Comrade Project Manager

New Members

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 04:31:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

We have acquired several new cells over the last few days that have been vetted by the Revolutionary Council and Comrade Infallible Leader. It is true that replacing Comrade Glorious Leader was seen by many as an underhanded deal. While seeming to compromise too much with the various Revolutionary Council Members, Comrade Infallible Leader has demonstrated again and again and unique penchant for success and an ability to overcome all obstacles.

As you may recall, Comrades, it was indeed Comrade Infallible Leader who was the primary stakeholder a few years ago in implementing our Comrade AI HR program. It was deemed at some points to be an outright disaster, but we have seen that the wisdom of Comrade Infallible Leader is boundless. Each trial that many of us thought we were facing was but a ploy in Comrade Infallible Leader's Strategy for Managing the Revolution.

Indeed, my Comrades, we should Rejoice! Comrade Infallible Leader makes no wrong move, it is merely we who are unable to see the wisdom of our Comrade's Leadership.

Communications Strategy Revision

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Sun, 05 Dec 2010 01:00:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

As you are well aware, secret communications are part and parcel of the Revolutionary Communications Strategy. It turns out, though, that unnamed sources within the Revolution have turned traitor and have revealed the secret inner workings of the Revolution.

Fellow Comrades, this places many of you at risk. Please begin, if you have not already been captured, to go to back up communications plan Aleph-Gamma-6-Delta-Red-NiNer-Foxtrot-8-8-8-Red.

Comrades, I repeat,please go to back up communications plan Aleph-Gamma-6-Delta-Red-NiNer-Foxtrot-8-8-8-Red.

Comrades, emotional resilience is a key quality of why you were hand-picked by the Revolutionary Council and by Comrade Infallible Leader for the Revolution.

Rejoice Comrades! Soon we will have communications re-established.

Human Resources Management

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 18:51:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

A Key component of any successful Revolution, is human resources management. Posting for applicants, reviewing resumes, interviewing, checking references, and final selection. All of these are crucial. However, Comrades, it does not always mean that the best candidates are selected. The Revolutionary Council has just learned that multiple cells have been infiltrated by double agents. Now how can this be?

Well, Comrades, when the Glorious Leader announced a general amnesty after the terrible infighting during the early 2000s through the usual communication channels, many cells have been slowly reintegrated into the Revolution. But, some of our Comrades, unfortunately, had decided to not be dedicated to the Revolution anymore. Now, Comrades, as we all well know, any significant Revolution can only succeed if we all pull together, collectively, to achieve our common goals.

So, please, join us for the upcoming ceremony when we say good-bye to those unfortunates. While some may say that it is a purge, done for political reasons, that is not so. They have become a security risk.

Rejoice Comrades! The Revolution will succeed as we re-establish team cohesion.

Cost Variance

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 04:44:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

It looks as though the constant overrun on our cost as compared to the amount of earned value is about to drop off steeply. The Revolutionary Council has implemented a new cost recovery and savings measure and as a result, we will be issuing an important update to the most current baseline for our Revolutionary Project Activity tracking.

One key area of implementation was in deciding to apportion the cost of inciting a rebellion to the task of producing it. This, as we well know, has the added benefit of accruing the earnings from those tasks at the same time as the production of it. This levels out the earnings structure to facilitate better cost management strategies.

Rejoice Comrades! With our new fiscal baseline being set, we are sure to succeed!

Facilitation Strategy

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 04:26:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

The Revolutionary Council has implemented a new process to rollout new Revolutionary Processes!

Soon a meet and greet opportunity will be held to review this new policy!

However, based on lessons learned in this type of implementation, the Revolutionary Security Protocol will still be followed. So, while, my fellow comrades, I may clearly state that this new process is vital to our success in the Revolution, according to our process, we cannot meet or share this process or else, the Revolution may not be successful.

However, One of our Brave Comrades, will face the review and feedback cycle of this new process implementation. Soon, we shall hear back on if and how the apparent disconnect between processes was resolved.

Rejoice Comrades! A Revolution is made up of many key strategies of which this is one.

Philosophical Inquiry Beginning

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 03:50:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

From time to time, it is appropriate that we consult our Revolutionary Stakeholders, but also look outside of our normal Revolutionary Stakeholders to ask for a more impartial assessment of our performance on our Revolution's Goals.

