Confessions of a Wise Latina/Confesiones de una Latina Sabia

Who?.................Quien?

2011-07-13T21:37:00.000-07:00

...........While going through job interviews last year I stared thinking about aaaaall the interviews I have had over the years........About how your "on" the moment you get out of your car.....Do you have any idea of what I am talking about?.........Okay hear me out......

I t is very important for you to remember that once you enter the building or wherever your interview is to take place (no judgments here maybe your interview is not at place where they have actual walls? Perhaps your going for a role in "Hair" the musical); you are always to be "on"................NO not turned on.........Well I guess that depends on what job you are applying for........but I digress............

........In any event once you set your feet out of your car (bus, taxi, Vespa) you may be at any given moment, presented with the opportunity of running into someone, who may directly or indirectly have the power to get you hired......... or the "other"........ You know what I mean??..........Confessions:

I went to an interview once and asked the lady at the front office for help (I forgotten the lady's name who was to interview me), yes people I am a professional at work or rather looking for work.....So I say to the lady at the front office who was looking directly at my face as though the very secrets of the universe were hidden there:

Me: "Excuse me, I have an interview at 2;00 p.m. and I am to meet with, uhm, err, Mrs. Stroodlehound"?...........I said searching for an answer in her face.

Her: Excuse me what was the name?

Me: clearing my throat and flicking my hair: "Stroodlehound", I said firmly.

Now let's take a look at this closely shall we?.......First of all, if a name sounds made up to you, then it probably is...........Yup..........I am sure I read that somewhere.........Now then if one is not sure of a name the obvious thing to do here would be to ask or say: "Say, I am not sure of the name of this persons name, can you help me"?..........Aaaaah if only.........

Well let's get back to my little story........

By this time the woman at the counter is looking slightly annoyed and as she raises one of her brows she says: "That's........ Stappelton and it is I"...........What are the odds?.........Yup you guessed it; I did not get the job. Oh well their loss (things a looser says when they have inserted an entire leg into their mouth)............

The other thing besides being "on" is the fact that once you leave your house your in a state of continual panic.....Will I get there on time? Oh please Lord let me appear to be somewhat coherent.....Is this the right deodorant? Can't wait to get home and watch television........you get the idea.

Then once I am actually at my interview, the stupid job interview questions start like: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years"?........."Well let's see.... if I don't get this job I see myself job less"....Is that a good answer?....Or......"I see myself 5 years older?" or perhaps better still: "I see myself back on the bus"......... "What made you apply for a job with our company?"......."Uhm"? You have a job opening"?......And my personal favorite: "Why should we hire you?"......."Uhm? cuz I need a job you pin head"......Too much?.........

I guess we have all had these kinds of experiences (please say yes), and can think of many words and tales that would delight all of us.........However, I think I have come up with the best one so far from my endless list........Ready?.....Wake up!.........Here it is people:

"WRITE DOWN THE NAMES AND CORRESPONDING JOB DESCRIPTIONS OF EACH INTERVIEW AND JOB YOU GO FOR".....For if ya don't, this too may happen to you:

CALLER: Hi! This is Anne how are you?
ME: Anne hello! I am well. How are you?
ANNE: Just great! Say I was calling to see if you had any further questions for us after our interview with you?
ME: uhm?..........No....not really?.......
ANNE: Great! When can you start?.........
ME: ah?....Well?.............I dunno?........
ANNE: How about next week. We will have H.R. give you a call about paper work. Sound okay?.....
ME: Sure! Great! That sounds great! Okay,bye.
HUSBAND: Who was that?
ME:Anne
HUSBAND: Who is Anne?
ME: I have not the latest idea (my Latina mama says "latest" for "faintest" so I use it too)
HUSBAND: Okay then questioned answered?!
ME: But I got the job! (:

Yes folks, this is the kind of stuff that has happened to me as a "Wise Latina"......I must confess...........

May You Live in Interesting Times/ Espero Que los Tiempos en que Vivas te Sean de Interes

2011-07-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

"May you live in interesting times"....

This quote is used mostly in the west though it is accredited to the east; and it is often mistaken as "good thing". In actuality (as explained by a Chinese diplomat) these words were meant as a curse to your enemy. These words gave the clear implication that by living in interesting times you experienced much upheaval and trouble in your life. Therefor living in "uninteresting times" meant that you were experiencing a time of peace and tranquility which was more life-enhancing.

If you take it to mean the first then yes; our present generation (particularly for those of us in the Midwest ) has certainly witnessed that curse's fulfillment.

I prefer to think of these words in this way: When we experience times of upheaval it is when our true character is made. Only when we go through challenges do we get to see who we really are. Only when we go through adversity can positive change occur.

Yes having peace and tranquility are good things for the soul; however we should never allow it make us too complacent. When an injustice is done to one, it is done to all........

And that is how I see it

Peace!

Bilingualism is this still a question?/El ser bilingüe continua siendo una pregunta?

2010-11-21T20:52:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning and was pleasantly surprised to see a "positive" article about being a bilingual being. I am used to the "not so great" tales about how bilingualism will ruin this country. I am also used to the "English as a national language" some feel the need; to use as their daily mantra. Never mind that at least in half of countries on this planet folks speak more than one language......What?....... More than one language? What is this world coming to? Oh my stars in heaven........We may one day be................Oh dare I say it?..............Feel more connected to other human beings, culturally rich and thus more knowledgeable?..........Hush........That's just crazy talk............
In this article this particular journalist discusses how bilingual students need better options. The reporter goes on to speak about a particular student (which may very well represent thousands); who speak English/ Spanish fluently but cannot read/write in the latter. As a result he/she struggles in classrooms and to many who can't see beyond this; he/she will not have a very bright future?...............And here is where I come in................

Confession: Only in North America would a person who speaks two languages be considered as someone who has no future! This young person has the potential of being anything he/she wants to be. Moreover we need classes that offer, already fluent Spanish speakers the "formal/academic" side of the language. Hmmm?.......Now where is it that students receive a lot of the "academic" side of Spanish and very little in the way of acquiring language?.........Hmmmmmmm?..........If I could only put my finger on it..............Hmmmmmmmmm?..........Oh yes! Spanish classes!...................

When our monolingual students enter "foreign language classes" which is usually around the 6th grade; they receive plenty of the formal part of language and not too much else. By this I mean that by the end of the years they have spent in foreign language classes they will be able to tell you: the many tenses, accents and lots and lots of grammar.

In a foreign language classroom the curriculum (here we will use the Spanish language as an example) goes something like this: how to conjugate an "IR", "ER, "AR" verb, what is the difference between past/present progressive? What isolated words mean, what is "Cinco de Mayo?" Then perhaps where Mexico is, maybe a list of other Latin American countries (very little if any of the contributions Latin Americans have made to our society), days of the week, names of the months, colors, numbers, contractions, the Spanish alphabet and of course the ever popular "International Food Day".....

When our monolingual students finish these "foreign language" courses they may even be able to teach a grammar class; after all they have spent a monumental amount of time in this area alone.........P.S.They will only be able to teach Spanish language grammar to those who speak English..........Let's not get crazy and think and they will be able to teach native speakers of Spanish language.........I mean did you think they were taking "language acquisition classes?" or Spanish as a foreign language 101? I love those words "foreign language".......It's like I am from Mars for being able to speak a "different" tongue........But I digress.........

Now I realize that some of you were not raised bilingual or bi-cultural; and for this I am truly sorry. So let me help you see this narrative via the lenses of a "monolingual" individual.

Your English speaking son/daughter comes home and tells you she/he had English today; that is to say grammar and so on.......He/she proceeds to tell you what she/he has "learned" about language/grammar; and it goes something like this: I learned the names of colors, verbs, tenses, Independence Day, numbers, you get the idea.....

Then you ask him/her to talk/elaborate to you, in the "newly acquired" academic side of the English language; about things he/she has learned. What you end up finding out is that your son/daughter; cannot string two coherent sentences together...........

Side bar: Now before we go any further we must stretch out imaginations and open our minds just a bit. This is really not a fair comparison at all; as the students we are talking about in this example; are well acquainted with the "target" language. In this case the "target" language is........you guessed it: English. Never the less we send our students to learn how to better "acquire" language; and thus prepare them for their future careers/lives.

Now it takes you a bit to absorb what your child is trying to tell you; and by this time you are pretty upset. "How is it?", you wonder, "That my child is supposed to be acquiring language; and the best that she/he can do is to recite the days of the week?".....So you would you: A) Hire a tutor? B) Talk to the teacher? C) Talk to the Principal or D) Do nothing?...

I am willing to bet that if you are anything like me you would raise the biggest stink imaginable; and hold everyone in the school accountable.........Well my friends this is indeed what is happening in "language" classes today. It happens to monolingual students when they enter a "foreign language class". It happens to "bilingual" students when they enter our schools; not to simply acquire language but to receive a well rounded education.

