Confessions of a Daydream Believer

Peace Out, Homeslice

2012-12-06T13:57:00.000-05:00

Soon.

Very soon.

Like.

Soon Soon.

This site will be finite.

My new website

Andrea's Cracked Chronicles

will be filled with fabulous banter about homeschooling and the autism spectrum and of course, how completely and utterly cracked my family is.

Farewell, Adios, Farval...

2012-12-05T10:21:00.001-05:00

Good Morning Chickens!

In my flu medicated brain fuzz I decided that this blog has run it's course. It is time for a change. I change every few years and now it's time to say farewell to this one. Not quite sure when I'll revamp this one but you'll know when you get bounced to the new one, ha!

Andrea Johnson Beck, my author page, will remain the same. All things literary will be posted there, including book updates. Logan and I started his story. I'm working on Deadly Redemption, I am thinking a March 2013 release. Deadly Deception continues to grow successfully, which warms the soul. I know some feel that Indie others aren't true authors but we have put blood, sweat and tears into our books just like anyone else. But, I'll save that rant for a different day;-)

Catch you on the flip side!

If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living.
Gail Sheehy

Teaser Tuesday - Logan's Story

2012-12-04T10:19:00.002-05:00

My son removed the circular tube from his mouth, where he was inhaling the steroids to help him breathe and looked at me with twinkling ethereal eyes and flushed apple cheeks, he placed his tiny hand a top of mine. I was perched on an uncomfortable leather stool next to Logan’s hospital bed. The aroma of bleach and latex stung my nose.

I looked at the young child with curiosity. I wanted him to place the tube back in but he shook his head. My eyes were sore from crying, which I never did in front of him, I was his mother, shielding him from the cruelty of the world. I could not let him see the tarnish that bestowed my armor.

“Mommy, it’s the best day ever.”

Breathless, tears sprang from my eyes. This child, who since birth, had been poked, prodded, stuck, examined, observed, scoped, stretched, pinched, was reassuring me that he was alright and that everything would be alright.

This child, who was marked an “enigma” by the best of the best doctors, was comforting me. Allowing his innocent spirit to enrapture my broken one, to fill me with light, when right now, all I saw was darkness.

This child has a story tell…and here it is.

If I Could Give My Body The Stink Eye...I Would

2012-12-03T10:28:00.000-05:00

My weight loss journey began December 26th, 2009. I was wrapping up a six week post surgery chill out so, needless to say, I put on some weight and when I say some weight I mean I-Got-On-The-Scale-And-Threw-Up.

Insert Sparkpeople and exercising my tushy off. I dropped nearly 50lbs in about nine months time.

Slow and steady.

My husband lost close to 60lbs.

However, he could brush his teeth and drop five pounds and yes, there were times where I whispered "Screw you, dude."

Especially, when I hit a plateau.

Present Day:

I have put ten pounds back on. I could blame it on the fact that movers broke my treadmill and it's been an act of congress to get the damn thing fixed so I have been walking around my neighborhood, which is so much better but I still want my treadmill back.

When we moved to North Carolina there were so many phenomenal restaurants. And I'm a sucker for grits.

I'm a curvy chick. Always have been.

I had boobs when I was nine.

I have hips, which hold most of my weight.

I'm 5'3" 1/2 (that's right, I threw that half in there)

Bounce between sizes 8 & 10, depending if I have my fiend.

My weight fluctuates between 148-160

Where am I going with this.

Can I please find a freakin' store with my sizes in stock.

A store that I can actually fit both boobs in to a shirt.

I LOVE Ann Taylor Loft.

I'm a Loft slut but lately, their clothes have not been flattering for someone with curves.

I'm not unhealthy.

I just had blood work and a physical done.

My body pisses me off.

I have diverticulitis and I would love to enjoy a a bowl of ice cream.

Noooooooooooo!

I have to have a week long attack.

It's my fault. I'm a glutton punishment.

I'm aware that this is a brain vomit rant but you know, I just need to.

I'm getting back on track.

Crab dip and ice cream is not worth the pain.

Though I rebel against my body, it sure does rebel back a hundred times worse.

*white flag*

Well played body.

Well played.

Cyber Monday Release Baby!

2012-11-26T07:44:00.000-05:00

The day has arrived

Deadly Deception is on createspace!

WOOHOO!

It has been a loooooong 2 1/2 years but now the book is here!

My blood, sweat and tears are in this book. I wrote my tushy off. And I was blessed beyond belief to have a handful of friends who are brilliant editors and one of them, Melissa, does have a website Composed Success.

The cover was done right in my dining room with the help of my twelve year old son and husband.

Anne, Carter, and Adam have become a huge part of my life. They now have minds of their own. How could you resist a love triangle full of betrayal, kidnapping and murder.

