Commonplace Crazy

10 Things I Know About Being a Mom

2013-05-22T19:44:00.000-07:00

Well, Mother's Day has come and gone, and I never did get my Mother's Day post up. This whole procrastination/depression/anxiety disorder thing is getting annoying. Brain chemicals are tricky things, and they seem to enjoy being sneaky and popping chaos and/or lethargy into your life when you least expect them. I don't want the tricky brain chemicals to win, so I'm going to go ahead and finish my Mother's Day post, just to show them who's boss. That would be me, although if you've been hanging around me lately, you might not believe that.

On the other hand, it's getting late, and this might not be exactly the post I had originally planned. Just sayin'.

So without further ado, welcome to my Mother's Day post.

I'd like to share what I've learned over the years about being a mom. None of this wisdom came from my own brilliance. I've been blessed to know many good moms over the years, especially my own!

No one knows what the face I'm making is about. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

10 5 Things I know About Being a Mom.

1. It's not easy, but it's worth it.

Being a mom is tough. For one thing you never know if you're doing it right, and getting it right matters so very, very much! Also, you know that old saying, "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you"? It's true. As a mom, you have to do things you don't want to do, but you know it's what's best for your child. And then there are the nights sitting up with a feverish child worrying yourself sick. None of it's easy. But what a hole there would be in my life if I didn't have those children!

My kids--My car. Thanks.

Anyway, it's necessary to raise the children so you can get some grandkids. Now there's a reward for your hard work!! So, no putting the kids up for adoption when they get difficult. No stopping this car and leaving them by the side of the freeway. I mean, sure you can threaten, but you really just can't do that.

2. Every child is different, and that's okay.

Just when you get your first child figured out and start to feel like you might be getting this parenting thing down, along comes a whole new person to show you that you still know nothing. So you've got a little girl learning her letters on Sesame Street, and your little boy is too busy climbing to the highest point in the house to care about Big Bird or Grover, and certainly not wimpy little Elmo. Or in your case it may have been a little boy reading books and a girl mixing "scientific formulas" with the cleaning fluids. But how boring would it be to raise the same child more than once? Variety is the spice of life, so they say, and I'm sure it's true.

Alyssa, feet firmly planted on the ground, and Ben ... not so much.

3. A mom's job is to help her children be whoever they already are.

We don't get to turn our children into whoever we want them to be. (I wish I could have convinced my ex-husband of that.) Kids are already someone when they're born. We can't turn an introvert into an extrovert. We can't turn a kid who's interested in science into a poet. Nor should we. All we can do is help them to be the best they can be, whoever they are. As my mom says, "All we can do is civilize them."

The four my mom tried to civilize.

4. We have to teach them to be independent, and that means letting them fall down once in a while.

One of those hard things we have to do is let our kids try things and allow them to fail. It seems like a lot of moms today want to protect their kids from anything remotely dangerous. I remember carving soap with a butter knife when I was very small. Ivory soap was best for that, by the way. When I was six I wanted an Easy Bake Oven. Instead my mom taught me to read a cake mix package and use the big oven!

Those same moms are the ones doing their children's science fair projects and editing their essays. Kids learn from trying, failing, and figuring out why they failed. You have to let them go, or they'll never learn to fly.

That's my boy, the climber

5. You're their mom, not their friend, but that doesn't mean you can't like each other.

You have to find the balance between being the authority figure and being their pal. There were lots of activities that Alyssa, Ben, and I enjoyed doing together. We had fun, we sang, we played games. And Disneyland! Don't get me started on Disneyland! But when the time came to set and enforce limits, they always knew I was the one in charge.

Alyssa, Ben and BFF Pam

Did they always like that? Of course not! They were kids! We argued, they got grounded, there were tears and anger. But we all still knew we loved each other. I didn't worry about them "liking" me. When they told me I was mean, I said, "Good. Then I'm doing my job." I think they got tired of hearing that, but it's true.

My kids back in the day

The bottom line is that Alyssa and Ben are close to me today. We still enjoy spending time together, and they know they can come to me when they need to talk. Yes, even though I grounded them!

My babies!

So there you go. Some random number of things I know about being a mom. I actually know other stuff about it, but I think that I've sufficiently whipped the brain chemicals and let them know who's in charge.

How about you? What are your best "being a mom" tips? What do you wish you had known before you started? What are you still trying to figure out? Leave a comment!

I'm linking up here!

Hillbilly Lawn Ornaments

2013-05-04T20:53:00.000-07:00

Today thoughts of spring have made My Hillbilly reflect back on the lovely yards he grew up with. Here he shares some Missouri gardening tips:

It is springtime and people are beginning to do yard work, planting, and decorating their yards. Being a hillbilly that grew up on a small farm, yard work for me was mostly mowing. Trimming around a house or flowers was just getting as close to them as I could get with a lawnmower. Mom did the flower thing and if she made it to where it was hard to mow, flowers “accidentally” got mowed also. One of the funnier plants she once ordered through the mail and planted had some fancy name but just wound up being what we call buck brush and grew wild all around us.

Missouri Buck Brush

But today, I want to talk about hillbilly decorations.

Hillbilly yard decorations vary from the more permanent to the more seasonal. One I remember seeing quite a lot when I was a boy, was old toilet stools made into planters. It was always a moving experience. Just think of the ingenuity to not waste something to which you had such a close relationship. And there might have even been some natural minerals and fertilizer there that did not go to waste. Just picture some bright orange flowers growing up out of the tank and purple flowers growing up from the stool. I mean, it just makes your heart sing! Other planters were made up of coffee cans, old dish pans, etc. Why let anything go to waste?

Seriously, one of the cuter yard decorations I remember having seen was one my aunt made up. She got one of my cousin's pair of old tennis shoes (I think they were size 16’s). She cut a hole in the toe of each one, a couple of other small holes and planted hen and chicks. It was actually quite cute.

Not the actual shoes worn by The Hillbilly's actual cousin

Sometimes you saw old wooden wheel farm wagons or real old farm equipment. ---- I guess they were decorations. It could have been that they had just been set aside, replaced, and not moved. Then of course, there were the old cars, on or off blocks, engines hanging from the trees, etc.

Other decorations you saw were bull skulls, (I have actually seen large fake human skulls made from concrete), old milk or cream cans, mail boxes with supports made from logging chains welded into some shape. Mail box supports made from old wheels, etc. My parent’s box was kind of plain. It was just an old milk can with a 4x4 post with a box mounted on it. Years ago, I had one all welded up that poison sumac grew up on. It was really pretty, but the mail man left me a note saying that if I wanted mail, I would have to remove the sumac. Mostly, my parents and I were just into functionality.

Speaking of functionality, due to a rash of mail box damage by idiots driving by and bashing mail boxes with bats (probably by them there city folk), a friend of mine got an old round tank, filled it full of concrete, filled pipe with concrete, and made an almost indestructible mail box. He figured it would almost break someone’s arm if they drove by and hit it with a bat. Unfortunately, one of his neighbors hit it with a car first. It flipped the car. It was one mean mailbox.

Temporary decorations could vary depending upon how hillbilly the hillbilly was. During good catfishing weather, I have seen yard fence post, (wooden fence post), with every post having a large catfish head decorating them, (mouth pushed over the post). It was a decoration that made a statement --- look how good of a fisherman I am! Of course there were the really temporary decorations of deer hanging from the trees or occasionally tied on the hood of the truck, (hillbilly hood ornament).

Cynthia's Note: I found pictures of catfish heads on fence posts. You don't want to see them. You're welcome.

The Ozarks are more modern now and have better decorations, like fake deer. They have become pretty realistic. I knew of some road hunters, (against the law), that drove by a yard one evening and saw one of them there decorative deer. It was a buck with a good set of antlers. They were wishing it was real. As they started driving off, the ornament walked off into the woods!

Is it real, or is it Memorex?

By now, I am sure that there are some of you city folk are laughing and making fun of these different hillbilly yard ornaments. I laugh at them too! However, I don’t remember a single hillbilly, in my neck of the woods, that had one of them stinking, stupid, plastic, pink flamingos in their yard. So there! We were more uptown than you thought!

