Columbia Chatterbox

Come again?

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XY) — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 21:22:00 -0500

Get this girl her own show.

Snowboarding in NY

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XY) — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 19:43:00 -0500

Obviously we have a lot to update our readers on... but for now, check out some video of Team Richardson snowboarding. After only 2 days, we transitioned to the beginner trails... a feat that usually takes 5-6 days. Clearly we excel at everything we do.

XX Snowboards

XY Snowboards

Wanted: Podcast Ideas

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (Stuck) — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 15:15:00 -0500

Submit ideas in comment form so that XX and XY will have something to chat about. :)

Hitting the dirt

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XX) — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 17:12:00 -0400

Well this morning I woke up at 5:30 to stretch and do my normal pre-running routine. I got directions and was on my way to the USMC Mud Run. Some guys I work with needed another girl on their team and one of the guys works out at the same gym as the XY and I. He knows that I run and that the XY and I are always hitting the weights and thought I would be perfect for their team. I checked out the website before I said yes and it did not look all that bad. It was a 4.2 mile obstacle course that is full of mud, hills, ropes, and did I mention mud? I was going over and under logs in waist high pits of mud, then running through mud and then at one point swimming in an 8 ft deep 20 ft long mud pit!!! While this is going on Marines working the course are shouting at you to speed up and keep running!!! Running 5K and 8K's are no big deal for me but I must say this thing kicked my butt. For the last 75-100 yards of the race we had to put a member of the team on a stretcher and carry them across the finish line. I am by no means the lightest person on the team so the other girl was nominated to be carried across the finish line. I gladly hauled ass across the finish line and was happy that we completed the race in just under 1 hour and 4 minutes. After crossing the finish line I have never felt so proud of my self. I am now feeling the aches of the race but it was well worth it!!! What a way to start the first few weeks in my 30's!!!!
Now I am just relaxing watching the South Carolina vs LSU game and enjoying a beer. We grilled hamburgers and hot dogs and are just hanging out. I am not sure if we are going to pull this win out against LSU but at least we are not sitting in the rain watching it.

One year older

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XX) — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 20:18:00 -0400

So it is the eve of my 30th birthday and I am enjoying the birthday of the XY tonight (he turns 29). We enjoyed a nice evening in just relaxing. I have been thinking about life since the return from our vacation and how getting older is not all that bad. I look forward to my physical peak, my sexual peak and just life itself getting better. The XY and I do realize that we need to take more vacations because only one a year is just not enough. We are planning a fun trip to Vegas for the entire week of Thanksgiving so that will be a blast!! I already have my 4 inch heels and sexy dresses ready. Not much else to talk about so I am going to enjoy the last few hours of being 29!

Vacation Bound

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XX) — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 20:45:00 -0400

So in less than 2 weeks, XY and I are going on a much needed 7 day vacation to Aruba… thanks to the best in-laws in the world (they let us use their time share).
I have gotten to the point this week at work where I can't stand my employees and the phone ringing makes me sick to my stomach!! I just have to keep thinking positive!! My best friend from high school and XY's best bud from the Army will be joining us for the week. There is nothing more relaxing than a beautiful beach, the best man in the world and great friends (and a fruity cocktail doesn't hurt either) to make a vacation just what it is: a VACATION!!!
I will be all over the beach in my new bikinis and my new bikini body! For the first time since high school (12 years ago) I finally feel comfortable with my body in a bikini. All the waking up at the butt as crack of dawn, the caridio cinema, the weight lifting and running for the last 8 months, day and night, and no dieting (but just eating healthy) has paid off! I am at my goal weight and have maintained it for the last 4 months!!! No more yo-yo weight!!! Yeah me!!

Storm a Brewin'

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XY) — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 22:41:00 -0400

New topics, new rants, new wisdom... coming soon.

Valentine's Day is for suckers

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XY) — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 22:15:00 -0500

The story behind the pic: I snapped it today while driving around town. If you live in Columbia, SC... you can see it for yourself. It can be found in front of the Jamil Temple while driving west on I-26. Women, remember: Hummers aren't just for birthdays anymore!

As for the upcoming holiday... I'm pretty certain I posted something last year about how Valentine's Day is for suckers... so instead of repeating myself this year, just read this this.

