Commonplace Crazy

A Hillbilly Friend Is a Friend Forever

2013-06-18T20:19:00.000-07:00

My best friend, The Hillbilly, is here to talk about friendship:

Looking back over my life, I began thinking about the many good friends I have and some that are no longer with us. In doing so, I caught myself smiling, because I connect them with particular events. Some of these events have to do with us being helpful to one another, the others have to do with humorous events.

Friends

As for helpful, when I went through really bad times, emotional and financial, I had to come up with some money and get rid of items that I really didn’t want to part with. So I got estimates on some of these items and then went to some of my friends.

One of them was a fishing buddy of mine. I showed him an estimate I had of my boats, which was around $3000. Then I asked If he would give me the $3000 for them and then hold them for me to repurchase. I told him that I would begin buying them back soon as I could. He said yes. We then made up a bill of sale and he gave me the $3000. Actually, he would probably have just loaned it to me without the rigamarole, but I didn’t feel good about that.

I called another hunting and fishing buddy of mine and read the estimate I had on my guns and then asked if he would also purchase them and let me buy them back. He said yes, but then asked if he actually had to take possession of them. He said that he didn’t really have the room for them. So I also made up a bill of sale and he gave me the money. I then went to my boss and did the same thing with my car. He bought it, insured it, and I continued to use it as I repaid him. That was years ago, but it meant a lot, and I still am thankful for the help they gave me. And, as I said, I smile when I think of such things that were said, such as here is the money ----- but do I actually have to take the guns?

As for humor, one friend of mine (for 42 years now) has been involved with a lot of different things with me. He has fished with me, gigged for fish with me, cave crawled with me, sang in a quartets with me, sang at funerals with me, been involved with a lot of church activities with me, and we were involved with each other’s weddings. After our marriages, both of our families went to fairs, Six Flags, Worlds of Fun, etc. With that much togetherness, there is always some humor.

By U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service (U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

With the fishing, it seemed like a lot of funny situations had to do with snakes. I suspect that he was a snake magnet. Two different times, while float fishing, we wound up with snakes in the boat. On one float trip, with him and another great friend, he and I decided to try to get to a good looking fishing spot where the water had been too swift to allow us to get to it by boat. To do this, we had to wade part way across the river to a tree that was lying across deep water, with the idea of using it like a bridge.

I had seen a couple of snakes drop off of it but didn’t say anything to him because I figured it would spook him. We climbed over the tree and I looked down and there was another large water moccasin lying on another tree right below the one we crossed. We had just started down the bank when he got his fishing plug caught in his coat and wanted me to help get it out. While I was working on it, I saw another water moccasin crawl under a log right by my foot. I told him about that and lifted the log to get a better look at it. It was lying beside a second one. I then told him about that being about the sixth snake I had seen in the short distance we had walked and told him that it appeared that we were in to a nest of them. I suggested that it might not be wise to try to go any further. He agreed. So we went back to the tree. I told him that since we were there, I wanted to climb out on the tree and take a few casts before we left. Then, as I was walking out on it, another snake, (the 7th), slid off.

That's My Hillbilly!

By this time, my buddy was about ready to freak, so as we began getting off the tree to cross the river, he got in the water first. Then he told me to hurry up and also get into the water. "If the snakes come, I want them to have a choice." At that point I was laughing so hard that the snakes would have probably thought I was crazy and went after him anyway.

There are a lot of other occasions that I catch myself smiling about, but another one I find particularly funny was when he and I were on a ride at the fair. It was always one of my favorites. It looked kind of like a train but it would go upside down in a circle. It would start rocking back and forth, then eventually hang you upside down. It would then go around in circles one direction a few times, then again hang you upside down, then reverse and go around in circles the other direction, again hanging you upside down. This particular time, as we hung upside down for the first time, and I was laughing and having a great time, he suddenly says, “I hate this ride”. I then said, “What do you mean you hate this ride? We have been riding it together for years.” He then said, “Yes, and I have hated it the whole time." By this time, I was laughing so hysterically that I was in tears.

By basic_sounds (originally posted to Flickr as cne) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Later, he went on to tell me that he had been semi-claustrophobic and also hated the cave crawling. He said that the only reason he went with us was that he had just wanted to hang around with my other buddy and me.

Yes, he was and is a good friend. Yes, I do still laugh at him. And yes, he probably could tell you some funny things about me or tell you how easily I could get you into trouble or into unplanned adventures. But what I say is true and what he would say is -------- also true! Oh well, what do you expect from a half hyper, Missouri, Ozarkian, redneck hillbilly!

Well, what would you do if your best friend was about to be eaten by snakes?

Flashback Friday: My Little Photography Habit

2013-06-07T03:30:00.000-07:00

Today, for my newer readers (hahahahaha), I want to flash back to my early blogging days with this post. Also, I'm dusting off my Camera Crazy blog. Look for a new post Monday!

Originally posted 11/4/11
As I mention on my "About Me" page, I'm trying to learn a little about photography. I've got a nice, entry-level DSLR (Canon EOS Rebel T3), some books, Photoshop Elements, and a subscription to Popular Photography. I have talented friends who are willing to help me. One of the things that seems to be lacking is time to get out of the house and take pictures, but once in a while I get out there.

Here are the books I'm using to help me in my endeavors.

I enjoy taking pictures of nature and children. I'm not very good at photographing children because it's hard to get them to hold still while I'm adjusting my aperture, shutter speed, white balance, etc. I thought I had a solution to the problem, but as it turns out, tranquilized children don't look really good in pictures. I'll keep working on it.

In the mean time, here are some of my favorite shots.

All of these were taken in June with a borrowed Nikon D200

One of my first efforts. Good model, but I was still trying to figure out blurring the background.


Taken the same day. Cute model.

The Grand Tetons


Peek-a-boo!

This makes me want to write a story. What story would you write?

The Farmer's Daughters

Missouri---Swinging Bridge

Well, that's where I started. I'll share more at a later date. When I think you've sufficiently recovered from these. Let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Just try to break it to me gently.

Not much has changed regarding my photography hobby since this originally posted. I still don't have enough time to get out and practice. I think I've improved some, but I have a terrible time getting a sharp focus. I think the problem is that my hands tend to be shakey, but I'm not nuts about the sharpness of pictures taken with the tripod either. Maybe it's the camera. Maybe I need a new camera! I'll let you know how The Hillbilly takes that information.

And I do still want your comments on these shots. How can they be improved?

(Full Disclosure:The books in this post are books I use and recommend. Clicking on the books will take you to Amazon where you can find more information. If you were inclined to buy one of them, I would receive a small contribution to my retirement account. That fact does not influence my recommendation.)

Disney Cheaters

2013-06-06T00:07:00.000-07:00

If you know me at all, you know I love Disneyland. I grew up in Southern California, five miles from the Happiest Place on Earth. Even though we now live in Northern California, I still try to get to Disneyland once ever year or so.

Yep. That's The Hillbilly and I in the front seat.

Once my daughter, Alyssa, and I were walking through Disneyland when we overheard a little boy, about 4, talking to his mother. "Mommy," he asked, "is there a Disneyland in Heaven?" We never heard how his mommy answered, but we agreed that there probably is.

All dressed up for Christmas

As much as I love going to visit Mickey, I have reached the point where I refuse to go during the summer months. The number of visitors during the summer makes the entire trip unenjoyable for me. It's not just the lines, which are horrible, but the crowdedness in general. Just walking from place to place is unpleasant because of the sheer volume of people.

February: An "uncrowded" month

I have taken to visiting during the fall or winter, even though that means taking time off work. I have a limited number of "personal days," and I happily use them to visit Disneyland.

The Athlete is a big Minnie Mouse fan!

It seems that some people have found a new way around the crowds, however. I'm sure you've read about it lately. It's been all over the web. The Today Show aired a report, calling the new tactic, "deplorable."

What is this "deplorable" practice? Well, to understand it, first you have to be aware of Disney's practice of making their rides accessible to everyone. Disney wants everyone to have a good time, so they go out of their way to accommodate the disabled. This means that many of the rides allow disabled folks and their parties, to cut through the lines and go right to the front, usually through a side entrance. This is a kind and helpful policy, and I've never heard any of the non-disabled guests complain about it.

The Princess when she was 2 with Dumbo and me

What's new, however, is the way some people are taking advantage of this policy. Some people (people with more money than I have) are hiring disabled people to go to Disneyland or Disney World with them so they can cut to the front of the line.These unofficial tour guides advertise on Craig's List. Until recently a particular travel agency also advertised these "tour guides," but removed the ads after getting negative publicity.

When I first heard about this, I wasn't sure what to think about it. It's certainly not something that would ever have occurred to me to do. I wasn't really sure who was most at fault here, if anyone. After all, you can't really blame the disabled person for finding a way to make a living. And for that person to make a living, someone has to take advantage of his/her services.