Well, having said that, I think I will show this California neighborhood how to be tasteful in their yard decorating. I suspect that after I get started, that very soon, they will all be asking for my advice on what to do with their yards, particularly after I have a good catfishing trip!

From the Hillbilly’s Corner!

Sigh. Well, while I go deal with the Homeowners' Association, why don't you all leave some comments about the most interesting and/or unusual yard decorations you've seen.

Maybe You Didn't Know: Proofreading the Internet

2013-04-30T20:09:00.000-07:00

You all know me. You know I try to be patient when you totally ignore every rule that your poor English teacher tried so hard to teach you while you were fixing your makeup, flirting with the boy in the next row, and passing notes to your bestie across the room.

Really I try.

Really.

But I can only take so much, and then it just all comes bubbling out in a Wicked English Teacher rant. We have reached that point. It is time.

Get ready to pay attention!

Now I'm going to try to take it easy on you. Maybe you just didn't know there were rules to spelling and punctuation and so on. How could you have known? I mean, that homecoming float wasn't going to build itself now, was it? You can't have been expected to listen to everything your English teacher said. It was just all "nouns" this and "semi-colon" that. Who knows what hideous prom dress you would have ended up with if you hadn't hidden that Seventeen Magazine inside your grammar book!

March 1989

So let me share some things with you that you might not know because you were too ~~dimwitted~~, er, busy, to pay attention in class. All of these examples come from various websites I have visited in the last month or so.

Maybe you didn't know: "Besides the point" is incorrect. The correct phrase is "beside the point." As in, "I thought your prom gown looked pretty tacky anyway, but that's beside the point."

Speaking of "tacky," maybe you didn't know: Manufacturers pretty much always put the correct spelling of their product right on the label. This is directed at the hot cocoa addict who wrote "I pop cocoa like Tick-Taks people."

No. No, you don't.

In addition to misspelling the product name, this writer left out the comma before the word "people." I'm sure the rest of you were paying attention when your teachers, (All of them! Starting in about the third grade until you graduated, assuming you graduated.) told you to use a comma before and after a noun of direct address. In other words, when you're talking to someone, separate their name (people) from the rest of the sentence by using commas.

Another writer mentioned the "high lite of my day." Don't even get me started. Spell the words, people! There will be no "slang" spelling on my Internet! Thank you. And by the way, "highlight" is one word. You're welcome.

Someone, I believe it was on a cooking blog, said that "A purest probably would not approve..." I'm confused. The word "purest" is a superlative adjective. It means "most pure" and comes after "pure, purer..." Someone who insists things be done correctly is a "purist." Maybe you didn't know. Now you do.

"...keep the ribbon taught." Hee hee hee. Maybe you didn't know that you can't teach ribbons. You can barely teach people. Trust me! You can however keep a ribbon taut, meaning "stretched tight."

Someone was concerned whether a Flexi clip will work in "course hair" Well, of course they work in coarse hair! Not so much in "course" hair. Sorry.

Finally, maybe you didn't know that you can't take advise. Really, you can't! I advise you to take as much good advice as you can get, but don't take it from the person who wrote, "This is good advise!"

There! I feel better now. Did you learn anything you didn't already know? What errors have you run across lately that bring out The Wicked English Teacher in you? Leave me a comment! Thanks.

Mother's Day Shopping List

2013-04-25T19:24:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day is fast approaching, and my inbox is filled with offers from the advertisers with whom I'm affiliated. They've got a lot of great deals for you, and I'm happy to share the very best offers that have come across my computer screen. As always, I earn a little bit if you decide to purchase, but I never recommend anything I don't believe in. These are great companies, and you can feel safe ordering from them.

Flirty Aprons has, well, flirty aprons! I love their styles, and your mom will too. I own two of them and bought one for my daughter as well. Right now you can save 40% AND get free shipping!

Here's the deal: 40% Off + Free Domestic Shipping (First Class & Priority) Good through 05/05/13. code MOMSDEAL40

MixBook has really great photo books and personalized greeting cards. Check out their prices and selection before you buy anywhere else.

Follow this link: Save 50% on Mixbook's Biggest and Best Photo Books!

Another good source for customized Mother's Day cards is Tiny Prints. Their selection of cards is always unique. Jump on this sale right away. It ends April 30.

You can also get 15% Off Photo Gifts, Custom Stamps, iPhone Cases and More.

A lot of moms appreciate flowers, and you can't go wrong with Teleflora. I've used them for years to send flowers to my grandmother. They always come through with a beautiful arrangement delivered on time.

I love The Body Shop! I could spend hours in their store just sampling and sniffing all the difference lotions and potions they carry. If your mom loves their goodies (Ben and Alyssa, that's a hint), take advantage of their big sale going on right now.

How cool is this? Mom can make her own Starbucks coffee right at home! I haven't tried this machine, but it's being sold direct from Starbucks, so it's not some knock-off.

Does your mom like shiny goodies? Well, let me remind you, I'm the queen of shiny goodies! Don't forget to shop my Lilla Rose Flexi Clip page for shiny goodies like this:

Then be sure to visit my Etsy shop Simply Cynful Jewelry by Cynthia where you'll find lovely Mother's Necklaces:

Mixed metal personalized necklace, baby feet, hand-stamped

Mother's Necklace with two Swarovski crystal birthstone hearts and two sterling initial charms on a silver-filled chain.

Hammered copper pendant, hand-stamped, birthstones, mothers necklace

Mother's Necklace with one Swarovski crystal birthstone heart and one sterling initial charm on a silver-filled chain.

So there you are. Now get shopping. Get your mom something she'll love because our moms deserve the very best. And happy Mother's Day to all of my readers who are also moms because you are awesome!

Be sure to let me know what you think of my recommendations. Leave a comment and tell me what you think of the companies I've selected.

The Hillbilly Reflects on Boston

2013-04-23T21:02:00.002-07:00

My Hillbilly has something he wants to talk about, and I'm just going to let him get right to it:

Due to recent news events, I got to thinking about my childhood. I remember such things as my first attempt at keeping a bicycle upright. A neighbor had me get on his son’s bike and gave me a running push down a narrow barbwire fenced trail between his fields. In retrospect, it was probably not a well thought out idea. Obviously, I crashed but survived without too many scratches.

I remember getting my first bicycle on my 8th birthday. It was actually my oldest sister’s bicycle that had been shined up and had new tubes and tires put on it. Yeah, I learned to ride a bike on a girl’s bicycle! Do you want to make something of it? I didn’t get to try to ride it that night or even have birthday cake because we rushed off to where I had my first ride in a plane.

We flew from Lebanon, Missouri to Tulsa, Oklahoma and then back. We were in my uncle’s airplane. He was taking his mother back to her home, and since it was my birthday, Dad worked it out to where we got to tag along. If any of you remember the television show Sky King the plane looked just like it. Being just then 8 years old without any previous flying experience, I thought it was really loud and really cool, except for the occasion of when the plane died as we were flying over a large lake. Then, for a short time it got very quiet and uncool.

Again, obviously, we didn’t crash, since I am able to keep you enthralled and on the edge of your seats as you read this. Shortly after that, I signed up to play Little League baseball. They made me into a pitcher and showed me how to so the wind up and release. I remember going to stores with my mom and while she shopped, standing off to the side and practicing my windup and release, over and over again. It was a good year!

The Hillbilly Boy

As to the reason I am writing this, it is because I can. I am still alive to tell you about some of these things! I am old enough to tell you about experiences over a large period of years, more years than seem possible because it seems like such a short time. I can tell you about my experiences, my children, my grandchildren and so on.

I say all this because recently, a little 8 year old’s life and others’ lives were ended, and others’ lives forever changed by some cowardly people who placed bombs at the Boston Marathon. I saw the little boy’s picture, his little smiling face topped off with a ball cap. Usually these things make me worry about my grandchildren, friends’ children, everyone’s children. But this time it reminded me of my ball cap, my youth and my yesteryears. This little eight year old, just as the Sandy Hook children, will never get to reach his potential. We all wonder why and we all grieve!