--XY

The Resurrection Begins

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XY) — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 00:37:00 -0400

Okay, it’s time to resurrect the great institution: Columbia Chatterbox. With the Mac back up and running (fully functional) and all our audio equipment still in working order, it’s time to start posting again. The problem? We need material! Of course we still have a penchant for crafting witty, humorous rants… but we’d rather ~~rant~~ bitch about what you want to hear. Hit us up at columbiarants@bellsouth.net.

More coming soon…

The XY!

We're (almost) back!

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XY) — Fri, 30 Jun 2006 00:07:00 -0400

Surprise, you thought we were gone forever. Well, we’re not. Hopefully but sunset tomorrow, we’ll be mostly rehabilitated from the hard drive crash and able to blog and podcast as we used to. So stay tuned… the blog is not dead!

APB: Missing Podcast

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XY) — Sun, 9 Apr 2006 22:57:00 -0400

Well, we didn’t post a podcast this weekend, as promised. What happened? Our most valued toy is back and we had to prep it for the upcoming sunny weather. Yes, we’re still bitter… and yes we’re still planning to podcast (soon). Stay tuned!

--XY

In Other News...

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (Stuck) — Thu, 6 Apr 2006 13:46:00 -0400

A podcast was found dead last night in a neighborhood not too far from Harbison. An autopsy revealed the cause of death to be exposure, which was a direct result of negligence. Authorities were able to track down the owners of the unfortunate podcast, but have not pressed charges yet. Our news team was first on the scene to question these villains, who were reluctant to speak on the matter.

"I don't have to answer to you!" exclaimed a man calling himself 'The XY!'

"Calm down, honey," replied his spouse, known only as 'The XX.' She was far more cooperative with our interviewer, and told us that they had "meant to get around to it" but they just "never had the time."

At this point in the interview, 'The XY!' became even more agitated and, being African American, made our interviewer very afraid.

Diamonds are for Suckers

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XY) — Wed, 22 Feb 2006 21:13:00 -0500

Aside from me, there's not a more anti-diamond (as in engagement ring) man in this world. There's not a bigger ripoff in the world... other than maybe oxygen bars, but that's a whole 'nother rant. Read why diamonds are for suckers.

--The XY

Valentine's Day Show

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XY) — Tue, 14 Feb 2006 23:20:00 -0500

In keeping with tradition of bitching about Valentine’s Day… we had to do a special V-Day Podcast.

Enjoy,
--Team Richardson

The bitter is back...

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XY) — Tue, 7 Feb 2006 00:43:00 -0500

…well, not quite. However, even though we’re not as bitter as normal, we come close. Topics include: girls night out, why couples that work…work, and date interview questions.

Enjoy!
Team Richardson

Stay Tuned...

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XY) — Sat, 4 Feb 2006 13:27:00 -0500

Okay, so we didn’t post a podcast yesterday as promised. Between work and XX preparing to leave town for the weekend, podcasting was low on our list of to-dos yesterday. Fortunately, since I’m a geographical bachelor for the weekend, I’ll have plenty of time to write for our upcoming recording. So stay tuned… we’ll have some new material up shortly.

--THE XY!

Team Richardson is slack

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (Stuck) — Thu, 2 Feb 2006 13:05:00 -0500

Yeah, I'm calling them out on their own blog!

Stop admiring your new Mac and wonderful microphone and use the damn things!

The Hiccups

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XY) — Sun, 15 Jan 2006 23:58:00 -0500

This isn’t a Podcast at all... just a funny sound clip of XX and her unique sounding hiccups. Hopefully they’ll get the same reaction out of our listeners that they get out of us!

Team Richardson

We're Back!

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XY) — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 00:42:00 -0500

Okay, we still don't have my new mic yet... I've found a solution that's just as good! Sure, this one is a little rough (it was totally off the cuff, no scripts)... but it sure does sound good (from an audio quality standpoint).

More dating advice... from the married.

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XY) — Sun, 8 Jan 2006 23:52:00 -0500

Sorry readers, I should have posted this after Saturday night's dinner. Team Richardson got home and started watching the boob tube and I totally forgot to post this. Enjoy!
------------------------------------------------

We didn’t plan it, it just happened...

Team Richardson finally had a day where XX and XY did nothing but spend time together... which means we came up with lots of good stuff for the blog. Days like that are good because it gives the creative staff time to figure out what we’re going to rant and Podcast about. Of course, the leading topic was dating.

