Colours of My Wall

My Super Sandwich!

2012-02-12T20:34:00.001-08:00

The time when we were scammed

2012-02-09T02:49:00.000-08:00

RM30k+++

It was a horrible day of the horrible week. Not many people know of this. Even family and relatives. We have been keeping it to ourselves. Just me, hubby, hubby's direct family and my direct family. We do not want it to be out in the open mainly because we are ashamed of what happened. Anybody would. I am still feeling ashamed. Somehow I think, we have to tell the public. We are not so sure how it happens but it feels more like the work of black-magic than of rational mind.

Mr. Hubby promotes his business through YM, thus met this lady who claims to have a car problem in JB, where she was there on a business purpose. Being expert in cars he offers to help which ended up giving RM500 to the lady on the same night. The next day, the lady reported some other problem involving her bank account that caused her inability to pay back the money unless more rescue money is sent. She asked for RM1000. Then came the next problem which she faced, an invented problem which sounded surreal yet very convincing. The trouble with this was, every lies was very detailed. Mr. Hubby being desperate to get the first RM1500 agreed to the condition. He was like tranced to pay and bank in the money to the stated account. Very unlike him. Thus this carried on for a week which accumulated RM30k+. The highest she ever asked was RM17k. Surprisingly, all of the friends which he borrows money from agreed to lent it without much hassle and interrogation. Most probably because Mr. Hubby IS a very honest man.

The bank account used was claimed to be the mechanic's who helps the lady fixing the car at the time. The account named Azman bin Abu. I can't find any record in the internet reporting about this man (currently). Neither was last time. However, this man has actually scammed so many people but differently from what we experienced. He scammed using wedding packages to many couples. Each couple was at least scammed RM10k++ (as reported in an article). From the last time I checked he was caught and accused of his crimes in court. However, I do not know of any current news now.

I was devastated. I was 38 weeks pregnant. I was strained and drained as my money was used as well. We had to do family meeting between mine and my husband's. It felt almost everything was over. After discussion, we came to a solution on how to pay the debt. Mom-in-law and uncle helped out, so we just need to pay monthly to them. I really thanked Allah to the aid that he gave. I also felt that this challenge is to waken us from the distraction of the world. However, I don't want this to happen to another. That is why I take the liberty to write this up. Hopefully you came across this when you are checking about this crook Azman bin Abu from Alor Gajah Melaka. I lost the Maybank account number, but I will try to retrieve it someway for your reference.

Creating sunshine after the storm

2012-02-09T00:17:00.001-08:00

It's always sunshine after the rain.

I had a heavy downpour in the last two days. The relationship weather was a storm! More like a hurricane. We were almost stuck to the situation without being able to move to the left or right.

I have been doing some thinking. The real situation here is:

If I have been nice to Mr. Hubby like doing the chores by myself or giving him time off with friends, he will have the tendency to take more than what is given to the point of exhaustion. I can give the concession when I am able, but I can't take it if I feel I am being taken advantage of.
If I have been nice, and Mr. Hubby takes advantage, I would tend to be okay even if I am not okay. Up to a point that I burst and that when the real trouble came in.
If the blast happens, I tend to be inforgiving. No matter how Mr. Hubby apologized I would be stone-hearted at the stage of exhausting Mr. Hubby's patience. It is like I have used up all of my patience and is using up all of Mr. Hubby's patience.
Mr. Hubby has the tendency to put problems aside while I prefer to talk it right out before going to bed at night. BUT...I put in my ego to not start the discussion because I would feel if I did, it means I care more, whereas I want Mr. Hubby to care the same way I do.

There is more actually, but I think this is the main reason why the squabble does not end silky smooth.

