The Columbus Movie Guy

Checking In: Business, Disappointing Movies and 30 Days of Night

2007-10-13T06:34:49Z

Myself and Crank Director Brian Taylor Drinking it up at Comic Con in July

Hello there! It appears that I haven’t been around here in a while. Since April, to be exact. I would be willing to bet that readers of The Columbus Movie Guy are anxious to hear all about what has been going on. But then again, if you read my work here then you are probably already reading me over at Film School Rejects. Either way, let me give you a little update on what has been going on.

Business is good. What can I say? It is good to be in the online film community these days. Film School Rejects has been reaching record levels of traffic, gaining fans all over the planet and well, starting to make a little cash. I can see the end of my career in retail, it is the light at the end of a long and zombie infested tunnel (I use the zombie reference only because I just watched 28 Weeks Later on DVD).

Here come the Fuzz! (Weekend Update)

2007-10-13T05:06:59Z

Hello Columbus-ites! How was your week? Mine was pretty hectic. Work, work and more work are the themes. As Kristin described on her blog, there were plenty of screenings to keep the members of the Central Ohio Cinemarati very busy. And of course, as always, I missed a few screenings. But thankfully I have my new good friend Josh Martin on board over at Film School Rejects (it is amazing what great writers will do, even when paid only with free movie passes.)

I’m also very glad to say that FSR is growing, faster than a Flintstones’ kid. Fat Guys at the Movies, the podcast that loves boobs, is going really well. Check out Episode 4 with myself, Kevin Carr and our special (caged) guest Brian Gibson. It is sure to get you chuckling. We are also very close to launching “The Vault,” a sister site to FSR that focuses on giving our readers an education in film by reviewing older flicks. That should be fun!

On a more local note, if you missed the opening night of the Deep Focus Film Fest at the Arena Grand last night, then you missed one of the better little romantic comedies of the year (”Waitress”) and you should feel shame. To make up for it, look for my posse and I at the festival this evening, watching Air Guitar Nation at 7 p.m.

Steven Colbert: The Greatest Living American

2007-04-17T05:35:38Z

I’m going to keep this simple. Thanks to this article, I present the following link:

Steven Colbert - Greatest Living American

I have now participated in the ultimate pop culture Google Bomb! Rock on!

Technorati Tags: Steven Colbert, Google, Google Bomb, Link Bait

Podcasts: The New Addiction

2007-04-12T22:03:36Z

Producing, listening to and worshiping podcasts (and videocasts, for the audibly challenged) is what my generation replaced smoking pot with when they got out of college. It makes it so much easier to pass a drug test and score an entry level marketing job that way. I have very recently gotten into the podcasting game, joining fellow critic Kevin Carr on Fat Guys at the Movies. If you dig movies, and fat guys who are funny, then digg us. Alright, enough with the puns, I have compiled for you a cool list of the top 5 podcasts currently gracing my iTunes library. Behold:

1. VeerCast - Tim, Josh and Adam muse about all things pop culture. The are lewd, crude and absolutely hysterical. If you need a good hour of laughs, then head out to the VC!

2. Diggnation - Kevin Rose and Alex Albrecht discuss what is hot on the popular social bookmarking site Digg.com. The show always has something interesting to say. Plus, Kevin Rose shops at Whole Foods. That is two points in my book.

3. HypeCast - My good friend Alex and his friends over at FirstShowing.net wax intellectual every week about the world of film.

4. SModcast - My idol, Kevin Smith and is right hand man Scott Mosier are funny normally, but in Podcast form they are gold. Think about this: An Evening with Kevin Smith, just once per week. How can you pass that up?

5. Ask a Ninja - It is what it says it is… People asking questions to a Ninja. He answers, then kills them. It is entertainment genius!

Those are the essentials, as I see them right now. Do you dig Podcasts? Have favorites? Let me know in the comment area below.

Technorati Tags: Podcast, Entertainment, Comedy, Film

Review of Grindhouse

2007-04-10T02:21:28Z

I know it is a few days late, but here is my review for Grindhouse:

Grindhouse (Grade: B+)
“I have a new theory: every movie should begin with a scene involving a scantily clad Rose McGowan and a stripper pole. That would really take the sting off of films like Norbit.”

Keep an eye out in the next couple of days, I will have reviews of The Reaping and The Hoax.

For more reviews, take a peek at my Review Archive.

Technorati Tags: Grindhouse, Review, Box Office, Tarantino, Rodriguez

Top 10 Caddyshack Quotes

2007-04-09T22:09:35Z

In honor of Zach Johnson’s unlikely win yesterday at the grand daddy of them all, The Masters, I took half the afternoon off of work and watched Caddyshack. It is a film that is quite possibly the single greatest sports comedy of all time. Ted Knight as Judge Smails, Chevy Chase as the incomparable Zen golfer Ty Webb and of course, Bill Murray as pro looper turned assistant green’s keeper Carl Spackler. For my money, there are very few movies out there with as many solid one liners. In honor of that, I have hand picked my ten favorite lines from the film. Hopefully you agree…

10. Al Czervik (Rodney Dangerfield): Hey, doll. Could you scare up another round for our table over here? And tell the cook this is low grade dog food. I’ve had better food at the ballgame, you know? This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it.

9. Judge Smails: Spalding get your foot off the boat!

8. Judge Smails: Wrong, you’re drinking too much your Excellency.
Bishop: Excellency, fiddlesticks, my name’s Fred and I’m a man, same as you.
Judge Smails: You’re not a man, you’re a bishop, for God’s sakes.
Bishop: There is no God…

7. Mrs. Smails: Elihu, will you come loofah my stretch marks?

6. Al Czervik: [to his Asian companion] I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don’t tell ‘em you’re Jewish, okay?

