comhrá

about: kneelin' at his prayers / loyal to a fault

2015-06-21T18:05:00.001-04:00

Larry Kirwan, one of Irish-America's renaissance men, played a solo show last night, which I was fortunate enough to attend. One of the songs he performed was a favorite of mine, "Forty-Deuce" - a rousing ballad, in the best story-telling tradition. Last night, however, my heart felt heavy as he introduced the tune with his anecdote of meeting Sweet Nancy. There is a line, in a later verse: "I blew him to sweet Jesus / While he was kneelin' at his prayers". I knew it was coming, and knew the chord it would strike with me, on this most horrific of weeks. I still flinched when I heard it.

There is another line, about being "young and stupid / Loyal to a fault", that gave me pause. "Loyal to a fault". "Loyal to a fault". Let that sink in. The man who shoot nine unarmed people in Charleston most likely believes he was being 'loyal' to his own faulty ideology.

There can be no excuses. As a friend of mine put it: If you think Dylann Roof was a "lone wolf" - that racism doesn't exist in this country or this was a crime against faith - please, unfollow & block me.

The people who are trying to miscategorize these murders as "against faith" are very much part of the problem rather than the solution. In a word, they are racists, and the worst kind of racists. Pure and simple. They will find any excuse to explain away the "white-on-black" nature of these crimes, while secretly applauding his actions. They will quote statistics for "black-on-white" shootings, and condemn the biased media for not bringing these number up. They are wrong. They are racists. They are loyal to a faulty ideology, preferring to hate their brothers and sisters than to love them.

about: customer service

2015-06-07T18:57:00.001-04:00

I'm certain I have written about customer service before, or, as I call it, Customer Service. Yes, it deserves the capital letters, as it is the cornerstone of every business. Just as a society can be judged by how it treats it's most unfortunate members, so too can a company be judged by how it deals with problems arising out of the use of its products or services. Fixing a broken washing machine, or rescheduling a canceled flight is not "great customer service" - it is the bare minimum that the consuming public have a right to expect. I know all about Service Level Agreements from my technical support background, and even the most reliable systems aren't perfect. (Six Sigma, the last word in quality control, allows for up to 3.4 defects per million. Yes, it sucks to be one of those three and a half people, because the type of process that uses Six Sigma methodology is usually a matter of life or death.)

Anyway, the point I sat down to discuss was that Customer Service is all about the people. Inbound customer support can be soul-destroying - sitting like a battery hen in a cubicle farm the size of several football fields, listening to someone describe the same problem you have already heard about a zillion times since lunchtime. But, the real star performers find a way to stick it out, and keep their sanity.

The guy I spoke to a while ago was a true mega-star: Steve from Time Warner Cable. I called to tell him that my DVR was malfunctioning, and had made a horrible screeching noise that sounded like it was possessed. As well as efficiently handling the mundane account related issues, he advised me that maybe I shouldn't record so many horror movies! Pure gold!

about: public safety

2015-05-29T16:03:00.000-04:00

My family, back in Ireland, worry about me, particularly my mother, living here in big bad America. The United States is a big place, and lots of bad things happen here.

I'm sure their concern was the same when I lived in Dublin, and, you know what, it was probably less misplaced back then.

That isn't to say that I was ever afraid when I lived in Ireland's capital, but, there was something - I can't quite put my finger on it - that was slightly off. Maybe it was all of those Dublin people? No, because I have felt that subtle disquiet in Wexford too, amongst my own childhood neighbors. Whatever it was, I don't feel it here in New York.

The begrudgery, that's what it is. The Irish sense of schadenfreude, a German word that deserves to be Hiberno-English. The readiness to knock people off their pedestals; the readiness to negate someone's happiness because you aren't a part of it; the dog in a manger attitude that says "if I can't be as successful as you, I will criticize you instead". And, be certain, I am not saying that all Irish people are infected with this attitude - but just enough to make life a little bit more miserable for everyone else. "F*ck the begrudgers" is an often heard phrase in Ireland, and no matter how unanimous the support for you is, there will always be one - and where the is one, there is usually two or three more.

I have been out of Ireland for more than five years now, so maybe things have changed. Maybe the callous roar of the Celtic Tiger has been replaced by a more caring tone, as evidenced by the result of the Marriage Equality Referendum.

