Common Sense Ain't So Common

Kindergarten For Adults

2011-05-19T15:42:00.000-07:00

The past month or so we have discovered that a lot of the observations we make and the people we write about continue to do the same thing every single day; like walking four across on a sidewalk so people can’t get by or people not reading very obvious and specific signs. Therefore, we have decided to write only when we have observed new material.

This past weekend we observed a multitude of people who had lacked the simplest form of common sense; to the point of one adult talking to multiple adults with a kindergarten demeanor. A little background information on the past weekend includes that Zozo and I ran in a marathon relay this weekend and within the course were five exchange zones. The rules state that when you are ready to exchange to the next runner, it must be within the gated zone not forty yards in front of it or ten yards behind it. A simple rule to follow right!?! Well apparently that was a little bit too difficult for many to follow; especially after race volunteers told them at least ten times while I was standing there waiting for Zozo to tag me. People just continued to exchange forty yards in front of the zoned area. That was just the beginning! While all of that was going on, race volunteers had to tell people to move back so that runners could get through and not get interrupted by someone crowding the zone area and that the exchanges could occur hassle free. Not only did the race volunteers announce this multiple times but one with a microphone literally said, “If you cannot listen to simple instructions people, I will talk to you as if you were a bunch of kindergartners.” Yet, everyone continued to move forward; narrowing the exchange zone. Lastly, as more runners started to come in to tag their teammates, people were asked to stay on the curb so not only could people exchange without a hassle but so people could see if their teammate was coming. Yet, of course the majority of people did not listen and I could see the frustration in the volunteers eyes. I just stood their in complete frustration that so many adults could not follow easy instructions. It's time to go back to kindergarten to learn simple listening skills. These are the very people that have kids and their kids will grow up to be just as bad. Be afraid be very afraid!

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
Csaintsc@gmail.com

E Pluribus Unum

2011-04-12T12:30:00.000-07:00

One of the basics we learn while growing up is the currency of our country. Heck, we practiced writing checks in elementary school. Therefore, here in the USA we should know that we have paper money and metal coin money. We have dollar bills, five dollar bills, fifty dollar bills, etc.We have nickles, dimes, etc. Some less common currency we have are two dollar bills and dollar coins. People who use parking machines or public transportation get dollar coins back as change if they use five dollar bills or higher.

Last week I was in a store and witnessed a girl who was ringing up people having a bit of a problem taking a customers money. From where I'm standing I can see that the woman was trying to pay with some dollar coins. The girl behind the counter just stared at them and said, “ I don’t get it?” The lady who she was ringing up was from a foreign country, knew little English, with a heavy accent knew what these coins were and tried to explain that she got them from the light rail as change. The girl still didn't understand. I just stared in shock at the twenty something girl who was completely lost. Maybe if I wasn't so dumbfounded I would have jumped in and helped the girl. Finally, a sympathetic co-worker came over to help and explained that they were dollar coins. I suppose it's possible that this girl had never seen a dollar coin, but does that mean she can't read either. Right on the coin it says "ONE DOLLAR." The room just got a little brighter by the light bulb that went on in the girls heads at the realization that the dollar coin was actual money used by actual people here in good ol' Amerika.

Until next time,

Zozo and Leggy J

Csaintsc@gmail.com

'Stupidity has a knack of getting its way.' --Albert Camus

Just watch the video

2011-03-29T15:30:00.000-07:00

I will simply set this up with, just watch the video first. Or at least the first 60secs or so.

Wow, for once in my life, I'm actually speechless. How dumb do you have to be to A) break into someone's home then B) call the cops on yourself?!? Too bad the owners didn't own a gun and shot the guy out of self defense. That way this guy wouldn't procreate, cause heaven knows we don't need any more idiots like him. Here's a tip...A) Don't break into a house. B) If you do and you get caught, smash a window, run out the back, something, anything other than call the cops!

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
csaintsc@gmail.com

Water Tight?...I Think Not!

2011-03-22T13:05:00.000-07:00

Usually when I get an idea in my head, I test it out before I go through with it to see if it will work. However, not many people do that. Instead many people just do whatever they are planning to do and see the erroneous result; even if someone mentions that it probably wont work.

Style events are very common among retail stores. These events are held to get new customers in the door and to get more people to spend more money by offering free snacks, beverages and coupons from other stores and even sometimes these events have DJ’s. A great marketing idea really! Nonetheless, that is all well and good until there is a soaked table cloth and a puddle of water from melted ice!

It was the start of the day. The store opened at ten o’ clock and my managers (who I love to death) wanted to make the drinks look all fancy in ice in a clear plastic containers. Well these plastic containers are used to hold scarves and accessories. When they explained to me what they were planning to do., I immediately thought um those containers aren’t water tight. I told them they probably wouldn’t want to use those and that they would probably leak. Well ignoring my keen sense, they did it anyway. Thirty to forty-five minutes later, one of my managers comes back in a panic and screams my name. I answer and she explains that the entire table cloth is soaked and from the melted ice which GUESS WHAT…..leaked from the oh so surprising not water tight containers. All I could do was laugh my head off and give a big fat I TOLD YA SO!

Common sense tip of the week: Put a small size amount of water in a container to see if it leaks before you proceed to put it out among clothing that potentially could get soaked. Or listen to someone who has a pretty good idea that it probably won't work.

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
Csaintsc@gmail.com

Warning:

2011-03-16T07:41:00.000-07:00

I think we all remember back in the 90's when a woman spilled McDonalds coffee on herself and was burned. She then proceeded to sue the company, that's right sue McDonalds, for not warning her that her coffee was hot. Really...really? Honestly, I try not to think about how idiots minds work. Who in their right mind would complain that their COFFEE was HOT?!?

That said, of course the woman won and now anytime you get coffee from McDonalds there is a lovely warning label: Caution Contents May Be Hot. Thank you, I wouldn't have known without the warning. Here are some other absurd labels that forbes.com has discovered:

Jabra Drive 'N' Talk

Label: Never operate your speakerphone while driving.

Product: Jabra Drive 'N' Talk.

