Complaint Hub - For all your bitching needs

Only in DC

jrenaut — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:16:14 -0800

Originally uploaded by thetejon

Saw this on our block of Harvard today. Fancy BMW 745, polished, heavy tint on the windows, Maryland tags, parked in front of a RPP Zone 1 Only sign. The sign, if you don't click through to read, says, "POLICE - Official business". I have no idea if this is a legitimate thing, or something the guy printed on his computer, but clearly parking enforcement decided to ticket him and let the DMV sort it out.

You wish you had my energy?

jrenaut — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 13:38:23 -0700

I was out jogging with the kid in the stroller on 16th Street near Varnum NW - near the top of a pretty long, steady ascent - and I overtook a group of kids coming from school. A kid who looked 13 or 14, though I have no idea these days, looked at me.

"I wish I had your energy, sir." He said. "Pushing that baby all the way up the hill".

Another reason to hate Adobe

jrenaut — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 17:33:05 -0700

Does anyone know what I did that installed this Adobe DLM into Firefox 3.5.3 on Windows XP? I'm about to disable it, but I'd really like to know how the loathsome weasels at Adobe managed to cram it into my Firefox Add-ons without me noticing. Is it something automatic when I updated Adobe Reader? Did I not unclick a box that I should have unclicked?

Keeping me busy - ebooks and publishing

jrenaut — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 19:15:16 -0700

I've got a lot going on these days. Work, the kid, family, finding time to spend with the wife - probably a lot like your life. But over the last few months I've added one more thing, and it's getting close to becoming a reality.

You may know that I was blogging over here for a while. It started out as an experiment to see where it would go, or to see if I liked blogging with a more professional tone. But the more I wrote about the ebook industry, the more I hated it. It started to feel like everyone was getting it wrong. $10 ebooks? Really?

So I decided I had to do something about it, and the idea for Manfred Macx publishing was born. I'm hoping to launch the site in November. In brief, it will be a place where authors can come and get some help in getting their work out there, and giving fans an opportunity to support them.

I will still complain here about DC parking enforcement (Have you seen the VW at 14th and Harvard that's been parked there for 3 weeks? Why haven't they towed it?) and various other things that need complaining about. It's just going to be a bit lower on my priority list.

But do check out Manfred Macx. At the very least, it will partially excuse my neglect of this blog.

Comcast still doesn't have a clue

jrenaut — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 15:57:47 -0700

Fresh on the heels of my great experience with Verizon Wireless, Comcast provided a fantastic display of how bad they are at what they do. This is what happens when you have a localized monopoly. We're supposed to get Verizon FIOS in three years, which is probably four plus years after we should have gotten it. I don't know what sort of negotiations had to happen between DC and Verizon, but anything beyond, "Yes, Verizon, here's your building permit" was probably not in the best interests of the DC residents.

But that's not the point here. The point here is that Comcast is terrible. Let's look past the fact that they have to come out every 6-8 months and fix something because our signal strength has dropped to the point that our cable goes out. Never mind that they just keep inching the price up.

No, my big complaint is the huckster who called me up this afternoon. He just caught me before I left to pick up the little gremlin from daycare. He starts off by telling me that Comcast has a great deal for me, only $10 more a month or something for Comcast Blast internet, which is super fast and awesome, and they'll give me free Showtime, and boy are there some great shows coming out on Showtime, and if I sign up right now I can get some other fabulous prize, we can get you all upgraded within two business days, so can we set up an appointment right now?

He didn't take a breath or deviate from the script. By the halfway point, he could have offered me a couple of terabytes per second download speed for six cents a year and I would have turned him down.

So, what did he do wrong that Verizon did right?

He talked at me. I know, Verizon was lowering my bill, which is obviously much easier to sell, but that's not really the point. The Comcast guy talked quickly, making sure he got everything out and asked me to sign up before I really had a chance to think about what his offer was. He didn't really explain what the difference between what I have now and what he was offering.

The Verizon guy actually had a conversation with me, clearly explaining what he was doing, how it would be different from what I had now (And he was looking at my account, so he knew what I was paying for), and why it would be better.

