College Misery

This is NOT a negotiation!

2012-02-16T09:00:00.000-05:00

It was suggested that Clueless Carrie had somehow been cloned and was multiplying.

I present her cousins, fraternal twins -- Egalitarian Eric and Listing Lizzy.

They also seem to be from the cloning program -- set on "high."

Apparently Carrie, Lizzy and Eric were in the same class taught by Eve R Y'otherinstructor.
Because they all swear that Prof. Y'Otherinstructor has been accepting cut-and-pasted bulleted lists as original work. It seems the major qualifier is so long that they include a citation (e.g. "www.lameass_content_farm.com"), then it is permissible to stitch together an answer with lists culled from the first three hits from Google.

But Eric ... he adds a special twist.

In a previous teaching life, I had the pleasure of meeting him (and his parents) while he was still in middle school. His parents were incensed that students were not permitted to bring food into the classroom, largely because they were inveterate slobs.

"But you have a cup of coffee on your desk. Why can't my son have a drink and his breakfast at his? You aren't any more important than he is," they said with all seriousness.

Well, Eric's in college now with mommy and daddy's impertinence well ingrained!

After suggesting that comments regarding his barely acceptable work was just my "opinion," Eric added this special rejoinder.

When providing feedback, I’d appreciate it if you would not put things in bold, and/or use capital letters. This feels to me as if you are yelling at me, which I do not appreciate. I am trying my best to meet your standards, I would greatly appreciate it if you could try to meet mine as well.

I had to read the last line a couple times: I am trying my best to meet your standards, I would greatly appreciate it if you could try to meet mine as well. .

Yo, fuckflake! Following the published academic integrity policy isn't about you meeting my standards and -- hell to the no! -- it is absifuckinglutely not about me meeting yours!

First off, I can't speak for Eve R Y'Otherinstructor, but of the many colleagues I have met, not one has endorsed the lazyass practice of cutting-and-pasting lists -- or actually ANY content, for that matter, -- as being acceptable.

And, yanno what, oh ye of the sensitive constitution, I've only been teaching online for ten years or so, which means I am totally unfamiliar with Netiquette. But, as you have glossed over, my comments to you are not ENTIRELY IN CAPS or overflowing with boldness. I judiciously use these techniques for EMPHASIS in this the devoid of body language or inflections of tone online world.

Where is my beating stick?

This is the Best Big Thirsty Suggestion We Got Yesterday! "Talking About the Weather."

2012-02-16T06:16:00.000-05:00

My college resides in the temperate highlands of America. (You don't need to know more than that.)

We rarely get big snows or ice storms, but this winter has been exceptionally weird. And we close down like a motherfucker. If there's a chance Susie Snowflake will slip on a sidewalk while she's putting mascara on, talking on her cellie, and drinking a 5 dollar coffee, then the adminifarts just close the whole damn thing for everyone.

I have boots. I don't care. I'm not impaired.

I teach in a department more important than any other...yes, ENGLISH. The mother tongue, the sweet guttural English that we all torture. And I have 3 developmental sections where a single day off means that students simply aren't going to be able to improve their lot in life. This is my problem, but it's the school's problem as well.

I have unsuccessfully tried to engage my students via online meeting tools a couple of times on these snow days. But they don't check email apparently, or logon to the LMS. I feel like an idiot begging them to learn what they need, but my college doesn't help me.

Q: If you had a chance and the technology, would you push for online teaching or communication on snow days? I mean, we're not living in some other century. Just because we can't all get in the same room on campus doesn't mean we can't keep moving forward, and the amount of technology in my students's hands is even greater than what I have. Am I being overly anal about this; should I just take a damn snow day, too?

Abbie Is Annoyed.

2012-02-16T05:48:00.003-05:00

I am an adjunct at two universities and teach beginning and intermediate foreign languages. For this rant let's say I am teaching Klingon 101 (which is first semester introduction to Klingon). Of course we have a pretty standard policy on academic integrity. Which we discuss in the first meeting along with the syllabus. In that meeting and on the syllabus every student in my class will be able to read that online translators are considered plagiarism since the essay or sentence produced is not your own work. In the first meeting, I spend about a 15-20 minutes talking about this policy and showing my students how bad online translators really are. I also explain the consequence of being caught and show them how easy it is for me to identify whether someone used an online translator to write their essay. But semester after semester, there is at least one student who was apparently daydreaming through that whole rant and cannot be bothered to read the syllabus (even though I have different students read every single word on the syllabus in the first meeting).

