Confessions of a basketcase.

Another update on my father.

2012-01-28T00:22:00.002-05:00

I got a call earlier this evening from my mother. I don't know what changed his mind, but he decided to go on the IV. Maybe it was the effects of dehydration. Maybe it was that he was not getting the results or reaction he was looking for. I don't know. I have heard from several rather reliable sources that growing up he was one of those kids that would hold his breath until he got his way or passed out.

Well at least he is on his way to getting better.

An update on my father's condition.

2012-01-27T00:11:00.001-05:00

He went from getting better in the hospital to going back to the nursing home and getting worse. Part of it I believe may be the nursing home's fault. They have him on a lot of medications and I'm not sure if what they have him on is right. The last time he was in the hospital, the doctors took him off everything the nursing home had him on because according to them the nursing home was pretty much killing him. Hard to say if that is the case this time. His lab work is getting worse, his kidneys are back to failing and he is refusing food and drink. They want to put an IV in him to give him fluids. He is refusing. He is refusing because my mother wants him to have it. That's what he said. I visited him today. Part to be supportive to my mom. Part to talk some sense in to him. Part to make some level of peace with him. He didn't want to see me. He didn't want to talk to me.

We can't get him out of the nursing home that he is in because he refuses to go anywhere else. We can't get him to go to a hospital because he refuses that. About all we can do is wait. Wait for him to die or become delirious to the point where he can no longer be considered to have sound mind. That is how we got him to the hospital last time. Actually, that has happened a few times with him.

I don't get how someone can be so stubborn, spiteful and mentally abusive all the way up to the end. I can understand his attitude toward me. I'm not the "Mini-Me" that he wanted, I'm my own individual. But the attitude he takes up with my mom is completely out of line.

Those Damned Fundies and the Damned Things They Say

2012-01-23T23:44:00.001-05:00

I wasn't quite sure how to submit this one to FSTDT as it is more graphical than text, but that doesn't stop me from posting it here.

This comes courtesy of TheologyOnline, you can view the thread here. I think the old tree fort, aside from lacking in anything that comes close resembling a sense of humour, is reading way too much in to this. I just can't see how someone could get grossed out about that. I can see a radical feminist getting offended by it, but not grossed out. I just don't get it. Of course I also don't get why an individual that is so offended by homosexuals even bothers to so much as peep in a thread about them. I just don't get fundies.

BTW, if you ever wanted to know the answer to the question, here is a good one -

So I have Rattlers in my stomach

2011-12-31T02:36:00.000-05:00

Wonder if anyone reading this caught the Farscape reference.

It's weird, what's going through my mind right now. I can't really stop thinking abut it. By morning, regardless of the outcome it will be a weight lifted off me. Either things will be changed at my work or I will change jobs. I don't know why I'm stressing, but I am. Never really been in a position quite like this. I've been in positions where it was likely, but not definite.

I will tell my manager things need to change. I will say that I have found another place to do my paperwork. The note where she told the audit to do that is what prompted this. It pushed me over the edge. The new procedure of the audit having to sort and organise the days paperwork has only left me with the impression that they cannot be bothered to do it right. Just like they cannot be bothered to come to work on time. I don't mind having do more work. It keeps me busy. However, it needs to have a purpose. It needs to accomplish something.

Good Gnus, Bad Gnus

2011-12-30T08:36:00.001-05:00

Yeah, so I grew up watching The Great Space Coaster, so fucking what?