When I told the Comcast guy I wasn't interested, he tried to convince me. He asked why not. I stumbled for a minute, wanting to say, "Because you're reading a script, and I hate being upsold", but I didn't really feel like getting into it.

The Verizon guy knew my account, and knew how he could get me a better deal. The Comcast guy knew nothing about me beyond my name, and made me an offer that wasn't terribly compelling.

I hope Comcast is terrified of the arrival of Verizon FIOS. And I hope they deal with it by improving their service rather than lame attempts at upselling their customers.

And Comcast? If you're still reading and responding to unhappy blog posts about your service, make sure you read my post this time.

I still hate Sony

jrenaut — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 07:18:23 -0700

Sony has a new (I think) website up to promote their new ebook readers - Words Move Me. They ask people to sign up and share words that move them. Perhaps a favorite quote from a novel, or something like that. So I shared mine.

For context, see this NY Times article.

Best customer service ever - Thanks, Verizon Wireless

jrenaut — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 04:43:58 -0700

I still can't believe it. Our Verizon cell phone bill was $19 lower than last month. The guy who called me was actually telling the truth. Verizon actually called me and lowered my bill.

Maybe other companies struggling through the economy these days could take a page out of Verizon's book. Like Citigroup - instead of adding new fees, maybe try actually helping you customers. Credit cards, like cell phone companies, are largely interchangeable. It's pretty simple for me to switch to AT&T or to another credit card company. If Citi adds a fee to my card, I'll close the card immediately. But now Verizon has actually given me a reason to stay with them. AT&T, meanwhile, is forcing smart phone owners to buy a data plan in the name of better customer satisfaction.

And I'll probably spend more money with Verizon soon - when they have a phone with a data plan that meets my requirements, I'll upgrade, and there's another $30 a month or whatever it is.

Anyway, thanks, Verizon. This is one of the coolest things a company has ever proactively done for me.

Contesting a parking ticket - my car is diplomatic

jrenaut — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 10:21:40 -0700

I got a parking ticket the other day. Around the corner from us on 15th Street is the back of the Mexican Embassy. There is some parking there reserved from 7-4 weekdays for "Diplomatic cars". We came home after 4, couldn't find parking, and so we parked there. I meant to move the car, but I forgot.

I am, of course, contesting the ticket.

To whom it may concern:

I am writing to contest a parking ticket, citation #[unimportant], which I received on August 7th, 2009, for “DISOBYNG OFFICL SIGN”.

The sign reads, “Diplomatic cars only” between 7AM and 4PM. Princeton’s online WordNet defines diplomacy as “subtly skillful handling of a situation” (http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=diplomacy). It then follows that a diplomatic car would be one which displays or performs this skillful handling.

As such, it is difficult to argue that my car, a 2006 Mazda 3, is not diplomatic. There are only two situations in which the car ever finds itself – parked or being driven. It takes no skill to remain parked, and therefore the definition easily applies to any car. And anyone who has ever driven a 2006 Mazda 3, especially the manual transmission, can attest that the car is very skillful. It handles very well, accelerates quickly, and gets good gas mileage.

At no time does the parking sign mention the need for any sort of credentials identifying the car as diplomatic, nor does it require the owner of the car to possess credentials.

Therefore, by the definition above, my car is in fact diplomatic, and not in violation of the parking restrictions.

Thank you very much for your time.

Me

The sign is vague. Who's to say what "diplomatic" means? Unfortunately, in this case, it's the soul-less, humor-less parking adjudicator who will decide. I can't say I like my chances . . .

Early night at Room 11

jrenaut — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 06:52:53 -0700

It was unofficial baby night at Room 11 last night. We took the kid and met up with some friends who have a son in her daycare class. We went at 5, right when they opened, and sat outside on the porch. By the time we left around 7pm (The kid was well on her way to turning into a pumpkin), there were no less than a half dozen children under 2 on the porch. Most of the patrons, save one couple in the corner, found the children delightful. Our little monkey, for example, was making friends by pushing her chair around the porch after she finished eating. and flirting with the guys at the next table.

