Confections

2013-05-11T13:06:00.002-07:00

The perfect tee for these warm summer months. Wear with a little skirt at the farmer's market, cut-off jean shorts while relaxing in the backyard with an icy drink or with not-much-at-all while you sleep.

I've taken my favorite vintage embroidery pattern (same one I have tattooed over my shoulder) and hand-embroidered it on some soft, comfy sleeveless knit tees for summer.

They are available in sizes:
-Small (3/5)
-Medium (7/9)
-Large (11/13)
-X-Large (15/18)
-XX-Large (19)

Contact me if you'd like to order one! I can custom-create one with any color roses you prefer.

$35/each & please allow 2 weeks for custom-creating and shipping.

More New Ribbons & Trims!

2010-11-17T18:16:00.001-08:00

Decadent French Daydream: HERE

Set of 3 velvet ribbon and flowers: HERE

Sweet Pink Linen Rag Ribbon & Vintage Milinery Flower: HERE

Wide French Blue Rag Ribbon & Brown Velvet Ribbon: HERE

Decadent French Primitive Ribbons & Trim: HERE

Vintage Sheet Music Rag Ribbon: HERE

Decadent Trims & Treats

2010-11-13T22:30:00.001-08:00

Lots of new things are coming out of my studio. I am having so much fun hand-dyeing scrumptious velvet and vintage linen, stamping them, making ruffles out of them, creating romantic bags and...well, so much more! You can find them HERE. Working on lots more, as well.

Here's some photos....

My Great-Grandmother & Velvet Strawberries

2010-11-09T16:32:00.001-08:00

My great-grandmother lived in a tiny house in a beautiful, old neighborhood in Salisbury, Maryland that was filled with beautiful things she has made with her own hands. She worked for The Singer Sewing Machine Co. as a young woman and my mother has many stories of making Barbie doll dresses with her when she was a child. My mother was named Catherine, after her.

Now I have my own Emily Catherine, named after them both, and I can still imagine what the inside of my great-grandmother's little Cape Cod looked and smelled like. It was there I learned how to make a cathedral window quilt and how to make perfect French knots. She had a kitchen decorated in strawberries and I'm sure my fascination with vintage strawberry Wilender linens began at her kitchen table.

These little velvet strawberries are of my design, but they are modeled after the thousands and thousands of velvet strawberries made by women for centuries, at least. Velvet strawberries like this showed up in sewing boxes and used as pincushions, on summer hats and attached to pert little straw purses, many decades ago. You can still find vintage velvet strawberries on eBay or in corners of antique stores if you look hard enough.

I can't stop making them! I'm hand-dyeing the velvet, hand-stitching the strawberries, cutting out little felt leaves, filling them with stuffing and a bit of dried French lavender, stitching them together and then lastly, hand-beading them. It is a delight to make them, from start to finish, and though I'm sure I'll tire of it eventually, for now it's my new favorite thing to do in the evening while I watch t.v. and sip hot cocoa.

I imagine them in lingerie drawers, part of sweet little vintage vignettes or given as a gift. You can hot glue them to a purse, use them as pincushions, give them as gifts, or whatever else you come up with! The possibilities are endless!

I have this little group of 3 pink and 3 blue velvet strawberries listed on eBay right now, so if you want to snatch them up, go HERE.

Boudoir Hangers

2010-09-10T17:08:00.000-07:00

"Remember, always dressing in understated good taste is the same as playing dead."
~Susan Catherine

That's one of the quotes from something I've just finished that I must show you! I'm going to be making/giving these to the girls in my life for Christmas, I think, most of which don't look at my blog, but if you do, try to forget you saw them! ;)

Actually these are for sale in my shoppe, HERE, and I'll be making new ones for Christmas gifts!

I LOVE having satin padded hangers in my closet. There is something about hanging a pretty dress on one, or heck...even a simple t-shirt on one that makes me feel good. I started printing little sayings/quotes on fabric and then sewing them into the necks of the altered art clothing I sell but the other day I had the idea to sew them onto little "mini-quilts" with a little ribbon loop and hang them from the necks of padded hangers. They turned out so sweet!

There are four for now, with more coming soon. They are only $9.99 each, so grab them while you can!