Martin Richard

As a person who is in his right mind (kind of) I believe it is impossible to understand the acts of crazy people, and they are one of the very few things that frighten me. As for these radical people, they may actually be crazy also! I do know that neither will ever have my respect! Anyone who blows up innocent people, kills innocent children, sometimes making their own children into human bombs or giving their children over to radical groups to become bombs, does not deserve anyone’s respect! Anyone who does all of the above, then after an attack, uses children and innocent people as shields, knowing that good people (much better than they ever will be) will refrain from attacking them to keep innocents from being harmed, do not deserve anyone’s respect. They deserve only to be scorned and possibly pitied for having such a hate that it eats them up and ruins both theirs and other’s lives!

Young Afghan School Girls from Herat

Anyone who tries to force people to live by their religion, rather than let the people make their own choice as to how they live, is seriously confused as to God’s wishes! From what I read, God made us to where we could make choices. He wants us to live for Him and I believe it is best that we do. But He only wants us to do so if we choose to do so. To go through the motions because of the fear that people will kill you if you don’t does not meet His requirements and is a complete waste of time!

Malala Yousafzai, the teenage girl shot by the Taliban for promoting girls' education

One thing that is obvious, crazy people are amongst us! Radicals are amongst us! Criminals are amongst us! They always have been. All the laws in the world will not change that! They only obey the laws they choose to obey! We can never change enough laws to make them obey them. The only people affected by law changes are those who obey them, law abiding citizens. In other words, good people, the majority of us, get punished, give away our rights, etc. to (mistakenly) feel safer, and to (mistakenly) make us feel as if our government is doing something. Of course they are continually doing something ---- spending lots of our money!

During the prohibition people still got and drank alcohol. We have laws against drugs; people still are able to get them. If all guns were made illegal, criminals would still be able to get them. When things are made illegal, it just creates illegal markets! Actually, there is already a worldwide market of weapons that come from militaries.

Prohibition Era Prescription Form for "Medicinal" Alcohol. Sound Familiar?

I wish that I could tell you that things are going to get better, safer, and more secure, but they are probably not. Probably the best thing you can do besides pray, is to live your life, help others, and to learn to be watchful. Law enforcement generally is of help after the fact. So mostly you are responsible for your own welfare! Lots of time when things are not right, they won’t look right. Learning to see what doesn’t look right around you can be your best defense. This is something I had to learn once I started working in the large cities. I got very close to being jumped by two hoodlums but was kept from harm by a buddy that saw it happening. Since then, I have been much more aware!

Use your Hillbilly Senses. Be Safe!

From the Hillbillies’s Corner

If There Be Any Virtue

2013-04-16T21:50:00.000-07:00

I had a Wicked English Teacher post ready to go, but frankly we've had enough wickedness for a while. So instead, I want to share with you the brightness of humanity. These are some of my students. They are 13 and 14 years old. They give us hope for the future.

Katy volunteers with the elderly, raking leaves and cleaning house; puts together hygiene kits for people in need, ties baby quilts for needy children, and donated eight inches of hair to Locks of Love.

Ashley helps organize a Thanksgiving canned food drive, organized, signed and passed out Christmas cards for seniors, helped feed the homeless, and helped with a toy drive. She would like to teach elementary school. Her goal is to join or start an organization to feed the homeless every week.

Hannah organized a lanyard sale and raised money for a local animal shelter. She planned and facilitated Christmas caroling at a senior center, collected supplies for military care packages, and helped with a junior livestock camp and farm yard experience. She would like to become a geneticist.

Marlowe served in children's ministry, helped with the Love Our Cities projects, served in a convalescent home, helped build homes in Mexico and helped feed families in need.

Amarpreet writes Christmas Cards for the senior center, feeds the unfortunate, helps with the toy drive, made Thanksgiving food baskets for the needy, and helped distribute food at the Nagar Kirtan every year. She wants to become a heart surgeon or radiologist.

Emily helps make and distribute baby blankets to the hospital and leads singing, plays music, runs crafts, and plays bingo at retirement homes. She would like to be an engineer, author, or nuclear physicist.

Another Emily helps feed the homeless and volunteers with Monkey Business, helping kids whose loved ones have cancer.

Ellen volunteers at a local senior center doing "Fancy Fingertips," painting some of the ladies' nails. She also assists with sewing and distributing baby blankets to the hospital, and volunteers with the project to provide holiday food packages to the needy.

It's easy to get discouraged when horrific things happen around us, but these kids remind me daily that the world is not purely evil, that there are good hearts out there. The future is not all bleak with kids like this growing into adulthood.

Let's keep the good thoughts going! What positive thing have you seen that gives you hope? Share in the comments so we can bear one another up in these trying times.

... whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Philippians 4:8

5 Reasons Why Life is Better After 50

2013-04-13T22:08:00.000-07:00

So I turned 54 last month, the same age as Barbie. Actually I'm ten days younger than Barbie. Mattel gave birth to Barbie on March 9, 1959 at a New York Toy Fair. I didn't come along until the 19th.

Still, even though she's slightly older, Barbie seems to have aged much better than I have. Personally, I think she's had some work done. I mean, look at how immovable her face is! Barbie has definitely taken Botox to the extreme. I may be wrinkled, but I'm real. Just sayin'.

But that's not what I came to talk about today. I mean Barbie. I did come to talk about being 54.

So here's the thing. I talk about my aches and pains the way I always thought old people did. I have a lot of history behind me that translates into wisdom which comes with age. At work I am the oldest teacher in the language arts department. Next year, after this year's retirees leave, another 54 year old and I will be the oldest teachers in the school.

Oldest teacher in the school!

When my mom was 54, I thought she was old. After all, she was a grandma. Like I am.

My mom, dad and daughter.

Look how pretty she was! She doesn't look old at all! And here's the thing. I don't feel old either. Deep in my heart, even though I can accept it rationally, I just don't believe I'm old. I'm NOT old. No matter how trite it sounds, I'm actually better than I used to be. 50 was a new beginning. I don't know exactly why, but so much is easier after 50.

In fact, let me share 5 reasons why life is better after 50 (you knew I was going to work that title in somewhere, right?).

1. I care a lot less about what other people think of me. Really. I don't mean I don't care if I hurt other people. I'm still a caring person. I just don't need other people's approval for the decisions I make or who I am. Maybe it's just that I don't have enough energy to think about it very much. Or because I don't have much time left, and I don't want to waste it worrying about what people think about things that are none of their business anyway.

2. I know what's important in life. I'm really comfortable with my priorities in a way that I haven't always been. I'm content with the things I have because I've surrounded myself with the people I love. I'll leave the rat race to the rats.

4 our of 5 grandchildren

3. I have grandchildren. Okay, technically, I did have a grandchild before I was 50, but you get my point.

The Princess and The Monster

4. I want to put this delicately. I'm beyond childbearing, and this makes...everything...better and much more relaxed. If you know what I mean.

My mama, my sisters, and I

5. I'm just really comfortable in my skin. I'm looking my age, and mostly that's okay. I mean, if you offered to magically make me look 25, I'd take it, but that's not going to happen. My hair has streaks of gray, and they're going to stay there and invite company. I'm not interested in covering them up. I earned them. I raised Ben and Alyssa, for pity's sake! I teach 8th grade!! Those are my gray hairs, and I stand by every one of them. Those wrinkles around my eyes? Too many years of laughter and smiling. Sometimes I was smiling through the tears, but I've always had reasons to smile. Ben and Alyssa for example.

So there we are. I'm 54, and my soul doesn't feel any older than it ever was. I have a feeling when I'm 74, my inner being will still feel the same. Pretty sure those wrinkles and gray hairs will have increased significantly, but that's okay.

How about you? Are you comfortable with your age? What's good about your current age? Is there an age you'd rather be? Share in the comments.

You May Be a Grandma If...

2013-04-07T21:15:00.001-07:00

You know, life really changes when you become a grandma. It gets better and brighter in every way!

Let me show you some examples:

If you buy the Happy Meal when you're by yourself because you like to keep small toys in your purse "just in case" ... you may be a grandma

If you don't have any problem at all with this:

Miss Sunshine

...you may be a grandma!