Well that being said, essay two of Klingon 101 was due last Thursday and sure enough I get one very suspicious looking text. The evil person that I am, suspecting that my students are up to no good, I checked by typing random sentences into Google Translate. And, sure enough, from the hot mess that is the Klingon Essay I get a perfectly fine eloquent English translation. So in before class today, I gave everyone their essay drafts back and asked the student in question to please come and talk to me after class about her essay. This was, of course, a private conversation that no one else heard. When class began the first thing we did was to read the wonderful policy on academic integrity that is on the syllabus out loud again. Now, I had a class of 15 confused student and one very embarrassed student that would not look up from her paper.

After class the student came up to me and apologized after admitting that she used an online translator for her essay. No surprise their. So I told her again what the consequences of being caught are. Her excuse was that she just did not know what to write. WHAT? We give our students plenty of example sentences in their book and workbook. We even do this exercise as a partner interview in class. The question for Klingon 101 essay two is: "Write 6 sentences about your daily routine". Something along the lines of: I get up at 7am. I shower. Then I eat breakfast. I go to school at 8am. etc.... I guess for a college student these days this is a terribly complicated question that requires much thinking and contemplation. And now, I really don't know what to write or say to this anymore either.... Other than:

"Dear student,

I hope it was worth the 5 seconds you saved by using the online translator vs. rewriting the example sentences in the book or workbook.

Sincerely,
your highly annoyed Professor."

Joseph Corlett. Mr. Classy.

2012-02-15T14:01:00.000-05:00

Here's Joe visiting Italy's cultural spots.

From his Facebook page.

+++

And an Inside Higher Ed article.

2012-02-15T13:36:00.003-05:00

17 Students Arrested in TCU Drug Bust
Those arrested include four members of the football team

By Frank Heinz

| Wednesday, Feb 15, 2012 | Updated 12:17 PM CST

View Comments (30)

NBC 5 News

TCU Police Chief Steve McGee on the campus drug busts.

A drug bust on and around the Texas Christian University campus in Fort Worth early Wednesday morning led to the arrest of 17 students, including four football players, school officials say.

During a news conference Wednesday morning, officials said those arrested sold drugs to undercover narcotics officers both on and off campus during a six-month investigation.

"There is no doubt, all of those arrested today, are drug dealers," said Steve McGee, TCU Chief of Police. "These individuals engaged in hand-to-hand delivery, for money, with undercover narcotics agents. We will continue to work proactively to curtail drug use on the TCU campus."

Where does all the money go?

2012-02-15T12:55:00.000-05:00

I just consolidated all my undergraduate and graduate loans into one big turd of a loan. $400 conveniently deducted from my checking account, every month, for the next 30 years. Fuck my life.

On top of this, the jobs I've been applying to this year are offering criminally low salaries. My spouse has a B.A. and then went back to school for a two year degree in something that is actually useful. S.O. took less time to the degree, has significantly less loans (think $100 per month for the next 10 years), and started off making more then these faculty jobs I'm applying to are offering. So yeah, S.O. is now my sugar-spouse. I don't give a shit. Ten years getting a 'higher education', the joke is on me, whatever.

My question is, where is all the money going? I've been inside the university system for the past 15 years and I still can't figure it out. The SLAC I attended as an undergrad has increased per-year tuition almost 20K since I attended in the late '90s. They call to beg me for money, and I let them know I'll get right on that, in 30 years, just as soon as my loans are paid off. The R1 I attended as a graduate student can't legally raise student tuition fast enough, so they make up fees for everything. Class fees, technology fees, toilet fees, administrator fees, etc. They love that shit. My only intuition for the cost increases is that in the 5+ years I attended, I witnessed a constant parade of new administrative offices, full of new assistant and vice-assistant deans, vice presidents, and various other adminicritters. They certainly weren't hiring new faculty members or increasing RA/TA pay.

