ColeyBoley

The Problem with Fan Fiction

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 22:11:00 +0000

Remember all of that stuff I said about Austen fan fiction yesterday? It doesn't apply to every writer I love. For example, I've never been able to get into "Doctor Who" fan fiction. The writers of the show do a great job and it would be difficult to improve on Steven Moffat's genius. I've tried reading Twilight / Harry Potter crossovers, but they just don't work for me. Harry is British, and Bella is much too blah for his world. I can't really seem to get into Jane Eyre fan fiction, though there is not much of it out there. However, I cannot fault Jasper Fforde's treatment of Jane Eyre in The Eyre Affair.

Recently, while searching for titles related to Mr. Darcy, Vampyre, I came across this:

Romeo & Juliet & Vampires

And this:

Little Vampire Women

Oh, and also this:

Wuthering Bites

This:

The Undead World of Oz: L. Frank Baum's The Wonderful Wizard of Oz Complete with Zombies and Monsters

This:

Alice in Zombieland

And finally, this:

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and Zombie Jim

It's a double standard that I have, I know. If I am willing to read the Austen fan fiction, then why not Shakespeare fan fiction? Or Twain, Carroll, Alcott or Bronte?

I guess the answer is that I just have to draw the line somewhere.

Truthfully, it is difficult to put into words why Austen (and since we're being so honest, mainly P&P) fan fiction has become so interesting to me. I know that I love their story, and I like to know what other writers think should have or could have happened. Bottom line, I just can't get enough of the Darcy and Elizabeth story. Better than Romeo and Juliet, better than Heathcliff and Catherine, better than Rochester and Jane Eyre. Their story is the best love story I've ever heard, and I want to read it again and again, in a thousand different ways, knowing all the while that no matter what happens to them, they will always overcome whatever obstacles are in their way. They will always learn to get over their own pride and prejudices. They will always bring a smile to my face. And, at the end of the day, they will always be the story I love to talk about, love to read about, and love to hear.

My Austen Secret

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 19:00:00 +0000

A few years ago, I would have been ashamed to admit this, but I've been reading a lot of Jane Austen fan fiction. There was a time when I thought that type of literature was beneath me. I am an intellectual, and we read Austen and Bronte, not Reynolds and Grange. Still, after a huge Sourcebooks eBook giveaway in December 2010, I found myself with 10 novels based on Austen's characters, and shortly after tentatively stepping into the Austen fan fiction waters, I dove in headfirst. I can't remember if I read Mr. Darcy's Diary first, or if it was, Fitzwilliam Darcy, the Last Man in the World. Either way, the Darcy those two women presented was the Darcy I wanted, so I kept reading . . . and kept reading . . . and kept reading. And before I knew it, I found that my collection of Austen-related fiction was growing pretty large.

There is a certain appeal to reading what I call "literary junk food". As an English major, almost everything I read in a semester is something I have to analyze. I read with a critical eye, looking for the deeper meaning behind the writing. I consider the historical time frame, and what the author was experiencing that may have influenced the work. However, with my "literary junk food", I don't have to do any of that. I can simply read for my own enjoyment. I read those books because they make me happy, not because I may have to write an essay over it someday.

This "junk food" isn't always well written. I have discovered a few writers that are really talented, but for the most part the writing is pretty bad and many of the story plots are ridiculous. Still, I enjoy them, because I know how they are going to end (almost always the way Austen wrote them), and because I don't have to think about them until I want to read them again.

So, there it is . . . my deep, dark literary secret. Truthfully, I really love some of them. I read Reynolds and Grange over and over. I have all of the best fan fiction sites bookmarked. I have my favorites that I read over and over, and I have a mental list of the stories I'll never read again.

As I head into this semester, I am excited about getting back to the basics, back to the Austen I love and the depth of her genius. I look forward to the undoubtedly heated discussions I can expect to have on Tuesday nights. I am ready to explore all of Jane through the eyes of a scholar.

But don't be surprised if you find me sneaking in a few pages of Mr. Darcy, Vampyre once in a great while.