Thus after such ferocious fight, we came to a conclusion:

Discuss problems right of the bat.
If the problem persists, we are going to take a break 10 minutes (advisable - pray/ take wudu'/ lie down)
Avoid doing anything else at the same time while discussing - improve our listening skills
At least discuss it before going to sleep - don't bring it to tomorrow

Definitely there is more...I think if we can reflect ourselves, we can have a very healthy relationship. I don't want to be so sad like last time :(

I am starting a learning center

2012-02-02T00:13:00.000-08:00

I am very motivated right now to start up a learning center aka tuition center. I prefer for 'learning' instead or 'tuition' because I want it to be as a ground that the students will enjoy learning. The real intention is that, I want to make this business as the fund maker for my real project; Leetle Beetle - a program for kids below 12 to play and learn, where I will organise it at a park; open to public, prepare toys and activities like story telling.
I had this idea because the activities I joined when I was in Australia (I was a kid) inspired me. I feel that isn't this is good if every Malaysian's kid get to have fun and enjoy reading books together.

In order to provide free or very cheap service to my project, I need funders. So I will be my own funder. Maybe later I could find more funders that might like to invest in the project. That is a long way to go. For now, learning center is in preparation. Once I get a new house to rent, bigger and more condusive, I will start the center. I am planning to offer English subjects just for now. Later I would definitely expand and offer more subjects. I am opting for quality not quantity, sooo most possibly it would be a bit more expensive than the local market. I am sure there are parents who would think the same line as me :D

Good luck Oya! Good luck with the new business! Good luck with your good intention! Good luck new steps to education in Malaysia!

Let's be positive people!

2012-02-01T23:54:00.000-08:00

Doa hari ini...

2012-01-31T22:28:00.000-08:00

Ya Allah, baikkanlah keberkesanan perbuatanku dalam segal urusan dan selamatkanlah diriku dari kehinaan dunia dan azab akhirat.

Ya Allah, tunjukkanlah aku kepada perkara yang benar itu adalah benar dan pandulah diriku supaya mengikutinya dan tunjukkanlah diriku perkara yang batil itu adalah batil supaya aku meninggalkannya.

Surah Ibrahim ayat 40-41 (Doa untuk rajin solat)
[40] Wahai Tuhanku! Jadikanlah daku orang yang mendirikan sembahyang dan demikianlah juga zuriat keturunanku. Wahai Tuhan kami, perkenankanlah doa permohonanku.

[41] Wahai Tuhan kami! Berilah ampun bagiku dan bagi kedua ibu bapaku serta bagi orang-orang yang beriman, pada masa berlakunya hitungan amal dan pembalasan.

If I am angry, calm me down.

2012-01-30T00:10:00.000-08:00

I have read somewhere once long time ago about anger. Rasulullah s.a.w. adviced Aisyah r.a to calm him down when he is angry, and he would too calm her down when she is angry. If not, there is no need of the marriage.

I was exhausted up to the point of losing my head. I wass VERY tired and my body is sore because I have to hold up between breastfeeding, holding and patting Aidan to sleep. Everything is sore! I was in the same position for nearly 3 hours managing such stressful situation without a break. Aidan was throwing a tantrum and being very difficult.

I just need support. That's all. A caring question. An offer of glass of water. Husband was watching tv and having a relaxing time of life. It happens when I accidentally snapped at him. He snapped back. Thus, I snapped.

No need elaboration, but the situation got worse. I was terribly sad and disappointed. How could he did this to me. What do I need to do to make him understand. I feel drained. I had humbly ask him to soothe me, yet he just let me be. How could he. So, I am again a bad wife doing things I am not suppose to do. I did it and felt remorse. But what is most remorseful is husband's attitude. He did not change.

Help me. I don't want to keep on drowning. Did I always complained about him, that I am not content with what Allah has given me...Such sad day, such disappointing day

Be my 'Awan Nano'

2012-01-29T22:08:00.000-08:00

I sort of listened to this song after it was awarded the best in AJL (Anugerah Juara Lagu). I have not listened to it until the end (not even once). So I listened carefully this time. I actually cried. Aaaah! Anything family-bonding related could get me into crying stupor. Especially when I am in a sensitive mode succumbing to pity-me mood.