Luxe...and Saucy

2010-09-09T05:00:00.000-07:00

A few "luxe" treats you can find my shoppe, HERE. :) And one slightly more...how shall we say...saucy....item, too. It doesn't HAVE to be saucy. You could always just cook in it... ;)

Studio Pics & A Peek...

2010-09-08T21:39:00.000-07:00

Want to take a peek inside my studio?

To be honest, this is just a corner of my studio and I've left loads of clutter/mess out of the photos but this is the pretty part and what the rest of the studio will look like soon!

I share an art table with my husband who does some small-scale modeling, so lately some of our favorite evenings are sitting across from one another, working on art stuff or sometimes one of us reading to the other while the other works. You can see just a bit of James' stuff in this photo...

Here's a little shelf full of some of my favorite things. If you've followed my other blog at all, you may even remember some of these pretties!

Here's a shot of the burlap curtains I made for the studio window last week. I love them but they need some ruffling on the edges before I show the full view!

Here's some paper "lanterns" I decorated/embellished using cheap pink lanterns from the party store. This is an idea I got from Heather Kowalski when she did this for one of her tutorials in our Sweet Six Studio. You can see some of her lanterns HERE.

I did no sewing with these! It's just ivory muslin and a hot glue gun, plus pieces of yummy ribbons and vintage trims I have in my studio. James hung it up in the corner for me and I love it.

Here's one of the circular Japanese lanterns I didn't add to at all, except for some simple ribbon/trim and a vintage millinery rose I've been saving for just the right thing. THIS was it! :)

Pssst....one more thing....can you keep a secret....

Here's a peek at some things I've been making in my studio (or my dining room table, depending on what time of day!) that is going to arrive in the shoppe tomorrow....if you want to find them, go HERE.

Lots more where that came from, including the "Gossip Gloves" I'm wearing above, several more one-of-a-kind bags and (gasp) even a sexy apron! :)

A Messy...But Beautiful...Night

2010-09-07T23:34:00.000-07:00

She turned 9 a few weeks ago when I wasn't looking. I can't believe I have been her mama for more than 9 years now! Amazing!

Emily is a wonderful person. A delight. Smart as a whip. A natural beauty. And stubborn as the day is long.

Tonight I realized this incredible girl just might be more stubborn than her mama. If you know me personally, you know that's saying something!

Tonight Emily and I had the first of what I know will be dozens, if not more, of battles of our wills. O.k. maybe it's not the first. In a way, the first one was when she was not even three. But something was different about tonight. It wasn't Mama and Kid the whole time. There were moments when it was two women.

This was a significant battle. It was over her bed sheets. Now, bed sheets are something I feel pretty strongly about, don't get me wrong, but this wasn't REALLY about the bed sheets, if you know what I mean. Impeccable bed-making skills is something that I take pride in and hope to pass down (my grandfathers on both sides were in the service and brought home their taste for "army corners"...the sort of bed that is made so tightly you could drop a coin on it and it would bounce and is just heaven to climb into). But tonight wasn't about a perfectionist mama wanting to pass the torch.

Tonight was about being a woman. I know that sounds dramatic. But let me explain.

There was calm explanations, advice, a helping hand, but let's just say our Miss Em did NOT want to learn to make her bed. Granted, it's a top bunk and I KNOW from personal experience that's hard. Even painful. The wood slats, etc. I don't care for it myself. But regardless, there was some....how shall we say...

Helplessness.

That's what this was all about. It started with whining, escalated to hysteria, sobs, digging in of heels and finally, getting it. But not wanting to acknowledge that she got it. Yup. You know what I mean. It's THAT combination most of us women are quite familiar with:

Stubbornness
Loss of Control of Emotions
Helplessness

This was an important discussion. This was an opportunity to begin learning a lesson I will see that she learns. Even if she doesn't like it. Even if she comes along, kicking and screaming. Even if she never acknowledges she learns it. As long as I know she learned it, I will be satisfied. I don't mean that she will learn to do this perfectly. In fact I know she won't. But I want to know that she knows when she chooses helplessness over capability that that IS the choice she is making.

So here's what I said:

"Emily, this isn't really about learning to make your bed, sweetie. This is about being a woman. It's important that you learn this: We are women. We are strong. We are smart. We can do whatever we want to do. That doesn't mean we don't need help. It doesn't mean we don't ask for help. It doesn't mean we know everything and we don't need to learn things. No! It means that we accept help and when we "get it," we acknowledge we get it. When we can do it, we say, 'Thank you for your help. I can do it myself now.'

