Coin Heaven

An Update

2009-06-15T08:52:00.001-07:00

Hello all.

As any one who happens across this blog knows, there’s not a tremendous lot happening here nowadays. And there’s won’t be. However, I’ve chosen to update anyway — for the few of you that still subscribe to this blog’s feed as well as the handful that still Google their way here on a daily basis — because I’ve put up something on my regular blog that should interest anyone who enjoyed Coin Heaven: a list of video game etymologies. Essentially, it’s a compilation of verbal odds and ends, most of them relating to character names, that I’ve researched and come up with theories about. In addition to a healthy roster of Mario characters, I’ve also included Zelda, Sonic, Street Fighter, Final Fight, Final Fantasy, Chrono Trigger, Secret of Mana, Samurai Shodown, Castlevania, Earthbound/Mother, and quite a few others. The end result was rather long, but I think people will get a kick out of it.

Do have a look over at Back of the Cereal Box for the post. Enjoy!

Game Over!

2007-11-22T10:34:00.000-08:00

The posts may have stopped, but Mario’s greatness lives on.

Thanks for bothering to have a peek here at Coin Heaven, the little corner of the internet where I allow myself to indulge in my lifelong obsession with the Mario games. This, however, will be the last post. Simply put, this blog took up too much time, and between my job, my personal life, and my personal blog, I didn’t have enough hours in the day to do Coin Heaven the way I wanted to.

Apologies for letting this effort end with a whimper instead of a bang. As I’m sure readers have noticed, I stopped posting weeks ago. (And on that note, I’d like to thank joeymartin64 for valiantly keeping tabs on Smash Bros. Brawl goings-on. He’s been the solo Coin Heaven correspondent as of late.) However, the posts will remain online as long as I’m around, so what’s been put online so far will forevermore be available to Mario fans as a resource and a time capsule indicating what Nintendo’s star was like in 2007.

In case readers are interested, I know write a weeklyi(sh) column on Nintendo matters for The Tanooki, a great gaming blog that I could only aspire to with the limited abilities I brought here to Coin Heaven. I’m also continuing to write at my personal blog, Back of the Cereal Box, about all manner of pop culture minutiae — including video games.

Again, thanks for stopping by. This blog may one day be revived in some form , depending on what I’m doing in the future and where I stand with video games. Until then: see you around.

Friend or Foe?

2007-11-10T17:32:00.000-08:00

Before we begin, a small aside. Yes, Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games was released a few days ago with no mention here. I think I was the only one here who was actually looking forward to it, but, unfortunately, I failed to commit the release date to memory until it was too late. Thus, as I don't yet have it, I can't give you any impressions. Sorry.

In any case, today, we'll be taking a look at villainy in the Marioverse. Apparently, it's a pretty tough gig to hold down, because a considerable number of bad guys have also made stints as good guys. So, I've decided to see just how extensive this trend seems to be. I've separated recurring villains into two lists. Requirements for making the lists are as follows-

List one: Minimum of two appearances total, at least one as a major villain, at least one as a hero.

List two: Minimum of two appearances total, all of them as a villain.

Also, I should probably mention that I'm only going by mainstream storyline-based games. Thus, Party games and sports games and the like are not considered. Let's-a go!

List One- Villains with Records of Heroism:

Bowser

Let's start with the obvious. You know this guy as the villain of a whole slew of Mario games, so I won't bother mentioning any specifically. However, for a great demon king, he has a pretty extensive record of heroism. It began with Super Mario RPG, in which Bowser's Castle is taken over by the Smithy Gang. The spiky-shelled king reluctantly allows Mario and co. to join the Koopa Troop (his justification to himself for joining the party) in an effort to reclaim his digs. His grudge against Mario isn't as pronounced here as one might have imagined from past games, as Bowser refers to his new recruits in rather high acclaim throughout the game. He would later appear in somewhat of a support role early in Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga, and was fully playable once more in Super Paper Mario. From these and other more recent appearances, Bowser doesn't seem to consider Mario as a full on arch-nemesis, but rather as an obstacle that often shows up at the wrong (right) time. Put simply, he fights Mario primarily because the plumber gets in his way, not because he wants him dead. I'm sure he's developed a grudge over the years, but you'd think it would be a bit more pronounced.

Wario

Interestingly, Wario's appearances as a hero (anti-hero, if you prefer) far outweigh his appearances as an enemy. In fact, he's only mixed it up with Mario once, in Super Mario Land 2. You might consider their interaction in Mario and Wario to be a second dust-up between the two, but I don't think they ever actually fought there. In any case, Wario's life as a villain was rather short-lived. Ever since Super Mario Land 3, he's been portrayed as an anti-hero, driven by his own greed rather than the altruism that guides Mario's conduct, but ultimately ending up in the "good" column. He even helped out the Mario Bros. and Yoshi in Super Mario 64 DS, when all he got for his trouble was part of a cake. Fat joke aborted.