On the other hand, I detest the attitude that if one has enough money, one is entitled to inconvenience others. And, after all, Disney's policy is there for a reason. It seems morally wrong to take advantage of that policy in a way to isn't consistent with the policy's intent.

Finally, imagine a (Disney) world where everyone could afford to hire a disabled "tour guide." Everyone would be lined up at the side entrance, and everyone, including the disabled who really want to enjoy the theme park, would be waiting in a long line.

Okay, that will never happen, but what might happen is that Disney will be forced to discontinue the practice completely. The legitimate tourist who happens to be disabled won't get that extra assistance that helps make the park enjoyable. I can see this as a real possibility.

So what do you think? Who is most at fault here, if anyone? The well-to-do tourist? The disabled "tour guide"? And what should Disney do about it? Sound off in the comments. I'm very interested in hearing your opinions.

Did You See What You Saw?

2013-06-04T22:02:00.006-07:00

Once again I find it necessary to teach you something you should have learned in elementary school! When you should have been conjugating verbs, you were busy making cootie catchers. Your poor teacher did her best, but you were watching the clock trying to figure out how long it was until recess.

Now here you are, a grown adult, going around talking like you've never been to school in your life. Interestingly enough, this seems to be a problem in speaking but not in writing. At least I can't think of a time when I've seen the problem. Mostly it's a problem you hear.

Let's start with a pop quiz. Fill in the blank with "saw" or "seen." Answers at the end of the post.
1. I ______ you at the store yesterday.
2. I have ______ that movie three times.
3. That old car has ______ better days.
4. You should have ______ Michael trying to get that pretty girl's attention.
5. She ______ him, but she had her nose so high she could have drowned in a rainstorm. (This saying brought to you by My Hillbilly.)

Source

Okay, let's start with the basics. Verbs show action. You knew that much, right? Good. The verb tense tells when the action occurred: past, present, or future.Verbs take on different forms to show different tenses. Listing those different forms is called conjugating the verb. Here's the abbreviated version:

Present Tense Past Tense Future Tense

I walk                 I walked               I will walk
You walk                             You walked                      You will walk
He walks                              He walked                       He will walk

Everybody's walking!

There are three more tenses you might have forgotten about. Your high school English teacher taught you these, but there was this cutie sitting next to you, and you were worried about how your hair looked, so you couldn't be expected to actually learn grammar. (I'm rolling my eyes here, you know.)

These are the perfect tenses. They are the forms we use with the helping verbs, have, has, or had:

Present Perfect Past Perfect Future Perfect

I have walked                    I had walked                             I will have walked
You have walked               You had walked                     You will have walked
He has walked    He had walked He will have walked

So far so good, right? Walk is a regular verb, and regular verbs are easy. You just add -ed to the end to get the past tense or the perfect tenses. Simple.

The problem comes along when we get to the irregular verbs. Irregular verbs just give you fits because they don't follow any rules. They seem to form the past tense and perfect tenses any ol' way they want to. Nevertheless, each irregular verb does have a correct past tense and past participle. (The past participle is what we call the form we use in the perfect tenses.)

So now we finally get to saw and seen. We start with the verb "to see." Saw is the past tense, and seen is the past participle. We use saw by itself. We use seen with the helping verbs have, has, or had. We never use "seen" without a helping verb! Let's conjugate the verb "to see."

Present Tense                    Past Tense                        Future Tense
I see                                     I saw               I will see
You see                              You saw                            You will see
He sees                              He saw                              He will see

Present Perfect                 Past Perfect                         Future Perfect
I have seen                         I had seen                             I will have seen
You have seen                    You had seen                        You will have seen
He has seen          He had seen                 He will have seen

So what does all this mean? It means you have to quit going around saying things like, "I seen Margie yesterday"! It is incorrect to say, "Have you saw that three-legged dog running around here?" You are doing it exactly backward, and you must stop! You're giving me a headache!!

To make this easier for you, I'm giving you a link to a Partial List of Irregular Verbs. You may keep it for your very own. Use it when you're not sure you're correct. Oh, go ahead and use it when you are sure you're correct because you're probably wrong anyway. Just use it. Here's a little sample:

Present Tense	Past Tense	Past Participle Use with have/has/had
arise	arose	arisen
awake	awoke	awoken
(be) is, am, are	was, were	been
become	became	become
begin	began	begun
blow	blew	blown
break	broke	broken
bring	brought	brought

Alrighty, let's correct that pop quiz.

1. I saw you at the store yesterday.
2. I have seen that movie three times.
3. That old car has seen better days.
4. You should have seen Michael trying to get that pretty girl's attention.
5. She saw him, but she had her nose so high she could have drowned in a rainstorm.
How did you do? I'm sure you did very well, because my readers are the very smartest readers around. You know I was really writing to all those other people. The ones who don't.....ummm..... wait. If they don't read this, how will we fix them?

Okay. Go out there and get your friends to read this! The ones who need it. You know who they are. In the meantime, leave a comment. Was this easy to understand? Do I need to explain anything more clearly? And what should I tackle next? We all know there's a lot of grammar out there that needs fixin'!

What's Bugging the Hillbilly?

2013-06-03T11:56:00.000-07:00

Speaking of hillbillies, and we were, here's a post from My Hillbilly. I love him, but he's been known to tell a fish tale on occasion. You'll know it when you read it:

In my post today, I want to talk about critters (animals, insects, and such) we have around our houses. Having grown up on a 40 acre farm in an old farm house that was surrounded by a barn, old chicken house, feed storage shed, and other miscellaneous outbuildings, we had our share of critters.

The Old Meents Home

Surprisingly, being an old farm house, mice weren’t as bad as one might think. That could have something to do with us constantly having cats that roamed around us. Spiders were a different thing. We always had tons of them. I wasn’t particularly afraid of them, but at night, being awakened by one that was large enough that you felt it walking across your chest, had a tendency to create instant adrenalin and frantic action. This probably had some good medicinal effects – for instance if your blood pressure was too low, it would raise it. It probably was good to improve bowel movements, mmm- probably not so good for incontinence!

Roaches were something with which we occasionally had a problem but it never seemed to amount to much. However, there was a house at which, every time I went and visited, a couple of roaches would crawl on me. I don’t know if they were greeting me or letting me know that it was their house and that if I didn’t get out, that they were going to call their enforcer, Butch, to throw me out. I actually think the roaches were so bad there, that the mice and other critters had left. I don’t know if they thought the neighborhood had gone to pot, or if possibly Butch had already thrown them out. The family that owned the house finally got rid of them by using Spectracide at double strength. I suspect that someone else got roaches shortly thereafter. You kill very few. They just suddenly feel unwanted and move to the next closest house!

Fleas are just nasty! We never had them in our farm house. We had too many cats and dogs on which to live. However, when my children were growing up, one of our indoor/outdoor cats got sick and immediately, the fleas left the cat and got into my house. I got rid of them with a few pans of soapy water. I would put a light over the pans at night. It would take about 2 to 3 weeks to get rid of them all. The fleas would jump at the lights and fall into the soapy water, and they drowned. It was so exhilarating to see their little bodies floating in the water! Ya-Ha-Ha! It was even more exhilarating when eventually you quit finding any of their little bodies.

Unfortunately, in looking at real estate, I have been in houses where the minute you walked in, hundreds of the little critters jumped on you and began biting. I and whoever was with me on these occasions, would look like we were crazy as we went running out while trying to slap them off. Yuck! You immediately felt dirty, like getting naked, (not for the right reasons), throwing your clothes away or at least into the washing machine, and taking a shower! Ooh! I hate fleas!


Maybe The Hillbilly should have put the fleas in clothing! Source: Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons

Ants are something by which we have all been affected. Every house in which I have ever lived, at one time or another, has had an invasion of some type of ants. My first home when I married in 1975 was a mobile home. Yes, if you want to call me trailer trash, that’s okay! The trailer was a 2 bedroom, 1 bath with washer and dryer, eat-in kitchen and a very warm, homey living room. It came with a front porch, a small back porch, some furniture, central heat and air and I had almost a ½ acre lot.

At any rate, my mom told me that after I cleaned it all up, I should burn some sulfur candles in it to kill any insects, critters, and germs. I did! The instructions said to close it up and not enter it for about 3 days and even then to air it out. I looked through the windows sometime after I lit the candles and couldn’t even see inside. For the first year, insects would not even come in the door, I don’t know what it was doing for us, but boy were we bugless --- except for ants! However I used some powder from some mail order group my mom suggested and they died quickly!

We once had a really strange night in this mobile home. My parents' dog, which decided to sleep at our mobile home, was just super upset and kept barking. We kept smelling coffee as if someone was in our kitchen brewing it. We were somewhat spooked, in fact, we kept getting up and looking around inside and outside. Then later, I heard a really strange sound of something on our window screen. I pulled back the shade and there was a bat just kind of bounce climbing up the screen.

Of course it got more weird when it pulled out a note that said, "Invite me in"!

