color me sarcastic...

good...then bad

2012-01-25T03:44:00.000-05:00

Well, it was just last night that I was thinking I should come on and give myself an update. Just so there won't be any huge gaps for future reading. I've been doing really well. Only a few rubber band smacks to myself. I had the weekend (fri, sat, and sun) off work this past weekend. The first time I've had a complete weekend off since June when I started. I usually work every Sat and Sun. Have had 1 Sat, 1 Sun off in 6 months and they weren't together. It was GREAT. Adam didn't come so I just got to relax and be. That being said I was bored out of my mind most of the time, but I got much needed physical and mental rest.

It started again last night. I'm laying in bed tossing and turning with this huge pit in my stomach. I only slept a couple hours total. It was one of those fall asleep and then wake up wide awake 30 minutes later then it would take me an hour to go to sleep again. I cried all the way to work today and couldn't stop when I got there :( I cried for 10 minutes after I got there. So work was ok, went better than a lot of days I have, mood wise anyhow. I was EXHAUSTED, got off at 8. Mom picked me up, we went to get something to eat and by the grocery store. I ate, watched a little tv, took my bath around 12:30, and layed down. It's 3:34 am, I am so tired, I've been crying again, and I can't go to sleep. Everytime I try I get that feeling in my stomach and just lay and stare and worry and cry. I am driving myself insane. I just popped myself twice, cuz I thought about killing myself. I know I'm going to have to answer for all this one day, and what am I going to tell Him? Well, now I have something new to worry about.

I was ok a little bit ago and when I layed down my phone and closed my eyes I started thinking about, Mom is going to die, not right now but one day it's going to happen and I'll have to live the rest of my life without her. I'm crying again. I cannot imagine life without her in it. She is literally the glue that holds me together, as together as I am. Just out of the blue I start thinking about that and crying. WTF???

GOD PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nightmares into day

2012-01-17T15:02:00.000-05:00

It's weird how a nightmare can pull you into despair. I have always had super vivid dreams. Last night I had a baby that someone stole from me and wouldn't give back and the end of the world was coming, we were all getting ready to blow up. I think it's ironic that I wish I was dead all the time and one of my hugest fears is the end of the world. There's a big theory out there that the end is coming this year. I have been terrified every since I heard about it. This is only January and I'm going to be obsessing over this all year.

So when I woke up today I did what I always do, made coffee and went straight to the computer. I still haven't heard anything about the job I'm waiting on, so I thought it would be a good idea to look for jobs. I found a few to apply for, none that I think I'll get. So, another idea I have going is after finding a new job to pay my bills, to go back to school and get a coding certificate. Now, why I thought that process would be easy, considering everything else in life, is beyond me. I don't think my school offers it at all. I found one through Forsyth Tech that is all online and that is do able, but it's starting soon and I have no money to pay for it. While I went there get this, Mom's last check comes this week. A man comes knocking on the door this morning and I found out she hasn't paid the building payment in months, the payment is $60 something and she owes $300, do the math. WHAT THE FUCK!!! She told him she would pay him when her check comes. The check that is supposed to pay my car payment, insurance, cable bill, and get our computers out of the pawn shop, and mind you, the last one we will get so who in the FUCK knows how I'm going to pay it next month.

I've been doing really well but, I have rubber band welts today.

been creeping again...

2012-01-14T01:27:00.000-05:00

Well you know that never turns out well. This time it was a girl I went to school with. I had to sweep the parking lot yesterday, and as soon as I walked outside I saw a girl I went to high school with. Haven't seen her since before graduation. I wanted to speak, but I was too embarassed. I know she is a business woman and I'm sweeping garbage at a gas station. I thought about it today and went to her facebook page thinking of commenting and asking if that was her I saw and say some bs about not being sure or whatever. I get to looking around and of course she married a cutie from high school. There were pictures taken at a Christmas party at a country club that they are members of and then a photo of her house that had to cost 300,000 bucks. Lordy me, so of course I started feeling sorry for myself and even more embarrased so I just decided to let it go.

