But for some reason, I’ve been feeling a little, well, blah. Not a lot. Just a bit.

I wondered why … then I realized that I was spending a lot of time on the beach watching people walk around in bikinis while I was wearing a bathing suit that was handed down to me by a friend who’d lost weight and gave me all her “fat” clothes.

Now, let’s be clear: I’m a realistic person. A practical sort. So, logically, I understand that once a stomach has been stretched out like, say, for example this:

It just makes sense that it will never again look like, oh, say this:

But it didn’t change the fact that I was feeling a tad blah, nonetheless. I decided that a change was in order.

So what did I do?

Well, I lost 10 pounds! Yes, I lost 10 pounds on vacation … pretty amazing, eh? And how did I manage this … by chugging liquid meals? Signing up for a Cape Cod boot camp?

No, no. I simply went shopping! Have you heard of the “MiracleSuit”? The slogan for this bathing suit is “Look 10 lbs lighter in 10 seconds.” And you know what? It’s true. I really did lose 10 lbs just by putting on one of their suits. (Yes, of course, I bought two!)

After my shopping trip, I returned to the pool where my family was hanging out waiting for me. I had a bounce in my step and a smile on my face. And did they notice the new swimsuit? Comment on how flattering it was … how great I looked?

Yeah, as if.

But they did notice that Mama had gotten her groove back. (Thanks Miraclesuit, I owe ya one!)

So I simply searched the internet for all cottages that met this criterion and then booked the one at the best rate, which happened to be in a small fishing town called Jonesport …

[to read more, please click here to read the full post on Life As A Human]

First on the list was clam chowder. As a kid living in Nova Scotia, I can remember running about the beach and digging up clams with my brother. Then my mom would make us all a delicious clam chowder. I don’t know which I enjoyed more … the actual chowder (pictured below) or the memories.

Then, of course, was the lobster. The only one of us brave enough to actually try it was my husband. He really enjoyed it and gave me a taste of the meat, which tasted almost sweet. Oh, and buttery of course. Because you need to dip it all in a heavenly liquid butter!

Half-way through our meal, we found out that the Obama family had eaten at the table right behind us less than one week ago. Although exciting, my husband and I both muttered the exact same thing after hearing this news: “Hope the Obamas got better service than us!”

Our server was hopeless and never seemed to be around so we ended up eating half of our meal parched, with not a single drop of drink on the table. A bus-girl could see the obvious and ended up chasing after him for us. So when we left, I returned the favour and gave her the tip instead.

I knew what he wanted. “Oh, come on,” I pleaded, “We really don’t need a bike lock. Your bike is the only one worth anything and we can bring it into the hotel room if we have to.”

He countered saying that it would be really quick — he could just run in while I drove to the Tim Horton’s for a caffeine fill-up.

“No … these things always end up getting drawn out. We’ll end up killing 20 minutes just to get a stupid lock. We have a long drive ahead. Let’s just go,” I whined said.

He looked at me.

“Okay fine.” I turned the car in to the parking lot to drop him off.

Then I pulled out into the intersection towards the Timmy’s.

But: Oh crap … I can’t over! And this lane is taking me right back onto the highway! Crap! Crap! Crap!

Now I am driving on the highway, heading right back to Ottawa. Good stuff.

I’m sweating bullets. The children, on the other hand, are completely oblivious in the back.

I don’t see any exits coming up soon. None.

And I don’t even know where I am so this GPS isn’t going to help me one bit. Gah!

And hubby doesn’t have his cell phone with him. Double gah!

Okay wait … what’s this … an authorized U-turn zone? Done! Consider me “unauthorized.”

I finally get back to where I’d started from and turn off the highway. Then I pull into the Timmy’s drive-through and get us our double-doubles.

As I approach the Canadian Tire, I check the clock. It’s been at least 25 minutes since I dropped him there.

I can see him flagging me down out front. I pull into the parking lot and he’s looking concerned. He probably thought I totalled our new car while he was buying that $20 lock. But a quick once-over, and he can see that the car and its contents are unharmed.

“What happened? Are you okay,” he asks.

“Look, I told you that it would waste 20 minutes if you went to get that lock!”

When will he learn that I am always right?

If you’ve never lived in Australia, you can be forgiven for having never heard of Tim Winton. But, really, he is way better than Vegemite sandwiches. Trust me. He’s written 9 novels, and I’ve read them all. He’s that good. (And besides, Vegemite is awful. Bleh.)