5. Judge Smails: It’s easy to grin / When your ship comes in / And you’ve got the stock market beat. / But the man worthwhile, / Is the man who can smile, / When his shorts are too tight in the seat.

4. Lacey Underall: My uncle says you’ve got a screw loose.
Ty Webb: Your uncle molests collies.

3. Ty Webb: Let me tell you a little story? I once knew a guy who could have been a great golfer, could have gone pro, all he needed was a little time and practice. Decided to go to college instead. Went for four years, did pretty well. At the end of his four years, his last semester he was kicked out… You know what for? He was night putting, just putting at night with the fifteen-year-old daughter of the Dean… You know who that guy was Danny?
Danny Noonan: No.
Ty Webb: Take one good guess.
Danny Noonan: Bob Hope?
Ty Webb: Ha ha… No, that guy was Mitch Comstein, my roommate. He was a good guy.

2. Judge Smails: Ty, what did you shoot today?
Ty Webb: Oh, Judge, I don’t keep score.
Judge Smails: Then how do you measure yourself with other golfers?
Ty Webb: By height.

1. Carl Spackler: So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.” And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.” So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.

A simple homage to a classic and a little bit of fun for your Monday evening. For more great Caddyshack quotes, check this page out.

Technorati Tags: Golf, Masters, Caddyshack, Quotes, Movies

Geeking Out and Speed Linking

2007-04-09T03:21:49Z

If you are an avid reader of the site (which I hope you are), then you may have noticed that I have been a lame host of late. I have not been posting with great frequency and I have been spending all of my time over at Film School Rejects making sure that everything goes smoothly. Let’s just say that sometimes I have to prioritize a bit, and you always have to go with the jobs that pay the bills.

But I have been held hostage by another distraction over the last few days, a distraction that will ultimately make my life more productive, resulting in less of these blog lapses. Pictured above is my lovely new workstation, a glorious 20″ iMac with an Intel Duo Core processor, 2 GB of RAM and all sorts of built in gadgetry. It is beyond sweet, it is a godsend among machines. I am just now getting everything set up, so I am ready to get back up to speed. So look out world, my Mac and I are on the prowl and we are seeking blogosphere domination!

On top of all that, I have been enjoying some other great diversions, some of which I will share with you below:

VeerCast - A Very funny pop culture Podcast, a must see!
FirstShowing.net - Alex B. runs a tight ship over at First Showing. If I didn’t love FSR so much, it would be my hands-down favorite movie blog ever.
Fat Guys at the Movies on digg - Shamelessly plugging one’s self is never wrong. If you use digg.com, please click over and help us out.
AskAmber.com - Amber answers questions… She is pretty sharp. I should do a “Ask The Movie Guy” feature… What do you think?

That’s all I have for you today, Columbus. Check back in this week for more reviews, some (timely) updates and an impending preview of this year’s Columbus Alive! Deep Focus Film Festival!

Technorati Tags: Movies, Apple, iMac, Intel, Mac Lover, Podcast, Blog, Ask Amber

Columbus Alive Deep Focus Film Fest Announces Schedule for ‘07

2007-04-05T15:55:55Z

Just like last year, on April 19^th the city of Columbus will be in Deep Focus. Earlier this week Melissa Starker, the Assistant Editor of Columbus Alive!, announced this year’s film line-up.

At last year’s festival we discovered Brick, which turned out to be one of my personal favorite films of the year. This year, we get a full slate of great films to wet your palette. Here is the full schedule with some event info to boot:

Opening Night Gala: “Waitress”

From the late actress-turned-director Adrienne Shelley comes a funny, charming fable about a small-town waitress (Keri Russell) whose joys and frustrations come out through her amazing pie-making abilities. Ohio premiere. Screening Thursday, April 19, at 7 p.m. Join us after the film for a gala party at TBD Tavern.

“After the Wedding”

The Brothers creative team of Susanne Bier and Anders Thomas Jensen return to the Deep Focus Film Fest with this Danish, Oscar-nominated drama, in which Mads Mikkelsen (the heavy in Casino Royale) portrays an orphanage worker in India forced to return home and face his difficult past. Columbus premiere. Screening Saturday, April 21, at 5:45 p.m.

“Air Guitar Nation”

Words can’t describe the singularly thrilling experience of Alexandra Lipsitz’s hilarious yet respectful documentary, following the first American contestants to compete in the World Air Guitar Championship in Finland. Screening Friday, April 20, at 7 p.m. and Sunday, April 22, at 6 p.m. Join us after the Friday show at the Lodge Bar, when local air guitarists will face off to win an actual guitar.

“Broken English”

Zoe Cassavetes makes her filmmaker debut with this romantic comedy in which Parker Posey’s thirtysomething New Yorker starts reevaluating her romantic expectations, right about the same time a possible Mr. Right appears. Ohio premiere. Screening Saturday, April 21, at 7:30 p.m. and Sunday, April 22, at 3:15 p.m.

“Dare Not Walk Alone”

Jeremy Dean uses amazing, never-before-seen archival footage of racial clashes in St. Augustine, Florida, America’s oldest city, to spotlight the role the town played in the passage of the Civil Rights Act and take a hard look at the legacy left behind. Ohio premiere. Screening Friday, April 20, at 8 p.m. and Sunday, April 22, at 5:30 p.m.

“Family Law”

From Argentine filmmaker Daniel Burman comes a lighthearted look at a successful man who finds that with the responsibilities of new parenthood comes a need to grow up and develop more respect for his own father. Columbus premiere. Screening Saturday, April 21, at 8:30 p.m. Join our sister publication Fronteras after the film for a Latino dance party at Sugar Bar.