Donkey Kong

This one works any which way you slice it. This will get sticky, so bear with me. If you consider the arcade DK to be the same as the Donkey Kong Country DK, then it's obvious. The arcade titles (and the Mario vs. Donkey Kong games) see the gorilla as a villain, while the DKC series and its sequels see him as a hero. However, if you believe (as I do) that the arcade DK is Cranky Kong, and that the current DK is a grown-up DK, Jr., it still works. To avoid confusion, I'll just refer to the elder DK as "Cranky" from here on out. Anyway, Cranky's villainy would be the arcade games, while DK would get his shot at bad guy status in the Mario vs. Donkey Kong games. DK's heroism would entail Donkey Kong, Jr. and the DKC games. But Cranky's heroism? Well, I think that Baby DK in Yoshi's Island DS was meant to be the arcade DK, regardless of who you think he grows up to be. So, since we're going by the idea that Cranky is the arcade DK for the time being, that would mean that Baby DK is Cranky Kong. Phew. Did you get all that?

Mario

Yup, lest we forget, the main man himself was the bad guy in Donkey Kong, Jr. If I have to tell you how he qualifies as a hero, why the hell are you here?

Honorable Mention

Count Bleck

His lack of multiple appearances kept him off the main list, so I stuck him here. This guy deserves mention because he managed to start off good, go evil, and then reform back to good. The cryptic post-chapter messages in Super Paper Mario paint Bleck (AKA Blumiere) as a sympathetic figure. Unfortunately, when his romance with Lady Timpani met its tragic end, so did his sanity. He went nuts and sought to end all existence. However, once reunited with Timpani/Tippi near the end of the game, he realizes the err of his ways and even goes so far as to sacrifice himself for the greater good. I'm probably wasting this reference, but it sort of reminds me of Ghaleon from the Lunar series.

Lakilester and Vivian

Not much to say about these guys, but I figured I'd throw them a bone. They both joined Mario's party after fighting him on behalf of their respective game's villains, so there you go.

Kamek

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Really, I could have put this guy on any of these lists, but I decided he fit best here. His villainy is obviously established in the Yoshi games, as well as Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time, but his heroism is debatable. Considering the confusion regarding his name, it's possible that the lone Magikoopa encountered in Bowser's Keep in Super Mario RPG is Kamek. And, as that Magikoopa offered his assistance to the heroes, that would make him an ally to the side of good. But, since it's not quite clear whether or not this Kamek is the same Kamek as seen elsewhere, I can't say for sure that he has a record of heroism. And since it's not clear that he isn't, I can't say for sure that he doesn't. So he ends up here.

Birdo

Though all of her main series appearances have shown her as a boss, the egg-spitter has since joined the ranks of every Mario character ever for sports outings and kart races and all that stuff. You could make the case that a few other villains have done the same, but Birdo has become more of a regular than they have, as well as having somewhat of an implied romance with an established good guy, namely Yoshi. Ew.

Luigi

No, I'm not talking about Mr. L. Brainwashing and amnesia disqualifies that as Luigi actually being villainous. I'm talking about a hopelessly obscure bit of information from Donkey Kong, Jr. See, the opening scene of that game showed Mario hoisting the caged gorilla up on a rope-and-pulley system. The thing is, there are two of him. Seriously. Call me crazy, but I think this "twin" may have at least partially served as inspiration for Mario having a similar-looking brother. Or, if that's too far-fetched for you, I could mention that Luigi is actually crazy with jealousy and wants to kill Mario. At least, that's what every Flash movie this side of Super Mario Bros. Z seems to think.

List Two- Flat-Out Villains:

King K. Rool

Bowser's crocodile counterpart seems to be a bit better at maintaining his villainy than the turtle. Despite appearing as the primary villain in most of the Donkey Kong games, K. Rool has never aided the Kongs, as far as I can recall. Granted, Bowser tends to only help Mario against a greater threat, or save the world just so he can take it over, but for the Kongs, their greatest threat usually IS K. Rool and his Kremling Krew. If not, then the reptiles are simply ignored. Along with everything and everyone else from the DKC series. Yes, I'm looking at you, Jungle Beat.

Captain Syrup

She just barely makes it, but her two appearances as final boss in the first two Wario Land games do indeed meet the list's requirements. I might have been able to say more, but the she-pirate fell off the face of the Earth directly after Wario Land 2, so that's really all there is to her. Shame.

Tatanga

A tad less qualified, but qualified nonetheless. This alien appeared as the final boss of Super Mario Land, and appeared as a level boss in its sequel. Since these were both Game Boy games, he was never seen again, and there's really nothing else I can say about him. Well, he was in cahoots with Wario for a while, but that's about it.

Kammy Koopa

Another one that just makes the cut. Both of Kammy's roles show her as Bowser's right-hand hag, and feature her as a late-game boss. Okay, okay, the fight in the first Paper Mario wasn't really a fight, but hey, it's the thought that counts, right? Again, this character's short career leaves me with little more to say in this blurb. Though, it's interesting to note how many "right-hand" people Bowser has had, and how often they change.

The Koopalings (including Bowser, Jr.)

