I work a full time job, provide health insurance, and all other needs. He was only supposed to pay what amounts to 87% of the day care costs at that time. Now that it's been nearly 5 years since the order was given, all of the costs associated with providing for the children are higher. His child support obligation has never been raised. This seems more than fair to me.

I think your anger is aimed the wrong direction and I think that this is the product of two things in our society:

1. The restribution of wealth, where the government thinks it can take from one class of people and give to another; and

2. The attitude amongst many Americans that they are entitled to stuff that they didn't work for.

I am 47 years old. My parents were divorced in 1970. My mom didn't ever receive a dime from my dad for the court ordered child support. It used to be like that a lot and a lot of women ended up on the welfare roles. Back then it was normal for a woman not to work and if she did, most of the women didn't earn very much because they were mostly in secretarial or low paying service jobs.

So, the government went after the wage earner over time – the father. The government did this because supporting the women and children on food stamps (back in my day, it was called commodities) and with housing assistance and MediCaid – was expensive.

Let me state that I earned $47,833.13 per year when I divorced the father on my two kids in 2005 – after his admission that he had been gay for 8 or 9 years. He made about $100K per year. I didn't want the child support agency involved as I preferred to keep this a private matter and keep the government out of our affairs. My ex didn't see it that way and had his lawyer demand an order be done. Despite this, I took less than the state recommendation and creeped by, financially. My ex then stopped paying anything. His excuse? Well, he said, he now has a new wife and two teenagers to support (her kids) and he has no money. (He needs a wife to keep face on the gay issue)

Now: When we got divorced, I took all the debt and we split the savings account of $30K. So we got $15K each. I could have split the debt, but didn't. I paid off all the debt (I can really cut back and run a budget), got a second job and did this all by myself. It took years. He, on the other hand, walked out free of debt, a good job, no order for child support, etc.

I have never once denied the father of my kids access to the kids. To this day, I continue to pay all the expenses of flying my youngest to see him, as he now lives out of state. The court wanted us to split those expenses, but once again, I took the responsibility.

Women don't get food stamps, assistance, free child care, lawyers or none of that stuff unless they are truly indigent. I should know, because I am a woman.

Another problem is these child support guidelines. It is hard for lower earning men to make those payments. This is because after the payments and taxes that they aren't given money to support their basic needs, at all. I have seen this in my personal life many, many times and I believe it is UNFAIR to those men and to any women stuck in the same position.

If I were you, I'd go after your ex and make her pay, if you can.

I'd also vote to put representatives in office that care and can fix the wrongs in our laws.

I'd also vote to have our tax burden reduced for many reasons: One of them being that it would make it easier for father's to pay their child support if they weren't getting taxed to high heaven!

I am sure, in your research, that you have read the kickbacks the states get for enforcing child support. It's HUGE. There is a financial incentive for the state to do this. And it's not pretty – all whilst forcing men like you into abject poverty.

As for me: I am a worker, always have been. I am smart. In 5 short years, my income went from $47,844.13 per year to $113K per year. I continue to go above and beyond for not only my children, but the two I support that aren't even mine. All women aren't as you describe. Only the lazy ones are and the states are making millions off of them in kick back money from the federal government.

I don't know what I can tell you beyond that. I guess for now, it's chuck up, and vote to change these terrible laws…oh, and take that woman to court, if you got the money.

Perhaps I am just old fashioned. My generation, the Baby Boomers and above, were taught to work, to be tough, and to stand on our own two feet even in the most dire of circustances.

About a month ago I was told that an old supervisor wanted to come back and that i was to train her on my job! the job i have been doing a fabulous job at (according to management)the job i have devoted many, many unpaid hours too and the job i once loved but now truly hate going to because of all the stuff i have put up with.

This is the 2nd manager I have had in this position. the first supervisor was so abusive that she was demoted and is now on her way out the door.

this current manager likes to tell pretty tales and promise you the sun, moon and stars only to no avail. I really loved my job until recently when i had to deal with all this drama again. I am so tired of all this crap.

I cannot leave until I find a different job and i have started the job hunt so hopefully it wont be too much longer. I know the grass is not always greener on the other side but i have taken so much crap from this place anything has to better than this!

Does anyone have any ideas on how to deal with this until i actually can leave? thanks so much!