“There is an hour just at evening when the plains seem on the verge of saying something; they never do, or perhaps they do-eternally-though we don’t understand it, or perhaps we do understand but what they say is as unstranslatable as music…”
Jorge Luis Borges, Fictions

La calma.mp3 is part of acantilado

I.- Ir quitando, poco a poco, la estructura a la música para así lograr los paisajes anhelados. Composiciones que demuestren y hagan sentir el proceso de creación donde no veamos únicamente el acabado final. El resultado final sería el silencio. II.- Me encontraste, me abandonaste. No quiero verte hoy. No quiero verte más, al menos no olvidado. Soy el que necesita, soy el que quiere, soy el que extraña, soy el que cede, soy el que cela y el que cree, el encontrado, el abandonado. Soy el que se excita, el que te espera, el que olvida, el que reprime, critica y se entristece. Soy el que miente, el que juzga, el que teme. Soy uno, soy nada, el que pretende y alcanza, el que perdona, duda, se ofende y se extraña. Soy el que compone y drena, cierra los ojos y persevera, el que se perturba, se masturba y te sueña. Soy el que evade, no evade, te enfrenta y recapacita, te arropa y mira. Soy el que ama, el que drena, el que se engaña y odia, rechaza y reza. Soy lo malo, soy la tristeza, soy yo, el que piensa y camina. Quiero verte hoy, quiero verte siempre. III.- Persecu_ A veces queremos dejar huellas de nada. IV.- Me he perdido tantas veces… cada vez me cuesta más encontrarme. Entre la noche y cada pisada mía no defino los sonidos. Quizás no pretendo encontrarme. Espero a la mañana para buscar tus respiros. De noche los veo, ya no los espero en mi oido. Mañana vuelvo a casa. Cada vez me cuesta más encontrarme.

…to Diego who cruises the sea 

Diego, the moon & the sea.mp3 (Rough mix)

I woke up today in a weird mood. After getting married at the seashore, wearing exuberant clothes and naked feet I took a deep nonsense sleep. I dreamt a… no, I didn’t dream. In the meantime I met him: philosopher, ascetic and capricious.

Then he told me his story:

Night: He stood for a long time by the sea interested in his doubts and sensations. After numerous slow minutes he began to be unnoticed. Knowing or not that he had been ignored he decided to swim under the sun.

Diego, the sea: Every star has a sound, wrinkled and prudent is a color, at least a tone of some pair. While they grow and bounce on the water they wait and stay preserved with joy. When the sun falls they appear afloat.

Moon: One stroke, two strokes… three strokes, four strokes… He was hope and illussion. Every immersion became eternal; every immersion was reflection and rest.

The dream: A wave is a phrase, a message that intimidates and disappears, then attracts and resigns, until I become sea it rise me and makes me feel sleepy

The ship: Fifteen strokes, sixteen strokes… almost dancing he deepens without stop. He was always anxious and happy, eager to find more road. Knowing or not that he had been watched the night began to grow.

The shore: Hum! Ah! Hum! Ah! A big ship was rowing. The illussion ignored the fatigue, the moon was lightning and making day behind the oars. The tide revealed and concealed, revealed and concealed, revealed and concealed… revealed and concealed… revealed and concealed… revealed and concealed…

The End: He fell in a deep sleep and then became night, moon and life. Years passed by and he found love, he took it with naked feet and exuberant clothes to the seashore and celebrated the ceremony that now bind them.

He rested all night… The next day he found a kid that would tell him his story.

