Cold Knowledge

My Kingdom III

2016-12-31T00:00:00.000-05:00

My kingdom is growing.

I mean that's kind of the point and theme with this series of columns, to be better than where I was when I wrote the last one. This year it felt for a long time that I was hustling backwards and that I needed to change something every single second of the way. To be fair there were a lot of moments where I couldn't just relax and take things in stride, I HAD to step it up or risk being lost in the shuffle. Sometimes you just have to do what's necessary for your situation. I can kind of equate that to having to go to war and defend the progress that I made over the last couple of years from folks that didn't want to see me doing well for myself. And I didn't think that was actually a thing until I started listening to what they were saying and how they were moving around me. I would see the sneaky stuff they would try to do and the folks that they thought they were getting on their side would come back to me and tell me about the things that they tried to do or said about me when I wasn't around; (shout out to those real friends right there).

That whole situation was taken care off rather quickly once my attention was turned there. I don't really have time for games from anyone and I don't do the whole shady thing with someone near me. But the whole point of that story is that I realized that I wasn't paying close attention to my personal and social life since I was more so worried about the financial impacts of what was going on. While it was a thing that I needed to focus on, you can't skip out on the other parts of your kingdom in order to make sure one is alright. When ruling you have to make sure that every part of your kingdom and all of the people that make it up are good, or else you run the risk of losing the kingdom and being broken down into nothing. And that's the main thing that I grew from this year, toxic people. Once I left them alone, the people that I needed to be around, came around and stayed.

And that's the great thing about life, it all works out.

Managing your kingdom equally is a tedious task, especially when a lot of people require a lot different things from you. You have to have that perfect balance to maintain all things in your life at proper levels. Am I saying that if you do it right then you won't have any problems and everything will be perfect? Not at all. What I'm saying is that if you do it right then things will eventually work themselves out in the end and you won't be as stressed as everyone else who seeks to do you harm will be. And that's the biggest thing that I learned this year, just how to manage my time a little bit better, or at the very least I know what I need to do to manage that time. With that being applied to the later months, my life has become sort of relaxed to say the least. And that's important for the time that we live in, either you're stressing or you're going to be really good with where you are.

And that's what I'm working on, how to be good with where I am and learning to appreciate all things in my life right now. I have a lot of great things going on and I'm just trying to find that balance between it all. But 2016 has made it all clear that it's time for something to change even past the point of what I'm changing already. I guess you can say that's what comes with turning thirty, you start thinking about all of this stuff. But I think for me it's more so a matriculation from where I was and where I want to be. My kingdom is thriving and doing well, I'm taking the appropriate steps to make sure that there's economic and social growth for everyone involved. So thank 2016 for showing me that everyone in my circle matters and that they all need the attention to detail just like the other parts of my kingdom does.

Becoming the ruler I need to be in 2017 is going to be interesting and great at the same damn time.

Related Columns

My Kingdom

My Kingdom II

2016: Resistance

2016-12-30T00:00:00.000-05:00

It's easy to point out all of the terrible things that happened in 2016.

I mean after all this year took so many beloved people, both socially and personally, that people just started giving up hope midway through the year. Between losing folks that either gave us a great memory about something or provided us with some music that gave us the ability to make great memories. There were beloved animals that passed away due to human error and overreacting. Then there was war that is still waging on in the middle east and Africa that has gotten so bad that even folks on both sides of the line are debating about stepping in and doing something, again. There were riots and police shootings that still shake the country to this very day. 2016 didn't offer us anything too useful from the standpoint of things getting better after a terrible 2015.

Then after a very rigorous and racist campaign that mirrored a lot of the rhetoric from a maniacal leader that started the second world war, Donald Trump became our President elect. Between white folks voting for what they knew and minorities not getting out to the polls in full force like they should have, the country failed itself in the sense that they didn't think this would happen. Regardless of how close the polls were and how the electoral college voted, he won because no one actually thought that he would. But in the end, he did and like I said before it's all of our faults, collectively. And now the country is poised to head back in the direction that it was in before the growth of the economy and folks could pay their bills on time.

But still even in all of that fuss and confusion, hope has still shined a ray of its beauty.

I witnessed so many folks creating and making things that were wonderful and beautiful. There were political correspondents and pundits alike, that refuse to back down from the tyranny currently running rampant in this county. Yes, there are more marches and protests, but those marches and protests are starting to gain traction and folks are realizing that at the very least change needs to happen so that their money isn't messed with. But also, a lot of change came with the entertainment scene and at the very least black creatives are shining through and getting the chance to produce and create content that reflects our life and all that is recent and not dated.

While 2016 has been a pain in the ass for a lot of reasons, the good things that are going on are starting to shine through bright and clear. It's these reasons that make a lot of us optimistic about 2017 in the sense that we are putting ourselves in positions that will allow us to shine and do what we want rather than what society wants us to do. That's the beauty about it all, there are folks out there who won't accept the bullshit that is being given to us on a daily basis. You can only refute change but only for so long. Eventually that change, especially good change, will shine its head through the cracks and make you change or destroy you in the process. Yes 2016 sucked, but there are folks who aren't accepting defeat.

Those folks are leading the resistance we so desperately need for 2017.

Related Columns
2014: Restoration
2015: Retaliation

End of An Era

2016-12-29T00:00:00.000-05:00

A lot has happened since that fateful day in 2007 when I said fuck it.

No really knows that I went through three different frame of mind changes since that day. On that very day in question was the first change where I went from very nervous and scared Devon, to the Devon who eventually went by the motto: "the worst thing that can happen is death and if it gets to that point then God was calling me home well before then". I know that a lot of people will see that and think of every negative thing under the sun about me. Well they should know that one thing that I was born with was the gift of discernment; so, while I was out there being reckless to the extreme, it was always at a bit of caution for my personal well-being. But for the most part I was out here being extra and having a fantastic time with all of my friends. It was basically one of the best times of my life, and I learned a lot of lessons during this time.

The second time was when I left for the military and had to change my whole mindset so that racists, the unhappy, chicken heads and any other unhappy person wouldn't tear me down in the process of me bettering myself. There are three kinds of opinion about the military, with the first being that it's the greatest thing ever. These are the type of opinions that are detrimental to most soldiers who feel external pressures to stay in and make the best of a shitty situation from people who don't know what success is or that there are other roads to said destination. This was the big view that I had to euro step the whole-time I was in. Folks constantly telling me that I needed the Army to be the best version of me, when in reality I could make way more money outside of it with a basic 9-5 job.

The vacation days are about the only thing I do miss.

But then you also have those folks that think the military as a whole is a big waste of time and that anything you do to get yourself ready to be ahead of where you were when you entered can be done without it. Usually this way of thinking comes from pompous asses and folks who never really had to pay a bill a day in their life or before the age of 30. I mean I'm not knocking any of those folks, because if you have it like that then kudos, someone was doing it right. But when you fix your mouth to say something along those lines, then it's my duty to destroy you in the most respectful way possible, because clearly you suck at life. Which I've had to do more times than I really wanted to; secretly it was kind of fun for me to see their reaction. Then you had those folks like me that saw both of the good and the bad, but still chose to go in because the gains were way better than the losses.

Make no mistake about it, I took some major losses while I was in, but I made it out in relatively sound mind and body. Most people like me, with this way of thinking, usually didn't stick around for too long. I would meet them right when they were getting out themselves to pursue that better life we envisioned when we came in. A lot of those folks are still doing well for themselves and I'm happy for them. A few stayed in and they're working the system to their advantage. I still see their messages about how things are either getting worse or are the same; but again, they choose to stay because they know the hustle. There are a couple that got lost in translation and I just hope things work out for them eventually. This is the phase where I was defensive and angry all of the time for those reasons.

These two phases lasted for a combine seven years.

Most of this time was filled with a lot of good and of course a lot of it was filled with bad. But never once did I have any regrets about anything that I did during this stretch of time; simply because I know it made me a better man. It was after this stretch of time, (and the last two years really), that I honed my skills into my creative side of things. This is where my blogging came into play and me writing like a mad man who has awaken after a thirty-year coma. It's here that I found out that the thing that relaxes me the most is the fact that my words come out and relieves thoughts that were holding me down. Writing has become a big part of who I am simply for the benefits of me being able to manage my stress and get things onto paper that I didn't know was in the back of my mind. It keeps me from going off on folks on a daily basis lol.

Even with the benefits that writing has bought me, it's time for me to evolve into the next phase of that part of life. A lot of people don't agree with me taking my break as stated time and time again to me on social media and personal messages. I've addressed this time and time again on here and on social media but folks don't realize that, by extension, writing is my life. Anything that you do in life really well you either outgrow it or you find ways to evolve and make it better for the next step. And as I enter the next phase of my life and I change my priorities, so does my content. I'm not a normal rebranding and go type of person, I need my next move to be more concise and in my vision. This is something that I need to do for me and I'm excited because I leave this era in the past and move towards the future, I just know that there are exciting things on the horizon for me all around.

In time this will all make sense, but until then .. I'll see you around.

December 2016

2016-12-21T18:28:00.001-05:00

Better late than never ..

I mean what can I say, life has been busy for me at the very least. Wait, let me take that back; life hasn't been THAT busy for me. It's just that a lot of things have been coming downhill ever since I last posted for you gracious people and I've either enjoyed it or have been dealing with it. There's stuff that's going on now, (both good and bad), but I'm rolling with the punches. You can't really sit here and be all in your feelings about life doing what it's best at. The only thing you can do is get up and get on the good foot to handle all of the issues. That's just how I view things on said topic matter, I know there will be a couple of folks who will disagree with me until they're blue in the face, and that's just fine. Live your life like how you want to live it, pal.

But even with all of those things going on, I'm here today to talk to you wonderful people. I know there are a couple of people out there that are not happy with me walking away from blogging to take my much deserved break. Honestly I don't care about those people and how they feel because they are all speaking from a place of selfishness. This whole decision was based on me being selfish and what I need to do to get myself back right, as well as the blog. I keep pointing out that this hiatus isn't all about me not wanting to write, it's about me getting things right so that I can continue to write. I'll never understand those folks who don't understand the purpose of breaks. They feel as though you're suppose to jam everything in there at one time, when in reality that's not how it works.

That's not how any of this works.

But the only thing I can do is turn the blind eye and deaf ear on them. As I said before, I have plenty of posts that can be read in my absence and I'll still be in the realm, collaborating with other black creatives. I was going to still post monthly updates here on the blog, but I decided against in that I'm going to do just that. I'm taking a full break for six months from writing anything; (well not writing personally, because that's something that you can't just turn off.) You just won't see me posting anything basically until the summer, but you will see those updates and anything I do collaboration wise. I mean it's the least I can do if I'm working with someone and to keep you all in the loop of things. If you follow my Twitter, *cough* (@ColdKnowledge) *cough*, you will know about these ventures that I speak of. So for the last time, I WILL STILL BE AROUND. I had to yell that to the people who aren't paying attention.

But as for right now, I'm going to finish out with a bang. I know some folks are asking am I going to post a goodbye blog and all of that jazz. The short answer to that is no, simply because I don't feel like I'm saying goodbye to anything. Yes I'm going on a break, but I'm still going to be around to talk about old posts and new collaborations. So at the end of the day the blog will still be here for your consumption. I am working on getting my Twitter links back together so that you can read random posts everyday if you'd like. I know that's one of the big things that people liked about me and what not, my interaction on Twitter along with my links to my posts that they could check out.