I like Room 11. I should have written down what I drank. I had a Chilean carmenere that was really good. I had never heard of that grape before I tried the Montes Cab/Carmenere blend (A fantastic bottle, btw), then my mom bought me a bottle of Root: 1 (Another great bottle). And now it's one of my favorite grapes.

I also had a malbec that was good. They sell wine by the glass, starting at $6. Most of the glasses are $8-9. They have a very Belgian beer selection, which is not really my thing, but I think the beers are good for the many of you who do like Belgians. They had two beers on tap, also. I forget what they were, but I remember approving.

We ate a meat plate and a cheese plate, both good, and the wife and I split a cheese panini which was pleasant.

The service was good. Our waiter was friendly and easy-going and pretty attentive. He made some good suggestions on the meats and cheeses, since I'd never heard of most of it, and couldn't pronounce any of it.

The porch had a very "neighborhood" feel to it. A self-selected, limited slice of the neighborhood, but still a neighborhood. The couple we were with brought their dog, and he waited outside the fence until we finished. At least three or four people stopped to pet him as they walked down Lamont Street. It's a pleasantly busy intersection - enough traffic to be interesting to watch, but not enough to disturb the atmosphere.

So, go check it out. We'll definitely be back.

I'm a guest at Vinotrip again

jrenaut — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 07:06:08 -0700

I have another guest post at Vinotrip that I almost forgot to mention. If you're interesting in reading about our trip through Maryland wine country, click on through.

Restaurant review: The Uptowner

jrenaut — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 09:35:36 -0700

I'm always a little uncomfortable calling a place without any tables to speak of a "restaurant", but that's not the point, here. I got lunch from the Uptowner, the new sandwich place just north of Columbia Heights Metro. I got a club wrap and a bag of BBQ soy chips. It was kind of expensive - about $9 - but the food was good. They have some vegetarian options, which is rare, and the guy behind the counter was quite pleasant.

The layout is a little funny - you order in one room, and go next door to pick it up. I didn't immediately see next door, and was worried that the sandwiches were going to be pre-wrapped and shipped from somewhere, but they're made fresh next door.

Anyway, I'll go back at some point. I apologize to Julia's Empanadas, where I planned to go, but the construction makes it very difficult to actually get to Julia's. Maybe next time.

Columbia Heights is nothing but hipsters?

jrenaut — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 17:00:16 -0700

This Washington Post article has been pissing off tons of locals. It basically says that everyone in Columbia Heights sucks, we spend all our time at Target, and we're smug because we don't live in Mount Pleasant. I've been wanting to post something about it, but no matter how many times I read the article, I just can't seem to get that worked up over it.

I mean, I do go to Target a lot. I like Target. It's a great place to buy cheap clothes for the kid, kitty litter, veggie burgers, box wine . . . But I guess the article doesn't quite hit that close to home. I have been accused of being smug about where I live, but that was in relation to Ballston. I'm glad I don't live in Ballston - not that it's a bad place to live, it's just not what we were looking for. And Mount Pleasant? I like Mount Pleasant. When we outgrow our place, that's probably the first place we're going to look. And Wonderland references are lost on me - I've been maybe a half dozen times, it's a cool bar, but it's not my hangout. We're much more likely to sit out on the porch at Commonwealth and drink Twisted Thistles and order a cheese plate.

The article was a little annoying, I admit. It took a small group of Columbia Heights residents and made sweeping generalizations about everyone here. It didn't really offer any insight, and I don't think it got the generalizations right. But I just don't care. If the article had been about the roads around Target, that would have been a different story - whoever thought the traffic patterns around DCUSA could hold up to the volume of cars and pedestrians there are now was totally insane.

So you wanna be my friend

jrenaut — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 13:28:22 -0700

Are you on Facebook? If not, none of this will make sense.

Anyway, it really irks me when someone sends me a friend request and then never says anything to me. I mean, it's not necessary to write 5000 words to tell me how you're doing or ask about my life or whatever, but a little something to say I'm not just a notch on your friend count belt is appreciated.

This is the sort of Facebook app we really need. No more stupid quizzes and games - I want a friend filter app. It only permits your updates to show on my wall if you and I have had a conversation using Facebook. It can be via status message comments, wall postings, private messages, whatever, but it has to occur before I see you in my news feed.