Peanuts

Label: This product may contain nuts.

Product: Peanuts & Peanut M&Ms.


Chainsaw

Label: Do not hold the wrong end of a chainsaw.

Product: Chainsaw.

Hair dryer

Label: Do not use while sleeping.

Product: Hair dryer.

Blow torch

Label: Contents may catch fire.

Product: Blow torch gas bottle.

Sun shade

Label: Do not drive with sun shield in place.

Product: Reflective cardboard sun shades for car dashboards.

Eggs

Label: This product may contain eggs.

Product: A carton of eggs.

Nytol sleeping pills

Label: May cause drowsiness.

Product: Nytol sleeping pills.

Staples's letter opener

Label: Safety goggles recommended.

Product: Staples's letter opener.

Vanishing Marker

Label: The Vanishing Fabric Marker should not be used as a writing instrument for signing checks or any legal documents.

Product: W.H. Collins' Vanishing Fabric Markers.

Jet Ski

Label: Never use a lit match or open flame to check fuel level.

Product: Jet Ski.

Washing machine

Label: Do not put any person in this washer.

Product: Huebsch Washing Machine.

Dremel Multipro rotary tools

Label: This product is not intended for use as a dental drill.

Product: Dremel Multipro rotary tools.

Apple's iPod shuffle

Label (on website): Do not eat.

Product: Apple's iPod shuffle.

Bialetti Casa Italiana's nonstick pans

Label: Keep pet birds out of the kitchen when using this product.

Product: Bialetti Casa Italiana's nonstick pans.

My personal favorite, is the carton of eggs, "This product may contain eggs." Watch out, eggs that...wait for it, wait for it, contain.....EGGS! Haha, What is this world coming to?

Until Next Time,

Zozo and Leggy J

csaintsc@gmail.com

article: http://shopping.yahoo.com/articles/yshoppingarticles/553/25-stunningly-dumb-warning-labels/

Up!

2011-02-28T13:18:00.001-08:00

Living in the great state of Colorado, many of us have the opportunity to regularly enjoy outdoor winter activities, such as skiing, snowboarding, etc. Which of course means this weeks story comes from a man in Wyoming.

JACKSON HOLE, Wyo., Feb. 21 (UPI) -- Officials with a Wyoming ski resort said no charges will be filed against a 78-year-old man arrested while trying to ski uphill.

Jackson Hole Mountain Resort officials said Ronald Fleck was arrested Feb. 5 after ski patrol members spent 3 1/2 hours attempting to convince the man to turn around while he was trying to ski uphill to watch his granddaughter's ski race, the Jackson Hole Daily reported Monday.

Fleck was arrested on suspicion of trespass, interference, unsafe skiing and theft of services. However, Jerry Blann, president of the Jackson Hole Mountain Resort, said no charges will be pressed.

"Once he was removed, the safety issue, which was our primary concern, was removed," Blann said Friday.

Teton County Sheriff Jim Whalen said his department is dropping the matter.

"Pretty much from the beginning of this thing, we didn't see any reason to move forward with the criminal prosecution," he said. "We're fine with it."

Skiing uphill, that's a new one. Wouldn't gravity be your first clue that you should be going downhill. And if not downhill, then simply across. But up? I would wear myself out trying to get up a hill on skis, not to mention I would have given up after an hour, max. But three and a half attempted hours of uphill skiing? He must have a lot of time on his hands. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just take the ski lift up? I'll try to give this guy a break and chalk this one up to senility, seeing as he is 78.

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
csaintsc@gmail.com

'The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.' --Harlan Ellison
http://dalje.com/en-world/no-charges-for-uphill-skier/341322

You Can't Have Chips Without The Salsa!

2011-02-15T12:31:00.000-08:00

I have never worked in the restaurant industry but I imagine it to be very similar to retail; having to deal with people and pretty much catering to the patrons every need. It also proves that the lack of common sense lingers pretty much in every job category known to man. The simplest of things seem to difficult for some.

I went to dinner with a friend of mine and we had ordered one of my favorite things to eat, chips and salsa. After we had both ate our dinner we couldn’t stomach another chip so I decided to take the yummy delicious left over chips and salsa home. When the waitress came by to take our plates out of the way, I asked if we could get a box for the left over chips and salsa while even using a circling hand motion above the scrumptious delicacy; concluding that I wanted all of it. Hence the general question of, “Can I get a box for the leftovers.” The waitress comes back with just a bag for the chips and proceeds to ask if I wanted a container for the salsa as well. Really?!?! Who wants to take home plain old tortilla chips without the salsa for one and two isn’t the salsa part of the leftovers that I so conveniently implied by making hand motions above the entire basket? Either this place is really stingy about giving their salsa away or the waitress is just a plain moron. I presume it’s the second statement.

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
Csaintsc@gmail.com

It Takes "All Types"

2011-02-08T13:11:00.000-08:00

This weeks blog is brought to you by a follower of Common Sense Ain’t So Common. Not only has this follower experienced it but I have as well.

Most, if not all Post Offices have their own outdoor mailboxes and usually there are a row of them. Each one has a specific label on them pertaining to specific types of letters and usually one for “all types“; you know in case one gets too full. Well as this person is driving through to drop off some mail, a car in front of her goes to the mail box that is spewing out mail like it was a baby spitting up its’ food. The individual proceeds to try and stuff their own mail among the paper vomit instead of the open box right next to it that is labeled “all types.” The individual is taking the time to try and rearrange the paper puke so that their own mail will fit while the person behind her is thinking, “What the heck! Just go to the next mail box.” Another 15 seconds goes by and the individual is STILL trying to cram their mail in the full box while the “all types” box is staring the ignoramus right in the face. Finally, they give up on moving other fellow imbeciles mail to make their own fit perfectly and just leaves it the way it was and takes off. The car behind finally got to put their own mail in the “all types” box due to the fact that the one she was going to put it in was full!!! Go figure!

Common Sense Tip of The Week:

Just because everyone else does it, doesn’t mean you should follow because most likely it’s done without common sense.

