Confessions of a Confused Christian

Whatever you did to the least of these

2020-05-10T09:02:00.002-05:00

I was hungry and you formed committees.

I was thirsty and you preached sermons.

I was naked and you said, “That’ not in the budget.”

I was sick and you sang another chorus while internally debating traditional verse contemporary style of worship.

I was lonely and you rushed to the restaurant to get the best booth.

I was in prison an you held another congregational meeting.

I tell you the truth: whatever you did to the least of these, you did unto me.

Morning Joy: When Will Morning Come?

2015-02-19T18:06:00.001-06:00

I determined long ago to name this blog Confessions of a Confused Christian. However, as I recently went back over many of the posts, I realized there was not a lot of confessing or confusion. Every post seemed to always resolve itself into total assurance. It seemed as though there was no real faith struggle that every i was always dotted and every t was always crossed. I admit that some of the reasoning is because I switched my primary means of communication from this blog over to Facebook. However, even there, I could see that most posts talk about how great my faith is and an outsider may think my faith does not waver.

So, here I am pondering this moment of how deep to go; how much to share. It is difficult to use written words as a form of communication because it is impossible to sense the tone and emotion behind the words. However, since the blog has the words confused and confess in it, I feel it is only appropriate to confess my confusion. Sometimes I really struggle in my faith. I struggle in my relationship with God. I often do not see relevance in the church. When I read the Bible, I am often confused. I read of a church in the first century that seemed so honest, so real yet I see much of the church today being so superficial. I see people in the New Testament fighting for what they stand for, and I see so many Christians today fighting about what they are against. We rally and protest and get loud and rarely love, I mean truly love. We are well known for what we are against, but rarely show what we are for. That confuses me. Am I supposed to stand in a line and picket the abortion clinic, or am I to present a cup of water to a hurt woman who just made the decision to abort the baby? Which would Jesus do? If I show love to her am I now saying I support abortion? Must I yell and spit so I can prove I am a Christian or was Jesus actually telling the truth when he said they will know we are Christians by our love?

The truth is I am often confused. I have been hurt. I have felt abandoned and betrayed. I have been hurt by the church. I have bought the lie that I had to be against all the things I am supposed to be against and somewhere along the way I have forgotten what I am supposed to be for. I have often tried to please church people and in the process have found myself drifting further and further away from who God has truly called me to be. I have been hurt by the church. I have been hurt to the point that it is often difficult to differentiate if it is people or God who is hurting me. Why must it be so difficult?

One of my favorite verses has been Psalm 30:5 which declares, “For his anger lasts only a moment,but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” What a comforting thought to know that joy comes in the morning. However, sometimes it seems that morning will never come. I often identify with the poet Emily Dickinson who penned these words:

Will there really be a “Morning”?
Is there such a thing as “Day”?
Could I see it from the mountains
If I were as tall as they?

Has it feet like Water lilies?
Has it feathers like a Bird?
Is it brought from famous countries
Of which I have never heard?

Oh some Scholar! Oh some Sailor!
Oh some Wise Men from the skies!
Please to tell a little Pilgrim
Where the place called “Morning” lies!

Will morning joy ever come? Or will we just remain in tears of mourning? Will joy find it’s way into our lives, or are we destined to lie in constant wait? I confess that God confuses me and His word sometimes troubles more than it comforts. There are times in our lives when it hurts so much we just can’t see the joy coming. We feel the pain and experience the darkness which seeks to consume us. So we wait. We sit in the dark of night waiting for the morning joy to come. We long to feel anything other than the current hell we are experiencing. We look to God, even in the midst of what seems like His silence and we wait. We hope. We look toward that morning light which will bring the joy. However, in the meantime, we wait and search for the place where morning lies.

Power & Hope: Lessons Learned From the Africa Children's Choir

2015-02-07T07:55:00.000-06:00

Last night, my family went to see the African Children’s Choir. This was about the third time we have seen this choir perform and each time has been amazing. Last night was no exception. The group of children made the entrance with shouts of jubilation as they danced on the stage. The enthusiasm and power they showed were quite impressive. We clapped and cheered and sang along as they performed their songs and dances.

One of the most touching moments for me personally took place a little over half way through the evening. The children came out one at a time saying their name and what they wanted to be when they were older. I loved hearing about their dreams of being pilots, police officers, teachers, bankers, and pastors. I thought about what life must have been like for them early on. Most came from a home with at least one parent deceased or not present for whatever reason. Many had no running water, no substantial source of income. They all came from poverty. These children had seen and experienced more heartache in their young lives than most people experience in a lifetime. They could easily have the mindset that they have no real future. We may look at people of similar circumstance and have little hope they will become anything significant. Yet, they had the dream and vision and hope of becoming the best they could. They refused to buy the lie that they were insignificant. They refused to let their dreams die. They desire to beat the odds and become someone of great significance.

The true reality is they are already significant. They were created in the image of God. They were deemed worthy of the blood of Jesus as he died to give them hope and a future that far exceeds anything they could ever even dream. The stage presence of these children possessed such power that you believed they would become all those things they said they wanted to be. Yet that fails in comparison to the awesome power of our Lord working in the lives of people. His power is available to all. He is the source of all power and all hope. As the children sang He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands, I could not help but recognize how true that really is. He holds it all together. The stars, the land, the sea are all held together by Him. Mankind finds hope in Him. He’s got the homeless in His hands. He’s got the widow in His hands. He’s got the child walking 45 minutes for water to do laundry in His hands. He loves the fatherless. He loves the single mother struggling to love and care for her kids and pay the bills. He loves the dad who works long hours to provide the best way he knows how. God loves the athletic and the uncoordinated. He loves the educated and uneducated. God loves the prostitute and the nun. He loves the rich and the poor. He loves you and me. He’s got the whole world in His hands. Therefore we can dream. We can hope. We have a future. We have love and acceptance no matter what this world throws at us. We have God, therefore we have all we need.

God's Dream team

2012-08-12T20:44:00.001-05:00

The closing ceremony of the 2012 Olympics takes place tonight. I always enjoy watching the Olympic events. I like the stories and the athleticism that a part of the games. One of the stories this year was in the arena of basketball. Kobe Bryant made an implication that the current USA basketball team could beat the original dream team of 1992. Sports radio and newspaper articles immediately debating. Could basketball players such as Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, and Lebron James beat guys like Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, David Robinson, and Larry Bird? I heard arguments both ways, but most seemed to agree that the edge would belong to the 1992 team.

In listening to people discuss the strengths and weaknesses of both groups, my mind began to wander and wonder. What if God were to assemble His dream team? What would that look like? There would be brave men and women who would obviously be chosen first, right? You would have to include a man like Abraham so faithful and trusting that he would pack up his family and leave even when he had no clue where God would lead him. You would probably include Noah who stayed faithful when all others turned away. he built a boat when he had never seen rain. You would probably include a guy like Moses who stood fearlessly before Pharaoh and demanded him to let God's people go. What about David who fought a giant and killed him? He would have to be included. What about Peter who stood fearlessly stating that he would obey God rather than man, whatever the cost may be? He would have to be on God's dream team. Who could possibly forget Paul who was beaten and left for dead because he preached the gospel, yet he still fulfilled his mission. He definitely needs to be on God's dream team.