The Austen Semester

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 23:30:00 +0000

In exactly six days, I will be driving to Pittsburg to attend my first Austen class of the semester. I am so excited! Because of my love for all things Austen, I feel that there may be some new posts coming to you, my few, but faithful readers.

I've been extremely excited about this class since the moment it was announced. I'm so excited that I've done something I've never done before. I decided on a paper topic before I even started writing the papers for the previous semester's classes. I'm in the process of reading some of the works which I'll use for my paper, and I plan to begin researching soon.

My love for Jane has been a journey, which began when I watched the Emma Thompson version of Sense and Sensibility for the first time. There was a time when, if asked, I would have said that Shakespeare was the British writer I would specialize in when I started my graduate work. I don't think that is the truth any longer. I still love Shakespeare, but Austen has captured me, and she shows no signs of letting go.

So, I'm reviving the blog (I think) for the semester, at least, so that I'll have a place to share my excitement and vent my frustrations during this course. (Someday, I hope to truly revive the blog and begin posting regularly again.)

For now, it is the Austen semester on this blog and in my life. Get ready, world!

Joplin, Missouri

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 17:15:00 +0000

My city.

As I caught myself calling Joplin that, I realized that Joplin has always been a part of my life.

When I was a little girl, and we'd come up for camp, my Mom and I would come over from Wyandotte with friends and eat dinner at a Mexican place called Raphael's.

When I was a teenager, my friend Phil and I would come over and hang out at a coffee shop on Main Street, when Main Street was still the "main drag."

When I moved to Tulsa, my brother and his wife followed shortly after by moving to Joplin, and I'd come over on weekends to see them.

When I moved to the area to be close to my family, I realized that there was a place in my heart that had always thought of Southwest Missouri as home.

I was born in Arkansas, and my heart lives in Texas, but Missouri is just as much a part of my life as those other places I've called home. Living here for the past (almost) 6 years, I've never really called Joplin home. I may have felt it was, but I never really said it. Home was Dalhart, Texas, a place I loved from the moment I laid eyes on it.

On Sunday, May 22, 2011, something changed and Joplin became "my city". We don't live in the city limits of Joplin. We live in a small town near Joplin, but we shop in Joplin, we eat in Joplin, much of our life is centered in Joplin.

So, when a tornado ripped through my city on May 22nd, my heart started breaking. Right in the middle of a month that had already broken my heart with the death of a man I admired above so many others, another heartbreak that tore apart a city I love shook me to my core. I'm still trying to make sense of the month of May 2011, and I have a million questions that will probably never be answered. May 2011 has changed me. There is a point in every day since May 18th where I am caught unaware by grief. Sometimes I grieve the death of my friend, sometimes I grieve the destruction of my city, and sometimes I don't even have words to describe my grief.

In my heart, I've taken ownership of Joplin, as I know many others have. This is our city. Carthage, Oronogo, Webb City, Carl Junction, and all of the others in between have declared this city as OUR city.

Joplin is my home. I don't live within its city limits, but it is my home. Every day, I hear new stories from survivors, people who shouldn't have lived, but by the grace of God, they did. Every day, I'm reminded that my city was broken, but I am also reminded that my God reached into the midst of a monster to save a life of a friend, a colleague, a family. My family. My brother. My sister-in-law. My nephew. My niece. My God redirected their paths to keep them out of the storm, as He did for so many others.

Joplin is my city. Since May 22nd, I have thought of Joplin not as Joplin, Missouri, city I shop and eat in, but as MY City, place I call home. The road ahead for Joplin is long, and as so many have said, the news people will leave, the relief workers will go home, and we the citizens of Southwest Missouri will be left on our own to rebuild a city that will never be the same.

As I watched yet another video filmed in the aftermath of the monster, I was reminded of the words of a Joplin pastor who declared that in Joplin, the Cross still stands. I was reminded that the chapel was one of the only two places in St. John's hospital undamaged by the storm. I was reminded that my God was in the midst of the tornado guiding and directing people into the places that would keep them safe.