But just know that in the end, I am still here.

So you don't have to worry your pretty little heads about me totally disappearing; it's just my readjustment time. When you're successful at anything you'll always need this time to do reflect and cleanse your pallet. Speaking of that, if you notice changes to any of Cold Knowledge's socially media pages, just go with the flow. I know that I'm going to go through and clean them all up; I just don't know exactly when I'm going to do that. That's a lot of work for one person, so you're going to have to bare with me on that front. Other than that all I have to say is look out for some posts in this last wonderful week of 2016. I'm looking forward to working with those who want to work with me and I'm looking forward to those with comments on my posts.

Until next time!

Related Posts

December 2015

January 2016
February 2016
March 2016
April 2016
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June 2016
July 2016
August 2016

September 2016

October 2016

November 2016

2016-11-01T00:00:00.000-04:00

The end is near!

Can you believe that the end of 2016 is here already? This year has been packed with so much drama and sadness that we're all ready to see what the new year holds for us. There's not much going on with the blog at this current moment except that things are on pace for the end of the year and I am still going on my hiatus. That's pretty much the main question that everyone has been asking me every time they've spoken with me since I announced it. I don't think most people understand the purpose for said break and why I feel it's very necessary. I can break it down somewhat for you, but I feel there are people that still won't understand or acknowledge that it needs to happen. But for those sensible folks out there here are a couple of main reasons why I'm doing this:

1. I'm mentally stretched at this current juncture of my life. | Even if I did want to say I wouldn't be producing at the level in which I'm use to. There are a couple of things that I have going on in my personal life that I need to handle, and while writing is therapeutic for me, blog work has to take a backseat for awhile. It takes a lot to run a whole blog by yourself. There's so much that goes into making it successful, and while some of us have the luxury of quitting our jobs to do this full time, I don't lol. There's a time and a place for everything and right now blogging has to take a backseat to my other priorities. Plus I'm just tired of the output that I've been producing over the course of the last three years basically. It's time that I step back a bit and take some time to enjoy this reset button.

2. I need to get physically better. | I feel way off in the way I take care of my body. If you didn't know by now, your body plays the most important role in being a blogger. If you're physically in shambles then your mind will suffer because it's trying to over compensate and produce too much that it doesn't have. Plus with me working an actual physically demanding job I can't afford to fall off too much more. So I'm going to be working on that a lot more than I currently am and during that process I'm going to go through some extreme changes that's going to affect the way I operate. Like I said before, running a blog takes a lot and I won't be able to do that at that moment.

3. I need to do some house cleaning up in this peace. | There is so much content on this blog from over the years that I need to go back through and clean up a lot of posts. I have this very, very bad habit of just posting and going. Now that there are way more eyes than I would like on this place I know that I need to go ahead clean up all of the grammatical errors and copyrighted pictures while I can. I'm transitioning into the next phase and instead of deleting all of the things that actually made people come here, (and continue to come here), I'm going to go through and fix all of it and that takes time. I have a whole draft folder and as some of my close confidants know, it's A LOT of things in there as well. Basically I'm going to go just regroup a tad.

There are a couple of other reasons but those are the main ones that folks need to concern themselves with. It's just that time where every person who gets ready for the next level takes to reevaluate things and get stuff together. I'm not doing anything new that no one else hasn't done before. I know a lot of folks will miss me and what not but I promise I will still be around and I will still do stuff with my fellow creatives as I pointed out before. I'm not dropping off the face of the earth completely. I will post any feature, podcast or vlog that I grace for you all to keep you up to date with what's going on. I also decided to keep doing monthly updates just so that you all know that I'm alive and what not. So to that effect I will still be around doing stuff for other people that I believe in; just keep your eyes open for it.

Hope all of that clears up the air for you all. If you have any questions you know that you can just either leave a comment below or send me a message on outlet that I have. I'm here for you lol! I do want to apologize to folks to that I've recently passed up on in terms of opportunities, but it's been really hectic in the last month or two, but it's getting back to the schedule I'm use to. So I'll be back around, slowly but surely.

Until next time.

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November 2015

January 2016
February 2016
March 2016
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The House Party Situation

2016-10-21T00:00:00.000-04:00

Random story time ..

So I made a random trip to South Carolina with my friends the other night, and we ended up at some random persons house party. I've always loved going to house parties in South Carolina because typically they aren't filled with a bunch of foolishness. Everyone comes in with the notion of having fun and getting their dance on. When we arrived at this particular house party the people were in the early stages of chilling and drinking; the pregame lol.

I also should note that I'm not a drinker anymore, I say that to say this is one of the first times I actually sat back and had a couple of drinks. Which means that I got pretty drunk in a short amount of time. I haven't had a chance to be tipsy without any worries since college, so I just decided to go all in.

I had on sweat pants because I didn't know what we were doing when we left my house, (seeing as how it was a random trip and all). I wasn't looking like a bum though and no one at that part seemed to care anyways. I was actually wondering why people were calling this a house party instead of a kickback because no one was dressed up how they would normally be dressed like when they go to the club. I quickly realized why when the lights were dimmed and the music was cut on. Pretty much an hour into it we were all drunk in the dark basically and no one seemed to notice or care at that point.

So as I'm dancing, and just going with the flow, I noticed that there this was this one chick that was circling me all night that was talking to me off and on. Now I have to admit to you guys that I'm normally not the type pick up when a chick is hitting on me, at all. So for her to be circling me and for people to tell me after the fact that she was is pretty much a normal thing in my life lol. She was a pretty cute chick, about 5'8, pretty brown thang, you know those lovely Caribbean women folk that I adore so much.

After being at the party for however long we were there for, (at this point I've lost track of time and I'm slightly buzzed), she makes her way over to me again. At this point she's all up in my face talking because of the loud music and it being dark and all. It just so happens that at that point Sean Paul's We Be Burning comes on and that's one my favorite songs. So I'm getting hype and then the next thing you know she's dancing with me. Before I know it, Get Busy / Like Glue, Temperature and Give It Up To Me had come and we were all just having fun watching all the chicks do the dances, (which is always the best part of the party.

We all know it comes that time when it goes from being turnt into all that slow grinding mess. I say slow grinding mess because I can't dance and that's usually when I tap out and sit my behind down. So of course after the DJ, (who was killing it all night long), had that Sean Paul moment, he decided to play I'm Still In Love With You. After I stand up and try to slide to the wall all inconspicuous like, she followed me and said to me "nope, you're not sneaking away". I told her I can't really dance and she said that anyone could dance as long as the other person knew what they were doing.

So she proceeds to start dancing on me and I knew the Lord was calling me home right then and there. I just want to say that to all you Caribbean women that read this, stay away from me lol, ya'll hip rolls are too much for me.

This is where it gets interesting ..

In the midst of dancing, I get an erection. Yes for a moment I was that annoying dude at the club that gets a hard on that makes you women folk stop dancing with them. But apparently that didn't scare her off for one bit because what she proceeded to do even made me feel a little weird after the fact. I guess she felt it through my sweats big time, and sensed that I was trying to slide back some, so she pushes me up against the wall and proceeds to hit me with the nastiest grind that I ever had in my life.

She had the hip rolls, hand around the back of my neck, while she was kissing on the other side. At this point I stopped caring what was going on around me and what I was doing and fully embraced it. I forgot to point out that she was in a tank top and those jean booty shorts thing with her ass hanging out lol. So my hands were definitely all over places they shouldn't have been. As one of my homies that was with me described it as: "I thought ya'll were over there fuckin in the corner. I just turned back around and minded my own business at that point".

And here's the embarrassing part ..

My sweatpants slid down and I wear the under armor underwear, so that's basically like nothing at all. So as they slide down, I have the hardest dick ever and it was mostly disguised by my sweats. So when they slid down she felt pretty much every single thing and she loved it because bit my damn earlobe lol. Luckily it was dark in there because it would've looked really awkward to everyone else not us. But as she's dancing she runs her hand right down my crotch and grabs it and holds on to it for awhile.

But we finally stop dancing when her friends say they were leaving and she asked what we were doing after this and I told her that we weren't from the area and we were going to head back after. She invited us over to their apartment, (they were all roommates), so of course we went over there. What ended up happening is that we had sex and one of my homeboys got lucky as well, while the other one slept on the couch because the other one had a whole boyfriend.

Hey there's always that one sacrificial lamb out of the bunch lol.

And that's my story of how I was taken advantage of on the dance floor and it turned out to be a great night at the end of it all. It was all pretty random and further leads me to believe that the best things in life are the unplanned things. Oh and there is a part two to this story about what actually happened during that sex because it was funny to me and surprising to her, but that's for another day and time.

Hope you guys enjoyed, until next time.

Keep On Pushing

2016-10-19T00:00:00.000-04:00

In life we go through things that make us better.

I was checking out 10 Affirmations To Stay Positive When Life Is Not Going According To Plan, and I realized that while they had a great list, (which you can see by clicking on that link), I see I needed to clean it up and simplify it in my own words because it's a different meaning to me and in different order slightly. But at the end of the day it's all of the same thing, we need some sort of guide to get us off our butt sometimes because we don't know what to do all of the time or immediately. So below is how I got myself out of my stint in the gutter and I learned it through the hard way, I feel obligated to give you this list because it may help you when you at least expect it.

You never know when you need to read up on some kind words from a stranger that went through what you're going through now. So if you need this list, it's as followed:

1. Trust. | The first thing you have to do is develop trust in something. Whether it be yourself or whoever you pray for, you have to center your area of confidence. For me I trust in God and my abilities. If you're not confident in either of them then you will not be confident in your goals that you're trying to go after and achieve. Can't wash the dishes without the dish washing liquid, so you can't complete goals if you don't believe in yourself.

2. Meditate. | After you reaffirm your areas of trust then you can properly plan. But before you can properly plan you have to center yourself and your thoughts. When you're in the process of getting your mind back together, you have to get all of your thoughts in order. Most of the time when thinking of all of the things that you have to do, it overloads the senses and makes you feel overwhelmed and you can panic quick like that. Taking the time to think about all that you have to do and realizing that you can handle it as long as you stay calm is the direct result of this. This time is imperative to your mental and emotional stability.

3. Change Your Plans. | Things never go as planned and if someone tell you it does then they're simply lying or living within a delusional state of mind. Tweaking your plan is, has and will always be one of the main points of succeeding. You never just plan of a clear shot, you always plan for multiple outcomes and problems. This is where a lot of people fail because they believe that everything will go according to plan. As soon as you realize that life is fluid like water and can change with any tide, then the sooner you'll be more comfortable with going out after your goals.

4. Be Patient. | One thing that people lack is the understanding that things happen when they're suppose to happen, not when you want it to happen. That's another thing about the process of succeeding, you can put all the plans into motion that you want, but at the end of the day time is the ultimate winner. Sometimes it takes things longer to come to fruition than others, and sometimes it doesn't. The littlest of things can knock off the synchronization of your plans and it can be the ultimate deciding factor if your plans are time sensitive. Having patience to me is the ultimate sign of being able to manage tough times and situations. Being patient through your time of change will ultimately lead to your success and there's simply no way around that.