Another option is a badge for your profile that shows what percentage of your friends you've had a conversation with in the last month. Then a filter by percentage - if you're percentage is below, say, 50%, you get blocked from my news feed.

So, if you're a company out there looking to make a Facebook app to help build your brand, don't try to make one that does whatever your website does, only Facebookier. It will suck. Make one that's actually useful, and slap your logo on it.

What on Earth is going on?

jrenaut — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 15:28:56 -0700

I've been sitting here trying to think how this could be a scam, and I don't think it can be. Verizon Wireless just called me, offering a plan review. I was skeptical, but figured I might as well listen. He told me that they could drop 150 minutes from each phone on our plan, and save us $10 a month. We don't use all our minutes, so that was fine. It doesn't renew our contract, it doesn't give us fewer text messages, it doesn't change anything. Just fewer minutes, cheaper plan.

And the guy was obviously from Verizon, because he knew what my plan was, could see my usage, and didn't ask me for any information.

Has this happened to anyone else? I think I'm still in shock. Unless I'm missing something, this was just fantastic, proactive customer service from Verizon. And our contract is up - we can jump to another carrier whenever we want. I assume that's why they called. Maybe the competition is finally strong enough that it makes sense to go after current customers instead of just trying for new ones.

Anyway, this sure makes me more inclined to stick with them while I wait for them to jump on the Google Android bandwagon.

Get this stupid song out of my head

jrenaut — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 06:40:07 -0700

Since I can't get it out of my head after inexplicably hearing it coming out of a car window on 16th Street this morning, I'd like to get The Freshman by The Verve Pipe into your head, too. That link up there? It's the first hit for 'annoying song freshmen', although Google thinks I meant "freshman". I guess I sort of did, but isn't the word plural in the chorus? Sing it to yourself, you'll remember.

And now you feel my pain.

The boot doesn't work

jrenaut — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 06:46:42 -0700

The ridiculous practice of "booting" cars with too many tickets has to stop. Either tow them or let them be. Today is street cleaning day on the main parking side of our block of Harvard. That means that there is no parking at all from 7am to 630pm. This is because Harvard is a pretty busy commuting cut-through, and it's really helpful to have two lanes.

But there aren't two lanes today, because someone decided to boot a van on the open side of the street. I truly don't understand the logic behind this. You are now making traffic worse. Other times people get courtesy tows, an absurd waste of time and money, but we can't tow the van to the impound lot?

I've said before that booting is an explicit admission that parking restrictions in DC are purely for the city's financial gain, not an attempt to keep traffic flowing. This is absolutely infuriating. And, to make matters worse, another car, as I walked by this morning, had decided that if the van was parked there, it must be okay. And the really funny thing is that this car is likely to get towed. Ahh, DC. How I love you.

What is going on with public transportation in this city?

jrenaut — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:17:28 -0700

What in the world is wrong with the buses these days? Are people afraid of the Metro after the crash? It's been one awful commute after another for the last week and a half. This morning, two buses passed without picking up passengers. The one we finally got on didn't pick anyone up until U Street, passing crowded stop after crowded stop.

And on the way home, I don't even know what happened. I Street was a parking lot, so the bus actually turned right on 15th instead of 16th. I saw this, started walking, and actually beat the bus to 16th and L. It turned left on K, right on 16th, and I was at 16th and L when it arrived, and while I walk briskly, I never ran. It looked like something was blocking traffic on 17th - I imagine I could figure out what with a little Googling, but it's not that important to me.

On most weeks, I would just give up and work from home all week. But I actually have to be in the office at least tomorrow, and probably Wednesday, as well.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

The Mayor's Conservation Corps and the DDOE are very responsive

jrenaut — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:01:10 -0700

Below is a copy of the email I sent to the Mayor's Conservation Corps. You may have seen their flyers - they put them up on railings and doorknobs on our street today.

While I applaud the mayor and the DDOE for their efforts towards conservation and a more sustainable city, littering our streets with paper advertisements hardly seems like the way to start. I live on the 1400 block of Harvard St NW, and I just picked up two of your flyers off the sidewalk during a three block walk.