The Turning is a collection of short stories. If you’re not a big lover of short stories (I kinda have to be in the mood for them too), you’ll like the fact that the stories overlap in unusual ways. Here’s how the Sydney Morning Herald describes this work:

“Each of these 17 stories is a self-contained whole — as all good short stories should be — yet the sequence reveals striking connections among seemingly disparate lives and experiences. The result is at times mysterious, moving and occasionally deeply unsettling … “

Anyhow, I’m no book reviewer … but you can read reviews here and here and here and here. But don’t bother with those – just take my word for it! (Hint: the Chapters.Indigo.ca has a copy for $15) 

Happy reading!

Well, I was wrong … my dear Ottawa bloggers and their readers are just so darn gorgeous in real life that the faces really made the entire night last night a real treat.

A real treat that was entirely made possible by the amazing Lynn from Diary of a Turtlehead. She really pulled off an awesome event. There were 24 readers in total and the place was packed!

The faces behind the blogs: Cheeky, animated, earnest, radianting intelligence, curious and just plain beautiful. They were all there last night. And here are a few for you to enjoy as well….

Christine reading from Coffees and Commutes:

Katherine reading from Girl About O-town:

Nat reading from From Nat’s Brain:

Dani from Postcards from the Mothership:

Me, enjoying every single reading:

All photo credits belong to my brother Adam Harrison         who shares his thoughts and amazing photography from his recent travels on his blog Adam in Asia (Yes, that was my brother I was with last night… you know…just in case you thought my husband was 27-years old).

11:30 pm:  Shutting down computer after putting some finishing touches on a report.

1:00 am:  Youngest child wakes up. Mom makes sure everything is okay, puts in some cuddle time and offers some milk.

1:30 am: Youngest child now settled, Mom returns to her bed.

2:00 am: Youngest child awakes again. Mom repeats steps from earlier, with no success.

2:30 am: Mom goes back to her bed with the youngest and hopes for the best. Youngest takes some time to settle into bed, does a lot of flopping around on Mom’s head.

4:30 am: Eldest child comes to bedroom and wakes Mom up. Mom can’t even process why child is up … either a nightmare or mosquito, but ushers child back to their bed.

5:30 am: Mom is in bed with two children. No one is asleep.

Our first expedition with this clunking announcement of parenthood was to Algonquin Park. We spent a weekend at Achray, and it was wonderful. It really renewed my faith that perhaps I would once again enjoy camping. We could use the pop-up tent trailer just until the kids got older and strong enough to canoe and portage with us. It would all be okay. (Well, actually, I knew that everyone in the family would like camping regardless … who’s kidding who — it was all about me. Stella’s been a regular camper well before she was out of diapers, but always with her father. You can read her great tips for camping with kids here on the Kids in the Capital site.) 

This is what the view looked like from our camping site at Achray, Algonquin Park:

With such a great start to our new life as “family campers,” we were keen to head out again. On the Thursday night before the May long weekend, we had not found time to plan anything but felt like taking off. We did a very quick google search for a camp ground in the Lake Placid area. I had fallen in love with this area during the winter and I was keen to go back during warmer weather. Our google search led us to a style of camping we had never done: the “ultra-campground.” These campgrounds were huge, had paved roads to the sites, an outdoor pool, a children’s playground, hot showers and flush toilets. Hubby hesitated; I said: “Come on! It’ll be fun! It’s not our style but the kids will love it.” So we booked it.

And this is what the view looked like from our site at the North Pole Campground in the Adirondack Mountains of New York State:

I think you’ll agree that both settings look beautiful. But there was a vast difference in reality. What you can’t see in this photo is that there were people on sites in front and back of us, with only a mere few feet between. Also, while that water looks inviting, you couldn’t actually swim into the river from the campground — just look at it. To go for a hike, fish or swim, you had to leave the campground. So, really, there was not much to do with the children at the actual site itself. They got bored VERY quickly.

And what do children do when they get bored? Whine. (Whining is actually a “nice” way to describe the screechy phase my two-year-old son has stumbled into lately.) 

And who was in those camp sites in front and behind us? Other families, right? That’s what I would have thought … I mean, who in their right mind would choose to camp like this if not weighted down with diapers and other kid paraphernalia?

As it turns out, though, it was retired couples. Not only did this mean that our children had no playmates about, but that I immediately felt uncomfortable … other parents wouldn’t even notice if our children were loud or rambunctious, but the quiet couple sipping drinks next door? Oh my, I couldn’t help but think that I was ruining their weekend.

Since there was really nothing to do at the camp site itself, my kids were constantly wanting to go to the playground. And if I wanted to sit around a playground all weekend, I would have stayed home! If I’m going to go through the hassle of packing up to go camping, I want to be surrounded by nature. I don’t want to have to walk along a highway to get to nature, I don’t want to have to get in the car to get to nature, and I don’t want to worry that my kids’ natural noise-levels are disturbing other people.

Now, that was my experience in an “ultra-campground.” The North Pole campground itself was top-notch: spotlessly clean, with friendly, helpful staff. But it wasn’t for me. At all.