The reason I sat down to read this post was to tell the story of something to me that happened last week: I parked my car, and walked around the corner, a couple of hundred feet, to a bus stop, to catch a ride into Manhattan. As I waited, a silver car pulled up, and a man of Middle Eastern descent started shouting at me. With the traffic noise, I couldn't make out what he was saying, so I looked at him like I didn't understand English. He was insistent, and kept repeating himself, so I stood up from the bench I was sitting on, an approached his car. He asked again, "What sort of car do you drive?". Now, I have seen some bizarre market research methods, but this was something else... anyway, I answered him, and then he told me that I had left my keys in my car. You see, his car had been parked behind mine, and when he returned to his car, he noticed that my keys were in the door. I guess I had other things on my mind. I thanked him, went back to my car, and retrieved my keys...

So yes, I feel safer here on the streets of New York than I ever did on the streets of Ireland, and that makes me terribly sad.

about: what children's television teaches us about politics

2015-05-26T15:10:00.000-04:00

Goodway, the (lady) Mayor of Adventure Bay is more than a little ditzy. If you haven't heard of her, she is a character in PAW Patrol (a Canadian animated show, debuting in 2013, shown worldwide on Nickelodeon). Mayor Humdinger of neighboring Foggy Bottom is a snooty rip-off of the Monopoly man. The mayor of the big city that Curious George lives in only seems to appear at social gatherings, glad-handing. And don't even get me started on Meanswell, the mayor of Lazy Town, and unhealthy obsession with his secretary...

What sort of impression are these shows giving our pre-school children of elected officials? While the cynic in me might suggest "an accurate one", surely this sort of negative stereotype can only lead to an increase in the growing trend of disrespect for democratic authority?

I know that politics isn't always as compelling as Ireland's recent referendum (or even remotely interesting, most of the time, except to the CSPAN junkies and flunkies, to be honest), but if we are going to introduce the youngest members of our society to a profession and subject that is at the core of how we live and organize ourselves, perhaps a more positive spin could be applied?

about: memorial day 2015

2015-05-25T12:07:00.000-04:00

"Slow and obscene". Three words from Eric Ogle's "No Man's Land/Green Fields of France".

Up and down this great nation, there are Memorial Day parades today, remembering those who went to war and never came home. Dignified events, many including a faith leader, offering a prayer before the parade steps off. Uniforms neatly pressed, equipment polished. A fitting tribute.

As important as it is to honor and remember those who made the ultimate sacrifice, we should not forget that their final moments were not lived in late spring sunshine on familiar streets. The shadow of impending death was cast across their minds, in some cases for many months, before they met their eventual fate. So yes, it was certainly "slow", even if they were granted the small mercy of being "killed instantly". From the industrialized murder trenches of the Great War's Western Front to the improvised destruction of the dusty streets of modern Afghanistan, violent death is certainly "obscene".

As we remember those who fought and died, and show our support for those that fought and lived, we should pledge ourselves to ensuring that no more of the vital youth of this or any nation are sent to their deaths at the whim of gray-haired men.

about: howard and louis

2013-02-16T23:24:00.001-05:00

At least five times a week, I turn right from Howard on to Louis - often enough that I don't bother giving them their full "Avenue" and "Street" titles. It is probably my favorite junction - I'm not such a big fan of Marion and Pommer any more; not since I was rear-ended there by a careless woman in a Honda Odyssey.

Over the winter months it has been dark by the time I am driving home from work. Slowing down, in preparation for coming to a halt at the stop sign, the first thing to catch my eye is the distant light show of Lower Manhattan. I take in this breathtaking sight for a moment, then focus on more immediate, traffic related phenomenon. Look left, look right... nobody crossing... move out across the pedestrian markings... left, right, another quick left and I am turning on to Louis. As I crest the hill, the lit spans of the Verrazano come in to view.

I haven't yet stopped enjoying the exhilaration of these few seconds, but I can't help but wonder if I would feel the same if this junction was at the beginning or in the midst of my homeward commute... does the fact that I am seconds rather than minutes from being re-united with my wife and son feed this mood?

Of course it does. The best part of my day is the joyful shout that emanates from my son when I open the front door, the smiling greeting of my wife, and the exuberant bounds of our dog Bó. And it always will be.

about: changing...

2013-01-29T22:25:00.001-05:00

I'm sure my wife thinks I'm crazy, and I'm not saying she is wrong. Among my many quirks is a tendency to play and joke while changing my son's diaper (that's "nappy" in proper English, but I'm sticking with my adopted vernacular).