"Emily, do I let Daddy take care of me? Do things for me?" I asked.

"Yes," she said.

"You're right," I said. "I want to let Daddy help him and he wants to let me help him. But do I NEED Daddy to do things because I'm not strong or smart enough? Could I live on my own? Could I take care of myself? Would I die without him?"

She shook her head. "No."

"That's right," I said. I can and do and will keep asking for and letting Daddy help me. I will help him. But I KNOW inside that I am strong enough and smart enough to take care of myself and THAT is what I want you to learn."

"Emily, there are women who don't know they are strong enough to take care of things. They don't know they are smart enough or wise enough. They don't know because they've never tried. And many of those women were once little girls who cried when they didn't understand something right away, or whined that they couldn't do something because it was too hard, too new, too uncomfortable. And someone said, 'Oh, honey, don't worry about it. I'll do that for you.' They knew inside, just like you do, that they could do it. But the older they got, the more they began to believe their own words. 'I can't do it,' they told people, acting more helpless than they were, until one day, after years of this, they really began to BELIEVE they can't. You are not going to be like that, Emily."

You see now why this was such a watershed conversation. Also why this is the first of a conversation we'll have many times. Why?

Emily is stubborn. When she knows what she wants or doesn't want, everyone knows it and getting her to back down, change her mind to suit someone else or (heaven forbid) admit she is wrong is...almost impossible.

And that stubbornness is wonderful. I love it. I am so glad she is that stubborn.

A lot of Christian parenting books I've read urge me to "break" her. She should should bend before her parents out of respect. But here's the deal. I don't want to bend her. And I certainly don't want to break her. I want her to be respectful of authority. I want her to know when to shut her mouth. I want her to learn to apologize when she needs to. But I want her to keep that stubborn spirit. That knowing that guides her now and will continue to, I hope.

I want Emily to learn to humble herself when she realizes she is wrong. But when she is right, I want that little woman to fight til the death.

She learned how to make the bed. She didn't want to admit it. She didn't want to admit that she had not tried her hardest or that she acted helpless beyond the point when she understood what to do. That's o.k. I told her I might have done the same under the circumstances...she is my daughter, after all! But I admitted that I had gotten too angry, too upset. I apologized. And she apologized, without prompting, for "whining." That was more than good enough for me.

Tonight was important.
Tonight was painful.
Tonight was loud and emotional.

But...
Tonight Emily learned something.
Tonight Emily learned she can be strong...that her own strength is something she has my permission to claim.
Tonight a mama reinforced what she already knew about herself.
Tonight a mama and her daughter connected in a real way.

Tonight was messy. But beautiful. The best kind.

A New Fall/Winter Pattern

2010-09-07T16:48:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to pop on and let you know we have an adorable pattern, perfect for your little one's Fall/Winter wardrobe! It's a darling quilted jacket/vest pattern by Pink Fig, some of my favorite patterns around. This one is for girls' size 12 months to 10 years and is a great way to use some of your favorite fabrics...even your remnants. It's a wonderful alternative to expensive, store-bought outerwear and so much more special. It would make a perfect Christmas gift! Find it here.

I made some little jackets when my girls were about one and four using some beautiful vintage pink and white chenille, a reproduction rosebud calico and covered buttons I embroidered mysef. Oh how I love those! They are in the box of "heirloom" clothes the girls wore that I want to save for grandbabies. :)I'll have to find them and take a photo for you! I made them in Spring to go over their Easter dresses, but I want to make some this year using this pattern for Fall/Winter. I'm imagining fabric like this one:this one:
and this one:The pattern shows the jackets paired with embellished jeans. This sweet jeans pattern would be adorable and you could embellish in coordinating fabrics! Find it here.
I think for my girls I'll embroider some little kitties like these little guys I've embroidered onto countless baby onesies and then use that as part of the jacket construction. You can find the baby layette sets I make here.
I'm all excited now! Looking forward to making some pretty jackets for my girls. If you make one using this pattern, will you send me a photo? I'd love to post photos!!