I was miserable. So much so, that we packed up and drove home a day early.

I have since spent every spare moment re-planning our summer vacation. There is simply no way in hell that I am spending my summer vacation — my first vacation in over a year and a half — road-tripping with our tent-trailer, as originally planned. And I’m getting no complaints because NO ONE wants to be with me when I’m miserable!

I love comparing how I imagined a character to look — and move and speak — to the movie’s version. Sometimes it’s very close, but sometimes it is so vastly different that it simply reinforces why reading is just such a wonderful, uniquely personal experience.

In some ways, reading a blog is like that. There are blogs that I’ve read for years and years. I imagine the writer behind the words a certain way … how they would pronouce a certain expression, where they would raise the inflection of their voice. Many of the blogs I read have a photo of the author, so it really comes down to how that face might move when they speak and would their voice be smooth like butter, or intense and shaking with emotion.

A year ago, I had the chance to hear some of my favourite bloggers read from their blogs. It was at an event called BOLO, or Blog Out Loud Ottawa. It was a real joy.

And as a newly minted blogger who had just started dipping her toes into what I would learn are very deep waters of the blogosphere, I was so grateful to be warmly welcomed by Lynn, who is the creative force behind BOLO and the blog Turtlehead, to the event as a reader. I read my post and people listened. But even better, so many Ottawa bloggers took the time to come and introduce themselves to me. I knew then what I know even better now — the blogging community in Ottawa rocks. (I wrote about my first BOLO experience here.)

The next BOLO is just around the corner — July 7th. I’m going to be a reader again (despite the fact that I have yet to find a babysitter … I’ll be the harried-looking woman with the toddler up past his bedtime and the young girl who hasn’t stopped chatting since she arrived), and today I’m the featured blogger on the BOLO site. Start time is 7pm and it’s taking place at Irene’s Pub on Bank Street. There is no cost to attend and it’s a casual affair where you can hang out and have a beer (or wine, or whatever you please) and come and go as you please.

So please consider this your personal invitation to attend and hear the voices behind the words of so many fantastic blogs in this city! You can see the full list of readers here, as they are announced one by one on the BOLO site.

I really hope to see you there!  

                                                                                                                                          Do you dare wear short-shorts?

If you’re my age and can pull off short-shorts, all the power to you.

If you’re a young woman with long tanned legs you want to show off, all the power to you.

But please — let’s not dress our young girls in short-shorts.

{click here to see why I’m such a prude about short-shorts! It’s my new post on the Life As A Human e-zine}

This constant barrage of criticism can’t be good for my mental health, can it? Even though I can intellectually reject it, messages can still creep into my subconscious.

And if it’s not good for my mental health, then I certainly don’t want to expose my daughter (and son!) to it either. But wait … is it actually possible for her to avoid this kind of exposure? I can limit it but I cannot stop these commercials from reaching her at some point.

This is something that my husband and I have, regretably, had to accept. We’ve decided that it is more effective to teach our children how to think critically and challenge what it presented to them, than to  spend all of our efforts ensuring that they are not exposed to this kind of mass-manipulation.

So if the television is on in our house and the woman on the television is telling me how to lose weight before bathing suit season, I will talk back to her: “Oh, shut up! I am fine the way I am and diets are unhealthy. You just want my money!” Or alternatively, “What’s wrong with the wrinkles around my eyes? They’re natural. It’s just something that happens when you age. Stop trying to sell me your stupid creams! And how come you don’t try and sell these creams to men, huh?” 

I just thought you should know in case you drop by one day and find me talking to myself. Or yelling.

And also because I just found a gem of a woman named Sarah Haskins (thanks to Margot Magowan and About Face) and she does a tremendous job and breaking down the marketing techniques that specifically target women. Here is one of my favourites, titled “Target Women: Feeding your Family”:

Other great topics that she covers include: Disney Princesses, Cleaning Products, Yogurt, and Skin Care Science and even Vampires. I think her videos could be a great tool for parents who want to challenge media messages with their tweens and teenagers since she manages to combine a critical eye with wit and some well-chosen snark.

What do you think … did they give you a chuckle? did they make you think twice about how a commercial is manipulating you? And how does a woman manage to maintain any self-esteem these days when we’re faced with critical messaging all around us?

I’ve gotta go now. It’s bathing suit season around the corner and I need to go feed myself a liquid meal.   :P

I’ve been missing you though and even though I’ve already consumed said drink, I’ll attempt to share some fun things that happened this week.

Monday

Some Ottawa bloggers were featured in the Ottawa at Home magazine: Dani, Andrea, Annie, Loukia and me too! If you blink, you might miss my two sentences of fame but I am thrilled to have been included in such great company! (The article does not seem to be online, but it’s on newstands now.)