5. Stay Positive. | Once you get through all of those things and you're in the midst of being patient, you can't let your mind slip back to where it was before at the time you were struggling. Knowing that failure is very real is one thing, but believing that no matter what, in the end you will succeed is another. Having the positive mindset not only keeps you motivated and going, it shows the people around you that you're worth standing by. People will follow and support anyone they want as long as that person is confident enough to do it. Keep your head towards the sky and dream of all the great things that you want, it will eventually come true, one way or another.

6. Less Stress, More Blessings. | While staying positive is hard, one of the key things you need to do is to stop focusing on stress. Stressing over things will lead to wrinkles, grey hairs, no appetite and a very nasty attitude; trust me I know. Focusing on what he has given you and being thankful for that instead of stressed about what you don't have at the moment. I was always told that I never should stress over things that you don't have because it's not something that is impacting your life. Can't be stressed over something that you don't have yet, so there's no reason to forget about what you have.

7. Live Life. | You can't stop living your life when you're going through the process, you just can't. If you stop living your life and stay coupe up in the house then you won't be able to remember what you're working hard for. I know that some people feel like if you don't have any money then you shouldn't be going out, and that's just asinine. You're alive and you live and breathe just like everyone else, so you need the mental stimulation and the stress reliever to serve as a break, just like everyone else.

8. Just Go With The Flow. | All of those things combine to be the last piece of advice that needs to be practiced. When you're truly in that zone where no one or nothing can knock you off, then you can just go with what life gives you. At this point you're going to be applying all of this so well that anything bad that happens won't matter at all. Because you would be ready for it, you would be anticipating it, you will be ready to defeat it. So going with the flow will always be the best thing because you won't need to stress over anything that's going wrong or trying to bring you down. This is the best possible place that you can be when you get to that point of being the best version of you.

9. Faith. | At the end of the day, when you get to the point where you're just doing great and you have everything going for you, you have to turn around give it all back to where you got it from. You always have to stay within faith because he decided that he wanted to take you through some things that made you one of the best people around. So don't ever stray too far from faith because at the end of the day it can all be taken away in a blink of an eye. So make sure you stay within the graces of the good Lord and he will always make sure that he will give you the best possible way to succeed in life. I always keep the faith because there were some days where I didn't even want to wake up, but he did and I made it, and I'm forever thankful.

10. Testimony. | This is the reason why I blog. I failed multiple times over in life, mostly it was on my own accord, but here I stand. I've learned valuable lessons. Those same lessons can be learned and taught to people that may need to hear those words of reassurance that they too can make it through as well. I personally learn from others mistakes, so if I see someone giving their testimony then I will take heed of their words and apply them. I've done it so many times and I've avoided so many problems that way. So speak on what has brought you pain and hurt feelings, speak on what snapped you out of it and speak on how you were bought through it. You never know who will need to hear your words.

And that's how I got out of my funk, and with the encouragement of my friends and family. Those are two big groups that you need some support from as well. We all don't have that option so applying this list will be hard to do it alone, but it can be done. At the end of the day it's going to be up to you to make these changes happen, no amount of support in the world will mean anything if you don't have the conviction or will to change your out look on life and get a solid plan down pact. So just remember, trust in yourself, trust in God, believe that you can do it, actively practice it and just keep the faith and hope that you will make it while enjoying all of your blessings in life.

At the end of the day, nothing in life lasts that long and being unhappy is one of those things that will never survive if you can follow those things, God just won't allow it because he believes in you and he loves you all the same.

#BlackLivesMatter, Part 3

2016-10-17T00:00:00.000-04:00

Black Lives Matter was a great thing from the get go.

For the past couple of months I've been seeing nothing but slander towards the Black Lives Matter movement from various people over on Twitter. These thoughts pretty much centered on the fact that most of them feel as though the Black Lives Matter movement has done nothing more than gain from their own personal goals of self promotion. They feel like they only popped up in places where they could be in front of news cameras and on their television screens announcing some sort of side project that they are working on. They simply feel as though they are not properly represented by the organization any kind of positive light.

While these Twitter users are cranking up their thumbs to type paragraphs on how the Black Lives Matter movement is just another charade of someone taking advantage of a situation at the expense of black pain, no one can answer the one fundamental question: what are YOU doing to contribute towards the change you seek. It seems as though the same folks who choose to demonize and tear down the Black Lives Matter movement fail time and time again to show the tangible proof of their contribution to the change. Their rebuttals usually just circle back around to throwing insults at the movement instead of acknowledging their own shortcomings.

And while some feel this way about the movement, the majority doesn't actually.

The problem that most people have when they talk about the Black Lives Matter movement usually boils down to one thing: research. A lot of things that I see or talk to people about usually come from hearsay or something that they saw on Facebook. While Facebook is the best way to keep up with your family and long lost classmates it's hardly the source of anything factual in regards to dealing with something of this caliber. And we won't even touch on the whole hearsay topic other than that's the communication for the verbally weak people of this world.

But no, proponents of the BLM movement simply wish to complain about things that are usually untrue because it's the same kind of tactics that they see on a daily basis in regards to anything black that's associated with being good. You can look at how racists use the word thug as a new form of calling someone black a nigger. Then if you look closely you'll see how nine times out of ten they tact thug onto anything BLM oriented. This isn't just by coincidence or sheer luck, it's all done by design. It's a simple tactic deployed since the start of slavery here in the United States, and it's a tactic that won't ever change until something major happens.

Anything good and black in this country will always be sought out for destruction.

That's the one thing that those people arguing on Twitter will never get, they want us divided. You look at the many assassinations of key people that were in positions to cause a major shift in thinking. You look at how many times in history mass killings have happened to suppress growth in the black community. You can look at what you put in front of your eyes on a weekly basis with "ratchet TV Monday" and how that has effects on kids watch that thing and learn from what they think is the only way to success in this country. You can even look back on slavery when the slaves would sing their songs in the field while picking cotton. They were beaten if they were looking like they were enjoying themselves too much.

All of these things, all of this history, all of these social tests that are run, (and proven to be true), sit right in front of people's faces and yet they are further from the truth than ever before. When I'm asked if I think the Black Lives Matter movement is a sham I usually reply with "now I do". Because I wholeheartedly believe that the tactic of infiltrate, disrupt and destroyed was employed when the group came of prominence during the whole Mike Brown aftermath where he laid in the streets for hours and people needed a beacon to grasp onto.

Black Lives Matter was turning into a powerful movement, and for that they destroyed it.

Now the group may still be around and they may still be active, but they aren't what they could be for the simple fact that the key people, the people sitting at home behind their computer screens, can't seem to get off their asses to support something positive. There always has to be something wrong, no matter how big or how little that may be, they will tear you down for it. In a lot of ways those same people are doing what the powers at be want to do but in such a shorter time. They come together at the wrong time for the wrong cause, and then they are left wondering why no one is trying to help them when something bad happens to them.

Do Black Lives Matter? Yes they do; but they won't truly matter until we as a people come together as one and force the change that we want. No one is going to hand your freedom to you on a silver plate, you have to go out and fight for it. That's where the movements and the causes are lost, because no one wants to put in the leg work to do anything anymore. You may be sick and tire of all of the killings, not being able to advance at work properly or have enough food for your kids to eat at night. But what are you doing about it exactly? What protests, voting actions or marches do you help organize?

If Black Lives Matter is such a bad thing, then why aren't you out doing more of the good things?

Related Posts

#BlackLivesMatter

#BlackLivesMatter, Part 2

Invest In Self, Part II

2016-10-07T00:00:00.000-04:00

I never took a straight path nowhere.
Life's full of twist and turns,
Bumps and bruises, I lived .. I learned.

- 50 Cent

When I wrote the Invest In Self last year people pretty much loved it, a lot. The column wasn't long and it wasn't filled with a bunch of useless sentences. It was what it was, straight and to the point. That's because the point was relayed by simply reading the title, but in case you didn't get it the from that column or this one's title then I'll say it again: invest in yourself! I mean seriously, at the end of the day if you all you do is crowd around someone else' life, whether it be your significant other, friends, strangers, whoever, then you'll end up hurting yourself in the long run by not developing any kind of personal skills or hobbies. Eventually people will stop returning your phone calls, texts, social media messages and even emails when they realize that you have nothing better to talk about. People really do get tired of talking about drama and other people's lives at some point and they start living their own. And when that day comes your usefulness will have run it's course. If you feel some kind of way about anything I just said then that means you know it's true deep down in your heart and it's probably a sign that you need to change something.

Fortunately for you that's obtainable as soon as you start acting on it. You're probably asking yourself where can you start or how do you start this process? Well you probably figure out what it is that you like that involves growing yourself mentally, spiritually or emotionally. You can do things that you've never done before in your life. I've found that doing things that you've never done before really gets you closer to knowing yourself and adding things to your life that makes you better and adds excitement. No one likes the mundane way of living life, why not go out and just do stuff because. I know a lot of people aren't able to do that, but there are a lot of things that you can do that fits into your life, all you have to do is research. This was more so for the people that don't have anything going for themselves outside of the realm of being miserable.

There are a lot of things that you can do to enhance your life that doesn't require validation from any other human being on this planet. As an example I decided to scrap all my books and recreate my whole library and add valuable pieces from black authors. I also started supporting up and coming artists by buying their artwork and that adds to my work space that I'm trying to put together. So in this situation I not only increased my critical thinking by adding books that encourage that, I'm adding to creativeness by surrounding myself with works of art from other creative artists. The bonus to all of that is my office will look really cool when it's all said and done. It's possible to better yourself without you feeling like you need people to validate you. All you have to do is realize you need to do better by you and start working on it today.

Until next time.

Related Posts

Invest In Self

Suicidal Thoughts

2016-10-06T00:00:00.000-04:00

See the lord adore me,
He met me half way,
'No guts, no glory' I always say.
So until I reach what I came here to find,
Along with inner peace, life will always be a grind.

- Kid Cudi

Yes, I contemplated suicide at one point in my life.

One of my favorite artists by the name of Kid Cudi checked himself into rehab for depression and suicidal thoughts. First and foremost I'm proud of him for addressing situations that have been in his life since forever. His music relied heavily on it, (as he used it as his source of inspiration), and he's created some masterpieces. But just like all genius level talent, he was bound to hit the proverbial brick wall. That's what happens to every single person with unresolved mental health issues, we eventually hit the wall and crash. That's what happened to me, I hit that same wall and everything that I loved turned to dust when I touched it. It wasn't everything and everyone was out to get me, it was simply because the issues that I swept under the rug for so many years came to a head when I was finally hitting my stride and becoming happy with myself. That may sound strange to some people but when you get to a certain point in life where things are going smooth, you start having these thoughts that doubt the validity of it all. And that's where you start to lose yourself to those demons that you've hid away for so long.

Most people who don't suffer from any form of mental illness will just sit there and wonder while reading this "well why didn't you just focus on all of the good things you had going on in your life?" or just question the seriousness of all the negative thoughts plaguing ones mind. But those same people don't understand what it's like to be broken down so much that you get to this level of life where you just expect negative things to always happen because that's what that person is use to. Life is all about how you've lived it and perceive it based on those same life lessons. A person who typically is treated well and has no idea what it's like to be abused mentally, physically or both won't understand a person who's been locked away in a closet for most of their lives. That's why so many African American families struggle because there are so many traditions and customs that were built on being mentally degrading to us.