“Fido”

The Matrix’s Carrie-Ann Moss and Billy Connolly star in this terrific, retro zombie comedy about keeping up with the Joneses when most of the planet has been taken over by the undead. Screening Saturday, April 21, at 10:15 p.m.

“Maxed Out”

The subject of a recent Nightline segment, James Scurlock’s documentary examines America’s ever-increasing debt, the predatory practices of credit companies and the personal fallout. Columbus premiere. Screening Friday, April 20, at 9 p.m. and Sunday, April 22, at 5:45 p.m.

“Paprika”

Satoshi Kon’s eye-popping anime feature centers on a device built to enter another person’s dreams, but which ultimately has the power to punch holes in the fabric separating dreams from waking life. Screening Saturday, April 21, at 8 p.m.

Closing Night Selection: “The Hip-Hop Project”

Executive produced by Bruce Willis and Queen Latifah, this inspiring documentary captures a New York City program that channels teens’ true-life experiences into powerful hip-hop wordsmithing. Columbus premiere. Screening Sunday, April 22, at 7:30 p.m.

“World’s Best Commercials”

This crowd-pleasing program presents award-winning ads from the Cannes International Ad Festival. Screening Saturday, April 21, at 6 p.m. and Sunday, April 22, at 4 p.m.

Also being featured at the Fest is three days of Modern Classics, favorite films that are celebrating Anniversaries. Friday will showcase “Moonstruck”, starring Cher and Nicholas Cage as well as “Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion”. Saturday will feature Steven Spielberg’s “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” and two more films to be named later. And finally on Sunday, the readers of Columbus Alive chose “Remember the Titans “for the Sports Film Spotlight.

So as you can see, it is quite a menu, full of assortment and delicacies from all over. Personally, I am most excited about “Air Guitar Nation,” but there is definitely something for everyone.

Tickets have been on sale since March 29 at the Arena Grand Box Office and are available at arenagrand.com. For updates, trailers and more, take a look at DeepFocusFilmFest.com. I will have full coverage of the festival right here at The Columbus Movie Guy as well…

Reviews for March 30, 2007

2007-03-30T06:50:19Z

I just wanted to post a quick rundown of my reviews for this weekend. Click on the movie titles to see the reviews at Film School Rejects:

Blades of Glory (Grade: A)
“…one hilarious ride through the incredibly uncomfortable world of man on man figure skating. If you are a Will Ferrell fan, then this is an easy choice.”

Meet the Robinsons (Grade: B+)
“…while the acquisition of Pixar has certainly rubbed off on Disney, there is still some of that old Disney flair for those of us who remember films like The Lion King and The Little Mermaid.”

The Lookout (Grade: B-)
“Joseph Gordon-Levitt continues his trend of breaking away from being that kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun moving towards being a serious dramatic presence on the silver screen.”

Have fun at the movies this weekend!

New Pirates 3 Trailer is here!

2007-03-20T06:31:35Z

I was about to go to bed, but I was kindly reminded by our friends over at Cinematical that 2 a.m. was the launch time of the new trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. So just for you, my faithful late night readers (and guest from around the globe), I will not let this one go until the morning.

You can see the trailer in either High Definition at Yahoo or in regular definition on Disney.com. The trailer itself will set a high bar for the film, which releases on March 25, as it looks great. If you haven’t heard, this one continues the story from Dead Man’s Chest, whereas Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) travel to the end of the world to rescue Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) from Davy Jones’ locker. Ah, my description doesn’t do it justice. Just go and check out the trailer. You can come back and thank me later.

Technorati Tags: Pirates of the Caribbean, Jack Sparrow, Disney, At Worlds End, Trailer, World Premiere

The 300 Controversy: Fact v. Fiction

2007-03-20T05:26:16Z

Everyone with a blog and a dream thinks they are a pundit these days. Political pundits are paraded about on CNN and Fox News daily to rant and rave about one side or the other. Film critics, myself included, are pundits in their own right. They only difference is that way play within the politics of Hollywood, a world that is arguably less detrimental to society and often less serious. I mean, who can say that talking about an exit strategy for Iraq is anything comparable to Katie Holmes’ exit strategy, also known as marriage to Tom Cruise. We get to talk about the disturbing, depraved world of celebrity and the schlock that gets put in front of moviegoers everywhere. Real pundits, well, they talk about more important things — or so I’m told.

Another thing that real pundits get more of than the pundits of the silver screen is hate mail. Despite the fact that readers will get very angry when I torch the latest Sandra Bullock movie because I “just don’t get it”, the amount of hate mail I get cannot compare to that of say, Rush Limbaugh — and deservedly so.

But there are those issues that cross over, uniting the world of film with the world of politics and bringing more angry people into the mix. Lets take, for example, an article that I wrote about two weeks ago, titled “The Anti-300 Debate?” It referred to a petition that was put forth by an Iranian doctor who said that the recently released film 300 was both historically inaccurate and “fraudulent and distorted, and its broadcast guarantees the violation of undeniable international legal rights.” My rebuttal, as a member of the film community, was simply that it is “just a movie,” a spectacle created for the mindless enjoyment of college kids everywhere who revel in simple themes like insurmountable odds, gratuitous female nudity and comically gory action. I couldn’t understand how someone, anyone, could be so offended by a simple film. But I had obviously spoke too soon, as I seemed to have awakened a segment of my readership that I did not know that I had.