My city. No longer just a place to shop or eat, Joplin is my city. In my heart, I think it has always been my city. I think the years of visits and quick trips over to town have embedded Joplin into the fabric of my life. Joplin will recover. My city will rebuild. The breaking of our hearts will begin to subside and be replaced with hope for our future. Our city will stand, and in the midst of our city, my God still walks, bringing with Him peace and comfort, hope and joy, a future.

Review: One of Our Thursdays is Missing

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 17:15:00 +0000

Last night, I finished reading One of Our Thursdays is Missing. I recently reread the whole series, because I knew this next Next would be out and wanted the previous novels to be fresh in my mind as I read this installation. It was a fun to reread the previous Nexts and I hope to repeat the process soon. It also helped that we spent the past weekend following Jasper Fforde around Missouri. I'll talk more about that later.

One of Our Thursdays is Missing is unique in that it is not written from the perspective of the real Thursday Next, but is instead from the point of view of the written Thursday Next. This is the written TN we first met in First Among Sequels as the star of The Great Samuel Pepys Fiasco.

By the time I reached page 183, I was calling this book Fforde's masterpiece. It was insane, ridiculous, and fantastic; all of which was increased by the sheer absurdity of the Bookworld. I loved it! As to the description of "masterpiece", I'll need to read The Fourth Bear again to verify if that is completely true.

It takes a little more concentration than some of the other books in the series, simply because much of the action takes place in Bookworld, and it takes some careful reading to understand what exactly it is that you don't understand.

I don't want to give away any spoilers, so there isn't much in this review in the way of the actual content of the book. However, I will give the advice that if you are planning to read this book, I strongly recommend reading the first five books. While this book doesn't address many of the issues presented in the previous book, there are times when prior knowledge of Thursday's adventures (that is, the Real Thursday) is helpful.

As for the other, that is, as for the fact that Stan and I recently took a weekend trip that was basically planned around Jasper Fforde's US tour schedule, there is much to say. Perhaps I should write a separate post for that.

The book, One of Our Thursdays is Missing, is well worth the time and effort, and gets my highest award of 5 Mario stars.

Review: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 11:30:00 +0000

Last night I attended my first midnight showing of a movie. Yes, sports fans, I stayed up way past my bedtime in order to experience the very early opening of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.

This morning, several people have asked the question "Was it worth it?"

The answer is yes. Yes, it was worth it. If for no other reason than the experience, it was worth it.

The other question I've received is, of course, "How was the movie?"

It was better than I expected. After Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, I wasn't looking forward to this film. However, it turned out to be a good adaptation. Of course, there were some added scenes and many more deleted scenes, which always happens going from book to film. I felt there were some very crucial scenes deleted from the end, but I understand the idea behind the adaptation.

The acting was very good. I was delighted by Alan Rickman's performance, and liked him more in this film than in the previous five. Jim Broadbent was a nice addition to the cast, and Helena Bonham Carter was brilliant as usual in her role as Bellatrix.

Going to a midnight showing is like no other experience. I have seen movies on opening day, standing in line for a few hours with friends. There is little comparison. The midnight showing brings out a very interesting group of people. I saw kids there as young as 10, and adults as old as 60 (a very generous guess, I might add).

Though I don't plan to make a habit of going to midnight showings, I must admit that I really enjoyed myself and would probably do it again if the opportunity presented itself.

As for the film, I think it deserves 4 out 5 stars.

The Big Day Approacheth!

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 13:50:00 +0000

No, no! Not THAT big day. I'm talking about Shakespeare's 445th birthday on Thursday. Perhaps you weren't aware that he was getting to be that old. Yes, my friends, he has aged well.

Fortunately, and most likely, to my family's distress, I have just learned that Thursday, April 23rd, is Talk Like Shakespeare Day. Yes, you read that right. Talk Like Shakespeare Day. Awesome, right?

Don't worry if you aren't a Shakespearean scholar, it just so happens that there is a website (Talk Like Shakespeare.org) to help you prepare to talk like Shakespeare on Thursday.