So I posted in facebook

Lepas ni, kalau nak cakap
"you are my hero" I nak cakap "you are my awan nano"
"I need you the most" I nak cakap "I need you, awan nano"
"save me!!!" I nak cakap "awan nano!!!"

I need an 'Awan Nano'
sensitive mood again :'(

My Leetle-Beetle Baby

2012-01-22T22:13:00.000-08:00

This is Aidan Eusuf
From the first moment I see him, my heart melts. But I always keep in mind that he is the first born, a boy at that, the first in both families. So the eldest among later-to-be-cousins. Imagine later in life when all of us are old, he might be the one families would rely on. So...I am determined to make him into a VERY useful person :D

Aidan means helpful in Arabic and warmth in Irish. Eusuf is the name of a prophet who underwent numerous challenges in life yet went through with it by having strong faith in Allah. So...that's how I concluded it fits my baby :D

Aidan 3 days old

He now knows to smile :D 2m+

Shopping with mama. 3m+

Giving poses to Baba's new hobby: taking Aidan's pictures.

Leave me alone. I wanna be with mama

Medela Freestyle Breastpump...I have ordered!

2012-01-15T22:55:00.000-08:00

I have never imagine a breastfeeding gadgets can be so expensive. Normal price is RM2k+. I bought it through my friend which bought it in UK at RM1,350. Everyone must have thought that breastfeeding a baby saves alot since you do not need to buy formula milk. I did too! So now I knew that it can cost thousands. Sigh...I feel my pocket gets emptier.

However, I still think it is a good investment. To compare it with buying formula at RM250/month. My baby needs milk until 2 years old (at least). So I have saved a lot. So in two years, if my baby drinks formula milk, I would have spent RM6,000. Plussss, I get to use this for other babies too! If 4 kids I would spend around RM24,000...however, with breastfeeding I spent around RM2,000 which includes other gadgets and accessories for breastfeeding - mind, this is for all kids :D (happy mode). Yay!

For now, I am using the ol cheap one. Anakku manual breastpump. I am a right-hander. So I pump using my right hand only. I feel like my hands' size is out of propotion.My right hand is getting bigger than my left hand. My baby is now 3m+. I will only get my medela fs by March 12.

So I have somehow or rather will exercised my right hand for 5 months. My hubby's promise to help me pump is a broken ol promise. I can't even get to make him pump properly howelse do I get him to pump with a schedule. But thank God Mr. Hubby helps alot in cleaning the bottles and containers for the milk. Thank you! I love you!

Wuuuu, another century till I get an electric pump to rid me of this hassle.

P.S: I am thinking of using cloth diaper now. Any good advice? :D

Google Adsense first check...WHEEEE

2012-01-08T23:57:00.000-08:00

After trial and error with Google Adsense, I got it!!! USD115.96. How long I have been trying? Hehehehe...2 years! If you get this check every month you must have thought "this girl is pathetic". I know!!! I feel like that too. After two years?!

My first check from Google Adsense :D

Well I was clueless in the beginning. Sometimes no clicks AT ALL for days. Then a penny showed up then sometimes more than a penny...I have given up honestly. Then I started to do my husband's blog for his marketing purpose. Then the earnings got better as the traffic got better. Wah! I thought I could do it.
I have improved my traffic in a few ways, but one that works best is by Google Adwords. Yep I pay to get paid. Actually, I gain more if I add it up with the amount of customers that bought cars (he sells cars) from my husband, which was the main reason I created the blog anyway. I only pay Adwords RM2.00 per day. That's RM60.00 per month. Okay laaaa. Not so expensive compared to advertising it in the papers n mags.
So now the traffic is good, I get approximately USD23.00 every month. That is about RM71.76. So I get RM10 profit :DD Yeah...I know that's like a healthy sum of cavities. But the effort and the return is so worth it. I feel so happy. (Is this counselling session or whattt?). Now I feel a bit pathetic. I hope I could do better. I am finding ways to do it somehow. So please be my sifu.