Speaking of which, Bowser's children were the original sidekicks, and their little brother seems to be the current one. The original eight first showed their stuff in Super Mario Bros. 3, and returned in much the same role in Super Mario World. Fast forward to Super Mario Sunshine, which introduced the newest Koopa youngster, Bowser, Jr. This one would assume the main secondary villain role for the main platformer series. The original eight mysteriously reappeared as late-game bosses in Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga, but haven't been heard from since. None of the kids have ever appeared as allies of the good team, so they earn a spot on this list. They love being mean, after all.

King Boo

His first and only appearance as a major figure was as the final boss of Luigi's Mansion. He later appeared as a level boss in Super Mario Sunshine, though he looked much different. Also, he arguably appeared in Super Mario 64 DS. The original game's Big Boo was given both a crown and King Boo's distinctive laugh in the DS remake. Still, despite being a minor villain, and not a very influential or memorable character overall, his one appearance as a major villain places him here.

Honorable Mention:

Waluigi

Wario's brother or buddy or partner or something. We don't know for sure, because Nintendo seems hell bent on never letting him appear in a mainstream game. Thus, I can't put him on the villains list, but his apparent greed and mischievous personality seem to imply that he isn't much of a sympathetic character. So, he gets this honorable mention.

Petey Piranha

His resume consists of Super Mario Sunshine, Super Princess Peach, Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time, New Super Mario Bros., and a bunch of sports games. He's a boss in all the mainstream games he's appeared in, but he's never a major plot figure, and never more than a mere level boss, so he doesn't quite make the list.

Let's recap.

List One- Villains with Records of Heroism:
-Bowser
-Wario
-DK
-Mario

Honorable Mention:
-Count Bleck
-Lakilester
-Vivian
-Kamek
-Birdo
-Luigi

List Two- Flat-Out Villains:
-King K. Rool
-Captain Syrup
-Tatanga
-Kammy Koopa
-The Koopalings/Bowser, Jr.
-King Boo

Honorable Mention:
-Waluigi
-Petey Piranha

And there you have it. It seems that it's easy enough for a Marioverse character to be a bad guy through one or two games. Past that, however, odds are they'll turn up in some sort of sympathetic role if they stick around long enough. It's just a happy-go-lucky sort of place, I guess.

Diddy and Fox

2007-11-05T12:20:00.000-08:00

As DK fans have probably already seen, last night's DOJO!! update included an interesting little tidbit for followers of that fandom. One half of the double update was another Subspace Emissary cutscene, this time focusing on Diddy Kong and his new-found ally, I guess, Fox McCloud.

It begins with Diddy swinging through the trees, eventually stumbling upon Fox's downed Arwing near a lake. He scampers over to investigate, but is stopped short by the sudden appearance of Rayquaza, who emerges from the lake, blasts Fox's Arwing, and snatches the mortified monkey.

The legendary Pokémon seems ready to make a meal of Diddy, but Fox comes to the rescue. After stylishly backflipping out of his burning Arwing, he performs a quick dash attack (Fox Illusion, I'm guessing) to free Diddy from the serpent's clutches, then finishes the job by reflecting Rayquaza's attack back at it.

Diddy is understandably shaken, and Fox seems to suggest that the two join forces. And that's where it ends.

While most will probably not think much of this, it's worth mentioning that there may have been some thought put into this pairing. See, in Star Fox Adventures, Fox had a little dinosaur by the name of Tricky for a sidekick. Now, that was not the first time that Rare had used that name for a quadrupedal dinosaur character. Diddy Kong Racing featured a boss named Tricky who, depending on who you ask, may or may not be a grown-up version of Fox's sidekick. Really, this is more the DKU's territory than ours, so I'd head over there for more on that.

My point is that it's somewhat interesting how this went down. Is it a coincidence? Or is it a subtle reference to something these characters have in common? Considering how many other possible (and arguably more logical) pairings could have taken place (Star Fox/F-Zero/Metroid, DK/Mario, for instance,) I wouldn't be surprised if this was a dig at the aforementioned similarity.

Maybe I'm wrong, but if I'm not, what else could crop up? Guess we'll just have to wait and see, so let's enjoy the ride.

Playing Catch-Up

2007-10-24T16:46:00.000-07:00

So, we've missed a couple Mario-related Smash Bros. updates. Better late than never, right?

First on the list, last Friday's update officially introduced us to Peach's Final Smash. Psych Bomb? Some emotional power a la Super Princess Peach? Nope. Meet the Peach Blossom.

she does a little dance, surrounded by frame that couldn't possibly be any more girly

enemies nod off, and a bunch of her namesake fruit drops from the sky

get it? 'coz her names "peach"

Like many, I'm less than impressed with this. It's not so much the femininity. That wasn't a big surprise. What bugs me a little is the fact that it has nothing to do with any of Peach's established abilities, some of which (such as those mentioned above) might lend themselves to a Final Smash quite well. It's been pointed out by some that Peach's Sleepy Time spell in Super Mario RPG put enemies to sleep. That I will grant. Some take this even further, suggesting that the healing peaches harken to her White Mage-like role in that game, going so far as to point out that her dance somewhat resembles the kiss-blowing pose of her Group Hug spell. Eh, as much as I hate to be a killjoy, that's really a stretch.

