Confessions from an Impulsive Addict

TTUT-So I Thought Today Was Monday....

2013-06-18T17:13:00.001-05:00

Raise your hand if you're sick of hearing my excuses for being a HORRIBLE blogger?

*IA raises her hand*

*IA just referred to herself in 3rd person*

Well, this blogging stuff is hard when (1) You have nothing interesting or funny to say and (2) You forget until Tuesday afternoon when I notice people linking up via email and (3) You still have nothing interesting or funny to say.

I just realized that today was actually Tuesday and not Monday. WHAT?? Ugh.

Thank goodness for my partner in crime, Shawn, for hosting without me (and blogging inappropriate and inaccurate information for my parents to read). I really have missed reading you and appreciate all the sweet emails and comments. My back is much better. I guess I'm aging whether I want to or not.

Guess what? In just 5 MORE SLEEPS, this girl

will be coming to stay with me for 5 whole days!!!! My personal goal is always to make her pee her pants at least once. And since I'm not knocked up this time, the party should be amazing! Don't worry, you can catch us posting our antics on Instagram and Twitter and maybe we'll post a video for next TTUT. It could be epic. We'll see.

In the meantime, I'd like to leave you with the lastest adorable pics of my brats. I mean, I know your kids (and pets) are cute, but C'MON! These are some adorable kids! {pictures of pictures--sorry!}

Please still love me for being late. I promise to leave comment love this time!

XOXO,

TTUT: Position #24 did me in!

2013-06-04T01:54:00.001-05:00

It's Shawn filling in for Miss IA because she's thrown her back out, probably trying one of those crazy positions in that sex book she bought, she's such a wild child. Sorry Momma O. but you know as well as I do that it's true!

Anyway, I told her I would put the linky up for her and she knows me well enough by now to know I had to say a little something. So here's my something....

I'm going to be at her house lovin' on those babies of hers in just 19 days! She keeps me up to date on how long until I get there with friendly, and ever so classy, reminders like this. I think she may love me for my girls.....

Feel better friend, I'll be there to help soon!

Because IA's nosey and I know she'd ask the same thing, what crazy position(s) has rendered you bed ridden before?

TTUT: Tornadoes Can Kiss My Ass. Yes, I said ASS in my title.

2013-05-20T22:00:00.000-05:00

Hey friends! Welcome (or welcome back) to TTUT hosted by my bloggy bestie, Shawn, and myself.

I had every intention of posting some additional house pictures tonight, but due to the devastational tornadoes in my beloved state of Oklahoma, I've decided to postpone and stay tuned into the news.

The spooky, unpredicting clouds

We don't have basements in Oklahoma and unfortunately, we (as in me and my family) don't have an underground safe haven either. We DID take cover in our neighbors safe room earlier today while sirens were blaring with 4 adults, 4 kids, 2 cats and a dog. That was fun. Even a safe room made entirely of concrete is not the preferred method for staying safe. After seeing the news, I'm sure you would agree. Tornadoes can DEMOLISH and FLATTEN your house down to NOTHING.

Luckily, my little town wasn't affected by the devil. The same can not be said for a town just an hour north of us. Moore, Oklahoma had areas that were completely demolished. At last check, there were 60 confirmed deceased. This town isn't a stranger to tornadoes. In 1999, they were wiped out.

There were 2 elementary schools directly affected and tonight, they are still trapped in debris. It doesn't sound good. As a parent, my heart just aches for the families.

Yesterday, there was a large tornado in another Oklahoma area--Shawnee--outside of Oklahoma City. Friends in Tulsa were posting pictures of debris that traveled the 100 miles via the tornado and ended up in their yards and neighborhoods. They are scary beasts.

If you are the praying kind, PLEASE PRAY FOR ALL AFFECTED. It's predicted that tomorrow's forecast brings the same, if not worse weather.

So, forgive me for not posting superficial pictures of my home. I'm sure you all understand. I'm going to hug my kids, kiss my husband, pat my dog and thank the good Lord that we are safe and unharmed.

And then later, I'll try not to consume an entire bottle of Captain or eat that box of brownies that is SCREAMING my name.

XOXO,

TTUT: Migraines Suck But My New House Pictures Don't.

2013-05-13T22:28:00.002-05:00

Hey friends! I've been here for 2 weeks in a row! HOLLA! SS and I host this little link party every week and we love when you link up with us. You should join us. We have no rules!

I'm in bed with a migraine BUT I have a few pics of my house to show you {if you're nosey like I am}.

Here are a few:

The outside. Duh. I have freaking rose bushes! I didn't know until my neighbor told me. I'm awesomely observant. The landscaping of this house is amazing. I hope I can keep up with it.

Our breakfast nook area. We also have a small pub table and two bar stools over to the right. I'll have to show you later.

The room where I spend most of my time. LOVE my double oven/convection oven. I love my huge island. I love how my momma decorated the top of the cabinets. Just LOVE.

The silver thing to the right on the island? An ice maker! It's PERFECT for my nightly Captain and Coke's.

My living room (View 1). I have made some changes since this picture was taken. I put a sofa table behind the center couch and scooted the leather couch back towards the windows.

Living Room (View 2). I'm sad I didn't capture the curtains on the windows. It's my favorite feature! I'll add it later.

Living Room (View 3). We hung a picture on that big, blank wall this weekend. It completes the look. I'll post it later.

This picture turned out too dark but I'm not messing with editing tonight. The fence stuff is cream in the middle with turquoise on the sides. Thank you Hobby Lobby! I decided to add that color into my living and kitchen {along with browns and reds}. I really love it! And I WILL NOT be cleaning that window. I would kill myself.

My very bare office. I need to fix this asap. I also need to take a picture of the awesome clock on the wall to the left. I'll add a couple more pics of the office later. The shutters in here are so pretty.

Formal dining. I need to take a couple of other angles later.

That's all I'm going to post for now. It took way too long to download these freaking pictures and this migraine makes me wanna curl up in bed with the Captain. Or a hammer.

But I still love you.

PS. Thanks for ALLLL the help, Mom and Dad. You're the BEST!

xoxo,

Four Truths and a Big Fat Lie for TTUT.

2013-05-06T22:29:00.001-05:00

Ok, so yeah, I suck. We can all agree to that. I didn't post anything last week and I didn't even read any link ups. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

I'm not feeling much like a blogger lately. It's starting to feel more like a job and I already work 24 hours a day. I keep hoping that I'll get back to my old self but it may not happen, my friends.

Anyway, Miss Shawn is bad sick. She could be on her death bed. Or it could just be her appendix. Or maybe just a head cold. Whatever the reason is, we probably should say a prayer for her and maybe send her some bloggy lovin'. She was THISCLOSE to having 2 drunk people put in an IV over the weekend.

I was thinking it was time for another edition of Four Truths and a Lie. Sounds like fun, right? I'll post 4 TRUE things and 1 LIE and you have to tell me which one is the lie. Ok? And, for the record, I lie like a BOSS.