The biggest difference however, in the case of bilingual students, is that their parents are not of this country and they feel; they do not have any rights to speak up about basically anything. The difference is that most of the people that are not of this country; have neither the tools nor education to advocate for their children. The similarity is that this feeling of helplessness is felt by those families from this country as well............

My friends, regardless of your educational background/cultural status many of us don't know how to access; the tools that are needed to become the best advocates for our children. Trust me I have done the math..........

So it seems that in the area of education we ALL have something to loose and much to gain..............

So how can we change this so that ALL students are receiving what they need in terms of language?..............Hmmm?...........Yes, I am sure I read this somewhere?..... That being able to speak the language that I am taking classes in; SHOULD be the "ideal" result?............hmmmmmmm?..........What to do, what to do?..........I know!........

How about having Spanish speaking students who already know how to SPEAK the language;assist those who don't. Oh wait....I am on a role...........And how about partnering our fluent Spanish speakers with fluent English speakers who are well versed in Spanish grammar? These students would not only teach/help one another but..........Oh dear I say it.......Become.............. Friends?.........And begin to narrow that awful racism gap that ONLY exist to keep people down?..........Hmmmm?.......Oh my stars!............

What if the relationship that these students build in the classroom actually spilled out of the classroom and into the real world?..........Like having lunch together and spending time together?.......Oh no!...........Could it be possible?............... Okay you get the idea.

Having said all this. I do know that there are many wonderful teachers, staff, specialist and members of our own communities (regular folks like you and me); who work countless hours. These people (these unsung heroes) work to ensure that all students (monolingual as well as bilingual) receive what is "equitable" for them. Let me say this again: They insure that ALL students receive what is EQUITABLE for them. However we need to do more and can't keep moving forward until we are ALL in it together.Until we make sure that we are all in it to WIN!

Children are born a blank slate and it is up to us to enrich their lives......... Yes I am sure I read that somewhere..............

Thughts/Pensamientos

2010-09-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

In the back of our minds we must realize that at some point we embraced diversity; wether we wish to acknowledge it or not. We did it when we chose a life partner. Our partner was that different and unique person; that inexplicably drew us in. Yet we knew, once we took time to look into their soul; that on the inside this being shared all our same hopes, dreams and fears.

Why is it then that when we add a "hue" to the mix, it all becomes about superficiality; about doubt and what sets us apart? We fail to notice souls, likeness and uniqueness. We fail to see every human being as an individual.

Color is not a race. Let me say this again: Color is not a race. If this your only argument for racism; then I am afraid it is not a very good one.

We humans have not yet evolved enough to ever create a different "race". We are all of the same race. We are all of the "human race".
I am sorry if you thought yourself to be superior; the simple truth is that you are not. We are all equal in every way................and that is how I see it.

Cantinflas meets "30 Rock" for a Lesson Gem

2010-08-09T23:55:00.001-07:00

Is it true that we can learn a foreign language via television?........Well believe it or not there have been many studies done in this area. I could bore you with research and statistics but I won't.......I will simply say this: One always needs an instructor (in human form) in order to learn anything; even more so when it comes to "communications" i.e. a foreign language.

I could spend weeks talking about this subject alone; but I won't.......That's right the boredom thing again....

So, can we learn a foreign language from television? We can if I am the one doing the watching and the telling.......So here goes this Lesson-Gem.........

One of my very favorite shows to watch is "30 Rock" and on this topic alone I can go on for days.....Right....Okay.........You get the idea...........
In any event as I was watching an episode of "30 Rock" the other night; (and thinking about all of you) it happened! "A teachable moment"............President Obama uses this phrase a lot when talking to us.......hmmm?......I wonder why?.......But I digress............

Do you remember when we talked about the "literal" meanings of words?........ Remember the "embarrassed" and "embarazada" thing?.....Helloooo anyone there?.....

Remember when I said, that just because words sound the same; did not mean they could just be translated literally i.e. "willy nilly?"........... By the way: "Who is Willy Nilly?"........... Well I am glad you asked, I actually researched it (yeah I am a total geek) and this is what I found: This phrase dates back like thousands of years! Oh yeah! And as it turns out our dear friend William Shakespeare (or Willy as I call him), looooooved using this phrase. It's true. One can see just how fond he was of this expression when one reads a section of: "The Taming of the Shrew" (so I am told)........but I digress.......

Where was I?............ Oh yeah............ So there was a scene on "30 Rock" where this lady is hiding from Tracy Jordan inside a closet. The actress is "supposed" to be depicting a "Latina" and is/was a regular on "Saturday Night Live". Of course I can't think of her name right now and she is very funny; she usually has a small part in most episodes of "30 Rock".........And if you don't know who Tracy Jordan is; then I am sorry I can't help you. Stop reading.............

In any event the actress speaking Spanish, I have to say, has a pretty good accent. Now I can only assume that someone NOT Latino "helped" this actress with her Spanish lines?........By the way this is almost always a bad idea; to learn a language from someone who is not a native speaker. One tends to need to learn a language from someone who has at least lived in the country (for some length of time); where they speak the language one is now trying to acquire.....Do you see where I am going with this?......Okay.........

Where was I? Oh. Yes. So this character is afraid of what another character may do to her. So she says: "No el me va a doler". Okay. What she is literally saying if one were to translate this directly into English is indeed: "No, he will hurt me"........Aha!......... There in lies the detail.....By the way (you know I always have to give you a Lesson-Gem informational side note).........

There was a character named "Cantinflas" (the actor's real name was Mario Moreno) he was from Mexico and he was (to say the least) a brilliant comedian, stage and film actor. Mr. Moreno was also a pioneer of the Mexican theater. Charlie Chaplin called him: "The greatest comedian in the world". If you mention his name to ANYONE who is Latino/a they will now exactly who you are talking about! No kidding.

Weather young or old, "Cantinflas" was able to transcend his characters to all; including Hollywood as he befriended Elizabeht Taylor and Mike Todd among others. To folks in the US "Cantinflas" is best remembered as costarring with David Niven in the movie: "Around the World in 80 Days" (1956). I used to watch "Cantinflas" movies as a little girl; I loved him and all his characters. Cantinflas had this famous line where he would say: "Allí esta el detalle"......... "There in lies the detail". See?........ I had to tell you that.

By the way if you are wondering about the meaning of Cantinflas's name here is the scoop courtesy of "Wikipedia":

As a young man, Cantinflas performed a variety of acts in traveling tents, and it was here that he earned the nickname "Cantinflas", although the origin of the name is obscured by legend. According to one obituary, "Cantinflas" is a meaningless name invented to prevent his parents from knowing he was in the entertainment business, which they considered a shameful occupation. In another version, the Mexican media critic and theorist Carlos Monsiváis cites a legendary account of the origin of Cantinflas's characteristic speech:

“

According to a legend that he agrees with, a young Mario Moreno, overwhelmed by stage fright, once, in the Ofelia carpa, forgets his original monologue. He begins to say what comes to mind in a complete emancipation of phrases and words, and what comes to mind is an incoherent brilliance. His assistants recite his attack on syntax, and Mario becomes aware of it: destiny has placed in his hands the distinctive characteristic, the style that is manipulation of chaos. Weeks later, the name that will mark the invention is invented. Someone, taken in by the nonsense, screams: "Cuanto inflas!" [C' ntinflas] (You're annoying!) or "En la cantina inflas!" (You like to drink a lot at the cantina (inflar means to swell)). The contraction catches on and becomes proof of the baptism that the character needs.^[11]

So go get one of his movies what are you waiting for?........... You will die laughing!.................. And isn't that a great way to go?!.................

So where was I?.......Oh yes...........Wake up!................One can't translate language "literally" as though you are simply replacing English words for Spanish ones........Or any other languages for that matter......What the actress said does not make sense in Spanish. Of course someone may be able to decipher what she is "trying" to say but who knows really?............Remember the "riding a bike with blindfolds on" thing I told you in another lesson-gem? Hello wake up.........

Then what should this actress have said instead?............ Glad you asked. She should have said: "El me va a hacer daño". Which does mean: "He will hurt me" and is grammatically correct!....."Daño" is meant to be used as "harm", "to cause it".....you get the idea.... When she (the comedian) used the word "doler" (though it meant hurt) it was used more as in pain that you have/feel in a physical or emotional sense.............

And here endeth the lesson for today amigos.........Be sure to leave me your leave me you comments and insights on line..........

Hasta pronto!