As the day began to wind down, we began our search for food. Somehow, we decided to dine at a restaurant we’ve eaten at only once before. On our first trip, the food was mediocre... and so was the service. But after months of honing their routine, I must say everything improved by 100%. The food was possibly the best the city has to offer (in Southern cuisine), and the service was great! Until tonight’s meal, Team Richardson seemed to be doing an awesome job of landing the city’s worst servers.

Little intimate restaurants are great for us, as they provide lots of people watching. There’s usually plenty of couples (couples are fun to observe; how they interact with one another and the wait staff could keep us occupied all night), many of which who appear to be on the first (or first few) date(s). New (or at least those who appear to be new) couples are our favorite, they always looks so uncomfortable and cautious. It was during one of these observations that XX blurted out, “Movies make horrible first dates!” She’s right.

The whole dinner and a movie thing should be reserved for couples in their third month of dating (if not more). The reason we feel this way: if your first date is a movie, you’ve just spent two hours with a stranger, and that person is still a stranger by the end of the night. Movies totally prohibit conversation. You go, sit, watch, and listen to a screen... not the person you should be watching and listening to. In fact, I can’t think of a better way to spend a two hours with someone and not learn a single thing about them. After we were done discussing the “movie is a bad date” thing, we came to the realization that dinner (in our opinion) is an equally bad first date. Our reasoning: if the conversation suddenly goes bad, you’re stuck with someone you want nothing to do with for probably another hour or so (well, I guess you could get up and walk out).

So how would we start off dating? Over drinks or coffee. Both occasions are short, cheap, and easy to bail out of if things suddenly head south. After a few dates of this type, both parties should have enough information about one another to decide if they want continue spending time (and in the man's case, money too) with the other. After that, continue to keep it light... maybe a trip to the museum, putt-putt, or bowling. Hell, even a game of Battleship could be a great time (the game moves so slow it forces interaction). After those dates are successfully completed, dinner then becomes an option for the new couple. Hmm... maybe we’ll address dinner locations in a future post/podcast.

--Team Richardson

First Rant of 2006

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XY) — Sun, 8 Jan 2006 23:43:00 -0500

Consider this my first Public Service Announcement for 2006... even though it’s definitely a rant.

If you are female and single right now (in January), you’re stuck like that until at least after Valentine’s Day. Yes, until February 15th, or later. Why? Dating savvy men know not to get entangled with a woman between late November and Valentines Day. The reason should be obvious: if we start dating a girl between those dates, it pretty much obligates us to buy a stranger presents. Shopping for people we know is hard enough, but for some random woman we just met is damn near impossible.

So women, if you’re single right now... start planning a girls night out for V-Day... because the immediate dating future is bleak.

And men, if you are single, don’t start looking for a woman until after Valentine’s Day (actually, the 14th is a great day to be on the prowl... it’s usually pretty easy pickings), or else you’re going to add unnecessary headache to your already hectic lives.

--THE XY!

Mic Update

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XY) — Sat, 7 Jan 2006 21:48:00 -0500

I talked to the audio store guy yesterday to find out that they sold the last mic “two days ago” The good news is that I’m at the top of the list for the next one that comes in. So stay tuned... we should be up and Podcasting soon!

--The XY!

First Post of the New Year

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XY) — Mon, 2 Jan 2006 01:11:00 -0500

Since it’s a New Year, I figure I should attempt to post more to our blog. And no, we haven’t abandoned Podcasting... we’re still waiting on the new mic to come in. I promise, once we get our new mic, we’ll immediately resume our podcasting. Trust me... it’ll be worth the wait.

So how did Team Richardson usher in the New Year? With some of our buddies of course! We headed to a local watering hole to check out the 80’s cover band, 88 Rewind. They were phenomenal. Playing a carefully constructed mix of some of the biggest hits of that decade, they easily allowed the crowd to dance the night away. We hope to see them many more times. I must thank Stuckey for inviting us to hang with him and his crew for the evening. Had he not asked us to help him ring in the New Year, Team Richardson would have ushered in 2006 from the “Pilot/Co-Pilot seats” and promptly retired to bed (that would have been the first time since the incarnation of the Team that we wouldn’t have been out for New Year’s, and it would have been the first time XY would have stayed in for a New Year’s Eve). We owe him big for pulling us out of the house for the biggest party night of the year.