Good News -

I have been interviewing lately and I have an offer on the table. The person making this offer has strongly suggested that I have a talk with my boss and try to get things fixed so I don't feel like I have to quit. They have a point really. I have been back there nearly 3 years now and to have to leave in anger and start over somewhere else would be a bit ridiculous. My wants are simple. I want things to go back to the way they used to be with the exception of everyone doing their job correctly. I should not have to spend an hour sorting and organising paperwork that previously would have been handled by the day shift. Having me do it does nothing more than consume my time and piss me off. Truthfully, I might actually be OK with it if I could see that it served a purpose or solved a problem. I still have the same problem I had before this became the new procedure. I'm still missing receipts. I'm still missing folios. I'm still having to pluck reg cards from the bucket. Now I start off with a drawer that contains all the days paperwork, including things like the emergency down time reports that previously were shredded. This drawer looks like a waste paper bin by the time I get to it. I have more to sort and organise and I have been told I need to find a new place to do such. The back counter seems to be for, well as far as I can tell, what ever the day shift wants to do with it. All this in addition to having to put up with a day crew that habitually comes to work late, including the boss. I like the overtime, I don't like how I get it. Then there is the computers who have taken more than their fair share of abuse from the internet habits of the desk clerks. I hacked the hosts file to keep them off the social networking at the request of my boss, this has since been undone. Not to mention the number of times I have walked in to them doing what pretty much amounts to goofing off. Yeah, I do that too. But all my work is done, done correctly even, and my responsibilities are not getting shafted on to anyone else.

Am I wrong in wanting to leave? Am I wrong in wanting things fixed? Do I have every right and reason to be pissed? If I can't get things straightened out, I have somewhere to go now. I know people I work with read my blog. Maybe this is getting talked about. Maybe this is getting passed around. Maybe my boss is being forewarned. Maybe certain rather worthless members of the day shift are getting a bit unnerved. They are not all worthless, just some of them. The real point to this is that I am mad as hell and in one manner or another I will not be taking it any more.

Bad News

My dad has been in a rehab centre since mid November. He went in because he could not get out of bed. He didn't have the strength. He went in to get physical therapy to get stronger. Then he pretty much refused the therapy. Recently I have heard through my mother that his kidneys are failing. He needs to go on dialysis. When I first heard of this I thought it was worse. Don't get me wrong, it's bad, but not quite what my mom and I initially thought it was. Right now he is in a hospital. His condition has improved, he went in delirious. Toxics building up in your body will do that. Not sure what happens from here. My mom has been on dialysis for the past 19 years, but my dad is 74, has a whole load of other problems, and said previously that he wouldn't go on dialysis. Obviously he changed his mind, but he could go back on it. Aside from that, no idea how long he is going to last.

Christopher Hitchens

2011-12-17T01:57:00.000-05:00

Like many others, at least those I subscribe to on youtube and look up to, those that put things that are on my mind so much more eloquently than I can, I'm at a loss for what to say. Humanity has lost a great man and a great mind. I don't think the loss really can be described in anything I can say. I will just leave it at this -

Good show, Sir, and thank you.

I do have to get one thing off my chest, the level and amount of dancing on his grave, in the figurative sense of course, I'm seeing from the religious fundamentalists is shameful at best. I'm not shocked or surprised by it. I'm not saying they should not say it or that it should be silenced. I feel it serves as a reminder of what those persons making such statements are really like.

Black Friday 2011

2011-11-25T23:44:00.000-05:00

And I didn't buy anything new. Honestly none of the sales at the local stores looked worth the crowds or even had sales on anything that my girlfriend or I really wanted. I did end up going to the local K-Mart to pick up some cat food. Looked around while we were there. No good deals on either a TV or an Xbox. Or games for that matter. I'll be looking for sales on those as it gets closer to Gift-mas. Also checking for a good “Cyber Monday” deal as well.

I want to get a second Xbox/TV for the home so we can do some system link foolishness and so I can get a copy of Zumba and a Kinect to help stop being so fat. After this past Thanksgiving I need it.

I know “Small Business Saturday” is next but there's not much still around here in the way of small business. What day is for empty and abandoned store fronts?

I has Skyrim

2011-11-14T19:57:00.000-05:00

I'd like to thank my co-workers who can't seem to make it to work on time for all the hours of overtime I have been working. Without it, this and my upcoming purchase of Saint's Row the Third would not have been possible. And thank you for not putting a crib in a room when a guest called ahead and requested it. The “crib” and “do not move” notes on the reservation had me thinking you had actually not totally dropped the ball. Nice touch. But it's cool, I needed the exercise.

On with some Skyrim videos that I recorded.

Yeah I suck and FRAPS makes the game look a lot more laggy than it is. So far it's a lot of fun. And stabbing things always helps me relieve frustrations. I think I need that RAM upgrade that I always wanted. Being on a laptop that shares system and video memory, that should make games and recording of said games go a lot smoother.