Sometimes, like earlier this evening, my son was asleep, so I worked quietly. Times like these are difficult. The silence allows memories to come to the surface; I hesitate to describe them as shit in a sewer, but that is how it feels. As I clean him, and spread the Desitin cream, I am reminded of wildly more sinister genital contact, from my own past.

How could anyone do such a thing to a child? How could anyone drug an adult, and then do such a thing? How could a stranger, after a chance encounter on a wet day, cultivate a friendship with a young boy, grooming him, preparing him, finally luring him in to a secluded corner of a church yard? How could someone ply a friend with alcohol, go through the charade of concern and end up undressing him in his bed? How could someone let this happen to them?

Of course, I have asked these questions many times, whether alone or sitting in one of those small incense-scented rooms that seem to be the stock in trade of psychotherapists the world over. I have answered them too, and come to accept my own blamelessness.

Of course, this nightmare rushes through my mind much more quickly than the words are written or read. Tears well up over the course of a few seconds, and I banish them as I pick my son up, holding him tight as I carry him to his room. This hug gives me strength, but at the same time pause.

I know there may come a day where my little baby will become a surly teenager, probably too cool to hug his old Dad. I dread that day, but at the same time prepare for it. I will make sure that this distance comes from within him, and not as a result of someone stealing his innocence; otherwise, I will make sure that all of the horrors I imagined inflicting on my own abusers become a reality.

I kiss his forehead and lay him in his crib. He hardly stirs, so I turn off the light and tiptoe out of the room. I take some deep breaths, allowing brightest love to overwhelm darkest hate, pick up my iPad and begin to write...

about: the year of "sandy"

2012-12-24T14:47:00.000-05:00

The office is, predictably, quite quiet. So I got to thinking, and one of those thoughts was "I haven't blogged in a long, long time. If I can remember the password I'll post something today."

Then I logged in, and noticed that I have 298 posts, which means my next one will be 300 - maybe I can be more active in 2013. Anyway, what to talk about...

2012 has been a tough year. People that I work, play and pray with have been hit hard by Super Storm Sandy. Parts of Staten Island and the other boroughs, as well as surrounding states, have been devastated - there are still habitable houses without electricity. Lives were lost, none more tragic than two little Irish American boys who were swept from their mother's arms as the ocean came ashore at Father Capadanno Boulevard.

The hardest part of the aftermath of the storm is that it wasn't even the worst tragedy to befall us this year. The memory of another "Sandy" has been indelibly engraved in our collective consciousness. The horrific happenings at Sandy Hook Elementary School have left a long shadow on this festive season.

My own enduring thought is of the parents of the twenty murdered children, and the preparations they had been making for Christmas, which now count for nothing. Stockings that won't be hung, presents that won't be unwrapped. Dreams that will never be fulfilled, snuffed out by a horror beyond our worst nightmare.

The heroism of the slain teachers is no surprise to me. I don't know what the options are, but they should be posthumously awarded the highest civilian honor for bravery that this country has to offer.

Of course, the most enduring legacy that we could bequeath to those lost would be some sanity in the gun-control debate.

about: a saturday morning adventure

2012-08-04T10:43:00.000-04:00

So, this morning I have to make my way to the office for an unscheduled Saturday morning stint, but on the plus side, it means I finally get a chance to listen to Larry Kirwan present Celtic Crush on Sirius XM's Spectrum channel. Which was great, because he gave my good pal Bob Radford a shout-out while introducing a track from The Waterboys' Yeats themed album, and also mentioned that next week he would be featuring interviews from his recent trip to Scotland.

That was the good part, now for the exciting part...

On the highway, which was chock full of idiot drivers (as usual), and I spot a Mitt Romney supporter... with some sort of package just about attached to the roof of his car with bungee cord. A couple of miles earlier a car in front of me did a major "stop and swerve" to avoid a pile of blankets in the middle of the lane - I guess now we know where they came from! Anyway, the bundle is bouncing around, wriggling free of it's bungee bonds, and I am thinking... being behind this vehicle is not a good idea. I was right, because no sooner had I changed lanes and moved alongside, than the mattress (for now that it is unbound, it is identifiable as such) takes flight and deposits itself pretty much exactly where I would have been, absent my preemptive maneuver.

Moral of the story: It isn't just dogs that should "ride inside"?

