It’s the war!

On another note I nearly died the other day. I was riding my bike in clear conditions back from a ride with my friend, (note: I also wear a bright red Mohican on my helmet because I think I am a gansta’ and I ride with the headlights on as you should do) and all of a sudden a woman driving a minivan pulled out right in front of me, forcing me to brake hard and veer into the kerb hitting my leg on a bus stop. No shit. My bike was about an inch away from hitting the dopey bastard who was no doubt out to pick the kids up from their divorced loser of a father. As you can guess, I of all persons was extremely calm and reserved - lying just doesn’t work for me - I was swearing my head off at the stupid bastard, beeping aggressively and giving the stupid bitch so many one finger salutes she could have created an army even Hitler would have been proud of! I normally film my rides with a HD camera I bought but I only have a pansy ass memory card so it wasn’t recording at the time. I WAS going the speed limit (40MPH) because I was waiting for my friend to catch up (yeah, I’m super badass) and I was doing no wrong at all when this bitch decided to make my day a little shittier.

The thing is, she didn’t even look in my direction, i could see the back of her head. She almost hit a rich guy in his Range Rover as well (we joined forces as he gave her the freedom finger along with a beep). The government goes all on about how bikers should take more care and avoid car drivers but why don’t we start with telling car drivers to open their eyes.

In a few weeks time I will be going on holiday where I will be filming a production shoot for a comedy music video. Updates however will carry on as normal because I have nothing better to do with my life. After that I am thinking of applying to do a Digital Media course in Brighton University next year. Brighton is about a 6 hour journey away from where I live now so that would mean moving all my junk down there but to be honest that doesn’t really bother me as I am thinking about leaving this country anyway as I can work from anywhere with an internet connection. I’m pretty sure I’ll be moving next year anyway – sometime, somewhere, somehow. I have no girlfriend, no permanent location, job or attachments. The only real thing I would be leaving behind would be my family who live in the area (half of them anyway). But this doesn’t really bother me for some reason. It may do once I have left but we shall see. The videos will be up once I figure out the best method of achieving the right camera angle in my helmet so that you’re not just seeing potholes. I will also try and film something interesting everyday of my life in a bid to make myself perform a more different routine everyday and to eventually phase out more of the long extended writing you find on the site at the moment.

I think the hooker had never played video games before.

Nothing beats loading my body with poison! I secretly love Pepsi.

1 down, 60 more to go. I hate cyclists.

At 0:05 you clearly see him attempting to commit a Russian style rape.

Maybe i should add unintentional to the title?

In every event, the last man standing is the winner.

Producers of severe indigestion since 2003.

I shit my pants when i saw this amazing product.

Maybe he just forgot how to count?

Great, now he has even less brain cells!

The Houdini of Baseball.

In case you were wondering the kid in the video shouts out: “Attention, i have a huge penis.”

That wasn’t funny at all. Sorry.

BOOM! NUTSHOT!

Just when you thought the world had stopped giving a shit…

Invisible Rope Prank II - Watch more Funny Videos

The cyclist carefully evaded rape.

The dangers of Sat Nav’s.

I don’t think you even have to watch to know the answer.

Although most bouncers are assholes - he is one for a reason.

He doesn’t need American Idol when he goes home to a mansion each night.

At least he can’t look any dumber. Maybe that was mean? Maybe i’m becoming soft?