Tuesday's update was somewhat of a disappointment for most that had been keeping up with the news from E for All. It was a Donkey Kong-centered cutscene from the Subspace Emissary mode, one that a lot of folks had already seen. Still, the update was worth it, as it showcased the actual music and sound effects for the scene, which got a near-unanimous thumbs-up. I completely agree. I've also got to say, I'm extremely happy with how Diddy is shaping up in this game. Watch the post-cutscene gameplay footage from that link. Don't his idle stance and jumping pose look like they fell right out of Donkey Kong Country? Hell, his double-jump even puts him in the same pose as bouncing off an enemy did back in the day. Also, his running attack appears to be a very DKC-esque cartwheel. Considering that the company responsible for these moves has since departed from the Nintendo scene, this loyalty to his origins strikes me as an extremely pleasant surprise.

Now, I'm not going to complain about the delay. Seriously, people, let them take their time. Even so, I've got to admit; February seems a long way off.

Back to the Norm

2007-10-15T12:01:00.000-07:00

For now, anyway. There was a lot of other Brawl news popping up in a bunch of videos across the net, so don't be too awfully surprised if a run-down of revealed info shows up in the near future. I don't know about you, but I can ill think of pretty much any other game these days.

Right now, though, take a look at these.

This Goombarrific graffiti popped up near where I live a while ago. I've meant to snap a picture of it since before I even began contributing to Coin Heaven, but unfortunately, I've just recently gotten around to doing so. I'm sure you can see which boards have been replaced since it was first etched, rendering the word "Goomba" nearly illegible. Shame.

Here's another gem, one that resides a stone's throw from the first one. This 8-bit scene is composed of square pieces of paper stapled to a telephone pole. Very well done, I'd say. As for the significance of "515"... I have no clue.

Hanging on the Edge of Tomorrow

2007-10-10T19:43:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official. Sonic the Hedgehog is indeed a playable character in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. All things considered, it's not really surprising in and of itself. But how and when it was announced? That was a hell of a curveball. Most of us (from what I've seen) didn't expect to get confirmation or denial on the blue blur until shortly before or after release. Huh.

Like Snake before him, Sonic comes along with a short video clip, showcasing some of his moves. However, the thematic differences between the two strike me as somewhat curious. Snake's video begins with a codec transmission wherein Snake converses with Col. Campbell about how famous Mario is, and basically what an honor it is to be able to face the plumber in battle. From there, Snake engages Mario in single combat, both getting some pretty good licks in. Most of the rest of the video shows off some of Snake's moves, and for a lot of it, nobody else is on-screen. It's almost like a Smash kata.

Sonic's, on the other hand, is all about the blue blur kicking ass. It even begins with him knocking Mario off the screen. Forgive me, this was the best shot I could get.

What follows is mainly footage of Sonic kicking the crud out of everyone else, over a shortened version of "Live and Learn," the main theme from Sonic Adventure 2. From easily dispatching Mario in one-on-one combat, to holding his own in some four-player brawls, watch closely. He doesn't get hit even once, anywhere in the video.

Later in the video, Sonic is seen fighting alongside Mario in the Subspace Emissary mode. Does this mean the two long-time rivals will team up in this game to throw hands with a common foe?

The showcase ends with Sonic using the Chaos Emeralds to transform into Super Sonic. I imagine this will be his Final Smash. Smash news doesn't end there, however. There was also the Nintendo Fall Conference video, which, while not as epic as Sonic's announcement, includes some noteworthy tibits.

1) The Peach Bomber appears to have been changed from an explosion of fire to an explosion of... hearts.

2) Inclusion of some sort of trophy-arranging mode, demonstrated with the following Kongtastic scene. Anyone else think it's a little awkward seeing PAON Dixie next to Rare Diddy?

3) Donkey Kong Country-style barrel cannons. Are we finally going to see some real DKC-style side-scrolling with next-gen power?

4) A few strange clips involving Yoshi, DK, Diddy, Wario, Peach, and Bowser. They look like taunts to me, but I guess they could also be victory poses put in-stage for thematic purposes. Either that or there are new/multiple taunts this time.

And, the in-game footage ends with Mario's side smash sending the clip to a white background for the "COMING SOON"-type messages.

And that's that. Quite an epic day, for anyone looking forward to this game, whether Sonic's inclusion pleases you (as it does me) or displeases you. It'll be tough to top, that's for sure.

The Lost Levesl fo Super Mario Bros. 3

2007-10-10T19:19:00.000-07:00

Caped Mario tossing vegetables at Sledge Brothers on a recreation of Super Mario Bros. level 1-1? Who wouldn't want that?

There' some clamoring at both Press the Buttons and Poision Mushroom for Nintendo to release a Player's Choice version of Super Mario Advance 4, complete with the two dozen mix-and-match levels only accessible through the now-discontinued e-reader. Worth a read.