If not to the faculty and not to the students, where the fuck is all the money going?

2012-02-15T11:15:00.003-05:00

Fifty-Something College Student Can’t Fathom Why His "Hot-For-Teacher" Essay Upset His Hot Teacher

Joseph Corlett is 56 years old. And Joseph Corlett attends Oakland University in Rochester, Mich. Well, he did attend that esteemed academy. Seems as if the university elders and others just didn't get an essay he wrote for "Advanced Critical Writing" class.

The assignment, per Mr. Corlett: Write creatively about any topic in a day book.

The result: A journal entry titled "Hot for Teacher," based on the Van Halen song.

MORE.

February Snow Flurries

2012-02-15T08:55:00.003-05:00

As we get into the thick of the semester, the snowflakes have already begun to fall:

Capital-Phobic Cathy: You emailed me saying, "this is cathy from your hamster business communication class. im not doing too good and wonder what im doing wrong."

Look to the left side of of your keyboard. No, your other left. There is a key labeled SHIFT. You should try pressing it when beginning a sentence or using a proper noun, for starters.

We covered this in class. I gave a handout the first week which told you how to answer study questions. There's a whole section on the importance of using Standard English. It contains the sentence, "The shift key is your friend when a word needs to be capitalized." We even discussed it. I followed up on this with a detailed email giving extra tips for doing well on study questions. I reminded you in class to check your email. You would do well to take this advice as it also covers the other reasons you are failing, such as not using paragraphs, not giving examples, parroting other students' responses, and not meeting the minimum word count. I've asked you to make an appointment with me so we can discuss your progress. I'm still waiting for that call or email.

"I Have a Life Outside Your Class" Ivan: Part of being an adult is knowing how to prioritize your time so that you can give each aspect the attention it needs. Your work demonstrates to me that you have done little or no reading so far. When I asked for discussion about how three ancient hamster epics are alike and how they differ culturally, your response consisted of "They are all poems, they all have hamster heroes, and all the heroes go on journeys," thus providing me with a visit from the Clue Fairy. You asked for an extension on the first draft of the research assignment because you had an emergency. I gave you 48 hours, and you turned in a bunch of crappy links (Wikipedia? Encyclopedia.com? Really?) you'd Googled after I told you not to Google, to use the library, and to cite using MLA. I even provided you with resources to be able to do all these things with the click of a mouse and some basic reading skills. Getting huffy and telling me about your life outside class being more important than my "stupid assignment" is not going to change the requirements. If your life is so dramatic that you have no time to read, then perhaps Ancient Hamster Literary Classics is not the course for you this term.

Goodreads.com Gertrude: You're busted. The assignment called for annotations of three potential research sources. I gave it to you last week. You just submitted your research topic a week and a half ago. You turned in all fifteen sources required by the end of the term, and they were all books even though the assignment requires at least five articles. It's amazing that you found the time to read fifteen books in one week, but I guess Goodreads.com made that easy for you. Copying and pasting reviews word for word is plagiarism. We covered this in the syllabus and in class discussion the first week. You've taken Hamster Writing Fundamentals 101 and 102, which also explain this in great detail. You have no excuse. I'll see you in my chair's office next week.

At this rate, I will need a shovel to make it out of the blizzard before March!

Poetry Gone to the Dogs - a Contest

2012-02-15T07:21:00.000-05:00

Been a while since we played a game. So for a bit of diversion, here's a quiz to see if you can tell a line from Alan Ginsberg's "Howl" from the name of championship show dogs. E.g.

"I'm with you in Rockland" : Howl
"Casablanca’s Thrilling Seduction" : Best in Breed.

Waddaya say? STEMs vs Humanities to make it interesting?

I got 24/30 (stem)

It's on.

Completely Unnecessary Statistical Navel-Gazing.

2012-02-14T19:23:00.000-05:00

Sometime on Feb 20th we should cross 3 million hits. It will be our 606th day online.