1. I once got suspended from high school for fighting. {I'm a lover you know....}

2. I walked in on my father-in-law while he was peeing. Sitting down. With no light on. In the middle of the night. And the door was open. {Lots of potential on this one. Too much detail to be true?}

3. I have polished off an entire pan of slightly undercooked brownies all by myself. {I'm not skinny and you know my love of all things brownie}

4. I've thrown up in the middle of "sexy time" and kept going like nothing had happened. {I threw this one in for my parents who are reading and now cringing...}

5. I've walked in on friends having sex on numerous occasions. I think it's a gift. {This could be a favorite past time of mine...}

Ok, friends....which one is my little white LIE?

I'll leave you with a cute picture of my 6 MONTH OLD {Already? Seriously?} pretending to be a baby bird as he opens wide for some yummy puffy stars! I love me some DREW!

If you have a Tuesday post, feel free to link up with us! We would love you long time if you did.

XOXO,

I'm Feeling Random for TTUT.

2013-04-22T22:18:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone! Thanks for stopping by and linking up to the "amazing" linky party that Shawn and I have going on. I have completely slacked on leaving you guys comments. Please know that I LOVE YOU for linking up and/or leaving me comments. On most days, I feel like I'm drowning. I bet you would feel sorry for me if I had like 5 kids instead of just 2, huh?

Anyway, I'm still nursing a broken heart. One of my very favorite celebs, {aka REAL LIFE FRIENDS} Reese Witherspoon, got arrested this weekend. NO! Not my classy Reese!! She is almost as perfect as Jen Aniston. Reese needs Elle Woods as her attorney.

And since we're talking about celebs, when will somebody lock up CrAzY Lindsay Lohan? I realize she's about to go to rehab but how many times can one girl get slapped on the hand before she goes to prison?

Guess what? I saw someone coming out of Helmart without shoes. I'm pretty sure she heard Emma ask why that lady isn't wearing shoes. Seriously? Do people still do that?

I've been taking a Body Combat class at the YMCA. It's HARD. I'm learning some moves {not to mention burning 7,000 calories an hour} but what are the chances that I could remember these martial arts moves if I was getting robbed? Maybe I should practice on my husband...

And...I'll wrap up this randomness with this fact:

My dads front teeth fell out of his head last Thursday. You know...like a meth head.

I would post the picture that my mom sent me but he would kill me. As in LITERALLY kill me. He looks like an old man. Or my great-grandma {his grandma}. I haven't decided yet. Apparently, he had a bridge that broke and now he has to see an oral surgeon to get it fixed. And my mom isn't even keeping him locked up at home. How embarrassing. Good thing I still love him--and his new lisp.

What's going on with you? Don't feel like you have to comment. I seriously suck. I know.

My Month {thus far} In Pictures

2013-04-15T22:13:00.000-05:00

Um, hi.

Are you still reading me?

I totally and completely suck at blogging. It's not a phase. I think I'm too busy to be good at it. BUT, I love this meme that I started with my bestest bloggy friend, Shawn, and I we intend to keep it going.

So...what's new with me? Oh nothing much. Just unpacking and organizing a new house. And of course SHOPPING for new stuff for the new house. So fun!

I'm going room by room with unpacking/organizing. I'm almost finished. I just have to hang some shiz up on the walls but I need friends {or my mom} for that. I have NO CLUE about decorating a house.

So, this week, I'm leaving you with some fun pics I've snapped lately. I'm trying to be more "active" as a way to lose some poundage since I decided to PAY and join a weight loss group for 8 weeks. I also joined the YMCA today. I'm sucking in the weight loss challenge though.

But I can run 2 miles!

BOOYAH!! Thanks C25K!

Sweet, sweet Drew. Always smiling!

My little soccer star!

Emma feeding the coy fish before our dinner reservation. GREAT idea for a restaurant. It passes the time.

One of her favorite pastimes....bubbles!

The WHOLE family enjoys being outside...as you can tell! Lazy Lexi. =)

Another one of Emma....SHE LEARNED TO SWING BY HERSELF!!!

ThankYouBabyJesus

Momma IA still remembers how to kick a soccer ball around! {picture courtesy of Emma}

This sweet boy turned 5 months old! His first food-avocado. Of course he LOVES it!

And his morning hair is cray cray and I can't get enough of it!!!

What's new with you this week?

Link your Tuesday post up with us! We have no rules!

A Moving We Will Go...TTUT!

2013-04-01T21:44:00.001-05:00

Hello bloggers and stalkers! Shawn and I are here again for another week of Talk to Us Tuesday--the only link up party where you can just let it all out and say anything you want because we have no rules! Just link up your Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday post with us and you're golden!

I have to keep it short and sweet today. This week is MOVING WEEK!! The packers will be here Wednesday and Thursday. They will load us up on Friday and deliver our goods on Saturday. It's a little inconvenient but THEY ARE PACKING AND UNPACKING FOR ME so I'm ok with that plan.

In the meantime, I've been de-hoarding my cabinets and drawers which has been quite the project. I plan to hit up the liquor cabinets tomorrow. No, I won't be throwing anything out from in there, but I plan on drinking my way to a less cluttered liquor space. Don't judge me. It may break during the move! That would just be sad and wasteful.

I also picked April 1st to start a weight loss competition. I guess I better pick my alcohol consumption wisely. And I better throw out the Easter candy.

And the cupcakes.

And the Elvis Presley cake.

DAMN IT...and the donuts. Ugh.

Diets suck. But summer will not look good on me if I don't do something about the jiggle and the rolls.

Are you ready for summer? Do you have any weight loss secrets for me? I could use some tips!

XOXO,

A TTUT Post with GOOD NEWS!

2013-03-25T21:00:00.000-05:00

Hi ya friends! I can't believe it's already time to post again. Shawn and I started this meme over a year and a half ago and we're still going. Barely....but still going none-the-less.

Remember last week when I was whining about my house deal not going through? Well....WE GOT THE HOUSE!!! The owners changed their mind. They decided to sell it to us even though they're losing their asses on it. It was a lose/lose situation. It is definitely a buyers market. *Thank you Mr. Appraiser for low-balling my new gorgeous house*

And...our house has a contract on it. After being for sale since May, we have our one and only offer and it was ACCEPTED by us! The movers will be at my house next week. YIKES! This is happening so quickly!!! See ya later, HELL.

In other news, I was tagged TWICE last week so I have something to blog about! WOOT WOOT!

Emmy Mom tagged me in some OLD SCHOOL BLOGGING and asked these questions:

What were you doing 10 years ago?

I was a newlywed, living in an apartment in Fort Worth, and teaching my very first year of elementary school.

What 5 things are on your to-do list?

1. Clean out closets and drawers and cabinets before the movers come pack me up. Maybe get rid of the ridiculous amount of liquor in our liquor cabinet.

