Comments for Private Secret Diary

Comment on I host a child’s birthday party. by guyana gyal

guyana gyal — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 12:45:40 +0000

Don’t give them sweets! Sweets make them hyper. Let them run wild in the yard, they’ll get tired. Then play games.

Just before they go home, stuff them with sweets. That should learn them parents good.

Comment on I host a child’s birthday party. by Zoe

Zoe — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 17:37:53 +0000

You should have called me! I love organising parties. The only time that I went wrong was when I planned my daughters’ party on the same day as the Belgian team playing in the World Cup. The horror! Their father had decided to take all the kids out for a bike ride but didn’t get further than the end of the road when one girl fell off and broke her arm.

It was so hot that they all came back begging to be allowed inside so I sat them down in front of the telly with an aspirin each – and they loved it.

Win win!

Comment on I host a child’s birthday party. by Sam

Sam — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 00:02:29 +0000

Totally agree with Richard on his point!!

Comment on I host a child’s birthday party. by JonnyB

JonnyB — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 17:19:03 +0000

I gave the vodka to the children to speed things along a bit. And the metier. (Not sure what metier is, I imagine it is some form of French liqueur)

Comment on I host a child’s birthday party. by Pat

Pat — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 16:24:29 +0000

At last you’ve found your metier.

Comment on I host a child’s birthday party. by monkeymother

monkeymother — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 22:07:26 +0000

The last children’s party I hosted was 33 years and 11 months ago. I am still haunted by the memory.

Comment on I host a child’s birthday party. by Greenmantle

Greenmantle — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 11:51:34 +0000

Er,no Grumpyoldwoman….The real secret is don’t have any bloody kids! And while you’re at it, disown any friends who might inconsiderately subject you to their spawn…..Oh Tranqulity how I love thee!

Comment on I host a child’s birthday party. by grumpyoldwoman

grumpyoldwoman — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 19:03:21 +0000

The secret is to hire a couple of teenagers to entertain the kids and to hide in the shed with vodka – or am I the only one that did that?

Comment on I host a child’s birthday party. by Ivan the Terrible

Ivan the Terrible — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 15:14:47 +0000

As the last Western Roman Emperor was actually a child, you might not be far wrong there, Megan. I think he swapped Gaul to the Visigoths for a champion conker.

As for you “not being used to blindfolding children, Jonny, I can believe it. Binding and ball-gagging, sure, but why would you blindfold them? It’s no fun if they can’t see you preparing the equipment…

Comment on I host a child’s birthday party. by Megan

Megan — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 14:37:31 +0000

This is why I organized all of my kids’s parties with military precision including FOUR emergency time-wasting games. I’m pretty sure that Rome actually fell because some idiot in a toga left a roomful of six year olds with nothing to do for ten minutes.