All these men may make you and feel as though we have no place on God's dream team. I mean we may love God, but have we been tested like these men? Have you and I been beaten and left for dead? Have we built a boat when we never saw rain? Have we killed a giant because he disrespected God? Have we faced prison for being a Christian? It seems that God's roster must be full. Surely there is no room for us. I mean we fall short in so many ways. We doubt. We mistreat people sometimes. We give in to pressure. Is there any hope?

Fortunately God's team is also made up of guys like Abraham, who despite great faith also expressed fear and told his wife to lie and say she was his sister. It is made up of guys like Noah who after being delivered from destruction got off the ark and passed out drunk. It is made up of guys like Moses who doubted God's ability and decision making. It is made up guys like David who committed adultery and tried to cover it up by having the lady's husband murdered. It's made up of guys like Peter who gave into pressure and denied even knowing Jesus. It's made up of guys like Paul who was a murderer. So, perhaps there is room for you and I.

God calls us to become a part of His team - His dream team. He looks at our faults and finds goodness. He looks at our doubts and finds mustard seed sized faith. He looks at our darkness and offers light. He looks at our restlessness and offers peace and rest. "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." It's as though he is saying, I know you feel alone in this world. I know you feel there is no one to support you, no one who cares for you, no one who will pick you. I know sometimes you feel like the kid on the playground that nobody wants to have on their team, but God's says, "I want you on MY team. Come to me." Will you join God's team? Will you thank him for choosing you. He knows you are imperfect, that's why He chose you. Will you just relish in the fact that He wants you on His team?

Our True Identity

2012-08-07T21:38:00.002-05:00

So much time has passed since I last posted. In fact, I do not know that I have updated my blog since just after the new year. So much has changed in my life and I have been trying to process it all. Life is like a roller coaster ride. It is filled with ups and downs and sudden twists that take you completely by surprise. Sometimes all we can do is hold on tight and trust we will make it through the ride safely and with a better appreciation for the calm moments.

It feels as though the last 10 months or so have been a giant roller coaster with sudden turns and corkscrews and loops with no area of straight track. It feels as though I am holding on tight and trying not to fall out. What I am learning is to trust the ride operator. God is guiding and leading and I am slowly learning to trust Him, loosen my grip on the safety bar, and enjoy the ride. In all honesty, it has been an incredibly painful and emotional lesson, but I am thankful for what I am gaining from the ride.

Back in October, our then one-year-old son, Joshua was admitted into the hospital. We were told by the hospital staff and doctors that he was near death. We brought him in just in time. Our life was rocked. Nothing else mattered to us except making sure our baby was okay. We cried; we prayed; we worried; we stood strong; we struggled, but still trusted in God. After about a week in the hospital , he was released and doing well. This was one roller ride we did not want to experience again. We learned valuable faith lessons, but no parent wants to see their child suffer like that.

Fast forward a few weeks. I sat in my office responding to emails and working on a children's Christmas musical for the church. An elder approached me and said I was needed in the conference room. I sat down and listened as the elders asked me to resign as children's minister. My heart sunk. I did not know how to respond. I was always told that I was a great teacher and the kids were learning so much, yet it was explained that because of my struggle to find teachers, I needed to resign my position. Every emotion imaginable overtook my spirit: anger, fear, sadness, anxiety, and even relief. It is hard to explain. I was quite bitter for a couple of months. I felt like such a failure. I was depressed.

I struggled to find any type of work at all. I applied at retail stores, restaurants, and even fast food places. With each rejection, I sank a little lower. I finally took a job cleaning a department store and probably wouldn't have even found that job if my brother-in-law hadn't recommended me. I wondered what was wrong with me. I wondered how I could have my ministry taken away from me. Nothing seemed to matter at that point. Rather, I didn't think I mattered at that point. I felt so low; so useless; so powerless. I sat in the worship service not knowing what to do. I had always had some role to fill - preach the sermon, teach the class, lead the communion, be up front, share a word of wisdom - now I just sat there. Yes, I understand that one does not need to be up front to participate in the worship and life of the church, but that was all I had ever known. Now, I felt...insignificant. All I had ever worked for was gone.

I was one the roller coaster of life and it was making me sick. I became disoriented from all the turn and sudden drops. I cried the ride operator (Jesus) for help. He didn't stop the ride, he didn't even slow it down - but he did teach me how to learn from the ride and even enjoy some of the moments. I learned a very valuable lesson. My identity is found in being God's child - nothing more, nothing less. My identity is not a title of minister, it is not a great sermon, or a good lesson. My identity is not found in being a good teacher. My identity is not wrapped up in my ability to organize. It is not found in being an introvert or an extrovert. My identity is found in Jesus. My identity is not others expectations of me. My identity is God's son. I had never realized I viewed my identity in being a minister and having a title, but when that was taken away, I had never felt so insignificant. I have now learned my true identity. I am God's and He is mine.

Do I miss doing full time ministry -yes, I miss parts of it. I miss teaching and preaching. But I will not trade the valuable lesson I have learned. It nearly cost me everything, but I have gained the only thing that mattered. I have gained an understanding of my true identity.

The roller coaster did not end there. You can read about Kellie's job change and see that God is still trying to teach us something. Sometimes, I just want to scream out, "Okay God I get it. You can stop now." But I am so thankful for this new-found identity. It was there all along, it just took a major wake up call to realize I was burying it somewhere and didn't even realize it.

My life looks much different today than it did a year ago. I am now a forklift operator at a local warehouse. It is so different from what I am used to and I struggle to find my place there sometimes. I used to preach about staying faithful during the darkest times of life and now I am experiencing what that means. I once talked about freedom in Christ and now I am truly experiencing it. I am God's child - nothing more, nothing less. Lord teach me to always find my identity in you.

I Will Lay Down My Life for You

2012-08-07T21:36:00.005-05:00

John records a scene in chapter thirteen of his gospel about Jesus that is so heartbreaking. Jesus knows that his time to bear the cross is drawing near. In verses 37-38, we are told of an incident that brings tears to eyes of many. “Peter asked him, ‘Lord, why can’t I follow you now? I will lay down my life you.’ Then Jesus answered, ‘Will you really lay down your life for me? I tell you the truth, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times!” Can you see the tears in Jesus’ eyes as he speaks those words? Can you hear the pain in his voice? He knows that Peter loves him. He knows that Peter is sincere, but he also knows that Peter will indeed deny him three times.

How many times do we deny Christ? How many times do we say with all sincerity, “I will lay down my life for you,” but when the hardship comes we deny him? With a compassion that can only be felt by our Lord, he weeps and cries over us. With tears in his eyes and with nails in his hands and feet, he says, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” He forgave Peter for denying him, just as he continually forgives us.

Today, make up your mind to celebrate that forgiveness. Rejoice with Peter in experiencing the grace and mercy of a God who loves us beyond all comprehension. Even now as you have so many thoughts on your mind and heart about all those times you denied your Jesus, you can take comfort in those words spoken on the cross and for eternity, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

The incarnation

2011-12-01T08:52:00.000-06:00

Here is part 2 of the Forklift Evangelist Christmas series. Check out the youtube channel for other videos.

Missing the Messiah: A devotional thought from the forklift evangelist

2011-11-28T08:30:00.000-06:00

I started a series called Forklift Evangelist. Here is the first of the Christmas series. Let me know what you think.

How is your heart?

2011-11-18T16:49:00.000-06:00

Nearly a month has passed since that day. I had not been feeling well. I was constantly fatigued and kept having dizzy spells.