Mom gave me a rubber band to put on my wrist. I'm supposed to pop myself when I have bad thoughts. Lets just say I'm surprised I don't have welts since I've been popping the shit out of myself all evening. God help me.

another typical day

2012-01-13T22:36:00.001-05:00

So today I finally got another 1 day off at work. Everyone else is getting 3 days off together I get 1 day and work 3, but I digress. I got up early and had to go grocery shopping. All the money is gone now and then it was time to get Adam. He has lost the phone I bought him. I'm trying to talk to him about him constantly losing all his shit. I mean he throws stuff around and that I pay all this money for. In the span of time from when I picked him up til we are about halfway home I cried twice. He is a total ass. I love him with all my heart, but I can't half stand him anymore, and I feel SO guilty saying that. So we have had an ok evening. I suggested playing Monopoly and immediately wished I hadn't but I did so I played. He is doing really well through the game I'm giving him all my money in rent and as always I get those couple properties I always go for and build houses on. All it takes is for me to get those to win the game. I put the 2nd set of houses on, he landed on one, I started laughing and he cussed me. So I didn't say a word, I just started putting the game away. He just came in here and asked me a question about something like nothing happened. WTF? I have begged and pleaded at work to get time off to spend with him and this is what I get. My one day off I get to go to the store and shop for him, go get him and be treated like shit. Oh happy day. I took this pic on the way home in the 5 minutes we were getting along and having a nice time.

a little setback

2012-01-11T23:43:00.003-05:00

My Mom has been awesome the past few days. She is trying so hard to make me happy. I love her so much. Now she doesn't ever want to leave me alone. She was up from Monday afternoon til this afternoon. I know a part of that was from worrying about me. After being up all that time, she told me last evening that there is hardly ever anything on TV that we both like and could watch together and she didn't want to go to sleep and miss that. I told her," I know what you are doing and I promise I'm OK. This is why I didn't tell you." I hate that she worries about me so. I worked this morning from 8-12 and God knows I'm not a morning person. When I came home from work, Mom and I went out for a while. She was able to get her Xanax filled finally. We took Adam's Chaps vest back to Belk, and went to the library and then it was just POURING down rain. We were supposed to go to Walmart and grocery shopping, but I was soaking wet by the time we left Belk so we got some lunch and came back home. Mom took a Xanax and drank a cocktail and went to sleep. So I cleaned my room, ate, and took a nap. I woke up during my little nap 3 times, and the last time the pit in my stomach was so big I couldn't shake it enough to go back to sleep. I had this dream that 3 guys I interviewed with (not really) came in the store on their way to work and I found out they had all gotten a job and they never called me. I am FREAKING out. When I was trying for Dell it was the same way. Dell dragged the crap on for 3 months. I put in my app and got the first correspondence from them in October. They offered me a job in January. This has only been a month, but their is SO much riding on this. I feel like in my head I already have the job. They haven't called Julie yet but it's only Wednesday. I contacted all 3 people that I used for references and I'm sure they will let me know. If no one else I know Julie will. I told her this morning to let me know if they called. Anywho, my nerves are shot. I am so stressed. There is the fact that I need this job so much for the money, I'm scared of going back to (essentially) the job I walked away from that started my downward spiral, I'm scared to go to a new place and learn all that stuff, and I'm still ,every day, trying to block out the fact I went to college so I wouldn't have to go back to work in a factory. God help me I am a lunatic. I want to take a Xanax so bad I could scream but I'm afraid as soon as I take it I'll get the call to take a drug test.
UGHHHHH!!! <=Think Charlie Brown.

My Mom

2012-01-10T03:57:00.000-05:00

Well I was right that I worried the crap out of my Mom. It is 3:55 am and she is sitting behind me talking. I keep telling her I'm ok, but I don't think she believes me. She has been so nice to me. I love her so much. I'm still sorry that I made her feel bad and worry about me, but the attention is nice to have, and I have to admit since I got all that off my chest I have been in a good mood the past few days. Maybe I should have opened up before.