In just 12 days the article had received over 110 comments, something of a small wonder considering this is my personal blog, a site that attracts less than 1,000 visitors per day. It became apparent then, and even more so when I read an article in Newsweek by Evan Thomas, that this was a broad and heated political issue. I realized that there must be a better way to explain my side of this issue without resorting to the fact that film is film, it is a work of art completely in the hands of the filmmaker and it has no responsibility to be historically accurate. That would obviously not do anything to calm the storm around this issue. I devised a list of statements made about this issue, both from comments on my site and themes from various news sources, in an attempt to find out what is fact, what is fiction and what has been left on the table. So without trying to sell myself as a pundit who knows anything about politics, I humbly present my take on the controversy around 300, a bit of Fact v. Fiction:

300 displays the Persians as a brutal, heinous people who would enslave all of Sparta to expand their Empire.

Fact. There is nothing false here, the Persians are the bad guys. There are ogres, giants with saws for arms and a God-King that dresses like Elizabeth Taylor and stands 8 ft. tall. Rarely have we seen a more comic exaggeration of an evil army. But from my perspective, you have to look at it all in context. The story itself is being told through the eyes (or eye, due to the fact that he only has one) of the Spartan Dilios, played by David Wenham. It is apparent at the outset of the film that he is telling this fantastic tale to a group of young soldiers, most likely to ready them for battle, a common practice among military leaders. Therefore if you are paying enough attention to the story you can easily see that this is not exactly how things went, but rather the hyperbolic ramblings of a leader trying to rally his troops.

This film is historically accurate.

Fiction. The film itself is by no means historically accurate. There was a Battle of Thermopylae, there did exist a King Leonidas and a Xerxes the Great, but I assure you it didn’t go down in the same manner that has been put onto film by Director Zach Snyder. In fact, the film is nearly a frame-by-frame reflection of the graphic novel written by Frank Miller, which was based on how Frank himself saw the battle happen in his own mind after viewing a film (The 300 Spartans) in 1962 which is based on the actual battle. The overall story is true, but the specifics, as you would expect in this long winded game of telephone, have been modified a bit.

Author Frank Miller’s politics lean to the right.

Fact. It is no secret to fans of Frank Miller that he sports some “post-911 conservatism.” As Evan Thomas pointed out, he is working on a new graphic novel that pits Batman against Al Qaeda. There are also several cultural themes within the film, including “Freedom is not free” and the fact that Leonidas goes against the will of both the law and the Spartan council in going to war. For a lesser educated America, these look like political statements ripped right out of our own headlines, when in reality they were themes that existed way back then as well — unfortunately for us, they are still around. So I can see where there would be concern that some of the American audience would be lead to believe that there are parallels between Leonidas and President Bush, between the Persians and terrorists and between the ephors (the grotesque Spartan elders) and Vice President Cheney… Actually, I made that last one up just to keep things light. Moving on…

The U.S. Government secretly funded this film in order to further their anti-Iranian agenda.

Fiction. Someone really did say this to me in one of the afore mentioned articles of hate mail. This is one of those things that would be hard to believe, even if proven to be true. When talking about the U.S. Government and the majority of Hollywood we are talking about two polar ends of the political spectrum. Also, the film was produced by Warner Brothers, a seedling of AOL Time Warner, which is a company who isn’t necessarily in the President’s bedroom closet (as far as I am aware). If we were talking about a movie put out by 20th Century Fox, owned by News Corp., then we’d have a completely different story on our hands.

Historically Persians were a civilized and innovative people.

Fact. Based on both previous knowledge and research that I have done based on this debate, I can honestly say that the Persian culture has contributed a great amount to modern day religion, human rights, education and medicine. Cyrus II the Great was credited with the first documented universal declaration of human rights. Persians were the first to systematically use alcohol in medicine. Zoroastrianism, a religion that came from Persian culture, had a great impact on Judaism, which in turn had great influence on both Christianity and Islam. Also, As far as the film 300 goes, the Persians weren’t depicted all that poorly. Yes, there were the weird ogres and beasts, but in comparison to some of the things that were depicted about the Spartans (i.e. the fact that they threw away weak babies), they were not that uncivilized.

People are making this out to be an unnecessarily larger issue than it should be.

Fact. This is the overwhelming truth of the entire argument, but you already knew that. It is sad that in this period of humanity, a time when we would consider ourselves to be more intellectually advanced than the civilizations of 480 BC, that we would see a work of cinematic art such as this be used to further political agendas on both sides.

An Iranian newspaper published this headline: HOLLYWOOD DECLARES WAR ON IRANIANS. I mean, come on people. Do I possess such a higher sense of logic that I can see that this movie was not intentionally created to ignite more tension between the United States and Iran? I will agree that this film doesn’t help our two cultures understand each other, and it may even create undue prejudices for ignorant and uninformed moviegoers, but we cannot say that this is all a great conspiracy. In the grand scheme of things, if influential pop culture figures like Zach Snyder, Frank Miller and Warner Brothers CEO Alan Horn are going to be leading us into yet another unnecessary and unsubstantiated conflict in the Middle East, then what purpose does the current administration serve? My only hope is that President Bush doesn’t see this flick until he is well out of office, because if it is the propaganda that people say it is, then he is the target demographic, and needless to say we would all be in a lot of trouble.

It’s hard out here for a pimp…

2007-03-17T02:29:05Z

Too often people talk about film critics as being pampered, over-privileged and just in it for all of the free movies, limo rides and celebrity meet and greets. What they don’t always remember is that not only do we get to see the good movies before the general public, we are also forced to endure the most atrocious films in order to protect that same public from bad cinema — that is, if they are even listening.

This week was one of the weeks where we become the guardians (and no, that doesn’t mean that we star in a movie about rescue divers with Ashton Kutcher and Kevin Costner). With 8 screenings on the bill, very few of which looked appetizing, our seemingly infinite collective patience and will were put to the test. Thankfully, I was forced to miss the first three screenings of the week due to having a real job. But as Kristin explained so eloquently on her blog, I wasn’t missing much.