Until next time,

Zozo and Leggy J

csaintsc@gmail.com

Let me get this straight

2011-02-01T07:30:00.000-08:00

This weeks story comes from a friend of mine. He was a foreign exchange student my senior year of high school.

When I first got to a high school a kid came up to me and said, "So, I heard you were from Sweden."
I replied, "Yes."
His next question was, "What language do you speak in Sweden?"
I naturally said, "Swedish."
He paused for a while then asked, "So, do you speak Swedish?"
I hesitated...
(Wait for it)
(Wait for it)
(Wait for it)

"Yes."

Let me get this straight, Swedish is spoken in Sweden. Does that mean they speak Spanish in Spain? And German in Germany? Come on people, pay attention in school. And if you don't, use your common sense! Not to mention the fact that he had to ask if a person from Sweden spoke the language. In addition, most people from Europe speak several languages.

Until Next Time,
Zozo and Leggy J
csaintsc@gmail.com

"There is such a thing as a dumb question when common sense isn't present"

I didn't know I had one........

2011-01-18T14:56:00.000-08:00

As we enter the 10^th year post 9/11, we should all know by now that when you go to the airport, security will be all up in your space bubble. It’s a given. A group of people have ruined it for everyone causing security at the airport to never be the same. The minute it becomes lax again, another terrorist attack will inevitably happen. Therefore going to the airport with any sort of weapon on you will land your dumb butt in jail; rightfully so for two specific reasons. One, for being stupid enough to do it in the first place. And two, for thinking you could get away with it in the see through security scanners!

Flier headed to Cuba held after gun found. Miami, Florida

A man headed to Cuba has been arrested at Miami International Airport after security screeners said they found a loaded gun in his fanny pack. Miami-Dade Police arrested 48-year-old Juan Manuel Baldoquin of West Palm Beach on charges of carrying a concealed weapon and grand theft of a firearm. He was being held on $10,000 bail.

Detective Javier Baez said a Transportation Security Administration screener spotted the outline of a gun while X-raying Baldoquin’s bag.

Baez said Baldoquin claimed he had forgotten the gun was in the bag. The gun had been reported stolen in 1996, and it was unclear why Baldoquin was carrying it.

Now, we don’t know about you, but this guy should get “STUPID” tattooed on his forehead for thinking that nothing would happen to him while carrying a gun through airport security. And for wearing a fanny pack; what is this, 1987? Who carries fanny packs now-a-days? Let’s be realistic here, he knew all along he had a loaded gun in his fanny pack. Guns aren’t feathers people.

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
Csaintsc@gmail.com

The Denver Post (12/18/2010)

“Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.” - Ana Teresa

Get out there and Vote!

2011-01-12T09:03:00.000-08:00

This weeks blog is dedicated to an awesome lady; my grandma Dorothy, who passed away last week at the age of 87. She was a follower of Common Sense Ain't So Common. I know she got a kick out of our blog because she was a complete smart-ass and realist herself. She would tell you like it was, be as blunt as she could be and was respected for it even though it might not have been something you wanted to hear. In the end she was completely right. I love and miss you Grams. Leggy J

With 2010 over that means...you guessed it, all the nominees for the Darwin Awards are in. Head on over to www.darwinawards.com to read the top contenders and cast your votes. Our two personal favorites are Textbook Double Darwin and Glacier Erasure.

Textbook Double Darwin:

Who would park the car on a busy freeway in heavy fog, for a quickie?

That's the whole picture: A young couple, driving along Via Dutra, the largest freeway in Brazil with tons of heavy traffic, at 6AM under heavy fog. The couple decided that this was the time to park (for "dating" according to the charming Google translation) and, yes, they parked on the freeway in the right-hand lane, not on the shoulder, the median, or at a gas station. Naturally, given time a cargo truck encountered a "speed bump," instantly killing both -- during the act of procreation -- double-double Darwin Award! (2) people making (2) obviously bad decisions, and natural selection acts at the very moment the two are reproducing. Textbook!

Bahahaha, apparently the urge hit so hard that they had to stop mid lane to get it on. The least they could have done is pulled over to the shoulder. But I suppose if they had, there is a good chance that they would have had a baby. And if you are not smart enough to know that STOPPING on any highway is a bad idea, then you shouldn't be allowed to raise a child. What are you gonna teach the kid...that it's a-o-k to put your hand in a fire (reference to last week's blog). Clearly these two weren't meant to procreate and we are thankful for that!

Glacier Erasure:

Another account from the archives of a 30-year ER MD.

In the late fall and early winter months, snow-covered mountains become infested with hunters. One ambitious pair climbed high up a mountain in search of their quarry. The trail crossed a small glacier that had crusted over. The lead hunter had to stomp a foot-hold in the snow, one step at a time, in order to cross the glacier.
Somewhere near the middle of the glacier, his next stomp hit not snow but a rock. The lead hunter lost his footing and fell. Down the crusty glacier he zipped, off the edge and out of sight.

Unable to help, his companion watched him slide away. After a while, he shouted out, "Are you OK?"

"Yes!" came the answer.

Reasoning that it was a quick way off the glacier, the second hunter plopped down and accelerated down the ice, following his friend. There, just over the edge of the glacier, was his friend...holding onto the top of a tree that barely protruded from the snow.

There were no other treetops nearby, nothing to grab, nothing but a hundred-foot drop onto the rocks below. As the second hunter shot past the first, he uttered his final epitaph: a single word, which we may not utter lest our mothers soap our mouths.

Hmmm, I'm standing on a cliff, my buddy just fell off, I ask if he is ok, he says yes, so......JUMP! For all those with common sense, let's rewind this scenario. I'm standing on a cliff, my buddy just fell off, I ask if he is ok, he says yes. "What do you see?" "Can you move?" "Can you get back up?" "How can I help?" "Should I go get help?" Any variations of these questions should come to mind. But then we wouldn't have been stupid enough to jump off a cliff either, thus ridding the world of yet another barnacle head.

So what have we learned today?

1) Don't stop in the middle of the highway.
2) Don't jump off a cliff because someone tells you they are ok.

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
csaintsc@gmail.com

"Look before you leap."

