It is a best selling item on Amazon, which makes me wonder what people are doing with it? You have to fill it with helium and it stays filled for two weeks or so. And you control it with a remote control. Supposedly it can bounce right off any walls that it hits.

After thinking about it, I think this would a great gag item for office pranks. Think about it – how awesome would it be to use the remote control to send the shark into some wanker’s cubicle at work? Hysterical, right?

If anyone buys this and tries it, be sure to let me know how it goes!

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This is the first official CompleteSlacker.com book for Kindle, so show us some love.

For the low, low price of just $0.99 you can have this book delivered to your Kindle instantly. And then you will always have a copy of the 55 best sick excuses ever. Yes, ever. Better yet, almost all of these excuses have been tested by me and proven to be effective ways to get out of work and still get paid. Booyah!

If you don’t want the sick excuses, stay tuned because we have more guides to be released soon.

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I went to work every day and opened up MS Project and my web browser. My boss would come in to ask me how things were going on the project. I minimized the web and looked at MS Project to tell him what everyone else was doing. Then he left my office (yes, I had my own office with a door) and I played on the internet for the rest of the day. I often took 3 hour lunches because no one noticed. Every two weeks or so I did have to attend project meetings, but that just consisted of everyone on the project giving progress report updates. It was one of the best jobs ever. I was so sad when the project ended and my “services” were no longer needed.

Now, I’m assuming that the slacker that emailed me isn’t fortunate enough to have internet access. That blows. However, he seems to be doing just fine when it comes to slacking at work. Check out his artwork from MS Paint (yes, you can find ANYTHING to do in order to avoid working)

And, my personal favorite:

Rock on slacker Sean, you are awesome.

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For myself, I usually have friends play the part of a past boss or I get a throwaway phone number and take care of it on my own. I’ve also setup fake company websites to really make the fake company on my resume look real.

If you can’t do any of those things, someone out there wants to offer you a fake reference for a price.

The site is called CareerExcuse.com and it is not cheap.

It looks like the base package is $125 for set-up and $30 per month, with the first month due in advance. And prices go up from there.

In all seriousness, if you really need a job and it hinges on a good reference, I would pull the trigger on this. Assuming that you can’t take care of it on your own.

For me, I wouldn’t use this service because I can do all this on my own. However, if you don’t think you can do it on your own I say go for it.

The fact is that lying on your resume and using fake references isn’t illegal. That’s why those of us that know this always land sweet jobs.

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated in any way with CareerExcuse.com and discovered them through a MSN Money article.

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The Toshiba 4 GB USB 2.0 Flash Drive at Amazon is just $6.99 right now. If you are a slacker and don’t have a USB flash drive, you should pick one of these up.

They are great for running games or an alternate web browser from on your work computer.

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So, call into work at the time you would normally be leaving the house. (This is so it looks realistic.) Tell the boss that you think you need to go to the E.R. or something cause you tried to pet a cat that came up to you as you were leaving but it bit you. And what if it has rabies or something? Cause you’ve never seen it before and it just bit you and ran off.

For good measure before going into work after lunch, put a bandage on your hand where the cat bit you. It makes it look more realistic. Of course, you’ll have to wear it a couple of days to keep up the charade.

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That makes this a great excuse to use to get out of work for the day. Now, it will be easiest to use the excuse to go in a few hours late – like maybe a half day.

If you plan on using it as a full-day thing, then you are going to have to call the boss a few times for status updates. Okay, so you call about the leak first thing. You tell the boss that you put in a call to the apartment maintenance and you’re just waiting to hear back.

A couple of hours later, you call back to let them know that the roof is still leaking and the maintenance is waiting on approval from the property management company to get on the roof cause it’s a safety issue. It’s a good idea to sound mad/upset about this.

If the boss asks why you can’t come on into work and let apartment maintenance handle, you have to get emotional about how your stuff is getting soaked and there’s all this water in the floor that you keep having to clean up.

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So, what do you do when you get surprised by someone approaching your desk?

You do the quick cover-up.

Just press ALT + F4 to immediately close the window that you have open on your computer. Keep in mind that if you are running Firefox from a thumb drive, like I do, it will not close without asking you if you want to save the open tabs. Just a warning.

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Yup, I have that problem too. But it is an easy to fix problem.

Create your own job history.

First, you need to create a fake company. NEVER use a real company’s name that you did not work for.

Buy the domain name for the fake company. And for heaven’s sake – pay the extra price for the privacy protection of the WHOIS data. You don’t want a potential employer seeing that you own the domain name.

Create a professional looking website for this fake company.

Get a pre-paid cell phone that you can use at the company phone. You only need this when you think someone will be calling for a reference check.

Get a fax number from an online site, such as eFax or another online provider. You likely won’t need to use it – but some employers do fax over reference request forms so you may need to use it a few times.

Put the phone and fax numbers on your website.

The end. That is how you can create a fake company for your fake job history. It looks totally legit, right?

And yes, I’ve done this with much success.

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If you can get some dirt like that on your co-workers, you will not have to worry about them turning you in for not working.

Let’s say you see a co-worker playing Farmville all the freaking time at work. On a break you could casually say something like, “I see you were playing Farmville, how does that work exactly?” or something like that. This way, the co-worker knows you’re onto them but you can let ‘em know in a non-threatening way.

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