Tuesday 

Stella was eager to participate in her school’s talent show this year. As the auditions approached, she struggled to figure out a “talent” since she does not sing, dance or play an instrument like many of the other children who were auditioning. I suggested that she had a talent for reading and that oration or public speaking was a talent. She was surprised but happy to recognize that this could be a talent and we set about to find a piece for her to read.

After sharing a number of pieces of poetry with her, she selected one from my friend Andrea’s “stealth poetry” posts. And off she went to the auditions. After waiting on pins and needles for days, she came home with the news that she made it into the talent show, which took place this past Tuesday.

I have no shame in admitting that after she stood up in front of her whole school and read the poem in full — without notes and so clearly and proud – that this mamma was a bit of a blubbery mess.

Wednesday

I went to visit a Montessori school and was amazed by how calm and civilized a group of 15 toddlers could be! I am quite interested in the Montessori method as a potential learning environment for my son Max who is turning two-years old soon, so if you have any experiences or thoughts to share, I’d love to hear them.

Thursday

After dinner, hubby went out to pick up some moleskin bandages. And with that, he is now completely and utterly packed – down to the last detail! – for his upcoming mountain climbing adventure in the Rockies. And? It’s not for ages … he is so cute – just like a kid waiting for Christmas!

Friday

I got to meet A Crafty Mom’s three children as she headed out for their first camping trip as a family of five. The kids were so beautiful and SO excited to be going camping. They are going to have a blast, but I did wonder if perhaps I should have packed her up a Sigg bottle with a nice little Brandy, Lime & Soda.

You know when you sent me that email chain letter that said we would all have bad luck if I didn’t forward it on? Well, I deleted it. And that one where if I didn’t send it on to my seven dearest friends, they would never know how much I cared? Deleted. That internet meme that I you sent with best intentions? Sorry, deleted. Even that chain letter full of stickers for your kids’ friends? Yes, I’m the bad guy who broke the chain.

I just can’t do them. I don’t know what it is … it could be that it’s the sniff of guilt attached to them, or perhaps the thought of dropping another item on to someone else’s to-do list. Or maybe I’m just a party pooper. (That’s a good possibility, actually.)

In any case, I received a chain email letter this morning from my step father-in-law. It was about a woman named Irena Sendler. And it warmed the heart of even this, the grouchiest of chain-letter party poopers, enough that I am going to share it with you.

So, without further ado, here it is:

The prize doesn’t always go to the most deserving!!!

There  recently was a death of a 98 year-old lady named Irena Sendler. During  WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the WarsawGhetto, as a  Plumbing/Sewer specialist. She had an ‘ulterior motive’ … She  KNEW what the Nazi’s plans were for the Jews, (being German.)  Irena smuggled infants out in the bottom of the tool box she  carried and she carried in the back of her truck a burlap sack,  (for larger kids.) She also had a dog in the back that she  trained to bark when the Nazi soldiers let her in and out of the  ghetto. The soldiers of course wanted nothing to do with the dog  and the barking covered the kids/infants noises.. During her time  of doing this, she managed to smuggle out and save 2500  kids/infants. She was caught, and the Nazi’s broke both her legs,  arms and beat her severely. Irena kept a record of the names of  all the kids she smuggled out and kept them in a glass jar, buried  under a tree in her back yard. After the war, she tried to locate  any parents that may have survived it and reunited the family.  Most had been gassed. Those kids she helped got placed into foster  family homes or adopted.

Last year  Irena was up for the Nobel Peace Prize …. She was not  selected. Al Gore won, for a slide show on Global  Warming. 

It is now more than  60 years after the Second World War in Europe ended. This e-mail is being sent as a  memorial chain, in memory of the six million Jews, 20 million  Russians, 10 million Christians and 1,900 Catholic priests who  were murdered, massacred, raped, burned, starved and  humiliated!

You can read more about Irena Sendler on Wikipedia, a site titled Holocaust: Crimes, Heros and Villains, and Life in a Jar: The Irena Sendler Project. Reading more about her, it is impossible not to be touched by her strength and courage. And yet, she was such a humble person. Before her death, she was honoured at a ceremony in 2007. She was too frail to attend, but she sent a letter. This passage, quoted in the United Kingdom’s newspaper the Telegraph, stuck me most:

“Every child saved with my help is the justification of my existence on this Earth, and not a title to glory.” — Irena Sendler

The title of her poster reads: “Oil Spill: Sea Animal Nightmare”

And the captions read:

• The oil blocks the whale’s blowhole
• Air bubbles in sea otter’s fur damaged by oil
• Fish gills clogged with oil
• Oil makes bird cold and sick
• Oil makes plankton toxic
• Crab eats things bathed in oil
• Shellfish suck in toxic water

*sigh*