Cleaning While Lit

2011-01-03T20:07:00.000-08:00

We are back!!!! We hope that everyone had a great holiday season and now it's time for more ridiculousness.

The person in this story has got to be one of the dumbest morons we have ever read about, which is why we have picked it for our first entry of the new year.

Cleaning lit fireplace lands man in hospital. Colorado Springs

A man who tried to clean his natural gas fireplace while it was still lit, nearly roasted himself over an open fire. He was hospitalized with second degree burns.
Colorado Springs fire authorities say the unnamed man received facial burns after using an aerosol cleaner on the lit fireplace. Three other people inside the house weren't injured.

Ah, did anyone else learn that aerosol cleaners are highly flammable? I mean, that is something we learned at the ripe old age of two. And if you didn't learn that, did the giant highly flammable symbol not mean anything? (Just in case, by some off chance, you have never seen the symbol, below we have included a picture) How is this man impervious to the fact that AEROSOL is highly FLAMMABLE?!? One other thing, why on earth would anyone in their right mind think, "Hey, while I've got this hot, burning fire going, I might clean the fireplace." Maybe he noticed how dirty it was with all the light emanating from the fire. We don't know about all of you, but he is a parasite of the human race. The lack of common sense in this man is completely and utterly baffling. If this man has proliferated, Lord help us all. We are taking donations to get him a vasectimy asap! If this guy isn't the epitome of stupidity, we don't know what is.

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
csaintsc@gmail.com

Story: The Denver Post, (12/18/2010)
Picture: explainthatstuff.com

Shopping Pandemonium

2010-12-23T20:54:00.000-08:00

    Common sense or lack there of reared it’s ugly head today. As we are only a day away from Christmas, most people should have the majority of their holiday shopping done, right? Wrong! I included had to pick up some last minute gifts and apparently the rest of the state of Colorado did to. However, before I even left the house, I remembered the first round of public service announcements and took all of them into consideration. Particularly PSA #1: Before you even leave the house to go shopping, evaluate all the people on your list, consider that there are many others doing the same and allow yourself the proper amount of shopping time. Running into a store on your way home from and working yourself into a tizzy over the long lines is not good for the heart. Therefore, I evaluated what I needed so I could get in and get out.

       As I got to the mall, I luckily found parking right away due to the plethora of open spaces. I thought, nice there isn’t that many people here. Boy was I wrong! I totally underestimated the amount of people and it suddenly occurred to me that there are a lot of different parking sections surrounding this colossal structure which I like to call, “retail pandemonium.”

      You know I am all for people spending money and feeding the economy; especially in these hard times but do we really have to do it at a turtles pace? I can’t stand when people walk slower than molasses. It’s like that one car who causes a traffic jam because he is driving in the passing lane 20 mph slower than the actual speed limit. The same concept applies to public venues. Now, I am not saying everyone has to shop like speed racers but when an abundant amount of people are in such a venue, it is quite pertinent to keep a steady flow. Apparently, these people are some kind of special; borderline kings and queens and possibly even presidents and apparently, they won’t walk unless the red carpet is rolled out for them.

Common sense tip #1: Please be considerate of others when shopping and remember that there are hundreds of people trying to shop as well. Therefore, please walk at a considerable pace in which to avoid a people jam.

         When I am making my way down the mall I find it impossible to walk without having to dodge in and out of humans, a.k.a turtles. It’s bad enough to have to swivel in and out of moving obstacles but it’s even more annoying when a group of people notice that they know each other and stop and start talking in the dead center of traffic flow. Now, it’s totally understandable that running into people you know happens, especially at a mall and at around the holidays. It even happened to me today, but once again there are other people to take into consideration.

Common sense tip #2: When running into people you know in public venues, please don’t block traffic flow and move your mini soirée to the side. People who don’t move like turtles will thank you.

        Lastly, the thing that was really annoying today was the large families or groups of eight friends taking up the whole mall isle so others couldn’t get around. I completely understand that people want to shop with their families and or friends but once again there are other patrons to consider. I myself or others shouldn’t have to be blocked from getting to where I need to get to, just so Jim Bob’s family of five can walk side by side; causing yet another people jam. Which brings me to my last common sense tip of the day.

Common sense tip #3: If it’s necessary that the entire family or a group of friends must go shopping together, please pair up with a sibling or a buddy and stay to the far right so that other people can pass you if needed.

Needless to say, I did not get in and out of the mall today. Turtles thinking they are presidents, mini soirees and moving walls cost me and others precious time that we will never get back. It's time for the elimination of ignorance.

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
csaintsc@gmail.com

"A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell."
George Bernard Shaw

Holiday PSA's Round 2

2010-12-20T08:21:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the delay, with the holiday's in full swing, time just seems to be racing by. Fortunately with another round of PSA's we've been able to keep calm...

PSA #1

Kill two birds with one stone, water your Christmas tree and do not place in front of an exit. Otherwise, your tree will ignite while leaving you trapped in the house.

PSA #2

Another place you should not place your tree is in front of the fireplace. If there is no other option in your home and you must, don't, I repeat, DON'T use your fireplace until after Christmas when your tree has been removed and the needles cleaned up.

PSA #3

When decorating the exterior of your house, do not walk on an icy roof, over-reach on a ladder, steady yourself on the gutters, or use any other hanging method that seems dangerous (This is where common sense should kick in). Doing any of these will result in a fall and could lead to impending death.

PSA #4

Please, no matter how much you dislike your family, or in-laws, try not to get wasted off eggnog or peppermint schnapps. One or two should be enough to take the edge off. No one likes a sloppy drunk on Christmas, knocking down the tree, opening the kids gifts, shouting obscenities, etc.

PSA #5

Next time the creep at the Holiday party tries to hang mistletoe over your head, politely say, "Did you know that Mistletoe is the common name for a parasitic poisonous plant that can cause stomach pain and diarrhea along with a low pulse?"

PSA #6

For those with larger families and cooped up in one house together, be considerate of each other and keep the opening and presentation of each individual present to a minute and a half, max. Let's be honest, no one really cares what you got!