On the next day we will rededicate ourselves to killing the site.

Your pal,
Fab

Where's the love ...

2012-02-14T14:58:00.000-05:00

... or the brains?

Yeah, I get it. I was born before the moon landing so I knew George Washington and probably still write with a quill.

So, hotshot technoflakes ... why is it you don't understand that your usual "I left several messages" flakcuse doesn't work?

Student files a grade appeal. And in a stunningly ridiculous moment of self-disclosure, doesn't say, "I had an Incomplete with Dr. Scared, submitted the work, but never got a grade."

No, no ... Clueless Carrie launches into a diatribe about how she submitted to my class the same paper she had submitted to another class and -- gasp -- she didn't know she couldn't do that!

[For the record, the only reason I even allowed her a re-do was that hers was the least soul sucking issue of that term.]

OK, full disclosure, I did lose her resubmission in the "pile."

But she then adds, "And I sent several EMails to Dr. Scared directly and through the LMS."

Huh? What now?

Lemme check ... the LMS sends all messages to our university addy so:

Open Outlook > Sort by Name "Clueless" > Click

Lookee here ... From: Clueless, Carrie Subj: Here's my paper

And after that ...

Nothing. Nada. Bupkis.

Do they really think we do not check?

Valentine's Day is now a valid excuse??

2012-02-14T14:22:00.003-05:00

Good Afternoon Mrs. Monkey,

I hope you have big plans for Valentines Day! I have to get an extension from you. My hubby has warned me that he will be kidnapping me at 4pm and I won't be back until tomorrow. He won't even tell me what we are doing or anything -- Isn't that romantic? So you see, I can't finish my work today. I wont be home for the rest of the night he said. So I was wondering about emailing you my work tomorrow.

Happy Valentines Day. Romance!! :p
Fluffy Fawna Flake

[+]

Oh Fawna,

What the hell are you doing? You are a grown-ass woman. You are on scholarship here. You are acting like you just turned Sweet Sixteen and run solely on batteries, Cosmo magazines, and lovey texts.

I am concerned about you. Were you aware that kidnapping is a crime? Is this one of your Comos secrets to a long lasting marriage? Are you also into spanking now? It is the cool thing to do, you know. And sexy times is all about cool.

But this accusation of kidnapping...detaining you against your will is not the way people express love for each other. I would call the cops if I were you. Okay, just kidding. Detention can be fun. But that's not the point. I realize you are in school despite being a little bit touched in the head, and that you aren't interested in what you are doing here but want the degree so your kidnapping husband will "respect" you. Honey, dearheart, nothing is going to get this man to respect you. He treats you like crap and then one day a year he takes you out and you think it's so peachy that you blow off school to tend to his every whim.

Really, I shouldn't know all of this about your life. You shouldn't bring it up in class or my office hours. Nor should you email me this crap. But you do. And I am NOT INTERESTED.

I've given you extensions in the past. You had some level of "validity" to your past requests. Mother-in-law ill, Husband broke down and you had to leave to pick him up off the freeway. But the last extension was borderline -- you had a cough and ran out of time trying to ward off the flu. Hm. So this one? This fourth extension in just over a month of school? I'm sorry, dearie. I can't give you a break so you can go out on a date with your pitiful husband. You knew V-day was coming. If you thought there was a chance at romance, why didn't you take the full 7 days you had for this assignment and do it then? Why leave it to the last night?

Oh, that's right. Because you do not care about your education. You are using resources to "earn your man's respect" instead of becoming more skilled for yourself. Why don't you just call this what it is: a MRS degree?

If you submit it late, you lose some points but it won't kill you. If you really need this suburban fantasy kidnapping, by all means go for it. Just take your lumps and don't expect me to be put out as a result.

Ooh! Maybe you'll get pregnant and then have a million new excuses for extensions!! YAY. Screw off.

Happy Valentine's Day. Hope he takes you to a Dungeon!!

kisses,
Professor Monkey

My School Needs to Fix This, Stat

2012-02-14T14:14:00.002-05:00

Alright. Guys? You may want to skip this one.