Uh-Oh

2012-01-09T00:29:00.000-05:00

I called home from work last night to see how Mom was feeling and she told me she had read my blog. I was kind of speechless. I hate that she knows all that stuff. I mean in a way I'm glad, but it makes me feel kind of naked. When I write here I'm writing the real deal uncensored, because I know I don't have to filter what I'm saying. On the phone she said we were going to have a talk when I got home. Luckily we didn't talk about it much, it is hard for me to talk about that stuff because I cry. I can't even think about it without crying. She told me she knew I was miserable, but she didn't realize it was that bad. I feel like an idiot. I know that she is trying to make me feel better. I hate that I have hurt her. She didn't say I did, but how could it not have hurt her, and now I've just added all my crap to her plate and that is the opposite of what I wanted to do. S-H-I-T!!!! I told her she didn't have to worry about it because I would never go through with it; I just hate feeling this way all the time. The other night when I wanted to come home from work and talk to her about it and couldn't get the nerve, the reason was it doesn't solve anything and I'm just causing her more worry. It'll be ok, God I suck.

I'm ashamed

2012-01-07T00:19:00.000-05:00

I'm ashamed that I think of killing myself so much. It seems like the easy way out. If I wasn't so afraid of what happens next it would have been done a long time ago. That and the fact that if I killed myself I would, in turn, be killing my Mom too. Well like I've said I have those feelings more often that I'd like to admit, and the then I just read on the internet that a 12 year old girl blogger just died of brain tumors. She was courageous and a hero in the way she handled her disease and her motto was never ever give up. This little girl would give anything to still be there and here I am wishing mine away. My friend has, had, a 16 year old niece who died over the summer in a car accident. Again, she lost hers and I'm wasting mine away. I know that it is a sickness. The other night at work I thought that I needed to come home and talk to my Mom about needing help because I think about killing myself all the time and seriously wishing I was dead. When I got home I was talking to her and trying to work up my nerve to tell her, but I couldn't do it. She has so much on her plate already with her sickness and worrying about my autistic nephew. I don't want to add to it. I mean she sees what's going on and worries herself sick over me already. I know deep down I will never do it, but I don't like feeling like I want to all the time either.

Ben the Bachelor

2012-01-06T00:23:00.002-05:00

I'm not going to lie; I was very disappointed when I found out Ben would be Bachelor. I mean he was a nice and "real" guy, but I'm just not that interested. This season it's all about the girls and what they are doing. I just watched a clip of the model Courtney being a total bitch. She is pretty, but if you watch her, and listen to her for 5 minutes, her beauty fades dramatically. I don't know, maybe she has been coached to act that way, but she is this season's girl to hate. She is the one skinny dipping in the commercial. How do you get past that? If you are one of the other girls, how could you stay there after that? That crossed a huge line. I mean it's bad enough you are living with all the other girls your guy is dating, but to SEE him naked with someone? I can't imagine not packing my bags that night and leaving. I can't wait to see the girls reactions and how the hell he manages to still come out on top and remain the object of everyone's desire. It's unfathomable to me.

I really shouldn't blog in the morning...

2012-01-04T00:56:00.000-05:00

I was in a hell of a mood earlier today. It helped to be able to express those feelings. All day I keep having flashbacks of things that happened with my Ex that I was talking about this morning. On his fb there are lots of pics of his little boy and girl. I keep seeing the picture of that (really beautiful) little girl and wonder why I never got mine. I feel so empty inside. All my dreams have been dashed to pieces. Every thing I have ever wanted and worked so hard to get never happened. I am hoping and praying that I'm going to get this job that I DO NOT want because it's a step up from the hell pit I am at. At least with the new job maybe I can pay my bills. I worked my ass off for 2 years so I wouldn't have to go back to a factory and now if I don't get the job I'm not sure what is going to happen. I will have to move and possibly lose my car. This is not a joke and I really wish I was exaggerating.