I began my week of film criticism on Tuesday night after a quick trip to Cleveland to visit my stylist (aka Mom) who helped me pull together something to wear for Good Day Columbus later in the week. My first flick was the Sandra Bullock thriller Premonition, a poorly executed film that left my eyes burning and my notepad blank. I normally take copious amounts of notes during films that I don’t particularly like, but I found no reason to do so during Premonition. It may have been the fact that the film was so stale, or maybe it was the fact that I dropped my pen on the floor under my seat about 20 minutes in, but there really wasn’t much to say. I didn’t realize how little I had to say about it, in fact, until I went to write the review. After the film, I took in a drink with Kevin in order to talk about our upcoming online radio show. We are looking at the first week of April for Episode #1, so I will keep you posted.

On Wednesday, I snuck out of work a few minutes early to ensure that I could make it downtown in time to see I Think I Love My Wife. Outside the theater, I was greeted by a long, boisterous line of people waiting to get in. Inside the theater, safe from the throngs of lucky promo pass recipients, I met Mark and Kristin in the balcony. They oozed fatigue as we cautiously awaited the seats to fill around us and the film to begin. It all went as expected, with laughs coming every few minutes and the crowd around us doing everything within their power to remind us that they were there too. In fact, one gentlemen behind me forgot to turn down the ringer on his cell phone, which sounded more like a shrieking dinosaur from Jurassic Park than an actual ring tone. What ever happened to Lil’ John reminding you that your girlfriend is calling with a little bit of Lovers & Friends?

Thursday was the longest day for me, but the most productive. No real job, just movie guy stuff all day. Good Day Columbus was a blast in the morning. I got to sit down with Kent Justice, who not only has the coolest name in daytime news since Ron Burgandy, but he is also a nice guy. If you remember my first TV appearance, you may have noticed that I was very jittery, uncomfortably out of place. This week I was much more relaxed, calm and ultimately I felt it went well. If you caught it (during the 8 o’clock hour on Fox 28), please let me know what you thought. I’m a sucker for hate mail. But don’t worry, I’ve already been told that I have a face for radio, so you are going to have to think of something a bit more creative than that. Thursday also included two screenings, The Host and Shooter, both which were surprisingly good. But you’ll have to wait until next week to get the complete scoop, I wouldn’t want to be a spoiler.

In the end, while I am absolutely drained (though not as drained as the other critics who had to endure a few real turds), all I can think to do is sit around the house and spy my unopened copy of Casino Royale sitting on my desk. I guess in the end, no matter how tiring being a critic can be, I will always have room for more.

The TMNT Bonanza! Register Now to Win Cool Prizes!

2007-03-16T10:02:10Z

Are you excited about the March 23 release of the new TMNT flick?! I certainly am! Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello and Raphael have returned to team up with their friends April O’Neal (voiced by Sarah Michelle Gellar) and Casey Jones (voiced by Chris Evans) to protect New York from an army of monsters created by tech-industrialist Maximillian Winters (voiced by Patrick Stewart).

To show off my excitement, I have scored some wicked cool prizes to help you gear up for this exciting release that is sure to be filled with amazing visuals, exciting action and a good amount of humor! COWABUNGA!

Check out our prizes below:

	TMNT Manhole Men’s Black Tees (Quantity: 5) Show off your style with this cool T-Shirt!
	TMNT Cowabunga! Women’s Black Tee (Quantity: 5) Even the fangirls can get into the action with this sheik, stylish tee!
	TMNT Pencils (Quantity: 10) Finish out the school year in style with these cool pencils garnering the film’s logo!
	TMNT Tattoos (Quantity: 10) Don’t worry mom and dad, these tattoos are as temporary as they are kickin’.
	Movie Poster T-Shirt from GIANT (Quantity: 1) Adult soft cotton tee featuring the official movie poster artwork courtesy of GIANT. SRV $20.99
	TMNT PC Video Game (Quantity: 1) Play the famous TMNT characters in their all-new video game from Ubisoft. Available on all major video game systems. For more info go to www.tmntgame.com. SRV: $29.99
	Nightwatcher Stunt Rider and TMNT Action Figure from Playmates (Quantity: 1 Set) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figures based on the characters seen in the all new CGI animated film from Imagi Studios and Warner Brothers. Each figure will is fully articulated, meticulously detailed and stands about 5″-7″ tall. All figures come with authentic accessories just like the ones from the movie. Look for Turtle Movie toys from Playmates at major retailers.
TMNT Character Hats and Character Kids Tees - Michelangelo, Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael (Quantity: 1 Full Set)

How do I sign up?

Just email the following information to contests@filmschoolrejects.com with “TMNT — Contest Entry” in the Subject Line:

Your Name
Your Mailing Address (Street, City, State, Zip)
Your Birthdate
Your Email Address

Also, those who subscribe to the Columbus Movie Guy’s Daily Updates are automatically entered! Just fill in the form below and be automatically entered in this and any future contests, courtesy of The Columbus Movie Guy!

Sweepstakes Dates:

March 12, 2007 to March 26, 2007

Is there any fine print?

Of course there is, but just a little bit. This contest is open to legal residents of the US, Canada and the UK. One entry per email address, please. Winners will be contacted after the close of the contest and their winnings will be distributed shortly afterward. This contest is presented by Film School Rejects in partnership with both The Columbus Movie Guy and Blog Critics.com.

For information about the Film School Rejects Privacy Policy, please click here.

For more information about the upcoming release of TMNT, please follow the links below:

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions please email contests[at]filmschoolrejects.com.

Weekend Update: Time to see 300 again!