Call your congress man or woman /Llame a sus congresantes hombre o mujer

2010-07-14T12:56:00.000-07:00

Hola Amigos:
I am spreading the word per an email I received today from Adam Green of BoldProgresive.org
In his email Adam asks me and all of you out there to contact your congressman or women a tell them to support this new coalition to help BP workers. Please read below:

"A new coalition...has launched a site called BPMakesMeSick.com, petitioning President Obama to make BP give [Gulf clean-up] workers respirators."
Just today, Rep. Tom Perriello became the 13th member of Congress to endorse our coalition -- joining Robert F. Kennedy Jr, Gulf fisherman, dozens of congressional candidates, and over 67,000 Americans like you.

If you live in the state of Wisconsin your Congresswoman is Tammy Baldwin and she can be reached in Washington D.C. at this #(202) 225-2906

Le's make a difference amigos!
Asta pronto!

una sugerencia/a suggestion

2010-07-09T21:47:00.000-07:00

As I listened to the radio last night I was so shocked and sadden by the news that is was then the 80th day of the that horrific oil spoil in the Gulf of Mexico! I could not believe my ears. "What can I do", I thought helplessly as I listened. "I can learn more about it and I can write about it".......So here I am......

Courtesy of Wikipedia this is something of what I learned......

Wildlife and environmental groups have accused BP of holding back information about the extent and impact of the growing slick, and urged the White House to order a more direct federal government role in the spill response.

In prepared testimony for a congressional committee, National Wildlife Federation President Larry Schweiger said BP had failed to disclose results from its tests of chemical dispersant used on the spill, and that BP had tried to withhold video showing the true magnitude of the leak.^[107]

On 19 May BP established a live feed of the oil spill after hearings in Congress accused the company of withholding data from the ocean floor and blocking efforts by independent scientists to come up with estimates for the amount of crude flowing into the Gulf each day.^[108]^[109

Journalists attempting to document the impact of the oil spill have been repeatedly refused access to public areas. Photojournalists have been prevented from flying over areas of the gulf to document the scope of the disaster. These accusations have been leveled at BP, its contractors, local law enforcement, USCG and other government officials.^[112]^[113]

Scientists have also complained about prevention of access to information controlled by BP and government sources.^[112] BP states that its policy is to allow the media and other parties as much access as possible.^[112]

On 31 June, the Coast Guard put new restrictions in place across the Gulf Coast that prevent the public, including news photographers and reporters, from coming within 65 feet of any response teams on the beaches or vessels or booms on the water. In a press briefing, Coast Guard Adm. Thad Allen said the new regulation was related to safety issues.^[114] On televsion host Anderson Cooper rejected the motivation for the restrictions outright.

And so it goes.........Then I heard something even more shocking on the radio: BP is NOT allowing it's workers to ware protective mask; which means that these men and women are risking their VERY LIVES to save the planet and to put food on the table for their families. Why are they not allowed to ware masks? Well I guess the answer is as old as the world it self: MONEY.........How will it "look" if we saw these workers wearing masks? Why we might think there is a real disaster going on?..........Isn't there?............

Please log on to: bpmakesmesick.com and join me and many others by signing a petition that will all workers to have protective masks/gear..........

Asta pronto!

30 ROCK AND A LESSON IN LANGUAGE?.................

2010-07-08T21:14:00.000-07:00

As you all may or may not know (or care) one of my VERY favorite shows in the whole "mundo" (world) is "30 Rock"! I love love love it! Me encanta mucho! ( I really like it).........

So as I was watching "30 Rock" tonight (one of their episodes from season 1)......it hit me........This episode (a small part of it) is the perfect example for my "Lecciones Joyas" (Lesson-Gems) regarding; using words too "literally" when speaking a foreign tongue...........Mas después..........More later.......

Que esten bien!
Be well!

Lesson gem/Leccion Joya "Embarrassed"...."Embarazada"....?

2010-07-08T19:52:00.000-07:00

Hola Amigos:

Don't you just love it when someone tells you (usually a language instructor) how much you already know of the particular language you are trying so desperately to learn?.......So here is me:

"Really? I was not aware that I already knew Korean?.......or "I guess I always knew that I knew some sign language?"......."Like this one?".........ooooooooooh come now have a little fun............

Okay so back to this "very serious topic"...........Perhaps "recognizing the fact that you may already know some Spanish; is probably the most "crucial" component of this exercise. So without further ado here are some ejemplos/examples:

A) pronto (prohn-toh)= rigth away/soon
B) conclusión (kohn-clue-see-ohne)=yup you guessed it"conclusion"
C) invención (in-vehn-see-ohne)= yup "invention"

And so on............

However.......You knew there would be a "however" here somehwere........The trouble begins in the "World of Words" (no not the "War of the Worlds" from Steven Spielberg with Tom Cruise, they had nothing to do with this one)...........Here goes that story:

Courtesy of Wikipedia..........
False friends (or faux amis, French for "false friends") are pairs of words in two languages or dialects (or letters in two alphabets) that look or sound similar, but (big but here) differ in meaning. .

Here are my Ejemplos/Examples:

A) Actual= same spelling in English NOT same meaning in Spanish

In Spanish= "actual" means current, this day, this moment......You get the idea.......So when you say in English: "The actual name given to that State was......... in Spanish you are saying: "The name given today or up this date is".........

B) My personal "favorita"/favorite is: embarazada (to be with child)........Oh yeah this is a fun one! So here goes this story...........

As you may or may not know "embarrassed" in English means NOT pregnant but ashamed or encumbered.......

Now in Spanish the problem begins with the fact that "embarazada" is the adjective that comes from the same root as the English word but (a big but here) nowadays or "actualmente" (this vocabulary word evolved a bit over time) it is exclusively used to mean "with child", pregnant, "preggos", "bun in the oven" and so on...........

My mama refers to this stage in life of pregnancy as: "the walking incubator"..... isn't that romantic?.......Ahhhhhhhh.........

More later........

An anecdote:

I knew this lady from Perú who was here in the US for sometime while she learned English. One say she came home from church telling how nice EVERYONE at the church was. How all of them shook her hand and welcomed her to the church.......I thought: "Wow I know no one at that church and I have been living around here since grade school". The next Sunday came and went and again my Latina pal came telling me how delightful everyone had been and not just to her but with one another......"Hmmmh?" I thought to myself.

The following Sunday I decided to go with my Peruvian friend to this "wonderful new" church.......

Well we got to the church and everything seemed as normal as one would expect at a church........We sat down listened, stood up, sat down , you get the idea........ Then my friend looks at me and says: "Okay here it comes" she says, "This is the time when we all greet one another"...........

Then it began: "Pleased to meet you", as my friend shook everyone hands who she could reach and then some.........

As we left the church I burst out laughing. My friend asked why I was laughing so crazily after church; my whole body went into convulsions. "Well", I said trying to be serious, "These folks are not telling you "nice to meet you". To which my friend replied in her Latina accent: "No?'.........I replied: "No", and tried to continue with a straight face.

"What these folks are actually telling you is: "Peace be with you!", "Not", I continue, "Pleased to meet you"............Then we both burst out laughing ........

Ahhhhhhhh that was a fun day!

Lesson gem/Leccion Joya

2010-07-06T22:38:00.000-07:00

A brief note about learning languages........

One of the many ways in which learning a second language helps you "the learner" is by opening/developing what you already know. Huh?........Okay it's like this: knowing a first language is a sort of segue way into knowing an another.......Huh?,,,,, Okay stay with me here......

It is much easier for one to learn to read in a second language if one already knows how to read in ones own language.......If you can read then YOU CAN read. Period. The ability to read transfers rapidly across languages.....Get it?......As a reader you already know all the rules to follow on how to read (left to right, sounds etc) now you just need to apply them to the reading of foreign language.

Basically the old adage that: "Old dogs can't learn new tricks" is definitely NOT the case in acquiring language. The older you are the more of an advantage you have.....See I knew that getting old had its advantages!

Hope this helped!

George Lopez

2010-07-06T22:08:00.000-07:00

Hola Amigos:
As a Latina I could not go on writing without mentioning the great George Lopez. I love his stand up act and his new television show "a la Johny Carson" but with more "sabor" (flavor).

I like Mr. Lopez not only because he is a superb comedian in his own right but because he tries to educate with humor and not a "discurso" (a speech). He never claims to be anything else than who is. He is a humble man as well as an extremely intelligent man.......... Incidentally that is how one can tell a true intellectual; by their humility and down to earth attitude.

In any event whether you agree with me or not I felt this had to be said.............

Asta pronto!

WORDS

2010-04-12T12:31:00.000-07:00

........Our words should be used as gifts to others; I heard someone say........What do you think of this?.......I think it is very poetic and true and it makes you want to think before you speak.........And how hard is this to do?..................

I suppose like with anything it simply takes time and LOTS of practice........Have you ever noticed how easy it is to be nice to those who are nice to you? And NOT the other way around? ha ha......