On behalf of the Team, I’d like to thank everyone who helped us make 2005 a successful year. Our goal for 2006: repeat 2005. Good luck to everyone in the New Year and stay tuned for more rants, random thoughts, and funny observations. We’ll work to make this the most random, cynical, sarcastic blog on the web... which shouldn’t be hard considering who is heading the writing and creative staffs.

--THE XY!

no holiday here...

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XY) — Tue, 13 Dec 2005 22:38:00 -0500

Hi, this is XX here just to post a quick note about the upcoming holiday. XY and I have done no decorating this year. If you come by our house you will see 2 red bows on our front porch, a jingle bell wreath on our door and a candy can on our walk way. We have not even put up a tree. Maybe all those years growing up where my parents used us kids to unpack and hang up ALL the decorations have made me dislike putting up and taking down a tree every year. Growing up our trees never had a theme; it just looked like someone threw up a bunch of decorations gathered through the years and hung them on a tree with some lights and a tree skirt. The only thing I like about decorating was this wreath that my dad’s mom had made like years and years and years ago and it is still in perfect condition to this day. It is beautiful!!!
It was also my job to vacuum up all those damn tree needles and to try to get the dog to stop drinking the water the tree was sitting in. Then, after Christmas was over my parents made us kids put all the decorations away. That took up my whole Saturday!! I could have been watching movies on the lifetime network and 90210! Oh well! XY and I put a tree up the first Christmas we were dating, but that was the last. It was a pretty tree too! It had gold balls, white lights and burgundy bows all over. We even had a pretty angel that matched our burgundy and gold theme!! But now the thrill in decorating a tree is gone and I am too lazy to pull everything out to decorate for a month just to put it back in a box in the closet upstairs till next year!! The extent of my decorating inside is 2 stockings hanging from our fireplace and some Christmas hand towels and oven mitts in the kitchen!! Even the potheads next door decorated there house!! Oh well another Christmas with no tree! Do I sound heart broken? I think not!!

P.S.
Christmas is not Christmas for me without watching "A Charlie Brown Christmas" on TV!

The Singles, The Married, & The Outsiders

columbiarants@bellsouth.net (XY) — Thu, 8 Dec 2005 21:10:00 -0500

Okay, since our buddies are blogging on relationships, I feel compelled to do so as well.

The first thing I’d like to straighten out for The Singles (that’s what I’m calling them... The Singles; I’m sure they’ll refer to me and my clan as “The Married) is: once you’re married, the dating ends. Wrong. Once you’re married, the dating begins. Ask The XX. Without question, our best dates came long after we were coupled... and I’d say our best date ever occurred long after our first wedding anniversary! So yeah, I think I’m a dating expert. I consider your single days your *amateur* dates, and once you get married, you move into the pros... more on this later.

The second issue I’d like to address is how most of The Singles think there’s this one magical match on the planet, and they’re just waiting to collide into each other and complete one another like pieces to a jigsaw puzzle. Rubbish. Think about it... there are about 6 billion people roaming this earth. Let’s assume that out of those six billion, two billion are ineligible to become your partner (either too young, too old, or otherwise; and with this I’d like to introduce another category of people... they will be known as The Outsiders; they fall outside of your mating requirements). That leaves four billion for you to shop from. Now let’s assume that everyone has at least one match per billion... that means there’s *at least* four matches for you somewhere on the planet. My gut tells me there are probably even more than that. I use these numbers to illustrate my hypothesis that each earthling has more than one match on this planet... and a percentage of your matches would probably match someone else as well. Having said all this... I’m going to segue to my third point: you’re always in competition for a mate.

If The Singles think for a second (which I think they do) that you’re not in competition to find a mate, you’re severely mistaken. Human Beings aren’t that evolved; we’re still competing for breeding rights just like every other species on the planet. Why do you think men like women with big hips? Why do women like men with broad shoulders? Those basic physical features of attraction should have your question of competition answered. And even after you’ve paired off... you’re still in competition... it’s just that now you’re competing to KEEP your mate.

Once again, I’m leeching material from our pending Pod Cast. The Mac is here (I’m using to post this) and I’ve almost got all the audio needs figured out and in place. As soon as the studio is operational again, we hope to have Virginia Belle on as a special guest to discuss dating.

THE XY!