Why

2012-01-03T13:20:00.000-05:00

I don't know why I do it, but I lurk around on facebook a lot. Every time I do it I end up feeling way 'less than', so why do I subject myself? My first love, or should I say my first huge mistake, blocked me a few years ago when I tried to talk to him. Really don't know why I tried to talk to him being as he treated me like a whore and then threw me away. I am not exaggerating when I say that. So you know the old adage about Karma and when you hurt someone you will be paid back. Well, I used my Mom's facebook to look at his. He is happily married with 2 beautiful children. I am still alone and miserable. So how does this add up? God knows I have been paid back for the hurt I've caused other people. Where is my happiness? I live my life for my Mom and Adam. They both love me, and take me for granted, and treat me like shit. I am unhappy and think about killing myself more than I'd like to admit. I was doing trash at work a couple weeks ago and got stuck with something that felt like a needle. The thought actually went through my head that maybe I'd get a disease that will kill me. I am sick. I can't talk to anyone. Everytime I start blogging again I get caught up in the special features I think I'm supposed to have like anyone is going to ever read this fucking thing anyway. Time to get ready to go to the Circle of Hell, FML!

11/18/2011 Breaking Dawn

2011-11-18T03:49:00.000-05:00

I just got home from watching the midnight opening of Breaking Dawn part 1 with my Mom and Sister. Oh. My. God, it was so good. I keep thinking about everything that made it spectacular and then another thing comes to mind. This was without a shadow of a doubt the best one so far. Bill Condon is a genius. There were a couple small things here and there that I missed, but there was nothing that REALLY disappointed me. I'm talking down to the way Jacob reacted when he thought Bella was dead ran outside and then decided to go back in and kill the baby. Rosalie sitting in the chair with the baby facing toward Jacob and then he imprints, I have been waiting so long to see what the imprint would look like I have chills just thinking of it. I haven't read Breaking Dawn in a while and the movie made me remember how things happened in the book some of it pretty much word for word. I cried at the wedding like I know I would. I was fine all the way through it and then the prom song Flightless Bird started playing. That did me in, I leaned over at the first couple notes to my Mom and said Oh my God prom song, I started crying and when I looked back at her she was sobbing. My sister cried when Bella was having the baby, she hasn't read the books so she didn't know what was happening. When Edward was beating on her chest I started getting choked up too. I already want to go see it again. My local theater has $1 drink and popcorn on Tuesdays so guess where I'll be the next Tuesday I get off work. I have a sense of complete and utter satisfaction.

A Baby Story

2011-11-02T02:30:00.002-04:00

For as long as I can remember all I wanted to be was a Mom. I wasn't about a career, or even really the husband. I just always knew I was born to be someone's Mom. I had sex the first time at 21. I went on the pill for a few years and then one day I had an epiphiany. I want a baby, I don't care if there is a man involved after the initial donation, why am I still paying $35 a month for these pills? So I stopped right then. Admittedly I wasn't very sexually active and haven't been since, but I've had my moments. Metophorically speaking, what I'm trying to say is I was never the girl who got out of someone's bed and jumped back in with someone else as soon as I could.

I never went back on the pill and never practiced any other form of birth control. I had boyfriends that I tried with and nothing ever happened. After a particularly long dry spell I started looking in to artificial insemiantion. Yep, sperm bank. I found a place that delivered to your door and you took care of it yourself. That was unsuccessful. I met a man that was all about helping me. He turned into a huge part of my life and we tried and were unsuccessful. He was the father of 7, yes I said 7, girls. Now 8, as he and his new wife were blessed with his first boy.

I went to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist who said he could help me. He talked me through the process and the fact that I've had a regular period every month since I was 9 was an indicator to him that I was ok. We would do testing, but he didnt see a problem. I started saving up for it. It would take me a long time to save money.