If your living room floor is covered with toys, and no children live in your house...you may be a grandma!

The Princess

If you have ever said, "Well, I don't think just one cookie before dinner will hurt anything." ... you may be a grandma.

The Model

If you give your daughter a gift certificate for a mani-pedi just so you can babysit ... you may be a grandma.

The Athlete

If you've got Cheerios and Fruit Loops next to your high fiber cereal and Metamucil ... you may be a grandma.

The Monster

If there are children who know exactly which pocket of your purse the candy is kept in ... you may be a grandma.

Coming in September!

That's right!! Grandchild #6 is on the way! I can't wait to meet her!

Can you think of any other ways to tell if "you may be a grandma"? Share them in the comments section.

So I Did the Research

2013-04-02T23:37:00.000-07:00

I was hopping around the web today, and I came across the article "28 Incredibly Beautiful Places You Won't Believe Actually Exist." There are really some amazing pictures here, but there was very little actual information about the places. You really should pop over there and look at the pictures -- after you finish reading my blog, of course.

I was mildly curious about some of the spots until I came across this picture:

Original Source: World for Travel

I looked at these boats floating in a sea of Pepto-Bismol and was immediately curious to know more. Sadly, the article only included the information that this is Lake Retba, Sengal. Very little information indeed!

So I immediately decided it was time to do some research, and because I love you, I'm sharing what I learned so that you don't have to leave this page to find more information. You're welcome.

My first big question was, "Where in the world is Sengal, and why have I never heard of it?" I discovered that I had never heard of it because it's supposed to be "Senegal" which I have heard of! Senegal is a small African nation located ~~about~~ exactly where that green mark is:

Source: CIA Factbook

I learned quite a bit while researching this. At first I thought I had read two possible explanations for the color of the water. One theory was that it was due to a pink-colored algae in the water. The other explanation was that it was caused by a bacteria (cyanobacteria). However, when I looked up cyanobacteria , I read that it was actually a form of algae. Who knew?

BUT WAIT!! Further research showed that while cyanobacteria is often called blue-green algae, it's not really an algae at all! I hope you're all as thoroughly confused as I was. I was so confused that for a moment I actually considered calling my ex-husband the biology major. Fortunately, I got hold of myself and did what any intelligent, college-educated person would do. I found a page for kids:

http://www.dogonews.com/2012/6/7/the-secret-behind-senegals-pink-lake

There in language easy enough for a child to understand, DOGONews declares that the pink color is caused by an algae known as Dunaliella Salina. That's good enough for me.

In either case, it appears to have no ill effects on humans or wildlife.

Source

The salt content of the water is quite high (which makes people buoyant), and harvesting the salt is a major source of income for the local inhabitants.

Source

So to sum up: lots of salt and algae but no bacteria. Good for floating.

This whole event reminds me of the good old pre-Google days when we had to depend on The World Book Encyclopedia if we wanted to know anything. Every time one of the kids would ask me a question I didn't know the answer to, I made them go get the encyclopedia, and we looked it up. This drove them crazy.

One of my children regretting that he had asked, "What makes airplanes fly?"

In the spirit of payback, my daughter does the same thing to her children, except Google is somehow involved, which I think takes half the fun out of it.

How did you find information before Google? How do you answer the questions your children ask today?

As it turns out, by the way, there is another pink lake in Australia. That however, will have to wait for another blog post.

So The Princess is Seven

2013-04-02T02:30:00.000-07:00

My oldest granddaughter, The Princess, turned seven last week. It's hard to believe she's gotten that grown up already. It seems like just yesterday she looked like this:

The Cutest Baby Picture in the History of Baby Pictures!!

Of course, it only seems like the day before yesterday that her mommy looked like this:

One of the Cutest Baby Pictures in the History of Baby Pictures

But now, The Princess is a big girl, and she can dance! Check out this video from her school talent show. She's the pretty blonde with the bright blue shirt right in the middle.

Isn't she fantastic? Happy 7th Birthday to my Princess! Grandma loves you to pieces!

Ask the English Teacher: Adjectives, Adverbs, and Prepositional Phrases

2013-04-01T13:13:00.000-07:00

A reader asked: "I am helping my child with adverbs and adjectives and prepositional phrases. I am having a lot of trouble with it my self. The noble lord greedily collected many taxes and became rich. The brave knight in armor rushed blindly toward his foe."

Things to remember:
Adjectives describe nouns and pronouns. Adjective usually answer the question "what kind," "which one," "how much/many," or "whose."

In your examples,

What kind of lord? A noble lord
How many taxes? Many taxes
What kind of lord (did he become)? A rich lord
What kind of knight? A brave knight

Adverbs describe verbs, adjectives, and other adverbs. Adverbs usually answer the question "where," "when," "how," "how often," or "to what extent." Adverbs often end in -ly.

How did he collect taxes? Greedily collected
How did the knight rushed? Blindly rushed

Prepositional phrases begin with a preposition and end with a noun or pronoun. A preposition shows how that noun or pronoun relates to some other word in the sentence.

In armor tells us how the knight and the armor are related. The knight is in armor.
Toward his foe tells us how the knight and his foe are related. The knight is rushing toward his foe.

I hope this is helpful. For further help let me recommend lessontutor.com, a very helpful free website.

The Hillbilly's Take on Communication and Depression

2013-03-28T14:35:00.001-07:00

Here's my Hillbilly again, getting serious this time with some good advice.

I guess that if I was going to give this blog post a title, though it is really not the main theme, it would be the question – what could have been?

The other day, I was thinking about back when I was young, single, and still dating. Like most, I had my first love, (puppy love), and first broken heart! With that, I grew wiser and leery of having a steady girlfriend. In fact, I began just dating this one and that one without getting too serious with anyone.

During that time, at a church revival that was advertised as a young people’s meeting, we had a lot of young people come in from over a fairly large area of Missouri. Due to that, I met and spent some time with a young woman, a few years my junior. She was cute, sweet, funny, and had the biggest dimples I ever saw. She got my attention, and --- I got her phone number, address, etc. Being a young, romantic hillbilly, a couple of weeks later, I made her a paper that looked like a check and made it payable to her for 10,000 kisses. Hey, don’t laugh too hard! It worked! It led to some dates and a lot of kisses! In fact almost immediately, we were being drawn together.

So what happened? Well, since we lived quite a distance apart, we were not getting to see each other every day or even every week. The last day we got to see each other on a planned date, she was distant and didn’t act like she was enjoying being with me. She wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. So, I decided that she was no longer interested in me. I moved on!

A few months later, I began dating another girl. We were just beginning to get somewhat serious, when another congregation had a young people’s meeting. We attended. I had warned my girlfriend that we might run into a couple of girls there that I had dated previously. We did! They got together and sat right in front of us.

Then next day, my girlfriend had to work but I went back down to help out with the services. Afterwards, the girl with the 10,000 kiss check wanted to talk. We did so for about an hour. Basically, she wanted to know what had happened to us. I told her that after how our last date had gone, I had decided she had found someone else or just didn’t want to be around me anymore.

She then went on to tell me that she had just been upset, because her mother and stepdad had been arguing and it had looked as if they were going to separate. We went on to talk in what I can only say was a friendly but poignant conversation for both of us. After that weekend, I never saw her again.

When you look at what went wrong between us, it is what goes wrong with so many relationships --- the failure to communicate. If she had let me know what she was going through, I would have understood and tried to console her, let her talk, or whatever she needed. As it was, she held it in and gave me no chance. I then took her attitude as rejection.

Communication problems or poor communication cause huge problems in every facet of our lives. In marriage, business, etc. Good communication is so very important.

Recently, Cynthia spoke of her problem with depression. Imagine what it could be like, in our marriage, if I wasn’t aware. What if she was hiding what she was going through and I thought any problems we had were due to her lack of feelings for me? What if she was going through these things and felt that I was uncaring?

Obviously, problems could occur. I have seen couples divorce that I would have thought would have been the last to have problems. On the other hand, I know a couple, that if I had been a betting man, I would have bet you that their marriage wouldn’t have lasted 5 years! They were both ridiculously hot tempered and stubborn. But they have been married for around 34 years now.