And one custom that almost destroyed me came in form of one line: "suck it up and move on".

When I heard those lines echoed to me every single day, it became instilled in my brain that men aren't supposed to be mentally weak or show any kind of weakness period. That in turn ruined so many relationships with so many people because I didn't allow myself that room to understand people and their emotions and where they were coming from. It was either you were with the program or you were out of it, plain and simple. It was like that for YEARS before I came across one ex-girlfriend who recognized that after having a very open conversation about how I viewed relationships and people in general. It was at that point I realized that I need to get it together and actually start interacting with people on the personal level that friendships are intended to be. And let me tell you, I struggled a couple of more years after that because I didn't understand why people did half of the dumb things that they did. When my life started bottoming out I did the one thing no one should ever do, I made the rash decision to join the military.

Now while I contribute the Army as the driving force for me getting my act semi together, it really tore me down to the point where I wanted to kill myself. That is the first time I've ever admitted that outside of the army, no one knows that. It wasn't that the Army was a place that treated me bad because I knew what time it was when I signed on the dotted line, it was just the fact that I had so much time to live within my thoughts and really think on my life. People who've known me way before the Army knew me as this happy go lucky and cheerful skinny guy, who didn't have a care in the world. When I came back home from Iraq though I was this hulking mass of a mean human that didn't want anything to do with anyone. Shortly before I left for Iraq I was in place where I honestly wanted to kill myself. I'm not talking just thoughts or wishes, I went as far as planning the whole thing and visualizing how people reacted at my funeral when I was gone.

Thinking about killing myself was the lowest moment in my whole entire life.

The funny thing about that though was the fact that I didn't think anything was wrong with it. I just chalked it up to living within my own mind and not actually going to go through with it. Once I had that whole scenario in my head, it played continuously and non-stop my whole entire time in the military. Coupled with the fact that I worked so much that I developed insomnia, the only thing that would help me get through the night was if I ate so much that I would force my body to shut down and fall asleep til the next morning. That worked at first but it didn't last for that long; and with it not lasting that long, I ate more and more. Then came the alcohol where I drank way more than people realize or even know. Then came the prescription pills that started abusing heavily when I was deployed and when I came back. All of this led to me being anti-social and reserved. I didn't want the people who I knew loved and care for me see me in the state that I was in. My life was a mess and I was spiraling downwards toward death; I honestly wanted to kill myself but I was too coward to do anything about it.

Then I grasped on the notion that I needed to get away from the Army and that it was the source of all my problems. While it contributed to it greatly, it was barely the source of any of my problems mentally. But when I left I made all of these vows and promises that I was going to do this, that and the fourth. But when I got out, I still struggled and I still found myself in some pretty terrible situations. But as a lot of people in my personal life know, (and people who read my blog), I met this pretty fantastic young lady who happened to be well versed in mental health awareness. I really liked her, she really changed my life for the better during the short amount of time she was in it. But she really pushed for change and I didn't actually participate in it until it was too late for her and I anymore. I eventually went into therapy and honestly it was the best thing that I've could have done for myself at that point. Therapy really changed the way I looked at things and how I operated.

Honestly, therapy saved my life.

Yes I just quoted one of my old blog posts here lol; but it's still true to this day. I suffer from depression and anxiety and no one close to me knows this fact outright. I don't really want to talk about it either honestly because it makes me feel weird to talk about past situations that I don't deal with anymore. I mean mental health isn't something that can be cured, and I do struggle with these thoughts from time to time, I feel as though I'm moving in a better direction and pace than I was before. Folks don't like to have productive conversations about things like this, they just want to know and judge you because they either don't go through it themselves or they don't want to face their own problems. Either way I don't want to deal with those people for that simple fact. I'd rather have my same support system and keep going to therapy where I know I'll have productive talks and practices catered to my situation and not what someone else thinks I should be doing.

And that's the point of all of this, there will be people in your life, (talking to you person struggling with mental health), that will say you need to do all of these things that do not help you. They will tell you that you have to man up or you have to hide it as to not bring any negative attention to yourself or anyone dealing with you. That's just the way the world is setup, everyone wants to act like nothing bad is happening when in fact the world is burning down around them. They never want you to take care of yourself until it's too late, then all of those questions of why you didn't take care of yourself before this happened. Well to you I'll say forget all of them and what they're saying and go get the help you need. All of us won't need the same help as the next person, it depends on what's been going on in your life and how you've been copping with it. Do yourself the favor and better yourself so that your days can turn around and you can live a happier life for YOU.

Because at the end of the day it's your mind and your mind alone that matters, no one else is going to take care of it like you can and will.

My Sad Sexual Frustrations

2016-10-05T00:00:00.000-04:00

I will admit here today that I'm solely attracted to hood rats.

Now I know that's not the correct term to use for a woman, but right now I'm calling it what it is. I don't know why I'm attracted to them or where this attraction came from, (more than likely from where I grew up), but it's a thing. And it's not the whole mental and spiritual level of attraction, no it's strictly physical. For some reason when I have sex with a woman that's classified as a hood rat I'm more or less, sexually liberated. Now when I say that I don't mean I'm out here having sex with them and I let them stick a thumb in my ass, no I mean there's a little bit more roughness to it. I'm not talking about punching them in the face and leaving bruises like on some 50 Shades of Grey type stuff, more so it's just more physical and to the point. Plus it's more interactive in the sense that she engages and she takes control in certain situations. That's the part that stimulates me the most, when she knows what she wants and she's just as aggressive as I am when she wants to take it.

When I have sex with "prettier" women or a woman I'm attracted to on different levels, it's kind of boring to be completely honest. I always find myself doing all of the work and if I do something a little bit out of the norm we have to have a conversation that lasts entirely too long about why I did it. That kind of stuff gets old relatively fast and it's rare that you just don't have that person you're attracted to on that level that doesn't over think every little thing in that regards. Now I know a lot of women would look at that statement and scoff at it because they feel that it isn't true when it comes to them at least, but how would they really know? I mean we all have our different definitions of what we like and what we think is "out there", but if you never talked about it with a partner, then how could you possibly know? Then a lot of the women actually hold back because they think that it's worth saving until marriage or that it would be giving away too much before later. But I have a little news flash for those women that think that:

The sex isn't what keeps a man around and if it is then you need to reevaluate your relationship.

I mean it all goes back to my saying that if you got what you want all of the time then life wouldn't be worth living. But sometimes I can't help but think what it would be like if I had a women that actually did all of the things that I like sexually and had all of those other intangible characteristics that would make me want to stay past the morning after. It's a little annoying and frustrating when I think about it because there are women out there who have the perfect combination of carefree, common sense, savage and loyalty. To be honest, even the women that I was madly in love with at one time was not what I wanted completely sexually; the emotional connection amplified everything by a hundred so I'll never know how truly great or bad it was; so she doesn't count lol. But for the most part, if they were worth something emotionally, I wasn't too moved when we had sex. But to reiterate, that's just me and how I perceived each encounter.

I'm pretty sure that there are those that are asking the question, "well what were you doing that was so great in the first place"? I could answer that question multiple times over but they wouldn't care because they'll be so set in trying to debunk MY feelings towards these sexual encounters that it would be like trying to tell Trump that he indeed has to pay taxes like the rest of us. But this is just MY sexual life and it's not all been bad, but in this regards having the best of both worlds has alluded me up to this point and I don't foresee that changing anytime soon. Which is sad because I would love to do some nasty things with the woman I like a lot on all those levels I mention without being chastised or having to write a twelve page essay explaining why I love eating it from the back after I give her a couple of back shots. But oh well, that's life I suppose, you're let down the most by the things that you think should be the simplest things to obtain.

I'll just wait patiently until God decides he wants to bless me with that perfect nasty woman.

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 10 | 112

2016-10-04T00:00:00.000-04:00

Q, Mike, Slim, Daron!

To me, in my own honest opinion, 112 was one of the last great R&B acts before the genre turned into the cluster fuck it is today. Pardon my language but that's just how I feel about the current mainstream focus of R&B. Billboard completely tossed it into the wind by adding grouping it with Rap and letting artists into the genre who have zero to do with it. But that's another story for another time, what is here and now is the fact that 112 pretty much bridged the 90's R&B sound all the way up until the early 2000's when music was making that turn into what it is today. Of course they came together earlier than that, but to last as long as they did, (even rumored to be making an album currently), is quite impressive. Of course like anyone else in my age range and older, I have plenty of fond memories of these guys and their songs.

I actually didn't start listening to 112 fully til after I got the CD from my brother to burn back in the day; (he was always the source of music I ended up liking). It was with their debut CD 112 that I really took the time to listen to them. Thankfully it only took me about eight years after their debut to catch on to their greatness. But it was rather sad that by time I really got into the groove of their non radio hits, the band was already on it's way out of the door. With all great acts they had a slew of hits that would resonate with whatever mood you were in. I would list all of the hits that they had but where would the fun in that be if you didn't go and check them out. If there was one CD from their discography that I HAD to suggest to you it would definitely be Part III. To me that's the best CD that they've ever came out with. Maybe that's because that's the time I was really getting into music or whatever, that CD is definitely worth the listen.

When I think of R&B acts and how they should be, 112 is one of the first groups that come to mind. It's sad that time in music is over right now, but hopefully one day one of them can help find the new wave of R&B acts that can transcend the music scene like how they came into the game. Personally I'll keep playing them in my slow jam rotation for as long as it's humanly possible. But as I was saying, if you want to check them out then start with Part III. Their debut album is also great as well.

Until next time!

My Favorite R&B Artists Series

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 1 | Boyz II Men

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 2 | R. Kelly

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 3 | Rihanna

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 4 | Maxwell

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 5 | New Edition

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 6 | Whitney Houston

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 7 | Dru Hill

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 8 | Ginuwine

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 9 | Jazmine Sullivan

October 2016

2016-10-03T00:00:00.000-04:00

Here we are.

2016 has been one of those years that we can't wait to get out from under it's cruel and cold clutches. Right from the get go there were murders and big name deaths that sent shock waves throughout the country. While there have been some good things it just seems like for the most part the world just can't seem to get it right on any level. While I am truly thankful for all of the racial tension and issues that seem to expose all of the closet racists and people who I thought were supportive, I'm ready for a change towards peace and calm. While I know that peace and existence will never go hand in hand as long as people are hung up on all of the little things that don't matter, I still have hope that we can get it right. Unfortunately as the weather becomes a bit colder, things in this country will become a little worse. We all know that most people can't operate under the confines of cold weather, it looks as if it will be a long winter on the horizon.

But even with 2016 being complete and utter trash, we have to carry on. We can't let things slow us down and hinder us from living our lives. If we do that then we surrender to the terror and that's what they want. For the past month and some change I haven't been on the top of my game, and I've been called out for that repeatedly over the last couple of weeks. Now I could point out all of my real life problems that supersede anything that I do on this blog, but deep down inside I know that I would only be making excuses. If there's on person that can handle doing a lot of different things at one time, it's me. I know how to balance life with the best of them and lately I've just let life do what it wants with me and that's not cool at all. But you know how it goes sometimes, you just have to go with the flow of the river to see where the current takes you down stream.