2007-03-16T05:55:15Z

What a rough week it has been for critics here in Columbus. I count myself as one of the lucky ones, as I missed the first 3 of the 8 screening that were scheduled between Monday and Thursday. Apparently I wasn’t missing much. Of the movies I did see this week, the majority were utterly terrible. It has gotten so bad that I am actually looking forward to seeing Pride, the inspirational swimming movie starring Terrance Howard and Bernie Mac which releases next week. But alas, it is time to put my own disappointment aside — because as a movie critic, my job is to take the good with the bad and sit through every single release that Hollywood can throw together in a given calendar year. With that, I give you this weekend’s lineup:

Pick of the Week

300
Running Time: 117 min. Rated R for graphic battle sequences throughout, some sexuality and nudity.
I know what you are thinking — “There is no way that you can pick 300 as your pick of the week again!” Yes, in fact, I can and I just did. Oddly enough, this is really less about the fact that I absolutely loved 300 and more about the fact that every new release this week is a turd. I did see some good flicks during the course of the week, but they don’t come out until next week. So with that in mind, if you are headed to the local cinema, consider seeing 300 again, as it is still your best option.
Read my entire review
Grade: | Trailer

Also Out this Week

Premonition
Running Time: 110 min. Rated PG-13 for some violent content, disturbing images, thematic material and brief language.
Sandra Bullock stars as a housewife who finds out that her husband has been killed in a terrible car crash, only to wake up the next day and find out that it hasn’t happened yet. It’s a story with a lot of promise, but the movie turns out to be severely under executed. Chick flick loving Sandy Bullock fans will be deeply disappointed in the films lack of warmth and suspense junkies will be turned off by the fact that the film makes almost no sense in the end. If you were planning on seeing this one, don’t let me stop you — just don’t say that I didn’t warn you.
Read my entire review
Grade: | Trailer

I Think I Love My Wife
Running Time: 90 min. Rated R for pervasive language and some sexual content.
This is not the first time that Chris Rock has written, directed and starred in a film, but it is certainly in the running as the worst film he has ever written, directed and starred in. Rock plays a married man who is bored with his life and considers making some changes in his sex life — namely, he would be having sex, just not with his wife. Kerry Washington does manage to bring some heat to the screen and Chris Rock gets a few laughs, but in the end this film plays out like a campy sitcom — just with a few more race jokes.
Read my entire review
Grade: | Trailer

Dead Silence
Running Time: 90 min. Rated R for horror violence and images.
When a film doesn’t get screened for critics it is not a good sign. When a horror film doesn’t get screened for critics, as is the case with this particular flick, it is even worse. Let me put it to you this way, they wouldn’t dare screen The Hills Have Eyes 2 because they know what we would do to it. And they say critics don’t influence box office performance. Ha! In this case a lack of press, whether good or bad, is the best prescription. Oh and as for what the film is all about — a bunch of Vaudeville puppets kill people and cut out their tongues. Sounds delicious!
Trailer

So there you have it, plenty of “choices” that will have you either repeating last week’s routine or settling onto your couch to watch Casino Royale on DVD. When it comes to the new movies this weekend, I always like to say that it can’t hurt to try something new — just don’t say that I didn’t warn you.

Review: I Think I Love My Wife

2007-03-16T05:17:34Z

Chris Rock thinks he loves his wife. To top that, he also has the delusion that he has what it takes to make his fans love him for more than just being a comedian. He is under the impression that he is also a good writer and director – a thought that has him headed for disaster.

That potential disaster is a little film called I Think I Love My Wife, which coincidentally was written, directed and stars the iconic comedian as a bored married man who is no longer intimately acquainted with his wife and it is starting to get to him. Rock plays Richard Cooper, a successful financial broker with a wife (Gina Torres), two lovely children and all the problems that every married man is faced with – a monotonous routine and worst of all, no sex. The no sex part is something that Richard was learning to deal with, that is until the day that Nikki (Kerry Washington) popped into his life.

The old flame of a close friend, Nikki comes to Richard with the need for a job reference and the penchant for being a home wrecker. She is outgoing, uninhibited and sexy from head to toe. And on top of that she begins to show some interest in Richard, something that is the ultimate fantasy of any bored married man. Nikki’s only problem is that she is a bit over-the-top with her desire for Richard, to the point where you begin to remember that she is a fictional character – because we all know that in real life, hot young women are just not that into stale husband-types.

This over-the-top characterization, in conjunction with Chris Rock’s exceedingly energetic brand of comedy creates a movie that plays out more like campy sitcom than a silver screen comedy. That makes sense seeing as the two guys who wrote it, Chris Rock and Louis C.K. are both knee deep in their own popular television sitcoms. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, the film goes through a bit of an identity crisis. It is easy to see that the minds behind this film wanted to make a more serious satire about the woes of marriage and the temptations of fate. But instead they get scared that maybe their audience won’t buy that, causing them to reach for laughs instead of writing an intelligent flick.

The film does get some laughs however, thanks to its leading man Chris Rock’s natural ability to be funny no matter what the situation. Steve Buscemi also lends a hand in the comedy department as Richard’s philandering business partner. Sadly though, a few laughs here and there aren’t enough to make this a good choice on any level. Chris Rock is funny, yes. And I will buy every comedy CD he ever puts out. But thanks to I Think I Love My Wife, the next time I see his name next to the words “Written and Directed by”, I may just look for something else.

Final Grade:

I Think I Love My Wife is in theaters March 16, has a running time of 90 minutes and is Rated R for pervasive language and some sexual content.

