¿ Como se what?

Hello Old ...Friend?

2021-09-12T09:54:00.000-05:00

Wow. I can't believe that it has been 11 years since I last messed around with this blog. I also can't believe that 13 years later, I'm at the same job. That has to be more nuts than anything. I have seen so many people come and go that I have forgotten a lot of their names. People will look at me crazy when they find out I'm at the same place. I didn't know that job hopping was the thing to do. Well you may ask what have I been up to besides that. I eventually got and paid off my own car. I really thought that that would open more doors for me career wise, but you know the whole 1 step forward 3 steps back came around with a vengeance and I was stagnant for several years. Once again, my parent lost her job and I had to step up and help out again. Another step back. Just as I was on the precipice of reinventing my life, 2020 came through like gangbusters and 10 steps back. Covid 😷 has really effed up my barely made plans. Well they weren't really plans as much as idea goals. I had hoped that we would see some real progress this year but it looks like it's going to be a repeat of last year. I had really wanted to start traveling, but I don't feel comfortable just hanging out and going about life as if this virus isn't still an issue. There is so much that I missed out on in the years past either due to finances, lack of time, or lack of opportunity. It seems that I just have to live with that knowledge that I missed out on a good chunk of living. One bright spot is that I found my journal again and once again have an outlet.

You dont know how it feels to be me......

2010-07-27T22:48:00.002-05:00

I slept for 8hrs for the first time in over a year. Too bad it's due to the fact that last night I cried myself to sleep. I dont ever want to feel that way again.

I think i'm losing it

2010-04-06T09:33:00.003-05:00

Today for some reason has not been a very good day. Actually it started yesterday but trickled over into early day. Its all this pent up restlessness. On top of that, this medication is not helping. In fact, I think the Adipex may be exacerbating my way of thinking. It's just like a cauldron just bubbling and boiling. Waiting to boil over. I've made an executive decision that I'll have to tell you guys about later, but long story short, it's time for some changes. I'm not getting any younger and time definitely isnt getting any slower. I'm going to blink one day and half of my life will have passed me by. At this poing of my life, i'm not really living life so much as I'm a passive participant. It feels like I'm a casual observer in my own reality. All I can do is hope for the best with my endeavors. It may not be big but there's still an ember of hope and possiblity flickering amongst the ashes. I'm just waiting for the winds of change to fan into a full blown flame.

*deuces*

Houston we have Lift off

2010-03-09T02:57:00.002-06:00

After what seems like forever, I'm BACK!!! I'm finally able to blog from the comforts of a computer and not my mobile phone. I have to admit that I missed blogging. It's not like I got on here and did it often or that I even really talked about much when I did. I guess it kind of goes with the whole cliche' about not missing something until you dont have it.

I'm just glad to be back online and reconnected.

*deuces*

Tis the season for retrospect

2009-12-18T00:44:00.001-06:00

Looking at the calendar l cant help but to realize that Christmas is officially a week away and with the following week the year will be kuput.

lt has really gone at lightening speed. It feels like we were just wrapping up last year's celebrations and here we are on the cusp of another one. l tend to find myself melancholic during this time of year. As the end of the year approaches, lm swamped with feelings of unfullfillment. Sometimes l wonder if lm cursed or did l just make decisions that were not beneficial to me. l sometimes wonder what my life would have been like had l tried to make a go of Florida. What if my collegiate path had been different? lt's a pity that you cant experience an "It's a Wonderful Life" moment in real life. l guess thats the lousy part of "what if". We'll never know. All we can do is keep moving forward and hoping that things change, get better, work out, etc. l'll be glad when that day comes because l'll finally be able to exhale. l've been holding my breath for so long.

Happy Holidays and l hope to see you all in the new year.

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Sowing to reap the karmic retribution

2009-08-01T09:27:00.002-05:00

I don't know who if anyone reads this blog, but it's not a big deal b/c I seriously need to vent.

If you were raised a Christian than you were always taught the fundamentals of "You reap what you sow" just as Buddhists believe in Karma. If if you are not familiar with either of these religions you've always heard the old adage " What goes around comes around." I've always been a strong believer in the whole " you reap what you sow" philosophy be it good or bad, but I had to wonder one day how does this REALLY work? I know we all do some bad things b/c nobody is perfect or all rainbows and light, but I believe that I do a lot of good in this world. Don't get me wrong, I don't go looking for pats on the back or for benefits for the things I do. Anything and everything I do is from the heart b/c that's the type of person I am. I don't know where I got that from b/c I don't believe my mom has a charitable bone in her body. I'm getting sidetracked. That's another topic for another day.