But I've ridden the waves long enough. With my impending mini retirement from posting new columns I realize that I have to go hard over the next three months to give you guys the best that I have. I want to end this year on a very high not blogging wise, because that's just the right thing to do. I know that I've been making a lot of promises the past couple of months that I haven't been keeping, I really didn't anticipate a lot of things going the way that they did, but I'm ready none the less to step up and handle my business. Someone also reminded me how important my voice was in terms of speaking about the things that are going on and I didn't take those words lightly at all.

So right here and now I'm labeling October as the bounce back month for me. I know a lot of people are counting on October being a big month for them so I wish everyone well on that front. I plan on coming with heat so be on the lookout for some really great blog posts from my archives and some really fresh ones. Also make sure that you keep an eye for my Medium page because I'll be post a couple of things on there from now on. I'm really excited to get back to doing work and being that blogger that you all have gotten use to and who you hold to a higher standard.

Let's do work.

Related Posts
October 2015

January 2016
February 2016
March 2016
April 2016
May 2016
June 2016
July 2016
August 2016

September 2016

Dear Black Bloggers: If You Should Die ..

2016-09-22T00:00:00.000-04:00

So this post is going to seem a bit morbid, but it needs to be said.

It's no secret that we live in very trying times. Between being broken down on the side of the road, sitting in your car reading a book, being a kid mistaken for a grown man in a robbery chase or even kneeling during the national anthem as a form of silent protest, people of color are still being killed in this country. It's sad to think that one day we're here and it's no guarantee that we will be the next day; that's just the harsh reality of it all. Being black in America has always been a crime since day one; it's just that these days there seems to be a green light for people to be able to kill us and walk free without any repercussion.

I've stated time and time again that we as bloggers and black twitter at the two most important forms of communication that get our points across. With major news outlets either refusing to report on stories that clearly show what we're protesting for or they find a way to twist the story and put it on the victim, black bloggers are key to getting the right message out there in a timely manner. But as we all know many different people and agencies like to either silence that word or discredit the person behind them. But through it all we as black bloggers continue to push the good word and spread positivity throughout our communities. Either way you look at it, black bloggers these days are doing a lot more good than harm.

But have you taken the time to think about what if you were the one die next?

I mean as bad as that question comes off it's true that a lot of us have thought that we could indeed be the next on the news. And when that day does come, will your words be silenced and eventually fade away into oblivion? Or will your words be heard forever and you will be able to spread your voice and your positivity to the ears of the people that need to hear it the most? This is something that I think about all of the time when I go through my drafts and try to find the perfect columns to complete for the week ahead. It's always along the lines of what would happen to the hundreds of ideas that I've curated since I started writing here on Cold Knowledge and even before that.

Personally speaking I think I have a lot of great ideas that I would like to see put to good use if I never get the chance to use them. But the main problem, (and the same problem that haunts a lot of black creatives), with getting these ideas situated and all done is time. I just don't have the amount required to sit down and complete them as I should. In addition to that, another big problem that I face is that I don't really trust anyone with said ideas. Whether it's doing right by them and creating them the way that I want it to be created, (possibly better), or trust them enough not to steal them and mark them as their own.

And while a lot of us feel both of these ways, we have to get over it.

If we don't get out of this way of thinking then we run the risk of some pretty great ideas and pieces getting lost to the test of time. It's the equivalent of writings from the time before computers being lost to fires, water damage or just plain old wear and tear. The good thing about living in today's times is that we have the ability to save things to the internet or the cloud. But what good would that serve if no one will be able to ever access it because they don't have the password or they forget all about it. Losing your writings to the test of time would be a disservice to the people who need to hear your words the most. I stand by the motto that if just one person is affected positively by your words, then you've done your job.

That's why you have to setup some form of fail safe for possibility of you dying at a random moments notice. I've decided to upload my whole entire collection of writings to my Google Drive and give three people I trust more than life access to it with specific instructions should I die an early death. While I'm very protective of my writings I know also that I write some pretty cool things and I have some really outstanding ideas on stuff that I'm working on. And should something happen to me I would rather someone else have access to it to do something good with it. Life happens to the best of us and the only thing we can do is prepare for that moment, should it arises.

If anything you should have it backed up on the cloud or online for safe keeping should your laptop die on you.

While this may have started off as morbid, I hope you listen to my words about safe guarding your words and having them backed up somewhere so that someone can spread your creativeness across the globe long after you're gone. I'm more so disappointed in myself that it took so long for me to realize this and only after something significant had to happen to one of my brothers on order to cause change. But we're here at this point for a reason and I'm not going to argue with it at all. I pray that nothing happens to anyone and that you all can continue creating in peace. I want to see everyone fulfill their potential while they're here and not respected for it after they're gone.

Until next time.

A Grown Ass Woman Or Nah

2016-09-16T00:00:00.000-04:00

This should be good.

Usually when I write these things, there's really no point involved because they are most likely pretty ridiculous and outside the realm of what it is normal. I also try to write these "reaction post" type deals sparingly because they usually get on my nerves towards the end of writing them. But this time around someone sent me this one in particular that seemed pretty interesting for the most part. And by interesting I mean it supplies enough content that makes sense for me to debate the true effects of it in the real world.

The article in question is called 21 Ways You Know You Are Dating A Grown Ass Woman. Now right off gate the title suggests that a man has finally found a woman that is worth settling down with because she portrays a certain type of behavior that goes along the lines of "normal" and "easy going" looks like. I give the author credit because even though most of them I have a dispute for, they are pretty much on par for what a grown ass woman is supposed to look like. But you know me, this wouldn't be a reaction article if I didn't have some kind of quarrel.

So without further ado:

1. What she brings to the table, she doesn’t use as a weapon or a bargaining tool for power. Whether she makes more than her man or less than him, he still feels every bit of man throughout their relationship. | Yea, I wish this was true. I mean this sounds nice and all, but at the end of the day this will become a problem. I haven't seen a situation where a woman respects a man that made less than her, regardless of what they say out of their mouth. There will be some kind of undertone to them and there will be feelings that you can do better because your man makes less. One would assume that if a man can take care of a his woman then it would be all great. But in this day and age, you simply never know with folks anymore. I mean hell, even Oprah never married Steadman ..

2. She is her own person with her own interests outside of you. She has hobbies. She has girlfriends. She’s active in her community, her job, her church, her organization affiliations. She does not need to be attached to your hip to feel complete. | This one here is tricky. I mean for the most part this is what I want from a woman, one with her own goals and life outside of the relationship. Nothing is more annoying than having someone up under you 24/7 not doing a thing with their life. Personally I think that's the deciding factor with me, a woman with no goals or life of her own. She's simply happy with being in a relationship and nothing else; sad and creepy at the same time too. I had a relationship once before where she and I had our own life and goals. It ended due to the fact that we were both too busy for each other; the irony.

3. If she has a child from a previous relationship, she’s not keeping the child from the father out of spite. | Another tricky one. Emotions are different from every single person. So to say that someone is doing something that carries heavy emotional implications is a bit redundant to me. Only for the simple fact that you don't know what every single person is thinking or feeling about a certain individual or situation. I would take this one for a grain of salt until you actually talk to that person after building a great relationship with them. Then and only then can you judge the situation by being able to see what he's doing and hear what she's thinking.

4. She knows that you can’t read minds so she’s able to effectively communicate with you. When you ask her, “what’s wrong?”, she doesn’t lie and say “nothing” knowing good and well she’s hot as fish grease. | OK just wait a damn minute, this is first lie on the list. I don't care what you're going to say, women are going to women, and this is one thing you can never hope and expect from one. I've known the smartest and at least semi-rational women on this planet and even they still act like this. No one is perfect and instead of saying that they will never act like this is nothing more than a fallacy, The correct thing to say here is that if you're lucky then you'll have a woman who does this at least once or twice in life. Or if she does, its because she's one argumentative or wanting to always be right type of women.

5. You can get a cooked meal out of her. Like a real cooked meal. Even if she hates cooking or doesn’t know how to cook, she will do so for you. | We're back on track with this one. This one is true and I know it to be true from personal experiences. As a person who knows how to cook and takes the time to do so, I know from first had experiences that cooking is a really tedious task to complete. So I think whenever a person cooks, period, it's a special kind of deal. Luckily there are more women that know how to cook than men, because lets face it, cooking takes a delicate touch that only a woman has. Men will literally burn down the kitchen trying to cook anything other than grilled foods. So this is one that I can fully agree on and thoroughly appreciate at the same time.

6. She knows how to pick her battles. | I don't even know what this means lol.

7. She’s not insecure or jealous of your relationship with your boys, or with your family, or with your children if you have some from a previous relationship. That one female friend that is ACTUALLY your home girl, she’s not jealous of her either. The women that swoon over you, is no sweat off her brow. Inside, she’s thinking, “they should swoon, I got a good ass man!” | This is sound and logical here, no matter how much people think it is illogical. I've actually had a girlfriend who was like this for the most part because she knew who I was and how I didn't care at all for the women that were hitting on me. Hell it even happened when she was right there with me one time, (granted she gathered the whole lady, but still). But make no mistake while she was cool, she was still with the shits, and that means she was still aware of who was hitting on me. When one got too friendly she let it be known. So this statement is cool, but only to a certain point.

8. Those dreams you have? She supports and speaks life into them. Whether you’re trying to climb the corporate ladder or expand your car repair shop, she has your back. | Now this one is probably the truest one of them all, if you find the right woman. An unhappy person is still going to be an unhappy person at the end of the day. But if you find a woman that is truly on your side at the end of the day then you'll win more than you'll ever lose in life. There's a certain special power that relies within a woman and her support of her man. It's just like an extra wind when you feel like you can't complete a race. Nothing will ever compare to a woman that is fully behind you.

9. She doesn’t let social media influence her relationship or interactions with you. | Eh, this kind of goes hand in hand with the whole jealousy thing to me. Too many times you can't control what strangers, (or people you actually know in real life), from making some sort of remark to you. And more times than not a comment can be misconstrued if you don't know the context behind it. Plus there could be someone that can come along and say something messed up about you to her and she'll at least have it on her mind to ask you and depending on how you answer will dictate how she feels about it. But to say that social media has no influence is a bit of a stretch to me.

10. She doesn’t let her friends and family have much or any input into your relationship. And on the rare occasion she does, she has sense enough to seek out the friend who isn’t miserable, bitter and unable to give sound, rational advice. | This is key. If you can find a woman that has enough sense to do this, NEVER LET HER GO. Too many times women reach out to those people that are miserable or they don't have their best interest in mind. That's why a lot of the time I'm the go to guy for a lot of my female friends because they trust my input not only as someone who has their best interest in but also they know that I'm going to give the proper perspective of someone level headed. Like I said if you can find a woman that can do this very thing, then you my friend, have a winner on your hands.