The Theme

“Diego, the moon & the sea” is part of La Uña, El Martillo y Los Pensamientos Imposibles (2009)
Writen & recorded by Xavier Losada

Picture: Hugo Losada
Paint “Diego, la luna y el mar”: Andrea Ces

“…I think of his music as a remembrance of a state to which every human being, at his prime, wishes to return, and within the same feeling of deprivation, the dark conscience of something now missing and once owned should be hidden away”.
August Strindberg, Inferno

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Persecu_.mp3

The Music

In 1993 I listened to Astor Piazzolla for the first time. It was like any other day of my teenage years: At Luis Fernando’s, guitar, Ice Tea, cigarettes & lot of talk. I remember taking a few Leonel Persecuta among them. We said something about opera - we weren’t at the disposition to listen to it at the moment - and walked back to the room. Two guys, age 14, a year from the death of this unknown man and 16 years on from that recording discover something that will change their lives without even knowing. For many years that followed “El Troesma” played songs like “Cité Tango”, “Pia-sol-la-sol” and “Persecuta” always enlightening and teaching me. Later on I stumbled onto Tango: Zero Hour, La Camorra as well as the need to listen to his music for the first time.

Ten years on from that late adolescent afternoon, as I began to write Escritorio, I began to listen to that recording and decided to make it part of my new reality; from my day to day to any old afternoon.

The Story

Inspired in an imaginary Silent Film Festival with live music and in the complaints I received for my handwriting over the years:

“They began to roll the film only after they made us read what was to happen. There seems to be certain rules; I believe that one of them demands that the text be written in letters legible by all. They would face a problem when an illiterate person takes part.

The text narrated the story of an anonymous who was walking on an odd day of the month. It described the psychological persecution of “anonymous” after he passed through the glance of another unknown.

The film is affected by the audiences knowledge of the story; The film’s singular purpose is to heighten tensions, deepen emotions.

They began to roll the film only after they made us read what was to happen. The last time I went this month (apparently it’s become habit) I closed my eyes during the music. I couldn’t see a single image, strangely, I am always walking with fear of turning around, fear of knowing that it is chasing me, fear of running, of opening my eyes and not understanding, not knowing what it was all about.

I never learnt to read.”

The Theme

Persecu_ is part of Escritorio

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Today I found Piazzolla as one of the greatest composers of the 20th century.

“…Amazingly,
I am too the memory of a sword,
and of a solitary, falling sun,
turning itself to gold, then gray, then nothing.
I am the one who sees the approaching ships
from harbor. And I am the dwindled books,
the rare engravings worn away by time…”
Jorge Luis Borges, I

The Evolution*
- click each image to listen -

Demo 1.mp3

Demo 2.mp3

Demo 3.mp3

Demo 4.mp3

No Ego.mp3

*Images by Daz Medrano

The Theme

No Ego was written by Xavier Losada & Daz Medrano
from the album Blood + Karma by Triad

Produced by Xavier Losada
Engineered and Mixed by Ricardo Martínez
Assistant Engineer: Gabriel Álvarez
Recorded & mixed at Remoto Estudio - Caracas, Venezuela
Mastered at Precision Mastering by Tom Baker

David Marcano + Drums
Daniel “New” Pirone + Bass
Daz Medrano + Guitar & Voices

…as a whole-life-rite I walked into my room, took my needle; smiled once again at Sabato’s volume and left for the kitchen.
What hurt me the most was not being able to look at my baby anymore.

The Hypothesis

We think in the future. We think in the past - remember. I believe the changes of frequency and intensity of this notion makes us different from moment to moment.

Today, as I walk, I glance at the future more than the past. For this reason I made an hypothesis of life - my vision of life (See diagram below)

As we grow up our vision of the future increases, we tend to look back less, until a certain point when the past regains importance. Suddenly - maybe gradually - our thoughts decline. With death they reach infinity.

I took my hypothesis to Gerry Weil (Pianist and mentor) and asked him to make his own:

Interesting.

Our eyes, our rites, your room and rest, On Heroes and Tombs, Gerry and I are changing with everything that can be remembered, looked upon and unexpected.

Initial Vision

“While the road to otherness doesn’t stop being heard, I wake up with a normal day, trying not to think of some things and after thinking them I continue to follow my road.

Impatient to reach the line, sometimes I try to speed-up my steps. I’ll never know If my effort is in vain. I’ll always be another.

I love to look at the way back, even though I know there isn´t one. I can imagine the long travelled distances and the beginning seems so far… when it is so close.”