One of the steps they have taken in their marriage, is that once a month, they have a night planned where they sit down and have a serious discussion about anything or things that the other one might be doing or not doing that is bothering them. They converse. They let each other know their feelings.

There might be a lesson there for us all. In a time where everyone is always texting one another, talking to each other on facebook, etc., maybe we as couples need to just sit down and have an old time, heart to heart conversation.

From the Hillbilly’s Corner!

My Hillbilly is my best friend, so it's easy to share my feelings with him. Have you known couples that split because they failed to communicate?

No One Invited Me, But Here I Am

2013-03-15T19:27:00.000-07:00

There's a link party going on, and I wasn't invited. For those of you who don't know, a link party involves a bunch of bloggers writing on the same topic or general theme and posting a link to their post on the same page. Each blogger is also supposed to invite other bloggers to join.

Well, no one has invited me yet, so I'm just jumping in on the meme without anyone's permission. Okay, no one's permission is really needed if a blogger wants to write about the topic. In fact, having stumbled on to the link page, I'd be welcome to add my link if the page hadn't already closed before I got there.

You know how I hate to be pushy. Really I do. I'll just quietly have my own little party without trying to actually join the link party.

And yeah, the whole linky thing already closed, so there's that. Oh, well. Here we go.

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
10 years ago I was dating the wrong man. Fortunately I broke up with Mr. Wrong before I met My Hillbilly. The day before. Really. I'm going to credit God's providence with the timing. I broke up with Mr. Wrong on a Friday, and The Hillbilly introduced himself to me on Saturday.

2. What 5 things are on your to-do list?
Repair Jill's necklace.
Make jewelry that has been ordered.
Take pictures of jewelry that has been made and get it up on Etsy (does that count as one or two?).

White Swarovski pearls, mint green crystals, and silver-plated beads.

Grade papers before I have to turn in report card grades on Thursday.
After grading the papers, record the grades in the computer gradebook. How did teachers ever figure out grades before computers? I have parents who want a weekly update of their kid's grade. I can't imagine being able to do that without the computer. When I was in school, back when the world was young, we had to wait until the end of the quarter to find out our grades.

3. What are 5 snacks you enjoy?
Popcorn
Ruffles brand potato chips and onion dip made from Lipton soup mix. All washed down with Pepsi Throwback
Anything chocolate
Those energy bars you buy in the bakery department at Costco.
Little chocolate donuts.

4. Name some things you would do if you were a millionaire.
Get a lifetime pass to Disneyland and stay in the Grand Californian!

Source: expedia.com via Cynthia on Pinterest

Buy a family compound so that we and all our children could live on the same piece of land, and the grandchildren could come visit whenever they wanted, but their parents could still have some privacy.

Wait...how big a millionaire? Just one million? I guess I'm finished.

5. Name some places you have lived.

I'm a California girl all the way through.
Born in San Diego
Moved to Santa Ana, CA, 5 miles from Disneyland
Manteca, CA (Don't worry. No one else ever heard of it either.)
From there I drifted south for a while:
Ceres, CA
Turlock, CA
Hilmar, CA
And then finally turned around to get closer to my mama in Manteca and ended up here in Salida, CA.

Well, that's the end of the party for me. I hope you enjoyed getting to know a little more about me. Next week, I'm going to let The Hillbilly say a few things, but I'll be back too; don't you worry.

How would you answer any of these questions? Where were you 10 years ago, anyway?

The Wicked English Teacher Can't Stand it Anymore!

2013-03-12T19:17:00.000-07:00

It's Wicked English Teacher Wednesday, and I have just one question:

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

Okay. I'll quit yelling. Here's the problem. Y'all keep mixing up "your" and "you're." You've got to stop it this instant! I'm going to tell you what I really think. You know the difference; you're just too lazy to take the time to add an apostrophe and an E. There! I said it.

Let's take a quiz to prove it:

Fill in the blank with either "your" or "you're."
1. _____ going to have to learn to take pride in _____ work, or The Wicked English Teacher is going to throw it all in the trash!
2. The Wicked English Teacher has been missing for a while, but I'm sure _____ happy that she has returned to correct the mess _____ making of the Internet.
3. If _____ writing doesn't improve, The Wicked English Teacher is going to take a red pen to all _____ status updates.
Answers are at the bottom of the page.

You do know the rule. "Your" means something belongs to you. "You're" is a contraction for "you are."

This is all your fault. The fault belongs to you.
You're going to have to pay more attention. You are not paying enough attention.

Okay. Here's the thing. It was bad enough when it was just random status updates and tweets. Now the problem has even moved in to some of my favorite blogs. That's right! Blog posts written by really good writers whom I respect and admire.

Today I read this on the blog of a woman whom I love like a daughter and who usually doesn't make this type of mistake: "So... what your saying is..." Girl! I know you know better. Just because you're chasing a toddler and nursing a newborn and working a full time job while also writing your blog is no excuse for sloppiness. Do not disappoint The Wicked English Teacher again.

In addition to status updates, tweets, and otherwise excellent blog posts, this error is markedly common in those "inspiring" or "cute" pictures/quotes that get passed around on Facebook. You know the ones:

In addition to being more syrupy than inspiring, these misspelled admonitions give me a headache. You people need to stop sharing these horrible things even if you do have true friends in your life..!

Now let's go back to that quiz.

Quiz answers:

1. You're going to have to learn to take pride in your work, or The Wicked English Teacher is going to throw it all in the trash!
2. The Wicked English Teacher has been missing for a while, but I'm sure you're happy that she has returned to correct the mess you're making of the Internet.
3. If your writing doesn't improve, The Wicked English Teacher is going to take a red pen to all your status updates.

Okay. I'm glad to finally get that off my chest. I hope you've got this straight once and for all. Now go, and annoy The Wicked English Teacher no more!

Modcloth Contest!

2013-03-12T16:47:00.000-07:00

ModCloth has one of the coolest new contests going on the web right now! From today through 7 AM PST on 3/18, ModCloth is inviting community members to check out their brand new Style Gallery, upload a photo, love images and share the looks that inspire them throughout the week of 3/11-3/18. The image that gains the highest community-generated loves will win the top prize of a $100 ModCloth gift card! The other exciting part, you ask? Two random lovers of that winning image will also each score a $50 gift card! Head over to ModCloth right now to participate in the Style Gallery or maybe just check out all of the great fashions available!

Extra Style Gallery Details

How will winners be selected, you ask?
The owner of the image with the most ‘loves’ between 7 a.m. PT 3/11 and 7 a.m. PT 3/18 will win a $100 ModCloth gift card.

When will winners be announced?
ModCloth will contact the winners via email by 3/22 and announce the winners on the blog at 7 a.m. PT 3/27.

I am being reimbursed for this blog post, but I would never share any product or company that I didn't love and think you'd love too!

Meanwhile, Back at the Junior High

2013-03-07T14:17:00.000-08:00

Here at the junior high school, one of the elective classes is being a student aide for a teacher. I have one such aide who helps me with things like grading tests and stapling papers. This young man also happens to be a student in my class of gifted and advanced students.

Gifted students are....interesting.

This particular student cracks me up. He never intends to, but he does. He's just so earnest!

For your enjoyment I offer you: Tidbits from my student aide:

He was quite overjoyed when I allowed him to become my aide. His first question was, "Don't you think I should have my own key to the room?"

No. No I don't.

When he sat down to grade papers the first time, he asked, "Now, I can just grade these however I want, right?"

No. No you can't.

I like to put stickers on tests when a student gets 100%. So he asked if he could have stickers to do that too. Finally something I could say yes to. I gave him a package of happy face stickers, and he went off joyfully.

A few days later he saw me putting stars on some papers. "Stars? Why don't I have stars?"

Ummm....because you have happy faces?

I set him up with his own little table in one corner of the room where he could come in and do his work. After the first day, he asked, "Can I make a sign that says 'Student Aide's Office'?"

Sure, kid. Knock yourself out.

Aren't kids fun? I really enjoy the crazy things they say. Has a kid entertained you lately? Tell me about it in the comments.