Real-Lilfe Mario Mushroom

2007-10-10T19:11:00.001-07:00

There's been some fungus shenanigans over at Kotaku recently. First, they relayed info from Tokyo Mango about a mushroom that looks a helluva lot like the kind that make Mario grow tall — red with white spots. (The fungus goes by the scientific name Amanita muscaria. Keep in mind that a minor mushroom baddie in Super Mario RPG was also called "Amanita.") The next day, Kotaku posted a video of the mushroom actually growing.

One should note, however, that Amanita muscaria doesn't affect the shape of people who eat it. It just kills them.

Super Fantabulous Mario News Round-Up

2007-10-10T17:35:00.001-07:00

Woof.

There's simply so many Mario-related happenings popping up on gaming news blogs right now that I've just decided to condense it all into one post.

Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Clearly, everyone is reeling from the delivery of the news we all knew was coming. As I mentioned in the previous post, Nintendo has officially announced that Sonic the Hedgehog will be joining the fray for this round of Smash Bros. Now we have images and video to prove it.

I'm quite happy about this, especially since now fanboys like me will be able to settle Mario-versus-Sonic fantasies in a forum more appropriate to the mascots' roots than the sporting events found in Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games.

In other Smashing news, an image of a character select screen has found its way online.

Note that I didn't say the character select screen. It's hard to see much here, but it looks like twelve characters up there: Mario, Donkey Kong, Link, Samus, Fox, Pikachi, Diddy, Pit, Mea Knight, Ike, Peach, Yoshi, Sonic and Bowser. No Kirby. No Zelda. No Snake. And none of the other characters announced. I'm guessing what you see above is a preliminary select screen and not the final version. Besides, doesn't it seem more likely that Sonic would be an unlockable character?

Finally, Nintendo marked its fall press conference with a new trailer. (The Youtube version below is a bit grainy. There's a clearer one up at The Tanooki.)

There's more than a few Mario peeps making their first Brawl appearance here, including Toadette and a New Super Mario Bros.-style Super Mushroom, a green Para Troopa getting clocked by an airborne Donkey Kong, and Dixie Kong, who appears in trophy form but hopefully will also show up as a playable fighter. (I'm hoping, anyway.)

Mario Kart Wii

The big news, I suppose, would have to be the game's implementation of various bicycles into the roster of ridable vehicles. As Nintendo Wii Fanboy points out, this modification to the typical Mario Kart formula doesn't seem all that new. For example, Diddy Kong Racing had its characters zipping around on hovercrafts and airplanes years ago, and Mario Kart DS had the racers jockeying for place in all manner of non-kart-like vehicles like tanks and scooters and farm equipment.

What remains to be seen, however, is if this new set of vehicles comes complete with a new set of racing dynamics.

There's also a new trailer out, albeit a rather low-quality one. It comes courtesy of Go Nintendo.

Finally, it seems we have proof that Boo is one of the selectable racers in the game.

I can't actually remember if I new this or not. And, judging from Boo's position in tenth place, he kind of sucks. Still news is news.

Dr. Mario

The classic puzzler is set to return, this time as a downloadable Wii Ware original. The screenshots provided show Miis dressed up in doctor garb, but Dr. Mario seems to be there as well.

[ Source: Nintendo World Report ]

Super Mario Galaxy

Nothing too new from the press conference, save for some new gameplay footage worth salivating over.

A sharp-eyed reader has pointed out to Go Nintendo what looks like it could be a Luigi appearance in Super Mario Galaxy — and in a haunted stage, no less.

In the cage, next to the Boo portrait in the background.

It's something, that's for sure. Go Nintendo points out that Luigi appearing in this setting would be appropriate, since Mario needed rescuing from ghosts in Luigi's Mansion. However, the post also notes that this seeming cameo could also be a ghostly apparition.

Super Mario Stadium Baseball

Finally, Mario and crew will once again be hitting the baseball diamond. We don't know all that much about this game, other than that it's coming whether we like it or not.

Sonic Confirmed in Brawl?

2007-10-09T23:17:00.001-07:00

It would appear so. That's what IGN is saying, anyway. Images soon to come, let's hope. Other juice news morsels: Mario Kart Wii will include the steering wheel controller, Dr. Mario for the Virtual Console, and the announcement of Super Mario Stadium Baseball.

And then something you may not want to here: Smash Bros. Brawl has been delayed in Japan until January 24 — more than a full month after the American drop date. Will this affect its stateside release? Let's hope not.

Grandma's Wig / This Will Make You Big

2007-10-09T01:27:00.000-07:00

NOTE: This post ended up being expanded into a larger exploration of strangeness associated with Ashley's Theme over at my other blog, Back of the Cereal Box.

Will this little demon be terrorizing Smash Bros. Brawl?

Tonight's update at the Smash Bros. Brawl blog revealed that Ashley's Theme from WarioWare: Touched! will be one of the game's musical tracks — and in an up-tempo, big band reconstruction, too. Personally, I'm happy. The original tune stands out in my mind as one of the more memorable video game songs I've ever heard. And it had lyrics that didn't suck, no less! (Are you listening, DK Rap?) I somehow doubt she'll be making a playable appearance. She and the rest of the WarioWare crew will show up as Assist Trophies, if at all. Nonetheless, this post makes for an interesting one at the Brawl blog in that he refers readers to its Japanese version. There, you can hear the Japanese singer for Ashley's part — younger, sweeter and entirely less saucy.