While I can't guarantee I will talk like Shakespeare all day (I do have to answer phones, and our customers may not understand why I'm talking like that), I do plan to try to talk like Shakespeare as much as possible on Thursday. My hope is that we'll have family dinner Thursday night so that I can drive my family crazy with my thees and thous.

So, talk like Shakespeare on Thursday. People may think you are crazy, but I bet it'll be fun!

"ER", Good-bye

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:54:00 +0000

Today there are hundreds of news articles, blog posts, and recaps all over the internet about the finale. My "dime a dozen" post won't mean much to anyone except me. I'm writing anyway.

It ended last night. After 15 years of ups, downs, and everything in between, "ER" closed it's proverbial doors and said good night. I openly admit that I cried during more than 50% of the 3 hour "ER" window last night.

I started watching "ER" in season one, and maybe missed only half or possibly one whole season during the 15 year run. I was remembering last night that I started watching the show because Michael Crichton was the creator. In high school, I was really into Crichton, reading everything of his I could get my hands on. When I heard he was attached to a television series, I was right there, on Thursday nights, ready to watch. I didn't care who the actors were, I just wanted to see his genius at work.

And genius it was.

The show took the viewers places they had never been. Yes, we had been in an ER. Shows like "Trapper John, M.D." and "St. Elsewhere" were both based on the idea of a teaching hospital, and there were probably numerous others with a similar concept. I vaguely remember seeing the shows. Of course, my mother was a fan of Knots Landing and Dallas, so our evenings were filled with the prime time soap opera antics of Larry Hagman and William Devane. Medical dramas weren't really the thing in our house. However, "ER" was more than a medical drama. It was a soap opera, of sorts. It was a comedy, at times. It was heart wrenching and sappy and amazing. The show always made me cry, more than once a season, sometimes once a week. It moved me. And yes, even when it got too political for my liking, I still loved it.

"ER" has been part of my life for 15 years, and even though it is just a TV show, I will miss it. My Thursday nights have been an "event", as "ER" writers always billed it. The writers weren't afraid to shock us and make us angry. They were willing to push the envelope. They took us places we never thought we'd go. They toyed with our emotions. They created characters we hated, taught us to love them, and then cruelly took them away from us in explosions and helicopter crashes.

It was epic television, and they knew it. And now, that season of television is over.

Yes, there will be other shows that create "epic" television, but there will never be another "ER".

I realized that the show has been on for half of my life. It has been the show I watched throughout so many different seasons of my own personal journey, and like a warm blanket, I let the show become the outlet for my tears and frustrations when I met them in my own life. Many of the tears I cried for "ER" over the years represented tears I couldn't cry any place else. "ER" gave me an excuse to be vulnerable.

Perhaps that seems a little extreme to some, but, looking back, I realize how true it is.

So many of my favorite shows have ended in the past few years, and it feels like television is slipping into the background. It is becoming less "Must See" and more "Will Watch". Now what will I do? I will probably watch something else that doesn't move me quite like "ER" did. And I will probably like it. "ER" will disappear from the minds of television viewers the same as every other epic show has done. I'll catch the occasional rerun, and perhaps buy a season or two, maybe all. Life will go on the same as it did when other shows have ended. This is not a tragedy. Still, let me mourn. Let me cry once more as the camera pans out and the ambulances come in, then I'll be content to let the screen go black.

And believe it or not, the tea didn't help

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 18:06:00 +0000

Well, I've been sick. It started on Monday afternoon, quite suddenly with a dry cough. It turned into a terrible hacking cough with fever that lasted two days.

So for two days, all I have been able to drink is white grape juice on the rocks, and I have eaten less than I have ever eaten in my life. On Tuesday night, I ate half a bowl of shells and cheese, prepared by my gorgeous Stan. On Wednesday, I had a banana, and most of a grilled cheese sandwich. Today? Well, today it is the juice, and I officially ate less than half a cup of soup.

Is it starve a fever, feed a cold; or starve a cold, feed a fever? I can never remember.

Anyway, I'm sure no one cares about my meals, or lack thereof, over the past few days.