Happy Halloween Bitches!

2011-10-31T23:19:00.000-04:00

I don't know who belongs to that ass, I stole it from a friend on Google+ who stole it from somewhere else. But I must admit, I'm having ass envy.

So I'm working at the hotel this Halloween, but it's by choice this time. Not much local I wanted to do tonight and going to Halloween events on night that are not Halloween is just weird. In addition a lot of stuff was going on like 2 weeks ago, WTF?

Wanna help me out? Know anything about DVD recorders?

2011-10-27T13:34:00.000-04:00

Got a Toshiba D-VR660 that does not eject or play a dvd. I seem to be locked out of quite a few other functions as well, seems all I can do is change channels. Worse yet, it's my mother's VCR/DVD recorder, she's lost the manual, and all she wants to do is button mash. She's taken the remote away from me twice to do more button mashing. It there some means of just completely resetting this machine back to the day it was new?

Story bit

2011-10-24T06:45:00.000-04:00

Something that popped in to my head tonight. Might spin something off of it, might not. Thought I'd throw it out there.

When we first saw them we gawked in amazement. For so long we had speculated and theorized about life on other planets and here it was, right before us. Did they know we were watching them? Were they watching us? In some ways they were like us, in many ways so different.

We knew when we went public with our findings we would be met with accusations of a hoax and conspiracy theories. This didn't stop us and the stories that cropped up were more bizarre than anything we had imagined. The outrage and violence that ensued from those distraught over the universe not being what they believed it to be was not expected. It was enough to make us think that we should have kept it to ourselves.

Diabetic or not, you are still a moron.

2011-10-03T01:17:00.000-04:00

Normally late night calls that involve requests for food are so common that are not worth talking about, but this one is kinda special.

So I get a call from this room at about 2:30 am and it's a girl asking for room service. I tell her that it closed at 10 pm. She lets out a big dramatic “uh” like a spoiled brat then asks about restaurants that deliver. Twice I have to tell her no and that those all close at 1 am. After another bigger and more dramatic “uh,” she whines “What's up with this town? Everything closes early!” I tell her it is a small beach town that is mostly populated with retirees that go to bed early. I guess that was not good enough for her. She goes in to a huge hissyfit about how she is diabetic and she needs food because she just took her insulin and might die. Normally, I'm a bit more sympathetic, but really, what was she expecting, a 7 course meal to be pulled out of the air? Besides, I think I'm being bullshitted. I keep my rather high level of annoyance in and tell her of what is open, none of which delivers and the closest of which is about a mile and a half away. She dramatically whines that she will call a cab and that she hopes it arrives before she dies. I told her I was sorry about that, wished her good luck, and hung up the phone.

I don't know what transpired from there and honestly I don't give a flying fuck. I look at it this way – If she really is diabetic, then she's an idiot for not keeping a supply of food with her. I know quite a few diabetics. I also have been working in hotels for a long time. I can't tell you how many times someone that is diabetic has requested a room with a fridge. Even if she didn't, trying to guilt trip me with her diabetes is asinine and in this case fucking stupid. Seriously. A cab is pretty likely not to take longer than the delivery she was looking for. And it's not my fault everything in this town closes early. Holy shit, it's your health, your body, take some fucking responsibility for it.

And if she was not diabetic, well that's pretty fucked up too. What was she thinking? Was I supposed to make a food run just for her? Was I supposed to open up the restaurant just for her? Was I supposed to make the local Domino's open up just for her? Was she thinking that telling me she was diabetic was going to change anything? I've actually dealt with people that were diabetic that arrived late, as opposed to her having been there 2 days, and were in the same situation. They were not whining that they were going to die nor were they having any sort of a fit over having to drive or take a cab to a store or a restaurant.

But I do understand, it's all totally my fault.

Great start to a night at work

2011-09-30T23:55:00.000-04:00

Guest: Do I get a refund?

Me: No, you are being evicted, I can't issue you a refund.

Guest: Well I'm not doing business with this hotel any more.

Me: OK.

Because, of course, when you are being evicted it really means they want you back.

My shift just started and already I'm craving alcohol and simulated violence.