Oh, and while I reached the office, Larry closed his shown with Black 47's "Staten Island Baby", which I guess should be some kind of theme song for me...

about: snapshot driving behaviour

2012-06-26T17:52:00.000-04:00

Progressive, the company that carries my car insurance, offers a scheme where they reward good driving habits with a discount. As part of this scheme, they have provided me with a device to monitor my driving habits. Every time I start the car, this device logs the journey time, duration and distance, as well as recording the speed of travel, and uploads this information to their web servers. I can access this information, too, and plan to put together an ongoing log, in the form of a FaceBook Album

containing the speed graph of each journey.

about: saving water

2011-08-27T14:46:00.004-04:00

Somewhat bizarrely, while the whole northeastern seaboard prepares for winds and flooding, I was taking steps to save water. While I was in Home Depot yesterday (looking, in vain, for flashlight batteries) I picked up an MJSI dual flush convertor.

The box said it didn't require any tools, installed in under ten minutes, and was within the technical grasp of anyone who can change a light bulb. All of which is true.

I've never really worked inside a toiler cistern before, but the de-installation of the existing handle and flapper was straightfoward, and the installation of the new system was simplicity itself.

It's natural to be somewhat skeptical about a small product with a $20 price tag, that proclaims easy installation and ongoing savings. But having bitten the bullet, I can heartily recommend this little gadget.

The next DIY project is replacing the handles on the the bath...

Romans 12:1-8

2011-08-21T19:06:00.002-04:00

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. ² Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

³ For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. ⁴ For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, ⁵ so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. ⁶ Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; ⁷ if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; ⁸ the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

about: mta karma

2011-07-22T22:03:00.000-04:00

The Good: I was running a little late this morning, so I caught an S78 instead of my usual S74, with the plan of taking a slightly longer walk to work. Now, the S78 turns off Arthur Kill Road before reaching my workplace, so I asked the driver to let me off at the last stop before the turn. As I was the only passenger left, and he was going to the bus depot directly after I got off, he let me stay on until he reached the depot, cutting my walk in half. That may not seem like much, but in today's heat, even at that time of the morning, it was a godsend.

The Bad: There I was, standing there with one leg as long as the other, at the bus stop right outside my workplace, waiting for the 4:09PM S74 service, which duly appeared, at 4:09PM... and drove straight past myself and the two others who were waiting there...

Luckily, a work colleague was driving past as I trekked towards the S78 stop a piece up the road, and offered to drop me off at Nassau train station, so I got home around five anyway, after a trip on the wonderfully air-conditioned Staten Island Railway.

The Ugly:The above "tale of two drivers" is all well and good, a matter of swings and roundabouts. However, I have real concern about something that happened yesterday. I was driving along the highway, with the needle hovering just above the 50 mph speed limit, when not one, but two MTA express buses sped past me. Even in the short time I have been driving here, I am accustomed to cars and vans being driven in an erratic or dangerous manner, but I have found public bus drivers to be generally responsible.

I didn't have the opportunity to see whether the buses were carrying passengers, but even if the drivers were just heading to or from a depot, their speed in vehicles of that size is unforgivable.

about: dog ownership

2011-06-27T12:23:00.000-04:00

I know, I've been neglecting this blog for the longest time... so a long overdue post...

Since I have become a dog owner, I have reflected quite a lot on the relationship between people and their pets. I've also become a fan of Cesar Millan's show, "The Dog Whisperer".

This post, whoever focuses on a short period of time - a little more than a minute of my life - on Saturday afternoon. I was out walking Bó, and had reached Tappen Park. In that brief period, I experienced examples of all that is best and worst in pet ownership.

Worst

A car approached in the opposite direction. A small terrier type dog was trying to jump out the driver's window to get at Bó. Not only was this owner acting irresponsibly by endangering his unrestrained dog, but he was also endangering himself (in the case of an accident) and other road users (by allowing his dog to become a distraction to his attention). I cannot fathom having anyone or anything unrestrained in the passenger compartment of a car.

I'll bet the idiot walks him on a flexi-leash (illegal in New York City, but that's a rant for another day).