Women's bathrooms usually come equipped with a small garbage can meant to dispose of used tampons and pads. This is in every stall for privacy's sake.

My school does not have these in any stalls in any bathrooms.

The only garbage can, in fact, is usually right next to the door which is past the sinks.

In other words, if you are menstruating, you either have to A) flush things down the toilet that aren't really supposed to be, especially given the age of the plumbing or B) carry toilet paper cozied products past the sinks, past the waiting females, and throw them away.

Because of this, pretty much all my students know far more about my cycle than I am comfortable with them knowing (believe me, I thought about using the bathroom in another building when I first discovered this, but it simply is not worth my time). One girl was recently excited that we had "synced" so early in the term.

I don't care what else is wrong this place that we fix this year but this HAS TO GO. We deserve the same sort of decency here that every other school has afforded us in this regard. Christ.

Also? Happy Valentine's Day.

Job Seeker Thirsty: What the Fuck?

2012-02-14T09:51:00.000-05:00

Call me the anti-Adam from Altoona.

What the Fuck?

I was not as lucky as CM's poster boy for job success, Adam from Albuquerque. I'd bet he dresses more stylishly than me.

Anyway, I only had 2 MLA conference interviews, and then I waited. I finally learned that I was out of job #1 when some other poor sap on the job wiki posted something.

But Job #2...I lingered, and lingered. Where was my response, something, anything. Why do these fucking search committees act as if they are feudal lords from Lapland passing out the yearly goat?

What the fuck?

So after many weeks of waiting I sent a VERY polite and brief note to the search committee chair asking, "May I inquire where your search currently stands? Am I still a candidate?"

Nothing for ten days. So I wrote another similar note. Ten days is enough to wait, right?

Then yesterday I heard from them:

"Dear Anti-Adam. It is impossible for us to communicate with conference interview candidates during the search process. When we hire someone we will contact you."

Q: Is this right? Is this how it's done? They can't simply say, "We're on to campus visits. You're not included." Can't they say, "Sorry, we're behind schedule." What HR nightmare is in place that they can't or sometimes simply won't reply to candidate questions? Is this normal?

2012-02-14T08:23:00.000-05:00

Poets' love letters go online for Valentine's Day

Zoom

Photos

digitalcollections.baylor.edu

Image from one of the love letters exchanged by poets Robert Browning and his future wife, Elizabeth Barrett. The collection is now available online.

WELLESLEY, Mass. —

“I love your verses with all my heart, dear Miss Barrett ...”

So begins the first love letter to 19th century poet Elizabeth Barrett from her future husband, fellow poet Robert Browning.

Their 573 love letters, which capture their courtship, their blossoming love and their forbidden marriage, have long fascinated scholars and poetry fans. Though transcriptions of their correspondence have been published in the past, the handwritten letters could only be seen at Wellesley College, where the collection has been kept since 1930.

But starting Tuesday, Valentine’s Day, their famous love letters will become available online where readers can see them — just as they were written — with creased paper, fading ink, quill pen cross outs, and even the envelopes the two poets used.

The digitization project is a collaboration between Wellesley and Baylor University in Waco, Texas, which houses the world’s largest collection of books, letters and other items related to the Brownings.

Wellesley administrators hope the project will expose students, romantics, poetry fans and others to their love story.

Stupid Snowflake is Stupid

2012-02-13T20:40:00.000-05:00

My student missed her exam. I'm kind, I gave her a paper as a make-up assignment. It's on the syllabus that way, too.

Then, she asks me: "I was wondering if i am still allowed to do the missed exam question earn back that is posted"

Ummm ... no exam = no exam questions to earn back points on!

Hello?? McFly?? Hello??

The ADHD Epidemic

2012-02-13T13:29:00.002-05:00

If my classes are any indication, there is an ADHD epidemic.

Of my 36 students (3 classes), 9 have told me they've been diagnosed ADHD. That results in a dizzying array of special considerations I have to give them.

Those with the official notes from our student advisors get 2 hours to take 1 hour tests, get to write even the most inconsequential in-class assignment on their own schedule in the computer lab, and should get copies of my notes for class to supplement their own - as if they're taking any anyway.