2. Change my address with 126,000 bill collectors.

3. Order some kick ass patio furniture for my NEW back porch.

4. Pick out a NEW breakfast nook table for my NEW house.

5. Order new tires for my vehicle.

What are 5 snacks you enjoy?

1. Fruit

2. Wine. Yes, it's a snack.

3. Chips and dip

4. Yogurt

5. Cookies. Brownies. Candy Bars.

Name some bad habits you have:

*Biting my lip when I get nervous.

*Staying up too late.
*Playing on my phone too much.

*Drinking too much Captain. Or wine. Or beer.

*Letting the laundry pile up on the dryer because I HATE putting it away.

Name some jobs you have had:

Pimpin' out behind the counter at Charlies Chicken, counting dirty money at the credit union, wearing a tool-belt at Southerland Lumber, harrassing people for money at Prudential, and teaching the future leaders of America when they were in elementary school.

And my girl Xazmin wants to know 7 things about me.

1. I only enjoy talking on the phone when I'm alone in my car. No kids to interrupt me.

2. I have an addiction to slightly undercooked brownies. I could eat a whole pan because I have no self control. Therefore, I don't bake them often.

3. I love being a mom but I also enjoy drinking alcohol after a long day with them.

4. I frequently cuss and throw my phone down when I can't pass a level on Candy Crush.

5. I really love to sleep. I could sleep 12 hours straight if I didn't have kids.

6. I get sick of reading people's stupid posts on fb. I really don't care if your car didn't start this morning or you passed gas on an elevator and you were so embarrassed. Also, please stop posting every single move you make. Kthanks.

7. I'm starting to enjoy running. I jogged for 20 minutes without stopping yesterday. Thank you, C25K!

Ok, this was a skimmer kind of post. It's ok. I'll still love you. Thanks for visiting.

And just because I can, I'm posting a couple of pics from our Easter photo shoot this weekend:

Now, it's your turn to answer these questions and link it up for TTUT!

TTUT and a Dick

2013-03-19T09:43:00.000-05:00

Hi.

I'm here. I'm late to my own party. It's better than not showing up at all, right? Thanks Shawn for picking up my slack. I love doing TTUT with you.

Remember this house?

We were supposed to buy this house. This was an AMAZINGLY GORGEOUS house. But the economy sucks. And so does some low-life scumbag appraiser named Dick. Ok, that's not his name but it should be. That asshat appraised this house significantly lower than what we offered to pay.

After trying to negotiate with the home owners on a new price, it didn't work out.

I've cried.
I've said really bad cuss words (in my head and in texts)
I've yelled.
I've pouted.
I punched a hole in the wall.

Ok, no I didn't punch a hole in the wall. I think that would hurt my knuckle.

So we MAY be back to the drawing board on looking for another perfect house for us. There is a slight chance that the deal could still go through. I got a call from my realtor last night. We'll see what happens.

In the meantime, say a prayer for my sanity because it's going quickly.

Thanks for linking up with us! Have a great week!

Who Am I?

2013-03-04T21:19:00.000-06:00

Helllo friends! Shawn and I are here to host another edition of TTUT. You guys are so faithful. I know I haven't been around the links the last 2 weeks. I'm hoping to do better this week. I'm being a single momma for a couple of days so bare with me.

We've had some newbies linking up and leaving comments. YAY! We love newbies! I've emailed back and forth with some of you who have wanted to know a little more information about my crazy azz. Soooo, I've created a post JUST FOR YOU and whoever else feels like you want to know me a little bit better. You.Are.Welcome.

Who is Impulsive Addict?

Well, I've been married to a wonderful husband and baby daddy for over 10 years. I'm a wife-in-training, mommy to Emma Kate and Drew Michael, gourmet chef, costume-wearing maid, laundry washer (and dryer), household accountant, daughter, granddaughter, great granddaughter, sister, best friend, teacher, and an Alpha momma to an adorable, well-mannered Beagle named Lexi.

I'm originally from the Tulsa area but moved to Fort Worth to teach for 7 glorious years. Teaching was who I was...and who I hope to be again minus the migraines and over-abundance of paperwork and staff meetings. Or maybe I'll go back to stripping...

Big city life was amazing! And then Smallville, Oklahoma happened on 10-31-08. M, my beloved husband and partner in crime, took a job transfer to get us closer to my family but it came with a small price tag: a town full of swingers and methheads who I'm constantly face-to-face with at the local Walmart. Don't be jealous.

Later this month, we will become residents of a slightly bigger town in Southern Oklahoma. We're hoping it has less methheads and swingers and more "normal people" and some tasty non-chain restaurants. I'll give you a full report when we get settled.

After struggling with infertility for 6 years, you will see me blog about my miracle babies (literally) on occasion but I try not to over-do it as I would not want to be bundled with the mommy blogs...not that I don't love them. I do. Fo real. It's just not me but I will sneak a few updates and pics in there just because I can. And it's my blog. {Lately, I've been in mommy-blogging mode most of the time. I'm working on this.}

I'm passionate about my family and by friends. I will stick up for them and {try} to fight anyone that ever tried to hurt them. They are the foundation for who makes me who I am today and I love each one of them whole-heartedly. FYI: The blogging world has introduced me to TONS of great friends. **SHOUT OUT**

I'm not a rule-follower and I probably never will be. If you demand my attention, you probably won't get it. If you act stuck up, then we will never be friends IRL. I'm opinionated but I am always willing to hear the flip side of any situation.

I love music and I have a very ecliptic range of favorites from rock, to pop, hair bands, hip hop, old school rap, and a tiny bit of country. I listen to my music while I "wog" {walk/jog} around my hood. It just puts me in a good mood!

I have several addictions. My iphone can be a huge problem. Ask EVERYONE. I'm a facebook stalker, a nosey Nelly when it comes to pictures, and an active "liker". Reality TV ~~is the reason for my existence~~ is my favorite pick-me-up. The junkier the better. TLC, "the "LEARNING" channel, will be watched at some time during the day. It makes me feel better about myself. And last, but not least, I love the Captain...as in Morgan. We have a special bond. It's magical.

My posts will hold nothing back even if it means posting my most embarrassing moments including my drunken stupors and late night antics. DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!

There ya have it. Now, tell me something about you and link up your Tuesday post with us! We have NO RULES!

10 Things for TTUT

2013-02-25T21:00:00.000-06:00

Hey there friends (and mom and dad). It's time for another edition of Talk to Us Tuesday hosted by the very tan beach bum, Shawn, and myself. It's where you come to link up your randomness. In today's episode, I'll be linking up with EmmyMom for her 10 Things meme.

My Top 10 Things to Smile About for February

1. WE BOUGHT A NEW HOUSE!

We close in 30 days! I'm excited and nervous. It's a new town with no friends or family close....but it's gotta be better than this swinger/meth head town, right? Well, unless it has a swinger/meth head population also. That would suck.