Review: Premonition

2007-03-16T05:01:18Z

In Premonition, Sandra Bullock plays an apathetic housewife whose world is turned upside down when she finds out that her husband has been killed in a terrible car accident. To make matters worse, she wakes up the next day to find out that the accident has not yet happened, that it was only a premonition. After seeing this film I believe that I too have had a premonition. What did I see in the future? I saw that this film will draw in a decent audience this weekend at the box office, then proceed to disappoint it.

Why is such a good turnout expected? Simply because there are plenty of ladies out there who are either tired of seeing nothing but family comedies (a la Wild Hogs) and blatant guy movies (300) filling their local Cineplex. And when they see that Sandra Bullock is starring, they immediately associate that with a sappy romantic storyline. Sadly they are in for a rude awakening when they discover that the closest this film gets to romance is the near rekindling of flames lost through years of stale married life between Bullock’s Linda and her soon to be dead husband Jim (played by Nip/Tuck’s Julian McMahon).

Now the lack of romanticism in this flick is not quite enough to steer audiences away, as it is being marketed as a psychological thriller about being able to see into the future and make moral decisions based on those future events. The only problem there is the fact that in order to successful execute a decent thriller, you must be able to lead your audience down a path, surprise them and then at least explain what the heck is going on by the time the credits roll. This is where Premonition fails miserably, with an ending that is not even worth spoiling because it is so bad. It is one of those movies that, when the credits do finally arrive, you are forced to look at the screen and say “Huh?”

And it is not bad enough that the ending had to make absolutely no sense, the entire rest of the movie has to follow suit. The story takes place over the course of a week (Sunday to Saturday), but the days are lived out of order by Linda. One day she wakes up and it is Thursday, the next day she wakes up and it is Monday. This is not altogether an uncommon way to tell a story – in fact it is quite a unique premise with the potential to be very interesting if done well. The only thing that can go wrong is that if you are not consistent then your story falls apart. In the case of Premonition, if you take all of the days and separate them, then put them in the right order they would make absolutely no sense. Certain plot points never quite connect from one scene to the next, causing us to become detached from the story and annoyed with its inconsistencies – and that just doesn’t make for a fulfilling night at the movies.

In the end there really isn’t a way for me to stop people from seeing this flick no matter how certain I am that they will be disappointed. It is a simple suspense flick absolutely devoid of a payoff – unless you consider utter confusion and a stale taste in your mouth to be a good payoff for a Sandra Bullock movie.

Final Grade:

Premonition is in theaters on March 16, has a running time of 110 minutes and is Rated PG-13 for some violent content, disturbing images, thematic material and brief language.

Trailers: Premonition, Shooter, I Think I Love My Wife, Dead Silence

2007-03-15T21:38:38Z

Thursday is for trailers — and that whole “which movie is going to be good” guessing game. I am one of those who are blessed with being a critic (the website is a dead giveaway), so I pretty much know which films are going to delight the masses and which ones are going to flop. I should, I’ve seen them. That is why you come back every Friday to read my reviews. And of course, if you were watching Good Day Columbus this morning, you would have gotten a quickie version of my reviews. I stopped by and chatted for a few moments with Kent Justice, who has the coolest name in local news. But don’t worry, if you missed me on TV all is not lost. Below you will find some trailers to hold you over until tomorrow:

Premonition

Starring: Sandra Bullock, Julian McMahon
The Plot: A housewife is shocked when her husband dies in a car crash and reappears the next day. She realizes it was a premonition and tries to avoid the tragedy.
Click here to watch the Trailer

Shooter

Starring: Mark Whalberg, Kate Mara, Danny Glover
The Plot: A marksman (Wahlberg) living in exile is coaxed back into action after learning of a plot to kill the president. Ultimately double-crossed and framed for the attempt, he goes on the run to track the real killer and find out who exactly set him up, and why.
Click here to watch the Trailer

I Think I Love My Wife

Starring: Chris Rock, Steve Buscemi, Kerry Washington
The Plot: A married man who daydreams about being with other women finds his will and morals tested after he’s visited by the ex-mistress of his old friend.
Click here to watch the Trailer

Dead Silence

Starring: Ryan Kwanten, Amber Valletta, Donnie Wahlberg
The Plot: There is an old ghost story in the sleepy town of Ravens Fair about Mary Shaw, a ventriloquist who went mad. Accused of the murder of a young boy, she was hunted down by vengeful townspeople who cut out her tongue and killed her. They buried her along with her “children,” a hand-made collection of vaudeville dolls. Since that time, Ravens Fair has been plagued by death. The ghastly dolls from Mary Shaw’s collection have gone missing from the grave and reappeared over the decades. In the dead of night-wherever they are glimpsed-families are found gruesomely murdered…with their tongues torn out.
Click here to watch the Trailer

‘300′ gets a Spartan push to a $70 mil. Opening Weekend

2007-03-11T18:44:27Z

No, the “official” box office numbers are not in — it is still only Sunday afternoon. But thanks to Brandon Gray and the crack staff at Box Office Mojo, we do have some estimates. Those estimates, which are generally pretty accurate, show Zack Snyder’s epic 300 raking in $70 million dollars, a total that would make it the biggest March opening in history. Here are the estimates for the top 5:

Rank. Movie Title (Distributor)
Weekend Gross | Theaters | Total Gross | Week #

1. 300 (Warner Bros.)
$70.0 million | 3,103 | $70.0 million | 1

2. Wild Hogs (Buena Vista)
$28.0 million | 3,296 | $77.4 million | 2

3. Bridge to Terabithia (Buena Vista)
$6.9 million | 3,210 | $67.0 million | 4

4. Ghost Rider (Sony / Columbia)
$6.8 million | 3,347 | $104.1 million | 4

5. Zodiac (Paramount)
$6.8 million | 2,379 | $23.7 million | 2

Wild Hogs held onto the non-R rated lead, keeping the populous of non-fanboys and action lovers happy, while every other flick dropped below the $10 million mark. Now, these estimates may come as a small surprise seeing as Warner Brothers and many others initially placed 300’s opening in the $40-$50 million mark, but after a $27 million dollar Friday, $70 mil. wasn’t too far out of reach. Of course, we will anxiously await the final numbers that will be released tomorrow, but at this point 300’s success is one for the record books.

