Comments for Shrink4Men

Comment on Shrink4Men Radio Monday, February 20, 2012 at 9pm EST: Daddy Justice Helps Expose Corrupt Judge Kelly S. Ballentine by alreadylost

alreadylost — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 18:07:51 +0000

In as much as this is Dr T’s blog she is entitled to post about what ever subjects she chooses just as everyone is free to read the posts or not as their tastes dictate. The information provided here and on the original site has been invaluable to me and many many others. The entire range of subject matter is vital to not only provide a way to:

A) recognize the problem of living with an HCP
B) address the problem of dealing with the same either by getting out or coping in
C) understanding the consequences of breaking the ties in a system that is heavily biased
D) beginning to formulate strategies to fight and eventually overcome that bias

We can spend our energy bitching about the system or we can spend it trying to change the system. It won’t happen overnight but with persistence we will prevail. Look back at all of the just causes that have been fought for and rights won in the past. Change may be slow in coming but it is inevitable. We need to be in this fight for the next generation and the next and the next. We may not see justice but perhaps our sons and grandsons will.

Comment on Shrink4Men Radio Monday, February 20, 2012 at 9pm EST: Daddy Justice Helps Expose Corrupt Judge Kelly S. Ballentine by Mark

Mark — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 14:39:18 +0000

On the show…
Cops do lie in court. Those that do don’t last long or if they do you come up with Drew Peterson. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stacy_Peterson). Me…I don’t lie. Period. I would rather loose a case than have to live with violating someone’s rights.

Hollow point (HP) bullets. No big deal. They work as well as any other ammo. The distinction that HP bullets are BAD is a media myth that continues to be perpetrated. Remember the “Black Talon” thing. Change the color and call them Ranger STX…same bullet. Gun under seat bad! Period.

Family Court….Rather go to the dentist for a root planing. Break a leg. Get knocked out. Family court just sucks.

Bad Judges. Add in Politics, goofy rules and sub standard DA’ and it is a circus. I do wish the bailiff would change the “All Rise..” announcement to “Cue the circus music…”

Attorneys. Its a club. To be a Judge (most of the time) you have to be an attorney. They all know each other, hang out together, intermarry, send their kids to the same schools, etc. You want to fight a Judge you have to catch them outside the courtroom, quite literally, with their pants down. Or driving drunk. Or whatever.

Judges and Accountability. In most states the state Supreme Court or Attorney General controls discipline of Judges. Complaining against a Judge or practicing attorney is VERY HARD. Remember it’s a club.

I wish all but the most sensitive cases (kids, sex assault, things like that)could be on video. Broadcasting live would be good to. I really do. All the shenanigans, stupidity, odd interpretations of law, etc. would stop.

Paul is correct…(about 40:00 into the show). Most people don’t care so they won’t step up. Hence the problems and stupidity continue.

Hat tip to Ben. You are doing us all a great service by taking the heat for this and taking your camera with you.

Comment on Relationship Stages, Abusive Women and the WTF Moment, Part Two by LT Greenwald

LT Greenwald — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 23:25:37 +0000

Hi tenquilts,

I am a child (now a 32 year old man) of divorce. Your husband is doing the right thing. My mother was BPD/NPD — I can remember rage, meanness, lying, favoritism, neglect, and generally not giving a shit about me and my sister other than to try to get us to hate our father. My mother demanded TOTAL loyalty to her and to no one else.

My father, on the other hand, was a give-the-shirt-off-his-back kind of guy. He probably went a little too far, certainly with my sister. He let my sister walk all over him because he felt bad that he rarely saw us. With me, he was much more strict. But he was strict in a fair way. When I look at my life now — I am relatively successful professionally and socially — I know owe it to him. Going to my dad’s house was the ultimate respite from my mom’s chaotic home. I always knew he would be fair to me and I craved it.

My dad died when I was 19 — I gave the eulogy. My evil mother made his death ALL ABOUT HER.

I just wish he was still around. I would give anything for another hour or minute with him.

So tell your husband to treasure his time with his kids. My moments with my dad made some of the best memories of my life.

Comment on Happy Ballentine’s Day from Daddy Justice: Ben Vonderheide Exposes Corruption of District Justice Kelly S. Ballentine that Results in 9 Felony Counts by ron7127

ron7127 — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 02:43:37 +0000

Yes, Tara, it seems that a high% of folks simply accept that the members of the judiciary are bright and moral. But, if you really look and listen to them you find that they are neither, in many cases.
Seems we need to imbue these figureheads with all types of talent and virtue, so that we feel safer.
Our legal system is rife with incompetence and corruption. Juries and Judges get things wrong a lot. This is why favoring the death penalty seems insane to me.One can only imagine the thousands of folks wrongly executed over the centuries.
This judge, Ballantine, reminds me of a lot of the judges I have seen appointed-incompetnt and corrupt. I wonder where she ranked in her law school class.