It just seems that when some people do bad things, they never " get it back" just as some people seem to live life like its golden from their good seed being sown. Personally, I'm tired of never seeing anything positive come my way. I sow friendship and charity, I reap mistreatment, underhandedness and hardship. I might be selfish but I would like to reap some of that good I've put out. I'd like for the positivity, love, charity, etc to come back around like it went around. I don't have a hard, tough or particulary bad life at all. It would just be nice to see something positive or happy come around every now and then.

*deuces*

Thank God for mobile web

2009-07-20T08:47:00.001-05:00

Well I still dont have a pc. I saw where walmart had Dells for $500.
Even Bestbuy had some good sales. I just hope when I get ready to get
a new one, I can get it reasonably. In other news, two of my "babies"
are starting school. The oldest will be starting college and the
youngest preschool. They both are so excited especially the baby. Im
excited for them too. Ive bought so much stuff for the oldest and
still have stuff to get for the baby. Lol. Thats probably why I dont
have a new pc b/c Im too busy helping other ppl.
*deuces*

Ugh

2009-06-26T06:30:00.001-05:00

My pc has been dead 2wks and it sucks. I hate tryin to surf the web on
this stupid phone. I should've gotten a new one a long time ago. It
served me well for the umpteen years I had it though. I guess it was
tired.

The path to recovery

2009-06-07T07:00:00.003-05:00

Thank God I am feeling so much better. No more pain and the swelling is completely gone from my face. My nodes have gone almost completely down too so I am quite pleased. I am so thankful that that medicine didn't make me sicker. I'm probably going to have a scar on my face from the reaction but that's ok. It can be faded. I learned a serious lesson about mixing skin care products. I'll never do that again.

*deuces*

Standing Out in a Crowd

2009-06-07T05:35:00.005-05:00

I first started this blog so people could come and get a view into my world, but in this myriad of millions of blogs, it's hard to get yourself noticed. As I scoured the internet for advice and tips, I ran across articles that talked about SEOs and Adwords. I soon learned that SEO stood for Search Engine Optimization and adwords were the little advertisements I'd always seen on various websites I'd visited. SEOs are what websites, companies, etc need to get traffic to their websites. With good SEO marketing and the advantage of Adwords, most companies can find themselves located in at least the top 10 of a Google search. Google is one of the well known sites that offers search engine optimization and adwords. I knew I was going to need to get my blog optimized if i wanted more visitors so it's where I went when I first created this blog. For those of you who have businesses that need a kick or a new business you want to get noticed, a SEO service would probably be a better choice. There is an Australian based company called roi.com.au that is making moves in online marketing.. ROI stands for return on investment. From what I've read, you can fully expect that. Their services are mainly specialized to the needs of small and medium business owners. The average SEO services only offer ways to help drive traffic to your site, but Roi.com.au can also help you with the actual design and development of your website . An additional bonus is businesses can access data from the roi.com.au website so that they can see how well this company is working for them. Affordable performance is what this company seems to offer. Check them out at http://www.roi.com.au.

A Hot Mess

2009-06-01T23:24:00.002-05:00

I feel bad. I started to say horrible but that would have been an exaggeration. My glands are swollen in my neck which means I can't prop my hand up b/c its sore. Nor can I put a shirt on without it catching the gland right under my chin. To top that all off, my face is all red and blotchy with the ugliest spots I've ever seen on and around my nose. They have this weird stinging sensation that's just not all that fun to experience. My right side upper lip is swollen b/c NOW I have what ever this is on my inner lip. My mom swears it was the strawberries, but I've never been allergic to strawberries. I think it may have been a treatment I had on my face, but that would only explain the facial part. I have no idea why my gland are so swollen and painful. I took some medicine that knocked me out for the better part of 10hrs and I woke up feeling ok except my neck was more painful. Whenever I can get to the pharmacist, I hope this prescription works.

I'm on it...