The real reason for the post is that (1) I haven't posted in ages, and (2) I couldn't drink tea. For two days. And I haven't had any today. The tea didn't help. I tried to drink tea the first day. I took one sip, and just couldn't finish the cup. I wanted to. I thought it would be tremendously soothing on my throat, but it wasn't.

So, I drank the white grape juice. I'm sure I'll be back to my old tea drinking self in no time, but it made me sad that tea couldn't soothe me in my time of need.

Anyway, to anyone that is actually still reading this blog, I'm sure there is more to post, and maybe I'll post later. I'm just a little more interested in reading right now than writing.

Sometimes I Love My Classes

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 18:37:00 +0000

Today my English professor asked me the most awesome question I have ever been asked.

We are about to study The Tempest, and he asked those of us in the class who have studied Shakespeare before to think about and have some answers ready on Monday to the following question:

"What is the most important thing about Shakespeare?"

Greatest.Homework.Assignment.EVER!

Grammar Lesson #406

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 19:56:00 +0000

The word "their" is naturally possessive. There is no need to add 's. Type "theirs" if you need the word to be plural, and an amazing thing happens -- it becomes plural possessive.

Remarkable, huh?

I'm actually speechless

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 19:18:00 +0000

I just saw this headline on Yahoo! news:

'Spider-Man' set for Feb. 2010 Broadway opening

That's Broadway, as in musical.

I kid you not.

316

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 18:01:00 +0000

Please go read this post by my friend Emily, titled "LOST Theology".

It will rock you.

Now, That's Customer Satisfaction!

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 19:29:00 +0000

During the lunch break, Stan and I decided to go to a local place called Pappa's. The link is to my raving review of the place on the Taco Blog.

I take it back.

Seriously.

I mean it.

Okay, so their food is still good, but they lost my business today. Here's the story . . . (Of a lovely lady) . . .

Background info:
In the post linked above, I talked about how lunch at Pappa's is different from dinner. During lunch, you used to go to the counter, place and pay for your order, then find a seat to wait until they brought it out to you. During dinner, you sat down, ordered from a menu, and paid at the end. It worked great.

Now, both lunch and dinner are sit, order, then pay.

Today:
We walked in, were told to sit and the waitress would bring us a menu. So, we sat. While we sat the waitress went to another table to give them their menus, and she took both their drink order and lunch order. She then went to another table to give them menus, and take both their drink and lunch order. Then she went behind the counter and put away the menus and started doing something with the cash register. Then, she started working on the drink orders for the two tables whose order she had taken. During all of this time, we were ignored by the waitress, who didn't even bother to give us menus.

We walked out.

When I called back to complain to the owner, she told me that she was very busy, and I told her that she had lost our business.

I probably shouldn't have been so upset. They were really busy. However, Stan and I have a very strict lunch schedule. We just didn't have time to be ignored. Plus, at one point, the waitress looked over at us, so I know that she knew we were there waiting.

Anyway, as you know, I joined Twitter so that I could follow Adagio Teas. I blogged about it yesterday. Today I found out that Teavana is on Twitter.

Well, if you glance at yesterday's blog post, you'll see that Adagio responded with a comment. And if you glance at my Twitter page, you'll see that Teavana sent me a tweet after I exclaimed my happiness at finding them.

Now, guess which two of the three businesses mentioned in this post have my complete devotion.

Writing, Reading, Writing

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 21:53:00 +0000

I didn't do it. I tried, but I just wasn't motivated. I didn't keep my commitment. I didn't blog every day. I didn't read 10 poems every day. And I certainly didn't write for 20 minutes every day. I've been feeling a little unmotivated over all lately, and I didn't push myself to get motivated.

Anyway, moving on to other news. I finally gave in and joined Twitter. It is because of Adagio. They have a Twitter page, and I wanted to follow them. So, I added the Twitter updates to my sidebar here. If you twitter, find me. Just search for coleyboley.

I'm full of random thoughts, so that is how I'm typing.

I need a haircut, badly.

I don't want to do my English assignment because I think it is stupid. Basically, we are writing a paper to prove to our professor that we know how to do research for a paper. It isn't even a formal paper. It is basically just a list of resources. I shouldn't have to prove that I know how to do something I've been doing in a university setting for over 10 years.