A Friend

2010-09-01T15:43:00.000-07:00

"Friendship is the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh thoughts or measure words, but pouring all right out just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful friendly hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping and, with a breath of comfort, blow the rest away." -Dinah Maria Mulock Craik

So this is a wierd post

2010-08-29T21:06:00.000-07:00

Not sure how to go about it, but I have a couple things to share for those of you that stop by and "know" me a bit. You might have put two and two together but in case you haven't, I'm gonna give this a shot. Feels a little odd, but seems important, too. Have I scared you yet??? :)

O.k. so I noticed an old post from last Fall and it was one when I mentioned that I was going through a divorce and making a home for my kids and I. So here's the deal. I was going through a divorce, but now I'm not. My husband and I are happily back together. Of course there's a long story I am not going to go into, but there's the facts of it.

So why am I blogging about it? I am pretty private these days. This is sort of strange for me and I don't feel entirely comfortable with it. But I feel MORE uncomfortable about not writing this. Well there's a couple reasons.

One, I feel strange that there is a blog saying I'm going through a divorce...when I am not anymore. I thought about deleting that post, rather than writing this one. But that didn't feel right. The only other solution seemed to be what I'm doing right now!

Two, I'm an honest, what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of gal. I'm NOT at ALL interested in projecting an image of myself or my life that is "all pink and blue," as the saying goes. I'm a real woman with a real life. The times I've blogged from that real-woman-heart are the posts that my readers seemed to connect with most. It's fun to show pics of pretty stuff. It's a way to show what I'm making/selling. But there's also THIS...the intersections of our lives...the passing one another and rubbing shoulders....the connections we form, even virtually.

Three, and sort of related to Two but worth its own paragraph...I just want you to know that my life isn't just cupcakey and pretty and sweet. It's ugly, hard, messy, dirty and full of mistakes. Just like yours. We aren't that different, you and I...not really. This last year was the hardest, most emotionally volatile, most painful year of my life, and it seems right that I put this out there with the cupcakes and the frou-frou. It's part of ME.

So there we go...I'm at home, I'm actually home with 3-year-old Andrew and I am happy. Playing baseball, even though I'm terrible at pitching to him...he says, "You can do it, Mama!" :) Working. Writing. Trying to get back into running again. Taking care of my beautiful family. I am where I am supposed to be. Where I want to be. And that's really, really good. I'd rather not answer questions about details. This is all I want to say about it. However, if you are someone who has gone through something similar, are in the middle of painful marital issues or are just in PAIN, and want to chat, heart-to-heart and down-to-earth with someone who really GETS it, please email me. It's cherylensomdack@gmail.com. I'd love to talk with you.

In keeping with the self-revealing nature of this post, I have a confession to make: I have another blog. Yes. I know. You feel like I've been keeping this from you. :) Well, I have! I don't link to the other blog here. If someone wanted to, they could find it through my name, but other than that, only a few people know about it. It's a more "me" blog...less about business and more about personal stuff. In addition to sewing/running my fabric store, I write. A lot. I'm the guest-editor of a website. I talk about pretty honest, gut level stuff going on in my head and heart. When I do talk about business/art stuff it's the "other" side of me that isn't pink and cupcakey at all. It's more ivory-vintage stuff. Some of that I've shown you here, as well.

So anyway, I'm inviting you (if you wish) to visit my other blog: www.livinginabeautifulmess.blogspot.com

And lastly, as long as I'm being honest, I ALSO didn't tell you (I know, I know) that I got a tattoo a little over a year ago. Now I'm being kind of silly. I didn't even realize until today that I had blogged about my tattoo on the other blog but not on this one and wanted to share it with my fellow all-things-vintage-lovers. Don't worry there's no skulls or dripping blood or anything. It's actually based on a vintage embroidery pattern and I LOVE it. I've never had a tattoo. Never thought I'd want one. Never even CONSIDERED it. But the idea for this one got in my head and wouldn't leave and I've not regretted it one single bit. It's so ME. Here's a post about it: http://livinginabeautifulmess.blogspot.com/2009/08/my-vintage-tattoo.html
So that's it. :)

Friends Forever....a fabric book

2010-08-28T15:32:00.000-07:00

"She unwrapped the brown paper parcel, beautifully tied with pink velvet ribbon and smiled at her friend. "I'm so excited!" she said as she set the paper and ribbon aside.