2009-04-28T09:54:00.000-05:00

Well I attempted to run yesterday and did ok. Now I'm a beginner runner so I started slow with a mile. I have every intention of working my way up to MORE miles but you have to crawl before you can walk. I'm eating better and I prayed to God to give me the strength to withstand the food temptations and the junk food gluttony. Now it's not about me being sexy or cut or w/e superficial reasons people decide to lose weight. It's about my taking care of my health and treating my temple with care. You only get one body and one chance to live. I don't want to shorten the duration of either one. So here's to the beginning of a better life style.

x-posted

2009-04-17T00:52:00.002-05:00

I swear sometimes I honestly want to just sink into oblivion. Initially it was going to say kill myself but i'd be lying. There isn't a damn thing in the world that serious. PMS doesn't make the world any brighter either. Just makes people annoy the hell out of you just that much MORE. I could use a drink.

It finally has a name

2009-03-15T15:53:00.002-05:00

I have had this condition since I was a teenager but it became more prominent when I was in college. I cannot walk any long distances or extended period of time without my legs itching. It's my thighs mainly but it will spread to my butt and sometimes my stomach. I asked my mom about it and she said she has the same condition and my aunt did too. I'm wondering now if this is hereditary. I decided to finally look it up today and found out that it's called Cholinergic urticaria or exercise urticaria.

Cholinergic urticaria It is the rise in body temperature that produces the itching, swelling, and small hives that some people experience. People who have this may also experience the same reaction in hot tubs, saunas, and see that they are more likely to get it on hot days. This rarely leads to anaphylaxis - the life-threatening drop in blood pressure that can be fatal in major allergic reactions.

I don't have a problem with heat or humidity making me itch. Its just the walking thing and it's good to know that I'm not weird.

Nothing worth having is ever easy

2009-03-09T21:53:00.003-05:00

It's official. I'm in a slump. :( I haven't done my coursework or written anything in weeks. When I look at my papers, I can't help but to think how I could have been finished by now. I don't know what the problem is. I keep telling myself that if I had a laptop that would make all the difference in the world. Too bad I can't test that theory b/c I don't own a laptop nor do I see the purchase of one in my near future. Nothing worth having is ever easy is so true.

On to other things.

I can't figure out where my tax refund went. Seriously. That money was there one day and the next it was gone. The sad thing about it is I can honestly say I don't have jack to show for it and that makes it all worst. I'm not a spendthrift by any means but that's wild how fast money goes, especially in these times. I think everybody should start saving money no matter how minute the amount. I've decided to save and double the amount each pay period until I reach a certain amount then start over. All financical experts say that you should have enough money to be able to live for 6 mths if you lost your job. I know that I probably couldn't live 10 days right now. I don't want to possibly be in that position so its not going to hurt to better prepare for my future. However long it is.

*deuces*

FOUND: Inspiration

2009-02-26T06:40:00.008-06:00

There's this quote that I ran across in one of my other "friend's" journal that really spoke to me on a deeper level. It says "It is never too late to be who you might have been." ~George Eliot. I thought back to when I was in college, and I would see all the older students in my classes. By older, I'm talking 40's-60s. I thought it was fantastic to see an older adult continuing their education for whatever reasons they may have decided. It just goes to show that its never to late to go back to school or to advance your career. I believe that subconsciously I've always wanted to be a writer. I have all kinds of stories in my head and have since I was a small child. I did the whole college thing but like most college graduates, I'm not working in my field of study which leaves my career life very unsatisfying. I'm at the point now where I feel like I'm pretty much at a standstill. I can't press the rewind button because it doesn't work nor can I fast forward. Somebody has pressed the pause button on the playlist to my life. I made an executive decision about a month ago that I was going to get my life moving. The George Eliot quote is the kick in the behind I needed. I genuinely want to be a writer and it's NOT too late for me so I'm taking steps to guide me in that direction. I've started a writing course so that I can tweak my technique and learn more about the ins and outs of becoming a published author. My biggest goal is to pen a children's book and have it accepted and published. I don't care what I write. I'd be glad to do articles for a newspaper or magazine. I just want to do what will give me satisfaction and make me happy. I'm trying to establish a writing habit . I usually would just write when inspiration struck but now I'm trying to write something everyday. The more I write the sooner I can get a manuscript finished. I'll keep my blog updated with how my program is going, the manuscript, etc.