11. There’s peace when dealing with her. Everything is not always a battle. She’s rarely ever combative. When you ask her a direct question, 95% of the time she gives you a direct answer. | This is another key thing to have when dealing with a woman. Most of the time us men, (and I can totally generalize in this case), will not know what the hell you're talking about most of the time. I use to think that I was one of the few to know when things were wrong and that when something needed to be done. But that may not be the case, I was humbled a couple of times and learned not to assume a lot of feelings that weren't there. This is one of the things that I actively look for when I'm dating a nice young lady; someone that's not going to give me a whole bunch of unnecessary arguments about literally nothing.

12. She has let you know what she wants in a relationship from the beginning and is HONEST about it. If she knows she wants to get married in the future, then she dates to marry. She doesn’t play any games about this. She doesn’t cross her fingers and hopes she can magically turn a serial playboy into a future husband. | I can say for the most part that I've personally never known any woman to date just for the hell of it. I can say that this is true for most women. So I have no problems with this statement at all. It's rare that you find a woman that says she wants to just be friends and actually mean it. The problem is actually getting the woman to admit what her motives are. That can be said about anyone actually, because at the end of the day, putting yourself out there isn't as easy as most think it is. Even if you're in a solid relationship.

13. What she asks for you to bring to the table, she can bring to the table as well. She wants you to be a good communicator? She’s one. She wants you active in the community? She is. She wants a God-fearing man? She’s a God-fearing woman. | This one I will agree with. Most of the time when you're dealing with someone that isn't ready to be with someone but scared to admit it, you will always have a lot of disconnect between the two of you. The one thing a woman who knows what she wants and who she is that she will always be that person that meets you at the table and does exactly what she says. Because come hell or high water, if she has to leave said table, then she will with no problem. That's because all of those things that she bought to the table and laid out only means that she tried her best and you simply didn't meet your end of the bargain.

14. If she has children from a previous relationship, she didn’t introduce them to you all willy-nilly. After she did a background check on you and began dating you with a future in mind, THEN and only then, she brought you around them. | I don't have any personal experience in the matter but I've seen a lot of times where this isn't the case. For some reason that's the first thing women do around here and they're so anxious about doing it too. It almost happened to me once and when I told her that wasn't a good idea, she got mad at me and stopped talking to me. People don't guard their kids these days as they should and if a woman does in fact take her time introducing you to her kids, it's because she's being smart about it and she's a great parent.

15. Texting is not her only form of communication with you. But she’s not a tight wad about it. She understands that it may be much easier and more fitting to shoot a text than to have a phone convo. | I don't see this as much of a problem if you live in the same city. But sometimes a text is the best thing and if she realizes this then she understands how you operate and won't make a big fuss over it because she knows she'll see you sooner than rather than later. But in terms of texting as a main form of communication, it's not really a big deal because if you're on your game then texting isn't going to be your thing either. But it's always nice to have that understanding right there for you.

16. Her butt and breasts are not all over social media. In 3 years at your bachelor’s party, your best man will not pull out his phone to show you a picture of her behind tooted up on her bathroom sink. | Hahaha, the whole wave of body posi going on all over social media seems to be the new thing. But trust me, I'm not interested in a woman that has her goods all over the internet and that's just my personal preference. So this is going to be one less thing that I have to worry about when I get older. Plus if my best man ever did something like that I would probably kill him and hang his body on a light pole with a note attached to it saying what he done and everyone will understand why I did it.

17. She acts like a lady and thinks like one too. She understands no man wants his woman thinking like him. | We all have places, a man should do the things that men should be doing for his woman and vice versa. While she may understand my mindset, I don't want her thinking like I do. This will also be a thing because she's not going to compromise herself for the sake trying to be more in tune for her man. She knows that she does certain things for a certain reason and that's where things should stay.

18. She’s not trying to change you when she introduces you to something new. She’s merely just keeping things interesting and your date life fun. | I agree with this wholeheartedly. A great woman isn't here to change you or mold you into the man that she wants, she simply wants to add to you. This type of woman will know what you won't try and what you're willing to try. This is another thing I can get behind because I've personally experienced it, (when I wasn't being a butt head). This is another thing if a woman shows you she can do, means you should keep her around.

19. She doesn’t play the “waiting game” but would never dare give you an ultimatum to marry her (See #12). She understands men are ready for marriage at a different pace. She may ask you about it and depending on the answer is when she makes a decision if needed. | This is also a great one because she knows that men aren't ready to jump the gun like most women are but at the same time she does just enough to nudge you along the right path. Once gain, as I said before, men are kind of slow when it comes to a lot of things, so it doesn't hurt when women nudges us along slowly but surely. I don't mind this one at all.

20. She’s your sounding board. You are free to talk about anything with her. You can throw ideas off her. You can vent. You can complain about your bad day at work. You can express your anger, pain, hurt, happiness with her. | This is very true, but it has it's limitations. One of the unfortunate by products of my bad breakup was the revelation that I talked too much about me and didn't listen to enough of her. So it's key to have this but also with us men it's key to realize that it's about her just as much as it's about you. But the fact that she's a listener and realizes that men need that time to talk to is key as well.

21. If you’re a good man, she knows she’s winning with you. You never have to question if she appreciates you. | This is the the biggest and most important thing and a good woman will indeed acknowledge such things by subtle actions or out right saying it to your face. Most of the time when two people date, that's all they do. They don't take the time to get to know each other and see the good in the other person. I know women can see the potential in a man but most can't see when a man is making the effort or when he's not. So when she sees that you are a good man who's actually making an effort, that man has earned a rider for life. I have no problems backing this statement.

Most of these I have no problem with. Honestly if the lingo was different for the ones I disagreed with then I wouldn't have a problem with this list at all. For the most part you have to just know who your partner is after learning about yourself. If you manage to make it that far with a beautiful woman that knows who she is and what she brings to the table, then you're in it for the long haul. It's not going to be perfect every single day, (reasons why I disagreed with some), but in the end it will all be worth it.

What do you think about the list and my thoughts on each one? Leave it in the comments below; I'm interested in hearing what you have to say.

Until next time!

Destroy & Rebuild: The Love That Broke Me

2016-09-14T00:00:00.000-04:00

You'll never love someone like your first true love.

I usually don't talk about the one love that changed way that I look at everything now. The main reason I don't go back to that time or that person is because it doesn't benefit me to dwell on failing at something I really wanted to succeed at. Like everything in my life I take the bumps and learned about the lessons that come with them but other than that, I keep it out of my mind and out of my sight. That's just who I am; a person that leaves the past in the past but carries the lessons learned forward into the next situation. But I wasn't always like this, I wasn't always the person that applied learned lessons and I surely wasn't the person that always saw room for growth or opportunity. I didn't always have hope.

I'm going to be quite frank here with what I'm about to say and honestly that's something that I've struggled with for a long time. A lot of people always ask me about what happened or ask me about how I feel currently and every single time I give them the same answers. I NEVER give the honest answer because most people just want to be nosey and don't care about my personal wellbeing. They just want something to talk about or have some sort of glimpse into the life of guy who's kept everything to himself for most of it. Here on this blog I'm pretty clear with each post in the sense that I tell a story strictly about what I want you to know. I can write multiple blog posts about one situation or a single conversation that I have with someone; that's my talent. I can pull lessons out of any and everything if I really wanted to.

But today I'm going to talk about the woman who I loved more than life itself and how I ruined it.

Now I will be the first person to tell you that I sabotage relationships, a lot. Apparently I give off the impression that I get hurt in relationships and that most of mine end in a blaze of glory. I can tell you right now that isn't true, even in the slightest of sense. To be honest, (from what I can remember), every single relationship that I've ever had prior to my last two I've ended because I wasn't in it mentally anymore. While at the time the woman I was dating hated me to no end and wished every bad thing under the sun, she eventually came to respect me because I didn't waste her time like most men. Although a couple of them are married now there isn't one that couldn't come to me and have an honest conversation about anything for the simple fact that I respected them enough to tell them that I wasn't there anymore and I respected them enough to tell them that and just leave.

I say all that to point out the fact that I wasn't mentally or emotionally progressing at all because I always clocked out or ran away when it was time to face a problem. That lasted for years until I had one ex, (neither of the two mentioned earlier), that flat out told me that I needed work on being more emotionally available and that I couldn't keep running from commitment the way I was use to doing. I realized that she was right and I made a concentrated effort to improve that front. After that ended for the same reasons as all the others I met another ex, (also not either mentioned before), and tried to do better. That as well ended the same way as the others. I realized that I couldn't succeed any relationship because I was never really emotionally invested in any of them.

That was until I met the first of my last two exes. One was the woman I always wanted when I was in college, but it simply never worked out. Well some odd years later and some major life events on both of our parts we managed to come together once more. This was the first relationship that I was fully vested in emotionally for the simple fact that it was something I really wanted. Now I'm not going into details about what happened but let's just say something major happened that really changed me and the way that I viewed relationships. For a little while I really hated the idea of ever being with one woman. I made myself believe that love wasn't real and that commitment was just a facade created to keep you chasing what someone else’s idea of love really was. To be honest I even started to question God if he was even real and if he was then I question his purpose for me.

Then I met her ..

You think you know what love really is until you actually run across it. When you run across it you don't really feel it until one day when you sit back and you just look at that person and realize that there's nowhere else on this planet that you'd rather be than next to them. You hear all the time how you literally see the whole entire world in a different light when you're in love. The days are a little brighter, the grass a little greener, the breeze is a little gentler and your beats a little bit more calmly. Well that was me, I was that happy when I was with her. Every single negative thing that I experienced in my life in regards to love forever changed. When that came along I just knew that it was the love sent to save me before I destroyed myself.

It wasn't anything over the top that she was doing; it wasn't anything regarding special treatment or anything like that. It was the simplicity of it all that made me feel the way I did. In a mind where there are a million thoughts coming across it at a second she made it all seem so clear. But then things happened, both in my control and out of it, and it ended; just like that. Of course I went through my days of not eating and being super stressed out and tripping over it. I spent a lot of time to myself and I was very distant from people even when I was around them. But once I got over it and started to look back at what got me to that point and what I did wrong, I started to understand myself more and more.

I finally started to realize and accept who I am: a man that loves.

In a time where people love out of necessity instead of because it feels right in their heart, I'm a person that doesn't do that. And it's not just relationships that I'm referring to; it's every single aspect of my life. I realize that I was settling too much in every aspect of my life to accommodate someone at some point instead of doing things that made me happy. When I was with her I found the most pleasure in the simplest of things we did. And to be honest it made me happy that she was happy. Now in retrospect I realized that we different in every single way imaginable in other regards that made it difficult at times. When it came down to loving each other, that's the one thing that we got right every single time, regardless of what we had going on at the time. But I wouldn't go back and change anything because it restored my faith in the one thing I want most in this world: a woman that loves me as pure and true as God intended it to be.

And that's why it's going on three years that I've been single and that no woman that I've dated has lasted more than a couple of weeks. That thing I did early in my life where I ended relationships because I was emotionally invested, coupled with my understanding on how I love people and the need to be more opened has shown me the road I need to take in order to cross paths with a woman that I would more than my last ex who changed everything. I don't know God's plans for me, and I might go through the same thing I went through my last ex, but what I do know now is that love is real and it's out there. For me it came through a person who knew how to love me by simply being herself and that's the greatest gift of them all. It's possible to find yourself in someone else, even if you're not looking there in the first place. While that may seem scary and dangerous, it's actually the best thing to happen to you once you recover. I've officially left the destruction part behind and I'm fully vested in rebuilding myself to be better for the next time that God decides he wants that love to come around.