Sharing My Craftiness

2013-03-06T18:03:00.000-08:00

I've never thought of myself as a "crafty" person. My mom is very artistic, and so is my daughter. I'm the generation that got skipped.

When Alyssa recommended that I start making stamped metal jewelry as an additional source of income, I discovered jewelry making. She'll be the first to tell you that she did not recommend that I make beaded jewelry; she specifically said stamped metal. But who listens to her?

Stamped and hammered copper with Swarovski crystal hearts in birthstone colors of my children.

Mixed metal necklace stamped with names and baby feet

When I started looking at the jewelry supply web sites, I fell in love with the Swarovski crystals. I have stamped metal jewelry listed on my Etsy site, and I enjoy making it, but I LOVE the beaded jewelry!

Here are a few of my newest favorites:

Swarovski crystals, Czech glass, semi-precious stones all in one bracelet!

I've got a lot more finished, but I need to take pictures. I'm not especially happy with any of the pictures I've taken; they never seem sharp enough. I'm not sure what I need to do to improve them. If you've got suggestions, I'll listen.

I'm still working on my comeback from depression and fighting off a pile of fatigue and lethargy. I'm really grateful to those of you who are sticking with me.

I'll be back in a day or so with some quotes from my student aide, a kid who just generally cracks me up.

It’s Time to Talk About Depression

2013-02-28T20:44:00.000-08:00

You all know that I like to keep things light on my little blog; it even says so right on my About Me page. So most of the time I share life’s little absurdities as well as life’s little irritations, but I don’t delve into the more serious areas of life. Today, however, I feel that I need to explain my sudden absence from my blog. (I hope someone somewhere has noticed that there’s been a sudden absence!)

For several months now I've been fighting off a bout of depression, an illness that has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. Depression is a treatable illness, and most people’s symptoms can be alleviated with medication and/or talk therapy. Some of us who suffer from long-term depression (dysthymia) keep our symptoms under control most of the time, but even with medication, it rears its ugly head from time to time.

What brings it on? Everything. Or nothing. One of those.

By Constance Marie Charpentier Creator:Constance Marie Charpentier (Web Gallery of Art: Image Info about artwork) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

The problem with depression is that it’s a liar. The depressed person (I) begins to feel down, just kind of “blue” or not right. Her (my) energy begins to wane and the negative feelings deepen. She (I) begins to engage in “negative self-talk” which causes further feelings of sadness and despair, which causes more negative self-talk. Medication doesn’t cure the illness, but it makes it possible to think clearly enough to see through the lies of depression.

Lately I’ve been believing the lies: I’m not a good enough teacher, a good enough wife, a good enough blogger, a good enough mom. I’m just not enough.

By Eliseo Sala (1813 – 1879) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Like other depressed people, when I begin to believe the lies, I see supporting evidence all around me. I won’t go into all of the areas of self-loathing, but I had evidence that I’m not a good blogger. People quit commenting. If they aren’t commenting, then they aren’t reading, and if they aren’t reading, it’s because I suck. There’s no other possible explanation.

http://www.healthyplace.com/images/stories/insight/quotes/depression-quote-04.jpg

Well, I’m just to the point where I’m entertaining the possibility that there could be other explanations. Maybe.

Depressed people tend to treat their feelings as evidence of what’s real. I feel worthless; therefore I am worthless. As I said, medication doesn’t make the symptoms go away, but it makes it possible to see through the lies. I’m trying really hard right now to “feel” like the negative thoughts are lies, and not reality.

Heinrich Hoerle [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

The first step to feeling okay is to act okay. So I’m back.

I’m getting some help, and I’m feeling my way back to normalcy a little at a time. Even writing this out has helped.

It’s funny. When I sat down to write this post, I thought I would do some research and share facts and information about depression. I really hadn’t intended to write so much about my personal situation. Once I started writing, it just all came out.

Tomorrow, I’ll share that research. Today I just want to let you know I’m back, and I’m better, and I’m enough.

A Real Question for The Hillbilly

2013-02-07T00:30:00.000-08:00

Hey, look! One of these questions for The Hillbilly is from a real person! I'll give you a hint. It's not one of the first two.

Dear Hillbilly
Obviously, from your last Dear Hillbilly posting, I take it that you are not a big fan of people wearing flip flips. So what do you think about high heels.
Sherry

Who cares what he thinks? How cute are these? On sale at Designer Shoes!

Dear Sherry
Well Sherry, I always found them to be uncomfortable! Just joking! In New York City, I did see a guy about 6’ tall and 250 lbs. wearing a short skirt, fishnet hose and high heels. In a city where everyone has seen about everything and is fairly accepting of fruit cakes, fruit pies, etc. everyone was still staring and laughing. Fortunately, he didn’t go crazy, (crazier), and start trying to kill everyone with the heels! I mean, I almost died laughing anyway!

I am losing focus here. I am sure you are talking about high heels being worn by women---hopefully! Anyway, high heels are designed to make women’s legs look longer and by the way they elevate a woman’s heel, to make the calf muscles be more defined. This of course makes the legs look more shapely. This works pretty well. Most women look pretty good in them at least while standing still.

Cynthia, who just likes shoes period, has a hard time passing up any kind of cute or pretty pairs of shoes. I think she once showed a pair of her red high heels on one of her posts!

Don't be silly. That was on Facebook. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL RED SHOES IN THE WORLD!

At any rate, there can be problems with them. The heel length should probably be limited to how well you can walk in high heels. If you walk wobbly, like a small child learning to walk or like me on stilts, then I don’t care how pretty the shoes are or how good they make your legs look, they just make you look like a hayseed or a klutz. On the other hand, some people act as if they were born in them! When my daughter was two, we spent a lot of time with couples from church. Many of the women would kick off their heels. My daughter would put them on, and somehow hold them on with her toes. She not only walked well with them , but could run and jump over peoples legs with them. It was probably a sign, because much to my dismay, she went on to travel around the world while modeling.

Anyway, I guess you have to make the decision: am I wobbly walker, a stiff robotic walker, or smooth and graceful walker in high heels. If you wind up on your nose, or need to oil your knees, the answer will probably come to you! You might want to go to more of a wedge type of heel. They seem to be much easier to walk in and give the same basic effect on the legs.

Dear Hillbilly
I know that you are from Southern Missouri, so kind of from the South. So what do you think of grits?
Shirley

I'd just like to say, "EEEWWW!" Thank you.

Dear Shirley
Grits are not my favorite. However, they are better that the pits and way better than the sh-----, (diarrhea), if you know what I mean.

Where do people come up with questions like this?

Dear Hillbilly
You are married to a writer and lifetime student of English Word(s). I am like your wife, a writer and former English Teacher. Writers are known to be a high-maintenance, crazy lot. What is your general advice for spouses, like my long suffering wife, of writers?
Sincerely Lance

Dear Lance
I clicked on your avatar and saw that you are much younger and better looking than I. Hmm! I may be jealous.

Follow Lance on Twitter and on his blog.

Since you are big into English, you are obviously bright and ~~crazier than~~, I mean crazy like a fox! As far as advice for Mrs. Lance, I suggest that when Lance is railing about imperfection in both the written and spoken word, only roll your eyes, (and you will roll your eyes), when turned away from him. When you laugh, (and you will laugh), seem to be coughing.

I admit, sometimes I roll my eyes and laugh out loud. When Cynthia starts bulling up, I hug her and laugh louder! Then I add a few kisses to the neck, etc. This then lends itself to other possibilities. So, Mrs. Lance, if this doesn’t work, and Lance just isn’t seeing the possibilities in this, he may not be as bright as I first thought!

From the Hillbilly’s Corner!

He is so embarrassing. Yes, he's good at distracting me, but embarrassing nonetheless.
And why does he only make up women's names? What does this mean? Should I be worried?
Also, does ANYONE actually like grits? Questions that need answers!

Things I Have Been Asked Lately

2013-02-04T20:15:00.000-08:00

I truly love my students. In fact, when I'm not wanting to rip out their voice boxes, they are a source of never-ending entertainment. Junior high is that interesting age between Cute Little Kid-dom and Too Cool for School.