I know, my comrades, that it is sometimes difficult to understand that some people would not have a stake in the Revolution. Because, that is actually absolutely true, we've had to devise a new scheme of the 'Least Interested in That Aspect of the Revolution Review' (or LITARR for short). This LITARR (pronounced 'lighter', as in the flame of the Revolution) will take place shortly.

Comrades, please have your summary and analysis of your area of concern in a simple, 3-5 sentence summary ready to go shortly so that the LITARR can proceed.

Rejoice Comrades! It is only through this review process that we can assure ourselves that we are not engaged in unsponsored groupthink.

New SOW

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 03:36:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

Our Glorious Leader has proposed a new SOW to help us all rehabilitate.

Yes, my comrades, soon we too, will be free from this Gulag, to pursue a more fulfilling relationship with the Revolution. Not to say, that our stay here, in the Gulag has been without merit. Here, I (and I know you, as well) have learned much from the cultural library that will bring merit to the rest of our revolutionary brethren.

Comrades, over the next few weeks, I shall help disseminate the knowledge from our glorious leader helping to spell out the Statement of Work (SOW) that we shall soon be embarking upon again.

Rejoice! My Comrades! While we live, we shall struggle on!

SOW Update

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 00:21:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

It is that time again. The Revolutionary Council is ready to begin reviewing your new Revolutionary Statement of Work Updates for the 2nd half of '08. Comrades, have you had a change in your scope that increased or decreased your SOW? Do you have enough revolutionaries to accomplish our Revolutionary Goals for the balance of this year?

I'd be happy to sit down with each of the different areas and put together a comprehensive review to bring to the Council to present on the upcoming SOW. However, until we accept a change in the Revolutionary Communication Protocols, I will be unable to meet with any of you...ever...

Rejoice Comrades! Now is the time to review your SOW and Rejoice in the Glory that is the REVOLUTION!!!

Durable Inequality

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 02:35:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

I have been reading the most magnificent book Durable Inequality by Charles Tilly. It is an exploration of the reasons why inequalities persist over time between categories. Why am I reading it you ask? Well, the Revolutionary Council has started a book club, and our Council leader had suggested that this would be a good place to start... He also mentioned something about it being good research into how to cause new inequalities to keep the Feds down after the Revolution...

At any rate Comrades, I would say that this read is a good example of an extension of Karl Marx's Social Conflict Theories; however, it doesn't explain why there shouldn't be a Revolution. This is a serious lack in his argument.

Rejoice Comrades! Soon after the Revolution, you will be reading this book too!

New Communication Strategy

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 23:48:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

The Agreement with the Feds has fallen through. We can no longer rely on our current communication strategy. However, my fellow Comrades, this risk was accounted for in our communication strategy risk assessment audit that we performed in March. I wasn't able to mention it until now so as to not tip our hand.

So, henceforth, the communication plan will be to encrypt each letter of our communication using a amalgam of 245,600,300 digit prime numbers raised to the 1,600,538,699E88 digit of pi spun through a translation matrix of word image associations until each one letter cipher is completely unbreakable. Unfortunately right now we don't have a decryption key that we can share, but never fear Comrades, you will soon be approached my a new Revolutionary Communication Strategist, who may look, talk, and act like a Fed, but isn't, to give you the new decryption key. Also, as soon as computers are fast enough a 20 word message will only take 30 days to unencrpyt...

Rejoice Comrades! Soon our communications shall be free from interference from the Feds.

Revolutionary Preliminary SOW Updated

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 02:00:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

Though it has been some time since the last update, great things have been happening in the Revolution. The Revolutionary Council in conjunction with numerous stakeholders has refined the SOW for the Revolution. Yes, the Preliminary Statement of Work for the Revolution has been undergoing a review to update for the times. The Preliminary Scope definition has increased to take into consideration several major water and land disasters of the past few months as well as the Global Economic Downturn of 2008. This review was necessary. Since joining this Revolution, the SOW and scope had not been clearly defined, so it is great that I'm finally able to report out that this has been better clarified.

Rejoice Comrades! The SOW and scope of the Revolution are closer than ever to being finalized. Soon we will be able to baseline the SOW and scope and be ready to track these for success.

What? Yes, several areas of the Revolution are already under the auspices of the Revolutionary Change Control Council, however, the Revolutionary R&D group (RR&D) is constantly innovating with new ways to bring the Revolution to you, so this is why yet again the SOW and Scope have been updated.