And as I was typing this I had to deal with another noise complaint.

And on my way back, some very rude and stupid people.

I hate damn near everyone.

Well I'm in for a hell of a night

2011-09-19T00:51:00.001-04:00

I filled a sports bottle with iced green tea, then forgot it at home on my hike to the bus terminal.

Then when I got to work tonight I found that I had left the power adapter to my laptop at home. No gaming for me tonight. It's OK, the fine folks that work the desk during the day made a wonderful mess of the paperwork. That will keep me busy for a while.

What really pisses me off is that I have scripts accumulating in my notebook for youtube videos I still have yet to FRAPS game footage.

So right now...

2011-09-17T22:34:00.000-04:00

Right fucking now.

Right fucking now I should be walking in the door at work, but instead PSTA has fucked up again. Were am I right now? I'm at the terminal waiting for the next bus. I'm going to be late for work. the bus that brought me here was 17 minutes late. FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!!!

FUCK YOU PSTA.

Random Update: Dope and Change Edition

2011-09-13T01:29:00.000-04:00

Dragon*Con.....

.....Sucked for me and the miss this time around. I made a youtube vid about it. It's on my channel. You should watch it. I'm not totally soured on Dragon*Con though. In fact, I'm already planning for next year. I want it to be better.I'm going to make a video about those plans.

It's that time again...

...Where I have become frustrated with my current paycheck provider and have started actively seeking a new one. Already got one place scoped out for an application, looking for more. If anyone knows of a hotel that is looking for an auditor, please let me know. Particularly if they have a location in Downtown Atlanta and offers employee discounts.

I'm going to attempt....

.... The Couch to 5K program. then maybe I can stop being so fat. I'll take pics and post the progress. It will be awesome.

Can someone recommend...

...A good bicycle tire that does not puncture so easy? Seriously! I'm always having to replace or patch a tube like every other time I ride it to work. It's actually costing me more to bike than bus.

Random Ramblings: DragonCon is when?!?!? Edition

2011-08-28T00:20:00.001-04:00

Only a few days left.

I think I'm ready. I'm not really ready. I'm doing shit at the last minute like I always do. At least the rental car, hotel room, and tickets are all taken care of. New corsets hopefully will be in before I go.

I should update this blog more often.

No I shouldn't. Well really I should. I have a youtube channel with videos on it that might be worth checking out. Been putting more time in to that. Maybe that can be more profitable than this. Fuck it, I'm just doing as a damn well please with it.

So after the Con...

I was considering looking for a new job. Then I thought maybe not. But maybe I will.

And also after the Con...

My fat ass is so hitting the gym. Every fucking day. I have put on way too much weight as of late.

I think I need a new social network.

Facebook seems to be overrun with ads as of late. Google+ doesn't like my name. What's a weirdo to do?

Random Ramblings: So I was riding my bike,,,

2011-08-05T16:58:00.000-04:00

Why the fuck did you point it out to me?

So yesterday I was riding my bike to my mom's house and this guy on the sidewalk says to me, "The bus is coming."

So I said "So."
Then he says, "Fuck you!"
Then I said, "Fuck you too, buddy! And have a nice day!"

Really, why the fuck was it so important to this guy to point out to someone speeding down the side walk on a bike that the bus was coming? I mean holy shit, if I wanted the bus, I would have been waiting at the stop.

There will be rape. Or prostitution.

So later on in the day I had to pick up some things from Target. On the way back, I see the girl, carrying a dog and wearing a skin tight top, a really short denim skirt and a pair of about 5" heels. She shouted at a couple of guys in the near by Perkins parking lot, "Hey! If I pay you will you give me a ride?" These guys were in the standard issue douchebag uniform, complete with popped collar. All I could think was "Dumb bitch. Whether it was your plan or not, you will pay with every hole in your body and possibly your dog too."

Is it just me or is she really that annoying?

The lady in the Progressive Insurance commercials. She just gets more annoying and unfunny with every commercial. I'm not getting Progressive Insurance ever.

I'm going to be rich.

Diablo 3 will include a cash auction shop. My goal is to sell enough stuff to idiots that I can afford to quit my job. Of course when the gravy train runs out, I have no clue what I am going to put on my resume.