The Conclusion

Road to otherness.mp3

Background

Based on the book El camino de la alteridad (The road of otherness) by Antonio López Ortega is part of Escritorio (Track #6) and was part of a compilation of rock music in Venezuela by Gozadera Records.

What’s your hypothesis?

“Living characters! Life must be represented not as it is,
but as it ought to be;
as it appears in dreams”
Anton Chekhov, The Sea-Gull

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Systole…

8000, Dream.mp3, concept, live, water, forget, MDE, beer, Chernobyl Dreams, work, Wahala, Speed Racer, Kortála.mp3, Geoffrey Chaucer - The Canterbury Tales, H, supermarket, think, Orchestra seats, Triad, 6870, Adolfo Herrera, Goyan Bego, the work, Messiaen, coffee, acantilado, The nail, the hammer & the impossible thoughts, Ricardo Martínez, Otrova Gomas – El virus del humor, record, deficiencies, Spain Embassy, J, producers, Interlude.mp3, dream, guitar, 7:30 a.m., Sony, chocolate, Bruno, joy, Skama Sweet Selection, P, accident, 5205,  By the Open Sea.mp3, whistles, C, Javier Melero, hear, People talk.mp3, Marlene, Andrea, surreal,  you,  languages, Edgar Allan Poe – Poetry Essays, I’m not some one else dream, piano, read, write, A, freedom hours,  3427, Elias, The rite of the crashed ambulance.mp3, stop, Composing Stories, giants, no music, cry, F, cart, Ernest Hemingway – From whom the bell tolls, 2024, reflection, NVV, analyze, La Salle, Carlitos, Windmills, supercapitalism, Vasos Comunicantes – Bruno Galindo, SAP, divorce, supermarket, feel, Gerry Weil, Spoken Word, D, Remoto, Reading of the small print of a life insurance to a safer death.mp3,  999, F.S.C. Santiago, grow, Cuentos de los aborígenes australianos - Anneliese Löffler, through the middle of the street, bed, “Smile, this is a recording”, Dim bandera as boolean, Labyrinth, Alessia y Diego, dizziness, Juanito, sleep, M, zero, 3 rooms.

…diastole

Readings
Compositions & recordings*
People & stuff that matters.

————————————————–

*
Xavier Losada & Bruno Galindo - Demo
Recorded: 24 April, 2008 in Remoto Estudio
+
27 de Abril in Los Tulipitos Nº 6
by Ricardo Martínez

Kortála.mp3
is part of the play Kortala
Music: Xavier Losada
Drums, percussion & arrangement: Adolfo Herrera
Bass guitar & arrangement: Ricardo Martínez
Guitar, keys & programming: Xavier Losada
Recorded, mixed and masterized by Ricardo Martínez in Remoto Estudio.

“In visions of the dark night
I have dreamed of joy departed-
But a waking dream of life and light
Hath left me broken-hearted…”
Edgar Allan Poe, A Dream

The Method

Usually when I write for theater I begin making the script’s main theme. I read it a couple of times, write down the emotions I get and research all the relevant aspects. A few ideas arrive to my head.

In Love, the main theme evokes a light, carefree mood of innocence. For months it went this way => F-B#-C#-B-G in a 5×8 over F# Major.

Once I got the main theme done I write the main characters’ music and recreate the scenes I found strongest. These steps have helped me cover a big part of the play in relatively short time, even though the rehearsals tend to be a surprise to the composition.

The Concept

For one of the characters I used the main melody, now with an aggressive and more determined point of view. Mutating the main theme helps giving consistency to the play and linking emotions among scenes. Military Chief 1.mp3

I also wanted to link the music of each character to its representation of power so I could easily decouple them. Military Chief 2.mp3

In Love the image of the play would be far more realistic than I thought on each reading (Three Soldiers.mp3 – The Reunion.mp3), so I left the written sketches as they were- rough and in some way more tangible. At rehearsals I began working with textures; I began experimenting with sticks inside the piano which increased the tension and emotional contrast of the text.

Love, musically and spontaneously, turned into an etude in the second season after not finding a counterbass and having to adapt the score to solo piano.