2. Drew had his first taste of cereal. Of course this Mr. Chunky McChunkerson enjoyed every last drop! No babies were harmed in the making of this photo even though it looks like we're forcing him to eat.

3. Our one and (probably) only snow day for 2013 and it was a good one!

4. I started Couch to 5K again this month and I'm still doing it! It's an app on my phone that helps you build up your running ability. It's a 9 week program that makes "wogging" do-able.

5. This picture.

6. The fact that my almost 4 month old son finally slept through the entire night made me ecstatic! However, the fact that my very full boobs woke me up at 4:00am pissed me right off.

7. Enjoying my lover, Mr. Captain, made me smile this month. I heard that I may have enjoyed him a little too much. BAD BARTENDER! #PumpAndDump

Hello drunk face. Go away crows feet. What's up with my fingers? I need to whiten my teef.

8. I LOVED watching the Bachelor! Who else is a Sean fan? Obviously, I have a thing for blondes. {I never did when I was younger.} Anyway, that crazy B, Tiarra, made it WORTH watching. Did you hear someone actually PROPOSED to her? Poor fella.

HOLY!!!!! *drool*

I'm assuming he's rich? Or that ring is CZ.

9. This quote from Emma made me smile when asked about her feeding Drew: "I can't feed Drew. I'm too little and I don't have any milk!"

10. Playing Candy Crush.
Hello. My name is IA and I'm addicted to yet ANOTHER app that consumes my free time, keeps me up until wee hours of the morning, and makes me want to throw things out of frustration. Boo to my aunt who made me help her with a level.

What made you smile this month? Link up with us, Emmy and/or with our girl, Stacy Uncorked.

Embarrassing Myself for TTUT. Because I Can.

2013-02-18T23:26:00.003-06:00

Is it really Tuesday already? {Or Monday night if you're reading this when I actually post it} The time is flying! I've got more on my plate than I know what to do with and you guys know I like to eat! I'm just glad that Shawn and I do this meme together. I couldn't do it alone.

So, this momma had a little to drink last week. My Valentine took me out to nice dinner followed by some drinks at our favorite bar. The bartender, Chris, over-served me. I should really file a formal complaint! I may have gotten a little lippy and I may have pissed off a girl who probably could have kicked my ass with her 8 inch stripper shoes. I may have told her boyfriend that he "could do better" and he "should experience some other girls". Somehow, she didn't kill me and I'm still here and able to type about it.

Apparently, I sent out some texts that night. One particular person, who's name sounds a lot like JOHN, {or Shawn} asked me to send her a video.

And I did.

Because I'm an idiot.

I should have known it would be used against me. But that's ok. I can make fun of myself too. I'll show you the stupid ass lame video and then you can make fun of me but you CANNOT judge me. Those are the rules.

The drunk look is soooo not pretty. I'm just glad I filmed in the bathroom and not in the bar. That would have been a hot mess of a video.

On Friday night, we had a fancy smancy function to go to for M's company WITH AN OPEN BAR and I was able to show self control by only drinking 2 glasses of wine. See? I can be good when I wanna be.

Do you have any embarrassing videos of yourself?

Link your Tuesday post up with us. We love to read you even if we don't always comment. We'll get better again. PROMISE!

Have a great week~

XOXO,

BIG NEWS for TTUT

2013-02-12T00:02:00.001-06:00

Hey Sweetpeas {that actually read my blog once a week}. How are ya? Are you here to link up with Shawn and myself for TTUT? I hope so. Participation on our link party is down. I WONDER WHY?!? {We kinda suck at hosting lately. We're working on it though. I promise!}.

Soooo...guess what? I bought a house!

Ok, not "I" since "I" doesn't work. How about WE bought a house. Or better yet, I bought a house with M's money! Most of you knew this was happening but in case you didn't know, M got a promotion in another town in Oklahoma. I'm sad to be moving further away from my parents but oh so happy to get out of HELL. Fort Worth friends--I'm a cool 1 hour and 15 mintues away from you!

After picking out 7 houses that we wanted to look at, it was the first one we looked at, my favorite house from the beginning, and the one that we will be moving into in about 45 days. EEEEK!! Thank God M's company has hired movers to pack us up! I will enjoy watching those {hopefully hot} boys do all my packing!

Wanna see a few pictures?

Here she is. Isn't she pretty?

Here is a shot of the formal dining room. I LOVE the red! {Not my furniture}

Here is a small shot of the GINORMOUS fenced in back yard. It even has sprinklers! We MISS having a fence and sprinklers. I told M that a POOL would look perfect right there in the middle but I need to keep working on him. He's not ready to give in just yet.

On to the room that will get the most use: My kitchen.

It has a GAS stove. We've missed that too. I wasn't completely crazy about the dark wood mixed with the white cabinets in the island but it's growing on me.

Never mind the ginormous cock in this picture. Remember, this isn't my furniture. DO YOU SEE THE DOUBLE OVEN? In.Love! And a walk-in pantry! Oh how I've missed having one of those. {See? Living in HELL has been horrible!}

So, that's just a sneak peak. What did ya think? It's a 2 story {the stairs are pretty} and the kids' bedrooms are upstairs. I'm not crazy about that idea but we'll make it work. So, who wants to come help me decorate?

Shawn has graciously accepted my offer to come help me--so get ready SS. You'll be put to work in April when you come for a visit. You'll be paid in booze. And this is only so you'll pee your pants on camera again for me to post on my blog.

Ok, just a few more pics before I sign off for tonight.

Emma is loving on her Lexi. Lexi is begging me for help. Can you see it in her eyes? Poor Lex. Emma is pretty rough with her. She's a good sport.

Emma is gettin' down to Gangnam Style. She's got moves like Jaggar....and she didn't inherit them from me!

Drew has a twin sister! We found her on Friday night at dinner. Look at their IDENTICAL hair! It's the funniest thing.

And finally, this is me with no make-up hence the black and white pic. I'm wogging in the rain. I have started Couch to 5K again {for the 3rd time} and dedication is knowing you should have wogged the day before but instead, got stuck wogging in craptastic weather. But like I said on instagram and fb, cottage cheese doesn't melt off by itself. I've gotta do SOMETHING! I can't meet my new neighbors looking like this! Who would want to be my friend? Everything jiggles. Gross.

So, what's new with you? Do you have a post up? Link it up with us! All the cool kids are doing it. {not really but it sounds good}.

XOXO,

Texting for TTUT. And Cute Pics.

2013-02-04T23:21:00.000-06:00

Hello Darlings! How was your weekend? Some of you attended some WILD Superbowl parties! Did you love the half-time show? I did. I think I just want Beyonce's body. Fav commercials? I like the ones that made me laugh.

Anyway, I'm here for TTUT hosted by the gorgeous yet busy momma, Shawn, and myself. It actually feels good to be blogging today! Maybe I'm gettin' my groove back like Stella did! =)

I'm a texter. Any other fellow texters out there? I'm not huge on phone conversations mainly because I'm a mom of 2 now and it's almost impossible to enjoy an actual telephone call. So as I was thinking about what I would be blogging today {I actually have a list, people!!}, I decided I would share some interesting text messages as of lately.