After a lot of prodding from my wife, I finally decided to go to the hospital. The doctor ran all kinds of tests. I had CT scans and ultrasounds, treadmill test, and an echo cardiogram. I wore a heart monitor for nearly a month. No major problems were found, but a lot of monitoring was done.

I began to think about our spiritual life. What if we had the ability to look into our spiritual hearts? What would we see? Would our heart be healthy? Would we see areas of concern that we needed to focus on? Would there be changes we would need to make?

I believe we do have such a spiritual heart monitor. The Bible is a guide, a monitor that can expose our heart’s true spiritual condition. It shows areas where we are in need of change.

How is your heart? Do you see the areas that need work? Do you need to incorporate a healthy diet of study of God’s word? Ask God to show you what changes you need to make.

Siting at the Feet of Grace

2011-11-06T20:27:00.001-06:00

Recently I was reading the account of Jesus at the hoe of Mary and Martha in the gospel of Luke (10:38-42). Recall the scene in your mind. Jesus was with his disciples when Martha opened up her home to him. Remember that Mary (Martha’s sister) was sitting at the feet of Jesus, while Martha was busy worrying about the preparations.

Can you imagine? Jesus is in your home! You want everything to be perfect. You begin cleaning and there is nothing out of place. You are slaving all day long over the hot stove baking and cooking and cleaning. You then come to the realization that your sister, Mary, is in the other room just listening and talking with Jesus. You become green with envy! After all, you’re the one that invited him over in the first place. You should be the one listening to his words. But no, you’re stuck in here baking while Mary is the one who is being lazy and making you do all the work. You become furious, and finally you just can’t take it anymore. You come stomping into the room where the others are and you say, “Lord! Don’t you care that Mary has left me to do all the work? Tell her to get in here and help me!”

Then Jesus says these words to her, “Martha, only one thing matters. Mary has chosen what is better.”

The only thing that matters is sitting at the feet of our Lord and learning from him and listening to him. Have you ever been guilty of being too busy to get down at the feet of our gracious Lord and learn from him? I pray that you learn what is most important and sit at his feet and not become so busy with other things that you become blind as to what is really important.

The second chapter of Philippians uses words such as encouragement, comfort, fellowship, tenderness, and compassion. Later on in verse ten, the Bible says “…at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father.”

Encouragement, comfort, fellowship, tenderness, and compassion all come with bowing down at the feet of Christ. Make it your goal to take the time to sit at the feet of Jesus and learn from him. Bow down and humble yourself and realize what is most important: Jesus! I challenge you to join Mary and sit down at the feet of grace.

The Joy of Trials

2011-11-04T21:17:00.000-05:00

² Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. ⁴ Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

“Consider it pure joy…” the phrase seems out of place. The words can hardly be uttered without a sense of doubt or perhaps cynicism. Can you imagine telling Ruth those words after losing her husband? Who would speak such a phrase to Naomi after losing her own husband and both of her sons. The road will now be lonely. Ruth is a foreigner and a widow. Naomi is now a childless widow. “Count it joy.”

Who would dare to speak such a phrase to Job? I imagine the conversation: “Job, I was in the field and all your livestock were killed…count it joy.” Or,what about a servant who comes in and says, “Job, I was with your children and they were feasting when the roof collapsed and they all died… count it pure joy.” Who would dare have the audacity to turn to job in his misery and see the pain he is suffering as he tries to scratch and cut himself to find relief and utter, “count it pure joy?”

Yet James tells us to count it joy when we face trials because they produce perseverance. The trials help us mature. Thinking again about the story of Ruth and Naomi, we can see some blessings that result from the trials they face. Namoi learns of a daughter-in-law who loves her and is fully devoted to her. Ruth receives the blessing of provision as Boaz allows her to work in his field. She receives so much more as she is eventually married to boaz who serves as her kinsman redeemer.

Job faces many trials. He loses everything. Yet, later he is bless by a double portion. He gains more wealth, he enjoys great health, he has more children.

Our own testing is never pleasant at the time. We wish it would just pass. We long for relief from the hurt; a cure for the pain; an umbrella of protection from the storm. However, the reality is that without the trial we would be unable to mature. The perseverance, even when we do not understand what is going on, teaches us about our relationship with God. So we can be thankful for the lesson we learned. We can begin the journey toward counting it pure joy.

A Reflection of Psalm 23

2011-10-19T21:16:00.000-05:00

Psalm 23 is perhaps the most famous of all the Psalms David penned.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. David knew shepherding. It was his role in the family. He was assigned the sheep to take care of. While the concept can seem foreign to many in today’s culture, David understood. While my knowledge of what a shepherd does is from a distant observation, David lived and experienced it. He protected the sheep. He looked after them. He knew them by name. He had only in mind what was best for the sheep. He would lead the shape to wonderful pastures for grazing and water for drinking. When a predator came, David would risk his life to save the sheep. He would kill or drive away any that would seek to harm the sheep. Yes, David knew shepherding. Perhaps that is why this Psalm is so famous, for David wrote with intimate knowledge and insight – the Lord is my shepherd. I wonder if David recalled the times he looked after his families sheep as he penned this Psalm? He makes me lie down in green pastures – perhaps David recalls those moments of peace as the sheep safely grazed and he looked after them. Did he use this time to reflect on his own heart for his sheep and the great care he took on behalf of his sheep? He leads me beside quiet waters – I wonder if David remembers the peace he and the sheep felt during those time of eating and drinking. As David pens the phrase, “he refreshes my souls. He guides me along the right paths for his names sake” all is at peace. David is at rest, the sheep are safe.

There comes a sudden shift in this Psalm as David writes “even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil.” David recalls how the sheep would often become prey and be hunted by the lion or the bear. David also realizes he is a hunted man. Saul’s jealousy has taken over and he wants David dead. David is often seen running, yet God is always with him directing his paths and allowing to live in safety.

David realizes that in the midst of the chaos around him: the wars, the running from Saul, the people that are out for his life, he remains safe. He is able to have peace, for the Lord (his Shepherd) has prepared a table for him in the midst of his enemies and he is able to feast on the Lord even when so much is going on around him.

We need to be reminded of our shepherd. He loves us. We are His sheep; His children. He takes care of us and watches over us. He provides our needs. Our only task is to follow our shepherd. We follow his lead and trust that He will do what is needed to take care of us. Even when the predator comes seeking to devour us, we trust in the Shepherd. Then we can gladly say along with David, “Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

Let the Chains Fall Away

2011-03-29T14:31:00.000-05:00

This passed weekend was the Tulsa Workshop. It is always the highlight of my year. I always leave challenged and refreshed. I love to walk around the booths and see what ministries and missions there are around the world. I love to see old friends and catch up with what is going on in their lives. I especially love to attend the classes and hear great men of faith pour out God’s truth in a challenging and inspiring way.