PSA#7

Once the holiday festivities are over, take down your decorations in a timely manner. No one wants to be preparing for the Easter Bunny in a neighborhood where Santa the eye sore is singing ho-ho-ho from the rooftops.

Following any or all of these should lead to a stress-free happy holiday for you and all those around you. Thank you for your time. Happy Holidays.

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
csaintsc@gmail.com

Doing this leads to this --->

http://www.christmaslightsetc.com/pages/Hanging-Christmas-Lights.htm

Holiday PSA

2010-12-06T18:34:00.000-08:00

With the holiday shopping season in full swing and black Friday over it should go without saying, but clearly must be said...the crazies are out in full force this season. So we'd like to take the time for several Public Service Announcements (PSA).

PSA #1

Before you even leave the house to go shopping, evaluate all the people on your list, consider that there are many others doing the same and allow yourself the proper amount of shopping time. Running into a store on your way home from and working yourself into a tizzy over the long lines is not good for the heart.

PSA #2

Consider that there are many people trying to shop for the holidays, is it really a good idea to take your three screaming hungry kids with you -OR- should you perhaps go without them?

PSA #3

When looking for a parking space, realize that many are looking for spaces as well and with the cumbersome amount of food you are about to partake in, it may be a good idea to park at the far end of the parking lot. This will keep you out of the way of other crazy drivers who HAVE to park close and with the long walk you are sure to keep those pounds off.

PSA #4

Once inside the door and making your way up and down the isles, don't park your shopping cart perpendicular to the selves making the isle impassible. Please tuck your cart parallel to the shelves, next to where you are looking ensuring others to move freely down the isle.

PSA #5

Upon heading to check out, again realize that there are many others in line as well. Just pick a line, they will all take time. Perhaps while waiting, read a magazine or a book. Play a game on your phone. Call a relative or friend you haven't talked to in a while and catch up. Dare I go so far as to say...talk to others around you.

PSA #6

Still in line, may I make a friendly holiday suggestion. Spread the holiday cheer and if the person behind you is purchasing one/two items and you have a cart full, perhaps let them go ahead of you.

PSA #7

Well there is no number seven, because at this point you should be out of the store and headed home with all your wonderfully thought out gifts. And if you have listened to any of the PSA's to holiday shopping, you will be nice and relaxed. So much that a nice cup of eggnog while wrapping gifts is just what the holidays ordered.

Thank you for your time. Happy Shopping.

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
csaintsc@gmail.com

"Common sense is genius dressed in it's working clothes." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanksgiving Blunder!

2010-11-25T21:01:00.000-08:00

Since it is Thanksgiving here in America, we would like to talk about the lack of common sense that always seems to creep up during the holiday season. Before we get to the story, we would like to make a shout out to the Colorado Rapids for winning the MLS Cup. For those of you who don't know what that stands for, it stands for Major League Soccer. Wooohoooo!!!!!

Here we go and prepare to laugh!

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.
When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.

When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

Now, I don't know about you but when we were in kindergarten, we learned that mammals give live birth and reptiles and birds lay EGGS. In fact, we both distinctly remember as little kids seeing a birds nest, looking inside and seeing little round things called "eggs." Then one day going back to the nest, looking in and seeing three little featherless babies chirping their heads off. So it is to my shock and dismay that an adult was distraught over having cooked a "pregnant" turkey.

These turkeys have more common sense than some human beings!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Until next time,

Zozo and Leggy J

csaintsc@gmail.com

Story: http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977490169
Comic: Farside

Red means STOP!

2010-11-19T08:51:00.000-08:00

For this weeks story I would like to reiterate the importance of not rushing to get where you need to be. Also, I would like to make a point in stating that driving is a privilege and not a right and therefore, common sense should tell you that there are some things that you really shouldn't do while driving!

As I was on my way to Boulder to visit a friend, I was in the left turn lane to enter the highway. The people who are making a right turn to enter the high way have a yield sign. Now to my understanding once I get the green left arrow, I get to turn and the people making a right have to stop and yield to me. Well, let me tell you! As I am making my left turn, on my GREEN ARROW, this “special” person, who probably thinks they have the right of way because they are especially important, continues on making their right turn like they didn’t even see the light change forcing me to slam on my brakes. This has happened to me multiple times by your Average Joe, but this person in particular must have been a "special" kind of "special."

Now when things like that happen, I know I should just blow it off. But I am sooooo annoyed that yet another dumb dumb has infected the gene pool. As I pass this "special" person I give them a complete, total, 100% focused on them, burn a hole through your forehead, "Yes, I'm glaring at you" stare down. Call it what you will. I hear “road rage” is quite expressive for this kind of behavior, plus it’s only a harmless stare. It’s not like I am going to ram into the side of their car like some poorly written, cop with a bad mustache 1960’s street race movie. So as I pass this "special" person I notice it's a female and she is putting on her make-up while driving down the highway like nothing happened, giving us all a bad wrap for being bad drivers. It appeared she was in a hurry, yet didn't care if she caused an accident, potentially killing someone. Putting on make-up is clearly more important than someone’s life, especially mine. Since she lacks common sense, my advice to her and to others who lack it, leave a little earlier so you can do your make-up at your destination or give yourself enough time to do it before you leave, because life is way more important than trying to make yourself at least a 7. My only hope is that when she does get in an accident, that the police officers and EMTs are hot, and they will think she looks hot, because after all, she did her make-up cruising down the highway at 85mph.

Feel free to email us with your personal stories, pictures and or quotes at csaintsc@gmail.com

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J

"I can never fear that things will go far wrong where common sense has fair play" - Thomas Jefferson

Round 2...

2010-11-16T08:13:00.000-08:00

As we mentioned last week, over the coming weeks we will be looking back at the past Darwin awards. Here is 2008...

Third Place, Pining Away:

Rare Double Darwin!

Three hale and hearty young men had finished their basic training. Before heading out to their respective assignments, they decided to spend their few days of leave with one's grandmother, who lived in the town where they had completed basic training. The privates descended upon Grandmother, who filled them with home cooking and gave them soft beds to sleep in. Grandmother had a swing job to make ends meet, so the privates were left alone late into the night. How could they repay her for her kindness?

