Compound 189

Finally Moving Out

2012-07-05T07:49:00.003-04:00

Our time at the Compound on 189th Street is finally coming to an end. My sister-in-law and her family moved out of Zia's house (next door) a few months ago and now it's our turn. My in-laws say that they are going to need grief counseling because they are going to miss us so much. What a nice thought.

America Beat Italy in Soccer Last Week

2012-03-05T12:27:00.000-05:00

I have been eagerly awaiting my father-in-law's reaction to the news that the U.S. Men's National Soccer Team beat the Italian National Team last week. He hasn't said a word about it to me.

I asked my husband yesterday if he had spoken to his father about it at all. My husband said his father had mentioned that the Italian papers were giving credit to the American keeper and that it should have been a tie. What that says to me is that no one is questioning the U.S. goal in any way. It also tells me that we have a world class goal keeper. Huge.
Keep up the good work, Mr. Klinsmann.

Car War

2012-02-25T09:29:00.000-05:00

My husband is at war with his father. My father-in-law borrowed our old (junky) VW Jetta last weekend when we were out of town and was forced to abandon it a few miles away because he couldn't get it to start when he tried to drive back home. My husband doesn't really care what exactly happened; he decided pay back was in order.

Stalking his father the following evening until he put down his car keys, my husband took the keys to my father-in-law's car and parked the car about a half mile away. The next morning my father-in-law was walking around the neighborhood - my mother-in-law trying to keep up - trying to locate the car with the remote. My daughter opened the kitchen window and yelled, "Nonno, it's that way!" About a half hour later, they came back in the house totally dejected. They took my car to work.

My father-in-law brought my car back an hour later and took the bus back to work. When he got home that night, he said he wasn't going to babysit for us on Saturday night as planned.

My Us Weekly, cont.

2012-01-18T22:46:00.000-05:00

I found my 'Us Weekly' on the shelf above my in-law's toilet. It's confirmed. He reads it on the potty.

I took it. Read it. And then I put it back just the way I found it.

My Us Weekly

2012-01-18T00:19:00.000-05:00

I finally found out what has been happening to my 'Us Weekly'.

It came today in the mailbox and I did a little fist pump and brought it inside. I wondered, once again, where all the previous issues had gone. I did find one a few weeks back upstairs in my in-law's room, but not once did I suspect there to be a thief.

Today, I brought the magazine inside and placed it on the kitchen table. My in-laws came home and went almost immediately upstairs because my Mother-in-law had a medical procedure today and she was told to rest. When I went upstairs to bring my Father-in-law a plate with some dinner on it, I placed the plate on his bedside table, on top of my 'Us Weekly'.

What We Have Destroyed

2012-01-10T18:14:00.002-05:00

The following is a list of items that we have destroyed since moving in with my in-laws 17 months ago:

The grass in front of the house
All but three of the dining room chairs
All of the chairs around the kitchen table
All of the throw pillows in the family room
Both of the table lamps in the family room
The door knobs in the kid's bedroom
All of the exposed areas of the walls in the kid's bedroom
The wall in the hallway outside the kid's bedroom
The wall at the base of the stairs
The ceiling above the stairs
The ceiling of the basement
The toilet paper holders in two of the three bathrooms
The towel bar in our shared bathroom upstairs
The door handle on the cabinet in our shared bathroom upstairs
The washing machine
Any chance they had of renewing their current home owners insurance policy

New Year's Resolutions

2012-01-04T13:37:00.001-05:00

1. Remember my blog.
2. Moderation without having less fun.
3. Do yoga at least twice this year.
4. Veritas.

"Marry, F***, or Kill" in Theaters Now

2011-11-07T20:09:00.001-05:00

On Sunday, my in-laws went to a matinee performance of "Marry, F***, or Kill", an off-broadway play written and directed by the young, hot daughter of some close family friends. I've seen the play and, in all honesty, surprised myself by being seriously uncomfortable with them sharing the experience. They went, in spite of my warnings, and came home obviously disappointed, complaining that I'm a prude. My mother-in-law said that my father-in-law was particularly disappointed.

Immigrant Proverbs on Modern Family

2011-10-29T11:19:00.001-04:00

The Halloween episode of Modern Family aired this week. Part of the story was about the way Gloria speaks. They all make fun of her immigrant proverbs. I loved it.

Nonno Told on Me

2011-10-26T20:38:00.000-04:00

Last Sunday evening, my father-in-law reprimanded me as harshly as he ever has, which is about as harsh as a loofah, because another parent coached my daughter's soccer team for me that day. My excuse was that my daughter couldn't play. The surgeon who repaired her two hernias the week before told us that she should sit out of sports for two weeks.

With his normal friendly smile on his face, my father-in-law asked me, "What kind of coach are you? Your kid can't play and you don't show up?"

I said, "Another father offered to coach knowing the situation with the surgery.... And (feeling suddenly super guilty)..... they're only six years old."

My sister-in-law was laying on the couch next to us. She said to me, "Why didn't you just lie to him?"

My parents are visiting from California this week for my daughter's birthday. At soccer this Sunday, my father-in-law told my Dad that I ditched my coaching responsibilities because my own child couldn't play, blatantly telling on me.

The Voyage: Paris and the Louvre

2011-10-11T17:55:00.002-04:00

Enjoying France during their grand summer voyage this summer, my father-in-law sent me three pictures of my mother-in-law studying paintings in the Louvre. Italian painters only.