Here we go.

This would be from the lovely Shawn. Occasionally, she likes to give me sound parental advice which I ALWAYS appreciate. I'm thinking this one may have come from experience. I'm pretty sure there was a daughter that may have walked in to a situation that was rated NC-17. Whoopsie!

And then there's one from the husband who always has MY best interest at heart. I thought I had mastitis. Turns out, it was a little thrush on the ol' nipples (OUCH) and a clogged milk duct.

Occasionally, I talk about M behind his back. This was a text to my cousin.

Can I please start sleeping through the night AND lose this pouch that sits on my belly before we start having this discussion? And seriously, I round up to 40. Shouldn't I stop? I don't wanna die before my kids graduate high school!

Here's one with my momma. I'm glad we have such a close relationship and we can say whatever we please but sometimes, too much info makes me feel queezy. You'll see.

Background info: She texted to tell me how great mixing vinegar and dish soap works to remove 10 years of hair spray from blinds in her bathroom:

Here is a FACEBOOK post from a cousin who I am NOT close to. She's an idiot. And probably a little more white trash than I am.

This girl has a 10 year old daughter who saw this happen. Apparently, he's an abuser and she's an alcoholic (with horrible grammar). He won custody in the divorce. She went to Texas to get back together with the daddy. Guess what? She's still there. She didn't file a police report either. I have no patience for people who stay with their abuser.

And of course I can't leave without posting pictures of my babes. Here is my happy, fat baby after a full tummy:

And my skinny little bratty girl who obviously turned into a tomboy overnight after bringing in a long, thick worm INTO MY HOUSE after digging in the dirt outside. Eww. At least it wasn't a snake.

If you don't have anything better to do, link up with us! I visited almost everyone last week! I'll try to do that again. Thanks for hangin' on to our meme with us. It's been a little rocky lately but we're staying afloat for now. Whew. I may need a life jacket soon....

XOXO,

Hey Look! I'm back!

2013-01-28T21:00:00.000-06:00

Yes. That's right. I'm ACTUALLY blogging today! This means that I actually HAVE an internet connection and that I have a little down time to throw something together....plus my dad won't leave me alone about needing something to read on Tuesday mornings.

In any case, Shawn will be pleasantly surprised that she's not hosting alone again and maybe my readers will forgive me for being gone. Also, maybe she can help me interpret this drunk text I got over the weekend. Shawn? Any thoughts?

So, what's new with you?

I went house shopping in my soon-to-be new town on Saturday. It went ok. We found a house we love. We'll see what happens. My realtor, Fern, who is about 89 years old, will be my first friend. Hopefully she'll help me figure out that crazy town. I wonder if she's a swinger?

I'll tell you a quick funny story before I post a couple of adorable pictures for you to enjoy.

You know how kids are a little too honest, right? So, Emma and I were out doing a little shopping recently, and a sweet little old man pushing a walker came our way. Emma said "hi" {being the social butterfly she is} and he stopped to talk to her for a bit. In the middle of him complimenting her outfit, she proceeds to tell him...

"You fordot to brush yer teef dis morning 'cause yer bref is stinky."

DID SHE JUST SAY THAT? Holy geez. I was mortified. What do ya do?

Do you follow me on instagram or twitter? You should. I post a picture daily. I love picture stalking.

Have you ever seen hair like this? It absolutely won't lay flat. It cracks us up!

Drew and his Nana. LOVE!
Did you use (or do you use) a sleep sack? BEST.INVENTION.EVER. Ok, that may be a stretch, but I'm a big fan.

Ever tried this before? How do you people with more than 2 kids get your kids to pose for pictures? I broke a sweat trying to get one decent picture. I think I took 30 and got one. ONE!!

Will you pretty please link up with us? If you say no, I'll hunt you down and squirt you with breast milk. Eww. Sorry. It's all I could come up with on short notice.

Trying to lose weight? Need motivation? Check out MyFitnessPal. It's free and can be an app on your phone. You can log your weight {which is private} and track your food and fitness and get lots of encouragement from your friends. Find me! Let's motivate each other! Maybe some of my friends on there should have talked me out of dessert on Saturday night. Thanks a lot, jerks.

XOXO,

Adjectives.

2012-12-24T21:00:00.000-06:00

First and foremost:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

and Happy Birthday to my Daddy!

So, do I still have any readers? Holy Hell. I didn't even post last Tuesday. I'm sorry, y'all. I thought I may have been going home to be with Jesus before the Mayan's predicted expiration date of our great Earth. I was SICK. Like 103.5* sick with lots of coughing, nose-blowing and whining. Shawn, thanks for taking the slack for TTUT last week. You know I appreciate it and OWE you.

Dad--thank you for pointing out my non-new-post last Tuesday morning while recuperating on your couch. Who knew you were such a punctual reader? I'll dedicate this whole entire post to you. ;)

Adjectives.

I like them. They tell you how someone may be feeling.

For example--OVERWHELMED.

I am feeling overwhelmed with life in general. I'm struggling as a new mom of 2. I think I need more sleep or girls nights out....or just more daily alcohol consumption. I'm talking to you JennyKate, Mona and Rhonda!!

What happened to my organization?

What happened to having a spotless kitchen before bed each night?

Why is the laundry piled to the ceiling?

Why does my own personal "to do" list grow daily and will it ever end?

Why does it look like I got stoned, drunk, and took a hit of acid right to the eyeball last night every morning when I see my reflection in the mirror? If I'm gonna look the part, at least let me have done one or two of those things. GEEZ.

Do I think this is normal? Of course! I'm just learning to adjust to a new Impulsive Addict. A new type of mom. A new type of wife.

But did I cry big, ugly tears last week when my darling husband told me he received an amazing promotion that will move us 3.5 hours away from my parents? YES. And not tears of joy either.

Can I see a positive in this move? Why yes I can!
(1) I get a bigger house!!
(2) I'm moving out of HELL y'all! See ya later swingin' methheads! (But something tells me this new town may not be much better.)
(3) They have a Taco Bueno (fav fast food) and a Maurices (fav clothing store).
(4) I'm 1.5 hours away from my Fort Worth friends and the DFW airport (which means cheaper airfare for traveling).
(5) The cost of living is slightly cheaper meaning we can get a bigger, better house for around the same price.
(6) Professional movers come and pack for me. HOW SWEET IS THAT DEAL?

Here's another adjective: ANXIOUS.

I'm feeling anxious about the move. I'm picking up and moving to a new town where I don't know ANYBODY. We're moving to a place where we have zero family and no trusted babysitter from our church. We're moving to a place where I know nothing about mommy groups, churches, MDO programs, etc.

But you know what? I know I will be ok. I know that if I needed a friend {or a mom} to come help me even on short notice, they would. That's what friends and family do for each other.