I've been asked about signed copies *warms the soul*...if you would like one, email me at andrea5980@gmail.com

I will give you my mailing address so when you check out you can place my address in the shipping section. Once I receive it, I will sign it and send it to you right away.

I am working on the first draft of Deadly Redemption, I'm thinking March or April 2013.

Thank you to those who have downloaded the ebook on Kindle and Nook. And double thank you to those who have reviewed it on Amazon and Goodreads.

Thank you for all your support and encouragement. I love you all!

Now, go buy the book, you know you want to.

Early Christmas present, perhaps?

The World is Truly Ending

2012-11-25T10:25:00.004-05:00

Justin Bieber Receives Medal From Canadian Prime Minister

Where do I start?

This kid is such a toolbox. I don't get it. Let's begin with, what the hell is he wearing? He couldn't stop at the nearest Kohl's and pick up a tie?

Who wears these anymore and especially like that?

Is he toting Thomas the Tank Engine some where?

I have come to the conclusion that the world is going to end because why in God's name is Justin Beaver receiving a medal from the Prime Minister?

Apparently “have made significant contributions to Canada.”

I don't know how, he hasn't done crap here except make crappy whiny music, wear hats too big for his head and dress like Kris Kross.

I am thrilled that I have a twelve year old boy who doesn't want to listen to that junk. AND Logan will NEVER

EVER

wear anything like that

EVER!

Yup, the world is coming to an end and Justin Bitter is the anti-Christ.

Hold on to your train conductor bib overalls people;-)

Cyber Monday Countdown

2012-11-23T12:36:00.000-05:00

Add Deadly Deception to your online shopping cart of awesomeness Monday, November 26th on createspace.

It has been out on ebook for a week and has had amazing reviews and comments:

This was a wonderful book!!! I couldn't stop reading. I am anxiously awaiting the next book in the series.

The story was well-written and it kept me guessing throughout the whole book. This is a great series to start. You won't be disappointed.

Kuehner Family

I downloaded it last and couldn't put it down last night. - Kae Murphy

I've already read most of it. Its fantastic! Major props Andrea! - Joy Melodie

I have been asked about signed copies *warm & fuzzy*

If you would like a signed copy email me at

andrea5980@gmail.com

message me on facebook

I will give you my address

When you order the book, you will ship it to me, I will sign it and send it to you.

Easy peasy nice and cheesy!

I am thrilled to beans that people are loving the book and are looking forward to the second one.

You guys are amazing! Thank you for making Deadly Deception a success!!!!

What I'm Loving Wednesday - Thanksgiving

2012-11-21T08:38:00.000-05:00

This day before Thanksgiving I am cuddled under the blanket with the fireplace going and enjoying a nice cup of liquid bliss while both boys are still sleeping.

Mom Time.

I am loving that we will be spending Thanksgiving with fantastic friends tomorrow.

I am loving my husband for making coffee before leaving for work.

I am loving my new fuzzy socks *thanks Target*.

I am loving that people are purchasing my book Deadly Deception. Warm and fuzzy here!

I am loving and thankful for:

My sassy, witty, inappropriate, hilarious, fabulous friends.

Family and all their insanity.

Ylang Ylang oil, I would snort the stuff if I could;-)

Chocolate...any kind...I'm not picky.

Melatonin for helping me combat insomnia.

Vampire Diaries and when Damon takes off his shirt (hey,don't judge).

My parents recent visit to NC. We're crazy.

What are you loving and thankful for today?

Oh, did I mention that my book is on the Kindle and Nook?

;-)

Paperback coming soon!

What I'm Thankful For...

2012-11-20T09:25:00.000-05:00

DENTAL INSURANCE

Good grief! This is why we have one child.

We are in the middle of the expander process which will lead into braces three months from now. I have signed over my bank account to the Ortho *my soul wept*. Yesterday was dental day for Logan and he was such a trooper.

From 9:15am-10:45am we were hanging at the Ortho. What was funny was that there were five other moms in the waiting room and we were all on electronic devices. Two on their phones, one on an iPad and myself and one another on Kindles.

They cemented some fun metal devices in his mouth. The assistant came out and praised him up and down. That's Logan, he goes with the flow and never complains.

Next week the expander goes in and I get to learn how to crank it. Phil wants nothing to do with that. *wuss*

We left, went home for a bit and then from 2pm-3:45pm we were at his stellar dentist. They checked his molars to make sure all was good for the expander next week, took x-rays and had an exam.

Dental assistant: You are better then most of our adult patients.

Yup, that's Logan.

He was making the dentist and the assistant laugh. Always the comedian. For a child who has sensitivity to light, sound and touch, he sure does rock out all these evasive appointments.

After a day of poking and prodding the kid deserved a nice big bowl of chocolate ice cream.