P.S: I just knew that if you have foreign check, you need to bank it in at the branch which you made your account. I created mine when I was a toddler at JB(can't even sure the branch is still there), so I created a Melaka branch just for this purpose. FYI

Updates updates! What happened in January

2012-01-01T22:58:00.000-08:00

and before January...
Oh my goodness,
How long has it been since I've written anything in my blog. Aaaaanything at all. Since August 2011? Dang! That's like centuries ago. Wow...there are so many updates. Happy stuff, crazy stuff, emotional and sad trashes too. So it's January 2012. The world still lives on even though the Mayans said it's over by now. I am living fit and healthy but here are the 'small' changes since I wrote anything in here:

Aidan Eusuf poring his feeling when being cuddled.

I'm a mommy!!! Yay! My baby boy now is 3m+, Aidan Eusuf. I am soooo not going to count by the days, hours and minutes like mommies usually do. Well, I used to do it too, but I ended up being very lazy and stopped halfway before Aidan even reached 1m. I sometimes feel he has grown too much at a short time. I am wishing he could stay small and cuddly until he's 20...yeah...I know...fat chance...the fattest chance ever :D
I am investing on breastfeeding gadgets. I am hoping I could BF Aidan until he's 2 yrs old. Good luck to all other mommies and mommies-to-be. I am so jealous of mommies who have succeeded in BFing their child until 2y. Honestly...it is challenging. How much is the investment? RM1350 for a pump. Abah would have a popped eye if he knows this. I never remember Mak use any gadgets, even our bottles are the cheap ones. Good ol days huh.
There's this story I am willing to tell. I hope Hubby allows it to be public. But we were scammed RM30k+++. I am ever so wondering how did we survived all this while. That will have it's own segment :D I want to share as my positive intention to people out there to be careful of scammers. They are the lot that you should stuff garbage up their *** (use your own creative imagination ;P)
What else? What else? Oooooh! This is a must to tell. I am starting a tuition centre. Yep yep. I think I could start and should start anyway. There is not much competition as I see (around Bukit Katil, Melaka). I am hoping to start English lesson for upper forms. Mainly on writing. I want to teach that writing can be so fun!!!
One more stuff! I received my payments from Google Adsense!!! Yahoooooooo! The moment I got the check, I felt like I am soooo capable of being rich (the reality sank in 5 minutes after that...), so I feel I would want to go on with the plan of updating this blog, hubby's blogs (he has two - which I created AND manage for his business, lucky guy eh?)

Mass Email Collection...haih, buat pening kepala

2011-08-01T22:56:00.000-07:00

Ni nak bagitau pada sesape yang nak beli email collection tu. Memang lah bila dalam ad tulis yang ada 4 juta koleksi email, dari dalam ngan luar negara. Tapi sebenarnya, email-email yang boleh pakai dalam 40-50% je. Dalam ad siap ckp 98% memang valid. Kalau tengok bebetul, kadang tu dalam list yang dia hantar siap ada 3-4 email yang sama, tapi bila pindah excel, email2 tu cecah 140k, wow! Tapi tolak2 yang duplicates tu tinggallah kurang dari 100k. Bila dah masuk dalam software SendBlaster, dah hantar2, tinggallah dalam 50k. Ni yang betul sampai tanpa bounce-back.

I dah pakai SendBlaster (yang berbayar plak tu) even before org jual email ni beri dengan email-email dia yang banyak tu. Email I sendiri ada dalam 5k, tapi yang ni mmg yang berkualiti. Yep I do business marketing mengikut undang-undang. Ada subscribe dengan unsubscribe link bagai. Hanya hantar newsletter sekali sebulan. Yang x minat boleh unsubscribe, nama terus padam dari database. I am not a spammer, hantar email pelik2, pendek2 & x masuk akal. Only my product. Jadi bila dapat email yang banyak2 ni happy la jugak bole spread the words around. Tingkatkan traffic tingkatkan pendapatan. Rupanya, byk2 pun pening kepala. Nasib baik lah dia jual murah, RM50 aje.