Life is funny sometimes if you open your eyes and see it for what it is ..

The Day The Towers Fell

2016-09-11T00:00:00.000-04:00

"We thought it was a joke at first; something like this could never happen in our lifetime .."

I'd be lying if I said I remembered that day vividly, because I don't. What I do remember is sitting there with one of my friends named Solomon, in some meaningless 9th grade class, joking around. It was the second class of the day, on a Tuesday, we weren't interested in much at that point. We were sitting there and the next thing we know the principle comes on over the intercom and tells everyone to turn on their TV. That was weird thing because back then we virtually never turn the TV on for anything at all. I think I watched maybe one movie my whole entire time in high school, (that I was supposed to watch). So we were already glued to it because we knew that whatever we going to see HAD to be that important.

When we saw a news report that one tower had already been hit and was falling; we just couldn't believe it. We thought it was a joke at first; something like this could never happen in our life time. We live in the United States of America, one of the safest countries in the whole history of the world. Surely there's no way that someone could hijack a plane from our secure terminals, after going through lengthy checks to simply get on the plane. I mean this wasn't some movie where the bad guys could do whatever they want at the beginning and then cause all kinds of hell, this was real life. One of my friends, I want to say it was Big Phil, laughed and proclaimed: "Man this is America, no one wants beef with us". Meanwhile our teacher was standing there the whole time, watching in silence. We all continued talking among ourselves, uninterested and in clear denial.

But then it happened .. the South Tower was hit right in front of our eyes.

In the most surreal moment of my life, at that point, I watched as human beings jumped from the falling tower on fire and into the ash clouds below them as rubble followed closely behind them. We were all in a state of shock, not at the fact that innocent human lives were being lost, but at the fact that something like this did happen on U.S. soil. That with every single safe guard that we have in this country, the one thing that we thought could never happen in our lifetimes, happened. Mind you at this particular point in time we were all just fifteen and sixteen year old kids in their second month of high school. Up until this point we just learned about stuff like this happening in the foot notes of our history books toward the end of school years when we were already mentally checked out and ready for summer break. Something like this we never encountered because we were both too young and uninterested. This was 2001, the internet wasn't a readily available source of information yet for everyone; we simply didn't know what terror looked like.

Although I don't remember much at all about that day as a whole, I do remember that there was one girl who screamed for the television to be turned off. But what the teacher did was one of the bravest things ever, she said no. She told us that this was a moment in time that was going to change the whole entire country, that what we do here will have a profound impact on us all. We didn't know what that meant at that exact moment, we were still in disbelief that this was happening right at this moment. The reality was setting in that the people jumping from those buildings made a conscious decision to die that way rather than die from massive smoke inhalation and being set on fire. We didn't know what to think, there were so many emotions running through our young minds at that moment: anger, sadness, hatred, patriotism and most importantly fear. And just at the moment we were wondering what was going to happen next, it happened ..

The South Tower fell ..

We watched as rubble and debris fell to the ground and more people were shown falling from the buildings. The same building that was hit right in front of our eyes was now falling as a whole to the ground. At this point the only thing running through my head was the fact that my father was going back to war and nothing else. I remember going on home and talking to my mother about what happened and she blatantly said to me: "you know your father is going to war right"? That was amazing for the simple fact that she hates this man, but in that moment we all shared the same sentiment, we were scared. But back in the class after the north tower fell, we all sat there in a dead silence, just shocked. We tried to process what we saw and the feelings we felt. Our teacher tried her best to summarize what happened, but even she fell silent after awhile. Of course there were protocols that had to be taken at that moment, so the whole switching classes thing was all out of whack. Eventually we were all sent home early and that had to be one of the quietest days in my whole entire life to date.

By all accounts this was probably the moment that my generation, from ages of fourteen all the way through eighteen, lost every single ounce of our innocence. This was the moment we could all look back to and think that we saw death and suffering it's purest forms. Granted a lot of us had to wait to go to the military, but a hand full of us left and joined at various points after that. When I finally committed to enlisting I thought about this moment long and hard before I ever signed my name on the dotted line and raised my hand to swear an oath. It was with that in the back of my mind when I deployed that kept me ready at all times. A lot of people may read that and think that I'm making that up, but it's the God honest truth. I know I'm proud that at the end of our time in Iraq that I lowered one of the last flags being flown in country and handed it to my first sergeant.

Even though a lot of stuff got lost in our efforts to go over there and "eradicate the enemy", I realized that at the end of the day, all of those people who lost their lives, all of the families that were affected and all of those first responders who rushed there without a second thought will never be forgotten. When I visited the memorial back in 2013 I had a moment where I just stopped and thought to myself that this is where it all happened. After the attacks, me joining the military and getting out, it all came full circle for me. I never thought I was going to be a veteran standing in the same place that convinced me that I always needed to be on guard about any and everything because you never know when that moment will come when you need to react. This day will mean more to me than anyone will ever know or allow themselves to admit means the same thing to them as well.

September 11th, 2001 was the day that changed my life forever.

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 9 | Jazmine Sullivan

2016-09-02T00:00:00.000-04:00

She has talent that's hard to match on any level.

You know the moment I realized that Jazmine Sullivan was a really great singer? When I was watching that Temptation movie and her song came on and it actually snatched some emotions right out of my soul and through my chest. In Love With Another Man was at the time a song that I related to way too heavily. For everything that I was going through at the time it hit home and made me think deeply on the whole situation when I refused to do so. It was that song that made me come to my senses and made me do what I had to do. And that's the mark of a great artist, they make you think when you don't want to and more importantly they make you feel when you need to feel.

That's the mark of Jazmine though, she creates songs that make your true emotions escape that place you put them and march to the forefront. It's crazy to think that she hasn't released a bad album yet but she doesn't get the recognition she deserves from the masses. Her production, her lyrics, her voice are all on par with being with the best of the best these days. Whenever someone comes up to me and begins a conversation with R&B isn't as great as it once was, I always point them in the direction of Jazmine. She embodies perfectly what it means to be an R&B / Soul songstress. Fearless is my favorite CD from her seeing as you can just play it straight through with no skips or pauses.

There is plenty of praise in my tank that I can whip out of Jazmine but I'd rather you just open up whatever streaming service that you have and click play. You won't be disappointed in what you hear at all. If you're looking for that "real" R&B sound that folks like to complain about so much, look no further, Jazmine has all of the music you need to bring you back to that level of love, (or she can make your world come crashing down around you).

She's just that great ..

My Favorite R&B Artists Series

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 1 | Boyz II Men

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 2 | R. Kelly

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 3 | Rihanna

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 4 | Maxwell

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 5 | New Edition

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 6 | Whitney Houston

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 7 | Dru Hill

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 8 | Ginuwine

September 2016

2016-09-01T00:00:00.000-04:00

Guess who's back?! .. Well kind of ..

So I took pretty much all of August off because I was tired and going through some things personally that I had to resolve. Sometimes life gets the better of you and you have to slow down and handle that before you can continue on to the things you love doing. Basically what I'm saying is that I had to be an adult for a little while lol. But I am glad that I'm back to finish the year out strong before my REAL break starts. I know that's not what some of you want to hear but there are a lot of things that I have to do both personally and professionally before I can truly move on to bigger and greater things. Like I said I'll still be around there will still be posts that are promoted by me on here, so don't fear about that.

Not much to say about the admin side of things on the site. Just expect new posts all month long, with the normal schedule intact. I'm also going to post on my medium page, (ColdKnowledge), as well. Be on the look for those links as they come about. There are a couple of things that I'm really looking forward to talking about and sharing with you all. I'm back, same old me, and eager to start sharing again!

As always if there are any questions then feel free to leave a comment or contact me through my contact page at the top.

Related Posts
September 2015

January 2016
February 2016
March 2016
April 2016
May 2016
June 2016
July 2016
August 2016

Suicide Squad Movie Review

2016-08-08T00:00:00.000-04:00

Once again, everyone freaked out over nothing.

For starters this movie wasn't bad at all; it just wasn't. Second, this movie wasn't meant to redefine the genre or what superhero movies are even suppose to be. This movie was meant to be what it was, an action packed and cheap line movie that isn't like any other comic book movie out right now. Well I mean there's Deadpool, but still, this movie was worth the money that I paid to see it. For those people that say it sucked or wasn't up to par, just remember that when you're sucking on another Fantastic Four type movie, wondering where all of the action went. I think people like to either complain for no reason or just make stuff up just because it sounds good. Either way, you looked like some idiots for giving such a scathing review of a movie that was meant to be filled with action.

Now that I go that out of the way I can get on with my movie review lol. The movie itself was solid, I liked a lot of the characters. Of course with Will Smith being the big name actor on the banner he would have spent the most time on the screen. I think that each character showcased what they could do effectively without overshadowing the other. They all had their big game moments in the film. I know that Joker was the focal point of the movie in terms of people either liking him or not. I, for one, can say that I didn't enjoy his performance too much. I know a lot of people grew up on that version of the joker from the animated TV shows and everything but I think he fell victim to the Heath Ledger effect with a lot of other folks. I want to see what he can do in the impending Batman solo movie; whenever that comes out.

The dynamic of the cast really meshed well with each other.

I know that I went in thinking they were going to tell a certain story from the comics about how they came together and everything and I can honestly say that I'm glad that they didn't do that. The plot was pretty on point, I just wish the villain wasn't such a pushover; but that's with all comic book movies to me though. The villain always gets diluted in these movies for some reason. Other than that the movie was a good starting point in terms of breaking people into the comic book world that doesn't know much about anything character wise. It was great seeing Flash and Batman in the brief moments that they had. That kind of thing sets up future roles for characters and I couldn't be more happy.

Overall this movie was about action and introducing characters that you're going to see a lot down the road. I had zero problems with who played who in this movie, (other than the joker for obvious reasons), and I'm looking forward to seeing everyone down the line. Once again it's crazy to think that folks complained about this movie for no good reason. I don't know whether it was all of the joker hype and he wasn't in it that much or had anything to do with the ending, but when it's all said and done, this movie was the fourth best superhero movie of the year after Civil War, Deadpool and Batman v Superman. And for that I give it a solid B. If you saw this movie then let me know what you thought of it in the comments below.

Until next time!

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Full Time Hustle

2016-08-03T00:00:00.000-04:00

"What does it take to blog full time like you?"

Over the last couple of months I've been asked that very specific question and most of the time the person doesn't like the answer that I give. Usually after breaking down the daily tasks, the little nuances and the proactive thinking that one has to have, the person is usually discouraged. I don't mean to deter anyone who is looking to act on an hobby or passion, but blogging full time isn't for the faint at heart. Hell, blogging isn't for everyone period; I rather let you know what you're in for now than wait til later after you created everything and then decide that you don't want to do it anymore because it felt like you were doing too much.