This year’s theme was “Let the Chains Fall Away.” What a powerful message. So many chains seem to bind us as Christians. We are held in bondage by our traditions, our pride, our inferiority, our hypocrisy, our view of God, and the list could go on and on. Although I love the workshop and enjoyed each nights worship and keynote session, I have to confess that I was often distracted. I often find myself distracted. My mind wanders a thousand different directions and I find myself having to constantly refocus my thoughts. Friday night was one of those nights that I found myself distracted. I had spent the day at the workshop. Just Joshua and I went during the day and he was in child care. I was free to attend the classes and I loved it. I had the car and I knew Kellie and the boys wanted to come to the workshop for the night session. I left at 4:00 to get Kellie, Andrew, and Timothy. It took over an hour to get from Tulsa to Muskogee because of construction. We were hoping to make it to the Acappella concert at 6:00 before the evening worship at 7:00. Well, we didn’t make it until close to 6:40. We rushed inside and caught the last few songs. I was frustrated that it took so long to get back to Tulsa. I was distracted by all the kids running around throwing balls and toy cars while I was trying to get into the mode of praise and worship. It is then that I noticed him. A few rows away sat a young man who was obviously “intellectually delayed.” While everyone around him seemed to have a distracted look on their face because of the noise around them, this young man stood with his arms raised in the air, tears in his eyes, singing to his Lord. He was not held prisoner by the circumstances around him, he was just praising. We had a short break between the concert and the evening session, so we took the boys to their class and Kellie and I came back into the pavilion. We sat in a different area this time, but I could still see this young man. He had his arms raised in the air and I could see the emotion and gratitude in his demeanor as he worshiped. In that moment when my mind was racing and I was still watching the kids throw their toys and wondering why their parents were not doing anything to stop them, that God began to work on my heart. It was though He was saying, “See that guy right there? That is how I want you to live.” God wants me (and you) to live life free of the chains. The chains of pride, the chains of undiscipline, the chains a lukewarm life. God wants me to be free. Regardless of my surroundings, He is calling me to give Him the worship He is worthy of. When all the world want to distract me, He wants me to focus completely on Him. When the noise of this earthly life is loud, God offers me complete peace in Him.

I thanked God for His freedom. I thanked him for that young man God used to teach me. I am thankful for freedom in Christ. It is true freedom. Eternal freedom. this life on earth is but a vapor and if all freedoms were taken away, I can still have true freedom in Christ. It is a choice. Following God is a choice. Will I choose to follow Him and experience His freedom? … or am I content to live in chains because that is my comfort zone? What about you? What choice will you make? Will you allow the world to distract you and keep you chained … or will you choose to completely surrender to Christ and be free?

“If the Son set you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36

The Incarnation: God's Response to a Suffering World

2010-12-06T14:30:00.001-06:00

When we look at the world around us, we can see so much pain and suffering. It gets depressing just watching the news these days. We hear of another rape, another murder, another robbery. We see another terrorist act, another casualty in the war. We see suffering all around. Many of you can recall where you were the exact moment a tragedy such as the Oklahoma City bombing or 9/11 occurred. Bad news is all around us. Tragedy often seems to be around every corner. Human suffering invades our lives on a continual basis. We live in unstable times. We can recall the things that once seemed so safe and how they now have been scarred. Recall the group of people shopping in a mall when someone opened fire and claimed innocent lives. The tragedy that took place at a college campus when an alienated student went on a shooting rampage. What about the people attending a worship service that is suddenly interrupted by gun fire – it wasn’t in a communist country it was in the heartland of the United States. We live in a time of uncertainty. And the people cry out, “Where is God?” They say, “If God is such a loving God, then why did this happen? Why did He allow it? Why didn’t He stop it?” We live in uncertain times. Each day people face tragedy: loss of a loved one, unemployment, bankruptcy, victims of violence, homelessness, hunger, poverty, and the list could go on and on. And they cry out, “Where is God? Does He care? Does He even exist?” I have faced some tragedies of my own and I have found myself asking the same questions at times. I think back to driving in the car on Christmas Eve from Oklahoma City to Muskogee after leaving my grandfather’s funeral. Christmas Eve was always such a special time in our family and yet this one carried with it the loss of a dearly loved man. I think back to those times when I felt so rejected by people. I think back to the kid who was one of the leaders in a gang who said he wanted to make a change. When he asked if I could meet with him the next day, I responded yes and as I went to the housing project where he lived and hugged the kids in the neighborhood who were my friends and talked with parents, uncles, and siblings I hear gun shots and there lies the gang member who said he wanted a better life…And I cried out, “Why?”Why didn’t I make a choice to take him home with me the night before to get him out of the neighborhood? Why did God let this happen?” Tragedy has a way of slapping us in the face and daring us to respond. Bad news is all around us. Not much has changed over the last couple of millenia. Since the beginning of sin, people have questioned why. Since sin entered the world, bad news has been showing its ugly face. And it is in those moments of bad news that we need hope. It is in the midst of tragedy that we need peace. It is in the eye of the emotional storm that we feel helpless to control that we need to experience the calm, gentle breeze. God looked at this world and saw the hurt and pain that seemed to have overtaken us as a people. He sent prophets to the people and he sent various messengers, yet God still seemed so distant. He still seemed so far away. God knew the perfect solution. While He would still use people, He would do something that would truly impact the world. He came into the world and walked and talked and lived among us. Luke 2:8-11 states: And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This time of year is a reminder that God made a decision to come to this earth in the form of a baby named Jesus. He could not sit by and watch His people suffer, he responded by becoming flesh and blood and moving into the neighborhood. He went through the trials we go through, he suffered like we suffer – that is good news. And although tragedy still occurs, we know how to deal with it because He put on flesh and blood and taught us how to live. He understands what we go through. Have you experienced the death of a loved one, he understands. Have you ever been abandoned and betrayed by a friend, he understands. Have you ever put all your effort into helping someone only to have them reject you, he knows what that is like. That is good news for us. We have a God who understands pain. That is the Christmas story, that is God being proactive. He put on flesh and entered the world as flesh and blood so you and I could have a more peaceful life. This isn’t about nativity scenes, it’s about a God who gave himself as a gift. Jesus life was spent serving others and bringing them hope, peace, and good news. One of my favorite sayings of Jesus is this: “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” DO you need some rest? The world is full of bad news. Wouldn’t you like to take a rest. That tragedy has been heavy on your heart for so long – wouldn’t you like for him to carry it for you? That guilt and shame has taken your peace for too long now – wouldn’t you like to rest? God’s response to this suffering world is an invitation to rest. We live busy lives. We have appointments and deadlines. We have stress and burdens. We get tired and want to rest, but we say we must continue. We think we must keep carrying this weight, we must stay stressed. We feel that life is meant to be stressful, but Jesus offer rest. When I look at the tragedies around me I wonder, “Where are you, God?” His response is that he is right here offering me some rest, but I look everywhere else. Don’t you think you have looked everywhere else long enough? Wouldn’t you like to rest in Jesus? I have three questions for you to think about . Feel free to respond on this post or just to quietly answer these for yourself: What personal hardship has affected your life? How has it changed your life? How do you need God to respond?

Fantasy Football, Fantasy Church

2010-09-13T14:28:00.001-05:00

Today is the big day. My fantasy football team has its first matchup. I do not yet know the outcome. I have to wait until all the games have been played. Fantasy football is about drafting players from each skill position and your points are based their actual performances. We had a live draft on a Monday night. We went into a classroom at our church and began the draft process. I recall the conversations regarding the various players. We each made statements like “he has a lot of potential.” ”He is such a great player if he can stay healthy.” ”He would be awesome if he would stop complaining and start doing his job on the team.” I suppose it is a little silly for grown men to sit in a room and pretend to be owners and managers of a football team, but it was a great time of fellowship.

Later, I began thinking about the church and about men and women of faith throughout history. What if we could have a fantasy draft for our church? Who would we choose? Why would we choose them? I began to think of people we read about in the Bible and how they had great faith. Perhaps someone may pick Noah. After all, he was faithful in a time when no one else was. God chose to save Noah and his family and start all over. What a great man of faith. We should definitely choose him for our fantasy faith team. The only problem is that when he is finally able to stand on dry ground again , he passes out drunk and naked. Perhaps we can rethink this pick.