Cuma rasa kurang puas hati sbb yang di war-warkan lebih hebat, tapi rupanya hampir2 mcm scam lah jugak. Sekarang ni masih filtering email2 yang valid, and one that works, rasanya amek masa sebulan gak ni. Nak buang duplicates dengan nak buang yang invalid, tolak yang email inactive (yang ni kita x dapat tahu sbb email sampai, tapi user da x guna email lagi). Kalau tanya I sebenar-benarnya berapa email yang boleh dipakai dan yang boleh beri kesan kat business you all, only about 30%. Hmn, okay lah kooowt for RM50.

Tapi kalau korang don't mind about the tedious process nak dapat valid email. Boleh lah hubungi

EN. MOHD RAMLI BIN ABDUL RAHMAN

ACC MAYBANK 153010587212

EMAIL emailaktif2010@yahoo.com

I have just realized...I am becoming a mommy

2011-06-15T21:40:00.000-07:00

I felt that I am a normal human being - female having bittersweet life. I did not realized that I am becoming a mommy, or rather the truest meaning of becoming a mommy. After 5 months pregnant. It just dawned on me last night, sinking into my conscience slowly yet very deeply. Suddenly I felt that I cannot play in the drain anymore, I can't jump around in a concert and I can't just pack my bag, jump on a train/bus and off to La-la-Land. I can, but rather not to, because I have a child that I care.

How it happened? My baby's kicking is becoming stronger up to a point it woken me up late at night. I have to sing the lullaby I invented for him - or rather hum (due to heavy drowsiness). 3 months ago I laughed at the thought of singing to my baby. I have a rather croaky voice and I consider myself tone-deaf. Karaoke is something I do when coerced which I will choose songs that are easy to sing and very popular so others will ended up singing along. Hah! Now I have invented a song specially for my baby! I am astounded, fascinated and cartwheel-surprised of myself!

From Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, Children are from Heaven, I learnt that each children have different ways to learn, participate and feel loved. Each time I read the book I will try to memorize the perceived-important details so that I can plan the trip to the park, what's for dinner and what-not. I am becoming more concern of my child's response to the world and I am kept on remembering I am bringing him into an unknown medium out of his own will. The feeling is very different from owning a cat, the responsibility is tremendously too scary to think. And I am afraid, really afraid.

Yet, I bought his clothes the other day. An overall with little socks, small pants that can't even fit my foot (don't ask why I even try to put it on me). I can't wait to see him, nibble his fingers or small toes or what-else I would like to do. The feeling is great. Too great. To friends who have babies, I envy to my deepest soul and I enjoy seeing the pictures up to a point I would like to kidnap your babies :D

En. Salehudin Ahmad...I love you #>,<# -blush-

2011-04-27T23:52:00.000-07:00

Ehehehe...
I wonder if you read this...
I hope you read this even 10 years from now...20 years or even when I am gone (or away...lets not make it emotional)
Best if you read this when we are having a fight.
If you do, come gimme a hug okay :DD

My baby is big

2011-04-26T02:16:00.000-07:00

I went for a checkup today,
As normal, they would check the baby's growth

The nurse said my baby is big
His size is about 18 weeks old,
which should be 16 weeks old only.

Should I feel good about it?
No trace of sugar in my urine,
so it's not diabetic.

So it's just a fat baby?
My baby has eaten 2 weeks worth of food eh
No wonder mummy feels hungry ALL the time.

My Celcom Broadband

2011-04-25T00:40:00.000-07:00

I really want to fling it out the window,
I can have intermediate speed by setting 3G only,
but, every 10 minutes the line will be disconnected.
If I succumb to GPRS line,
I can load a page at the rate of a plate of nasi lemak half-finished.

These Celcom people really is the best in cheating business.