But all of them also give me the ADHD line about where they can sit in class, how often they can get up and leave, whether they'll stay the whole period or not, and on, and on.

Were I a better man, I'd get into some formal training on ADHD so I could help my students better. But the thing is, their symptoms seem to worsen as assignments come up, and lessen dramatically when assignments are over.

Here's a common list of ADHD symptoms I've found a number of places on the web.

For the inattentive type, at least 6 of the following symptoms must have continued to occur for at least 6 months:

Careless mistakes/lack of attention to details
Lack of sustained attention
Poor listener
Failure to follow through on tasks
Poor organization
Avoiding tasks requiring sustained mental effort
Losing things
Easily distracted
Forgetful in daily activities

For the hyperactive/impulsive type, at least 6 of the following symptoms must have continued to occur for at least 6 months:

Fidgeting/squirming
Leaving seat
Excessive running/climbing
Difficulty with quiet activities
"On the go"
Excessive talking
Blurting out answers
Can't wait turn
Intrusive

Good grief. That's nearly every student I've had in an undergrad class for the past 5 years. Maybe it is an epidemic after all.

Were you a snowflake?

2012-02-13T00:35:00.001-05:00

What was the stupidest thing YOU did as undergrad that could have labeled you as an undergrad? See my answer in the comments to this really early thirsty (it's no longer the weekend here).

Crowdsourcing a Compilation of Adjunct Working Conditions

2012-02-12T19:10:00.000-05:00

Crowdsourcing a Compilation of Adjunct Working Conditions

Yesterday, Michael Bérubé, president of the Modern Language Association and newfound hero of contingent faculty everywhere, published the essay “Among the Majority” on the MLA website. The piece is a reflection on the New Faculty Majority’s 2012 Summit he attended last weekend in Washington, DC, as well as a recap of some of the MLA’s recently-released recommendations for fair standards concerning non-tenure track faculty. In the essay, Bérubé specifically cites this beauty of a quote:

Following a review of best practices in various institutions, the MLA recommends minimum compensation for 2011–12 of $6,800 for a standard 3-credit-hour semester course or $4,530 for a standard 3-credit-hour quarter or trimester course. These recommendations are based on a full-time load of 3 courses per semester (6 per year) or 3 courses per quarter or trimester (9 per year); annual full-time equivalent thus falls in a range of $40,770 to $40,800.

Full posting.

Snowflake saddled with funny-speakin' luddite.

2012-02-12T08:59:00.000-05:00

While enjoying my week-end beverage and crossword puzzle, I was approached by an acquaintance who has a child enrolled in the BizSkule where I teach.

Her child had serious concerns about one of our faculty. Her concerns: he writes on a blackboard -- with chalk; he has an accent, so she can't possibly understand what he's saying; he doesn't post his notes to the internet. Why are we letting "these people" teach our children?

And, finally, what could *I* do about it?

More Real Mail

2012-02-11T19:55:00.001-05:00

In my email today:

he instrustions i read on the course outline were that "For this essay you
are to compare the websites of three hamster fur weavers" and i
didn't know they had to be local ones. I wrote the paper on the three weavers we did in class and proof read it and am ready to submit it. was i
mislead by the wording of the course outline?

(Student is in every class including the two I modeled the assignment.)

Followed by this one:

I wrote to you a week or so ago indicating that I was coming into your Hamster Fur Weaving class late in the semester. I was hoping that I could take the initiative to catch up on what I had missed on my own, but can see that without your directive I won't be able to fully understand what it is I need to be doing. I felt shy about writing to you to ask for help, but even though my message is coming late I still want to give myself the chance to do well in your class

(Student was enrolled in class from day 1, and at the end of week 5 has not come to a single class and missed two assignments.)