Best

As we made our way through the park, another man was walking his dog, a German Shepherd. He spotted us, stopped and told his dog to sit. We exchanged waves and I continued on my route through the park, without the worry of any negative engagement between the two dogs. It matters little whether the man's actions were due to his anticipation of his own dog's behavior, or a distrust of my American Bulldog - he saw the potential for trouble, and acted responsibly.

about: epsilon security breach

2011-04-04T11:31:00.002-04:00

Hot on the heels of the recent play.com security breach, Epsilon, a major marketing organization which sends 40 billion emails annually on behalf of some of the world's largest companies, has confirmed that their systems were compromised. Among their clients is JPMorgan Chase, of whom I am a customer, so I received this email earlier today:

Date: April 4, 2011 9:12:49 AM EDT

Chase is letting our customers know that we have been informed by Epsilon, a vendor we use to send e-mails, that an unauthorized person outside Epsilon accessed files that included e-mail addresses of some Chase customers. We have a team at Epsilon investigating and we are confident that the information that was retrieved included some Chase customer e-mail addresses, but did not include any customer account or financial information. Based on everything we know, your accounts and confidential information remain secure. As always, we are advising our customers of everything we know as we know it, and will keep you informed on what impact, if any, this will have on you.

We apologize if this causes you any inconvenience. We want to remind you that Chase will never ask for your personal information or login credentials in an e-mail. As always, be cautious if you receive e-mails asking for your personal information and be on the lookout for unwanted spam. It is not Chase's practice to request personal information by e-mail.

As a reminder, we recommend that you:

Don't give your Chase OnlineSM User ID or password in e-mail.
Don't respond to e-mails that require you to enter personal information directly into the e-mail.
Don't respond to e-mails threatening to close your account if you do not take the immediate action of providing personal information.
Don't reply to e-mails asking you to send personal information.
Don't use your e-mail address as a login ID or password.

The security of your information is a critical priority to us and we strive to handle it carefully at all times. Please visit our Security Center at chase.com and click on "Fraud Information" under the "How to Report Fraud." It provides additional information on exercising caution when reading e-mails that appear to be sent by us. Sincerely, Patricia O. Baker Senior Vice President Chase Executive Office

about: play.com security breach

2011-03-23T12:49:00.000-04:00

As a play.com customer, I received the following emails regarding a recent security breach:

Date: March 21, 2011 7:12:51 PM EDT

Dear Customer,

Email Security Message

We are emailing all our customers to let you know that a company that handles part of our marketing communications has had a security breach. Unfortunately this has meant that some customer names and email addresses may have been compromised.

We take privacy and security very seriously and ensure all sensitive customer data is protected. Please be assured this issue has occurred outside of Play.com and no other personal customer information has been involved.

Please be assured we have taken every step to ensure this doesn’t happen again and accept our apologies for any inconvenience this may have caused some of you.

Customer Advice

Please do be vigilant with your email and personal information when using the internet. At Play.com we will never ask you for information such as passwords, bank account details or credit card numbers. If you receive anything suspicious in your email, please do not click on any links and forward the email on to privacy@play.com for us to investigate.

Thank you for continuing to shop at Play.com and we look forward to serving you in the future.

Play.com Customer Service Team

Date: March 22, 2011 5:42:26 PM EDT

Dear Customer,

As a follow up to the email we sent you last night, I would like to give you some further details. On Sunday the 20th of March some customers reported receiving a spam email to email addresses they only use for Play.com. We reacted immediately by informing all our customers of this potential security breach in order for them to take the necessary precautionary steps.

We believe this issue may be related to some irregular activity that was identified in December 2010 at our email service provider, Silverpop. Investigations at the time showed no evidence that any of our customer email addresses had been downloaded. We would like to assure all our customers that the only information communicated to our email service provider was email addresses. Play.com have taken all the necessary steps with Silverpop to ensure a security breach of this nature does not happen again.

We would also like to reassure our customers that all other personal information (i.e. credit cards, addresses, passwords, etc.) are kept in the very secure Play.com environment. Play.com has one of the most stringent internal standards of e-commerce security in the industry. This is audited and tested several times a year by leading internet security companies to ensure this high level of security is maintained. On behalf of Play.com, I would like to once again apologise to our customers for any inconvenience due to a potential increase in spam that may be caused by this issue .

Best regards,

John

John Perkins
CEO
Play.com

about: google doodles

2011-02-12T20:22:00.001-05:00

Google's "Doodles" have become almost as big a part of popular culture as the name of the Internet behemoth itself.

Since 2000, there have been 10 commemorative doodles to mark Ireland's national holiday. Already, I'm looking forward to a 2011 creation.