Sometimes I think that being kind to others is more of a gift that you give yourself. When hate or discourse enters our speech it really only affects us. Yes the other person may or may not get mad at what you have just said; but this is so relative that it is too difficult to measure...... So then to what extent has the other party been injured?

All you really come away with is how YOU are feeling and continue to feel.......Right?........I don't know either but I think so........Yeah yeah yeah thinking isn't knowing...........But it is probably the first step towards the process of thought..........

As I have told you before my dear reader: language is an ambiguous and complex lady; she may betray you even if your trying to sing.........Think clearly before you speak and remember that words should be our gifts...................

Asta Pronto!

Lesson-Gem Two:A Brief History/Leccion-Joya Dos: Una Breve Historia

2010-01-20T11:40:00.000-08:00

Why is it the "Romance" language?.....Is there any romance in it?......
The term "Romance" comes from the “Vulgar Latin” (no it’s not a potty mouth Latina/o); rather it was the "nonstandard" form of the Latin language. Who knew?
I suppose one can make the connection (with Vulgar Latin); as something like, not the "formal" part of speech.

The other side to “Vulgar Latin” was Medieval Latin. So if one spoke in "Medieval Latin"; one was speaking" the conservative version" of the language. This “conservative” was used (for the most part) when writing and in formal contexts.

Keep in mind that in medieval literature of Western Europe; serious writing was usually done in Latin. However popular stories were written in the vernacular (mother tongue) and came to be called.....Yup you guessed it……….. "romances".

A side note: When my grandfather, Carlos Jose, studied law (looooooooooooong ago),my mama tells me that he did so in Latin.....So get this........He had to learn Latin (formal) first; before he could even study law!!!.......Ya know becuz law is so easy anyway........

I always hear people say that once you know Spanish (because it is a romance language); that you can pick other languages (or guys or chicks okay WAKE UP);from the same vain........Well?......

Look.........

The sentence- She always closes the window before dining (or having dinner)is written here in several romance languages. But I can only figure the sentence out in a couple of these. How about you?

Here it is in Spanish: Ella siempre cierra la ventana antes de cenar

Latin Claudit semper fenestram antequam cenat.
Aragonese Ella tranca/zarra siempre la finestra antes de zenar.
Asturian Ella pieslla siempre la ventana/feniestra primeru de cenar.
Bolognese (Lî) la sèra sänper la fnèstra prémma ed dsnèr.
Corsican Ella chjudi sempre u purtellu primma di cenà.
Catalan (Ella) sempre tanca la finestra abans de sopar.
French Elle ferme toujours la fenêtre avant de dîner/souper.
Galician (Ela) Pecha sempre a fiestra/xanela antes de cear.
Italian (Lei) chiude sempre la finestra prima di cenare
Milanese (Le) la sara semper sü la finestra prima de disnà.
Neapolitan Essa nzerra sempe 'a fenesta primma 'e magnà
Portuguese (Ela) sempre fecha a janela antes de jantar/cear.

The word "ventana" in Spanish (window) seems to appear in almost all these sentences as some form of "finestra".

Interstingly enough (for me anyway WAKE UP) I was able to "decipher" some of the words in these sentences. It would have been a lot easier for me if that darned "finestra", would have been replaced by the word "ventana", a word I know……I guess?.......

However I would have only understood pieces of information not the whole "Hallaca". What is an "Hallaca?" Glad you asked. Here it goes...

The Hallaca is a staple of the Venezuelan Holiday dinner dish. Yes my family is from Venezuela. And Hallacas are really yummy! And really only prepared for/around Christmas. They are a ton of work! So no I don't make them; so don't ask me for any orders........

The Hallaca is also the most representative icons of Venezuelan multicultural heritage. I like to think of it as Jazz....A little of this a little of that......

Hallacas are prepared with a "multicultural" array of ingredients that include: European ingredients:like raisins, nuts and olives, indigenous ingredients: corn meal colored with annatto seeds (natural plant extract used to dye foods) and onions. Also African ingredients: smoked plantain leaves used for wrapping. I love how the Hallacas look wrapped in the big plantain leaves!

Remember how I said food brings people together?..........

Okay so back to the "whole Hallaca" metaphor. When you learn Spanish in school (as a foreign language) you tend to feel as I do when I read all of these "romantic sentences".........Like" "I guess I know what there saying?"......"I can pick up some of it"........"I got one word"........hmmmmmmmmm? Kinda....Nope........

You can't "pick up" words here an there when your listening/having a conversation.......Ya know watta I mean?..........Like in Austurian the phrase : Ella pieslla siempre la ventana/feniestra primeru de cenar. If I read this or if someone was saying this to me I would get that: “She always window before dinner”......hmmmmmmm? What the heck does she do at the window before dinner? Does she jump out the window before dinner? Does she have a phobia about windows? Is her significant other coming from the window to shoot us both?.......See? It gets to be important to know.

Yes I can ask the person what she/he means; but I am not sure that I would get anywhere or where to start? Weeeeeell you might say; “You can use hand gestures and keep talking ;till one of you gives up and has dinner by themselves or with the window closed.....

To that I would say to you my dear amigos: “Would it not be better to know the entire conversation from the beginning?......

So this is what I want you to take away from this "lesson-gem" today: Don't settle. If you are taking a course on line or at a college.......Do not settle for this. Knowing half of what someone is telling you is like riding a bike with blindfolds on......Ya may get there eventually but you will be severely injured........How so?........

Tell ya next time........

Lesson-Gem One (Lección-Joya Uno)

2010-01-14T07:25:00.000-08:00

La primera Lección-Joya tiene que ver con el alfabeto Español. Si puedes aprenderte no solo el alfabeto pero la pronunciación de cada letra; podrás empezar a leer en Español!

Obviamente no vas a saber que carrizo estas leyendo;pero al menos los que te escuchan lo creerán!

Cool huh? ja, ja, ja. That's right even the ha ha ha's have to be translated!

Proverbio de hoy:
"En boca cerrada no entran moscas!

Translation puhleeeze!!!!

The first "Lesson-Gem" has to do with the Spanish alphabet. If one can learn not only the letters in the alphabet but also how to pronounce each letter; you can start reading in Spanish. Obviously you are not going to know what the heck your reading; but others will think you do! Cool huh?

Today's proverb:
"In a closed mouth; flies can not enter" (It's funnier in Spanish)

Got Spanish?

2010-01-13T19:50:00.000-08:00

Hola/Hello Everyone!!!!!!

So I have been busy today trying to find some other things my readers may be interested in.

So I did some digging, (not outside though too cold),but in the vast tunnels of my mind.........What did I find?....Glad you asked.......

Well besides some much needed cleaning and more than few cobwebs; I realized that I needed to add more about one of my "mother" tongues....One of them being: Spanish...Duh!......Yes another "Duh" moment for me......

By the way. Why do they do the call it "your mother tongue"?...Does there seem to be a mother in law joke in there to you?.....Okay, okay...... focus people!!!!!

So here is my plan........

Yes!!!! I will bore you with Spanish lessons, culture, about my life over seas, my family, food and so much moooooooore.......More Latina info. than you EVER dreamed of!!!!!!!!

So as you read these "lesson-gems" email me with questions/dilemmas at:
gotspanish@gmail.com

There I will be able to give you more tips (tailored to your situation); and these tips will become a part of my Blog. I will also be able to provide you with the tools you will need the most to learn Spanish. Most importantly I will learn about my readers!

So staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay tuned!!!!!!Wake up!

An Aha! Moment!

2010-01-11T23:27:00.000-08:00

Okay I hate to use this term: "Aha moment". It sounds very commercialized/dorky to me."No se que?".......

In any event I had one of those moments this evening. By the way what is an "Aha! Moment?" It seems to me an aha! moment does not necessarily mean something good. I mean I guess that is what it's supposed symbolize?... "Aha! I found my slippers!", "Aha! I remember where I left my keys!" or "Aha! You cheating bastard I gotcha now!!!!"........See watta I mean?.........

Any who. I was talking to my husband (yes on occasion men and women can converse and these conversations don't often involve the t.v. remote).....More on this another time.....

So ya know how when someone tells you something that makes you think?.... "Well yeah!" "Duh!".......This is what happen to me tonight. I can admit it, I am a strong Latina. So here goes that story......

I was writing a new column and asked my husband (as he is my spelling Guru), how to spell something. Now, yes, I know what you are thinking. "Duh, use the spell check". Well hold on there!......... I did use the spell check only to find that their were like 15 different ways to spell this word. And, NO! I will not tell you the word I could not spell, for the life of me! It's too embarrassing.

Anyway as I was saying, before I so rudely interrupted myself: I asked my Guru hubby.