Comment on A View from the Outside: How Healthy Loved Ones See your Abusive Relationship with a High-Conflict and/or Personality Disordered Partner by Forever Frustrated

Forever Frustrated — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 02:42:24 +0000

thanks for the reply, it’s nice to know I am not alone. Sometimes it is very easy to get roped in and be confused by the things that he says. Such as sending me links on psychotic ex-girlfriends comparing me to them and calling it “proof” that I am just not right, despite the fact that the situations are not even close and do not compare. It is true that he shifts alot if not all of the blame onto me, as well as being quite verbally and psychologically abusive and manipulative. He is also Bipolar and has addictions to lying and porn and severe anger management issues, more like rage. I guess I have alot of reading to do to learn, and I am looking for a counselor to help with learning to deal with issues that all of this has caused.
He uses this site as a way to back up his claims as wrong as they are, but has little actual knowledge, even going as far as going to anger management group JUST to get ammunition to backlash onto me, not to get help.

Comment on Happy Ballentine’s Day from Daddy Justice: Ben Vonderheide Exposes Corruption of District Justice Kelly S. Ballentine that Results in 9 Felony Counts by Dr Tara J. Palmatier

Dr Tara J. Palmatier — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 19:15:53 +0000

Thanks for the insights, ron7127. Frighteningly, that explains a lot.

Comment on A View from the Outside: How Healthy Loved Ones See your Abusive Relationship with a High-Conflict and/or Personality Disordered Partner by ron7127

ron7127 — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 18:40:10 +0000

I have a bit of the reverse situation. A sibling was involved with a very nice, successful guy who she would badmouth and treat terribly. Often, she would expect him to bail her out, financially, and she would even rant about his unwillingness to marry her(despite her acknowledging that she neither loved or was attracted to him) so that he could buy them a house and put her on his health insurance.
Tough position to be in, but I , eventually, told the guy he was being abused. Now, fortunately for him, he is out, as she has moved on to another target.
In my first marriage, one of my wife’s sisters, came to me and informed me about the infidelity and my wife’s history of being abusive. She advised me to divorce her. I was always grateful for her assistance.
It is touhg to know what to do when a family member , who you love, is preying on an outsider.

Comment on A View from the Outside: How Healthy Loved Ones See your Abusive Relationship with a High-Conflict and/or Personality Disordered Partner by ron7127

ron7127 — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 18:31:35 +0000

Be careful of “fundamental attribution error” L. You are involved with someone highly invested in painting a certain picture of his wife to justify the cheating.
And, since cheating is considered one of the most severe forms of emotional abuse, you may be seeing this woman merely reacting, out of character, to a trauma that many experts feel is tougher than rape or loss of a child.
If she is acting nuts, it may well be a response to her husband’s cheating.
Same with shifting the assets. She nmay be trying to protect herself and the kids from the effects of his philandering.

Comment on Happy Ballentine’s Day from Daddy Justice: Ben Vonderheide Exposes Corruption of District Justice Kelly S. Ballentine that Results in 9 Felony Counts by ron7127

ron7127 — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 18:23:02 +0000

No surprise. I know of two, fairly promiscous women judge here in Minneapolis, who have bothe cheated on their spouse with married men, and who, routinely rake guys over the coals in a blatantly sexist fashion in both sentencing and when a guy applies for a TRO due to his female partner’s violence.
I don’t think the general public understands that the folks sitting on the bench were, often, not the brightest in their law school classes , nor are they, in many cases, very morally upright. Many have good hair, or have political connections that got them on the bench.
Being a Judge is a very easy, low stress job, as compared to actually preparing and trying cases.
Many lawyers ae attracted to it because the pay is decent, the work load is easy, and there is a ton of time off, as well as perks,
These folks, the judges, are, seldom all that bright and are often just a-holes that just got by in law school.

Comment on Shrink4Men Radio Monday, February 20, 2012 at 9pm EST: Daddy Justice Helps Expose Corrupt Judge Kelly S. Ballentine by chester

chester — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 18:19:32 +0000

When you stick to your stuff, and just do what you do, the commentary on here is much more extensive…far more discussion. The other stuff, not as much. I think that speaks volumes as to what most of us come here for. You really are a big damn deal in our lives. I know you pretty much saved mine. I think the world of you.