Meanwhile life is going on. I hurt my back on my job and started having many problems that stemmed from it. I was having so much pelvic pain my Dr did exploratory laparascopy and found that I had endometriosis in small bits. I won't go into details but it can make pregnancy a challenge. So I'm dealing with all this back pain and trying to find a solution for it.

This is about the time my mother is diagnosed with cancer. Thank God that by his grace she got through, but my part isn't over yet. I tested positive for the gene that causes breast and ovarian cancer. They immediately started talking to me about surgeries. I was hesitant for a while, but I was in so much pain already from endometriosis and I'm nearing 40 years of age I thought at least I won't be pining away all the time trying to figure out a way to have a baby. I won't have to wonder anymore. So I had a bilateral hysterectomy, which is complete and no chance any cancer can grow there, everything is gone, along with my lifelong dream of being a mother.

A year later I was put in a situation to have access to medical records. I looked up the operative report and pathology findings from my surgery. I found several problems, a growth on an ovary,among other things, and the actual lining of my uterus was not quite right. My uterus was also retroverted which meant it tilted back in the wrong direction. Some of these problems should have been visible during laparascopy and ultrasounds, but I was never told. All those years I had been trying and who knows if those issues had been addressed what would have happened. It helps to get that all out. I don't talk about it much because I cry, I started earlier and I know that my Mom doesn't want to hear all that again. I'm so glad to have a place all my own to come to when no one cares and I feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest. Ok...I'm crying again need to go find something to take my mind off.

go the f**k to sleep

2011-10-10T03:35:00.000-04:00

Posting this here so I know I'll never lose it. This is one of the funniest things I've seen ROFLMFAO

You win some, you lose some

2011-10-03T23:31:00.000-04:00

First and foremost I have to say, I took my credential exam this past friday AND I PASSED! I really really thought I was going to fail, but I didn't. I have been walking on a cloud about it. Well, I was until I went to work Saturday and realized no one had done any work in the cooler since the Wednesday before and all was left for me. Who cares though, I just do the best I can. Tonight when I left work I noticed an email on my phone. The interview I went on a couple weeks ago at one of the leading hospitals in the area turned me down. It was one of the best interviews I've ever had, I thought. I don't know how to get my ineptness at interviewing. I sucked at an hour long interview that I thought went great. I wish I could ask the lady what I did wrong. I am so happy that I passed my exam and I'm trying to focus on the positiveness of that and not the crippling fear of not being able to get a job. God help me.

MMMonday Moan 10.03.11

2011-10-03T23:25:00.000-04:00

Didn't really have an inspiration this week so I looked online and chose the first hottie I stumbled upon...Clooney is always a good choice

MMMonday Moan 9.19.11

2011-09-19T18:45:00.000-04:00

In honor of the new season of Dancing With the Stars, here is the sexiest man to ever samba across the stage...

Website Wednesday 9.14.2011

2011-09-13T22:36:00.001-04:00

I'm cheating and doing this early. I have to work a LONG day tomorrow and I'm scared I might forget. This website is Pophangover http://pophangover.com/2011/09/01/18-funny-tip-jars/ The link is to a funny article but you can easily access the mainpage from here. This is where I get a lot of the funny pictures I post. There is SO much to look at. I have spent hours here looking at funny silly stuff. If you are bored, this is a must stop. Have fun and have a great hump day.

Night of foot shaking

2011-09-13T04:55:00.000-04:00

So, this shall be a night of the insomnia inducing restless leg, or in my case foot. I have many tales of restless leg, but the one that happened last year is the most interesting. I developed restless leg over a period of years. It gradually got worse and worse as time went on. Finally about 2 years ago it was almost constant. Whenever I was still my foot would start tingling. It feels like someone is tickling the bottom of my foot.