2010
2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2002
2001
2000

about: aer lingus unfair fares

2010-12-16T21:20:00.006-05:00

We interrupt out regularly scheduled "419" post, to bring you this breaking story...

My wife forwarded an email to me this afternoon, advertising an Aer Lingus sale. So, I decided to take a look - here are some of the options I explored:

JFK-DUB 02/20/2011 184.00 + 21.46 $205.46
DUB-JFK 03/26/2011 184.00 + 73.24 $257.24
------- ---------- -------------- $462.70

This looked like a pretty good deal, but then I realised that the return leg was in March, not February as I intended, so I corrected this information, and tried again.

JFK-DUB 02/20/2011 293.00 + 21.46 $314.46
DUB-JFK 02/26/2011 293.00 + 82.10 $375.10
------- ---------- -------------- $689.70

Hang on! I haven't changed the first leg of my itinerary, but it's cost has increased by $109 per ticket! So, it seems that the cost of the eastward flight has changed based on when I intend to make the westward leg? Surely not?

So, I decided to see what would happen to the cost of the eastward leg if I changed the westward leg...

JFK-DUB 01/20/2011 169.00 + 21.46 $190.46
DUB-JFK 02/26/2011 279.00 + 82.10 $361.10
------- ---------- -------------- $551.56

Yes, indeed - the price has changed again - and this time it has decreased, albeit by $14.

I decided to check what pricing was available if I wanted to book these flights independently...

One-way tickets:
JFK-DUB 02/20/2011 453.00 + 21.46 $474.46
DUB-JFK 02/26/2011 269.00 +111.14 €380.14 ($504.51)
------- ---------- -------------- $978.97

Wow! I couldn't believe these discrepancies, so I double and triple checked each one.

According to these figures, I could pay between $205.46 and $474.46 for the same seat on New York to Dublin leg, and $361.10 and $504.51 for the eastward return.

Aer Lingus have seats available for the itinerary I require, priced at $566.56, which they will make available to me for no less than $689.70, and are prepared to charge $978.97 for the exact same service.

I did take an Economics course in college, having studied it for my Leaving Cert, and quite enjoyed it... so I do have some understanding of the laws of supply and demand. The price differentials above are not the result of "supply and demand" issues. The supply is the same in all of the above cases, as is the demand. The question remains: why the differential pricing?

It isn't even like I am trying to book something last minute; same planes, same flights, same advance booking time. The only difference: $123.14 (21.7%) per person... I can thing of plenty of things I would rather do with $246.28 than give it to Aer Lingus...

Disclaimer: I would have noticed differences even if they were very much smaller. Anybody who has ever been shopping with me would attest to that... I'd pick up two $1.99 boxes of cookies rather than a $3.99 twin-pack.

about: the 419 tale, part 1

2010-12-09T19:58:00.003-05:00

Okay, so by now, you should be familiar with the idea of the 419/Nigeria/Advance Fee scam. If not, take a look at my previous post.

My particular experience is somewhat different, as the scammer, John Scott (probably not his real name, and undoubtedly he is not a New York based lawyer who acts as CEO of "Amerikids Cancer Care Foundation"), is offering me a job as his assistant. "But why would someone contact you, out of the blue, to offer you a job?" I hear you ask... and yes, you would be right... it would take a world-class dumb-ass to fall for so obvious a ruse... but he didn't contact me, I contacted him, because he posted a genuine looking advertisement offering an employment opportunity, on a reputable website (silive.com/jobs). Cost of posting an online advert for one week - $35. I wonder if the website owners will ever see that money? I wonder if I will ever hear back from them after reporting that they published a bogus employment advertisement?

The advertisement may also have appeared in the printed version of the Staten Island Advance, but that would have cost more - of course, if you are scamming the publisher too, what difference would it make?

Unfortunately, I didn't save a copy of the advert, which has by now expired. It was something pretty basic, along the lines of: Administrative Assistant Required, send resume to amerikidsccfoundation@yahoo.com. So that's just what I did...

...and so on to the first response from "John"...

Date: Tue, Nov 30, 2010 at 11:45 AM
From: amerikidsccfoundation@yahoo.com
To: Francis Mahon
Subject: Re: Administrative Assistant position

Hello,
I received your resume in response to the ad posted on the site for an Assistant, I will deeply appreciate all genuine efforts to help me monitor and keep up to date with all my activities. My previous assistant has been very commendable in her activities and has been part of my life for the past 4 months, she has now returned to her country. I sincerely hope I will be able to find someone again who will be as efficient and diligent as she has been.