Weekend Update: 300 Marches alone

2007-03-09T15:56:31Z

March is traditionally not a month for big releases. The biggest opening weekend ever in the month of March was Ice Age: The Meltdown in 2006, earning over $68 million dollars in the final weekend of the month. That might as well have been an April release, though. Hell, even Wild Hogs made it as the #3 biggest March release all time when it roped in $39 million last weekend. What does that say about the month of March? Not a whole lot.

So it makes me curious that, for some reason, the heads of Hollywood decided that 2007 would be blessed with a bigger and better slew of March releases. We have already seen a few, including the afore mentioned Wild Hogs, the upcoming Adam Sandler dramedy Reign Over Me, the Mark Whalberg actioner Shooter, torture porn opus The Hills Have Eyes 2, and even the epic Will Ferrell figure skating comedy Blades of Glory. All in all, March looks to be a decent month with these films alone, but none of these films stand a chance against what will be March’s crowning achievement, the ultraviolent, highly stylized epic from Director Zach Snyder, 300. So which of these other March releases was chosen to match wits with 300 Spartans and their bloody saga? None of them. 300 gets the free pass this weekend, with 0 competition and all the hype in the world. Prepare for total box office annihilation.

Pick of the Week

300
Running Time: 117 min. Rated R for graphic battle sequences throughout, some sexuality and nudity.
Despite a lack of competition with no other wide releases, 300 would have been my pick no matter what else was coming out. George Lucas could have released the next Indiana Jones installment, Michael Bay could have brought Transformers and Steven Spielberg could have brought anything and 300 would take the “Pick of the Week”, hands down. Director Zack Snyder has revolutionized the sword-and-sandals epic by taking Frank Miller’s visionary graphic novel and transposing it into the most violent and intensely entertaining cinematic experience of 2007!
Read my entire review
Grade: | Trailer

Also out this week

The Ultimate Gift [800 Theaters]
Running Time: 114 min. Rated PG for thematic elements, some violence and language.
Newly founded production outlet Fox Faith brings the morality to this weekend with an adaptation of Jim Stovall’s book of the same title. Drew Fuller (Close Call) plays a privileged man who is forced to rethink his life after the death of his grandfather. Abigail Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine) also stars as a little girl stricken with cancer. A timely release, which may cash in on Breslin’s Oscar buzz, will also catch the more Puritan movie-goers who are not interested in the savage intensity of 300 — but only in select cities.

Watch the Trailer

Opening in Columbus

Miss Potter [Opening at the Drexel East]
Running Time: 92 min. Rated PG brief mild language.
Renee Zellweger and Ewan McGregor reunite for the first time on-screen since the over-the-top romcom Down with Love. Miss Potter is being billed as an enchanting look at the life and times of Beatrix Potter (Zellweger), the acclaimed British author of “The Tale of Peter Rabbit”. McGregor plays her editor and love interest as she works on the first of many stories that would ultimately make her one of the world’s most famous children’s author. This one has gotten some critical acclaim, which may be enough to make it worth a look on a lazy Saturday afternoon. Click here for showtimes.

Watch the Trailer

The Lives of Others [Opening at the Drexel Gateway]
Running Time: 137 min. Rated R for some sexuality/nudity.
Florian Henckel con Donnersmarck’s Oscar winning film is finally showing here in the Capital City. The Lives of Others, which snuck in and stole the Best Foreign Film Oscar from Pan’s Labyrinth, focuses on the horrifying, sometimes unintentionally funny system of observation in the former East Germany. The Buzz on this one is that it is a fascinating, well told drama that plays on the politically charged topic of a government watching its people a bit too closely. To the film’s credit, I am yet to read a negative review and well, it did win an Oscar. It may be worth a look. Click here for showtimes.

Watch the Trailer

So there you have it — one huge Spartan epic and a few smaller local releases to keep you busy. What this second weekend of March lacks in choices, it certainly makes up with quality flicks for a variety of audiences. My recommendation is that you shouldn’t miss 300 and you should use caution with the other releases. As always, which movies you see is up to you, but don’t say I didn’t warn you…

Technorati Tags: New Releases, Mo vies, Box Office, 300, Epic

The Columbus Movie Guy

Checking In: Business, Disappointing Movies and 30 Days of Night

Here come the Fuzz! (Weekend Update)

Steven Colbert: The Greatest Living American

Podcasts: The New Addiction

Review of Grindhouse

Top 10 Caddyshack Quotes

Geeking Out and Speed Linking

Columbus Alive Deep Focus Film Fest Announces Schedule for ‘07

Reviews for March 30, 2007

New Pirates 3 Trailer is here!

The 300 Controversy: Fact v. Fiction

It’s hard out here for a pimp…

The TMNT Bonanza! Register Now to Win Cool Prizes!

How do I sign up?

Weekend Update: Time to see 300 again!

Pick of the Week

Also Out this Week

Review: I Think I Love My Wife

Review: Premonition

Trailers: Premonition, Shooter, I Think I Love My Wife, Dead Silence

Premonition

Shooter

I Think I Love My Wife

Dead Silence

‘300′ gets a Spartan push to a $70 mil. Opening Weekend

Related Reading:

Weekend Update: 300 Marches alone

Pick of the Week

Also out this week

Opening in Columbus