What about Abraham? He would be great. God told him to pack his belongings and set off for a place. Abraham did not know where he was going, but he trusted that God would direct his path and protect him. At least, he trusted that God would protect him sometimes. He had his wife Sarai lie a couple of time and say she was his sister in order to save himself because although he knew God, he still thought he had to take precautions (being deceitful) in order to stay safe. Maybe you want to wait until a later round now before you decide to draft Abraham.

What about David? Now there is a first round pick if ever there was one. A shepherd boy who fearlessly faced a giant named Goliath. The giant was a trained warrior, yet David faced him when all of Israel’s fighting men were too afraid. From shepherd to king – that is the man I want on my team. I choose David first. He is perfect for my team. Wait, there was that thing with Bathsheba. He was outside and she was in the tub. He glanced in her direction, then he glanced again. Then he stared. Then he lusted. Then he slept with her and she became pregnant and he plotted to have her husband murdered. Maybe I should rethink picking David for my team.

I choose Peter. He was one of Jesus’ closest friends. Surely he would be close to the heart of God. I mean he walked with Jesus for three years. He saw Jesus perform miracle after miracle. Peter heard God’s voice in the form of Jesus. He touched God’s shoulder in the form of Jesus. He sat at the table and dined with the Son of God. I am definitely picking Peter as my first choice. He delivered the great message at Pentecost where thousands came to Christ. He followed Jesus ready to fight and die for him. I choose Peter. He even walked on the water. I definitely choose Peter. Okay, so while walking on the water, he got scared and began to sink. At least he still had the courage to do it in the first place. Oh, and there was the whole thing where Jesus told Peter he would deny him. Of course, Peter said “I would never do that, Lord.” Way to go Peter! But then they came to arrest Jesus. Peter followed at a distance and while warming himself by a fire, people began questioning him and asking if he was a Jesus follower. What did he do? He denied it. He denied it again. Then he denied a third time. Maybe I should rethink choosing Peter to be on my team as well.

The point is that we all have flaws. Some of the greatest men and women in the Bible have major issues. They sin. They make mistakes. They struggle with their faith. For me, that gives me hope. I can see the people as real. They are real people with real flaws. They have struggles. they doubt. They fall flat on their face. They make mistakes. They are human. Just like our group of men sitting in a room talking about the strengths and weaknesses of various players, we all have strengths and weaknesses. We often do the same when it comes to church. “That person is such a gifted teacher” while at the same time saying “if he could just be more organized.” We say “what a great singer” but also “she keeps finding the wrong men.” We have men of great talent, but they struggle with pornography. We have women with so much to offer, yet they suffer from deep depression. We are a church of flawed people. We have major character flaws. We sin. We doubt. We struggle. Yet at the same time – we love, we serve, we have faith.

I am thankful that the Bible shows us the strengths and the weaknesses of people. It gives me hope. I am thankful that men were not allowed to edit their lives and share only the strong points, but that we are also exposed to their vulnerabilities and weaknesses. We can have hope. Hebrews 11 is often referred to as the “hall of faith.” It is filled with names of great men and women who showed amazing faith. For the purpose of this post, I will refer to it as God’s starting lineup. The men and women listed there had amazing faith and courage, yet they also had flaws. they were murderers, adulterers, and even prostitutes. Yet God chose them to be on his team. It gives me hope. If they can be drafted onto God’s team, maybe I have a chance at being drafted too. thank you, God, for letting me be on your team.

Stay Near Me, Daddy

2010-07-28T21:46:00.001-05:00

The last couple of nights Joshua has been extra clingy (is that a word?). He wants me by him constantly. While he is playing, he wants me by him. When he is laying down, he wants me by him. I love it, yet it is draining. Sometimes I just need to have a break. I feel drained. Yet, at the same time, I enjoy the fact that he loves me so much. All he wants is for his daddy to be around. He wants to know he is safe. He wants to know he is not alone. He wants to know I am near by.

I want to enjoy these moments. I know that one day he will be older and we will not get this moment back. He will be wanting to do his own thing and I will long to be near him. I pray I learn to embrace these moments.

As I think about Joshua’s desire to be near to his daddy, I am forced to think of my own relationship with God. We are encouraged to draw near to God (James 4:8). I have to ask myself the hard question: Am I seeking to draw near to God? DO I desire to get closer to Him each day?Do I so long to be with Him that I cannot stand the idea of not being near him? Do I, like Joshua, just want to be near my daddy? I believe God wants me to be that in love with Him. He wants me to seek Him. He wants me to love being with him. He longs for me to long after him. God is my daddy and he loves his child.

I am thankful for the lessons we learn through children. My prayer is that we can all learn to love God so much we cannot stand the thought of not being near Him. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

My Healer; My Solid Rock

2010-07-22T11:47:00.001-05:00

It began like any other Sunday. I clocked out at work at 6:00 AM and drove home to try to get some sleep before it was time to leave for worship. We were running late and by the time we checked the kids into their classes, we had missed a couple of songs. A video played discussing mission work in Cyprus, but there was a technical glitch and it kept stopping and starting. When it was decided the video would not play, the band came back up to lead us in a few songs.

In all honesty, my mind was wandering all over the place. I was thinking about being late and how I hate being late. I was thinking about my day and how I did not have enough sleep. I was wondering what was wrong with the video and why it wasn’t playing. I was distracted. I said a silent prayer to God asking Him to let me focus.

Josh (our worship leader) introduced the next song and I was immediately brought back into focus. The song wasChris Tomlin’s Our God. It talks about how great our God is. He is greater, stronger, higher than any other. It then had the words “Our God is healer, awesome in power.” I began to think of healing. My mind first went to my dad, who had been in the hospital for a while and who was not doing well during that stay. He is now improving daily and I thanked God for being his healer. I then thought about my own life and the healing taking place. I had been bitter and guilty for quite some time after losing my last ministry job, I felt like such a failure. Tears were forming in my eyes as I sang about God being my healer. He is healing me more and more each day as I seek His will. He is healing my hurts; my pain; my brokenness. He is is greater than my pain. He is stronger than my guilt. He is healer of my sorrows. He is Lord. By the time we got to the part of the song that reinforces if our God is for us, what can stand against us, I was so excited to be God’s child.

A little later in the worship time we sang the old hymn My Hope is Built on Nothing Less. The chorus states “on Christ the solid rock I stand; all other ground is sinking sand.” I began to thank God for being the solid rock I can stand upon. I also wondered why so many times, I try to stand on ground that isn’t solid. I look at the sinking sand around me and think, “I can make it across before I start to sink.” That is not true. Every time I try to stand on anything other than Christ, I sink deep into the quick sand. The more I struggle to get free, the deeper I sink. Why do I keep trying to stand on anything but Jesus? He is the solid rock. He holds me up in a world of sinking sand. He heals my hurts, pains, sorrows, shame, guilt, and regrets. I am so thankful for the way God answered my prayer Sunday morning. He used the songs to minister to me. He always knows just what I need and He is always ready to point me back to him if I am only willing to listen. I pray we can learn to put aside our distractions and listen to His still quiet voice as He so deeply longs to speak to us.