Just because I think it's a clever little ditty, here are the lyrics to Ashley's Theme. (Ashley's parts are italicized.)

Who's the girl next door living in the haunted mansion?
You better learn my name 'cause I am Ashley!
She knows the darkest spells and she brews the meanest potions
You might be the ingredient I seek

Don't let yourself be fooled by her innocent demeanor
You should be afraid of the great Ashley!
She doesn't play with dolls, and she never combs her hair
Who has time for girly things like that?

Eye of newt, I cast a hex on you
Grandma's wig, this'll make you big
Kitten Spitz, soon your pants won't fix
Pantalones Giganticus!

Oh no, not again!

She could rule the world, and still finish all her homework
Everyone knows that I'm the greatest Ashley!
You better watch your step or she'll cast a spell on you
I turned my teacher into a spoon

I must flip through my spellbook, and yes it's true
I don't have as many friends as you.
But I think you're nice and maybe we could be friends
And if you say no, you're toast

Who's the girl next door living in the haunted mansion?
You better learn my name 'cause I am Ashley!
Just remember this when you see her on the street
I'm the cruelest girl you'll ever meet

And for the sake of comparison, here's the lyrics to the Japanese version, translated into English. (Credit goes to GameFAQs contributor Enigmapoeia and his awesome video game song lyrics guide.)

Everyone's most popular person in the world
It's all about her Ashley
Everyone turn around to see her glance
It's only natural for Ashley, that's me

Everyone has an admiration throughout the world
It's all about her Ashley!
The great Ashley's magic is so supreme!
It's a party tonight!

EnOre Bmu N — it is a laughter spell
Si O I Ra Wn — what could be that spell?
I Ed A M — I don't remember this one
Ah! It's detestable! I'm getting bored!

Everyone's most popular person in the world
It's all about her Ashley
There are no impossibilities with the great Ashley
Nothing is strong to me!

The sea of the night sky has plenty of s
I am all alone
I want to make friends with everyone
How should I be good?

Everyone's most popular person in the world
It's all about her Ashley
The great Ashley's magic is so supreme!
It's a party tonight!

Far different, but that could just be the translation. One final note and then I promise I'll never mention Ashley's Theme again. In the Japanese version, Ashley chants a spell of nonsense syllables in the third verse. If you take the individual word parts and read them backwards, they spell "Made in Wario is number one." Now there's a secret message in Ashley's Theme that actually exists!

Box Art Breakdown: Super Mario Bros. 2

2007-10-09T01:04:00.001-07:00

The wonderful 4 Color Rebellion continues its "close readings" of Mario box art, this time focusing on the game that features the abnormally sparkly radish: Super Mario Bros. 2.

Author N. Rumas himself notes that the box art for the port of this game — known in Japan as Super Mario USA — looks suspiciously like that of the original Doki Doki Panic art, a subject which I've tackled here at Coin Heaven.

Welcome to the Real Story

2007-10-08T22:14:00.000-07:00

Anyone who can place the reference in the article's title gets a Yoshi Cookie.

Anyway, time for another storyline article. This time, I'll be discussing why I feel that certain aspects of games should not be considered "canon" with regards to the story. No, I'm not going to question Mario's oft-mentioned jumping prowess, or insist that coins aren't actually used as currency or anything dumb like that. You'll see what I mean as we get further into this.

My experience with video game storyline issues began with the Zelda series. During that time, I learned many lessons, but, for the sake of avoiding a nostalgia-ridden tangent, I'll keep to mentioning just one for now. That lesson is that not everything that happens in a game happens to the characters within the parameters of the fictional universe. An example I use to explain this point happens quite often in many games: characters explaining the controls to other characters. In the Zelda games, they wouldn't make anything of it, and just had the Deku Tree tell Link to use C-up to listen to Navi. The Mario games, on the other hand, are of a lighter mood, and the writers tend to like being a little goofy when it comes to this stuff. Players of Super Paper Mario will know what I'm referring to here. So no, I don't believe that Pixls consider the player to be a "Great Being" or that they believe that it uses the 1 button to have Mario use their abilities. That's just the writers having a little fun with the player.

Think of it this way: a video game is, first and foremost, a game. The story is, more often than not, secondary. Sometimes, a game has to clarify what is required of the player, breaking the fourth wall in the process. However, when you think about it from another perspective - the perspective of the storyline - a lot of this doesn't have to happen at all in the context of
the fiction. It's just there for the edification of the player, and, in a (usually) light-hearted setting such as the Marioverse, the developers can have a chuckle here or there as well.

Of course, this can get dicey, especially with regards to the Marioverse, thanks in part to this fellow:

pah! games were better off without all this continuity garbage anyway!