Good Student, Bad Time

2012-02-11T13:08:00.004-05:00

This post is prompted by Suzy From Square State's below, regarding Creepy. I didn't want to hijack the thread, so here's what I started writing:

I have a student--bright, articulate, a joy to have in class--who is having terrible problems with depression. Her life story is a sad one (foster kid whose toxic, drug-addled parents are still in her life, and an emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend whose behavior is the kind you read about in the paper after he's killed his ex and then himself--"He seemed like such a nice guy"--and I have helped her get counseling services because I am not a therapist, however much my students seem to be comfortable telling me these things). She missed a few of my classes last semester because she simply couldn't get out of bed. She turns in A-level work: engaged, intelligent, fun to read. She's a good student having a really rough time.

She is worried about flunking math (again), and I bumped into her on the stairwell a few days ago. She was crying in frustration, having spent 3 hours on 3 problems that still weren't coming out right. She mumbled something about college being the only thing keeping her going, and she didn't know what she'd do if she flunked math again. I am afraid for her, but short of adopting her I can't help her further. I told her to talk to the prof, who is truly a good soul and is deeply invested in helping students succeed--if he knows that they need help.

Maybe college isn't for everyone, but what about when it's the only thing keeping a student moving through the world? This isn't really a thirsty...I'm just worried.

RYS Flashback: 2 Years Ago.

2012-02-11T00:05:00.000-05:00

Donzo Dale from Denver Kills It.

I'm so done with this career. Donzo.

Each semester of the past 5 or so has brought more and more depression. The classes. The stupid students. Lazy. I know this page gets off on the lively and spicy reports from the field, but I don't think I can summon the energy.

My students don't want to be there. Does anyone else see that? Why am I beating my head against the wall for them? Every day there's a new tragedy that keeps students from class, from doing their work, from taking part. "I had a stutter when I was in 5th grade." "My boyfriend has a split toe." "My mother can't find a babysitter for MY BABY." "I didn't know we had class today because it was snowing everywhere." "Do we have to?" "Do we have to staple them?" "Do we have to stay all class today?" "Do we have to type these?"

And I get these long emails from students who won't talk in class. "What did you say at the end of class. I wasn't listening." "I know you said the projects were due on Monday, but can I do mine on Wednesday instead?" "I'm having a hard time with my History class. Do you know someone over there who can talk to my professor?" "I'm having a hard time concentrating on my homework because I have undiagnosed ADHD."

And my boss brings in last semester's evaluations and closes the door. "Two students said you were very unfair in your grading? Do you think that's right? Don't you explain how grades are given? Maybe you better add that to your syllabus. Do we even have your newest syllabus? What is this comment here about, about how you told one student her idea was wrong? Do you remember that day? Could there maybe be a better way of helping that student? They really are the whole reason we're here, you know?"

Uh, yeah? Is that right? Jesus.

I smoke more than I used to. I drink more. I sit in front of American Idol and just stare at the flashing images instead of prepping class, because I get a knot in my stomach otherwise. Oh, and the bacon I eat. Just big plates of it. Bacon and toast. It tastes good. It never disappoints.

I walk the dog at midnight because I can't sleep. I stand under the stars and just wish that a fire would break out on campus and burn down my office and my classrooms. I want to get a disease so I can quit my job and go buy a boat in the Florida panhandle and just sail out into the Gulf. I want this one fucking student named Alicia to quit sending me her Twilight fan fiction because I made a joke one day in class that they should stop reading that stuff and read the textbook more.

I spent half my life in school. I devoted time and energy and passed up countless other opportunities of love and business and money and location so that I could teach what I loved. And now I just want out. But these past years have beaten me down so badly.

What have I done? What am I doing?

A Scam Warning From ChrryBlstr.

2012-02-11T00:01:00.000-05:00

So, I received the following e-mail today. Initially, I was surprised and actually flattered by this unsolicited offer. However, upon further research, turns out that it's a scam. Once again, the old adage rings true...."If it sounds too good to be true...."

From Knowledge to Wisdom

Journalism and Mass Communication

Print ISSN: 2160-6579 Frequency: monthly Current Volume: 1/2011

Dear Dr. Chrry Blstr ,

This is Journalism and Mass Communication (ISSN 2160-6579), an academic journal published across the United States by David Publishing Company, 9460 Telstar Ave Suite 5, EL Monte, CA91731, USA. We have learned your paper “Not All The Kids Are Snowflakes” in Snowflakery Conference 2011 , and are very interested in your paper. If you have the idea of making our journal a vehicle for your research interests, please feel free to send electronic version (MS word format) of your manuscripts to us via email. All your original and unpublished papers are welcome.