Live in the Moment

2010-07-13T22:20:00.001-05:00

I am definitely not a fan of hospitals. The smell makes me nauseous. In fact, I have been known to pass out from visiting someone in the hospital (I know I’m a wimp when it comes to that). I also never really know what to say. I feel awkward at times. However, I am becoming more familiar with hospitals. I have a few memories of them that are great and a few that are not so great. I can recall visiting a grandparent in the hospital and seeing them suffer. Although I was young, I could understand they were in pain and wanting relief. I recall sitting in the hospital visiting my sister who missed a special Christmas party because she was sick and in the hospital. I felt so bad for her. And I recall watching the nurses put an iv into my child’s arm and seeing my child suffer. Those are not great moments. They make you question and hurt and cry.

However, we have those happy moments in hospitals too. I recall sitting in a hospital in Memphis, TN and holding my wife’s hand. The doctor and nurses introduced us to our newborn son. Our first child. We giggled with glee. He was perfect. And just to make sure we knew our life would be much different, he peed on me. I laughed and hugged him and kissed him. We rejoiced.

A few years later I sat beside my wife’s hospital bed again. This time we welcomed Joshua to our family. I was able to cut the cord and to follow the tradition, he also peed on me.

Those moments of holding those children were so special. they were happy moments. The hospital stay reminded me that I am blessed with wonderful children. When they discharge papers were written, we were able to take our son home for the first time and it was an exciting moment – a new beginning.

This week, I have also been to the hospital. this time it was for a different reason. My dad was in great pain and in bad shape. My mom, brothers, and sister sat beside him and leaned on each other for support. On Saturday, I went to the hospital and it was my first time to get to see him there. He was admitted Friday night, but I had to work and couldn’t make it until Saturday. When I walked into his room, my heart was aching. He looked so week. My dad has always been the absolute strongest man I have ever known. Now he sat in a bed looking so feeble. It really hurt as I walked to give him a hug and he was so weak he couldn’t lift his arms high enough to give me a good hug. While I sat there looking at my dad struggling and having a hard time doing the most simple of tasks, my mind began to wander. I recalled all the lessons I have learned from my dad. He works hard everyday. He loves his family with an unconditional love. He is strong, yet he realizes everything he has comes from God. He is not a perfect man, but he reminds that we have a perfect Father who hears our prayers. While I never believed he would not make it through his surgery or the infection he had (I was confident that he would be okay), I couldn’t help but be reminded that my dad will not always be here. The reality of life is that people pass. I began to think about friends and family who have left this earth to be with God. They made an impact in the lives of many people. I was reminded that I must learn to enjoy each moment to the fullest. My is too short to spend each waking moment being stressed. I need to take full advantage of each day given me by growing closer to God and loving those around me. Gos has given us a gift. If you are reading this and you are a believer in Christ, then you have been given a gift. You had someone who cared enough about you to tell you about a Savior. Regardless of how you may be feeling right, you have an opportunity to grow in your knowledge of Christ. You have an opportunity to tell someone you love them before it is too late. you have the opportunity to live in the moment. How hard it is to live in the moment. Our minds like to drift to the past or to the future. We make plans and life passes us by. We talk about the past so much, we miss today. I am thankful for the reminder to live for today. Tomorrow will have its own problems, today I choose to live for today. I will take up my cross today and follow my Lord. I want to learn to live each day with no regrets. I have many regrets in my past. I must choose if I will learn from them and make a better decision today or if I will just focus so much on those regrets that today becomes another wasted day. Will I enjoy this moment with my kids, or will I focus so much on how I raised my voice at them yesterday that I miss this moment that can be so special? Will I spend my time focusing on how I was angry with my spouse last week, or will I choose to enjoy this moment, this day with her? Life is a series of moments. These moments pass quickly. If we are not careful, we will find our self looking at life wishing we had enjoyed those moments more. God is faithful in each moment. He is faithful as we praise Him and thank Him for letting us hold our newborn child ; He is faithful when we question why we suffer. We have a choice of how we will respond to each moment in life. Let’s choose to live for the moment. Choose to follow Christ today; love your spouse today; enjoy time with your children today. We may not get that moment tomorrow. We will not get back yesterday’s time – all we have is today, this moment. How will we use this moment? Lord, teach me to take each moment as a gift from you.

Our True Identity

2010-07-02T15:39:00.001-05:00

Fast forward a few weeks. I sat in my office responding to emails and working on a children’s Christmas musical for the church. An elder approached me and said I was needed in the conference room. I sat down and listened as the elders asked me to resign as children’s minister. My heart sunk. I did not know how to respond. I was always told that I was a great teacher and the kids were learning so much, yet it was explained that because of my struggle to find teachers, I needed to resign my position. Every emotion imaginable overtook my spirit: anger, fear, sadness, anxiety, and even relief. It is hard to explain. I was quite bitter for a couple of months. I felt like such a failure. I was depressed.

I struggled to find any type of work at all. I applied at retail stores, restaurants, and even fast food places. With each rejection, I sank a little lower. I finally took a job cleaning a department store and probably wouldn’t have even found that job if my brother-in-law hadn’t recommended me. I wondered what was wrong with me. I wondered how I could have my ministry taken away from me. Nothing seemed to matter at that point. Rather, I didn’t think I mattered at that point. I felt so low; so useless; so powerless. I sat in the worship service not knowing what to do. I had always had some role to fill – preach the sermon, teach the class, lead the communion, be up front, share a word of wisdom – now I just sat there. Yes, I understand that one does not need to be up front to participate in the worship and life of the church, but that was all I had ever known. Now, I felt…insignificant. All I had ever worked for was gone.

I was one the roller coaster of life and it was making me sick. I became disoriented from all the turn and sudden drops. I cried the ride operator (Jesus) for help. He didn’t stop the ride, he didn’t even slow it down – but he did teach me how to learn from the ride and even enjoy some of the moments. I learned a very valuable lesson. My identity is found in being God’s child – nothing more, nothing less. My identity is not a title of minister, it is not a great sermon, or a good lesson. My identity is not found in being a good teacher. My identity is not wrapped up in my ability to organize. It is not found in being an introvert or an extrovert. My identity is found in Jesus. My identity is not others expectations of me. My identity is God’s son. I had never realized I viewed my identity in being a minister and having a title, but when that was taken away, I had never felt so insignificant. I have now learned my true identity. I am God’s and He is mine.

The roller coaster did not end there. You can read about Kellie’s job change and see that God is still trying to teach us something. Sometimes, I just want to scream out, “Okay God I get it. You can stop now.” But I am so thankful for this new-found identity. It was there all along, it just took a major wake up call to realize I was burying it somewhere and didn’t even realize it.

My life looks much different today than it did a year ago. I am now a forklift operator at a local warehouse. It is so different from what I am used to and I struggle to find my place there sometimes. I used to preach about staying faithful during the darkest times of life and now I am experiencing what that means. I once talked about freedom in Christ and now I am truly experiencing it. I am God’s child – nothing more, nothing less. Lord teach me to always find my identity in you.

Let Me See

2010-07-02T15:38:00.000-05:00

I always love how our children can teach us about God. Over the years, this blog has been filled with spiritual lessons I learned through being a father and watching my children. Joshua is growing so big. He is walking, running, getting into all kinds of mischief. He enjoys life and is very playful.