Fun Fundie Quote of the day.

On the Burning Man -

Know what be hilarious?
if SAC bombers on a training mission flew off course and carpet bombed the whole festival into oblivion.
You know their be some smelly hippy-tards in a stolen tent 20 miles away thinking "best Burning Man, ever." after witnessing the destruction.

Is that what Jesus would do?

So today is...

My mother's 60th birthday. So anyone that knows her should call her or something is you have not yet.

Random Ramblings: Seriously WTF?

2011-07-28T20:15:00.000-04:00

Cheap Home Depot Outdoor Safety Goggles > Cheap Wal-Mart Sunglasses

They are, and they are cheaper too. I found my pair of cheap Wal-Mart sunglasses broken today. Less than a week old. Broke in a weird place too and I'm not sure how. Usually I just get outdoors safety glasses from Home Depot and now I'm reminded why.

You want my bag? I want your wallet.

Or some collateral. I ride a bike. I keep everything in my backpack. Things I've purchased. Things I'm taking from one place to another. Things that would normally go in my pockets. Things I need to fix my bike. Things I can't leave home without. With all those things inside, I'm not about to just hand it over to some store clerk. So I demand something of theirs, preferably a wallet. They never want to go for it. So I go somewhere else.

I'm going to try another experiment.

Not with Eve Online, but with TheologyOnline.com this time. I'm just coming back from a ban and I want to see how long before people that are offended by my "immoral, perverted, lifestyle" start talking about my "immoral, perverted, lifestyle." This should be fun!

You know what's difficult?

Typing a blog while a kitten is running around all over your laptop. And batting at the mouse. And pawing at you. And biting.

For the Record

Riding a bicycle in the rain sucks.

On the road to DragonCon.

Well, not yet, but soon. Hotel, passes, and rental car are all paid for. New corsets on the way too.

Which begs the question-

How much weight can I lose in a month?

I'm pissed

2011-07-21T14:31:00.000-04:00

I'm pissed because once again I have to replace a tire tube on my bicycle. I just replaced one a few days ago.

I'm pissed because right now it's raining. The one day I have to do work at my parents' house. Long list of shit to do, all of it outside, and it's fucking raining.

I'm pissed because a few weeks ago I had to take a cab to work and after I complained to the bus company, all I got out of it was 2 day passes. I spent fucking twenty fucking dollars to get to fucking work that night and all they would compensate me with was 2 fucking day passes! Day passes cost $4.50. WTF????

I'm pissed because when I was taking the bus to my mom's place, the driver passed my stop, making me have to walk an extra block. I didn't even get an "I'm sorry" or even a "May bad" out of him.

I'm pissed, and I want to hurt somebody.

Updates and diarrhoea of the mouth

2011-07-18T02:52:00.000-04:00

FUCK!!!!

I just wanted to start off with that. So at the beginning of my shift at work tonight I took a call from someone who just wanted to bitch about the hotel where I work using a central reservation service that was in a 3rd world country. Funny, I thought it was in South Carolina, but what ever. I couldn't really get any word in with her. It was kinda like Thundrf00t talking to people from WBC, but incredibly less intelligent. Look I'm sorry that you talked to someone that had an accent. Actually, I'm not. I don't give a flying fuck. And calling me just to bitch gets nothing resolved and gets you mocked in my blog.

And now that I have started by bitching about my job, I'll bitch a little more. How hard is it, for instance, to put a copy of a receipt for a Visa payment in a box labelled Visa? So sick of finding receipts in the wrong place. I mean really, don't these people know that doing this takes time away from playing video games, writing blogs and making youtube videos? Bad enough the guests bother me all night.

Seen my Youtube channel? I'll make more vids. I'll even make vids that do not involve Eve Online, I promise. I want to get a vid capture card and editing software. Then I can make better vids and take them off the Xbox. You can watch me epic fail at games other people are good at.

So I'm thinking - Take a colour wheel, throw 4 darts at it, get hair dye to match those colours, divide my hair into 4 not quite even sections, dye each section a different colour. I think the results could be pretty epic. Considering how badly I suck at darts, it's almost a given that the colours will be random.