I'm 31. I really am. I still can't really process the fact that I'm 31. I don't feel like I've been alive that long, but I have.

I really miss my friend Kelli today. I don't know why. I just do.

That's the end of my thoughts for now.

Yesterday Teavana, Today Adagio

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 21:07:00 +0000

Okay, I love Teavana. Let's just make sure that everyone understands that. I don't care how much some people may hate it, I love it.

That said, I want to mention Adagio. Adagio is actually the site where I first saw the most awesome tea steeper ever made, though I actually own the one made by Teavana.

Adagio is also a seller of loose teas, and this week, a friend and I placed an order for some of their sample teas. Unlike Teavana, Adagio sells samples of all of their teas for a very reasonable price, at around $2 for most of the teas. Since my friend was placing an order anyway, I decided to give Adagio a try.

The order hasn't come in yet (order just placed today), but it should be in next week and I'm so excited.

Hoping this never happens to me . . .

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:32:00 +0000

Teavana, How do I love thee? Let me count the ways . . .

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 20:52:00 +0000

Once again, I need to blog about tea.

I know I've told you about Teavana. In case you've forgotten, Teavana is to tea what Powell's is to books. Utopia. Teavana only sells loose teas, and they only sell the highest quality teas. I discovered Teavana when Stan and I visited Dallas during Thanksgiving holidays in 2007. They have more tea varieties than I ever imagined possible, and their teas are delicious. I've recently gotten a friend hooked on the teas, and we just placed an order that is being delivered today! I'm so excited!

Currently, I'm really into rooibos teas. For those of you less familiar with the intricacies of tea, you should really know about rooibos, so here's a link to the Wiki page. My favorite line from that page is "In South Africa it is more common to drink rooibos with milk and sugar." I always drink my tea with milk and sugar, and hate that people think it is weird. The British do it, and so do the South Africans. Since rooibos tea is from South Africa, I'll drink it their way.

Anyway, rooibos tea is really delicious, and because it is red, it is closer to pink, which makes me happy!

I have two different types of rooibos tea in the batch I just ordered, and I'm already planning my next order. Tea is becoming much more interesting than coffee, and it is better for me, too!

Is cleanliness still next to Godliness? Surely that counts for something.

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 22:36:00 +0000

Okay, so there is another big reason that I haven't been faithful to my commitment.

Our living room is clean.

Truth be told, we don't always keep the house as tidy as I would like. I get home from work, and the last thing I want to do is clean, so I lay my papers on the dinner table, or kitchen counter, or coffee table. Then, Stan and I bring our computers and school books into the living room so that we can "study", while watching TV.

Over the weekend, we got the living room, kitchen, spare bedroom and dining area really neat and tidy. And I really, really, really want to keep it that way. So, instead of going to my computer in the messy bedroom and writing, I sit in my beautifully neat living room and read a book, or watch TV, or play Xbox. I'm afraid that if I bring my computer into the living room that the cycle will start over again, so I refuse to bring it. That is also why I haven't really been on Facebook this week. Or blogged much. Or updated my iPod. Or synced my cell phone.

So, there you have it. The full confession. I'm not writing because I want to keep my house clean.

Can I justify that with scripture?

Disappointed in myself, yet Standing Firm

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 19:28:00 +0000

I should never be allowed to make a public commitment, because I am generally going to fail, and fail miserably.

I committed to writing for 20 minutes a day, writing a blog post a day, and reading 10 poems a day only a few days ago.

I did great the first day. Then the second day, I had a paper to write for another class, which took precedence over the reading portion of my commitment.

Then the weekend came, and once it came, I did nothing. Saturday, we enjoyed being home, and doing as little as possible.

Sunday was church, then a wonderful Tea with some friends.

Yesterday, the weather took over my thoughts quickly.

Today, I was hoping I would have a day off because of the weather, and didn't.

Bottom line, I have already fallen way back on the commitment, and it is a short one. I pretty much feel like a big failure.