Grandmother had three children. To commemorate the birth of each child, a pine tree had been planted in the front yard. In the fifty years since the last tree was planted, the pines had grown considerably, and the middle tree now blocked the view from the living room window. The privates decided that they would cut down that tree, letting the sun and the view into the room.

A case of beer went into the planning. (Just a side note: I have a sneaking suspicion that many stories start like this, or end, depending on how you look at it.)

To keep the 50-foot tree from crushing the house, the privates reasoned that they would tie a rope to the top of the tree and pull the rope away from the house as the tree was cut. The middle pine tree, the doomed one, was slightly closer to the house than the other two. The privates climbed an end tree, wound a rope through its upper branches, and threw the rope to a private in the middle tree. He tied the rope around the trunk. By this device, they could pull the rope from the ground. The middle pine tree would fall away from the house, and the privates were also clear of the path of the falling tree. Climbing a pine tree is very sappy work, and scrapes and gouges are inflicted by the natural roughness of its bark. But the hale and hearty privates completed the preliminaries without complaint. The middle tree was lassoed and levered by the rope running through the end tree. So far, so good.

Two privates were situated on the ground, each straining to pull the tree away from Grandmother's house. The third private revved his 20 HP chainsaw and started to cut. Lo and behold, the tree actually fell away from Grandmother's house! However...The rope-pulling privates had wrapped the rope around their waists, not considering that the falling pine weighed several tons. As the middle pine tree fell, both privates were ripped off their feet and smashed through the branches of the end pine tree. At the height of their acceleration, they broke through the top branches of the tree, and were briefly airborne before being jerked toward the earth when the middle tree hit the ground. The privates entered into Darwin history, either on the way up through the branches or on the way down to the cold, hard ground. The event spoke for itself.

The runner-up, Boner!

(2 February 2008, New York) A 50-year-old man was bird hunting in Upstate New York with his buddies and his faithful canine companion. They stopped for a smoke, and his dog found a deer leg bone!

The man tried to take the bone away, but like any right thinking dog, the animal would not relinquish its treasure. He stayed just out of reach. Frustrated with this blatant show of disobedience, the man grabbed his loaded shotgun by the muzzle and began wielding it like a club. Each time he swung it, the dog dodged. Suddenly the "club" struck the ground and fired, shooting the man in the abdomen. He was airlifted to a nearby hospital, where he died from his injuries. He did remain conscious long enough to confirm this account to police; otherwise, his poor friends might now be under suspicion!

At least he didn't hit the dog.

And the winner, Priest Visits Boss:

(20 April 2008, Atlantic Ocean) A Catholic priest recently ascended to heaven on a helium host of party balloons, paying homage to Lawnchair Larry's aerial adventure. In 1982, Lawnchair Larry attached 45 weather balloons to his lawnchair, packed a picnic lunch, and cut the tether--but instead of drifting above Los Angeles as planned, he was rocketed into LAX air traffic lanes by the lift of the balloons! Astoundingly, Larry survived the flight, inspiring the movies Up! and Deckchair Danny, and Adelir Antonio, 51.

This priest's audacious attempt to set a world record for clustered balloon flight was intended to publicize his plan to build spiritual rest stops for truckers. But as truckers know, sitting for 19 hours is not a trivial matter even in the comfort of your own lawn chair. The priest did take numerous precautions, including wearing a survival suit, flying a buoyant chair, and packing a satellite phone and GPS. However, the late A.A. made a fatal mistake.

He did not know how to use the GPS.

The winds changed, as winds do, and he was blown inexorably toward open sea. He could have parachuted to safety while over land but chose not to. When the voyager was perilously lost at sea, he finally phoned for help--but rescuers were unable to determine his location since he could not use his GPS. He struggled with the unit as the charge on the cellphone dwindled and died.

Instead of a GPS, the Priest let God be his guide.

Over the next few weeks, bits of balloons began appearing on mountains and beaches, indicating that God had guided him straight to heaven. Ultimately the priest's body surfaced, confirming that he had indeed paid a visit to his boss. The kicker? It's a Double Darwin. Catholic priests take vows of celibacy. Since priests voluntarily remove themselves from the genepool, the entire group earns a mass Darwin Award. Adelir Antonio wins twice!

Two Double Darwin's in the top three, classic. Although, could someone please explain the title of the runner-up?

Until Next Time,
Zozo and Leggy J
csaintsc@gmail.com

"Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done." - Harriet Elizabeth Beecher Stowe

Common Sense Note to Self

2010-11-12T14:56:00.000-08:00

Number one pet peeve, okay not number one but really high on the list...coming to a complete and total stop on the highway. I'm talking 0mph, I could put the car in park, I'm not going anywhere.

This has happened on several of my drives northbound I-25, Lincoln to Orchard. I understand that at 7:30 am we are all trying to get where we are going and no one wants to be late. But what I don't understand is the incessant rudeness of some people. For example, riding my bumper is a sign that you would like to be going faster than said slow pace, because like a fool, you left late. Not my fault, however, in traffic I cannot go faster. I cannot get out of the way. There is nothing you can do to make anyone go faster, so stop with the rectal exam already! Another example, it's a proven fact that weaving in and out of traffic does not get you where you are going any faster, so pick a freaking lane. I'm fairly certain that if I notice you right behind me, get over one lane, and then proceed to try to get back over in front of me, I'm not letting you in. It's one car. You will live. You will not get there any faster than if you were behind me. And now, the queen gem of my morning drive....merging. Now I'm one to always let people over. As aforementioned, we are all trying to get where we are going. No one is on the road at 7:30 am rush hour just to "create more traffic." That is not the time of day one chooses for a joy ride. So like a good and patient person, I allow others to merge on and off the highway. I expect the same courtesy. Which brings me to my story...