You have to eventually start kicking your foot when it becomes unbearable. I was put on a drug called Requip and then Ambien for sleeping. All was good at first, as I built up tolerance to Requip I was taking the pills several times a day and at night. Then I lost my health insurance, Requip cost $125 for 30 pills. So when I ran out of pills I had to go cold turkey. I was awake for 4 days. Sleep deprivation does strange things. I spent hours on the computer researching and eventually found my truth. My problem started when I was put on Paxil for anxiety disorder. Then when I started having problems with Paxil I was switched to Zoloft and it got WAY worse. I had no idea of any of this until it happened to me. I also read that withdrawal from Requip was likened to that of Heroin. I can attest to that because I remember sitting on my bed finding this stuff on the computer and I was talking to two other people that weren't really there. I can't explain it. I knew they weren't there, and every once in a while I'd think stop it, but it kept going. I also saw people in the house. I almost had a nervous breakdown. I was to the point of discussing with my Mom if I should go to a hospital. Thank God for her. I danced on the edge of a nervous breakdown once before when I was around 25, and I think I came closer last year than the time before. I mean I was seeing and talking to other people, and when I say that I mean they were talking back. It was so scary, I was tiptoeing on the edge of a mental break. I still don't have health insurance and can't pay for medication, but I decided having panic attacks from time to time and being very high-strung and nervous is better than going through all the side effects of the meds.

Now saying all that, I don't know if I have some kind of residual damage or this is just a nervous system thing, but I still get the restless leg once in a blue moon if I'm extremely stressed, nervous, excited, or there is some other unusual stimulation. This is the first time I have experienced this in at least a few months. My CTR certification test is next Friday. I just realized today it's next week. I still thought I had another week and I'm almost sure I'm going to fail it. I haven't studied hardly at all, so I have set myself up to fail. That's a whole other ball of yarn. Weirdly though I drank 2 cans of Coke tonight and I feel like it might be all that caffeine. I have been having LOTS of kidney stone problems so I've been off Soda for a while.

It feels like it has stopped. I'm going to lay down again. Thank God I don't have to work today. It usually starts as soon as I lay down and get comfortable again.

Bachelor Pad 2 9.12.11

2011-09-12T23:22:00.001-04:00

Well the Bachelor Pad finale was full of surprises and some let downs. The final 4 couples went to Las Vegas to compete in their last challenge. It was a Cirque De Soleil contraption and most of the couples were terrified of it. All did ok except Ella and Kirk. Bless her heart, she was so scared and BLEW IT! I cried when she left. She was so upset that she let Kirk down. Michael and Holly won the competition, which was, by the way, judged by Trista Sutter, Jason Messnick, and Ali Fedotowsky. This gave them a rose and the ability to choose who they would go up against in the finale. They chose, big surprise, Graham and Michelle. Did anyone notice that Vienna was laughing in the limo and as soon as Kasey stepped in she burst into tears? I guess her timing was a little off, maybe she didn't realize the camera was on her yet.

Then we are sent into the live taped portion. The Jackie and Ames situation was heartbreaking. She was real and raw. He wouldn't even look at her, and couldn't give a valid reason that he basically dumped her. You got to wonder what is going on with him. I guess after they got out of the 'Pad' bubble the spell was broken. Remember he was rebounding from Ashley. I like everything that Kasey said and his apology for being a total DOUCHE was well received. I would like to think it was sincere, but the whole season he said everything, that everyone wanted to hear and was lying the whole time. So why should we believe him now. The only thing that makes me believe it is, Vienna looked PISSED the whole time he was saying that stuff and apologizing to Jake. I'm inclined to believe it because of that only.
How about Holly and Blake? I suppose it's wonderful that people found love, but when it comes at the expense of someone else, is it a good love? I think the engagement is WAY soon. Who knows though? They seem genuinely in love. The whole thing with Michael though. He was hurt and seemed like it was all he could do not to fall apart. He breaks my heart. I want him to be the Bachelor.

I really thought all along that Graham and Michelle would win. Money-Graham so cute! I was wrong though. Michael and Holly won and then made the choice to share the money, OF COURSE!