The Demo

Main Theme

Love.mp3

The Shows

June 9-11,  2005.
Centro Cultural Corp Group.
CCS, Venezuela

April 28-30, 2006.
Columbia University (Schapiro Theatre)
605 West 115th Street (between Broadway and Riverside)
New York, USA

November 27- December 16, 2006.
Kraine Theater. (LaMaMa E.T.C., in its Annex Theatre at 74A East 4th Street.)
New York, USA.

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A Review

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Cast and Crew

Love was conceived and directed by Juan Souki
Aryeh Lappin, K.K. Maggie, Kate LoConti, Melinda Helfrich, Isaac Woofter & William Fenderson / Jeremy Bobb & Gil Bar-Sela

Score by Xavier Losada
Piano: Xavier Losada / Thomas Channel
Stop-motion: Alejandro Armas
Graphic Design: Alex Wright
Video Design: Luber Mujica.
Lighting Design: Bryan Keller
Costume Design: Amelia Dombrowski

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Love is probably the play that has given me the most emotion, depletion, introspection, development and at certain moments even frustration - A great experience.

“There is no such thing as an empty space or an empty time. There is always something to see, something to hear.”
John Cage

I. The song started as a research of noise, rhythm and melody interpreting certain amusia‘ degrees.

II. Later, I saw The Rest is Noise. The title inmediately made me think it would be part of the theme.

III. With a half-read book I started to write. 4:33 by John Cage would give shape and sense to the composition.

Amusia walks, minute after minute, between noise, rest & melody until it reachs our surroundings, the no-silence.

…maybe rest.

Amusia.mp3

What is rest? What is noise? What is this all about? Sounds & crowd making their way. Just listen, listen their way. Silence.

Thanks Alex Ross for “The Rest is Noise“.

“Still, even the imagination is not completely unbounded, or at least is unbounded only within limits, I have found.”
Imre Kertész, Fateless

The book

Imre Kertész - Fateless
The Nobel Prize in Literature 2002

The Song

After a minute, between fate and illusion, emerges the obstinatto, a melody that reminds of me sitting on stage at the piano, just about longing.

Immediately after, the piano and percussion begin to tell the truth, a reality that seems to hit but you don’t understand, you live.

Later on anguish’ textures shows up. I’ll never forget the image of soles pasted to the skin. Feet and wood made one. The uncertainty is there, always accompanying.

When in the theme I start to wander, to look back and think in destiny I call immersed the day-to-day life, the freedom and the fateless. With them goes otherness, a path that we feel but don’t predict.

The beginning… heroic and enigmatic as the end.

Sin Destino.mp3

I didn’t believe in the devil until I heard those drums, drums beaten by three dead and a lifeless. Scary King Vulture was no more. It was mandinga and my deceased dance. My feet trembled to the rhythm of the hands of those three lifeless and a dead. Stalking King Vulture was no more. I sweated over fire and danced ‘til dawn; I thought maybe this devil is me made drum, made rhythm, made free.

One drum stopped, I find no rest. Another one stopped, “What’s happening?” and I keep dancing. No screams. No drums. I think of mandinga, and turn around. No life. No drum. King Vulture has killed us.*

When I first heard Venezuela - Chants et tambours des confréries noires I decided to write a theme with Venezuelan drums. I started collecting sounds of drums and percussion sticks.

In the meantime the scope of the theme took shape: A tribute to Arturo Uslar Pietri’s short stories, specially to “El Rey Zamuro” (The King Vulture) and “El baile del tambor” (The dance of the drum), embodying the idea of a rich and incomplete country, a draft of a country. I ought to give an uncertain destiny to those sketches.

That’s the reason of mandinga, King Vulture, the deceased dance - a structure that begins and goes back again, a slightly out-of-tune guitar and a rhythm full of tones, textures and colors.

“Bosquejo de Tierra Firme” (Draft of dry land) is part of Escritorio.

Bosquejo de Tierra Firme

* Text: Xavier Losada. English translation by Ceci Egan.