*deuces*

Fwd: Fw: Do you know Him or know of Him?

2009-01-27T04:12:00.001-06:00

Dear Friend,

Each morning we wake up to face problems that threaten to overwhelm
us…financial worries, health issues, relationship crisis…and we can't be
certain what the new day will bring.

Thankfully, God is bigger than any problem you will ever face. In the Bible,
He has made many promises to those who love and obey Him: freedom from
fear, peace, protection, provision, guidance, and deliverance. But you can't
claim any of God's promises if you don't know Him…

The Bible says, "But when the right time came, God sent His Son…God did
this…so we could become His children…God sent the Spirit of His Son into
your hearts, and the Spirit cries out, "Father." So now you…are God's child,
and God will give you the blessing He promised, because you are His child"
(Galatians 4:4-7).

All you have to do to become God's child today is believe that…

Jesus Christ is God's Son.

He lived a sinless life.

He accepted the punishment for your sins by allowing Himself to be
crucified on a cross.

God raised Him to life again in three days.

You are a sinner who needs to escape the punishment of your sins.

You want Jesus to be your Savior and Lord.

When you ask Jesus to save you from your sins and be the Lord of your life,
you inherit all the promises of God including His promise of living with Him in
Heaven forever after you die.

Would you like to become God's child right now? Then just say this simple prayer:
"Jesus, You loved me so much that You gave Your life for me. I believe You
are God's Son. I believe You lived a sinless life and that You died for my sins.
I believe You rose from the dead so that I can live forever with You in Heaven.
Jesus, please forgive me for all my sins. I invite you to be my Savior and Lord.
Thank You for making me a child of God."

If you just said these words and believed them in your heart, then you are now
God's child and an heir to all of His promises. Welcome to the family! The angels
in Heaven are rejoicing over YOU at this very moment!

Spread this gift to everyone who needs to receive it!!!

Blah humbug at being Sick

2009-01-17T01:50:00.001-06:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I am an AVID hand washer and hand washing is what all the experts recommend for keeping germs at bay. Undoubtedly my germs or somebody else's didnt get the memo b/c I'm recuperating from some cold like sickness. I seriously think Wednesday I was in the process of developing a fever but Thank God that didnt transpire. Even though I was rather flushed for the first few hours on the job. I just had the flu around this time a year ago and prior to that I hadn't had the flu in 10 yrs. Crazy thing about whatever this is/was is that I'm not congested nasally. *shocked face* I've got this nagging sleepytime sore throat. I call it that b/c it only hurts when I've been asleep. I keep waking up to clear it and earlier tonight I couldnt stop coughing. I was so zonked off those Theraflu caplets a lot of it I cant really tell If i did it or if I dreamed it. One positive of this is I'm getting plenty of rest. Be it by my own volition or by the heavy hand of cold medicine sedatives. I'm believing God that I"ll be right as rain come next week.

*deuces*

Why so sensitive?

2009-01-03T09:06:00.003-06:00

I want to be tough. Not physically so but emotionally. I don't want to tear up everytime something gets me down. At this particular point, I think it's hormonal b/c it's been bad the past few days. Minus the hormones, I still have a problem with it. I don't know how or why this happened b/c this didn't start until I got way older. There is a such a thing as too much sensitivity. Not saying that I'm overly sensitive but somethings just shouldn't bother me.

Once again.....with feeling

2009-01-03T08:51:00.002-06:00

Have you ever just had a time where you felt so inadequate? It becomes most glaringly obvious when I'm in the company of my friends who have careers and are in the works of propelling those careers. I constantly feel as though I'm not living up to my potential b/c I know Im not. Almost everyone had some goal or dream or aspiration in the duration of their lives, present writer included, but it looks like mine have fallen by the wayside. I know what I want to do. I just dont know what direction I need to take to get there, and things are difficult around me which makes it just that much harder to do what I want. I dont want to just be content with the status quo. I don't want to work a deadbeat job with no room for improvement or advancement. I want to do something that makes a difference not only for me but for other people. Job experts are always recommending finding something you enjoy doing and that's what I want. I want a job that is satisfying yet meets my financial needs. I don't have to have some 6 figure salary based in a corner office, but I would like to have a salary that would allow me some financial freedom. I want to travel and see things. DO things. I'm still young but the years are flying by and time quite literally waits for noone. I just don't know what to do.