The new Bachelor was unveiled and just as reported it is Ben Flajnik. He wasn't one of my favs. I thought Ames would make a good one, and I think that may be one reason he and Jackie didn't work out. He was in the running to be the Bachelor. Ames is so unique it would have been a very interesting season to say the least. That's all from this franchise until the premiere of Ben's Bachelor on 1/02/12.

MMMonday Moan 9.12.11

2011-09-12T17:51:00.000-04:00

I took my inspiration this week from the DVD release of Thor. Chris Hemsworth is just delicious in this role...Oh My Goodness...

September 11, 2001

2011-09-11T00:50:00.021-04:00

I remember it like it was yesterday and not 10 whole years ago. I was working at night and going to college in the mornings. I had an 8:00 Anatomy class. I got out of class at 8:50. When I got in the car I heard on the radio that a plane had hit The World Trade Center. They were trying to find out if it was a problem with a plane or a pilot made a huge mistake. I went by McDonald's for breakfast and headed home. I was aware of The World Trade Center, but honestly, I didn't really know anything about it. It kinda seemed like a big deal so I turned on the TV as soon as I got home to see if they were talking about it. I had been watching for a couple minutes when I saw this:

I know it was ABC and this is the view I remember so I suppose it's the same footage just a different station. I ran upstairs crying to my Mom. I was hysterical, as was the nation. I watched for hours while the towers burned and eventually fell.

This is the day that changed everything. This is the day that our security was taken away. I heard it said on tv that this was the day our nation lost it's innocence. My Mom compared it to like when our house got broken into. He stole our security. Click HERE to read about that. I'm proud of how our nation came together to mourn. Every year it takes me back to that moment when I felt like the world was ending. Every time I eat an Egg McMuffin at home I think about it, and I'm not kidding. Our lives are forever changed because of hate. I know those people believe they were serving their God, but God is about love and peace. No matter your religion or culture, God is love.

God bless all the souls that were lost that day and their families who have had to live on without them.

Friday Fail

2011-09-09T12:51:00.000-04:00

This is wrong in so many different ways...

Website Wednesday

2011-09-07T15:52:00.000-04:00

This website is so much fun. There are these guys that search twitter for tweets they like and set them to music. The site link is, http://wesingyourtweets.posterous.com/ . These guys are amazing, maybe I'm a little biased because here is the link to mine: http://wesingyourtweets.posterous.com/?sort=bestmatch&search=%40colormesrcstic

It is just an awesome, original, unique idea that really works. I was so flattered when they did mine. Please visit this site and if you're on twitter follow them @wesingyourtweet, you never know when they might choose yours.

Random bitching and Wes Hayden

2011-09-07T07:39:00.000-04:00

I watched Bachelor Pad Beatdown as soon as I got home, couldn't wait to hear what Dave would say. ABC edited it to sound like Vienna had sex with Dave and Wes. Wes is still denying it; Dave said they hooked up, but he "didn't bang her." Let me just say Wes Hayden is freakin' hilarious. He is rude and crude and I love it. That (unfortunately) is my sense of humor.

Well there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel. A new lady is starting today and I start training another new guy on Friday night. I have to work Fri and Sat 3rd shift, which sucks, but the sooner they are trained the sooner my being scared of going to work is over :).

This morning I was so bouncy and happy people were commenting about it. It's my day off after 2 days of 2nd and 2 days of 3rd (I had this past Friday off but to me that doesn't really count because I worked Thursday night on 3rd. Technically I had 24 hours off, but it just doesn't feel like a day off. When you leave at am and that's when your day off starts. I still worked some of Friday and have to go back on Saturday. Anyway, I thought when I got off this morning I would work 2nd tomorrow and then be off Friday, finally another REAL day off. Right before I left, my manager talked to me about training the new guy that will take over 3rd shift on the weekend. I am not thrilled about it, but really have no choice. So there goes my weekend, and only day with boy. He's going to be upset and I don't like it because the only thing I look forward to is Friday with my boy. She told me I could have next Friday, then I know I'll have the next one to because I asked off for my credential exam. That day off I am NOT looking forward to.