Perhaps your first project could be to collect and recycle all of the trash you left on our streets.

If you have suggestions for projects or questions about the program, they'd like you to email them at mayorsconservationcorps@dc.gov or call 202-535-2325.

And, before I could even finish this post, I received a reply from DDOE.

Good evening. Thanks for your note.

Thank you for bringing this to my attention. We will make certain the responsible youth go back to that area tomorrow and clean-up door hangers from the street. My apologies for the inconvenience.

Should the problem not be resolved or if you have any questions, please contact me at [Phone number removed]. Thank you.

Melissa McKnight
Program Director, Mayor’s Conservation Corps
DC Department of the Environment

Who says city bureaucracy doesn't work? My faith in government temporarily restored, I urge everyone to think about projects that could help the city. You can look at the Green DC Agenda website for more information.

My family is okay, I hope yours is, too

jrenaut — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 15:55:22 -0700

I don't think I know anyone who was on one of the DC Metro trains that crashed today - certainly the wife and kid and I were nowhere near it, and I've already spoken to the two people I know who might have been near that station.

I hope your family and friends are all okay, too.

A former coworker

jrenaut — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 18:21:16 -0700

Quite some time ago, in trying to explain why I complain so much, I paraphrased a quote from a former coworker into this comma-laden mess.

A friend at work a few years ago, defending me to someone else, said that, while I complain a lot, it isn't quite complaining. It's really just making conversation.

I lost touch with her not long after we stopped working together. Last I saw her was a chance encounter at CVS in Arlington before I moved into DC.

I got an email today from a former coworker of ours telling me that she died a few weeks ago from a brain tumor. I'm not sure exactly how old she was, but it wasn't more than mid-thirties.

We weren't close at work, but friendly. I have her phone number stored in my cell phone, although I don't think I ever called her. And I maybe had a bit of a crush on her for a while. It's strange - I probably never would have seen her again anyway, save another chance meeting. So I won't miss her, exactly, but I think I will miss knowing that there was that chance.

Now I can die happy

jrenaut — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 06:07:29 -0700

Originally uploaded by thetejon

The concert was, and I don't hesitate to use this word, amazing. The openers, Street Sweeper Social Club, featuring Tom Morello from Rage Against the Machine, were cool. They put on a good show. If I still ever listened to music, I would think about buying their new album next week. We did not stay for Jane's Addiction, so I can't say anything about them.

When we arrived, having bought presale tickets through NIN.com, we found that not only were we not on the grass, but we were actually on the floor, right in front of the stage. Now, my friend and I are not really the type (Or the age, I guess) to crowd up front, but I could have held a conversation with Trent at a more or less normal volume from the distance we were away. Not with the crowd there, sure, but that's an idea of the how close we were.

By the way, note to other bands - this is how to treat your fans. Presale tickets just required that you sign up at the website. When we arrived, there was a longish line to get in, and a short line to get presale tickets at will-call. I handed them my id, they gave me my tickets. They had my name printed on them. We went straight over to the presale entrance line, where they checked id again. So we couldn't possibly have scalped them, even if we had wanted to, and we barely had to stand in line. Plus we got awesome seats.

Do you notice how this makes you money, makes your fans happy, and works perfectly with or without the horrors of music piracy?

And then Nine Inch Nails came on. This is a text I sent the wife:

This is [expletive deleted] awesome. I'm getting goosebumps every time they start a new song

They played a great variety of stuff. They played the song from The Crow soundtrack, which was surprising. They played "Gave Up", one of my favorite not-as-well-known songs off 1992's Broken. They closed with "Head Like A Hole" and encored with "Hurt", much to the delight of the crowd.

For most of the concert, I was just standing there, thinking, "I can't believe I'm here listening to Nine Inch Nails live". I'm looking forward to telling the kid someday how I left her with the wife to go see them. "Dad, you're old", she'll probably say. But that's okay.

Edit this setlist | More Nine Inch Nails setlists

Our first sale, sort of

jrenaut — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:22:53 -0700

Our honeymoon registry website recorded its first transaction today for a person we don't know. The registry for our first customers has done well, but we know them. Well, I don't, but the other guy who built most of the website knows them.