Like so many of us, this fine Thursday morning I was running late. I had just made my morning tea, only to realize that both of my tumblers were dirty and in the dishwasher. Grabbing the first mug from the cabinet, I filled up and was out the door. Knowing I was already going to be a few minutes late, I still went slow and allowed people to merge, because like I said, I'm not getting there any faster by being a jerk on the road. I would venture to say that I was most likely being a bit overcautious this drive, as not wanting to spill my tea was high priority. About half way through my tea I am now only one exit away from work. When out of nowhere, the left lane, comes some SUV (who is more important than me, going somewhere more important than me) who throws on their blinker and moves on over into my lane. Before I know what's happening I am forced to SLAM on my brakes...tea e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e. All over my pants, shirt, steering wheel, even makes it to the windshield. I suppose it's alright though because no one was hurt, no accident. (yes, that was sarcasm) And let's not forget, the SUV did use their blinker, so everything is hunky dory. No harm, no foul, except that I have tea all over my pants, shirt, steering wheel and the windshield.

*Common sense note to self, no matter how late you are running, always, ALWAYS take the time to wash the tumbler. So when idiot SUV decides they just have to cut you off, tea stay safely contained and clothes and car stay dry.

Lesson learned. For those of you wondering, I no longer take the highway. Quebec all the way. So when I stop, it's at a light and not because people don't know how to drive in rush hour. My blood pressure thanks me for this.

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
csaintsc@gmail.com

And the Award Goes to...

2010-11-08T13:30:00.000-08:00

We’d like to take this opportunity to begin looking at the Darwin Awards. A genius idea in our humble opinions. “The Darwin Awards commemorate the improvement of the human species by honoring those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. (The Award is generally bestowed posthumously.) After fifteen years of fatal reports, Darwin Awards insiders no longer stand on rolling chairs near windows, disable safety features on common household tools, nor wire electricity in the rain. Read these stories--for safety's sake!" –Wendy Northcutt, www.darwinawards.com

The following story, Crushing Debt, is the winner of 2009:

Double Darwin!

(26 September 2009, Belgium) The city of Dinant is the backdrop for this rare Double Darwin Award. Two bank robbers attempting to make a sizeable withdrawal from an ATM died when they overestimated the quantity of dynamite needed for the explosion. The blast demolished the building the bank was housed in. Nobody else was in the building at the time of the attack.

Robber One was rushed to the hospital with severe head trauma; he died shortly after arrival. Investigators initially assumed that his accomplice had managed a getaway, but the second burglar's body was excavated from the debris twelve hours later. Would-be Robbers One and Two weren't exactly impoverished--their getaway car was a BMW. Comments from the readers:

"Dynamite: not for everything."
"Less is certainly more."
"Debit cards are safer."
"They really blew it..."
"Extreme Self Banking"

Here is the 2009 runner-up, Double Dip:

(3 June 2009, North Carolina) Greensboro was inundated with four inches of pouring rain in two hours, stranding several cars on flooded roads. Rosanne T., 50, was not deterred. She hopped on her moped and drove to a convenience store where she "possibly had a beer," according to her mother, before deciding to blunder home through the storm. She phoned home to say, "My moped has two rubber wheels, Mom, I'll be fine." North Carolina does not require a license to own a moped.
Ms. T. had acquired hers two years previously after a DUI conviction. The Highway Patrol had blocked off several roads that were inundated with water, including Rosanne's path home. But she rode right past the officer and the barriers, lost control of her vehicle, and fell into the swollen creek below. The officer retrieved rope from his vehicle and proceeded to haul her from the water.

He then interviewed the woman, probably inquiring about her motivation for speeding through a roadblock during a flash flood. When the officer returned to his patrol car to call for assistance, Rosanne took the opportunity to escape--by jumping back into the creek! The officer attempted to rescue her again, but alas, it was too late. The victim's mother speculated that her daughter's motivation for jumping into a flooded creek was to rescue her drowning moped. "She loved that thing."

And my personal favorite from 2009, Muffled Explosion:

(10 January 2009, Pennsylvania) An embarrassed and seriously injured 17-year-old initially claimed that an explosive had been planted in his backpack by persons unknown. However, police investigators soon extracted the truth from the feckless teen.
He found an M-80 explosive at his grandmother's house, took it to his room to examine it, and began to repeatedly light and extinguish the fuse. During one of these cycles the fuse would not go out, so he jammed the red cardboard tube between his thighs and covered it with his hand to muffle the explosion. This plan was less successful than he had hoped. Commonly thought to be a quarter stick of dynamite, M80's (according to pyrouniverse.com) actually contain flash powder rather than TNT, and only 1/50 the amount--just under 3 grams. Used by the U.S. Military to simulate grenade explosions, M80's were outlawed in 1966 under the Child Protection Act. They are not safe enough to be detonated by the average man on the average street, let alone by the average 17-year-old. One loud KABOOM! later, our junior pyrotechnics specialist had lost his right hand, right leg, and--very likely--his right to reproduce, earning him a living Darwin Award.

Wow, I'm practically speechless. The thought process of this guy was to put a stick of dynamite between his legs to muffle the sound? I suppose that sounds reasonable except for the fact that it's dynamite between your legs! I'd like to send him a thank you, as he has proved that he should NOT be having children, and now he can't. Unfortunately I can't say the same to his parents for producing a child and not teaching him that dynamite between your legs is a bad idea. Over the coming weeks we will continue to look at past Darwin Awards, in anticipation for the 2010 awards. Somehow with these people removed from the gene pool, the stories keep rolling in, thus proving that stupidity finds a way.

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J

"Just think how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are even stupider!" - George Carlin

Ladder.......What's that?

2010-11-01T20:55:00.000-07:00

My temporary (hopefully) time working in retail has really opened my eyes. I can truly distinguish between the capable and the dense. I'm not talking about just the customers that come into the store that don't know how to do basic math, but some of my co-workers really have illustrated the stupidity that has influenced Zozo and I to start this blog.

Let's get to it.