I'm not stupid; I've watched enough vampire movies to know better than that! So I told it, (I don’t know if it was male or female), "You don’t even want to come in here. You look like a mouse with wings. Trust me on this; if there is anything that looks like a mouse in this house, my wife will take a shoe, chase it down and beat it bloody! You don’t even want to come in here!"

Squirrels, rats, and packrats are critters you don’t want in your house. A friend of mine got flying squirrels in his attic. They were chewing up everything! Rats and packrats are just nasty. For one thing, their poop is about the size of a small dog’s. They also chew up things. We once had a nice Indian woven rug, that a rat almost ate up! Packrats will carry off money, jewelry, and other things. A friend of mine that was living in a nice looking old farm house, when a packrat carried off his wife's wedding ring. Not Cool! Another friend of mine said that he knew that he was in trouble when he found a loaf of bread that had been dragged across the house!

I was living in a duplex that had some kind of rat. I put out traps and would find them empty and across the room from where I left them. My son got a look at the rat and told me that I needed a much larger trap. He said you are just making this thing mad with what you are using! So I got a much larger trap. However, I really knew that I was in trouble when I found the trap broken in half with a little note pinned to it with a little knife, challenging me to a duel ---- dueling banjoes. I mean, I don’t know how to play banjo!

From the Hillbilly’s Corner

The Hillbilly is basically an honest man and wants to come clean about a couple things:
Things that are untrue --- the bat did not pull out a note, but it's true that I didn’t look to see if it was male or female, I mean that just seems perverted! And my wife would have beat it bloody with a shoe!

And no, the large trap was not broken and it didn’t have a note pinned to it with a little knife.

But it is true that I don’t play the banjo!

That's My Hillbilly, y'all, a mighty hunter! I'm still trying to figure out what the bat at the window had to do with the smell of coffee brewing. If I can get a bat to have my coffee ready for me every morning, he'd be more than welcome! Maybe he has friend who vacuums too!

I once lived in a house that had roaches. They moved into the Roach Motel and they were gone! Great product! What kinds of pests have you had to deal with? How did you dispatch them? And what do YOU think the bat had to do with the smell of coffee brewing?

This post contains affiliate links. You can help support my retirement fund by clicking on the links and purchasing your bug-killing products.

You Say Sofa; I Say Couch

2013-06-01T16:20:00.001-07:00

I got this question on the Ask the English Teacher page, and I'm sharing it here. Do with it what you will.

Here is the question as it was written:

What is your opinion, is Appalachian English nothing more than inferior dialect of uneducated lazy Southern Hillbillies living among themselves isolated from the real world? Or is it as research expanding over 80 years now theorize as remnant of Elizabethan (or Shakespearean) English that due to isolation has been preserved? There is other theories from the British Isles settlers to adapting with Colonial American English. Personally my opinion the so call educated people are not willing to acknowledge years of stereotyping from being unable to speak or understand it. Where as speakers of Appalachian English have no trouble understanding standard English as well.

Love to hear your prospective on the subject, from my quick overview you have experience with standard English, to being married to an Hillbilly, to teaching and that's the upmost authority any could have.

If you have not noticed I am an true Appalachian Hillbilly, over the years one can only imagine the theoretical I have experienced. As an example two have stayed implanted among my old head. After moving to New York City in 2000 was asked by who now is an dear friend, "Don't you people do things with barn animals why?" Took a few minutes to reply then said well I was hoping that our delightful habits were not known but maybe one day I'll take you down there so to experience it. Left it at that for a couple years. Then while on an four week Caribbean cruse was approached by a wonderful educated well rounded lady from Chicago, she wanted to know why and how it was that I am not those on Hee Haw? She and her colleagues for years could not understand how no one would help us, educate us, send us to boarding schools for such types. Cruse already half way she had become part of our afternoon martini tea time group but, just could not let this pass. Came back well honey you know what I am glad you're so good to see that in me if you would like to donate I am not ashamed to accept an Harvard education as well as summer abroad the european expanding my little pea picking brain. LOL Got neither but she did get educated.

In closing am in debate for now ten years that I am no more than just an Hillbilly reason I can speak better is association among the educated, any so called theories Appalachian English is superior I should really go to be mentally checked, jokingly of course.

In answer to the question, I don't find any one dialect inherently inferior to any other. Dialects tend to be based on regional or socio-economic isolation. In other words, we use the speech we hear around us all day.

Also, language is constantly changing. If we take a group who all speak the same dialect and separate them for long enough, they will eventually be speaking two completely different dialects.

However, there is a dialect known as Standard American English. This is the English used in business and education. It is the language of power. In order to be successful in America, one should be able to use Standard American English. Without this ability, one is unlikely to be taken seriously by those who have power and authority. These are the people who will hire you, support you, connect you, bankroll you. Or not.

The Wicked English Teacher only corrects the grammar, punctuation, and spelling of people who are writing in a venue in which Standard American English is expected.

So there you have it. What's your opinion on the question of whether one dialect is "superior" or "inferior"? By the way, MY Hillbilly has a very good grasp on Standard American English.

The links in this post are affiliate links. If you're interested in reading more about Standard American English and dialect, and you buy one of these books by clicking on the link, I get a few pennies! If you go directly to Amazon and buy the books, I get nothing. But why would you want to do that? I'm still working on that retirement fund.

10 Things I Know About Being a Mom

2013-05-22T19:44:00.000-07:00

Well, Mother's Day has come and gone, and I never did get my Mother's Day post up. This whole procrastination/depression/anxiety disorder thing is getting annoying. Brain chemicals are tricky things, and they seem to enjoy being sneaky and popping chaos and/or lethargy into your life when you least expect them. I don't want the tricky brain chemicals to win, so I'm going to go ahead and finish my Mother's Day post, just to show them who's boss. That would be me, although if you've been hanging around me lately, you might not believe that.

On the other hand, it's getting late, and this might not be exactly the post I had originally planned. Just sayin'.

So without further ado, welcome to my Mother's Day post.

I'd like to share what I've learned over the years about being a mom. None of this wisdom came from my own brilliance. I've been blessed to know many good moms over the years, especially my own!

No one knows what the face I'm making is about. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

10 5 Things I know About Being a Mom.

1. It's not easy, but it's worth it.

Being a mom is tough. For one thing you never know if you're doing it right, and getting it right matters so very, very much! Also, you know that old saying, "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you"? It's true. As a mom, you have to do things you don't want to do, but you know it's what's best for your child. And then there are the nights sitting up with a feverish child worrying yourself sick. None of it's easy. But what a hole there would be in my life if I didn't have those children!

My kids--My car. Thanks.

Anyway, it's necessary to raise the children so you can get some grandkids. Now there's a reward for your hard work!! So, no putting the kids up for adoption when they get difficult. No stopping this car and leaving them by the side of the freeway. I mean, sure you can threaten, but you really just can't do that.

2. Every child is different, and that's okay.

Just when you get your first child figured out and start to feel like you might be getting this parenting thing down, along comes a whole new person to show you that you still know nothing. So you've got a little girl learning her letters on Sesame Street, and your little boy is too busy climbing to the highest point in the house to care about Big Bird or Grover, and certainly not wimpy little Elmo. Or in your case it may have been a little boy reading books and a girl mixing "scientific formulas" with the cleaning fluids. But how boring would it be to raise the same child more than once? Variety is the spice of life, so they say, and I'm sure it's true.

Alyssa, feet firmly planted on the ground, and Ben ... not so much.

3. A mom's job is to help her children be whoever they already are.

We don't get to turn our children into whoever we want them to be. (I wish I could have convinced my ex-husband of that.) Kids are already someone when they're born. We can't turn an introvert into an extrovert. We can't turn a kid who's interested in science into a poet. Nor should we. All we can do is help them to be the best they can be, whoever they are. As my mom says, "All we can do is civilize them."

The four my mom tried to civilize.

4. We have to teach them to be independent, and that means letting them fall down once in a while.

One of those hard things we have to do is let our kids try things and allow them to fail. It seems like a lot of moms today want to protect their kids from anything remotely dangerous. I remember carving soap with a butter knife when I was very small. Ivory soap was best for that, by the way. When I was six I wanted an Easy Bake Oven. Instead my mom taught me to read a cake mix package and use the big oven!

Those same moms are the ones doing their children's science fair projects and editing their essays. Kids learn from trying, failing, and figuring out why they failed. You have to let them go, or they'll never learn to fly.

That's my boy, the climber

5. You're their mom, not their friend, but that doesn't mean you can't like each other.

You have to find the balance between being the authority figure and being their pal. There were lots of activities that Alyssa, Ben, and I enjoyed doing together. We had fun, we sang, we played games. And Disneyland! Don't get me started on Disneyland! But when the time came to set and enforce limits, they always knew I was the one in charge.

Alyssa, Ben and BFF Pam

Did they always like that? Of course not! They were kids! We argued, they got grounded, there were tears and anger. But we all still knew we loved each other. I didn't worry about them "liking" me. When they told me I was mean, I said, "Good. Then I'm doing my job." I think they got tired of hearing that, but it's true.