One of the more interesting parts of teaching is coming up with answers for some of the questions I'm asked. There are a lot of times when I just give the kid a blank stare because I have no idea what to say.

Let me share some of the things they've asked me lately. For some reason the best questions always start with, "Mrs. Meents..."

"Mrs. Meents, Chris wants to know if you're a boxer because you're wearing an Everlast shirt."
Yep. That's how you can tell.

"Mrs. Meents, do you want a garbanzo? How about a kidney?"
I have to quit letting them eat lunch in my classroom.

"Mrs. Meents, what's your favorite dinosaur?"
Ummm...

"Mrs. Meents, how come if you say south (sowth) you don't say sowthern?"
. . .

"Is it possible to have 'soft' handwriting?"
??!!

If you've got a good answer for those last two, would you let me know? I'm blank!

Seriously? Ask The Hillbilly?

2013-01-30T19:31:00.000-08:00

So this whole Internet thing is going to The Hillbilly's head, and he thinks he should run an advice column. Sigh. Here he is.

Being an intelligent and inventive hillbilly, for the benefit of Cynthia’s readers, I have decided to add a new feature to mix in with my posts. I am going to offer readers the possibility of asking questions to gain some hillbilly wisdom. Being inventive, we will call it Dear Hillbilly. The following will be an example for your entertainment:

Dear Hillbilly
I have recently noticed and been shocked by women protesters that that seem to have a hard time keeping their clothes on. Do you think that this tactic to draw attention to their cause is effective?
Sarah

Dear Sarah
Are you kidding me? There are several reasons that this won’t and can’t work. First, any man that came by would in great surprise be saying something like, "Would you look at this, there are na-na-nak-naked wo-women out here". Later, if you asked them about the protest, they would get a crooked little grin on their face, and then say something to the effect, "It was a protest? Did they have signs? I didn’t see signs." And that would be a completely truthful answer.

If women came by, there would be a couple of reactions with neither of them being good. Many would just be offended. Even worse, If they were with their husbands or boyfriends, they would be angry at the women, angry at their husbands or boyfriends and chewing them out if they even looked in the direction of the protests. Then the rest of the evening would be ruined due to the wives or girlfriends being in a bad mood and or acting as if they were mad at the world.

As an example, a friend of mine and his buddy went on a fishing float trip. Their wives were to meet them and pick them up at a preassigned takeout. They had a great day, great weather, great fishing. Then they got to the pickup point. Things changed quickly! Naked women from some commune were lying all over the place and sunning. The guys were amazed, and the wives were angry! The poor, innocent men were in the dog house for days and all they did was float to the takeout. Well, they might have looked ---- once or twice.

At any rate, the protesters would have done their cause no good. The men wouldn’t have noticed what they were protesting anyway and the women would have been too mad to care. So they would have been better off to leave their clothes on. Besides the sun or cold weather, etc. is bad for skin!

Dear Hillbilly
We women like to wear flip flops, and they are making them in more fashionable designs to wear with various and assorted clothing. What do you think of them?
Ann

Dear Ann
Have you watched women or men walk in these? The average person is about as graceful in them as a pregnant elephant. Not only are they ugly but they make people walk ugly. I have only seen two girls that looked graceful in them. They looked to be about 13 – 15 years old and looked to be from the islands. In amazement, I pointed them out to Cynthia. So unless you can walk like them, don’t wear flops beyond your yard or some appropriate place, like nowhere, as they are a fashion flop.
Trust me, I am a fashion expert!

From the Hillbilly’s Corner!

No he's not! Pssh. This is me shaking my head and rolling my eyes. By the way, he totally made those names up. No one asked him those questions. He made them up too. But YOU could ask The Hillbilly a question. He'd just love to answer it for you!

What's in a Name?

2013-01-28T12:48:00.000-08:00

I received this question from a reader. I'll share my response with you all.

If I have a main character in a story and he lies about his name to a supporting character before we as the reader know his real name, how do we refer to him in type. Would you use quotations or apostrophes around his fake name? I would think that it changes depending on how much we as the reader know. Here are some of the scenarios that come up in this story.
1st Q
Our main character lies about his real name and gives a fake( let's say Sam). Second character doesn't know any different and calls him by Sam. We know that his name is not Sam but don't yet know his real name. When referring to him out of dialogue do we say something to the effect of;
The rain was making everyone tired, "I'm going to sleep." Sam said.
Or
The rain was making everyone tired, "I'm going to sleep." 'Sam' said.

I wouldn't use quotation marks around Sam's name. I might continue referring to him as "the man," or something along those lines until the reader knows his actual name.

2nd Q
The Narrator gives us the main characters real name but the main character is still going by his fake name. Second character still doesn't know any different and so calls him by the fake. We know both names.
So how now do we refer to him. Such as;

Peter, for that was his true name, almost got hit with the mango thrown by the pauper.
"Hey, Sam! Over here" someone yelled
Peter turned around to see his friend Shilly beckoning him away from the crazy man and toward an alley hidden behind a wall of hanging carpets for sale.

If the reader already knows Peter's name, I wouldn't find it necessary to add your parenthetical statement. I would just call him Peter.

or would I have said
Peter, for that was his true name, almost got hit with the mango thrown by the pauper.

"Hey, Sam! Over here" someone yelled

'Peter' turned around to see his friend Shilly beckoning him away from the crazy man and toward an alley hidden behind a wall of hanging carpets for sale.

I'm pretty sure the first one would be right for this question.

I'm not sure why you would want to put Peter in quotation marks since that's the man's real name. You're correct; use the first version.

Getting to the heart of the matter, there is no real wrong or right answer here. It's more a matter of style than of convention. Thanks for your question.

Feel free to ask the English Teacher a question at any time. Even more exciting, we're going to add a new feature: Ask The Hillbilly!

You Might Be an Eighth Grade Teacher

2013-01-18T19:38:00.001-08:00

You might be an eighth grade teacher if...

you've ever eaten a granola bar and Pepsi for lunch while grading 100 vocabulary tests.
someone has asked you, "How long is this school in feet?"

you've been told, "You're my favorite teacher," by someone whose very name makes you cringe...
you've spent time scraping chewing gum off your carpet, out of the drinking fountain, or off of your shoe.
you believe that chewing gum is an abomination.
you hang a sign on your door that says, "Don't come in here at lunch unless you plan on being quiet!"
you have shocked people by telling them that no one had a home computer when you were in junior high school.
you tell five people to pull their pants up and three other people to put on a jacket or get a more modest shirt from the nurses's office.
during a discussion on irregular verbs, someone raises her hand and asks you where you get your nails done.

you've been told, "You've got swag. You wear your clothes with confidence".
you find yourself staring blankly into a youngster's face trying to figure out what he's talking about only to realize that he has confused the words cyclone and clone.
some days seem like an endless stream of nonsequitors.

you give your last granola bar to a kid because she didn't have breakfast.
you are given daily reports on Justin Bieber's latest exploits. You didn't ask.
you have to tell a young lady that she can't use the restroom for that reason because she used that reason all last week.
in a thirty minute period, 15 people ask you, "Where are the scissors?" and your answer is always, "In the art supply cabinet."
in the next fifteen minutes 10 people ask you, "Where do the scissors go?"
you have to tell people, "The art supply cabinet is that cabinet with the sign on it that says, 'art supplies'."

someone asks you, "You know when Bruce Lee was wearing that yellow and brown track suit? What movie was that in?" and honestly expects you to know.
you instruct people to write about a celebrity and one of them asks,"Is Sponge Bob a celebrity?"
you are sick and tired of hearing, "Someone stole my pencil!"

the words "rally schedule" fill you with dread.
you feel the urge to tell total strangers in the grocery store to spit their gum out.

So that's my life. It's a good think I love the crazy, hormone-ridden little people.

What's the Deal with the Crystal?

2013-01-16T20:56:00.000-08:00

Before I started making jewelry, I really didn't know a lot about the different components that make up a piece of jewelry. I've learned about things like jump rings and chandeliers. I've learned about tools such as the chain nose pliers, the round nose pliers, and the mandrel. No, that's not Barbara Mandrell for those of you old enough to remember the country singer.