Now, I missed a month payment,
I scheduled my bills from online banking,
Dunno why Celcom couldn't accept online payment,
Now that they accepted it,
they cut off my connection because I have not paid full.

I am still paying but my connection is still off,

Letter to Miss Stomach

2011-04-24T06:59:00.000-07:00

Dear Miss Stomach,
I am truly aware of your importance,
however, there are few things I hope to discuss.

I have noticed that you need feeding every 2 hours,
I am imagining you to be a barrel of pure acid,
which is almost scary...
I don't mind that, truly...well half truly,
I am just hoping, for your consideration,
to accept anything that I feed you.
Instead of throwing up things you don't like,
how about you digest them and they will be gone eventually.
For your advantage, the food are very nutritious.

Another is that, you have constantly create cravings,
that I cannot fullfil all the time.
You have had your Pizza Huts, McDs and KFCs,
every other fortnight.
They are full of transfats and other-unhealthy-stuffs,
and I cannot feed you any more durians too,
due to many well-known reasons,
diabetis, dark skinned babies etc
and good durians is only good when you eat it with Mak Ngah.

I hope due to all respect, you could consider my proposal
very thoughtfully.
I cannot take the panic that I have to go through
everytime you yelled out being hungry,
As it has most of the time rendered me helpless,
and causes panic with Mr. Hubby too.
We really don't want to fight over food.

Your consideration is very much appreciated

Challenges

2011-04-21T00:58:00.000-07:00

As parents, our job is not to protect our children from life's challenges but to help them successfully overcome them and grow

John Gray,'Children are from heaven'

Talk to the baby

2011-04-21T00:55:00.000-07:00

So now my princess/prince is 15 weeks old.
It's advisable to talk to him/her.
So how should I address princess/prince?
It's a bit awkward not knowing the sex.

Although the Doc, me and Mr. Hubby witness seeing his weewee
during our first scan at 14 weeks.
Which of course not 100% confirm.
Nevertheless, I still would LOVE to talk to my baby.

But we all know the frogs go LA DI DA DI DA

2011-04-15T04:30:00.000-07:00

Another frog thingy!
This time it's a song

I just love them
When I was little
I felt deceived after I saw this piece. AHAHAHAHA
I remembered the song until now

Der Glumph went a little green frog one day
Der Glumph went a little green frog
Der Glumph went a little green frog one day
And he goes Glumph Glumph Glumph Glumph

But we all know the frog goes
La Di Da Di Da
La Di Da Di Da
La Di Da Di Da
we all know the frog goes
La Di Da Di Da
They don't go Glumph Glumph Glumph

Tiddalik the frog

2011-04-15T04:15:00.000-07:00

I remembered a funny Australian folk's story
About a frog named 'Tiddalik'

Tiddalik laughing

Tiddalik has drunk all the water in Australia
So the animals gathered to try to make him laugh
Cz that's the only way he will spills out all the water

They tried many different jokes which are so funny
But Tiddalik never seemed interested

The frustrated Platypus got mad
B'cz everyone is making such a hectic noise near his house
and all he wanted to do is sleep (how selfish)

He came up to Tiddalik and scolded him,
telling the monster exactly what's on his mind
Because the way he talks is like blabbering and spitting
Tiddalik got amused and laugh out loud
Spilling all the water, returning it to the lakes, rivers and seas.

Everyone is happy they got their water
and Platypus gets his sleep

Ahh, another book to collect :D

Dragonball

2011-04-11T23:09:00.000-07:00

Baru je nak baca Dragonball.
Orang lain mesti dah khatam lama dah.
Interesting how people can create such catchy story
that cannot make you stop reading

Ubat hospital saaaangat tak sedap

2011-04-11T01:04:00.001-07:00

yang warna kuning tu

To support and be supported

2011-04-01T00:11:00.000-07:00

It really breaks my heart
that I am found to be a hindrance to your job

I have not supported enough?
I have not given enough?

How is it to support anyway?
How is it so to be supported?