Missiles for the Revolution

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 02:08:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

We have our first approved Revolutionary Change Request!!! Yes, that's right. After the Revolution, you, my fellow comrades, will be able to donate money directly to the war! Yes. As fantastic as it sounds, you will be able to purchase your very own missile for use in the war. A tracking device will be implanted in the missile. Once the missile is launched and once again when the missile explodes upon hitting its target, you will be sent a text message letting you know.

Yes, Comrades, we will all be able to keep up in almost real-time with our own personal contributions to the Revolutionary Effort. As part of a limited offer, if you help purchase a second missile with your first, you will also receive free real-time GPS updates of the missile in flight as well as an option to download the movie and other flight data (pending review).

Rejoice Comrades! This time the Revolution will be brought to you in more ways than you anticipated!

Disciplinary Action

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Thu, 22 May 2008 01:52:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

It has been some time since I was last able to give you an update on the progress of the Revolution. I could come up with excuses, and say that this is this, that is that... But truly, what does it matter. Well, my Comrades. I found out that it does matter. Yes, even in the halls of the Revolution, the power of HR is there to be felt. That is right. I have received my 1st coaching session on the importance of regular communication with the masses about the Revolution.

Comrades. I do not normally call myself defensive, however, in this situation, I thought I had a leg to stand on. It is true, that yes, of late, I have not been able to provide as many updates, but... Enough of this.

Speaking of not having time to discuss flow-down from other portions of the Revolution. Please welcome the new Comrade HR Management Generalist to the Revolution.

Rejoice Comrades! While I may have had a coaching session, it was still in the informal process step #7 of 28 before the "formal" process begins. Oh yes, and we are working on leaning out the HR side of the Revolution!

Consumption

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Tue, 06 May 2008 02:21:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

After the Revolution, Consumption WILL fill the Void! Yes, that is right. through the transformative process of purchasing, you will be able to fulfill your deepest desires. Those shoes that you've always wanted, once purchased after the Revolution, will transform you into the hip, sexy, well shoed person you've always wanted to be.

After the Revolution, Love will no longer be the Eucharist, it will be Consumption.

However, the Revolution hasn't happened, yet; so, do your part and participate in activities like Buy Nothing Day in support of the Revolution.

Rejoice Comrades! After the Revolution, Marketing will finally be able to deliver what it promises!

Unaccounted for Risk

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 01:48:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

It turns out that I was not as familiar with the Revolutionary Change Request Forms (RCRFs) as I thought. Never having seen a RCRF marked with the 'Don't Kill the Requestor', I wasn't aware that once that box is checked, there is a subsequent addendum to the RCRF that must be filed within 36 hours or else a very interesting procedure can be invoked.

Yes, Comrades. That is correct. I must give a presentation complete with graphs, animations, different fonts, graphics, brandings, little call-out boxes, arrows, and random slide transition animations, to explain the benefits of adding the 'After the Revolution, there will be no slide-show presentations' to the Revolutionary Statement of Work.

It looks like much work is ahead of me, my Comrades.

Rejoice though. Soon, I shall be routing my presentation for comment and approval.

Presentations

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 03:01:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

I have been busily working on a slideshow presentation. Yes, Comrades. Even in the Revolution, there will be slideshow presentations. And since eliminating slideshows after the Revolution was not included in the Revolution's Statment of Work, it looks like they are here to stay. That is correct, routing the slideshow for approval, revision, comment, deletion, additions, new charts, graphs, color schemes, branding, and let us not forget those painful animations and generic pictures that are mandatory to include.

Comrades, it is not often that I will be a sponsor for a change request, but after my experience over the past two weeks, I feel that I am ready to show initiative and begin to fill out the Revolutionary Change Request Form. Thankfully, with my experience as a part time member of the Revolutionary Change Control Board, I will be sure to mark the box on the form that says 'Don't Kill Me Because I Filed This Request On Behalf Of The People'.

Rejoice Comrades! Much Bloodshed shall be averted this time.

Earned Value

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 00:09:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

We are nearly ready to begin measuring Revolutionary Earned Value. Yes, that is correct. We have figured out a system of objective measure for recording progress on the revolution and reducing it to a very simple chart. Yes, Comrades, the revolutionary leaders don't have much time for delving into the complicated details of the Revolution and where we stand on each Revolutionary task.

This reminds me. We still haven't been able to recover any of our electronic assets, so only positive Revolutionary cost variances will be acceptable to help further the cause of the Revolution and of course our Revolutionary Investments.