Today was the first time someone we don't know had something purchased from their registry. For the record, it was $100 towards "A visit to Doi Suthep, Chiang Mai's most famous temple, located on a hill overlooking the city". Chiang Mai, for those that don't know (I had to Google it) is a city in northern Thailand.

It's pretty exciting. The website we built because it seemed like a cool idea is actually getting some use. Not a lot, yet, but some.

So, remember, if you need a free custom honeymoon registry, you know where to go.

The new buses suck

jrenaut — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 06:41:19 -0700

You've probably seen the fancy new buses the city is using for some of the cooler routes - the new S9 express bus on 16th Street, for example. I was all excited to ride one. They look fancy and clean and new and quiet.

I got my chance today. The regular S2 was a new bus this morning, so I gleefully hopped on.

Wow, do the new buses suck. Not only is it clear that the person who designed the bus has never ridden a bus before, but I'm pretty sure they actually defy various laws of physics. I don't think these buses are very different in length, width, or height from the older buses, but they've somehow managed to drastically reduce the amount of usable space. Both styles of bus are basically rectangular prisms - volume equals length times width times height. So if the length, width, and height are approximately the same, the volume is approximately the same.

I'm not sure where the volume went on the new buses. Perhaps they've somehow raised it up - there seems to be enough head room for an entire basketball team, but they better be built like Kevin Garnett, not Lebron.

And don't get me started on the painted yellow floor by the back door. It actually tells you not to stand on it. Are they insane? I mean, sure, it would be nice if no one stood there - most bus crowding problems are due to inconsiderate and clueless people who stand by the door and block everyone else from moving to the back of the bus.

But who is going to obey the painted floor? The bus driver will yell at you if you leave that much space open during crowded commuting time. The other people on the bus will yell at you because they're packed in like sardines while you leave that space open. You do have to leave some space, though, because the idiotic back doors open in.

I'm going to go email WMATA right now and complain. I suggest you do the same.

What a kick in the teeth

jrenaut — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 19:47:02 -0700

Just as he pronounced himself, "ready to pitch in the majors again", the Braves released Tom Glavine. Now, I understand that this is their right, and the guy is 43 years old. But he won 20 games for the Braves five times. For the vast majority of baseball fans today, it doesn't get much more "Braves" than Tom Glavine.

I don't know if there was a good reason for doing it this way - waiting until he worked his way back into shape doing rehab in the minors - but it sure comes across to the fans as a terrible way to treat a guy who has been really important to your franchise since 1987, save the few years he spent as a Met.

I'd love to see him come to Baltimore. Or Washington - I'd definitely find a babysitter for an evening if I could go see Glavine pitch.

As an aside, some awesomeness from the article:

Glavine described himself as "very surprised" in a text message to The Associated Press.

The idea of a 43 year old man texting the AP is almost surreal. I hope he used an emoticon or two.

Thanks, Trent

jrenaut — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 19:26:02 -0700

I think I posted a while back that I'm going to see Nine Inch Nails next week. I've been a fan ever since I saw the video for Head Like a Hole on MTV a million years ago, but I've never been to a show. This is their last tour "for a while", which maybe means forever, so I just bought tickets.

I just found out today that Jane's Addiction, the worst band in the history of the Universe, is actually going on after Nine Inch Nails. This is the best news ever. Now, I don't know if there are Jane's Addiction songs that don't suck - the only ones I know are the few that got on the radio back when I was actually listening to the radio. But the ones I know are truly and amazingly awful. Sorry if you're a fan, but that just means you have bad taste in music. It's really your fault.

In any event, I'm pretty excited.

At what point is it okay to cry?

jrenaut — Sun, 31 May 2009 18:43:53 -0700

Crying is acceptable for men in certain situations. Certainly during Field of Dreams. Insulting a man for crying when Kevin Costner plays catch with his dad is actually a valid legal defense for murder in 29 states.

But what about spilling a beer? I maintain that if that said beer is a Bell's Two Hearted, and if it's Sunday after 8pm so you can't buy any more, crying is totally acceptable. The wife disagrees, but it wasn't her beer.