While I realize that you don't need a college degree to work in retail, I would hope that people have some type of brain capacity to do simple tasks; like being able to find an item in the back room that isn't currently out on the floor. Which brings me to my story. I have to give this co-worker credit, she was able to locate an item in the back room. However, all the credit I gave her went out the window after what she had asked me. After finishing my main project in the back room early, I decided I would re-organize the mess that my wonderful co-workers generously left me. On a side note I’d like to give you some info on the back room. There are racks called "lundias." Lundias are 15 foot mobile devices that contain upper and lower levels of shelves and racks that hold back stock of clothing and accessories. At the end of these lundias are four, yes I said FOUR ladders! Back to the story, as I was refolding the messed up piles of shirts, my co-worker comes to the back room to look for a size. She locates it on the upper rack. Now my next thought would be to go get a ladder, get the size down and take it out to the customer. Does she do this? Nooo, she comes up to me and asks, "How do I get up to the top shelves to get that jacket down?" Pause. I just stared at her. I was so dumbfounded by her question that the image of myself with my jaw dropped to the floor looking at her expressionless popped into my mind. As I snapped back to reality, in a monotone voice I said to her, "get a ladder."

Imagine someone standing next to a pencil sharpener and asking how to sharpen their pencil. Standing next to a ladder, you ask how to get to a high point. I think the only thing that would have topped off this little gem would be if she asked how to use a ladder. I’m not sure what else to do other than shake my head. Good ol’ retail. Can’t live without it, can’t shoot it.

"Stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed." - Don Wood

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J

Quote: http://www.best-quotes-poems.com/common-sense-quotes.html

Repeat After Me

2010-10-25T13:08:00.000-07:00

This next story comes to us from a dear friend of mine. I simply couldn't resist to share it with you. She is a teacher for 9th grade English.

As I explained the directions for the test my ninth graders were about to begin, I told them that the first nineteen questions were multiple choice and they needed only write the letter to the correct answer on the answer sheet. For the last question, I asked them to pick any story we read and give it a label (make an inference or judgment about the story). Then, they needed to provide three details from the story to support that assertion. To make sure the students understood, I used the movie we had recently watched as an example. We said that Stranger than Fiction was a funny movie. We then gave these three examples: he yells at the sky trying to figure out who is talking, a giant machine takes a bite out of his apartment while he watches tv, and he gives the baker he has a crush on a box of flours (not flowers). I reiterated that they should not use the movie as their example, but they should pick one of the stories or poems instead. I then had a student repeat that to me. When it seemed like a few students were not quite listening, I had the whole class repeat after me:
"I will not use the movie as my example on my test," ("I will not use the movie as my example on my test,")
"If I use the movie as my example, I will receive a zero," ("If I use the movie as my example, I will receive a zero,")
"I will not only receive a zero on the question, but on the entire test if I use the movie as my example," ("I will not only receive a zero on the question, but on the entire test if I use the movie as my example,")
"If I use the movie as my example, I will be publicly humiliated, not for being stupid, but for not listening." ("If I use the movie as my example, I will be publicly humiliated, not for being stupid, but for not listening.")

A quick side note: As I mentioned earlier, this is HIGH SCHOOL. That should be enough said. And while I'm sure you can tell where this is going, true to form...

When I graded the tests later that night, I found that five, FIVE, students had used the movie as their example.

Really...FIVE??? I'm not sure what wasn't clear about NOT using the movie as the example. They should be publicly humiliated for not listening AND being stupid. Yes ladies and gentlemen, this is the future of America. Or as we so fondly refer to it Amerka.

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J

"A handful of common sense is worth a bushel of learning" ~ Proverb quote

Temporarily Closed For Renovations....Or Is It Really?

2010-10-15T10:52:00.000-07:00

Common sense –noun: sound practical judgment that is independent of specialized knowledge, training, or the like; normal native intelligence.

Origin:
1525–35; trans. of L sēnsus commūnis, itself trans. of Gk koinḕ aísthēsis

Welcome everyone to our very first official blog entry concerning the oh so unfamiliar term common sense.

Let the shenanigans begin!

A couple of months ago I was passing Samba Room and noticed that the chairs were up on the tables and no one was inside. On the door was a sign that said “Temporarily Closed For Renovations.” Fast forward to last week, I was walking to work like I always do and passed Samba Room like I always do. While waiting for the light to change, I noticed a lady and her husband approach the door. Like intelligent people, they read the sign. But to my dismay they proceed to yank on the door handle, dumbfounded that it won’t open. On the second try it still wouldn’t budge. Clearly they must have been confused by the sign the owners of the restaurant left in the window informing patrons that they were “Temporarily Closed For Renovations.” Maybe they thought that the sign was put there by mistake, and they would have dinner there. Or Maybe they thought it was all a rouse. No, no, no, I know, they thought that even though Samba Room was closed, that it would magically open just for them, after all, they were special people on a special date. Apparently reading and comprehending FOUR words proves too difficult for some.

Until next time,

Zozo and Leggy J

"Common sense is in spite of, not as the result of education." -Victor Hugo

Sources: picture, demotivationalpics.com . Quote, http://www.best-quotes-poems.com/common-sense-quotes.html

Welcome to the blog that illustrates how common sense ain't so common!

2010-10-09T14:12:00.000-07:00

We are two twenty something females living in Denver, Colorado who will share our daily encounters and observations of those who lack simple, probable, standard, familiar and typical know how of everyday life... a.k.a common sense. The purpose of this blog is to show just how stupid, yes we said it, STUPID some people can really be! We want you to know that you are not alone. There are others out there who know not to cross the street at a red light with oncoming traffic. To put a trash bag back in a trash can after you have emptied it. To flush the toilet in a public bathroom, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

Now, it's not that we are against mankind or anything, we know there are people out there who really do have the brain capacity to make the proper decisions necessary to survive this crazy, complicated and apparently formidable world.

Through stories and pictures will come the colossal tales of the people you share your everyday life with. Your neighbors, your boss and dare I say it, your family.

And if you are reading this, wondering whether you lack common sense or not, you do, so come back regularly for the common sense tip of the week. One week at a time we will teach you how to be a contributor to society, not a parasite of humanity, draining the rest of us of our sanity.

If any of you out there have personal stories or pictures that you would like to share, feel free to email us at csaintsc@gmail.com

Until next time,

Zozo and Leggy J