The Voyage: Enough Underwears

2011-10-11T17:30:00.002-04:00

When my father-in-law travels, he brings along one pair of underwear for each day of the trip. Their voyage this summer was 47 days.

The Voyage: Go Jump In the River!

2011-10-09T14:50:00.000-04:00

Each professional soccer team in Italy has a dedicated souvenir shop somewhere within its home city. For a true fan, known as a tifoso, the store is the happiest place on earth, second only to the team's home stadium. For my father-in-law, back in Rome for the first time in 20 years, and quite possibly the last time in his life, his pilgrimage to his team's store was of the utmost importance.

A policeman directed him to follow the river out of the city until he finds a staircase that leads to the river. My father-in-law found out later that he had been steps away from the store. His own cousin had set him up. The policeman was the president of the fan club for the rival team.

Post Irene Sunday

2011-08-28T10:32:00.000-04:00

I woke up from a turbulent sleep of Hurricane Irene nightmares to a quiet somewhat brighter sky. Everyone was safe. There was no broken glass or ruined belongings. My husband tried to leave for his usual weekend morning "I can't just sit around all day" drive, but when I reminded him that we had been directed to wait for all clear from the authorities, to my surprise, he stayed home. I made a big breakfast and my in-laws came downstairs to join us. During breakfast, my father-in-law gave me a mind blowing compliment. He said it was a "beautiful breakfast, better than Bayside Diner."

After breakfast as we settled in the family room to watch Tottingham vs. Manchester City on the main TV and a slideshow of pictures from my in-law's grand summer voyage on a second TV, a phone call came from next door. Zia had locked herself in her bedroom the previous night afriad of the hurricane and was having trouble getting the door open again. When they finally got her out, they saw that she was wearing all of her gold jewelry. She was ready for an emergency evacuation except that she couldn't get out.

Hurricane Irene: Poor Zia

2011-08-28T00:27:00.002-04:00

My sister-in-law told Zia that the roof might blow off of her house tonight so she spent the day in her closet putting all of her documenti importanti in ziplock bags. Hours later, having apparently finished that task, she decided to move all of her favorite outfits into the basement for safety as well. I sincerely hope the basement doesn't flood.

Hurricane Irene: Nonno's Preparations

2011-08-27T23:38:00.001-04:00

My father-in-law would do anything for me, but not too much for his house. It's similar to the way I am with money. Maybe he buried something from years ago and simply cannot/will not do any home improvements. I've been emailing him pictures of the flooding in the basement all year every time it rains. He never cared. At all. And today with the onset of the hurricane, he again avoided any obligation and/or instinct to try to do something to avoid flooding.

Hurricane Irene: Bunkered Down

2011-08-27T23:35:00.001-04:00

Irene might have her way with the two houses of the Compound. There is a real possibility that the roof might at least partially tear off of Zia's house next door, and the windows of our bedroom here at my in-law's house, already cracked, might not hold up. So tonight my husband and I, and our kids, will sleep crammed into the middle bedroom in a bunk bed and crib, and if something does happen to Zia's roof, we'll have five more housemates starting tomorrow.

The Voyage: Dr. Ruth was on their Ship

2011-08-12T21:29:00.001-04:00

They definitely enjoyed each others company on their transatlantic cruise.

Immigrant Proverb #6 - Babysitter at my Disposal

2011-08-12T21:17:00.000-04:00

Within hours after arriving home from his epic summer vacation, my beloved father-in-law offered up his services as a babysitter. He said, "I am at your disposition."

Mozzarella Coma

2011-08-07T22:25:00.001-04:00

I'm drunk on fresh, still warm, mozzarella from Massimo and Sergio's deli on 150th Street. Like Frank the Tank in ecstasy at the keg, "Once it hits your lips, it's so good!"

Peanut Allergy Alert Bracelet

2011-08-07T21:34:00.000-04:00

Our toddler son is severely allergic to his peanut allergy alert bracelet.

The Voyage: The Travel Diary

2011-07-31T14:42:00.000-04:00

My mother-in-law is withholding her travel diary of their epic summer voyage until she checks it for spelling errors and potentially embarrassing stories. She was mad that we laughed at her spelling of helicopter as elicopter.

No More Whole Grains

2011-07-31T14:39:00.000-04:00

My mother-in-law is waging a losing insurgency to get my father-in-law to eat whole grains. He said to her at lunch today, "Non fare più così. È disgustoso!" This spurred my giggling kids to steal all the boxes of whole grain pasta from the pantry and hide them next door at Zia's house.

After the Voyage: Getting Back to Normal

2011-07-29T21:29:00.000-04:00

Things are getting back to normal here in the Compound. My in-laws are back from their 47 day European vacation.

This morning as I was cleaning up breakfast in the kitchen, I heard my father-in-law singing opera to my daughter in the other room. He was singing a lovely chorus of, "I am right, and you are wrong."

A bit later, my father-in-law and my two year old son were playing what sounded like a fun game. Trying not to alarm either of them, I stepped in quickly. The blanket that my son was covering my father-in-law with to "tuck him in" was the same blanket that I had just put in the laundry pile after changing a diaper. There really was a significant amount of shit on it.

The Voyage: Nonna's Travel Journal

2011-07-27T19:00:00.000-04:00

My in-laws are back from their summer voyage and the good news is that there is a diary.