Fortunately, I didn't spill it. I told her I almost did, and that I would have cried. She said she would have called me the "P" word.

I'm not sure where to draw the line, though. If it were just a regular ale? What if it had spilled on my computer (Which it probably would have)? What if it were my work computer? Does the amount of beer (1/3 bottle, in this case) make a difference? How many left in the house (At that point just one more with my name on it)?

Move over, Sean, we've got a new jouster

jrenaut — Sun, 31 May 2009 17:42:26 -0700

This one happened across the pond, not in DC, but this story is nearly as good as our local hero who beat DC parking enforcement.

They decided to change some parking rules in (near?) London. To do this, they paint double lines on the street right next to the curb. This is in stark contrast to the ridiculous signs they put up here in DC, or sometimes the total lack of markings, requiring you to just know that you can't park within five feet of an alley.

So this woman's car was parked legally before the unpublicized change to the rules. After the change, she would be illegal. So what did they do? They lifted her car off the ground, painted the lines, and put the car back down. Parking enforcement then came by and towed her for parking illegally. The article linked above has an awesome picture.

She eventually got her MP involved and was refunded the 2400 pound fine (I think the exchange rate is better now than it was last time I was over there, but that's still nearly $4000).

By the way, Express, feel free to quote me again, but try to get it right this time.

Adam Dunn owes me big

jrenaut — Mon, 25 May 2009 17:34:34 -0700

I've been to three Nationals games this year. I went to the home opener against the Phillies, I went to see the Cardinals in my second failed attempt to watch Albert Pujols, and I went to the Orioles game because I'm actually a fan of the Orioles, despite Peter Angelos' attempts to the contrary.

I just realized that Adam Dunn might wish I came around more often. Not only are the Nats 2-1 in those three games, but Dunn is hitting .455 with four home runs and 11 RBIs. His OPS is 2.175. Small sample size, sure, but I have yet to see him play a game in which he does not hit a home run, and he hit two against the Orioles, one a game-winning grand slam.

If only I were a Nationals fan.

Doing a little gardening

jrenaut — Sat, 23 May 2009 18:35:43 -0700

Originally uploaded by thetejon

Up until this afternoon, it could have been argued that I lived in a dentist's office. The front yard, such as it is, was clearly designed by someone who didn't want to offend anyone.

Unfortunately for him, I was offended. What are those grass-bush-things? They're ugly. Especially after they got a little brown over the winter, and then they started growing again this spring. They looked terrible.

I've been saying I wanted to replace them with something else pretty much since we moved in over two years ago. Today, I put my sweat where my mouth is. The wife, the kid, and I went to Garden District and got plants and mulch and a little spade. They were quite helpful there.

Originally uploaded by thetejon

We picked out a rose bush, some blue flowers, another bush that should flower late in the summer, and some marigolds. I don't remember all the details, but I know I had a marigold garden when I was about four years old. I'm sure I did most of the upkeep work.

In my opinion, clearly unbiased, it looks amazing. We'll have to wait and see if anyone else in the building acknowledges my genius. One already told me it looked good, but he ran into me while I was cleaning up, so he pretty much had to say nice things. It remains to be seen if anyone else will do it unprompted.

Luckily for me, a much improved garden is its own reward.

My kid is way cuter than that

jrenaut — Thu, 21 May 2009 19:35:40 -0700

I found out today that Parents.com is having a contest to get your cute kid on the cover of their magazine. No offense to little Trevor, Cover Model 2008, but my little clownfish is a bazillion times cuter.

We have no plans this weekend beyond her first baseball game (Orioles at Nationals on Sunday). So I'm planning to take some really cute pictures. What I need from you, readers (All of you who are still paying attention after the lack of updates these recent months), is suggestions on cutening up my daughter. She's already off-the-charts cute, but I need more. I need photos of her that will literally make your eyeballs melt with cuteness. Like a puppy raised to the kitten power. I want to make Anne Geddes' babies look like little gargoyles.

How do I do that? Any suggestions are welcome. She's a very smiley baby, so that isn't an issue. What makes a cute baby photo?