NO SANDY BEACHES BUT STILL A VAKAY

2008-12-26T09:37:00.001-06:00

I'm going on vacation for the New Year. Nothing like a long ( well not so long) break from the J-O-B.

CHEAAAAAA!!!!!!

Happy Holidays

2008-12-24T22:16:00.001-06:00

Merry Christmas my fellow bloggers. Happy Hanukkah and Happy Kwanzaa too (even though it doesnt start til Friday). Hope that the season has brought lots of love, joy and happiness for you and your familiies. I'm off to OD on A CHRISTMAS STORY.

See you next year!

The Secret Life of Bees: When books 2 Film go Wrong

2008-11-13T00:24:00.002-06:00

Ok I'm supposed to be away and will return to such after this post. I had to come and give my frustrations on The Secret Life Of Bees. That is an hour and forty minutes of my life I'll never get back. I'm not going to go into details b/c I don't want this post to be a spoiler. I guess I made a mistake when I decided to read the book FIRST then watch the movie. I am totally and utterly disappointed with how that movied turned out. The book was a surprisingly good read. I would have finished it in a shift if I hadn't had interruptions. This movie was Waiting To Exhale all over again for me only worst. At least WTE pretty much tried to stick to the book the movie just stunk. TSLOB had some key elements of the books but there was a looooooot of unnecessary changes i.e. Zach getting snatched by white men vs. him going to jail during an altercation. I understand that you can't stick an entire book into a film but it really felt like they tried to cram it all under an hour. There was no fluidity to the film for the book reader. I may have felt differently had I no prior knowledge of the Bees. The Black Madonna was one of the KEY focal points in the book and the movie pretty much skirted around it.

TSLOB is a story that is full of emotion especially as you watch Lily deal with the struggle of having possibly killed her mother. It's just sad that it wasn't portrayed as well as it could have been on film. I don't know who the screenwriter was but he/she could have done a much better job. There is never going to be an exact movie adaptation of a book but there are several that have done fantastic jobs. A movie based on a book should be equally,if not more so, enjoyable as the literary work. Overall the movie was just thrown together and it was a total waste of 4 actresses. Dakota Fanning is a phenomenal actress for her age and this film didn't call for any of her acting chops.

For the producers and directors to change the ending from the original book ending was the final nail in the coffin. Now I'm kinda hesitant to read Twilight before I see the film. I don't think I can stomach another murdered book.

Physical and Spiritual Sabbatical

2008-11-08T07:36:00.003-06:00

I've decided to do a water fast for 21 days and "fast" from using the Internet for a month. I've got a lot physically and mentally that I need to deal with and get rid of. It just feels like this is something I need to do. I pray that the Lord keep me and guide me during this period.

*deuces*

God is FANTASTIC!!

2008-11-03T23:28:00.004-06:00

I witnessed someone else's blessing first hand. My aunt had done something to help a female pastor at one of our local churches and it was not monetary. The details of what she did I'm not to sure of but whatever it was it was received as a blessing to the woman of God.

Whoever brings blessing will be enriched,
and one who waters will himself be watered.

—Proverbs 11:25

Today when were were out shopping, we were standing in line to check out when this man came with his basket and was standing beside my cousin and me. I'm thinking in my head, why is he standing there when the line is behind me but I heard some other people talking so I was like ,maybe he's just waiting until the line moves up and I shrugged it off and gave it no more thought. So my aunt sent my cousin off to get something else . Not to long after she left, he got directly behind me with his basket. Next thing I know he touched my shoulder and said "Give this to that lady" and walked away. I looked down at my hand and he had given me a $100. I pointed in front of me in the direction of my aunt and he nodded his head. There was a lady in front of my aunt so I walked directly behind her and pointed. I wanted to be sure he was talking about my aunt and he nodded. I said "Titi, this man told me to give you this" and she turned and looked back and he just waved and left. I thought that that was AWESOME. I've heard testimony of God blessing everyday people when they give and show mercy on those less fortunate or in need ,look at Oprah, but to actual take witness it was mind-blowing. I've always known that God is like Jem. TRULY OUTRAGEOUS! That experience today just furthermore solidified my belief. To know him is to love him.

*deuces*