My Guru says to me (after answering my questions), "So like you speak Spanish right?".......Uhmmmmmmmmmm? "Yeah hon". "All my life". So he says, "Well I was thinking how come you don't translate your Blog into Spanish?", he continues, "I mean the whole "thing" is based on the fact that you are a Latina and can speak two languages right?"....."Uuuuuuum? Yeah hon". He says, "Weeeeeeeeell?........This would be a great way for Latinos and "those who speak Spanish" to read it as well!"

Hmmmmmmmmmm? Let's recap: "This would be a good way for Latinos AND "those" who speak "Spanish" to read it too"..........I am sorry, "honk", I need a judges ruling on this..... "Latinos and "those" who speak Spanish? Ya see how these pearls just fall on my lap? Watta am I to do? I can't not take a shot!

So in my Guru's world there are "Latinos" and "those" who speak Spanish? I think I need to re address/down grade him from that whole "Guru" thing......Definitely.......

Anyway back to my story........"BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!", I thought. "Why the hell did I not think of that?".....Duh!!!!!!!!!! (So this really became a "DUH" moment; not an aha! one). But that's how I am. That's how I roll people!

What is that saying? About being too close to the trees or the forest or something outside???? "If you get too close to a bush you can get a rash? I don't know......But it's true!!!!! If you are too close to nature you can't see a damn thing!!!....At lest that's what I think politicians say when they are hunting?.....I will leave that one to your imagination........

Speaking of nature. I had a friend who would go on vacation to her cabin. Now I must explain here before you get visions; of some gorgeous retreat in the mountains a la Hollywood style. This was not a "retreat" as in: "Oh I have to go there." This was maybe "retreat" as in: "I can't believe I came here deliberately?" Kinda thing. Okay?

One of the "special" things that her cabin lacked (of many); was that it had no running water or indoor plumbing. That's right people; this is living! Now follow me here it may get tricky........Since it had no "indoor" plumbing......Wait for it.... Yup......She had to use the out door plumbing "facilities". Yaah! She had to pee outside! I KNOW!!......

So I was like, "How the hell do you do that?", "I mean what if a thing goes up your butt or what ever?" She would laugh and answer me in a very calm instructional-tape-like- voice, "I am just too close to nature to see anything; all I feel is calmness all around me". To which I said, "Well yeah I can be calm too; but I can still feel when something bites my ass?"..........I digress.....

So anyway......... I will be translating my column (to the best of my ability) into to the Spanish language. Now I use the term "to the best of my ability" very "deliberately" here, as well as a "disclaimer"....... Don't like, count on the fact that the translating you see/read is correct. Ya know?....... Ask around....... Send me comments....... Correct me....... Whatever........ But by no means assume that I am a "translating queen".

Remember when you assume?.......You make an ass out of you and Uma Thurman.............

My first Blog.........What dare I say?.......

2010-01-06T18:11:00.000-08:00

I should have written this a while back........But here goes....

Well I did it! I made a Blog; so now what?..hmmm?.....So much to say....so much to talk about......So much to think about. I just watched an interesting episode in what we call " television-media". I will share my take on it with you. And maybe make ya laugh! ...................

I was watching a show tonight that showed an overweight actress talking about her weight gain, loss, gain. I think this too, is the story of my life and the lives of so many; with a tiny difference.......Were not in Hollywood.

We, my friends/amigos, are not part of the beautiful Hollywood people.

A side note here: My mom thinks that all of "us" I(you/me) are the real beautiful people. Mom says that if we think about it; they (Hollywood) are the really ugly people!? Her reasoning: “Hollywood people have 5 different “assistants” getting them “ready” in the morning”. Mom goes on: “One has to be pretty damn ugly; not to look good after that!” I like this analysis.

Let's continue the show.

The woman in this show seemed to think that she had found the "key" to weight loss. Yes folks she had found the key; but she was not divulging where it was? This seemed hilarious to me; as she claimed to be out there to "help" people???
Oh this too easy. I can go in soooo many different ways here?..hmmm?......Okay.

Well this actress, (the one that wants to help “the people”), would only tell the host of the show; the whereabouts of said key. She (the actress) could not tell the rest of us pathetic losers; till she had launched her "weight loss" program?! ......I mean her “key”.

Here comes the funny part. I saw the host of this show about a month ago and thin would NOT be a word; I would use to describe this person. AT ALL!

Hmmmmm?.......Could it be possible that the actress gave the host; a key to the mint instead? Maybe she got her metaphors crossed?.........Possible?………..

Anyway. The actress had apparently lost 20 some pounds already in but a few weeks. Yes "weight loss" was detected, (by her I guess), while in her “key” program; which she will not divulge to anyone. Let’s us also remember that she indeed wants to help people.

What do I think? Too easy!...........

When I hear someone say that they have found the key to weight loss, I wanna scream: LOOSE IT!!.........There is no key to weight loss, (trust me), if there were; the weight loss industry would die out!...

I think weight loss like anything else starts in your head.

Interestingly enough the wisest comment on this “show” came from the world's heaviest man who said: “I don’t believe in stomach surgery. I believe the problem (weight gain), is in our head”. He continues. “So until they can come up with surgery for ones head; I will diet one day at time”.......

VERY WISE words indeed....Too bad they got lost in the “bleeps” that we know all too well as television...

I wondered if the actress had received this man's message? Doubtful as the host of the show was twirling her/his hair as she/he listened to the only wise message....

And so it goes. People speak, we listen, they pretend to listen, we talk back, they don't hear, they don’t think. We change our lives, we think, we try to analyze. We dream we hope and some of us; go as far us basing it all on bleeps…..

My quote: “Language is a tangible yet ambiguous friend; she may not relay what you intended to say”....Who knew?.......If you must use this quote you will need to use my name/send me cash. My people will talk to your people....Okay?

So my blog will be a little of this, a little of that and some of the other. As I am a bi cultural bilingual (raised on two sides of the Americas); I will undoubtedly weave those experiences into my writing. In the end we are all filled with experiences and yet lead our lives in wonder.....

I hope you will find my blog thought provoking. I hope that you become a part of the conversation. I hope to make some friends along the way. I hope that others share their experiences with me; but most of all I hope you have fun, a few laughs and enjoy what you see/read along the way.

Help Wanted

2009-12-29T19:47:00.001-08:00

Help wanted! I love those two words! To me they mean a mountain of possibilities. An adventure, if you will, into the unknown, a new chapter in my otherwise dull life......Where I will almost definitely, fall flat on my.......well.......you get the idea...........

So I am in search for work which as you know; is a job in itself. I am not sure who came up with that statement; but I am guessing it was someone...shall we say.......uummmm....stupid!?

If you think that looking for a job is a job in itself; let me clue you in on a couple of things. Now I know that one may or may not recall (depending on how long one has been unemployed) what a “job" is.

Let’s begin:

1) Jobs usually by definition PAY you (i.e marked by the reception of pay, involving gainful employment in something often done as a hobby, yielding a fair profit.

Now payments can come in many forms (i.e. stipends, material gains or profit)..... you get the idea. However what a "job" does NOT do is NOT pay you anything.Unless of course you are "working" to pass the time.

So while your out of work and looking for work....ummmmm?...Yup; NO ONE is paying you. Soooo?..........yup.......NOT a job.

2) Looking for a job is not like a job in that; if you don't show up for work no one fires you.

3) And this may go with number two as well: if no one cares that you have not showed up then the probabilities are high; that they wont care when you leave.... Yes; also a sign that this is NOT a job.

4) And finally…. and this should not even have to be said: If you have NO MONEY; that is a sign you don't have a job. And no, no amount of time you spend looking for a job; will ever make up for that fact.

I am sorry. I hate being right about this. Don't hate me because I am beautiful.........

I love all the “helpful tips" you get when looking for a job.....
"Don't look desperate"....Ummmmm but I am desperate?! How does one not look desperate? Let see………….

Interviewer: “So were looking to hire someone pretty much right away".
Me:” Oh..... That's nice. Good. Well....... give me a call if you want to. Or....... don't call. Either way. That's fine. Whatever you decide".
Yeah this employer will snatch you right up! NOT..........

I hate being right about this. I for one like someone who will beg (on command) if I ask them to. So as an interviewer/employer I am looking for that person; the desperate beggar. Think of about it. You as an employer continually have someone who is begging to: work late, come in early, run your errands, call your mom, walk your dogs and still begs you to do more.......Ummmm? yeah! Your hired!...........

I also hate it when people ask: are you a professional? A professional what? I asked someone this a long time ago and this is sort of how that conversation went.

" I think people ask you if you’re a professional because they want to know if you went beyond high school".....(Okay intriguing?)...

"Why?" I ask her.

She answers: "Well an employer wants to know if you will be someone "responsible" and are "committed" to something?...

To which I say, "Aha?...Well I have been committed to chocolate for the past....I don't know?........35 years? Is that what you mean?"

She answers, "Noooooo", now she is getting a bit irritated that I have cornered her into this “conversation”.