My kids back in the day

The bottom line is that Alyssa and Ben are close to me today. We still enjoy spending time together, and they know they can come to me when they need to talk. Yes, even though I grounded them!

My babies!

So there you go. Some random number of things I know about being a mom. I actually know other stuff about it, but I think that I've sufficiently whipped the brain chemicals and let them know who's in charge.

How about you? What are your best "being a mom" tips? What do you wish you had known before you started? What are you still trying to figure out? Leave a comment!

I'm linking up here!

Hillbilly Lawn Ornaments

2013-05-04T20:53:00.000-07:00

Today thoughts of spring have made My Hillbilly reflect back on the lovely yards he grew up with. Here he shares some Missouri gardening tips:

It is springtime and people are beginning to do yard work, planting, and decorating their yards. Being a hillbilly that grew up on a small farm, yard work for me was mostly mowing. Trimming around a house or flowers was just getting as close to them as I could get with a lawnmower. Mom did the flower thing and if she made it to where it was hard to mow, flowers “accidentally” got mowed also. One of the funnier plants she once ordered through the mail and planted had some fancy name but just wound up being what we call buck brush and grew wild all around us.

Missouri Buck Brush

But today, I want to talk about hillbilly decorations.

Hillbilly yard decorations vary from the more permanent to the more seasonal. One I remember seeing quite a lot when I was a boy, was old toilet stools made into planters. It was always a moving experience. Just think of the ingenuity to not waste something to which you had such a close relationship. And there might have even been some natural minerals and fertilizer there that did not go to waste. Just picture some bright orange flowers growing up out of the tank and purple flowers growing up from the stool. I mean, it just makes your heart sing! Other planters were made up of coffee cans, old dish pans, etc. Why let anything go to waste?

Seriously, one of the cuter yard decorations I remember having seen was one my aunt made up. She got one of my cousin's pair of old tennis shoes (I think they were size 16’s). She cut a hole in the toe of each one, a couple of other small holes and planted hen and chicks. It was actually quite cute.

Not the actual shoes worn by The Hillbilly's actual cousin

Sometimes you saw old wooden wheel farm wagons or real old farm equipment. ---- I guess they were decorations. It could have been that they had just been set aside, replaced, and not moved. Then of course, there were the old cars, on or off blocks, engines hanging from the trees, etc.

Other decorations you saw were bull skulls, (I have actually seen large fake human skulls made from concrete), old milk or cream cans, mail boxes with supports made from logging chains welded into some shape. Mail box supports made from old wheels, etc. My parent’s box was kind of plain. It was just an old milk can with a 4x4 post with a box mounted on it. Years ago, I had one all welded up that poison sumac grew up on. It was really pretty, but the mail man left me a note saying that if I wanted mail, I would have to remove the sumac. Mostly, my parents and I were just into functionality.

Speaking of functionality, due to a rash of mail box damage by idiots driving by and bashing mail boxes with bats (probably by them there city folk), a friend of mine got an old round tank, filled it full of concrete, filled pipe with concrete, and made an almost indestructible mail box. He figured it would almost break someone’s arm if they drove by and hit it with a bat. Unfortunately, one of his neighbors hit it with a car first. It flipped the car. It was one mean mailbox.

Temporary decorations could vary depending upon how hillbilly the hillbilly was. During good catfishing weather, I have seen yard fence post, (wooden fence post), with every post having a large catfish head decorating them, (mouth pushed over the post). It was a decoration that made a statement --- look how good of a fisherman I am! Of course there were the really temporary decorations of deer hanging from the trees or occasionally tied on the hood of the truck, (hillbilly hood ornament).

Cynthia's Note: I found pictures of catfish heads on fence posts. You don't want to see them. You're welcome.

The Ozarks are more modern now and have better decorations, like fake deer. They have become pretty realistic. I knew of some road hunters, (against the law), that drove by a yard one evening and saw one of them there decorative deer. It was a buck with a good set of antlers. They were wishing it was real. As they started driving off, the ornament walked off into the woods!

Is it real, or is it Memorex?

By now, I am sure that there are some of you city folk are laughing and making fun of these different hillbilly yard ornaments. I laugh at them too! However, I don’t remember a single hillbilly, in my neck of the woods, that had one of them stinking, stupid, plastic, pink flamingos in their yard. So there! We were more uptown than you thought!

Well, having said that, I think I will show this California neighborhood how to be tasteful in their yard decorating. I suspect that after I get started, that very soon, they will all be asking for my advice on what to do with their yards, particularly after I have a good catfishing trip!

From the Hillbilly’s Corner!

Sigh. Well, while I go deal with the Homeowners' Association, why don't you all leave some comments about the most interesting and/or unusual yard decorations you've seen.

Maybe You Didn't Know: Proofreading the Internet

2013-04-30T20:09:00.000-07:00

You all know me. You know I try to be patient when you totally ignore every rule that your poor English teacher tried so hard to teach you while you were fixing your makeup, flirting with the boy in the next row, and passing notes to your bestie across the room.

Really I try.

Really.

But I can only take so much, and then it just all comes bubbling out in a Wicked English Teacher rant. We have reached that point. It is time.

Get ready to pay attention!

Now I'm going to try to take it easy on you. Maybe you just didn't know there were rules to spelling and punctuation and so on. How could you have known? I mean, that homecoming float wasn't going to build itself now, was it? You can't have been expected to listen to everything your English teacher said. It was just all "nouns" this and "semi-colon" that. Who knows what hideous prom dress you would have ended up with if you hadn't hidden that Seventeen Magazine inside your grammar book!

March 1989

So let me share some things with you that you might not know because you were too ~~dimwitted~~, er, busy, to pay attention in class. All of these examples come from various websites I have visited in the last month or so.

Maybe you didn't know: "Besides the point" is incorrect. The correct phrase is "beside the point." As in, "I thought your prom gown looked pretty tacky anyway, but that's beside the point."

Speaking of "tacky," maybe you didn't know: Manufacturers pretty much always put the correct spelling of their product right on the label. This is directed at the hot cocoa addict who wrote "I pop cocoa like Tick-Taks people."

No. No, you don't.

In addition to misspelling the product name, this writer left out the comma before the word "people." I'm sure the rest of you were paying attention when your teachers, (All of them! Starting in about the third grade until you graduated, assuming you graduated.) told you to use a comma before and after a noun of direct address. In other words, when you're talking to someone, separate their name (people) from the rest of the sentence by using commas.

Another writer mentioned the "high lite of my day." Don't even get me started. Spell the words, people! There will be no "slang" spelling on my Internet! Thank you. And by the way, "highlight" is one word. You're welcome.

Someone, I believe it was on a cooking blog, said that "A purest probably would not approve..." I'm confused. The word "purest" is a superlative adjective. It means "most pure" and comes after "pure, purer..." Someone who insists things be done correctly is a "purist." Maybe you didn't know. Now you do.

"...keep the ribbon taught." Hee hee hee. Maybe you didn't know that you can't teach ribbons. You can barely teach people. Trust me! You can however keep a ribbon taut, meaning "stretched tight."

Someone was concerned whether a Flexi clip will work in "course hair" Well, of course they work in coarse hair! Not so much in "course" hair. Sorry.

Finally, maybe you didn't know that you can't take advise. Really, you can't! I advise you to take as much good advice as you can get, but don't take it from the person who wrote, "This is good advise!"

There! I feel better now. Did you learn anything you didn't already know? What errors have you run across lately that bring out The Wicked English Teacher in you? Leave me a comment! Thanks.

Mother's Day Shopping List

2013-04-25T19:24:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day is fast approaching, and my inbox is filled with offers from the advertisers with whom I'm affiliated. They've got a lot of great deals for you, and I'm happy to share the very best offers that have come across my computer screen. As always, I earn a little bit if you decide to purchase, but I never recommend anything I don't believe in. These are great companies, and you can feel safe ordering from them.

Flirty Aprons has, well, flirty aprons! I love their styles, and your mom will too. I own two of them and bought one for my daughter as well. Right now you can save 40% AND get free shipping!

Here's the deal: 40% Off + Free Domestic Shipping (First Class & Priority) Good through 05/05/13. code MOMSDEAL40

MixBook has really great photo books and personalized greeting cards. Check out their prices and selection before you buy anywhere else.

Follow this link: Save 50% on Mixbook's Biggest and Best Photo Books!

Another good source for customized Mother's Day cards is Tiny Prints. Their selection of cards is always unique. Jump on this sale right away. It ends April 30.

You can also get 15% Off Photo Gifts, Custom Stamps, iPhone Cases and More.

A lot of moms appreciate flowers, and you can't go wrong with Teleflora. I've used them for years to send flowers to my grandmother. They always come through with a beautiful arrangement delivered on time.