I'll be ok. I'm outgoing. I will survive. Maybe I'll love it there.....

Or maybe I'll be curled up in a fetal position every night rocking back and forth while crying for my mommy. I'll be sure to let you know how it plays out. In the meantime, say a prayer for my sanity. I've lost it and can't seem to find it.

P.S. I've had to resort to counting sheep {LAME} at night so my brain shuts down but they jump too fast for me to count them. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??

I hope that you still love me and will still link up to our link party. I also hope you all had a Merry Christmas or a Happy Hanukah or an Awesome Kwanzaa! =)

A Birthday Princess and a Gangsta

2012-12-10T23:34:00.000-06:00

Hey friends! It's time to "talk" to Shawn and I for Talk To Us Tuesday! Isn't this a crazy busy time of year? It makes me want to drink hot chocolate spiked with liquor while I wrap gifts and bake (and eat) all things fattening...like my azz needs more dimples. But please stop with the Christmas music. It makes me cringe.

There. I said it.
I don't like Christmas music!!

I'm taking a mini vacation in Texas for a few days with the family and blogging from the iPad is not ideal. Yep, I'm flaking out this week. Surely you aren't surprised. I'm the worst weekly blogger EVER.

We celebrated Emma's 3rd birthday on Sunday:

And she was such a BRAT that she received a few ~~beatings~~ swats on her special day....and not the birthday kind either. I also heard on Facebook that 3 is worse than 2. If that's the case, I'm selling her on Craig's List. I'm not even joking.

Yes I am, Mom. No need to text me. ;-)

And I can't sign off without leaving you with a picture of my sweet baby, Drew:

This is his gangsta style pic. Good news: He hasn't received any ~~beatings~~ swats yet. =)

Now it's your turn. Link up with us! I'll try to leave some comment love when I return home! Love and Miss~

The Story of Drew for TTUT

2012-12-03T21:16:00.000-06:00

Hey y'all! I'm back {barely} for another week of TTUT with my co-host, FLASH aka Shawn. That may be her new nickname if she keeps sending me 1/2 nekkid pictures of herself on Snap Chat. Do you have that app? It's so fun!

So, I'm back to tell you a sweet story. I'll be unoriginal and title this one Drew's Birth Story.

WARNING: This is LONG. I repeat THIS POST IS LONG. It's more of a post for me and my kids to read and reflect on later but feel free to skim it. I won't judge you for that. You are welcome!

So, on Sunday, November 4th, shortly after attending church and then an awesome lunch (sans M since he was playing in a golf tournament), I put Emma down for a nap and was enjoying a quiet house with my feet up and a little football on the tv.

I had called my mom to chat for a bit when all of a sudden, I peed myself. It was only slightly. So, I get up, keep chatting with my mom, and go take care of business. When I thought I was finished peeing, I stood up to pull up the ol' undies only to pee on myself again. WTH?

So, I keep talking, not telling my mom that I was peeing on myself. This time, I sit down on the toilet for an excessive amount of minutes to MAKE SURE I wouldn't pee myself again.

But I did.
Just as soon as I stood up.

Very calmly as to not alarm my slightly over-paranoid mom {LOVE YOU MOM}, I tell her I need to call the nurse because I keep pissing myself.

I called my nurse, who has also became a good friend. I tell her my situation. She asked me some questions like (1) Is there blood? No. (2) What does it smell like? Umm...nothing? Ew. (3) When you cough, does it come out? Not really.

She agrees with me. I'm peeing myself. I have lost control of my bladder. GREAT. Awesome. But she decides to call my OBGYN just to see what she thinks since my water broke around the same time with Emma.

My OB says for me to check into the hospital.

SHIZ.

M is golfing. Em is napping. I had myself packed this time around but M and Emma were NOT packed.

I called M.

No answer.

I called his golfing partner.

No answer.

I send him a text about a "possible water leak" and he thinks we have a busted pipe in the house. Boys are stupid. He calls me back when he figured out that my AMNIOTIC SACK may be leaking.

He rushes home. He takes a shower.

I rush into the bathtub to shave my cooch. I was NOT prepared for my OB to see what was growing wildly down below. {TMI? Sorry Dad.} Oh stop. It wasn't HORRIBLE but some grooming was needed.

As I'm shaving, I'm "peeing" uncontrollably. I decide to take a mirror to see if I could tell where it was coming from. I couldn't. ARE YOU JUDGING ME? Hey...I'm an honest girl...

Ok, so we load up and head to meet my parents to do a little trade....my dad gets Emma and Lexi and we get my mom. She missed Emma's delivery by minutes so she wasn't going to miss this one.

As we make the almost 2 hour drive to my hospital, I text my friend from college, Leean, to see if she was working Labor and Delivery that night.

She was. I told her to expect me soon.

As we step out of the car to head inside, I felt a big GUSH.

Niiiiice. I'm soaking wet. Guess I won't be "sitting" in the waiting room.

Check in went great and Leean was expecting me! She did everything but break out the red carpet. It was AWESOME.

I get my IV set up around 8:00pm and then the fun part begins. Leean and I had to take our friendship to the next level. She had to see how far (if any) I was dilated. In short, she fisted me. Well, at least that what it felt like.

I was only dilated to about a 1 but the monitor was showing contractions that I wasn't feeling {yet}.

My OB checks in and tells Leean she wants me delivered by 5:00am. WHAT? You mean, I'm for sure having a baby in the next few hours??

Ohemgee. Here we go again. My baby will have to spend the next 2 weeks in NICU {like Emma}. I was sad but excited to meet my little man!

Pre-Drew

So, around 11:00pm, I could vaguely tell when I was having a contraction. It was my first time to feel them since I was 100% back labor with Emma.

By 2:00am, there was no mistaking the contractions. I was feeling them and trying to do my deep breathing. M and my mom were snoozing....or trying to over my moaning {which I fear probably sounded extremely inappropriate if you know what I mean}. I was dilated to about a 5 at that time.

I asked for a little pain medicine but I held off on the epidural. That medicine made me feel a little drunk. I'm not gonna lie, I kinda liked it. It had been a while, ya know? If he came as quickly as Emma, I started thinking about NOT getting the epidural.

Ok, so speeding up the story a little bit because this is getting ridiculously long, my OB was called at 3:30am. I was a 10. It would take her 15 minutes to get to the hospital. My body kept trying to push. I was so scared my doctor wouldn't make it but she got there and it was GO TIME.

A couple of contractions and a few pushes and my little angel, Drew, was here with a HUGE CONE HEAD! The biggest that I have ever seen!

Aside from the cone head, he was PERFECT. He had TONS of dark hair. I think M started to question me on the "real father" but once he saw him, he knew he looked just like his sister.

Emma on the left and Drew on the right. Why are newborns so ugly??

I felt so blessed to have a son in my arms! And guess what? He was such a trooper that he only lasted 6 hours in NICU before he was released to the "big boy" nursery. YAY YAY YAY!