"Well what do you mean?" I ask her. I love to make people squirm.........hee hee......Oh face it! I wouldn't have anything to report back to you about otherwise!

She says: "Well they (employer) want to know that you have been "educated"; beyond a high school education. She adds, "You know. That you followed a course of study".

"Oh", I say flatly, "So let me see if I got this right", I continue, "In your world I have to be college "educated" in order to; be thought of as a "responsible" person”.

I continue, "Hmmmmm?.....Interesting"........and then I bust out laughing! I couldn’t help it. Don’t hate me.

She just stares at me with this kind of: "What the hell are you laughing at" kind of eyes. So she asks me just that……

My response to her: "Well it’s funny!! Your premise on why/why not people get hired”. I continue, “It is also funny that our current politicians are the epitome of what is wrong with your version of the so called "educated" people”.

“What do you mean?”, she asks annoyed.

“Education” I tell her, “ is not a guarantee that people are going to be "responsible", that they are going to be "intellectual" or even trustworthy”.

I go on,” And as far as “committed” goes I think you need to define your terms”. “I can be committed”, I continue, “ to robbing you blind, I can be committed to making your life hell”…..

She interrupts getting angrier by the minute, “Were talking about people in the workplace”. To which I answer: “So Am I!”…..

I began my cross examination, "Money my dear is the source you fail to mention; by all accounts the source which makes all these things possible”. ”And”, I continue a la Perry Mason, “Money is what MAKES people appear to be “responsible”; NOT their education”.

“Listen”, I tell her feeling sorry that she is within ear shot of my wrath, “All people will never be reliable, responsible and all the other bologna that you have been taught since school age”. I continue, “ But at least money will make people predictable”.

“So the more money you make the more predictable you are? How do you mean? She asks.

To which I say, “Presumably the more money you have/make the more you need/think you need it. Hence the odds that you will show up for work will be greater” I continue, “It does not mean that in your place on the ladder; you will be responsible/ committed”. I continue, “ It simply means that you are most likely to show up”........”Remember ENRON?........Hmmmmmmmm?.......

In case your wondering me and this person are still friends. And yes she has come over to my side a bit. I am proud to say!

So anyway…… Here is a better definition and one that I can least live with:

This comes to us today from "walterncool" from Yahoo answers (okay so it's not exactly the library of Congress; but for today's purposes it will do).

And to make this a more meaningful read; place the words “we the people” where it reads “employer”.

"Being professional means fulfilling responsibilities and taking heat. Any employee, no matter what the job, has a contractual obligation to the employer to fulfill the requirements of his or her job description while giving the employer's interests high priority". "Beyond that, working professionally generally means holding to more formal standards of performance and ethics than you might in your personal life. Conform to professional and/or industry standards in doing your job. Do it skillfully and well. Don't pursue personal agendas at the company's expense. Work hard; play fair. Represent your employer, your fellow workers, and yourself with dignity. Give the client and employer more than their money's worth".

I like this answer. Clear and it makes my point. You work; you are a professional. The more power you have the more responsibility you owe. Just ask Spider Man.
Adios!

Exorcise

2009-12-29T18:09:00.001-08:00

......So I am supposed to be on my way to a healthier me. Apparently the current me is not so well. Yes I confess I could stand to loose a "few" pounds. The problem: I don't want to “stand” while doing it! Mine is not a world of the "Iron Man"; my world is more of the "Recycled Aluminum Gal". My motto for running: “Do it only when chased”.

So I started "running". Perhaps the term "running" here being stretched to its literary limits. Anyway I started my attempt at movement several weeks ago. However I had to stop; given the fact that I developed pneumonia. Now I am not saying that it was the running things fault; but it sure as hell didn't help! I mean it was 20 degrees out and I was sweating like a pudding at a picnic. Then I would come home and sit in front of the fan to "cool off". Perhaps not the most brilliant move? But hey at least I wasn't standing outside with any clothes on!...........Yes a little story………..
.......My mom (don't tell her I told you this) went to school with the nuns at an all girls school in Madrid, Spain. She hated it. So when she would come home on the weekends (during the cold season) she would take really cold showers. After the showers she would stand wet/naked by an open window! Much to her dismay however she said: “ Damn it! I never got sick!” Nuns will do that to ya!.........

So here I am the daughter of the "Bionic Chica" (unable to get sick while standing naked in front of a window during winter); getting sick while sitting (dressed) in front of a fan! I am a disgrace to the world of exercise. And to the all Bionic Chicas everywhere!

So now I have been home NOT running and getting flabbier by the minute. When your in your teens you can stop eating for a few hours and loose weight. When your in your forties you can stop eating for a few years and NOTHING. And when you’re in your 50’s, 60’s and 70’s you may as well face it: the lardage has won!

MERRY HOLIDAYS

2009-12-27T16:03:00.001-08:00

Feliz Navidad and Merry Holidays Friends!

I am sorry I have not written for a bit(or a bite)get it? Anyway......life tends to get in the way. Does that ever happen to you? You WANNA do something but that darn life thing gets in the way. So today I stopped and got off the life train; long enough to wish you all a happy and safe holiday!!!!

Speaking of "holiday"......I never know what to say to people during this time of year. If I say Merry Christmas to the "wrong" person I may be violating his/her civil rights. On the other hand if I don't say Merry Christmas to the "right" person; then I may be perceived as a crazy liberal!!!! Oh no not that!!!!.............

Here is my take on all of this: We need to care and respect every one's beliefs. We learn from everyone a bit of culture and in the end; we may end up enriching our own lives. And that is how I see it. That is my confession for the Christmas season............

Though I must confess (again), that in talking to my friend who is of the Jewish faith; I think I want to "enrich" my life with some of her traditions..........Like the gift thing that keep on coming for 8 days in a row!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah! Jewish children receive gifts for Hanukkah – often one gift for each of the eight nights of the holiday. ........And eating Chinese food and watching movies on Christmas day........ Chinese food having something to do with the fact that they are the ONLY restaurants opens on Christmas! hee hee (;

Of course there are many, many more meaningful lesson to learn from other cultures than what I have stated above (duh). But you can’t deny that it is true; food brings people together! So find what brings you together and give thanks!

I have to tell you this that has been on my tiny mind lately.......Okay wake up!

You know those dorky happy faces that people put at the end of a sentence (like the one I used at the top there)..........Well here is an exclusive peek to my brilliant mind; for free………Let’s face it; if it wasn’t free you wouldn’t be looking………

....So I would get these emails from colleagues, and at the end of their sentences were these odd dorky looking symbols?

“Yet another part of the English language that I have not been privy to”, I thought. “How I wish I could have gone to Harvard or Yale”, I continued, “Or at least taken a good English class!”

I must begin by telling you that the fact that I received these symbols from very educated people; made me feel even more out of the loop than usual. As someone who speaks two languages I always feel that; I don't know exactly all there is to know about either language.

So I chucked it off as: "Oh well I can't know everything", but still I thought, "Wow how stupid I am in matters of writing", and I would sigh.

"I can't ever ask what (the symbol) that is/means; I will sound totally illiterate!".

At this point in my life I sounded half illiterate; but if I actually asked the question??….. You get the idea.... What is that expression?....."It is better to be thought a fool than to open ones mouth and remove all doubt"......Yeah that seems like good advice.........

So for years I never knew what the hell that (: thing was!!!!! It mocked me whenever I read an email!!!!!! "That damn symbol!", I thought, "What the hell does it mean!!!!!!!!!?".........

So being the ever clever chica that I am; I asked one of my students. Yes people when in doubt ask a child!

So I tried to sound as grown up/professional as possible; using as much ambiguity as I could possible pack.

“I was wondering Carmen,(not her real name), if you could add more of “those” on your page”, I said staring at her hands.

Carmen looks up at me with an “okay she is really gone now” look. So she asks, “What”?

“Ummm those things”, as I point to the screen.

Carmen asks again, “You mean more words?”……

”Oh dear Lord” I am thinking, “Do I sound as stupid as I feel?”…..I laugh nervously, “No silly”, I say pointing to the “symbols”, “Those things”.

Carmen in a very sweet matter of fact voice asks: "The happy faces?”.

“Yeeees the happy faaaa......What? I ask completely dumbfounded.

She repeats it slowly like a parrot mocking me, “Haaaappyyyy Faaaaaceeees?” Carmen continues as she sees the strange look on my face, "Seeeeeee its side ways?" she smiles as she tries to comprehend why on earth; is she explaining this to me?

Then I say, "Ah, ooooh yes! So it is!?"........

Confession: I did not see any damn happy face. I am sorry maybe after a few cocktails in me……… it may begin to look like something…….. But looking at this thing sober, with the lights on, in the middle of the day…….. no can do........