She pulled layers of peach pink tissue paper and tuling aside until the gift lay on her lap. She gasped and tears filled her eyes. "

*****************************************

This fabric book started as a simple canvas "book" altered by hand to be a special heirloom honoring the beauty of friendship. Details abound..."pockets" for tucking special photos, letters or keepsakes into, pretty vintage and new papers, antique lace, vintage millinery, a vintage ad, rhinestone earring, vintage sheet music, an old key and so much more. The perfect gift for a dear friend. You can write something on every page or you can leave it blank for her to write in.

You will also receive a "tea"-colored fabric pen for writing directly on the fabric, if you desire.

The book is approximately 6x7" and has 10 pages. If you are interested in purchasing this book, please go HERE.

Little Birdies & Yo-Yos

2010-08-18T14:12:00.000-07:00

Made these sweet little tussie mussie cones for a customer and decided to offer some to you, as well. Go HERE to buy one for yourself! I love having these near my sewing machine...the perfect place to stick my always-disappearing scissors or even a little snack. These cones also make lovely gifts...fun to put candy or other treats for the recipient in them!

I'm also excited to show you some new yummy treats I've been making. These are so much fun. I've been making them for years and using them for all kinds of fun projects. They look darling sewn to the neck of a little girl's top or dress. Fun to work into the top of a gift package. A few of them sewn (or even glued) to the top edge of a basic tote bag makes an eye-catching tote carry-all. The sky's the limit! These are 3 layers of yo-yos and they are about 2.5 inches in diameter. You can find these in my shoppe, as well!

new yummy stuff!

2010-08-05T16:26:00.000-07:00

Yummy Vintage Fabric bundle....

Sweet bundle of vintage chenille and rosey sheeting!

Pretty Belle Fille art kit.... "Candy!"

Dessert Box....

Fabricaholic Bag #1
Fabricaholic Bag #2

One Stitch at a Time

2010-07-29T09:20:00.001-07:00

And work at your pattern;
It will come out a rose by and by.
Life is like that –
One stitch at a time taken patiently
And the pattern will come out all right
Like the embroidery.
~Oliver Wendell Holmes

An experiment

2010-07-15T17:17:00.000-07:00

I know, I know...3 posts in one day...it's like feast or famine around here.

O.k. so my sister, Jeanette, is getting married on Saturday! We're super excited for her. She is a wonderful, creative, beautiful, kind and very GOOD person. I love her.

So anyway, the rehearsal dinner is tomorrow night in L.A. where she and her fiance, James, live with James' darling daughter, Hannah. I found this beautiful, vintage-inspired dress at Forever 21, which incidentally is just plain PACKED with beautiful, feminine, vintagey clothing right now. I literally have like 8 pretty tees that involve chiffon flowers. But anyway. I digress.

So I tried this dress on for my husband but we agreed it's slightly weird for me to wear a white, lacey dress to the wedding rehearsal. Sort of like...tacky. I don't know. You get it, I'm sure.

Soooooo....I whipped out my fiber reactive fabric dyes that I haven't used in about a year and did a quick presto-chango altered dress job. It's in the washer right now, as I type, and it remains to be seen what happens....

I used the seafoam dye. Kinda blueish greenish.

Here's the super-easy directions for color-fast, just-like-in-the-factory dyeing method that you do right in your washer.

The tricky part here is the dress is 100% nylon except for the embroidery, or so says the tag. This dye is the best for cotton, so I know the cotton embroidered bits will turn seafoam. I do NOT know if the nylon will hold the dye. It might wash back out and be white, in spite of the "fixer" I use.

So...I'll report back with the results. I may not get to get a good photo until after I get back from the wedding. And that's if the handwash-only dress holds up o.k. in the warm water necessary for dyeing....yikes. We'll see!

"Bright Star"

2010-07-09T16:14:00.000-07:00

Today I have the house to myself. I exercised, showered and then headed to my newly-cleaned and organized studio, coffee in hand.

I picked up some handwork and then scanned Netflix for something that looked good to watch while stitching and my eyes fell on "Bright Star."

From moment one I was mesmerized. The opening credits roll past while a needle moves in and out of rough linen, pulling thread behind it.

But that was just the beginning. The movie is about poet, John Keats, and the love of his life, Fanny, who would be the muse behind his masterful romantic poetry.