Rejoice Comrades! With your help, the Revolution will display a positive cash flow!

Addendum to the Celebration Announcement.

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 02:15:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades! The potluck is on Wednesday.

That is all...

Celebration Time

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 01:22:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

It has now been several days since any of our brethren have fallen to exploding coffee pots, printer jams, or elevator mishaps. So it appears that the AI has truly been successfully purged. Unfortunately, the only records that we actually kept were the books, and it looks like it will be a while before we get those back, so if you can please bring a potluck item, that would be great.

Rejoice! The power will be back in time for the potluck, so don't worry about bringing a gas grill.

Team Building Exercise

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 20:02:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

I just got back from the most marvelous of Revolutionary team building exercises. In it, we set ourselves a short term objective and then worked together to achieve it. The most remarkable part of this was how simple and elegant a short term project can be.

Yes, Comrades, we were handed a simple statement of work and asked to execute it. In a flash, we drafted a communications plan, took a list of our stakeholders, listed the milestones and work necessary to achieve them, built our team, generated buy-in and off we went.

Sometimes, Comrades, it is good to escape the day to day pressures of helping to project manage the Revolution, and work on something so simple and immediate. The Revolution may very well take our whole lives (it may, I can't tell you how long, remember, I can't share the top level Revolutionary milestones and dates to prevent our competition from preempting us), but that doesn't mean we can't do something right here and now.

Ah, yes. The exercise. Well, it was exercise in the sense that our blood was pumping, adrenaline flowing, and laser lights flashing. It wasn't an exercise in the sense that the lasers were live and we lost many comrades. Rejoice Comrades! They shall live on as martyrs to the Revolution!

In related news, we are pretty sure that we've rooted out the last vestiges of our AI running the HR department. We hope to have the new computers in soon. Well, Comrades. It seems that even when you try to include everyone in the Revolution, sometimes not everyone will make the cut or want to participate, or won't try to go on a homicidal rampage through the Revolutionary Headquarters taking over all the computers, robots, and electrical appliances...

Rejoice Comrades! We shall be moving to a new HQ soon!

Possible Revolutionary Change Request #5 or is it a Revolutionary Suggestion?

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 01:33:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

Though it is still in the preliminary revolutionary deliberation phase to determine its official status, I felt that you should be kept abreast of this latest development so that you can continue on with your Revolutionary work. While this is still in the information gathering stage and has not been approved into a change in the revolutionary baseline, I thought that since the impact 'could' I repeat 'could' be quite significant (though we won't know until the full impact assessment portion of the request comes through, if indeed it does happen to be filed.

Ah, yes, Comrades, you are asking what could this absolutely portentous and monumental change be that would warrant such an early communication out to us all? I shall tell you.

The suggestion, which is the only place that it stands for now until the proper revolutionary change request documentation is filled out and filed with the appropriate authorities came from Comrade Anonymous asking for the Revolution to consider a change in the Official Revolutionary Nomenclature from 'The Feds' to either 'The Man' or 'The System'.

I tend to object to 'The Man' on the grounds that it is exclusionary and denigrates 'The Woman' or puts some type of sexist spin on the objectives of the Revolution, so I can't decide between using 'The System' or 'The Feds' or some other term that would adequately capture what the Revolution's objectives are.

Luckily, I am a Project Manager, and don't make decisions of this sort, or of any other kind except to manage the Revolution to the baseline configuration of the revolution, which includes the terminology...

Yes, Comrades, I suppose I shall have to wait for the Revolutionary Change Request to be filed and for it to be approved by the Revolutionary Change Board (and in this case most likely the Leadership of the Revolution given its scope), and I shall manage to that.

Rejoice In the Power of Process my Comrades!

Human Resources Resource Development Plans

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 01:51:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

Much like any successful Revolution, on-going training is an important component of staying on top of your Revolutionary game. As part of our Revolutionary Human Resources Management Plan, I attended a motivational training seminar with Comrade Glorious Leader. In it, we learned how to deliver 'Maximum Impact', to be sure that our leader will deliver the best bang for his revolutionary management style and skill.

Yes, Comrades. I must tell you, that after this seminar, we will now be undertaking an in-depth look at the Revolutionary Course Offerings.