So Carmen ever the sweet gal she is; guides me through it. Yes people someone has to guide me through; what amounts to a part of a parenthesis and a colon!.......

She continues, "Look you just hit shift and then you hit it again over here", she looks at me like she is waiting for some kind of sign; that I actually understand the English language. She also looks over my head; maybe to make sure none of my neurons are on fire? Or it could have been my hair that day; it's hard to say.

So finally I say: "Oh I get it now!", I continue, "Yes I do see it! Watta ya know about that?? (Don't answer)..........

So then Carmen continues to tell me and show me all the different variations to it. Wow! I felt like a real pro. I felt like a part of Americana or LatinaAmericana or something "cana"………..

The one day a friend sends me this:

:>)

Okay I know when I have been defeated.........I give up!!!!!!

Merry Holidays! (; C: :>)

BACK........

2009-12-27T14:56:00.001-08:00

You know what I have discovered recently? That if you need glasses and your typing in the dark........a different language is created..........Did you know that?..So hello becomes gello; last week becomes "astr weel" "ans so on".......So yeah I will be getting glasses soon..... Speaking of glasses on of the characters in my book has glasses; made out of molasses.......More about that as my book develops......I am sure you are all on pins and needles...........ha ha

As newbie to this Blog business I was looking on the net to see who had the best blog ( I need all the help I can get lets face it) . So it turns out that this person named: Marc Andreesen has like THE best blog; so I go on to look for his blog....... And .....wait for it.....nothing was there. I get to his page and it would not come up on my screen?!......

The perfect metaphor for my life: I finally get somewhere and NO ONE is there. In the words of Gertrude Stein: "There is no there, there". So true so true. I don't know what that means to you but to me it means: "Be happy where you are". Simple to the point......

So I went out and made an impulse purchase today; you know the kind that is supposed to make you feel better?....Till you get home and look at your checking balance? Well it was good while it lasted; right? Though let's face it most of our purchases ARE impulses. Do you ever say to yourself as you leave the store: "All I came for was a can of tuna for my cat".......Ahhhhhhh the stores you gotta love them?....

Have you ever noticed that there are no clocks in the stores? Hmmmm? I can't imagine why that is?.......No one should care about the outside world while they are there.......This is the Disney World for you wallet......The Lost City of Gold........mainly your own..... And these stores know exactly where to place this stuff so you can't pass it up.
I saw this show once (so you know its true) that told you the why/where of all the store tricks. Basically if you want the "cheap" stuff/clothes (after the usual 2000% mark up); you gotta go to the back of the store. Think of this as your cardio for the day.......

If you are at a grocery store however all the rules change....The cheap groceries will not be at your eye level nor will they be in the back. The grocery stores know that were all too lazy/too much of a hurry/toot tall to bend over to look for stuff? There is a joke in there somewhere……..Stop it!
And of course all the “impulse” stuff (or all the stuff we end up leaving the store with)is found at eye level. Things like: "Grow Hair Fast kit", "Teach your Dog Math" you get the idea ..........

You'll like this. I have to confess that I can remember thinking (as a young teenage "fashionista" )while visiting the clothing stores : "Oh my gosh this store will so go under unless it stops selling things so cheap". True story.... I can also remember a man on TV feeding my fears by also saying: "At these prices were giving stuff away"....What can I say I was young.......

I also remember shopping at a store called the "ID"; though I don't believe any of us who shopped there; knew exactly what the "ID" meant. I just can't see teen age girls with big hair, tons of make up and Madonna like outfits saying to each other: "...So yeah Tiffany: “The Id is the unconscious by definition;In Freud's formulation: "It is the dark, inaccessible part of our personality”........
Sorry, I just don't see that as ever happening...........

So what does this all mean? I don’t know I just this write this stuff for your amusement. But I guess if it were up to me; I would just want a store called: "It's all in the Back". Then I know I am getting a deal!......Oh stop it!

FOR JOB SEEKERS

2009-10-25T13:05:00.000-07:00

Try this I just received. You can make money while having your resume posted. I have not tried it yet!
try Resumark.com!
Adios
Caro

Confesions of a Wise Latina: Happy Go Lucky........

2009-10-23T20:15:00.000-07:00

Confesions of a Wise Latina: Happy Go Lucky........

Happy Go Lucky........

2009-10-23T19:57:00.000-07:00

...So what is the deal with all these organizing supplies, people, companies? Have you looked at a magazine lately that does not have all these ads in it? Apparently you and I very unorganized and we MUST get ourselves organized otherwise chaos will soon follow......Now I have a few comments about this (really hear me out). If you ARE unorganized then how would you know it? I mean really. You have lived you life up till now being who you are: unorganized, happy go lucky (where did that phrase come from and what does that mean?). If your lucky then your happy? Duh! No kidding. I have never met an unlucky happy person who is happy go lucky about it...... At least not before a few rounds of tequila anyway!.....Is lucky the person's name? "Hey there goes Happy Go-Lucky"! So Go- Lucky is his/her last name?............ And how about the words from Jack and the Knife? And how about those awful lullabies: "...the cradle will fall; down goes the baby cradle and all"? Who wrote this stuff Fellini?.......Oh it's an allegory?........Yeah sure....My theories on allegories goes like this: "This crap makes no sense at all", "I know let's call it an allegory!".........

So anyway I was picking up my son from school and to pass the time I was looking through some magazines.....Okay wait I have to tell you this.....How long has it been since someone told you: "To pass the time I was" i.e. whatever. No one uses that phrase anymore. Think about when was the last time you used it?....... Hmmm?........ You can't remember can you?..... My theory is (Si, I have a lot of them): "If you can't think of when you last said "to pass the time I did".... then you really need to let time pass.

We are all in this constant hurry all the time. For what? Mostly to hurry up and wait! And everything in our society is set up to tell us that: "If your not in a hurry you must not be living a very fulfilling life". I know people (yes I know people; I am part of very exclusive club) who think they are so important because they are soooooo bz. Well I hate to be the one to tell you folks (actually I don't rally hate it).... Busy and important are NOT the same thing. Just like annoying and interesting are not the same thing...Get the idea here?........

The sales industry know this (the fact that we have to all feel important) and feed on it! So men/women have come up with these fantastic products to make our lives "better/make us feel important". Let's see (too much to choose from here) there is the: fast food industry and their faster = better slogans... "If ya can't get it under a minute will give your money back". First of all (I don't know about you)but unless your saving lives for a living; you can take sometime to eat. Trust me. My life is not that interesting/in that much chaos (I don't know about yours); that I can't take 30 minutes or more to sit down and consume food. I would say that if you are in that much of continual crisis; seeking professional help may not be too far away....

And the computerized gadgets. Have you seen these commercials? "Get the new xR920 you can text, fax, copy, twitter, tell time under water, keep up on your soaps, water your plants and much more while you drive to work!".........Okay I must say this before I continue: Do not talk on your cell phone while your driving! Much less fax or water plants! Anytime I see a car swerving on the road; I don't think "drunk" I think "cellphone moron"! And........Yup there they are babbling on the phone...... And they try to look so important too. Guy in suit: "Yea Charlie sure I will get those boxer shorts you like. Yeah the loose ones I know"... Woman in suit: "Yeah Carla? Did you hear about Tom's impotence problem?"...........

I love the adds on cable that have all these crazy gadgets like: "Snuffles" the Kleenex you don't throw away! or Super sponge: you can wash your car and use it as a contraceptive aid!..... And the prices are always $19.99?.........

So what is my conclusion to all this? Glad you asked. Next time your at a restaurant tell the waiter to take his/her time. Tell the chef that you will gladly wait to get a wonderful meal. Tell the "Super Quick" clerk to slow down and make "Burger Heaven" kid take more than a few minutes to cook your burger......You would like it cooked this time! If no one around you slows down its up to us to set the pace! And this how I see it........

Back to my original thought (not sure how original it is but here it is anyway)......So okay were unorganized what of it? What is it that I am supposed to get organized for anyway? To keep up appearances? To make my house look different than it really is; for when other people come over? What? I mean short of not being on the "Hoarder's show" (by the way whenever I watch that show I have to throw something out); I think were okay.

So as I looked through this magazine (the one that is telling me that I have to be more organized); I see pictures of women who I guess are supposed to inspire me to get organized. I also notice that these women are rich and so they can afford to; spend time "organizing"...... I am sorry but I have a real life with a real family a real job and real problems. Getting organized is not at the top of my list. Ya know?.......So the woman is standing by her "specially" made closet and says: "Oh yes I hired a contractor to turn my bathroom into a closet". I thought me too! And I didn't even have to hire anyone! I hide a bunch of crap below the bathroom sink and in the linen closet...wait for it........I hide a bunch of stuff too not related to linen! ....I also use my towel racks to dry stuff on! Wow! I am part of the beautiful people and didn't even know it!............