The last Harry Potter movie has been released. This is the last one, right? I'm not a fan.

I need to ride my bike more. And work out more.

What am I going to do with my life?

2011-07-13T19:29:00.000-04:00

I rambled a bit about it in a youtube vid while playing Eve.

I don't have an answer. My girlfriend pointed out out me how giddy I get on days that I teach. Maybe that's the answer.

Christians - How do you live with yourselves?

2011-07-10T02:09:00.000-04:00

That was the question on my mind after watching the reactions of Grappling Ignorance and Proportional Response to the Jesus Camp documentary. How do these people live with themselves? Not Grappling Ignorance and Proportional Response, the people that run this Jesus camp and others like them, and the parents that send their kids to such camps. Take a look at their videos.

After watching the videos, I was disturbed and rather curious. Could it be as bad as they made it out to be? So I looked. I watched the documentary. The first thing I picked up on was that it was Pentecostals doing all the things that Pentecostals do – the big show, the singing and dancing, the speaking in tongues, the fake seizures and the people “getting full of the holy spirit”. Now I have to say, when it's adults, I have to laugh. It's a display of P.T. Barnum being proved right. They do their big act. They slap some guy in a wheelchair on the head, he has a seizure, he gets up and dances, and then it's all "Thank you Jesus!" and "Praise the Lord!" At the end of it all they parted a bunch of people too stupid to know better from their money, and that is their problem. It's different when it is kids. Not just that they do not know any better, but because they put all their trust in to their parents and those their parents trust with them. For religious charlatans to parade their show in front of children and brand it as real and as the truth, it's just wrong. It's not much better to do it in front of adults, but like I said, adults should know better.

There's more to it than just the show. It's like Grappling Ignorance said, they are totally brain washing these kids. This goes well beyond the indoctrination that many Christian Fundamentalists claim happens in public schools. Worse yet these kids are spoon fed lies that are branded as truth. I'm not talking about anything from the Bible. I'm talking about what they say about non-believers and public school teachers. And it's not just the Pentecostals that are guilty of that, I see member of other denominations spouting the same lies to their children. This is akin to the lies that KKK members spoon feed their children about blacks and Jews.

I've heard a few claim that where ever they send their children to be educated, they will be indoctrinated, therefore they want them to be indoctrinated in their ways. Even if that were true, if you have to indoctrinate it in to them, especially at a young age, does that not tell you what kind of a heap of bullshit you are forcing on them?

In the end of it all, I still have to ask, how do you live with yourself?

What have I been doing that does not involve video games?

2011-07-09T02:51:00.001-04:00

Glad you asked, because you know you wanted to.

Last Friday I gave a home to a kitten my friends rescued. We named her Tali, after the Quarian in Mass Effect. She's totally cute.

For a holiday weekend, it was pretty light at my work during my shift. Until the 4th rolled around and I was by myself with an unstocked supply cabinet. Got a workout that night.

Aside from the madness at work, my 4th of July was pretty uneventful. Did see some nice fireworks on my ride in to work though.

Got stopped by the police while walking to the Wal-Mart with Kathy. There were some robberies in the area and being out late at night and walking with a backpack was reason enough for the police to investigate. It's not like we are strange looking people acting strange or anything. Contrary to popular assumption.

Why is it that hotel guests always nag me right when I'm about to submit the credit card deposit or start the audit? These things have specific times when I am to do them. And why to they always assume they caught me in the middle of something non-productive?

It's probly bad that I refer to hotel guests as nagging, isn't it?

Some days I just want to say "FUCK IT!" and dye my hair a bright unnatural colour.With each day I give less of a fuck when management or customer has to say about it.

I really detest when I have something to do and it gets totally held up by someone. Especially when it is happening right fucking now.

Attn anyone at CCP that actually gives a shit:

2011-07-08T09:54:00.001-04:00

I didn't come here to play dress up. If I wanted to piss away real money on virtual clothes, I'll get an account on Second Life.

I came for the spaceships. I came for the epic fleet battles. For the combat.

Get your priorities straight and quit breaking my favourite game.

http://www.eveonline.com/devblog.asp?a=blog&bid=936