I would love to send our dental insurance company a fruit basket. Edible arrangement perhaps. Though I still have to sell a kidney on the black market to pay for the remainder of the Ortho bill, it's something that Logan needs, this isn't optional.

I wonder what category I use on Ebay for the kidney.....

Deadly Deception (my second baby) is Published

2012-11-19T07:39:00.003-05:00

I know, I know, I said November 27th BUT I just couldn't wait. Here it is on the Kindle

And the NOOK

Surreal.

Amazing.

Scary.

Exciting.

I am proofing the paperback this week so that that will be available soon. Each time someone would ask me for a signed copy, I would tear up. I am extremely blessed to have such amazing family and friends. They have been so supportive and stood with me, encouraging me these past two years.

I hope you buy it and I hope you love it and I hope you can't wait for Deadly Redemption.

Thank you!

Zombie Thoughts Will Eat Your Brain

2012-11-14T08:27:00.001-05:00

I am not quite sure what my son thinks about while swimming but when his lesson was over, he casually sauntered over to me and said:

I respect zombies...I do. But if they come after my family, I'm taking them out.

Logan took his big beach towel and started to dry himself off. His statement was matter of fact. His swim instructor nodded at his words and replied

It's good to have a plan.

I start scanning the aquatic center for brain eating beings. Do they know something I don't? Nope, the lifeguard looks...not hungry for human flesh. Maybe that is why he was swimming so fast.

Logan! Swim! Walkers are coming!

I envision my son (twenty years from now) he will be on a TV show, on A&E or something like that, preparing for a Zombie Apocalypse and the brain eating aftermath. Teaching his family to aim for the head. Stocking up on walker weapons. Trying to concoct an antidote.

I don't know where he gets this stuff.

Which reminds me, I need watch The Walking Dead that is on my DVR....

Bacon Wrap That Awesomeness

2012-11-05T10:43:00.005-05:00

My baby.

My bundle of literary joy, is being released November 27th!

*running man*

*sprinkler*

*Hammer Time*

Deadly Deception was written 2 1/2 years ago, re-written, deleted, re-written, deleted, rinse, repeat.

My Honest Abe peeps gave me the green light on the story line, plot, characters and that made me feel fantastic. My story didn't suck.

I know not everyone will love it as I do.

I know criticisms will present themselves.

Trust me when I say this...I've dealt with worse things in life.

This is cake.

Chocolate cake.

Which I plan in indulging in the day my book drops.

On a stellar side note: my uber fab twelve year old shot the book cover.

Yup, he rocks it like Aerosmith.

Hop over to my author site where I will continue to update.

Thank you for all your support!

HUGS & LOVE to you all!

Stop Breathing My Oxygen

2012-11-01T12:11:00.000-04:00

Hey, it's cold and flu season.

Let's talk about deadly diseases.

Holy Neurotic OCD Batman!

After a night of zombies, ninjas, and a psycho Beaker look alike (my mad scientist son)

we came home and my husband thought it would be a stellar idea to watch Contagion.

Seriously?

While he is coughing!

I. Am. Freaking. Out.

This is my new wardrobe.

And my husband will be sleeping in the shed.

I would contribute my demented neurosis

for my 2:21am wake up after a horrific nightmare that my family became the undead due to a freakin' super virus. Yup, I was awake until after 4am.

And I totally went in Logan's room to reassure my irrational mind that he hadn't turned in to a brain eating monster. Kid zombies are the worst, and uber creepy.

No more sharing the peace at church, which I don't like doing anyway, because I know the man behind me probably touched a pig who ate bat droppings in China and is now sharing his infected peace with me.

As we start November with our Thankful Tree:

It was an obvious one for me.

My husband is still coughing.

I need to quarantine him off in a bunker, in the woods.....

Where's my Costco size Lysol?????

Too Early To Debate With A Twelve Year Old

2012-10-30T09:41:00.003-04:00

Are you eating chocolate cake for breakfast?

Yes.

Can I have some chocolate cake?

No.

Why?

I don't share. Especially chocolate.

Can I have a bite?

No.

Why?

I told you why.

Can I have chocolate for breakfast?

No.

But you can? Why?

Because A. I gave birth to you. B. I can. and C. I gave birth to you.

You said that twice.

I know, it trumps everything and it hurt a lot so therefore, I can have chocolate cake every morning if I choose to.

Have you had your coffee yet?

No.

You should. You are not in a good mood.

I was going to until some twelve year old boy started asking me about chocolate cake.

Oh. I should have waited to ask about the chocolate cake until after you had coffee, you would have said yes then.

Is that your theory?

Yes.

Let's test it.

*I take a sip of coffee*

Can I have chocolate cake?

No.