We got about 1 hour of sleep before visitors arrived. My friend, Jenny, my BFF from Fort Worth, arrived as a surprise. She drove 5 hours to surprise me! I was elated! How awesome was that?? And to top it off, she wasn't receiving my group texts about Drew and the delivery. {It could have been because I was texting her HOME PHONE..duh} so she drove here not knowing if he was here yet, if he was ok...NOTHING.

I was in the room when she birthed 2 of her 3 children. I only wish she had been in there with me also. But her being there was perfect. And I made her stay the night even though she didn't bring anything but the clothes she was wearing.

This is where I'll insert picture overload and some pictures may have already been posted on here. I can't remember. I barely sleep so you know...whatever.

Emma got to meet her "baby brodder" later that day. She LOVED him from the beginning.

"Helping" bottle feed

Look! It's JK!!

Mona, Rhonda, and Markie

She loves to give him kisses

My sweet friend, Leean, who helped deliver Drew.

LOOK AT THAT HAIR!

Heading home

And more kisses.

Lexi had to check him out. She approved.

That is love.

And yesterday {Monday}, this tiny cutie turned 1 month old. ARE YOU SERIOUS? That was quick. I need it to slow down a little bit.

Ok, so what are you talking about today? Link up with us and let us know! =)

A TTUT Post in Pictures...because I'm lazy. And Tired.

2012-11-26T22:00:00.000-06:00

Welcome to TTUT! Shawn and I have been barely skating by lately on our little link up. It's just a very busy time of year but it's also one of my FAVORITE times! Now, if I can just get caught up on my sleep from the last 3 weeks, I'll be ok.

I truly MISS reading you all. I really do read you....at 1:00am, 3:00am, and 5:00am while I'm feeding Drew but it's always from my phone and I HATE leaving comments from my phone so just know I've been stalking you.

I wanted to blog my story of Drew this week {because it's a good one} but I'm too drained and way too busy to sit here in front of this computer for an hour and type it up. I should have started on it a couple of days ago.

So, instead, I'll be taking the lazy way out and just post some of my latest INSTAGRAM pics for your enjoyment pleasure.

First Bath

Sweet, kissable lips!

Because we all need umbrella's when it's not raining...

Just plain gorgeous in her new coat and hat

My lover and a tiny photo bomber

My Packer fans! These jersey's didn't help us win last night though.

Next week, it will be my story on Drew, ok? Oh, and/or my surprise baby shower thrown by Kiss and Slush on Saturday that made me cry big ugly tears {more so because of my outfit choice} and it also involved a hit and run that made me laugh all the way to the surprise bash. I'll explain. Until then, please link up your Tuesday post with us!

LOVE LOVE LOVE your faces! xoxo

A 40th Birthday Bash to Remember for TTUT

2012-11-19T22:48:00.000-06:00

Hey friends! It's me. Yes, I'm surviving mommyhood so far but this functioning on 2 hours of sleep per night business is about to do me in. When will I learn that broccoli causes gas...and not just for me but for Drew too? There is nothing like a crying, farting baby in pain at 2:00am. GAH! It's the first of many proud mommy moments I'm sure.

Anyway, I'm here to type up a quick post for TTUT. My beautiful partner, Shawn, is without an internet connection tonight {but I say she's probably just on a drunken stupor with her BFF because you know that's how she rolls...}. I hope she doesn't pee in Danielle's bed! They're supposed to be "scrapbooking". I'm sure that's code for eating crap food and sippin' on Gin and Juice.

At the end of September, I threw a big 40th Birthday Party party for my girl, Rhonda {aka Kiss} with the help of my girl, JennyKate {aka Slush}. We had a kick azz party and it couldn't have been more perfect thanks to JK's creative brain.

JK had the BRILLIANT idea to set up a "photo booth" with props and everything and here are just a few pics of the catered event:

My baby daddy.

My baby daddy's gay lover.

My sanity.

The amazingly awesome cake.

A few props.

And Baby Drew even made it into a pic.

How sweet!

That's all I have for now. I'm currently typing one-handed while letting Drew suck on my very clean finger until I finish this post so he can eat from my very sore boob. Yeah, I'm awesome like that. Try not to be jealous. Quit judging me.

I miss you all and look forward to reading you soon! xoxoxo

Link your post up!!!

Introducing Drew on TTUT!

2012-11-12T23:19:00.001-06:00

Hey there blogger friends {and blog stalkers!} Guess what??

I HAD A BABY!

Thank you so much to my TTUT partner, Shawn, for helpin' a sister out with publishing a very sweet post for me last week. This time last week, I was resting comfortably in a hospital bed and LOVING on my little man, DREW MICHAEL. The very difficult name choice was made 5 days before he arrived and the middle name was decided as we were driving to the hospital.

You guys, he is soooo sweet! I can't get enough of him! He didn't want to be outdone by his big sister so he felt the need to arrive 5 weeks early also. {And by the way, I totally thought I was peeing myself. It turns out, I wasn't peeing. I was just leaking amniotic fluid.} However, there was no 12 day stay in the NICU this time. We came home on Wednesday and the madness has ensued. Here is a sample of what's going on with me:

*Nursing.
*Pumping.
*Pumping.
*Nursing.
*Awake every 2-3 hours to feed him.
*Emma is super bratty {but loves her baby brother}
*Drew is jaundice and a little underweight. {Recheck next week}
*Father-in-law moved to a hotel so my mom could be here to help me. THANKS MOMMA! xoxo
*Father-in-law still comes over daily.
*Father-in-law came into my room this morning as I was NURSING Drew. GET OUT!!!!
*Mother-in-law flies in Wednesday for 2 weeks so Father-in-law will be moving back in.
*House is a disaster.
*My nipples are sore.
*My hands are chapped from washing them constantly. {Drew is a preemie}
*Did I mention how exhausted I am?

I wouldn't change a thing! I love being a mom of 2. I don't have a lot of computer time as of right now, but I'm sure you understand. I'll leave you with some pics from my iphone. My camera is full of pics that aren't on my computer yet.

My college friend, Leean, who delivered Drew. Isn't that sweet and super cool? She saw all my business! We totally took our friendship to a new level. She's also responsible for dragging me into the blogging world. THANKS LEEAN! Love you!

My Drew. Born with a full head of hair at 5 weeks early. I may have been able to braid it if he showed up on his due date.

My Love. See the hair? LOVE!

Before leaving the hospital. Look how tiny he is!!!

Emma loves him and I love this sweet picture! Guess who copies my EVERY move?? So funny to watch her "pump" and "feed" her babies.

Lexi was checking out her newest sibling. She approves! What a great little Beagle Momma she is!

I promise to tell my entire story in the coming weeks. It's a good one!

Oh...and guess what?

My house will be sparkling clean later today thanks to a sweet lady named Brenda. *insert angels singing here*

What's on your mind today? Tell us by linking up! Have a great week everyone!