No, I'd much rather tell you the truth upfront and let you go from there. There are those that make it in blogging, or anything successful period, because they're willing to put in the time that is required to succeed. It's funny because I don't blog full time for the same reasons that most feel after setting up their blog initially. The are a couple of reasons as to why I'm lucky enough to have Cold Knowledge. First and foremost I'm trained in the art of mass producing. I went to school for Mass Communications so I can pretty much do anything from writing in a newspaper to producing my own radio show if need be. That's an advantage I have over most people in this line of living. Secondly, I can just flat out write. When motivated I can crank out at least ten posts a day, not saying they are all good or great, but I can write when properly motivated.

But don't look at what I can do, look at what YOU can do.

I tell folks all of the time to be honest with themselves when it comes to their level of commitment towards blogging full time. If you've never produced content that's needed for your particular niche, then it's ok to take time and work on that. It's not a rat race, when it's time for you to come in and do it full time then it will simply be your time; no one can take that from you. One pet peeve that I have with folks who do anything they want to be successful at is comparing themselves to other peoples work. You're not that person and you don't know what that person went through to get where they got. Sure you may know their story but you don't know their internal struggle that they had to go through. If you're going to come into the blogging world you can't compare yourself to others and what they have achieved, you can only go by what you can do and expound upon that. That is the true key to individual success.

And as you come to that road you may feel as though you're not meant to run a full time blog, you may feel as though you're meant to bounce around, lending your expertise to a bunch of different places. The beauty now versus when I started is that there are so many places where you can submit ideas for people to critique and get use to you as a creative. I know with writers there are a ton of blogs out there, (myself included), that have a high visibility rate that will allow you to submit writings to be featured to a large audience. There's also the new social media blogging platform Medium that connects you with a ton of people who like to read.

Point being, you don't have to worry about blogging full time until you're ready to do so.

It's kind of annoying when there are certain people who have great pieces but they end up quitting writing because they just don't feel like doing the things required to run a blog full time. I've literally had folks tell me that they stopped writing just because they don't feel like having to do all of the other things that's required to keep their blogs appealing to readers, making them wanting to come back for seconds. To me instead of quitting just close down your blog and write for yourself and only for yourself. It takes a bit of talent to be a great writer and the only way to keep getting better at it is to keep writing. I know a lot of folks who have moved on to bigger and better things from blogging simply because they kept writing.

But that's my little spill and advice on the whole blogging full time. Everyone isn't meant to be a full time blogger and that's quite alright. It requires more than most are willing to give and instead of getting into the game straight out of the gate, take your time to cultivate ideas and to practice first. Even though I had a blog basically since 2003, I still took my time and practice writing because I enjoyed it enough to know that I needed to improve on it. It's just like with sports, you have to practice a lot to know if you're ready for the next level. Some folks are players and others are better suited to be coaches or announcers. You just might be better suited as a columnist or a guest poster than a full time content producer.

That's just my whole spill on the situation when people ask me what it requires to be a full time blogger. It takes a lot to be a full time blogger and those that you see are successful put in an unconscious amount of time into perfecting their site and all of their side hustles outside of that. Like I said before, if you're ready for it then just dive head first into it; but if you're not then just take your time, practice, guest post, post on medium in the meantime. Keep a close eye on your feedback that can help you to grow, (not all that negative trolling stuff that's going around these days). Only you can make the decision to be the best, just know it's a long road ahead to get there.

Until next time!

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 8 | Ginuwine

2016-08-02T00:00:00.000-04:00

There is one reason and one reason alone he's on this list: 100% Ginuwine.

I mean yes he has had plenty of other hits on his resume that can't be forgotten: Pony, In Those Jeans, Differences, Stingy and the list goes on and on. He also was featured in The Best Man I Can Be, which is an awesome song about brotherhood that reminds me about my brothers and I. Doesn't hurt either that he married Solé's fine ass, (even though they're divorced now), and his daughter is equally as fine; (even though he posted that weird picture a couple of years back). The only reason I decided to include him on this list is because, in my own personal opinion, he created one of the best R&B albums of all time.

Yes I believe with all my heart that 100% Ginuwine is hands down one of the best R&B albums of all time.

That soul album can be played from start to end without skipping one song. I could go on and on about what makes each track great, but I would much rather you take the time out to sit down and listen to the album yourself. Preferably you listen to them on some high quality speakers that allow for the production on the album to be truly heard and felt. That's the only way you'll be able to hear what Timbaland crafted out of his genius. If the day comes when people ask what did Timbaland contribute to music, you can definitely point straight to this album as being one of the last great R&B moments of the 90's.

The numbers also speak for themselves, the album ended up going double platinum and was on numerous decade end lists for when it came to R&B albums. You can say what you want about Ginuwine, (and you have all rights to do so), but this one particular album in time will point to how one of the best producers in the game managed to squeeze out every bit of talent from a good singer and made him sound great. Ginuwine provided an album I can reach back on and find so many great memories from it and for that he has cemented his spot in my favorite R&B acts of all time.

Give 100% Ginuwine a listen here on Spotify.

Discography

My Favorite R&B Artists Series

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 1 | Boyz II Men

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 2 | R. Kelly

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 3 | Rihanna

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 4 | Maxwell

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 5 | New Edition

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 6 | Whitney Houston

My Favorite R&B Artists, Vol. 7 | Dru Hill

August 2016

2016-08-01T00:00:00.000-04:00

Well it's safe to say that it's been awhile.

So July was an interesting month for me. There was my rampant job search after Verizon shipped a lot of jobs from the south to the north in order to appease the union folks after the strike. Then there was the whole deal where my air conditioning broke randomly and I was living in hell for a couple of days. That was pretty much the gist of my month in a nutshell, so sorry if the posts have been lacking. Honestly this is my first real post in about three weeks. There are a couple of people who have voiced their displeasure's with me in recent weeks. So I do apologize about that, but doesn't mean that things will change soon because I'm actually starting a new job while my current one ends. Meaning I'm going to be working two jobs for a couple of weeks.

So bear with me people while I get my affairs in order.

But don't be worried, I've been writing down my ideas and starting posts to the point they're about 75% completed. So there are posts in the work, they just aren't completed at the current moment. Those will probably be put out sometime within the next two weeks seeing as how this is my last normal week of my life for awhile. But all is good, I wanted to let you all know what was going on and why I haven't really been around on the blog. It's rough not being able to write how I want to write, but hey sometimes life gets the better of us and we have to adjust. But for now you can follow my twitter at @ColdKnowledge and keep up with me on the latest and random posts that are tweeted out on a regular basis.

Until next time!

Star Trek Beyond Movie Review

2016-07-22T00:00:00.000-04:00

This movie was great.

When I walked into this movie I didn't really know what to expect with Justin Lin at the helm. Unlike everyone who hates the Fast and Furious franchise for no apparent reason other than it's still going strong, Justin Lin was the driving factor in making it into a film series about something other than cars. So when it was announced that he was going to be taking over for J.J. I didn't have worries about what he could do, I just wanted to know how he was going to do it. It could have been just like the first trailer that debuted and had all of the fan boys in their feelings about the series, or it could have been what it was: a good movie.

I heard that they wanted to get back to the root of what Star Trek is, exploring the human psyche while dealing with the infinite darkness called space. This film covered a lot of ground and many different themes in a unique way that worked for this movie. When the end came it was definitely a nice plot twist to me since I thought Idris Elba character should have introduced Klingon into the new Star Trek fold. But the route that they went with the characters were excellent with everyone progressing in their roles quite nicely.

Well except Bones, he doesn't need to change a bit.

The special effects were superb, a part of me wished I would have seen it in IMAX 3D, but I'll settle for 4K resolution when the DVD comes out at the end of the year. I'll say that the starbase Yorktown looked pretty damn cool when it was finally shown. The attack sequences were also equally as cool looking with the best moment coming from when the Enterprise was attacked. If you're looking for a movie that doesn't look like it was CGI to death, then Star Trek Beyond is a great place to start. It definitely looks way better than it's predecessors, which is always a good thing.

This movie gets an A from me. It's definitely up there for movie of the year in terms of solid plot, special effects and character development. Every since the first film in 2009 I always expected this movie franchise to be good. With this entry it definitely doesn't let up with that and I'm interested to see where they are going to go with it after this one. There was only one cheesy part and that was toward the end and that was very brief after a certain point passed. The only thing that put a bad spin on this movie is the passing of both Leonard Nimoy and Anton Yelchin, both very important people to this film franchise.

It's not going to be the same without them at all.

If you've seen this movie then tell me how you liked it in the comments below, I'm definitely looking forward to reading what you have to say about it.

Until next time.

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The Purge: Election Year Movie Review

2016-07-15T00:00:00.001-04:00

So this one was definitely the least liked one by me in the whole series.

That's a very strong feeling considering what the first one was like, but to me, Election Year just didn't cut it. There were too many plot holes that didn't connect the franchise on the lowest levels. Maybe it's just me, but I'm missing the whole point of what happened to Eva, Cali and Carmelo. We get Dwayne, (aka Dante), back but he ultimately dies in the end in which one can best describe it as a "satisfying kill" for the pro purge folks in the audience. But in the end it was all over when the Senator was elected and the Purge night was put to it's unceremonious end.

This movie series ultimately is a let down, with Election Year putting the final feather in the cap if you will. This movie series is unique and new, kind of, but it has never pulled off the promise that it could have had. Purge: Anarchy was by all accounts a good movie. To me it setup Election Year to be the perfect segue into making it a darker film franchise, while taking away all that hope they built up over the first two movies. Election Year could have thrown that swerve into everyone's hopes that the purge would be ended with the coming election. What should have happened was kill everyone's hopes and dreams, thus you would create an atmosphere of despair and hopelessness like Joe described in the first scene he's in in the movie.

But none of that matter because they took the cheesy route instead.

While the idea of the Purge being scary because it could actually happen in this country; the film never really plays up on that. Instead they focused all of their time to the senator and her cohorts running around the city, trying to thwart the assassination attempt on her opponent at the end of the night. That route was the safest way to go and ultimately the most boring way to go. We didn't see any of the creative killings or truly sadistic people in this year's purge. What would have done it for me is if they spent way more time outside than inside with friends or captures alike. They had the characters for the movie I wanted, but ultimately the writing was way too lazy to overcome this and pretty much squandered the cast.

This movie was a big let down for me and for that I'm going to give it a solid D. I didn't really enjoy anything about this movie other than the fact that it was sequel I've been waiting on. Even Frank Grillo was unbearable in this movie as Leo. His character needed a real purpose other than a flirty relationship and defending the Presidential hopeful. Eva and Cali provided that levity for him and Carmelo didn't allow himself to be punked like Dante did all movie. At the end of the day, too many plot holes, lazy writing and the missed chance to set a darker tone to the film franchise is ultimately what did it for me.

And I really wanted to like this movie and for it to do well.

If there is indeed a Purge 4 or a reboot of sorts with a spinoff, then they need to scrap the current format and get rid of everyone involved. I think looking into a Carmelo story with another lead actor would be more interesting than what was put out in Election Year. It would definitely provide a different point of view than the normal ones of the survivors and the oppressors in the sense that we get to see what the resistance looks like and what steps they take every purge year to try and tip the scales a bit. But anything other than a gritty and hard nose take on the series will be an utter waste of time.

What did you think of the Purge: Election Year? Did you like it or think it was just a cheesy and useless sequel in the franchise like I did. Leave it in the comments below.

Until next time!

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