I'm John, originally from Australia, but I have spent a whole lot in United States. I'm a lawyer by profession and I have been pretty successful in a handful of ventures i get involved in, from the National Support Group in Canada and United States to various welfare and community service programs, I often get my hands occupied so it is imperative for me to have a worthy assistant who can monitor and keep up to date with my activities.

As my assistant, your activities among other things will include and not limited to:
* Running personal errands, supervisions and monitoring.
* Scheduling programs, flights and keeping me up to date with them.
* Acting as an alternative telephone correspondence when I'm away.
* Making regular contacts and drop-offs on my behalf.
* Handling and monitoring some of my financial activities.
* Pay is $600 weekly

This position is flexible, working with me is basically about instructions and following them, my only fear is that i may come out with impromptu assignment sometimes, so I need someone who can be able to meet up with my irregular timings. There is also a very sensitive issue on trust and accountability which I believe will resolve itself as time goes on. This is only an introductory e-mail, as time goes on we should be able to arrange a proper meeting to get things started officially. I'm currently in Sydney,Australia now for a summit. however, I do have a number of things you could help me with this week if you will be available. This can act as a stable foundation to our working relationship.

Hope to hear from you again.

Regards.
CEO
John Scott
Amerikids Cancer Care Foundation ltd

Where to start? The poor capitalization and the poor grammar are an obvious indicator that all is not what it seems. The fact that a Google search for "Amerikids Cancer Care Foundation ltd" doesn't turn up anything positive was strike two. With a pitcher's count, I went for the "K"... and there it was... strike three... (here comes the science bit) the email originated from IP address 82.128.4.5, located in, where but... Lagos, Nigeria.

You know, the premise of the email is reasonable enough. The guy is out-of-town, which precludes an immediate interview, and opens the opportunity to do him a favor in his absence.

So, it looked like a scam, smelt like a scam... but how was John going to profit from my actions? Did he intend to use me as a drug mule, or perhaps a cog in a complex money-laundering operation?

Tune in next time for another exciting installment...

about: 419

2010-12-08T20:56:00.000-05:00

I am about to embark on a series of blog posts, telling the story of an attempted "419" (aka Nigerian) scam. If you are unfamiliar with the term, click here for the snopes.com summary.

I was tempted to post it on my "scriobh" blog, as, after all, it concerns a masterful work of fiction on the part of the perpetrator.

As the series develops, you will see that this particular attempt at scamming is somewhat novel. I hope this tale will serve as a cautionary tale...

about: dog day of autumn (fall)

2010-12-06T20:32:00.000-05:00

"Keeping Bó" hasn't really been a decision made at a single point in time. Since his arrival, he has settled in to our home, and our hearts. Saturday last was a significant day in our lives as dog owners... our first visit to the vet, and the ordeal of clipping his nails.

- o O o -

Paul Kinnear is so well known as an expert on bulldogs that people bring their animals from far and near, but he has been my wife's family's vet through many years, breeds and species.

The vast majority of animals in the waiting room on Saturday morning were bullies. Bó was, as usual, on his best behaviour while meeting other people and animals. He wasn't overly nervous or aggressive during the examination. He had no problem having his teeth and mouth examined, and while he didn't like the blood draw, he didn't complain.

The result: a clean bill of health.

- o O o -

The nails, however, were a slightly different matter. For the past week or so I have been acclimatizing Bó to wearing a muzzle for short periods. This was to be the acid test. We brought him next door, into what my mother-in-law refers to (in jest, I hope) as her 'chamber of horrors' - the basement. She grooms and clips her own dogs there, and has dealt with her own big dogs in the past, but Bó is big!

We (myself, my wife and both her parents) had quite a fight on our hands keeping him restrained, and my mother-in-law felt that it wasn't her best clipping job. But it got done, and the dog lived! He got plenty of treats when the muzzle came off, and had a lot of fun - running on a treadmill, jumping up and down off the table and swallowing the ear from a stuffed goose toy. Maybe next time he won't resist so much?

- o O o -

So there it is... adversity can be a great bonding experience, and after what we put him through on Saturday, I think we can assuredly say that he is "our dog".

about: halloween

2010-10-31T20:17:00.000-04:00

My first Halloween in New York.