It's about how they met, tried not to fall in love but did anyway. Fanny is an artist in her own right, creating breathtakingly beautiful gowns with only her needle, thread and her deft fingers. John is an artist, too, of course, a poet who teaches Fanny to love not just his words but life, as well.

This movie was a sensory treat, seemingly engaging every sense, a work of art in itself. Wind blowing linen curtains while late afternoon sunshine pours in,

luxe caramel-colored fabric fashioned into sumptous ruffles,

melon-hued taffetta skirts,

fields of vivid flowers,

stunning orchards of blossoming trees, white cotton frocks and stiff bonnets, a room full of butterflies....just a few of the exquisitely-lovely experiences the viewer is treated to.

Here's the trailer:

And one of my favorite scenes:

What a treat this movie was. I don't know if a movie has ever inspired me to sew until now, but this one has. Simply beautiful.

In the Studio

2010-07-09T14:24:00.000-07:00

Just a few things around my studio that I find indispensible as I create....

My trusty friend, Singer :)...Some soft, fuzzy slippers on my feet...

A cup of coffee (of course

a cute apron...some yummy fabric...some pretty trims...yummy embroidery floss on miniature spools... a cute pink pincushion...some vintage sewing supplies in a sweet little tussie mussie...

Buying Guide:
Slippers

Pink Ticking Fabric

Pretty Aqua Teacup Trimming

Pink Pincushion

Tussie Mussie Kit

"Sugar Shelf" with Miniature Spools

Been Bakin' Again!

2010-06-14T20:25:00.000-07:00

Hello, Friends!

It's been far too long since I've posted here! I am popping on tonight to show you some new cupcakes I'm making for a custom order. Wondering if you'd like to order a cupcake...or a dozen? :) I'm happy to custom-create as many cupcakes as you like. They are $12 each.

Each one of these yummy confections has been handmade from our own pattern and is sure to delight! In the yummiest fabrics we could find, our cupcakes feature handmade mini yo-yo's and a unique ingredient from our favorite bits and bobs: hand-embroidered buttons, vintage millinery flowers, bling, buttons and more.

Let me bake YOU a batch! Or even just one special cupcake for yourself or a friend. Click HERE to order.

Love,
Cheryl

Art & Motherhood

2010-04-03T17:36:00.000-07:00

Where do “Art” and “Motherhood” intersect, or do they? Are they mutually exclusive? Does one enhance the other? Can they exist in one person’s life harmoniously?

For many of us artist-mothers, the place they intersect is guilt. Neither role – artist or mother – is ever enough in itself so we are perpetually feeling badly or negatively about what we are doing and how we are doing it at any given moment. Especially with babies and toddlers around, any time spent focused on art can feel to the mother, selfish. In a society whose history is miserably misogynistic, where women taking part in an enjoyable activity for the sake of enjoyment is downright sinful, even the most ardent feminists find the “line” between the needs of self and the needs of their children not a line at all. And depending on which side of this blurry division we settle on in any given moment, we will feel negatively about ourselves in some way.

I am an artist so I can’t speak to the feelings of women who don’t “make things for fun” but I’m told the tension between the needs of self and the needs of one’s children is similar. Whether the self’s need is to paint, read a book, embroider or take a walk, the activity means the same thing: me carving out a space for myself in my life that has nothing to do with my children. What that space looks like differs from one woman to the next. And of course there are those who genuinely enjoy their career in this way and are “fed” by it in a similar way.

My experience is complicated, as every woman’s is. I can describe it best as a series of tensions:

- Encouraging independent play and education vs. Hands-on mothering and teaching

- Doing the art that makes me happy vs. being selfless and thinking about my children’s needs

- A desire for my girls, especially, to see me as an individual, rather than a role vs. a desire for my children to feel my presence is a “given” and something they can rely upon

- A desire to nurture myself vs. a desire to nurture my children

- Modeling a creative, spontaneous and artistic way of living vs. the supposed security of having me at their beck and call

- Connecting with other artist-mothers via the internet vs. ignoring the computer until they are in bed

I could go on. You have your own list like this: your needs on one side and your children’s on the other with a line between them that is so faint you can’t even find it. This guilt-inducing, stressful tension exists between so many of our priorities in a way we didn’t feel as childless women. It can feel as if we never do anything well. And when we do something well, it is at the cost of forfeiting something on the other side of our “line,” so we don’t even get to enjoy our successes.