I love The Body Shop! I could spend hours in their store just sampling and sniffing all the difference lotions and potions they carry. If your mom loves their goodies (Ben and Alyssa, that's a hint), take advantage of their big sale going on right now.

How cool is this? Mom can make her own Starbucks coffee right at home! I haven't tried this machine, but it's being sold direct from Starbucks, so it's not some knock-off.

Does your mom like shiny goodies? Well, let me remind you, I'm the queen of shiny goodies! Don't forget to shop my Lilla Rose Flexi Clip page for shiny goodies like this:

Then be sure to visit my Etsy shop Simply Cynful Jewelry by Cynthia where you'll find lovely Mother's Necklaces:

Mixed metal personalized necklace, baby feet, hand-stamped

Mother's Necklace with two Swarovski crystal birthstone hearts and two sterling initial charms on a silver-filled chain.

Hammered copper pendant, hand-stamped, birthstones, mothers necklace

Mother's Necklace with one Swarovski crystal birthstone heart and one sterling initial charm on a silver-filled chain.

So there you are. Now get shopping. Get your mom something she'll love because our moms deserve the very best. And happy Mother's Day to all of my readers who are also moms because you are awesome!

Be sure to let me know what you think of my recommendations. Leave a comment and tell me what you think of the companies I've selected.

The Hillbilly Reflects on Boston

2013-04-23T21:02:00.002-07:00

My Hillbilly has something he wants to talk about, and I'm just going to let him get right to it:

Due to recent news events, I got to thinking about my childhood. I remember such things as my first attempt at keeping a bicycle upright. A neighbor had me get on his son’s bike and gave me a running push down a narrow barbwire fenced trail between his fields. In retrospect, it was probably not a well thought out idea. Obviously, I crashed but survived without too many scratches.

I remember getting my first bicycle on my 8th birthday. It was actually my oldest sister’s bicycle that had been shined up and had new tubes and tires put on it. Yeah, I learned to ride a bike on a girl’s bicycle! Do you want to make something of it? I didn’t get to try to ride it that night or even have birthday cake because we rushed off to where I had my first ride in a plane.

We flew from Lebanon, Missouri to Tulsa, Oklahoma and then back. We were in my uncle’s airplane. He was taking his mother back to her home, and since it was my birthday, Dad worked it out to where we got to tag along. If any of you remember the television show Sky King the plane looked just like it. Being just then 8 years old without any previous flying experience, I thought it was really loud and really cool, except for the occasion of when the plane died as we were flying over a large lake. Then, for a short time it got very quiet and uncool.

Again, obviously, we didn’t crash, since I am able to keep you enthralled and on the edge of your seats as you read this. Shortly after that, I signed up to play Little League baseball. They made me into a pitcher and showed me how to so the wind up and release. I remember going to stores with my mom and while she shopped, standing off to the side and practicing my windup and release, over and over again. It was a good year!

The Hillbilly Boy

As to the reason I am writing this, it is because I can. I am still alive to tell you about some of these things! I am old enough to tell you about experiences over a large period of years, more years than seem possible because it seems like such a short time. I can tell you about my experiences, my children, my grandchildren and so on.

I say all this because recently, a little 8 year old’s life and others’ lives were ended, and others’ lives forever changed by some cowardly people who placed bombs at the Boston Marathon. I saw the little boy’s picture, his little smiling face topped off with a ball cap. Usually these things make me worry about my grandchildren, friends’ children, everyone’s children. But this time it reminded me of my ball cap, my youth and my yesteryears. This little eight year old, just as the Sandy Hook children, will never get to reach his potential. We all wonder why and we all grieve!

Martin Richard

As a person who is in his right mind (kind of) I believe it is impossible to understand the acts of crazy people, and they are one of the very few things that frighten me. As for these radical people, they may actually be crazy also! I do know that neither will ever have my respect! Anyone who blows up innocent people, kills innocent children, sometimes making their own children into human bombs or giving their children over to radical groups to become bombs, does not deserve anyone’s respect! Anyone who does all of the above, then after an attack, uses children and innocent people as shields, knowing that good people (much better than they ever will be) will refrain from attacking them to keep innocents from being harmed, do not deserve anyone’s respect. They deserve only to be scorned and possibly pitied for having such a hate that it eats them up and ruins both theirs and other’s lives!

Young Afghan School Girls from Herat

Anyone who tries to force people to live by their religion, rather than let the people make their own choice as to how they live, is seriously confused as to God’s wishes! From what I read, God made us to where we could make choices. He wants us to live for Him and I believe it is best that we do. But He only wants us to do so if we choose to do so. To go through the motions because of the fear that people will kill you if you don’t does not meet His requirements and is a complete waste of time!

Malala Yousafzai, the teenage girl shot by the Taliban for promoting girls' education

One thing that is obvious, crazy people are amongst us! Radicals are amongst us! Criminals are amongst us! They always have been. All the laws in the world will not change that! They only obey the laws they choose to obey! We can never change enough laws to make them obey them. The only people affected by law changes are those who obey them, law abiding citizens. In other words, good people, the majority of us, get punished, give away our rights, etc. to (mistakenly) feel safer, and to (mistakenly) make us feel as if our government is doing something. Of course they are continually doing something ---- spending lots of our money!

During the prohibition people still got and drank alcohol. We have laws against drugs; people still are able to get them. If all guns were made illegal, criminals would still be able to get them. When things are made illegal, it just creates illegal markets! Actually, there is already a worldwide market of weapons that come from militaries.

Prohibition Era Prescription Form for "Medicinal" Alcohol. Sound Familiar?

I wish that I could tell you that things are going to get better, safer, and more secure, but they are probably not. Probably the best thing you can do besides pray, is to live your life, help others, and to learn to be watchful. Law enforcement generally is of help after the fact. So mostly you are responsible for your own welfare! Lots of time when things are not right, they won’t look right. Learning to see what doesn’t look right around you can be your best defense. This is something I had to learn once I started working in the large cities. I got very close to being jumped by two hoodlums but was kept from harm by a buddy that saw it happening. Since then, I have been much more aware!

Use your Hillbilly Senses. Be Safe!

From the Hillbillies’s Corner

If There Be Any Virtue

2013-04-16T21:50:00.000-07:00

I had a Wicked English Teacher post ready to go, but frankly we've had enough wickedness for a while. So instead, I want to share with you the brightness of humanity. These are some of my students. They are 13 and 14 years old. They give us hope for the future.

Katy volunteers with the elderly, raking leaves and cleaning house; puts together hygiene kits for people in need, ties baby quilts for needy children, and donated eight inches of hair to Locks of Love.

Ashley helps organize a Thanksgiving canned food drive, organized, signed and passed out Christmas cards for seniors, helped feed the homeless, and helped with a toy drive. She would like to teach elementary school. Her goal is to join or start an organization to feed the homeless every week.

Hannah organized a lanyard sale and raised money for a local animal shelter. She planned and facilitated Christmas caroling at a senior center, collected supplies for military care packages, and helped with a junior livestock camp and farm yard experience. She would like to become a geneticist.

Marlowe served in children's ministry, helped with the Love Our Cities projects, served in a convalescent home, helped build homes in Mexico and helped feed families in need.

Amarpreet writes Christmas Cards for the senior center, feeds the unfortunate, helps with the toy drive, made Thanksgiving food baskets for the needy, and helped distribute food at the Nagar Kirtan every year. She wants to become a heart surgeon or radiologist.

Emily helps make and distribute baby blankets to the hospital and leads singing, plays music, runs crafts, and plays bingo at retirement homes. She would like to be an engineer, author, or nuclear physicist.

Another Emily helps feed the homeless and volunteers with Monkey Business, helping kids whose loved ones have cancer.

Ellen volunteers at a local senior center doing "Fancy Fingertips," painting some of the ladies' nails. She also assists with sewing and distributing baby blankets to the hospital, and volunteers with the project to provide holiday food packages to the needy.

It's easy to get discouraged when horrific things happen around us, but these kids remind me daily that the world is not purely evil, that there are good hearts out there. The future is not all bleak with kids like this growing into adulthood.

Let's keep the good thoughts going! What positive thing have you seen that gives you hope? Share in the comments so we can bear one another up in these trying times.

... whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Philippians 4:8

5 Reasons Why Life is Better After 50

2013-04-13T22:08:00.000-07:00

So I turned 54 last month, the same age as Barbie. Actually I'm ten days younger than Barbie. Mattel gave birth to Barbie on March 9, 1959 at a New York Toy Fair. I didn't come along until the 19th.

Still, even though she's slightly older, Barbie seems to have aged much better than I have. Personally, I think she's had some work done. I mean, look at how immovable her face is! Barbie has definitely taken Botox to the extreme. I may be wrinkled, but I'm real. Just sayin'.

But that's not what I came to talk about today. I mean Barbie. I did come to talk about being 54.

