Comments for Positive Parenting Skills

Comment on Respite Care for Adopted Children by Julie

Julie — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 02:37:58 +0000

Oh Exhausted Mom – My heart breaks for you. You have worked so hard for the last 10 years. Let me ask you this, if you didn’t unadopt him, would you have to pay for him to stay in respite? Because it sounds like a good place for both him and you. As for the counselor, if she hasn’t even met you, her advice isn’t worth spit! Triangulation is a something RADs do so well and if a counselor isn’t educated in RAD, they would be easily duped.
Letting go, whether through him staying in respite or unadopting him, is something only you can decide. As best as you can, take out the guilt, also others opinions (unless they know the WHOLE story), and look at what is best for your family and you, finally! You are an awesome mom! Julie
Julie recently posted..You Are So Smart – What Not to Say to Your Kids!

Comment on Respite Care for Adopted Children by exhausted mum

exhausted mum — Sun, 14 Apr 2013 14:12:04 +0000

Hi my 16 year old teen was adopted at the age of 6 from a orphanage where he had been since birth. He has been very hard to attach with since adopting. In the xmas holidays he stole $5000 from me and his brother by accessing my pin in phone banking. He had also been spending as much time away from the family as he could in the previous year. Following the stealing this year (he has stolen before) he spoke 5? words a day to me for over a month so I asked the church for respite care. He is having a great time, chatting and fitting in with their family and now does not know when or if he ever wants to come home. My son has not contacted me except once to ask for money for a month. The respite carer has made contacting my son difficult . I suggested the respite carer read about adoption issues so he could see where I was coming from and I also asked to take my son to be assessed for rad. He responded so rudely that I had to hang up. The counselor my son was seeing (as part of his police contract) worked only with my son and when I contacted her to talk she said that my son had maybe needed better role models, he needed to feel wanted and I was wrong to be upset about paying for him to live away from home when I never saw him. I was insulted by her comments.
I could handle this better if I hadn’t had a very stressful few years, my husband has died, my family lives elsewhere, I am unemployed (teachers can’t get jobs because of our city’s earthquakes) , have had challenges with my other children and I’ve had health issues. I’ve always bent over backwards and done a great job easing the way for all my children thru the tough times and my adopted son’s had lots of support, friends and fun.
I am thinking of undoing the adoption as I con’t sleep and I don’t know if I am able to cope with him playing games with me for the rest of my life.

Comment on Does The Total Transformation Really Work? by Julie

Julie — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 22:41:56 +0000

Dealing with adults who are abusive is tough. You definitely did the right thing by asking her to leave. One thing I have learned in raising my kids is “there is no excuse for abuse”. Not sure if her husband sneaking behind her back and talking to you will be good for their marriage. She has made her choices, all you can do is be open to working things through with her if she decides she wants to do this without hitting. Sorry for your heartbrokenness
Julie recently posted..You Are So Smart – What Not to Say to Your Kids!

Comment on Does The Total Transformation Really Work? by Matilda

Matilda — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 14:57:19 +0000

I am lost. My daughter is 24 now, married one year. She is a really good person but has suffered bouts of anger to the point of breaking and hitting. More recently she and her husband moved in with me for (we agreed one year) to save money for a home. I said something to her about repaying money they borrowed and she blew up, hit me then ten minutes later regretted this action. I made them move out which they now live in a motel. My heart is broken, she does not speak with me, I speak with her wonderful husband but he does not want her to know. I know she needs help, I love her please advise me, I am at my end.

Loving mother.

Comment on Attachment Disorder Symptoms by Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 01:47:26 +0000

Look to see if there is a Casey Family Services Group, or another type of group for “Parenting Adopted Children.” Often there is someone trained to lead these groups who is familiar with RAD; and it can be comforting knowing that other parents there have often had VERY simlar experiences to your own. Best to you.

Comment on Is Total Transformation a Scam? by Julie

Julie — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 01:35:52 +0000

It can be if you submit the survey on the review of the program. Call Total Transformation on how that works!
Julie recently posted..Respite Care for Adopted Children

Comment on Another Sunday In the Life!! by Julie

Julie — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 01:34:34 +0000

I used to say “all they need is love and prayer”. Man have I learned alot! Like how not to yell at people “try living a day in my life and then pop off” at the top of my lungs!! Haha good for you for taking a deep breath. My permission (one RAD mom to another) to say “it’s always easier to give advice when you are on the outside” kindly.
Julie recently posted..Respite Care for Adopted Children

Comment on Is Total Transformation a Scam? by darneia29

darneia29 — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 23:58:14 +0000

The program is not free!

Comment on Another Sunday In the Life!! by Kaz Bunch

Kaz Bunch — Sun, 24 Feb 2013 18:07:36 +0000

I really needed to read this today. We have been struggling with one of our RAD kiddos at home and feeling alone. If I have one more person tell me he just needs to know he is loved … I’ll take another deep breath and kindly listen to them like I always do while feeling a deep stab in my heart. Thank you for your honest transparency.

Comment on Positive Parenting Skills by scott

scott — Mon, 04 Feb 2013 03:31:21 +0000

Thank you for the advice, still dreading going to court. She has a little sister that is 9 and warships her here. So it makes it hard on all of us.