My art and my business are mixed up with one another in a complicated way, as well, which further muddies the water. I very often feel guilty about the work I do when my children are awake but when I think about not doing this work, I feel as though my heart is being ripped out. On the other hand, I don’t like the feeling of half-heartedly, distractedly caring for my children. What to do?

Though I struggle with this “tension” daily, there is something that has helped me handle my feelings in a way that is kinder to me. I think we artist-mothers walk a tightrope of needs. The air on one side of the tightrope is our children’s needs; the air on the other is our own needs. We know that diving into just one will be disastrous for many reasons, so we are constantly trying to keep our balance on the tightrope, often shaking with the exertion. But just as a real tightrope-walker would do, we sway to one side now, to the other side later, constantly correcting our balance.

It has helped me to realize that the fact that I am willing to walk that tightrope at all means I am a good mother and that I am caring for myself and for my children. I could just hop right off the tightrope to one side or the other. And there would be a way that would be “easier.” I wouldn’t have to decide what to do today, how to handle this situation tomorrow or wrestle with my priorities the following day. I’d have a default mode and in many ways a script of how to go through each day.

Neither of those are acceptable to me. I can’t be content jumping one way or the other. The only hope of contentment, self-respect and success clearly lies in a balance of these two. It means my leg muscles get toned, my abdominals become stronger and I mutter expletives under my breath when I nearly fall off the tightrope altogether. But that exercise of righting myself, leaning one way and then the other, constantly, is, at the end of the day, where I want to live.

This feeling was confirmed by the amazing Mary Englebreit who spoke at a conference called “Silver Bella” that I attended a little over a year ago. A friend of mine asked Mary how she balances her work and her family. She paused, smiled meaningfully and said simply, “I don’t.” She described that tightrope well: some days you go and do work; other days you do your husband (her words!). She has grown children but intimated that the period of time with little ones at home was challenging. She is woman who must draw. Must. It is as necessary as water.

If, as an artistic mother, doing art is something that feeds my soul, helps me process the world, touches others and in general, adds to my emotional health and well-being, why is it so difficult to give myself what I need? I understand perfectly that when I am taking care of a newborn, it will do no good to invest all my resources, time and money in feeding my child, while I go hungry. Eventually I will starve, leaving the helpless child without an avenue through which to be nourished. My emotional health is just as important as my physical health. And yet…I feel myself guiltily. I give myself the nourishment I need with the sick feeling that I am taking food from my own children’s mouths.

What is a mother to do? I think recognizing, acknowledging and accepting our needs is the first step. Deep inside our knowing place we have heard, perhaps in a whisper, the truth: we must do art. As long as we silence our “knowing place” or “seat of wisdom,” or “gut,” or whatever word you choose to use, plugging our ears to the soft, gentle wisdom, we will be at odds with ourselves and with our life. Time spent nurturing our children will feel more like work and we will experience it primarily as inconvenience, as our children “taking” something from us, and as something slowly killing something inside of us. Our deep wisdom knows this is no way for children to be parented!

To start with we must each sit with ourselves, just as we would one of our children. Imagine, if it helps, holding yourself on your own lap, wanting to know what this dear one needs. Ask her. Listen to her. Don’t judge or qualify. Don’t interrupt her with “shoulds” and “shouldnt’s.” Give her time to speak, uninterrupted.

After you ask her what she needs, ask her what she would do if she were given permission to do so. What would she create, make, sew, paint, alter or otherwise apply herself to? What makes her heart beat faster to think about? What materials would she like to have at her fingertips? Perhaps she will tell you she needs a “place” that is all hers, in which to do her art, even if it’s a corner.

Just listen…don’t tell her what is practical, what she has time for, that the materials are too costly, or that others won’t understand. Allow her to dream aloud.

Stop there. Just sit with that artistic “you.” Again, think about her as your beloved child. If your child were to sit on your knee and tell you a fantastic dream of a beautiful playhouse, painted pink, full of child-size furniture in which she could host tea parties, you wouldn’t tell her that was stupid. If your child were to come to you with a sketch of her ideal bedroom – a bunk bed shaped like a castle, a slide coming out of it, a toy unicorn on which to ride and a specific shade of pink for the bedding, which of course would feature princesses – you would smile delightedly in the knowledge that your child has a sharp and creative mind. There would be no talk of practicality or feasibility. You would validate her imagination and love her all the more for the fabulous ideas she has.