So here's the thing. I talk about my aches and pains the way I always thought old people did. I have a lot of history behind me that translates into wisdom which comes with age. At work I am the oldest teacher in the language arts department. Next year, after this year's retirees leave, another 54 year old and I will be the oldest teachers in the school.

Oldest teacher in the school!

When my mom was 54, I thought she was old. After all, she was a grandma. Like I am.

My mom, dad and daughter.

Look how pretty she was! She doesn't look old at all! And here's the thing. I don't feel old either. Deep in my heart, even though I can accept it rationally, I just don't believe I'm old. I'm NOT old. No matter how trite it sounds, I'm actually better than I used to be. 50 was a new beginning. I don't know exactly why, but so much is easier after 50.

In fact, let me share 5 reasons why life is better after 50 (you knew I was going to work that title in somewhere, right?).

1. I care a lot less about what other people think of me. Really. I don't mean I don't care if I hurt other people. I'm still a caring person. I just don't need other people's approval for the decisions I make or who I am. Maybe it's just that I don't have enough energy to think about it very much. Or because I don't have much time left, and I don't want to waste it worrying about what people think about things that are none of their business anyway.

2. I know what's important in life. I'm really comfortable with my priorities in a way that I haven't always been. I'm content with the things I have because I've surrounded myself with the people I love. I'll leave the rat race to the rats.

4 our of 5 grandchildren

3. I have grandchildren. Okay, technically, I did have a grandchild before I was 50, but you get my point.

The Princess and The Monster

4. I want to put this delicately. I'm beyond childbearing, and this makes...everything...better and much more relaxed. If you know what I mean.

My mama, my sisters, and I

5. I'm just really comfortable in my skin. I'm looking my age, and mostly that's okay. I mean, if you offered to magically make me look 25, I'd take it, but that's not going to happen. My hair has streaks of gray, and they're going to stay there and invite company. I'm not interested in covering them up. I earned them. I raised Ben and Alyssa, for pity's sake! I teach 8th grade!! Those are my gray hairs, and I stand by every one of them. Those wrinkles around my eyes? Too many years of laughter and smiling. Sometimes I was smiling through the tears, but I've always had reasons to smile. Ben and Alyssa for example.

So there we are. I'm 54, and my soul doesn't feel any older than it ever was. I have a feeling when I'm 74, my inner being will still feel the same. Pretty sure those wrinkles and gray hairs will have increased significantly, but that's okay.

How about you? Are you comfortable with your age? What's good about your current age? Is there an age you'd rather be? Share in the comments.

You May Be a Grandma If...

2013-04-07T21:15:00.001-07:00

You know, life really changes when you become a grandma. It gets better and brighter in every way!

Let me show you some examples:

If you buy the Happy Meal when you're by yourself because you like to keep small toys in your purse "just in case" ... you may be a grandma

If you don't have any problem at all with this:

Miss Sunshine

...you may be a grandma!

If your living room floor is covered with toys, and no children live in your house...you may be a grandma!

The Princess

If you have ever said, "Well, I don't think just one cookie before dinner will hurt anything." ... you may be a grandma.

The Model

If you give your daughter a gift certificate for a mani-pedi just so you can babysit ... you may be a grandma.

The Athlete

If you've got Cheerios and Fruit Loops next to your high fiber cereal and Metamucil ... you may be a grandma.

The Monster

If there are children who know exactly which pocket of your purse the candy is kept in ... you may be a grandma.

Coming in September!

That's right!! Grandchild #6 is on the way! I can't wait to meet her!

Can you think of any other ways to tell if "you may be a grandma"? Share them in the comments section.

So I Did the Research

2013-04-02T23:37:00.000-07:00

I was hopping around the web today, and I came across the article "28 Incredibly Beautiful Places You Won't Believe Actually Exist." There are really some amazing pictures here, but there was very little actual information about the places. You really should pop over there and look at the pictures -- after you finish reading my blog, of course.

I was mildly curious about some of the spots until I came across this picture:

Original Source: World for Travel

I looked at these boats floating in a sea of Pepto-Bismol and was immediately curious to know more. Sadly, the article only included the information that this is Lake Retba, Sengal. Very little information indeed!

So I immediately decided it was time to do some research, and because I love you, I'm sharing what I learned so that you don't have to leave this page to find more information. You're welcome.

My first big question was, "Where in the world is Sengal, and why have I never heard of it?" I discovered that I had never heard of it because it's supposed to be "Senegal" which I have heard of! Senegal is a small African nation located ~~about~~ exactly where that green mark is:

Source: CIA Factbook

I learned quite a bit while researching this. At first I thought I had read two possible explanations for the color of the water. One theory was that it was due to a pink-colored algae in the water. The other explanation was that it was caused by a bacteria (cyanobacteria). However, when I looked up cyanobacteria , I read that it was actually a form of algae. Who knew?

BUT WAIT!! Further research showed that while cyanobacteria is often called blue-green algae, it's not really an algae at all! I hope you're all as thoroughly confused as I was. I was so confused that for a moment I actually considered calling my ex-husband the biology major. Fortunately, I got hold of myself and did what any intelligent, college-educated person would do. I found a page for kids:

http://www.dogonews.com/2012/6/7/the-secret-behind-senegals-pink-lake

There in language easy enough for a child to understand, DOGONews declares that the pink color is caused by an algae known as Dunaliella Salina. That's good enough for me.

In either case, it appears to have no ill effects on humans or wildlife.

Source

The salt content of the water is quite high (which makes people buoyant), and harvesting the salt is a major source of income for the local inhabitants.

Source

So to sum up: lots of salt and algae but no bacteria. Good for floating.

This whole event reminds me of the good old pre-Google days when we had to depend on The World Book Encyclopedia if we wanted to know anything. Every time one of the kids would ask me a question I didn't know the answer to, I made them go get the encyclopedia, and we looked it up. This drove them crazy.

One of my children regretting that he had asked, "What makes airplanes fly?"

In the spirit of payback, my daughter does the same thing to her children, except Google is somehow involved, which I think takes half the fun out of it.

How did you find information before Google? How do you answer the questions your children ask today?

As it turns out, by the way, there is another pink lake in Australia. That however, will have to wait for another blog post.

So The Princess is Seven

2013-04-02T02:30:00.000-07:00

My oldest granddaughter, The Princess, turned seven last week. It's hard to believe she's gotten that grown up already. It seems like just yesterday she looked like this:

The Cutest Baby Picture in the History of Baby Pictures!!

Of course, it only seems like the day before yesterday that her mommy looked like this:

One of the Cutest Baby Pictures in the History of Baby Pictures

But now, The Princess is a big girl, and she can dance! Check out this video from her school talent show. She's the pretty blonde with the bright blue shirt right in the middle.

Isn't she fantastic? Happy 7th Birthday to my Princess! Grandma loves you to pieces!

Ask the English Teacher: Adjectives, Adverbs, and Prepositional Phrases

2013-04-01T13:13:00.000-07:00

A reader asked: "I am helping my child with adverbs and adjectives and prepositional phrases. I am having a lot of trouble with it my self. The noble lord greedily collected many taxes and became rich. The brave knight in armor rushed blindly toward his foe."

Things to remember:
Adjectives describe nouns and pronouns. Adjective usually answer the question "what kind," "which one," "how much/many," or "whose."

In your examples,

What kind of lord? A noble lord
How many taxes? Many taxes
What kind of lord (did he become)? A rich lord
What kind of knight? A brave knight

Adverbs describe verbs, adjectives, and other adverbs. Adverbs usually answer the question "where," "when," "how," "how often," or "to what extent." Adverbs often end in -ly.

How did he collect taxes? Greedily collected
How did the knight rushed? Blindly rushed

Prepositional phrases begin with a preposition and end with a noun or pronoun. A preposition shows how that noun or pronoun relates to some other word in the sentence.

In armor tells us how the knight and the armor are related. The knight is in armor.
Toward his foe tells us how the knight and his foe are related. The knight is rushing toward his foe.

I hope this is helpful. For further help let me recommend lessontutor.com, a very helpful free website.

The Hillbilly's Take on Communication and Depression

2013-03-28T14:35:00.001-07:00

Here's my Hillbilly again, getting serious this time with some good advice.

I guess that if I was going to give this blog post a title, though it is really not the main theme, it would be the question – what could have been?

The other day, I was thinking about back when I was young, single, and still dating. Like most, I had my first love, (puppy love), and first broken heart! With that, I grew wiser and leery of having a steady girlfriend. In fact, I began just dating this one and that one without getting too serious with anyone.

During that time, at a church revival that was advertised as a young people’s meeting, we had a lot of young people come in from over a fairly large area of Missouri. Due to that, I met and spent some time with a young woman, a few years my junior. She was cute, sweet, funny, and had the biggest dimples I ever saw. She got my attention, and --- I got her phone number, address, etc. Being a young, romantic hillbilly, a couple of weeks later, I made her a paper that looked like a check and made it payable to her for 10,000 kisses. Hey, don’t laugh too hard! It worked! It led to some dates and a lot of kisses! In fact almost immediately, we were being drawn together.