Currently, we are trying to invite some scholars who are willing to join our editorial board or be our reviewers. If you are interested in our journal, please send your CV to us. Hope to keep in touch via email and can publish some papers or books for you and your friends. As an American academic publishing group, we wish to become your friends if we may.

Best Regards

Emma

Editor Office

Journalism and Mass Communication, ISSN 2160-6579

David Publishing Company

1840 Industrial drive, Suite 160, Libertyville, IL 60048, USA

E-mail: journalism@davidpublishing.org; journalism123@hotmail.com

Tel: 1-323-9847526; 1-302-5977046 Fax: 1-323-9847374

Call for Paper(s)

Description

Journalism and Mass Communication is an international, scholarly and peer-reviewed journal (print and online) published monthly by David Publishing Company, USA. The journal serves as a bridge between worldwide scholars and public researchers. The journal publishes research articles, reviews, and letters in all areas of Journalism and Mass Communication. aiming to provide the most complete and reliable source of information on recent developments in Journalism and Mass Communication.

The e-journal provides free and open access to all of its content on our website. Accepted papers will immediately appear online followed by printed in hard copy.

Journalism and Mass Communication is indexed in following databases:

★ Database of EBSCO, Massachusetts, USA

★ Chinese Database of CEPS, American Federal Computer Library center (OCLC), USA

★ Chinese Scientific Journals Database, VIP Corporation, Chongqing, P. R. China

★ Ulrich's Periodicals Directory

★ Pro Quest/CSA Social Science Collection, Public Affairs Information Service (PAIS), USA

★ Summon Serials Solutions

Requirements

1. The manuscript should be original, and has not been published previously. Do not submit material that is currently being considered by another journal.

2. Manuscripts may be 4000-12000 words or longer if approved by the editor, including an abstract, texts, tables, footnotes, appendixes, and references. The title should be on page 1 and not exceed 15 words, and should be followed by an abstract of 100-200 words. 3-5 keywords or key phrases are required.

3. The manuscript should be in MS Word format, submitted as an email attachment to our email address.

4. Authors of the articles being accepted are required to sign up the Transfer of Copyright Agreement form.

5. Author will receive 2 hard copies of the journal containing their articles.

Peer Review Policy

Journalism and Mass Communication is a refereed journal. All research articles in this journal undergo rigorous peer review, based on initial editor screening and anonymousrefereeing by at least two anonymous referees.

Editorial Procedures

All papers considered appropriate for this journal are reviewed anonymously by at least two outside reviewers. The review process usually takes two to three weeks. Papers are accepted for publication subject to no substantive, stylistic editing. The editor reserves the right to make any necessary changes in the papers, or request the author to do so, or reject the paper submitted. A copy of the edited paper along with the first proofs will be sent to the author for proofreading. They should be corrected and returned to the editor within seven days. Once the final version of the paper has been accepted, authors are requested not to make further changes to the text.

Submission of Manuscript

All manuscripts submitted will be considered for publication. Manuscripts should be sent online or as an email attachment to: journalism@davidpublishing.org or journalism123@hotmail.com

Welcome visit our website at: http://www.davidpublishing.org/

Misery Loves Company??

2012-02-10T19:37:00.007-05:00

Sorry I’ve been incommunicado, but this has been the worst semester ever! I feel like the biggest prof flake in the world, but in this case reality is far stranger than fiction and some of it I just cannot put in a post in order to protect the guilty and/or insane.

Two complaints from students (first ever) and had to discuss them with my chair. Fortunately, I’d already been hard at work fixing the problems earlier this week.

My car blew up spectacularly, so after two weeks, found a replacement—which is now also having issues...guess a trip to the mechanic is in order.

I have a mouse in my house, so the exterminator should be here shortly. Wow, are my cats going to be disappointed that they won’t get to make new friends. They've been very eager to meet our visitor.

What's been your worst semester? What made it so rotten???