If that dear child came to you with such beautiful, imaginative dreams, what would your response be, after the child left the room to play? You would ponder her dreams and ideas…is there a way to make this happen? You might google castle bunkbeds or pink playhouses. You would perhaps tweak the budget a bit so that even a part of your child’s dream could come true.

After all, you remember being a child like her, a dream fairly bursting out of your mind and heart. You love her. Of course you will do all you can to not just meet her needs, but to fulfill her dreams.

Give yourself this same gift. Make your own dreams and creative ideas a priority. Give yourself permission to be who you know you are inside. Your inner “knowing” will tell you that that woman, fully alive, is the best mom your children could hope for.

The other day my daughters were talking to one another about what they are going “to be when they grow up.” One said a zoo-keeper or a vet. The other said a vet or a doctor. But then she added, “Or an artist like Mama.” My eyes welled up. These beautiful little girls are watching me come alive as I create. They witness the way a pile of “stuff” becomes a piece of art that is beautiful and significant. They understand that art touches others in deep ways. They experience the real me…and they enjoy this me enough that they want to be like me. Amazing.

Happy Birthday, Mama & Rachel

2010-03-03T22:11:00.000-08:00

A few piccys of Raychie and I celebrating our birthdays!

New Patterns in the Shoppe!

2010-02-18T09:37:00.000-08:00

Just got these adorable patterns by Pink Fig! I'm in love!

Go HERE to purchase these yummy confections....

Favorite New Book: Mother Goose Remembers

2010-01-27T17:03:00.000-08:00

Found this PRECIOUS book at the public library. It's a Mother Goose "anthology" called Mother Goose Remembers by Clare Beaton, but all the pictures are done in handwork! Applique, hand-embroidery and amazing 3-D elements.

Here's just a few photos of some of my favorite parts of the book....

I'm buying a copy for my kids and I, as well as this book, Mrs. Moon: Lullabies for Bedtime also by Clare Beaton, and illustrated with beautiful handwork! Can't wait to get it...

Sew Sweet

2010-01-19T10:37:00.001-08:00

Some sweet new vintage-inspired sewing items for sale in my Stitching a Dream etsy shoppe. You can find them HERE.

Back in the Saddle Again...

2009-12-10T19:38:00.000-08:00

Hello, Friends!

It's been far too long since I've blogged and I have missed it. My life has been changing a lot...in good ways.

But I'm coming back to the blogging world, looking forward to catching up with you and all my other blog buddies. I am jumping in with both feet, not just selling fabric, but re-launching my vintage-inspired children's clothing line, "Sew Sweet."

I first started embroidering on children's clothes when my eldest daughter was a baby and she is already eight! I can't believe it's been that long! I had so much fun dressing her in beautiful boutique clothing, but my budget couldn't acomodate more than the occasional boutique purchase. So, as they say, necessity became the mother of invention and I began making my own little pieces for my daughter to wear.

After a number of people asking where I got whatever it was my daughter was wearing, therefore finding out it wasn't just me that thought the pieces I made were pretty :), I decided to go out on a limb and try selling some of what I was making. I started on eBay and then gradually moved to etsy. It was after I started selling on etsy that I found blogs and decided to try making one of my own. I was shocked when people started visiting me and leaving comments!

Over the last couple years, I have made and sold hundreds of items, but perhaps more importantly, I have many dear friends, some of which I know will be life-long friends. I have been going through a divorce, making a home for my children and I and pretty much SURVIVING.

But it's time to emerge from my "cave" and get connected again. I've missed it. I think I need it.

So I'm starting by writing this post and re-opening my Sew Sweet etsy shoppe in time for Spring shopping. The pictures below are of some of the clothes I'll be custom-creating for Spring. I'm still running my website, Confections Fabric, as well as my etsy shoppe by the same name. So if you see something you like, let me know! I'm excited to fire up my sewing machine and get out my needle and embroidery thread.

But most of all, I'm excited to get re-acquainted with YOU.

HUGS,
Cheryl