So what happened? Well, since we lived quite a distance apart, we were not getting to see each other every day or even every week. The last day we got to see each other on a planned date, she was distant and didn’t act like she was enjoying being with me. She wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. So, I decided that she was no longer interested in me. I moved on!

A few months later, I began dating another girl. We were just beginning to get somewhat serious, when another congregation had a young people’s meeting. We attended. I had warned my girlfriend that we might run into a couple of girls there that I had dated previously. We did! They got together and sat right in front of us.

Then next day, my girlfriend had to work but I went back down to help out with the services. Afterwards, the girl with the 10,000 kiss check wanted to talk. We did so for about an hour. Basically, she wanted to know what had happened to us. I told her that after how our last date had gone, I had decided she had found someone else or just didn’t want to be around me anymore.

She then went on to tell me that she had just been upset, because her mother and stepdad had been arguing and it had looked as if they were going to separate. We went on to talk in what I can only say was a friendly but poignant conversation for both of us. After that weekend, I never saw her again.

When you look at what went wrong between us, it is what goes wrong with so many relationships --- the failure to communicate. If she had let me know what she was going through, I would have understood and tried to console her, let her talk, or whatever she needed. As it was, she held it in and gave me no chance. I then took her attitude as rejection.

Communication problems or poor communication cause huge problems in every facet of our lives. In marriage, business, etc. Good communication is so very important.

Recently, Cynthia spoke of her problem with depression. Imagine what it could be like, in our marriage, if I wasn’t aware. What if she was hiding what she was going through and I thought any problems we had were due to her lack of feelings for me? What if she was going through these things and felt that I was uncaring?

Obviously, problems could occur. I have seen couples divorce that I would have thought would have been the last to have problems. On the other hand, I know a couple, that if I had been a betting man, I would have bet you that their marriage wouldn’t have lasted 5 years! They were both ridiculously hot tempered and stubborn. But they have been married for around 34 years now.

One of the steps they have taken in their marriage, is that once a month, they have a night planned where they sit down and have a serious discussion about anything or things that the other one might be doing or not doing that is bothering them. They converse. They let each other know their feelings.

There might be a lesson there for us all. In a time where everyone is always texting one another, talking to each other on facebook, etc., maybe we as couples need to just sit down and have an old time, heart to heart conversation.

From the Hillbilly’s Corner!

My Hillbilly is my best friend, so it's easy to share my feelings with him. Have you known couples that split because they failed to communicate?

No One Invited Me, But Here I Am

2013-03-15T19:27:00.000-07:00

There's a link party going on, and I wasn't invited. For those of you who don't know, a link party involves a bunch of bloggers writing on the same topic or general theme and posting a link to their post on the same page. Each blogger is also supposed to invite other bloggers to join.

Well, no one has invited me yet, so I'm just jumping in on the meme without anyone's permission. Okay, no one's permission is really needed if a blogger wants to write about the topic. In fact, having stumbled on to the link page, I'd be welcome to add my link if the page hadn't already closed before I got there.

You know how I hate to be pushy. Really I do. I'll just quietly have my own little party without trying to actually join the link party.

And yeah, the whole linky thing already closed, so there's that. Oh, well. Here we go.

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
10 years ago I was dating the wrong man. Fortunately I broke up with Mr. Wrong before I met My Hillbilly. The day before. Really. I'm going to credit God's providence with the timing. I broke up with Mr. Wrong on a Friday, and The Hillbilly introduced himself to me on Saturday.

2. What 5 things are on your to-do list?
Repair Jill's necklace.
Make jewelry that has been ordered.
Take pictures of jewelry that has been made and get it up on Etsy (does that count as one or two?).

White Swarovski pearls, mint green crystals, and silver-plated beads.

Grade papers before I have to turn in report card grades on Thursday.
After grading the papers, record the grades in the computer gradebook. How did teachers ever figure out grades before computers? I have parents who want a weekly update of their kid's grade. I can't imagine being able to do that without the computer. When I was in school, back when the world was young, we had to wait until the end of the quarter to find out our grades.

3. What are 5 snacks you enjoy?
Popcorn
Ruffles brand potato chips and onion dip made from Lipton soup mix. All washed down with Pepsi Throwback
Anything chocolate
Those energy bars you buy in the bakery department at Costco.
Little chocolate donuts.

4. Name some things you would do if you were a millionaire.
Get a lifetime pass to Disneyland and stay in the Grand Californian!

Source: expedia.com via Cynthia on Pinterest

Buy a family compound so that we and all our children could live on the same piece of land, and the grandchildren could come visit whenever they wanted, but their parents could still have some privacy.

Wait...how big a millionaire? Just one million? I guess I'm finished.

5. Name some places you have lived.

I'm a California girl all the way through.
Born in San Diego
Moved to Santa Ana, CA, 5 miles from Disneyland
Manteca, CA (Don't worry. No one else ever heard of it either.)
From there I drifted south for a while:
Ceres, CA
Turlock, CA
Hilmar, CA
And then finally turned around to get closer to my mama in Manteca and ended up here in Salida, CA.

Well, that's the end of the party for me. I hope you enjoyed getting to know a little more about me. Next week, I'm going to let The Hillbilly say a few things, but I'll be back too; don't you worry.

How would you answer any of these questions? Where were you 10 years ago, anyway?

The Wicked English Teacher Can't Stand it Anymore!

2013-03-12T19:17:00.000-07:00

It's Wicked English Teacher Wednesday, and I have just one question:

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

Okay. I'll quit yelling. Here's the problem. Y'all keep mixing up "your" and "you're." You've got to stop it this instant! I'm going to tell you what I really think. You know the difference; you're just too lazy to take the time to add an apostrophe and an E. There! I said it.

Let's take a quiz to prove it:

Fill in the blank with either "your" or "you're."
1. _____ going to have to learn to take pride in _____ work, or The Wicked English Teacher is going to throw it all in the trash!
2. The Wicked English Teacher has been missing for a while, but I'm sure _____ happy that she has returned to correct the mess _____ making of the Internet.
3. If _____ writing doesn't improve, The Wicked English Teacher is going to take a red pen to all _____ status updates.
Answers are at the bottom of the page.

You do know the rule. "Your" means something belongs to you. "You're" is a contraction for "you are."

This is all your fault. The fault belongs to you.
You're going to have to pay more attention. You are not paying enough attention.

Okay. Here's the thing. It was bad enough when it was just random status updates and tweets. Now the problem has even moved in to some of my favorite blogs. That's right! Blog posts written by really good writers whom I respect and admire.

Today I read this on the blog of a woman whom I love like a daughter and who usually doesn't make this type of mistake: "So... what your saying is..." Girl! I know you know better. Just because you're chasing a toddler and nursing a newborn and working a full time job while also writing your blog is no excuse for sloppiness. Do not disappoint The Wicked English Teacher again.

In addition to status updates, tweets, and otherwise excellent blog posts, this error is markedly common in those "inspiring" or "cute" pictures/quotes that get passed around on Facebook. You know the ones:

In addition to being more syrupy than inspiring, these misspelled admonitions give me a headache. You people need to stop sharing these horrible things even if you do have true friends in your life..!

Now let's go back to that quiz.

Quiz answers:

1. You're going to have to learn to take pride in your work, or The Wicked English Teacher is going to throw it all in the trash!
2. The Wicked English Teacher has been missing for a while, but I'm sure you're happy that she has returned to correct the mess you're making of the Internet.
3. If your writing doesn't improve, The Wicked English Teacher is going to take a red pen to all your status updates.

Okay. I'm glad to finally get that off my chest. I hope you've got this straight once and for all. Now go, and annoy The Wicked English Teacher no more!

Modcloth Contest!

2013-03-12T16:47:00.000-07:00

ModCloth has one of the coolest new contests going on the web right now! From today through 7 AM PST on 3/18, ModCloth is inviting community members to check out their brand new Style Gallery, upload a photo, love images and share the looks that inspire them throughout the week of 3/11-3/18. The image that gains the highest community-generated loves will win the top prize of a $100 ModCloth gift card! The other exciting part, you ask? Two random lovers of that winning image will also each score a $50 gift card! Head over to ModCloth right now to participate in the Style Gallery or maybe just check out all of the great fashions available!

Extra Style Gallery Details

How will winners be selected, you ask?
The owner of the image with the most ‘loves’ between 7 a.m. PT 3/11 and 7 a.m. PT 3/18 will win a $100 ModCloth gift card.

When will winners be announced?
ModCloth will contact the winners via email by 3/22 and announce the winners on the blog at 7 a.m. PT 3/27.

I am being reimbursed for this blog post, but I would never share any product or company that I didn't love and think you'd love too!

Meanwhile, Back at the Junior High

2013-03-07T14:17:00.000-08:00

Here at the junior high school, one of the elective classes is being a student aide for a teacher. I have one such aide who helps me with things like grading tests and stapling papers. This young man also happens to be a student in my class of gifted and advanced students.