One of his interesting characteristic is that he is learning to become a little more independent, yet he wants to be able to see us. He want to know we are nearby. Joshua will go in the other room and play, but every so often he comes into the room we are in to make sure we are still there. He wants to be near his parents. If I have to leave and he sees me grab my jacket and walk toward the door, he begins to cry and hold out his arms for me to take him with me. He is even worse with his mommy. He wants to know we are there to care for him, to love on him, to be near him. He needs the reassurance that we will protect him and take care of him.

I suppose most kids are similar. Most small children I know hate when mom or dad leaves them with a baby sitter or nursery worker. I wonder if there is a spiritual lesson for us. Kids love to be with their parents. They want to have their mom and dad nearby. I wonder if that is part of what Jesus meant when he talked about our need to become like children. Do I have those feelings for God? Do I so want to be near Him that I can’t stand it when I do not see Him? I want eyes that long to see God. I want to see Him at work. I want to see that He is nearby; that He loves me; that He will protect me and take care of me. I need to see Him. When He is not near, I am not the same. He is the only one I can fully trust. Others let me down, but He loves me unconditionally.

A child growing up in a healthy environment usually hates when mom and dad leave, yet something changes as they (we) become older. It seems we become comfortable. We learn that even though mom or dad had to go to work, we will see them at the end of the day. We learn that even though they leave us with a baby sitter, they will be back in a couple of hours. Soon we become used to the fact that we are loved and taken care of – then our own attitude seems to shift. We don’t mind when mom or dad leave as much. We may miss them, but we are fine watching tv or playing outside with the sitter until they return. We become comfortable with the idea that sometimes they have to leave. I wonder if this carries over into our spiritual lives. When we first become Christians, we are babies in the faith. We want to spend every minute with our Father. We can’t stand it when we are apart. Then after a while we miss a prayer time, we skip a day’s reading and over time, we become comfortable. We are comfortable with God’s love so much that we have forgotten how much that love cost. Soon we have spent so much time apart that we don’t really even miss being with our Father. We are content to watch TV, or work , or spend time with our hobbies until next Sunday when it is time to go to spend time with our Father again. I wonder what God thinks of all this? What happens to us? How do we go from being so in love with our Father that we cannot stand to be apart to being content with only spending time with Him once a week in a large crowd where we don’t have to be really intimate in our relationship with Him? God forgive us! Let us see. May we become like the child that longs to spend each minute with you.

New blog site

2009-11-18T18:54:00.002-06:00

I have started blogging over at http://dablankenship.wordpress.com/ All of the posts from this blog have been copied to the new blog. You can also click on the audio link and that page will contain a lot of my sermons and lessons. I have been copying the posts to this site as well, but will soon transition completely to wordpress. Thank you for following this blog.

Make a Mark: Part 3

2009-11-18T18:53:00.000-06:00

This is the final post in the Make a Mark series. Part 1 dealt with Adam and Eve's desire have more. They eat the forbidden fruit and realize they have sinned. Their response to the sin is to try to cover it up. Part 2 focused on the reality that we often try to hide too. We hide our brokenness, our flaws, our insecurities. We need to realize that in order to make a mark for God, we must be spending time with Him. We must have a time of sabbath. We must put Him first. Today, we will shift to another area of great importance: our family.

We all want to make a mark. We seek out ways to make our mark in the world. I want to challenge you and I to stop looking for a place to make a mark, and start making a mark where God has placed you.

Look at you own home. When you come home and talk to your spouse are they getting the very best? Are the getting the best possible you - or are they getting the leftovers? Is you spouse getting your attention, your time, your respect - or are they getting a disconnected you? Ideally your spouse will be with you through the entire journey of life and they deserve your best. i often wonder if the reason so many marriages end in divorce is because our spouses are not getting our very best. We often give our spouses the leftovers.

What about your children? Are the getting the best you have to offer? Are you giving them the father or mother they deserve - or are you giving them the leftovers? Are you enjoying each moment you spend with your family or are you so busy thinking about the next project, the next task that they do not get your best? Our children need to hear us say, "I can't do that right now, I am playing catch with my kids." Our daughters need to hear us say to those who try to keep us busy, "I can't do that I am having a tea party for a beautiful little girl." Our sons need to hear, "I can't help you right now, I am building a fort with my son who is a great architect."

I must confess that I am guilty. I am guilty of spending so much time focusing on the next project or the unfinished task that I have given my family the leftovers. I am guilty for spending so much time helping others, that I do not support my wife or children the way they deserve. I am guilty of working so hard at finding a place to leave my mark on the world, that i fail to leave a mark in the one place God intends me to start. Our children deserve better. Our spouses deserve better. If things are well at work, but not at home - then things are not well.

Max Lucado shares the following illustration in his book In The Eye of the Storm.

Clovis Chappell, a minister from a century back, used to tell the story of two paddleboats. They left Memphis about the same time, traveling down the Mississippi River to New Orleans. As they traveled side by side, sailors from one vessel made a few remarks about the snail's pace of the other. Words were exchanged. Challenges were made. And the race began. Competition became vicious as the two boats roared through the Deep South.

One boat began falling behind. Not enough fuel. There had been plenty of coal for the trip, but not enough for a race. As the boat dropped back, an enterprising young sailor took some of the ship's cargo and tossed it into the ovens. When the sailors saw that the supplies burned as well as the coal, they fueled their boat with the material they had been assigned to transport. They ended up winning the race, but burned their cargo.

God has entrusted cargo to us, too: children, spouses, friends. Our job is to do our part in seeing that this cargo reaches its destination. Yet when the program takes priority over people, people often suffer. How much cargo do we sacrifice in order to achieve the number one slot? How many people never reach the destination because of the aggressiveness of a competitive captain?

What mark are you leaving on your family? Our spouse and children know what is really important to us. We may be able to hide from others, but we cannot hide who we are from our families. So go ahead and leave your mark, or better yet, leave God's mark. We do not have to live anyone else's mark. We do not need to try to live like someone we view as successful. God has put us where we are to leave a mark for him. It starts with our family. You see, we are all making a mark; it is up to us decide what that mark will be - and whose mark it will be.

Make a Mark: Part 2

2009-11-18T14:02:00.000-06:00

In case you missed part 1 of this post, you can find it here. Adam and Eve were taken captive to the idea that there was something more to be had. When their eyes were opened to the sin they committed, they tried to hide. They covered their bodies and they ran and hid from God among the trees in the garden.

There are some of you reading this post who have pursued more for so long that you are hiding. I know I have been guilty and if I look really deeply and honestly their are still area where I good at hiding my pursuit for more. I guess one of the differences between Adam and Eve and us is that eventually they confessed they were hiding. Perhaps we think we are too smart to get caught or we are too proud to admit we are hiding – or maybe we are just ignorant. Maybe we have been pursuing more and hiding for so long, that we do not realize we are hiding – that we are fake.

There are times that we walk into a church building and sit in a pew. We sing songs of praise to God; we bow our heads and pray; we partake of communion; we drop a check in the offering plate – yet we are hurting. We are hurting because we are hiding. We are hiding our broken marriage; hiding our lust; hiding our addiction to pornography; we are hiding. We hide the fact that we have broken and disconnected relationships with our parents, our children, our spouses. We hide our jealousy and insecurities. We hide the fact that we are jealous because your car is newer, your house house is bigger, you have a better and happier marriage. This hiding tears us apart. It weighs us down. It is a burden, but it is all we know. We have been carrying it for so long that it seems so normal, so natural, or even comfortable.