Why is it that when you make a resolution, or commitment, or something big, that it seems like then everything comes against you to make it impossible to stay focused on that?

There is probably a big spiritual lesson there, that I think I found accidentally earlier when I clicked a Bible Gateway link unintentionally:

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
~Ephesians 6:12-13

Dad talked about something like this on Sunday. He has been doing a series on the working of the Holy Spirit in our lives, and from the moment he started the series, the devil has attacked him and all of our family with one thing after another.

I had a good friend in high school who told me that spiritual warfare was what happened when a person was trying to decide whether to accept Jesus as their Savior, and nothing else. We argued about it (and a million other things) a lot.

Yes, there is some spiritual warfare happening then, but there are also constant battles happening in the spiritual realm all around us. Sometimes, we have to join in the battle. That is what this passage in Ephesians is referencing. The rest of the passage tells us how to fight back:

Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints— and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.
Ephesians 6:14-20

I know that writing poetry is not spiritual, but making a commitment to be disciplined is, and I think there is a little battle there. I'm not blaming the devil. I am at fault as well, for not just making myself take the time when I knew I should be doing that over playing Xbox games.

I am disappointed in myself, but I am standing strong. I may not be perfect, but I will continue to try and stay focused on my goal to become a better writer. I may not change the world with my writing, but I might help someone, and that is reason enough to keep standing!

Reading Poetry

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 12:52:00 +0000

Well, you caught me. Actually, you didn't, but you would have. I did not read 10 poems yesterday. I meant to, but once I got home from work I really had to focus on a writing assignment for another class. I did everything else, though.

Today I woke early, and wrote sporadically for about 20 minutes. I didn't write consistently. I was distracted by other things. Still, I did get up early to write, and that is an accomplishment in itself.

My writing assignment for my other class was to write a paper about the one book that really impacted my decision to choose the English field of study. I realized that it wasn't a particular book, but, rather, a particular author. Anyone want to guess who it was? I'll give you a little time to think it over.

Good Morning, World

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 12:39:00 +0000

It is 6:39 a.m., and I am actually awake.

I'm thinking about New Mexico again, specifically, the Palisades. My favorite part of the drive to Angel Fire was the road through Cimarron Pass. If you've never been there, you should go. About halfway through the pass, there is a little outcropping near the river. It was my favorite spot in the area. In the summer, we would often drive through there on our way to Taos. We would leave early on a Saturday morning and just drive, without a plan other than a compass direction. We went wherever the road took us.

I've been fortunate in the fact that I married a man with that same idea about "taking a drive." Maps are just a bonus, but mostly we just follow the road, leaving our route up to chance and impulse.

Writing for Inspiration

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 02:20:00 +0000

My first day has been moderately successful. I did read ten poems, and I am writing a blog post. However, I'm not 100% certain I've written for 20 minutes. I spent 5 minutes writing in my journal, and another 10 to 15 writing on my computer. I did not write for 20 minutes straight, but I hope that starting tomorrow, I will be able to do that.

The problem with making a commitment like this one is that immediately after I made it, I started thinking about all of the things that would interfere with this schedule. I also started thinking about all of the other things I wanted to do, like watch movies, read Fforde, and play Xbox.

Still, I made the commitment, and I plan to stick to it. Part of being a great writer is sacrificing the time to write, right?

I've been thinking a lot about friendship lately, and I find myself wondering how I ever made any friends. It is hard work. I'm willing to do the work, but not if the effort I make is one sided. So, I struggle between wanting to make plans with many different groups of people and wanting to find that one, or maybe two couples that just fit with us.

I know that friendship is a two-way street, and I feel that if we could ever find people that would meet us halfway, it would be great. One of the biggest obstacles we face is the fact that we don't have children. Most of the couples we know have kids. And it isn't that we don't like kids, we do. But it is the same issue I ran into when I was single: it is just difficult to find common ground with marrieds when you are single, and with marrieds with children when you are just married. I felt a little discouraged last night, and had a little pity party for us. Stan didn't join in. He was encouraging, as usual.