Gifted students are....interesting.

This particular student cracks me up. He never intends to, but he does. He's just so earnest!

For your enjoyment I offer you: Tidbits from my student aide:

He was quite overjoyed when I allowed him to become my aide. His first question was, "Don't you think I should have my own key to the room?"

No. No I don't.

When he sat down to grade papers the first time, he asked, "Now, I can just grade these however I want, right?"

No. No you can't.

I like to put stickers on tests when a student gets 100%. So he asked if he could have stickers to do that too. Finally something I could say yes to. I gave him a package of happy face stickers, and he went off joyfully.

A few days later he saw me putting stars on some papers. "Stars? Why don't I have stars?"

Ummm....because you have happy faces?

I set him up with his own little table in one corner of the room where he could come in and do his work. After the first day, he asked, "Can I make a sign that says 'Student Aide's Office'?"

Sure, kid. Knock yourself out.

Aren't kids fun? I really enjoy the crazy things they say. Has a kid entertained you lately? Tell me about it in the comments.

Sharing My Craftiness

2013-03-06T18:03:00.000-08:00

I've never thought of myself as a "crafty" person. My mom is very artistic, and so is my daughter. I'm the generation that got skipped.

When Alyssa recommended that I start making stamped metal jewelry as an additional source of income, I discovered jewelry making. She'll be the first to tell you that she did not recommend that I make beaded jewelry; she specifically said stamped metal. But who listens to her?

Stamped and hammered copper with Swarovski crystal hearts in birthstone colors of my children.

Mixed metal necklace stamped with names and baby feet

When I started looking at the jewelry supply web sites, I fell in love with the Swarovski crystals. I have stamped metal jewelry listed on my Etsy site, and I enjoy making it, but I LOVE the beaded jewelry!

Here are a few of my newest favorites:

Swarovski crystals, Czech glass, semi-precious stones all in one bracelet!

I've got a lot more finished, but I need to take pictures. I'm not especially happy with any of the pictures I've taken; they never seem sharp enough. I'm not sure what I need to do to improve them. If you've got suggestions, I'll listen.

I'm still working on my comeback from depression and fighting off a pile of fatigue and lethargy. I'm really grateful to those of you who are sticking with me.

I'll be back in a day or so with some quotes from my student aide, a kid who just generally cracks me up.

It’s Time to Talk About Depression

2013-02-28T20:44:00.000-08:00

You all know that I like to keep things light on my little blog; it even says so right on my About Me page. So most of the time I share life’s little absurdities as well as life’s little irritations, but I don’t delve into the more serious areas of life. Today, however, I feel that I need to explain my sudden absence from my blog. (I hope someone somewhere has noticed that there’s been a sudden absence!)

For several months now I've been fighting off a bout of depression, an illness that has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. Depression is a treatable illness, and most people’s symptoms can be alleviated with medication and/or talk therapy. Some of us who suffer from long-term depression (dysthymia) keep our symptoms under control most of the time, but even with medication, it rears its ugly head from time to time.

What brings it on? Everything. Or nothing. One of those.

By Constance Marie Charpentier Creator:Constance Marie Charpentier (Web Gallery of Art: Image Info about artwork) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

The problem with depression is that it’s a liar. The depressed person (I) begins to feel down, just kind of “blue” or not right. Her (my) energy begins to wane and the negative feelings deepen. She (I) begins to engage in “negative self-talk” which causes further feelings of sadness and despair, which causes more negative self-talk. Medication doesn’t cure the illness, but it makes it possible to think clearly enough to see through the lies of depression.

Lately I’ve been believing the lies: I’m not a good enough teacher, a good enough wife, a good enough blogger, a good enough mom. I’m just not enough.

By Eliseo Sala (1813 – 1879) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Like other depressed people, when I begin to believe the lies, I see supporting evidence all around me. I won’t go into all of the areas of self-loathing, but I had evidence that I’m not a good blogger. People quit commenting. If they aren’t commenting, then they aren’t reading, and if they aren’t reading, it’s because I suck. There’s no other possible explanation.

http://www.healthyplace.com/images/stories/insight/quotes/depression-quote-04.jpg

Well, I’m just to the point where I’m entertaining the possibility that there could be other explanations. Maybe.

Depressed people tend to treat their feelings as evidence of what’s real. I feel worthless; therefore I am worthless. As I said, medication doesn’t make the symptoms go away, but it makes it possible to see through the lies. I’m trying really hard right now to “feel” like the negative thoughts are lies, and not reality.

Heinrich Hoerle [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

The first step to feeling okay is to act okay. So I’m back.

I’m getting some help, and I’m feeling my way back to normalcy a little at a time. Even writing this out has helped.

It’s funny. When I sat down to write this post, I thought I would do some research and share facts and information about depression. I really hadn’t intended to write so much about my personal situation. Once I started writing, it just all came out.

Tomorrow, I’ll share that research. Today I just want to let you know I’m back, and I’m better, and I’m enough.

A Real Question for The Hillbilly

2013-02-07T00:30:00.000-08:00

Hey, look! One of these questions for The Hillbilly is from a real person! I'll give you a hint. It's not one of the first two.

Dear Hillbilly
Obviously, from your last Dear Hillbilly posting, I take it that you are not a big fan of people wearing flip flips. So what do you think about high heels.
Sherry

Who cares what he thinks? How cute are these? On sale at Designer Shoes!

Dear Sherry
Well Sherry, I always found them to be uncomfortable! Just joking! In New York City, I did see a guy about 6’ tall and 250 lbs. wearing a short skirt, fishnet hose and high heels. In a city where everyone has seen about everything and is fairly accepting of fruit cakes, fruit pies, etc. everyone was still staring and laughing. Fortunately, he didn’t go crazy, (crazier), and start trying to kill everyone with the heels! I mean, I almost died laughing anyway!

I am losing focus here. I am sure you are talking about high heels being worn by women---hopefully! Anyway, high heels are designed to make women’s legs look longer and by the way they elevate a woman’s heel, to make the calf muscles be more defined. This of course makes the legs look more shapely. This works pretty well. Most women look pretty good in them at least while standing still.

Cynthia, who just likes shoes period, has a hard time passing up any kind of cute or pretty pairs of shoes. I think she once showed a pair of her red high heels on one of her posts!

Don't be silly. That was on Facebook. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL RED SHOES IN THE WORLD!

At any rate, there can be problems with them. The heel length should probably be limited to how well you can walk in high heels. If you walk wobbly, like a small child learning to walk or like me on stilts, then I don’t care how pretty the shoes are or how good they make your legs look, they just make you look like a hayseed or a klutz. On the other hand, some people act as if they were born in them! When my daughter was two, we spent a lot of time with couples from church. Many of the women would kick off their heels. My daughter would put them on, and somehow hold them on with her toes. She not only walked well with them , but could run and jump over peoples legs with them. It was probably a sign, because much to my dismay, she went on to travel around the world while modeling.

Anyway, I guess you have to make the decision: am I wobbly walker, a stiff robotic walker, or smooth and graceful walker in high heels. If you wind up on your nose, or need to oil your knees, the answer will probably come to you! You might want to go to more of a wedge type of heel. They seem to be much easier to walk in and give the same basic effect on the legs.

Dear Hillbilly
I know that you are from Southern Missouri, so kind of from the South. So what do you think of grits?
Shirley

I'd just like to say, "EEEWWW!" Thank you.

Dear Shirley
Grits are not my favorite. However, they are better that the pits and way better than the sh-----, (diarrhea), if you know what I mean.

Where do people come up with questions like this?

Dear Hillbilly
You are married to a writer and lifetime student of English Word(s). I am like your wife, a writer and former English Teacher. Writers are known to be a high-maintenance, crazy lot. What is your general advice for spouses, like my long suffering wife, of writers?
Sincerely Lance

Dear Lance
I clicked on your avatar and saw that you are much younger and better looking than I. Hmm! I may be jealous.

Follow Lance on Twitter and on his blog.

Since you are big into English, you are obviously bright and ~~crazier than~~, I mean crazy like a fox! As far as advice for Mrs. Lance, I suggest that when Lance is railing about imperfection in both the written and spoken word, only roll your eyes, (and you will roll your eyes), when turned away from him. When you laugh, (and you will laugh), seem to be coughing.

I admit, sometimes I roll my eyes and laugh out loud. When Cynthia starts bulling up, I hug her and laugh louder! Then I add a few kisses to the neck, etc. This then lends itself to other possibilities. So, Mrs. Lance, if this doesn’t work, and Lance just isn’t seeing the possibilities in this, he may not be as bright as I first thought!

From the Hillbilly’s Corner!

He is so embarrassing. Yes, he's good at distracting me, but embarrassing nonetheless.
And why does he only make up women's names? What does this mean? Should I be worried?
Also, does ANYONE actually like grits? Questions that need answers!