She was country when country wasn't cool!

I've also learned about the various materials used in jewelry making. I know the difference between silver plated and silver filled. I know I can't afford to make much out of gold. And I've learned about the difference in crystals.

No not Crystal Gayle, another country singer from back in the day.

Now you know me; I can't have information without sharing it with the world, so let's talk about crystals. I always thought crystal was only important to new age gurus who needed crystals to channel their chakra...or something.

Or maybe they use them to direct their Chi....whatever.

Crystals occur in nature, but they can also be man made. When we're looking at crystal jewelry, we see both natural and man made crystals. Swarovski, headquartered in Austria, is widely recognized as the maker of the finest quality man made crystal.

Jewelry made with Swarovski crystal has a brilliance and sparkle unlike any other. Swarovski meticulously and precisely cuts each crystal, achieving the perfect shape, angle and placement of each facet.

Blue Briolette Cut Swarovski Crystal Drops.

I wasn't sure when I started what the difference between crystal and glass was. Was crystal just a fancy word for glass? Was it a particular cut of glass? As it turns out, man made crystal is glass with lead oxide added to it. It's the lead oxide that gives crystal its sparkle by...well, it's some scientific technical jargon about "a higher index of refraction." Trust me. Crystal sparkles more than glass, and Swarovski is the sparkliest of them all.

So, what do you think? Did you learn anything, or was I the only one who didn't know any of this? Be sure to stop by my Etsy shop to see what I've been up to....you know...when I should have been blogging.

Don't be Crazy...or Ignorant!

2013-01-08T18:52:00.000-08:00

Well, My Hillbilly has something on his mind, which is nothing new, so here here is:

I catch myself watching the news and becoming verbal about what is being said. I say things such as:
"This guy is an idiot! These guys have no idea what they are talking about!" And I say other such intelligent thoughts that come to mind. Yes, hillbillies occasionally have intelligent thoughts. And yes, in finding that out, you have also become more intelligent!

Growing up as a hillbilly and being made hillbilly tough, I am not afraid of a whole lot of things. However, I am afraid of a few things. One of those things is ignorance, and the other is crazy people!

Ignorance frightens me because it causes us to do stupid things. For instance, I have seen people pick up a chain saw and begin using it with no knowledge that things can cause it to kick back into their face. Trust me; it makes for a bad scar if you survive it. Or you see them using the chain saw to cut a tree with their body positioned in such a way that the tree might kick back and kill them. Again, trust me, most people who have this happen, don’t do it more than once! And yes through ignorance about various things, this hillbilly has been injured and about killed. Besides making us look stupid, or in my case, more stupid, ignorance can hurt us or cause us to be killed!

Crazy people frighten me too. Like many people, I enjoy scary movies! I have had a blast with vampire movies, zombie movies, Frankenstein movies, werewolf movies, ghost movies, witchcraft movies, etc. However I have never enjoyed movies with crazy people. Play Misty for Me with Clint Eastwood, scared me to death. The thought of a screaming, crazy woman with a knife attacking me in the dark is a little too realistic. I have known crazy people. I have been around crazy people. Intelligent people, even we hillbillies, know enough to not hang around them.

Available from Amazon!

Now,back to the news people. Due to various shootings around the country, they were talking about guns and gun control. In my younger days, gun control would have had to do with how steady I could hold the gun so I could hit that at which I was aiming. Of course that wasn’t what these men were talking about. These were news people who were debating both sides of the issue and they were equally ignorant. These are people who sway our opinions one way or the other and they didn’t have enough knowledge about guns to fill up a thimble, much else a teacup!

As to guns, I grew up around them. They were a tool we rarely used. I was taught to respect them and to beware of their danger in the same way I was taught to use other tools that could be harmful. We used guns to kill animals that were injurious to our live stock, were damaging our farm, or to put down an animal that was suffering and could not be saved. As I grew older, wiser, and gained my parents trust, they began allowing me to use them to hunt. We really didn’t think of them as being for protection. That just wasn’t something we thought much about. In fact, when I was growing up, we rarely locked a door while home or when we were gone. Things have changed even in Missouri.

As for death, statistically, the number one accidental killer is from auto accidents, the number two killer is gun accidents. In murders, a little less than 60% are by guns. The big majority of the gun murders and accidents are from pistols. Rifles are rarely used. True assault weapons are almost not used at all. What the news anchors have been calling assault weapons are not, but instead just semi auto weapons that have the same appearance. An assault rifle is fully automatic. In other words, you can hold the trigger down and it just keeps shooting like a machine gun. Very few people have them and to have them, they have to obtain special permits from our government. Probably about two thirds of the hunting guns and pistols are semiautomatic. In other words, you aim, and pull the trigger. With a fully automatic weapon, you hold the trigger down and sweep the gun over multiple targets and put off a constant stream of bullets. Hopefully those are mostly used by our military!

One of the things brought up as if it was a bad thing, was the fact that people had multiple guns. Yes, most hunters do. If they are much of a hunter at all, like using certain tools for certain jobs, they will have a shotgun for bird hunting, (quail, turkey, duck, pheasant, etc). They will probably have a 22 for small game. They will probably have a larger caliber, (bigger bullet), rifle for big game such as deer, and possibly even an elk, and even a larger caliber rifle for moose, bear, or dangerous game. They may have black powder rifles for special seasons where only they can be used.

If in the home, there are women or children that hunt, there may be lighter caliber rifles or rifles made with smaller stocks to fit their smaller statures. Some may have a pistol for protection.

Many times they will have old guns that have been in the family, perhaps their Fathers, or Grandfathers. Many people love and collect guns. Though I don’t use those particular ones, I have a rifle that both my Uncle and my Father, (both now deceased), once owned. I still have my first 22 rifle given to me for my 10th birthday. These old guns aren’t worth very much but they bring back memories and mean something to me.

Another thing that bothered a pro-second amendment news man, was the :large caliber bullets" that some of these crazy mass shooters used. He made a statement that they shouldn’t be available for us (the regular guy) to purchase and no one needed them unless it was for military use. The fact is, most all of these bullets used, have been very small, with bullets weighing about one third to one half of what most deer hunters use. If you tried using them on a bear, you would just make him mad and you would become bear food and eventually bear scat. Scat is bear poop for you who don’t know.

Almost all gun owners are law abiding! Some use them for protection, but most are used for sport. Like most of us who play and enjoy several sports, many gun owners enjoy hunting, competition, and target shooting. And as with many things, there are also those who enjoy collecting rare and valuable guns.

Without hunting, animal populations would get completely out of control causing them to damage even more of our farmers' crops than they already do. This would lessen food supplies of grain for both livestock and human consumption. It would also cut down the meat gained from the hunting of the wild animals. Without control, auto-animal accidents would jump immensely, causing even more auto deaths (human and deer!) than we now have. I could go on and on about unintended consequences.

Back to ignorance and craziness, craziness though not exactly the same thing, could be compared to being mentally impaired. In the United States, approximately 11,000 people are killed each year by drunken drivers who are mentally impaired by drink. That is almost 2,000 more than are murdered by guns. Fifty-eight percent of firearm accidents are due to a combination of ignorance, (people who don’t know anything about guns), and or by those who are drunk, (mentally impaired). All of these large shooting sprees seem to be by people who are crazy!

As I said in the beginning, crazy people and ignorance frighten me! In my opinion, many of the news anchors are either ignorant, or dishonest. Either of these is frightening. More frightening, is the question that comes to mind, how much other stuff do they put out to us that is the same way? They owe it to us, to take the time to investigate and become knowledgeable enough to give us facts. No news anchor or pundit should just start spouting preconceived notions or ignorance. We depend on them! A lot of our opinions and decisions come from what they tell us. We in the real world would have a hard time holding down a job if we approached it with the same ignorance and in the same lackadaisical manner.

And with their ignorance or ????? whatever, they are beginning to drive me ----- nuts! Never crazy, insane, or mentally impaired because those are more refined words. And hey, I am still a hillbilly!

From the Hillbilly’s corner!