whoops out loudly in happiness.

Honestly, if for no other reason, *this* is why you should travel with your children. Kids are so good for us adults. Everything really is amazing and they open our eyes again to the amazing-ness of every day all around us.

But I have to admit that, these days, I tend to skip over television ads using my PVR. So much is just such garbage because it doesn’t really promote the product in a unique way — the message is always that same; that I’m not good enough. And I will never be good enough.

As example, the other night, Hubby and I were watching live television and an ad came on for some type of cream. The ad was clearly targeted at women, but it took us a little while to clue- in that it was some kind of anti-aging cream specifically for hands. So, not only am I supposed to worry about the wrinkles on my face (a natural and healthy part of aging), but also on my hands? Hubby looked at me with puzzlement and I just shrugged my shoulders and said, “Just another message telling me that I’m not good enough.” (Side note: I don’t think I’ve ever seen an advertisement telling men to use anti-aging cream, have you?)

But sometimes an ad comes out that just feels good. It doesn’t kick at my self-esteem, or play on society’s obsession with female appearance. But rather, it instead manages to pull on our emotions so strongly that people talk about it, or even tear-up watching it. I think this one fits the bill, so I’m sharing it with you.

So, won’t you join us as we teach ourselves a touch of geography, history, and social studies?

Where in the world?

First of all, the WHERE! Below is map showing the island of Jamaica in red. From our home town of Ottawa, if you were to catch a direct flight, you’d be looking at about 4 hours in the air. So, relatively speaking, it’s a quick and easy jaunt. About the same distance as Cuba.

Did someone say warm?

Like most other Carribean islands, the weather is extremely attractive to Canadians when the snow is flying. It’s a popular destination for tourists, with peak season ending in mid-April (you know, when Spring finally starts to hit here!). Temperatures range from 26 to 30 degrees Celsius year-round.

Source

Yes, Mom and Dad, I promise to stay safe!

After figuring out exactly where a country is in the world, I then check out the government of Canada’s travel advisories (click here for Jamaica). Now, I know, these are not for the faint of heart — some people might not travel anywhere after reading these — but I like to be informed.

The first thing that you notice when you look at these advisories is that there is a scale of recommended caution for travellers. For Jamaica, the site notes “exercise a high degree of caution.” For comparison’s sake, Mexico and Costa Rica are also classified in the same category, whereas Cuba is noted as “exercise normal security precautions.”

The most sobering fact about Jamaica is that it has one of the highest murder rates in the world. I was also disturbed to learn that the country is considered “adamantly homophobic.”

Christopher Columbus sure got around!

This is about as much history I can absorb at this hour of the night, so forgive the brevity: In 1494, Christopher Columbus claimed Jamaica for Spain. Spanish settlers brought in slaves, and according to Wikipedia, by the 19th century (Britain had taken over in 1655), Jamaica’s heavy reliance on slavery resulted in a population of blacks outnumbering whites by a ratio of 20 to 1. It was not until 1962 that Jamaica attained full independence.

The place is incredibly beautiful

More than 1.3 million foreign tourists visit Jamaica every year and there’s a good reason for that! In addition to a strong culture of great music and food, the place is incredibly beautiful.

I’ll let a few photos from the National Geographic site speak for themselves …

My photos won’t be spectacular like these due to my lack of photographic talent, but I will be sure to share our mother-daughter adventure with you!

Have you been to Jamaica before? What was your first impression, and what was your lasting impression?

A girlfriend was turning 40, and so eight of us gathered to enjoy a meal and drink some wine. I sat down in Von’s restaurant in the Glebe, and then I noticed the wall in front of me.

The entire wall was covered with portraits. Each face, brimming with his own history and life experience. I asked our server about these paintings and she explained that they were created by the artist Philip Craig. Some of the people are politicians, some are media personalities, and some are regulars at the restaurant. And if you look to the top right, second in from the right, the woman pictured there is the owner of Von’s.

Once every wall of the restaurant has been filled to capacity, there were be a special gala where the portraits will be sold or auctioned off and all proceeds will go to local charities.

I thought that was really cool. (When you’re 40, you’re allowed to use the word “cool” without irony.)