And we have friends, really amazing friends, in fact. It is just that most of them live in other cities, other states, and other countries. So, we find ourselves with the mission of needing to make new friends, and it is a difficult road, but I know it will be worth the wait.

Determined to Write!

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 19:50:00 +0000

I just made a commitment for which I need someone to hold me accountable. Any takers? In my Creative Writing class, our prof. asked us to try specific methods for working on poems for the next 20 days. Today is the first day. The last day is Feb. 9th. I plan to commit to three things:

1. Write for (at least) 20 minutes each day.

I have been trying to make myself set aside time every day to write for years, but have never been able to stay with it. When I lived in Tulsa, I wrote a lot more, and some good things came out of it. Honestly, I need to produce a lot of poetry over the next several weeks, so I really want to commit to writing, journaling, working on a story, brainstorming, or whatever comes to mind. This writing will, most likely, not ever be read by anyone. It is strictly a journaling exercise.

2. Write a blog post (hoping for inspiration) each day.

I have wavered about this blog, however, the post I wrote recently about skiing in New Mexico inspired me to write a poem that I actually like. Now, I know I could just write for 20 minutes, and not write a blog post, but I think, in this case, that more writing is better. By writing something every day that I know others will be reading, it will make me think more carefully about my writing, rather than just writing the random thoughts that come into my head.

3. Read 10 poems each day.

Reading 10 poems every day sounds like a lot of reading, and it feels like it, too. However, poems can be short sometimes, and are a different kind of reading, so 10 poems could be a very little reading. The choice to read 10 poems comes from a need to immerse myself in poetry. Some of these poems will be by authors you have never heard of, because they will be the poems of my classmates, but I will still count them as part of my 10. My plan is to make a daily list of the poems I read each day to post here.

That is my plan. Now, this post doesn't count as my one post for the day, because it is strictly informational, which means that I still have to come up with another blog post for today, and a list of the poems I've read.

I know that most of you aren't going to be babysitting my blog every day to make sure that I'm doing what I say I'm going to do. People are just too busy for that. However, if you happen to notice that I haven't posted, and you have a minute to leave a comment, or drop me an email, or send me a Facebook message, or whatever form of communication you prefer, I would appreciate it. I could just ask Stan to keep me accountable, but he is just too darn nice, and easy to distract ;). So, I'm asking my friends (especially my fellow writers) to help keep me on track.

What I miss

noreply@blogger.com (Coley) — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 21:05:00 +0000

This is one of those days when I wish I still lived in the Texas Panhandle. I'd consider taking a drive in the morning over to Angel Fire, to see how the slopes look. Maybe I'd rent some ski equipment, and see if I still remember how. Think it's like riding a bike? I hope so. I would want Ashley to go with me, since she and her Mom taught me how to ski, and the Paffords and Maxwells, so we'd have someone there to cry over spilt milk. We'd arrive just in time for the slopes to open. Ash and I would spend a few hours on the bunny slope, until we were warmed up. Then, we'd ride the lift to the top and turn down the Heading Home trail. I'd want to stop just past the lift area and listen to the unbelievable silence that is only found on the tops of mountains. Another, better, skier would probably swoop past, spraying me with icy snow. I wouldn't care. I'd just start down again, going much slower than Ashley could bear, but she'd be patient with me, because she's my friend. About three quarters of the way down, I'd probably get really confident, and start going too fast, and fall on my face. Maybe this time I wouldn't hit the fence. I'd get back up, scrape the snow off my boots, and pop them back into the skis. I'd start down again, even slower this time, and a little more embarrassed and afraid. I'd reach the bottom and decide it was time for a break. I'd walk down to the restaurant to buy some Nacho Cheese Doritos (the only acceptable snack for skiing) and hot chocolate. I'd sit there for a little while, then decide that I was brave enough to try Heading Home again. We'd ski until closing, and in the quiet of sunset I'd look back up the mountain and wish for one more run. I'd reluctantly take off my equipment, and start packing up. We'd drive home in silence in the dark, thinking about what an awesome day it was, and knowing that we will never have another moment exactly like this one.