I haven't seen any of the photographs from the party last night, but they will come... myself and Alyson were Gryffindor students.

The "trick-or-treat"ers who ring our bell deserve their candy, after climbing up all those steps... I'd like to say 39, but it isn't quite that many!

I've also carved my first jack-o-lantern. My sister back in Ireland is something of a carving veteran, and produced an awesome howling wolf last year. She challenged me to a carving contest; for that reason, for my initial attempt, I aimed high - a "Beware of the Dog" pumpkin... you can judge the results for yourself. I'll post a better picture after I get my own camera out.

about: public transport

2010-10-28T14:34:00.000-04:00

Those who run public transport systems the world over after almost universally reviled. So it is with the MTA, particularly in this time of fare hikes and service cuts. However, I had reason to contact them today, and have thus far been pleased, nay, astounded by their efficiency.

I sent them an email at 12:38, and was advised in the automatic response that I might not expect to hear from them for up to three weeks. Lo and behold, I received a reply at 2:05, with an explanation and action.

My email:

I note that the incorrect signage is displayed on the S46/S52 bus stop at Castleton & Cebra. The signage indicates (incorrectly) that the S46 direction of travel is towards St. George Ferry.

Their reply:

The installation and maintenance of bus-stop signs is under the jurisdiction of the New York City Department of Transportation (NYCDOT). We contacted their Bus-Stop Management Unit to request that a work order be issued to install a bus-stop sign

If you have any additional concerns regarding signage at this location, you may contact the NYCDOT Bus-Stop Management Unit directly at (718) 894-2816.

I wait at the above mentioned bus stop three times a week, so it will be interesting to see how long the correction of the signage takes. Up until last week, I don't think there was even a sign indicating that the S46 bus stopped there...

about: facebook comment

2010-10-24T14:40:00.001-04:00

Maybe it is because it is Sunday, or maybe my most recent post has something to do with it, but anyway, I'm feeling a lot more expressive (some might say 'didactic') today, and of late. A Facebook friend of mine posted the following status update, and I was inclined to take a little time to reply:

Really don't understand why some churches are so judgmental and put down other churches, religions and beliefs. Some people are simple minded, why???

My reply:
Religion and politics... in order for "our" beliefs to be right, "their" beliefs have to be wrong... is, was, and ever shall be.

No matter how absurd (I'm thinking of the Lilliputians and Blefuscudians in Gulliver's Travels, at war over which end of an egg to open) or profound an ideology, it will have enemies, either actual or invented.

The more progressive religions and sects see the others as opponents, or even unenlightened friends, rather than enemies. Unfortunately, "progressive" and "religion" are all too rarely bedfellows.

about: to my american friends

2010-10-21T15:49:00.002-04:00

My ongoing interest in US affairs of state has, of course, been increased by virtue of my moving here. I also get more coverage, whether from the news networks, magazines or newspaper editorials.

It will be a number of years (2013 at the earliest) before I can have an official influence on the affairs of this nation that I now call home. Having said that, I increasingly feel the need to flex my political neurons...

To my American friends

The Tea Party movement (and it's slightly less blimpish allies in the Republican main-stream) doesn't need your money, being well-financed by it's corporate backers; it doesn't want your opinion, it has more than enough of it's own.

What it does need and want is your most sacred possession as an American - your vote. Generally a vote is a transient thing, yours to gift from election to election. However, a number of factors endanger your ownership of an effective democratic franchise:

Boundary revisions are due before the next election cycle.
As the saying goes, "to the victor go the spoils". I'm not saying that Democratic gerrymandering is any more desirable than Republican district-rigging, but bear in mind that the electoral benefits of incumbency are only reinforced by the power to carve up the electorate.
The most likely solution to the anti-democratic outcome of the Supreme Court's Citizens Unlimited decision is a 28th Amendment to the Constitution. This is much less likely to happen if the main beneficiary of this unfortunate ruling gains significant legislative power.

While these factors may favor the party of the right in the near-term, making the government less responsive to the electorate is always a bad idea. It enables idealogues to pursue their own agendas with much less fear of electoral consequences. It gives government a undesirable inertia which can lead to organizational negligence, and ultimately to voter apathy. In difficult economic times, it is much less challenging to take the short-term view, and react against the controlling party. However, maybe you should ask yourself if this could be a step closer to a government "of the politicians, by the extremists, for the corporations."

Before you throw out the bath water, consider the baby.