PS. Blogger friends are wonderful and very generous. Thank you all for some amazing gifts! Pictures to come later. =)

This family has grown by 2 feet!

2012-11-05T22:14:00.000-06:00

Hey y'all it's Shawn doing a guest post for my sweet friend who is currently resting comfortably with her precious little boy in her arms.

Yep, Baby Boy {BB}, I'll let her reveal his name, made his arrival November 5, 2012, at 3:50am, 5 weeks early. He weighed a whopping 5 pounds 10 ounces and is perfectly healthy. Momma wasn't sure at first if she was peeing herself or if her water had broke, clearly she's not seen me wet my pants as many times as she claims if she had any doubts.

It was a somewhat fast delivery and she did it Wonder-Woman style...no epidural! BB was sent to NICU for observation but did so well that he was released after 8 hours to the regular nursery. If he continues to progress at this rate he'll be going home Wednesday!

Obviously IA will not be around today, and more than likely the rest of the month, but she will undoubtedly have her phone nearby so she'll be able to read your comments. I know she'd love to hear from everyone.

Momma was looking good, ready to meet her son. I'm not sure what's going on with this picture but I assure you she does not have chicken pocks!

Seriously? She does not look like someone who just delivered a baby does she? Let's all hate her for just a minute for that.

He's an adorable little guy with a full head of hair and a big sister who already loves him to pieces.

I must say he is a beautiful baby and I cannot wait to meet him and share an ice cold, double tall, Captain and diet with his Momma!

Congratulation IA, M, and Emma, I am thrilled for you!

~Shawn

Monday Can Suck It.

2012-10-29T22:00:00.000-05:00

Hi friends. Thanks for stopping by and hopefully linking up with Shawn and myself for our weekly Talk To Us Tuesday meme.

I must warn you....I'm in a foul mood.

Do you remember when your momma told you that if you didn't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all?

Well, I'm breaking another rule of my moms. Don't worry. She's used to it.

I have NOTHING nice to say today but I'm still talking about it.

I'm bitter.
I'm angry.
I'm sad.
I'm hurt.

But don't worry. I won't elaborate on any of that. And I won't talk about how our Halloween plans got cancelled because Emma got scarlet fever just hours before heading to Texas or how my live-in father-in-law didn't get home in time for us to join some friends for dinner on Saturday night.

Let's just talk about my Monday, shall we?

It's the day of maternity pictures. YAY, right? The day started off with Emma and I taking a quick shower together. We do this often. No big deal.

But today, Emma slipped and fell and hit her head.

Awesome.

STRIKE ONE.

Then this happened:

That, my friends, would be BRIGHT RED NAIL POLISH all over my bathroom. STRIKE TWO.

And if that wasn't bad enough, some even landed on my bedroom carpet.

The pictures don't do it justice. It has stained my grout y'all. It's on my clothes. It's on my legs. It's on the bottom of my FLIPPING FEET.

I sobbed uncontrollably for 20 minutes. My hands were pink from trying to scrub the polish away. My face was now puffy. I HAD PICTURES IN 2 HOURS!!!

I even took a picture of my puffy cry-baby face like the true blogger that I am. Wanna see it?

Next up, I had to iron our clothes. So, afterwards, I unplugged the iron and told Emma that it was "very hot" and not to touch.

Apparently, she didn't believe me or she's defiant like me. When I left the room, I realized how quiet she got. She's not a quiet kid. I walked into the living room to see her sitting by the couch. She said she "hurt her hand". I looked over to see the IRON laying on my floor.

STRIKE 3.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?

She never even cried. It's blistering up and looking gross. I feel like a failure of a mom at this point.

So we go to take family pictures. Do you think that my 2 year old was cooperative? HELLZ NO. She was horrible! I wanted to cry again. I even had to spank her bum as we looked at our proofs. Perfect. My photographer probably thinks I beat her on a regular basis. So maybe this could be STRIKE 4?

On the way home, I mention to M that I had dinner in the crockpot.

He asked what it was. I told him a simple chicken and rice recipe.

He balked.

I cried. Aaaagain. {pregnancy hormones perhaps?}

He likes red meat. I like chicken. He better just be glad I cook is all I have to say about that. And don't think he doesn't get red meat. HE DOES. Just not every day. {That was NOT meant to sound dirty. I'm not in a dirty mood today.}

So, this whole day just blows. I will say that M fixed the carpet stains and thinks he can fix the grout too. That's a positive, right?

And, here is my beautiful brat of a daughter posing before our pictures:

And last but not least, here is one of my favorite pictures from today. It was pinterest-inspired.

There.

I tried to end on a positive note. If you hung on and read this entire blog post, I applaud you. I'm not sure that I feel any better but I will.

What are you talking about today? Link up and tell us!

Emmy--you know your 10 Things meme is one of my favorites and I'm very sad that I didn't realize it before I typed this post up. =(

Embracing the Embarrassment for TTUT.

2012-10-22T22:00:00.000-05:00

Hey friends! I DID NOT forget about the link party SS and I have going on this week! That's huge!

I've been dealing with lots of snot and boogers as of lately {mine AND Emma's} so I'm choosing to re-tell a story that still makes me laugh at the memory...

All was quiet in my classroom. My sweet little 4th graders were reading a chapter in their library books. I was calling each student back to my desk to review a recent Math assessment. While we reviewed answers together, I would stop and make eye contact and have them repeat things back to me to make sure they understood their mistake. A few of the students had tried to tell me something by starting the sentence with "Mrs. Impulsive?" but I feared it was a story that would take several minutes so I refocused them on our topic at hand.

After all students had been called back to my desk, it was coming up on lunch time. I talked to them briefly about what was coming up later in the day, had them line up, and out the door we went to wash up.

While I waited on my precious babies to take care of bathroom business, I talked to a few teachers scurrying around the halls during their planning period. I also spent several minutes talking to a parent who was there to eat lunch with her daughter.

After walking my lovies into the cafeteria, I went into the office and mentioned something to our Vice Principal. He had a puzzled look on his face. I thought maybe he had some gas so I hurried out of his office so he could let one rip. <--That's what boys do, right?

I made some copies, talked to a few of the new teachers, popped my lunch into the microwave and went to take a much needed potty break. As I'm washing my hands, I look up to check my make up and lipstick and do you know what I see?

THE BIGGEST UGLIEST GREENEST BOOGER YOU HAVE EVER SEEN HANGING OUT OF SOMEONES NOSE!

I was completely and utterly mortified!! I started remembering how many people I had talked to, the confused looks on people's faces, and how my students were probably trying to tell me that I had a massive boog hanging out of my nose and I kept cutting them off! *IDIOT*

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Which brings me to a question: Why is it so hard to tell someone (who is not a family member or bff) that they have a bat in the bat cave?

This is just another embarrassing moment in the life of IA. There are so many more stories where this came from. I just don't always like to relive them. But for you, my darling friends, I just might.

You're welcome.

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