Then the other women on the next page says: "I have to wear suits all the time (she is probably the one on the cell phone); so I color code them and put them in this closet. I then use the other closet ( inside my Victorian home) for all my sweaters"....... Me too! What are the odds?......I use every nook and cranny of my tiny apartment to stuff things in. So I guess I won. I was able to use up the most space. Ha!

As I turn the page I have to laugh out loud...... But before I tell you that I have to confess something, that's right; remember Confessions of Wise Latina? You knew what you were getting into to......... So I have this habit of talking to myself in the car, which wouldn't be so bad; but I do it out loud and answer myself as well. That's right. Remember what I said before about the people for whom mental help was not to far off. Yup. This is how I know! I am one of them......Wake up! Stay with me!........

In my car I have held meetings with President Obama, Carter; interviewed great witters, movie people you name it. Recently I interviewed Michael Moore. What's that? Yes it went very well; were having coffee next week...........So I mentioned I do this out loud right? I am like that that one channel that tells you to "live out loud"....... Except that I am not a movie star and no one gives a rat's behind about what I have to say/do in my car........ And oh yeah there no cameras filming my every move..... But really I used to be so involved talking to myself.......I mean interviewing famous people....That I would forget that others (by others I mean whom ever is outside of my car); can see me........ Since my car is not a limo, I don't have tinted windows. I must confess (you knew this was coming) sometimes I wish I did have tinted windows. You know when I am eating a huge piece of chocolate anything, have no make up on, my hair is dirty (really dirty) ......... Well you get the idea..............I am sure that's why celebrities have them too....Yes my fantasy life at work again............

So anyway thanks to the technical age and technical community at large; I can now talk to myself and it looks like I am talking on a speaker phone!.... Ha!.... Its so cool........ Don't tell anyone. This is one of the one of the few things that I love about technology....... I can lie better!..............

So I turn the page to see this guy (always a guy) sitting watching television (what an original photo); he is surrounded by water. Apparently his roof has collapsed and water is gushing down on him; but he still smiles...... Why? Because he knows his wife/girlfriend/significant other will pick up the mess; that's why. In every relationship there is someone who does the dumping and another who does the picking up. Always. Right?.........But I laughed not so much because of the "obvious" picture but because the ad was depicting someone who was happy; due to the fact that he had homeowners insurance ......This must be that stupid: "Happy Go-Lucky guy"......We found him! Yes!................

So what is my take on organizing? Just this: Start small and think of what really drives you crazy about your habits. Example:

Problem: Every morning your looking for the keys making you late for work.
Solution: Place keys where you can find them; when you get home.
Problem: You are late for work because you cant find what to wear.
Solution: Set your clothes out the day before.

You are laughing but to make real change happen; we must start with small steps (remember the "Journey of a Thousand Miles" thing?)........I am not sure who exactly walks/walked a thousand miles (I mean besides the folks in the Iron Man/Person thing). But I digress....... Change that we make slowly; stays with us forever. Just look at our legislators.......ooops......

The above mentioned "problem" scenarios are/were my husband and what he has learned (from me) in the past 15 years!.......That's right people this is how we do it......It takes over a decade but damn it we CAN change!

Until next time and more confessions! Take care!

WOMAN SCOUT

2009-10-08T21:43:00.000-07:00

.and yesterday I was running my morning errands; well "running" is a bit dramatic here......But anyway, it was a cold rainy morning the kind that reminds you that winter is just around the corner; and about to bite you in the….Well you get the idea .......As I make my way down town (an I use the term "downtown” loosely) as I live in a small town; population 600 and 3 cats. "Downtown" consists of 2 blocks; but it is a very cute two blocks. I remember when my husband first brought me here. I fell in love with this little story book like town. It seems that every street is filled with huge trees and pretty little houses. My favorite time around here is Christmas. I love the way the lights glisten in the snow…..Okay, okay, enough of this cute stuff….This story is hard core!!!! Yeah!!!!!!! So I am driving along listening to an old Ricky Martin CD (oh yeah I am real hip). I am pausing for laughter………………Done?.........Okay……..so I see a very old and frail lady. This lady is walking (by walking I mean some movement can be detected); as she holds a pile of books toward her chest. I am thinking it’s raining, it’s cold; and this poor woman is walking through these streets alone. The horror! So having gone to a private catholic school and being the good Samaritan that I am; I have to stop and help. It is my belief that offering help; is the price you pay for guilt. Trust me. However not having belonged to any Girls Scout’s group; my methods are shall we say, a bit "unorthodox". I park and leave my car (still running); so that it blocks traffic down an alley. “Who would need to go down this alley? I say to myself. “It’s so small”. Yes folks this is my reasoning. Really. One can see why I am not in the running for city planner. Plus I say to myself: “the “traffic” around here during “rush” hour is about 8-9 cars on the road.... and I don’t think it’s even an hour”………Ahhhhh yes, the sweet sense of the senseless……. Actually I have to tell you this first: When my family and I first moved here (from the “big” city); we were shocked by all the silence. To learn that the place where we had moved to deliberately; shuts down at 9p.m. is a huge shock ! Oh yeah…….. 9p.m…………. Well I guess I should clarify (in case the town mayor is reading this); everything shuts down but the "Kwiky Mart". “Kwiky Mart” is the name we have given it. My son used to watch countless hours of “The Simpson”; and you can guess the rest. So as you can see my life is very glamorous. At any time of the day or night I can get a slushy, ice, pizza ..........And at a moments notice I can jet out to Duluth; and be back in time for dinner....Aaaaaaaaaaah the high life…..Don’t hate me because I am one of the beautiful people…….. So getting back to my story (and to earth). I get out of my car and in true “Good Samaritan” fashion I run behind this old lady and yell: “Excuse me do you need some help?” Now as a side note here: It is common knowledge that all old ladies are deaf; something about their ear drums shrinking”. It’s true I read this somewhere (Tales of the Crypt Monthly)…. I wait in anticipation for this sweet old lady to look into my eyes and thank me for my heroic deed. As she looks up at me with her gray eyes and sad little face, she says flatly: "No". ………And there you have it folks “Angels at work”!!!!!!!!!!!!.....This is how you do it people; so take note. As I excuse myself and turn around feeling as though I have been slapped across the face; I hear a distant chatter. It’s the little old lady; she is talking to me. Actually it seems as though she has been carrying on a conversation all along; but I digress. This is what I was able to detect: ……. “So I was one of the first women to set up a missionary home in Africa!". At least that is what I think she said? She also goes on to tell me that she was a teacher for 53 years! That she lived in Hawaii for a time and did all kinds of things to help others. So I ask her what kind of teacher she was and she says: "I am a sister"!......... What are the odds?....... As it turns out I stood outside talking to her(the little old lady) in the freezing cold; for what seemed like an eternity.........It reminded of a sitcom where I am trying to get out of a conversation but can't. So I kept waiting for a break, a pause, the taking in of breath, a cough…. something!!!........But nothing….nothing happened....... By this time it had stopped raining a bit; I considered it a sign to get while the getting was good! So I am thinking of a way to extricate myself from these proceedings; in a nice way so that I can still make my mom proud......... So I say:"Well I got to get going it was nice to meet you". She says: "Yeeeeees....anyway when I was in Chicago........I try again: "Okay then; I have to get going my car has been running all this time!". She says: "Oh my!"........"and anyway".........I try then to become part of the conversation; you know if you can’t beat them? So I say: "So Sister how was it th?...........She interrupts: "Listen! Listen! "So I was”................. I sigh to myself and think: “Well this is it”. This is the spot where I will have to pitch a tent; and live my remaining years…..Will my son come visit? Would I still be able to get “Meals on Wheels” without a real address (“What’s that?... Yeah I live in the corner of Washington Street and 5th….literally… Yes). What would my tombstone say I wondered? ……..”Here lies a good soul…….there is one born every minute” …... So far I am thinking; this good Samaritan stuff sucks!!!!!!.....So I try again: “Well"........and then I see it!........ My beacon of hope, my salvation!.... A grumpy bus driver has started to honk her horn at my car! As you may or may not know; honking at an empty car will make it move. It’s true I read it somewhere; so you know it’s true. “YES!” I shout to myself, “Thank the good Lord above for public transportation!”...........Who knew the way to end a conversation with a nun; was to annoy the hell out of a bus driver???............There is a mixed metaphor in there somewhere?............ Truth be told I did like to listen to the old ladies’ stories; she has lived much and helped many. I realized that she must have felt very lonely and needed to talk; so listening was the least I could do. I would do it again...... We don't take time anymore to really listen to others; I am guilty of this as well. Our society has become very “me” conscious….. And this always reminds me of the old joke: "So enough about me; "what do you think about me?”……. Till another tale! Take care!