We become so busy trying to our mark in life that we fail to realize that God has already marked us. He has already given us a way and a place to leave His mark. The mark we are seeking to leave must not be our mark, but God’s. Our mark is too small a thing to live for, but God’s mark is worth dying for. We are all living a mark. We mus decide what that mark is and whose it is.

The sin of Adam and Eve left a mark on all of us. Their mark of sin has affected every generation of mankind. Our pursuit of more leaves a mark on the world around us as well. We all want to be successful. We want to be the best. We want people to look to us for the answers. We want others to say, “wow that person really knows how to manage money. They know how to build a company from the ground up. That church really knows how to throw a big event.” Yet at what cost?

Paul’s letter to the church of Corinth deals with some issues that I think are relevant to us today. In 1 Corinthians, he writes how people are divided. The church is made up of these groups who each believe they are superior because of who they learned the gospel from. Some say they follow Apollos; other follow Paul or Cephas; some say they follow Christ. They are all falling into a trap. They are all seeking and pursuing more. They are all leaving the wrong mark.

In 1 Corinthians 3:16-17, Paul writes “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him; for God’s temple is sacred.”Paul uses the plural form of “you” to mean the body as a whole. In other sections of his letter, he uses the single form meaning the individual person is the temple of God. If we are truly the temple of God; the place His Spirit dwell, then we need to seek to leave His mark and not our own.

If we are to leave His mark, then we must be honest and see where we need to grow. So now, let the examination begin.

Are you taking a time of rest? The Bible refers to this as sabbath. I want to encourage all of us to take a sabbath. Take a time to rest. It is so easy to get caught up in work, in life, in our pursuit of more, that we fail to really seek after God. Take a time of rest. Take time to reflect and refocus.

Is there anyway you have not loved yourself? Have you honored yourself as part of the temple of God? Or have you given yourself so much to your task that you are burned out, stressed out, and frustrated. Do you have that time when you cannot be reached; when you will not return a phone call, when you will not respond to an email; when you are having uninterrupted time with God?

How long has it been since you have taken a rest? Has it been a while? Are you tired? Frustrated? Overwhelmed? Burned out? Do you need to rest? Now is a good time. Stop what you are doing. Don’t worry about that email or answering that phone, you can reply later. Stop and focus. Tell God what is on your mind. Let Him know how tired you are. Tell Him how you need to rest. Admit that you have been pursuing more for so long that you forgot to rest. Be real with Him. He already knows all about you. He loves you still. Tell him how sorry you are for trying to hide. Ask Him to help you be real. Let Him make you into what He wants you to be and not what you think others need for you to be. He know far more. He know you much deeper. He is all that matters. Take some time to rest in you Heavenly Father’s loving arms.

On Your Mark: Part 1

2009-11-09T22:14:00.001-06:00

A man was very much in love with his wife. He longed to show her that he loved her. He told her that he would one day prove his love to her. He decided to show his love to her by swimming the deepest river. He was so proud of his show of love that he set out to walk across the longest desert. After accomplishing that feat, he decided to prove his love by climbing the highest mountain and shouting, “I love you!” As it turned out, his wife divorced him – he was never home.

The story above illustrates something about people. We long to be a success. We want to do things in a big way. We want to be the best at what we do. We want to prove our self worth by doing bigger, better things. We want to be best at our careers; to be successful. We long to build the biggest companies; to plant the most churches; to grow the biggest program; to be the biggest and the best.

I have to wonder: is bigger really better? Is more really more?

In Genesis 3, Adam and Eve have it all. They are in a beautiful garden called Eden. They have have no stress, no job, no pain. They in a total state of paradise. They enjoy total fellowship with God. They have it all. Or did they? The crafty serpent enters the scene and begins to place doubt and desires for more into Adam and Eve. He approaches Eve and asks, “Did God really say ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden?’” Eve responds by explaining that they could eat from any tree except the tree in the middle of the garden – if they ate from that tree, they would die. The serpent begins his crafty twist of words, “You will not surely die. God knows if eat from that tree, you will be like Him and know good from evil.”

Did you notice what happened? The serpent, in a subtle way, tells Eve she can have more. The text of Genesis 3:6-10 explains this longing for more, the giving in to the craving, and the result.

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband who was with her and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. but the Lord god called to the man, “Where are you?”

He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” Genesis 3:6-10 NIV

Adam and Eve had all they needed in the garden. It was a perfect situation; total paradise. Yet the serpent convinced them they could have more. They could have more knowledge, more power, more – so they ate the fruit. They gave into the power of more.

Have you ever noticed how we, the human race, struggle with the desire for more? We want more power, more influence, more money, we want more! We buy a new computer and it has everything we need. We are perfectly content. Our friend buys a computer that is newer and nicer and has more features and all of the sudden we want more. We want more speed, more memory, more software, more features, more compatibility. We were content, but all the sudden a seed was planted in our minds that we needed more.

We have a car that gets us from point A to point B. It has decent gas mileage and is reliable, but it seems to not be enough. We see a commercial or ride in a friend’s car that has more features. Soon we want more power, more features, better gas mileage, we want more. We are no longer content, we want more. the desire and pursuit for more begins to drive us.

We want more – but at what cost? Adam and Eve had great fellowship with God, but their desire for more caused them to be banished from the garden and suffer a disconnect from God. Their desire for more cost them everything. They ended up with more work; more pain; more suffering; more rebellion; and a murdered son. They got more than they bargained for.

I find it interesting that the first thing Adam and Eve do when their eyes are opened to their sin is to cover it up. They try to hide their sin. The fig leaves are symbolic for all of mankind to follow. We feel the need to hide and cover our sins. Their response is not one of realizing they have sinned and seeking to make it right; it is instead to realize their sin and seek to hide it – to cover it up. Our own pursuit for more often makes us want to hide. What are you trying to hide? What are you covering up? What is in your life that you do not want others to know about?

This post is titled Making a Mark. We are all making a mark in some way. Adam and Eve left a mark that has affected all of mankind. When they realized the mark sin would leave in their lives, they tried to hide from God. What will your response be? Sin has left a mark on you – will you go to God and confess your weaknesses; or will you try to hide from Him? The choice is yours – what mark will you decide to make?

What Will You Do With Your Time?

2009-10-26T08:04:00.001-05:00

All month long, we have been studying the story of Esther in JAM time at church. The kids have done a great job being able to relay the story of Esther into their own words. I have been excited about seeing the kids share the story and retell it. They talk about King Xerxes and how he was looking for a queen. Esther entered the pageant and the king liked Esther so much, he chose her to be his king. What I find interesting is that Esther never really desired to be queen. She didn’t want to be in the running. Maybe she was too shy or maybe she just really wasn’t that into the king and all the power and prestige that comes with being queen. For whatever reason she never really considered it. I love that her cousin, Mordecai, convinced her to enter the running to become queen. He believed that God had a plan for her life. He believed that God placed at the right place at the right time to bring about a change that would bring glory and honor to God.

Well, God did use Esther. Mordecai learned of Haman’s plan to kill the Jews. He convinced Esther to take a risk and go before the king and make him aware of Haman’s evil plan. Esther did the right thing. She took the risk. God used her to save His people.

My favorite part of Esther’s story comes when her cousin, Mordecai, tells her in Esther 4:14, “And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?” I wonder what God has placed us here for at such a time as this? I wondered as I taught the kids how God would use them for such a time as this. We have such a short window of time in this world. What will we do with it? How will God use us? Will we take advantage of this time – or will we miss the opportunity?