Yup, good old Cranky Kong, embittered elderly simian, and, depending on who you ask, star of the original Donkey Kong arcade game. For the record, yes, I believe Cranky was the original DK, and that the current DK was DK, Jr. And, for that matter, that Baby DK is a young Cranky Kong, but I digress.

I bring up the grizzled gorilla because of his nasty little habit of breaking the fourth wall. From his debut in Donkey Kong Country until the end of Rare's control of the series, most of what Cranky Kong had to say revolved mainly around berating modern games, claiming that the arcade titles of yesteryear were infinitely superior to the fancy-schmancy 3D-rendered
adventures of the now. He also demonstrates a unique self-awareness. He knows that he is in a video game, and states this constantly. For that matter, several other Rareware games have this schtick, including those that arguably take place in the Marioverse. The ending of Banjo-Kazooie, for example, sees that game's characters openly discussing the development of a sequel. Conker's Bad Fur Day takes this even further, containing an ending that involves active participation on the part of a programmer. Closer to home, Super Paper Mario makes it quite clear that "game over" is fairly common in the Marioverse vernacular, as a synonym for death.

What to make of this? I don't know. It'd be a hell of a stretch to chalk it up to the same negligible level as gameplay instructions; we're talking about relevant plot information here. Maybe these characters really do know that their universe is a work of fiction; after all, it is. Maybe it is programmer humor, after all. Maybe I'm just thinking about this way too hard. In the end, though, it falls into the realm of that which can't be verified.

Alright, thus far, we've established that characters probably don't talk about button-presses, but do think of their lives as games. Unfortunately, that's about as clear-cut as it gets when it comes to Marioverse theorizing. I'm not done, though. I've got one more topic to discuss; throwaway cameos. I'll try to keep this one a little more brief.

is hyrule in the marioverse? no

Pictured above is Link, hero of the Zelda series, fast asleep in Super Mario RPG's Rose Town Inn. While some might take this as a crossover-via-physical-appearance, thereby connecting the Mario and Zelda series together, I consider it in the same area as gameplay instructions; that is, just a humorous nod on the part of the developers, this time to another work. If you absolutely must have an explanation for this character's existence, I'll give you one: he's a Marioverse character heavily influenced by Link's design. Hell, let's go crazy and say that it's this guy that Bazaar mentions in Donkey Kong Country 3. However, this does not mean he is actually the same Link as any seen in the Zelda series. Once again, I must point to an outside example to prove a point. In Tales of Symphonia, there is a swordsman in the slums of Meltokio who, if spoken to, will mention a "cute flower seller." Swordsman? Slums? Flower seller? Sounds like Cloud Strife and Aeris Gainsborough to me. It's meant to. The character is a one-off joke, obviously meant to bring Cloud and Aeris to mind. But is he actually Cloud? Is he actually talking about Aeris? Not at all.

As always, you're free to disagree with any or all of this. But think about this: does it make more sense for all the Nintendo franchises to literally co-exist, or to exist separately, while the real-world creators of them retain a sense of humor. Until you can explain Princess Zelda's collection of Mario-character paintings, I'll stick with the latter.

doubt it

Start Your Bongo-ing

2007-10-08T21:39:00.000-07:00

For those few of you who have been hotly anticipating its release, Donkey Kong: Bongo Blast hit shelves today.

It's all the charm of Gamecube-era graphics without the nifty Gamecube bongo controller. But hey — it's good to see Diddy and Dixie back in action on a console system. Commence the frantic arm-flailing.

Affordable, Possibly Lame Mario Air Fresheners

2007-10-08T21:35:00.000-07:00

Everyone else has made jokes about the possibility of plumber scents. So I won't.

Nonetheless, I will note that you can buy the pair for under eight bucks, so this could be Mario desk clutter that won't break your bank. A minus to that plus: Luigi is, once again, a palette swap of Mario.

[ Source: Technabob, via Kotaku ]

Koopa Troopa Beach

2007-10-08T21:32:00.000-07:00

Less racing, more pain-staking sand molding.

[ Source: Kotaku ]

Not-the-Mario

2007-10-08T21:28:00.000-07:00

No it's not Mario, no matter how much it may seem like Mario. It's just a simple overalls-and-red-shirt Halloween costume, complete with a little red cap. But no, it's not Mario.

I sure hope this "handyman" costume comes with a mustache.

[ Source: Siliconera ]

Mario Power-Up Evolution

2007-10-08T20:34:00.000-07:00

Pretty sweet. This is apparently a scan from GamesTM magazine — or possibly Games magazine — that initially went up at Go Nintendo.

click for a larger, readable version

My one quibble: The flower-looking power-up from Super Mario Land does not, in fact, grant Mario fire powers. It gives him the power of chucking superballs. The Superball Flower, maybe?

Speaking of power ups, Go Nintendo also posted the following screenshot from Super Mario Galaxy.