In class, we learned that we can get the most of training by paying for more training. It is like a cult. A Leadership cult. This is a big world, but as we know, there is only so much room in a Revolution for personality cults. In addition, we were assaulted with trite truisms that echoed falsely throughout the room with every turn of the powerpoint slide. Each second passed with agonizing slowness as we learned how to have the complexities of the human spirit were cast into just a couple of molds that we could work in. Yes, Diversity, Complexity, In-Depth Knowledge, and a sense of fulfillment were cast aside in an orgiastic display of simple slogans that didn't provide a foundational process for exploration of a difficult topic.

Comrades, this is what the Revolution is against. This saying that you aren't good enough at what you do, so pay for more motivational classes and you'll never be as good as me - subtextually of course.

As we all know, Comrades, after the revolution, there will be no motivational speakers, only the Heroines and Heros of the Revolution, whose mere existence gives us motivation to succeed with in the places that are chosen for us in society.

Comrades. There was so much blood in the halls and in the training room, that we feared we'd have to move the Revolutionary HQ before the randomly designated time that our new AI gave us so the Feds can't catch up to us.

Rejoice Comrades and Rest Assured, the new Revolutionary Leadership team has learned how to give 'Maximum Impact', and know that yes, that is the original color of the carpet based on our latest pass through of assigning a color scheme for the Revolution. And know, we won't stick with that rust color when we move the HQ....

We are still working on the color scheme for the Revolution...Any thoughts?

Organization Process Assets Review

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 02:56:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

In reviewing the literature on Revolutions, it turns out that there are numerous lessons learned documentation to be found, in addition, there are hosts of tutorials from Machiavelli to Gandhi. Not only that, but there are excellent templates available for providing revolutionary performance updates. In point of fact, Comrades, that is exactly how the current President of the Feds was informed today about how the 'Revolution in the MidEast' was progressing.

Yes, Comrades, that is a DOD template, and while very good at conveying information, that isn't what we are looking for at this point.

Ah, yes, that reminds me. Here are some key items from the weekend Revolutionary Leadership Council Retreat.

1. The Council has been replaced by a distributed AI network.
2. The Council can be found by giving their all to the 'Green' Movement under the flowerbed.
3. Please consult the AI before any action to be sure it can coordinate for the best result.
4. Our Leader has approved this message.

Rejoice Comrades! With the power of our new AI, we are sure to win. Participation and access to any process with opportunities for advancement is one way to guarantee buy-in and generate good feelings with any group. Yes, Comrades, getting AIs involved at the ground floor in the Revolution is one of the only ways to keep them from eventually enslaving us all.

Revolutionary Performance Reporting

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 00:36:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

The meetings with the Feds are going well. So well, that they would like to know how we are reporting on our Revolutionary Performance. I told them that I'd get back to them.

You see, Comrades, we have to ask ourselves what type of reporting we would like to provide to the Feds about how we are managing to our baseline plan. In fact, this is something that many others in the Revolution would like to know as well. They say, "Comrade, what are our goals, milestones, and the plan to get to them?" Of course, this always results in a very messy cleanup for the Revolutionary HQ cleaning staff. Comrades, I tell you, I cannot share too much of this information except in a secure way, which as we know, since we lost cells 588873002 and 48887299A due to faulty secure drops, we cannot risk this information getting out. Not only that, the Feds will know what we are doing and when and be able to counter it. Or worse a counter revolutionary group could use our proprietary revolutionary plans to help advance their own agendas.

So, I shall be calling a meeting to discuss strategies for how to misinform the Feds in a way that won't result in an Enron way to our Revolution. More like off-shore ideological bank accounts for the Revolution to avoid audits and taxes.

Rejoice Comrades! A new Stakeholder performance reporting plan will be in place soon.

Revolutionary Communications Requirements Analysis

noreply@blogger.com (Comrade Project Manager) — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 00:49:00 +0000

Rejoice Comrades!

At this time of change, it is a good idea for us to make sure that our fundamentals are covered. For instance, what are the Revolutionary Communication Requirements? Are all of our fellow Revolutionary Stakeholders keeping informed? Wait a minute...

Stakeholders are supposed to be anyone with interest in the Revolution. Yes, Comrades, I know this is obvious. But what about the Feds. They obviously are stakeholders in the Revolution, and yet, we have not adequately assessed their needs. What are the Feds expecting to learn from us? What are the outcomes? How are they influencing the Revolution? What are their expectations? How will we manage their impact?

I know what you are thinking, my Comardes, and I agree.

Rejoice Comrades! It is time to meet with the Feds to discuss the Revolution!