Each time we take that risk of saying something we’re not 100% sure about, it puts a little faith out, and faith does have power. You’re trusting that things will be ok – not just ok, but in fact better because of your openness and honesty. All I can really say is that it has paid off far more often than not.

I think we’re all really aching to be able to be open, honest, and vulnerable with people, but we are so scared of what will happen because there is definitely a possibility of getting hurt. It’s probably happened to all of us before, but the relationships we can build and grow if we just reach out can really make those hurts seem trivial by comparison.

How have you been doing with all this? It took me a while to remember to check back because I apparently neglected to check the “notify me” box. I’ve really enjoyed your post and additional thoughts.

“I won’t even realize what I’m going to say until it’s been said.”

This thought terrifies me.

Though I do realize its value which you point out, as I’ve had that experience a few times. Just today, actually. Though that was still about some stuff I had chewed over many times.

It’s funny that for as much as I don’t care what people think about me, and I really don’t, there are ways that I do. Also, I don’t want to do damage. Maybe confidence plays a bigger role in the problem than I had thought. But maybe not just confidence in myself, but in the people on the receiving end of my words as well, to trust that they will not judge me too harshly should something come out half-baked or not quite as intended.

Hmmm.

I’m quite sure this doesn’t answer your question in any real satisfacory way, but hopefully it inspires thought in a good direction.

I too think things over a lot, and that’s good to a degree. My problem is that I hear someone say somethinvg, my wife for instance, and I will think a response. Then I will repeat it in my head several times, always trying to find the perfect way to say it. Thus, it’s difficult for me to get past that one thought and I miss out on the potential of that conversation.

Over the years I have learned from wonderful wife the value of talking and sometimes force myself to say that “unfinished” thought. What I invariably find is that even though I don’t necessarily say it right the first time, it allows me to continue my thought and I often end up learning something valuable by listening to myself talk. I won’t even realize what I’m going to say until it’s been said.

I think sometimes our soul/body knows truths that we won’t let our minds realize and they can come out like this.

It’s of course important to talk like this to someone who delights in listening as much as airing their own opinions.

This is one thought about the worth in overcoming shyness. It was important for me to understand about myself in order to overcome it. For a long time that success has mostly been in talking to my wife, and has not

I hope you find your friend.