The presumption is that those remaining four spaces will be filled by other power-ups. Surely, the already revealed Fire Flower will occupy one. But what of the others? Based on the fact that Boo Mario and Bee Mario are both based on characters appearing in Super Mario Galaxy, it seems plausible that Mario's remaining powered-up forms will as well. Perhaps, then, the blue Koopa shell from New Super Mario Bros. may make an appearance. However, I'm still rooting for full-on Super Mario Bros. 3 nostalgia and hoping for a another chance at wearing the Frog, Tanooki or Hammer Brother suits once again

Mario, Cake-ified Once Again

2007-10-08T20:27:00.000-07:00

"Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded Peach?"

Cakes is cakes, nowadays. Still, someone clearly went through a lot of work for this one. Does anybody have an inclination to make a Mario pie? Check the link: There's also a Zelda-themed vodka luge. A good luck to Cody of Blizzard Entertainment, whose wedding this cake was made for.

[ Source: Kotaku ]

Peach Vamps It Up

2007-10-08T20:20:00.000-07:00

Yowza. When Peach takes off the ballgown, she really lets loose.

Bonus points: the Bowser bracelets on her thighs. As GayGamer notes, Vampy Peach looks a bit like a certain homoerotic depiction of Luigi.

Peach — Not Mario — Graces Gamer All-Star Tattoo

2007-10-08T20:13:00.000-07:00

An amazing tattoo, but does anybody but me find it strange that Peach appears on this back-spanning body art and not Mario?

Oh yeah — Yoshi and retro Donkey Kong are there too.

[ Source: bits bytes pixels & sprites ]

Lakitu Cruises Through Smash Bros. Brawl

2007-10-03T17:36:00.000-07:00

Nostalgia won out.

Well, that or aesthetic laziness.

Last night’s update to the Smash Bros. Brawl blog revealed that Super Mario Bros. mainstay Lakitu will be popping up as an Assist Trophy — and as his two-dimensional, pixilated Super Mario Bros. self, no less. As in his original appearance, he’ll be cruising in on his deceptively smiling cloud and raining Spiny eggs down on those below. What fun!

It’s worth noting that another original Super Mario Bros. baddie, the Hammer Brother, will be appearing in a fully realized three-dimensional form. Lakitu’s not, and I’m not sure why Brawl’s designers chose to go in this aesthetic direction. It’s odd looking back on Lakitu’s original in-game likeness. Today we all know him as the bespectacled Koopa in a cloud, but it’s hard to discern glasses or even a shell when looking at the debut sprite. He actually looks more like a human than Mario does.

Anyway, figuring that his Smash Bros. cameo hearkens back to his eight-bit roots, I thought I’d take this opportunity to reflect on Lakitu’s growth since his debut.

Who would have thought that such an irritant would become such a central figure in the Marioverse? Initially he was worth only the 1,000 points Mario would get for stomping him. His appearance in Super Mario Bros. 3 functioned much in the same manner: Lakitu more or less just served as a vehicle to bombard Mario with his pets, the un-stompable Spinys. The third Mario game did offer American gamers some insight into his personality overseas, however. They could score his cloud as an item and use it to fully bypass stages. Despite clearly being Lakitu’s cloud, the item was referred to in instruction manuals as "Jugem’s Cloud" — a nod to Lakitu’s Japanese name, “Jugemu.”

As the Mario games entered the sixteen-bit generation, Lakitu diversified his game. His Super Mario World incarnation now hid in the kind of pipes that normally only housed Piranha Plants and would sometimes dangle 1-up Mushrooms a trap for unwary passerby plumbers. This allowed Lakitu the handy job of snatching up errant go-karts in Super Mario Kart, a job he’s held in every subsequent incarnation of the game. The little guy became playable for the first time in Tetris Attack and worked behind the scenes throughout Super Mario 64 to record Mario’s every movement with his faithful camcorder. (Sure, controlling him made for some angle-in-the-corner headaches, but we can hardly blame Lakitu for that.) Perhaps most tellingly, an individual, non-generic Lakitu appeared in Paper Mario — two actually, Lakilester and his ladyfriend Lakilulu — alongside a host of Mario’s other most popular baddies.

Today, Lakitu is serving as a judge in Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games. The title features him alongside some fairly major faces in the Mario and Sonic universes: Toad, Cream the Rabbit and Espio the Chameleon among them. It just goes to show, I guess, that if you hang around long enough in the video game world, you’ll get to do all sorts on things — on the good guy side and on the bad guy side.

Super Mario Galaxy Intro Video — Too Cool!

2007-10-02T17:16:00.000-07:00

Simply beautiful, really.

The best part, for a Mario nut like me, is that the music that accompanies Bowser's airship attack is totally from the Super Mario Bros. 3 airship stages.

There's this and more at the official Japanese site for Super Mario Galaxy, which should get bigger and better as the title's release date approaches. And a few other Super Mario Galaxy videos are now floating around as well, including this one, which shows Mario riding a manta and fighting a new, buggy-looking boss:

[ Source: Go Nintendo ]

Eat Your Mushrooms

2007-10-02T15:20:00.000-07:00

Now available: Mario mushroom candy. (Note: Likely does not taste like mushrooms.)

[ Source: Fractalspin, via GayGamer ]