Would you share this?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Logan did have chocolate milk if that makes you feel better;-)

Agree To Disagree

2012-10-29T14:29:00.002-04:00

Over at Homeschool Mosaics I talk about the never-ending debate among us homeschool families:

Handwriting vs Typing

Calculator vs Writing It Out

The joys of homeschooling is that we can teach what works best for our children. There is no right or wrong.

Let me know your thoughts? What programs do you use?

Don't get mad, get weird.

2012-10-25T09:48:00.003-04:00

Over at Home Educating Family Blog, my October article is about stress: Awesome, with a side of weird.

I am certainly not the poster child of calm but instead of having an emotional implosion, I cope with some fun, yet sometimes inappropriate, actions. Hey, it makes my kid laugh and that sound is music to my ears, especially when he is having a rough go at it.

How do you deal with stress? Pop on over to my article and share with me and others.

What I'm Loving Wednesday ~ Autumn Love

2012-10-24T10:43:00.002-04:00

Happy October 24th peeps!

Before I throw down all my love I want to say what I am NOT loving: My son is sick. Had one of those oh, so fabulous breathing attacks this crisp fall morning. I did open his window last night, his head was near the cold air which, I know helped a great deal. Always does. Cheer for NC nights!

I am enjoying every ounce of this spectacular autumn weather.

I ordered this uber cute dress from ModCloth. Add some tights and boots, perfect for this weather here.

I'm loving my handsome twelve year old. I took some great pictures of him this weekend while we trekked around the bluffs, enjoying the changing colors.

We are hosting an early Thanksgiving when my parents come to visit early November. I've been checking out different decor for the occasion.

I LOVE Anthropologie! Need I say more.

I am loving all the encouragement and support in regards to my upcoming book Deadly Deception. I am in the last part of the editing phase and it should be released in November. I have received stellar reviews on the book which makes me all warm and fuzzy.

Logan and I are going to watch

Have an amazing Wednesday everyone!

Homeschool Reason #27 - The Hobbit Unit Study...'Nuff Said

2012-10-23T13:59:00.001-04:00

Logan: You're an awesome mom and teacher.

Me: What did you do? *cocking a suspicious eyebrow*

Logan: Nothing. I think it's cool that we are doing an unit study on The Hobbit. I can't wait to see the movie.

Me: Between the unit study, reading the book and the devotionals, you are definitely set until December. And thank you saying I'm awesome.

Logan: I am so happy we homeschool.

This was our afternoon dialogue. And I have to agree with him.

Which part you ask?

Obviously the awesome mom and teacher part.

And the fact that we get to incorporate The Hobbit in to our studies. Indeed, how cool is that?

I can 100% say that I never, EVER, read anything that cool in 7th grade. EVER.

Just sayin'.

Our entire language arts existence is covered until after Christmas. Whoop! Whoop!

THIS is what learning is all about. Having fun.

My child is a reading ninja when it is something that sparks his interest.

War Horse - No

Of Mice and Men - No

The Hobbit - Yes

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children - Yes

The weirder, the better.

Logan has requested that I attach The Hobbit movie trailer...he's a just a little excited, as am I;-)

Don't Drool On Dinner

2012-10-22T10:42:00.000-04:00

I was in dire need to glitter up my dinner menu. And where do I go for that: Pinterest (of course). This website brings out your inner MacGyver, Martha Stewart and Will Ferrell, and poofto spifto, you are bacon wrapped awesomeness.

Anything spicy or avocado, I'm all over it.

On Gimme Some Oven they posted a recipe for chicken and avocado enchiladas. Friday night dinner. Check.

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Cook Time: 20 minutes

Yield: 6-8 servings

Delicious chicken enchiladas with an irresistible avocado cream sauce!

Ingredients

Enchilada Ingredients:

2 Tbsp. olive oil
1 medium white or yellow onion, peeled and thinly sliced
2 poblano peppers, stemmed and thinly sliced
1 jalapeno pepper, finely diced (remove seeds for less heat)
8-10 (6-inch) flour tortillas
4 cups shredded cooked chicken
2-3 cups Monterrey Jack cheese
optional garnish: fresh cilantro, sour cream, and/or shredded cheese

Avocado Cream Sauce Ingredients:

2 Tbsp. butter
2 Tbsp. flour
2 cups chicken broth
3/4 cup sour cream
1/2 tsp. cumin
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 tsp. pepper
2 California avocados, peeled and pitted
1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro
juice of one lime

To Make The Enchiladas:

Prepare the "Avocado Cream Sauce" as listed below. Preheat the oven to 375? F. Grease a 9 x 13-inch baking dish.

In a large skillet, heat olive oil over medium-high heat. Add onion, poblano and jalapeno, and saute for 5-6 minutes until the onions are cooked and translucent. Remove from heat.

To assemble the enchiladas, place a tortilla on a flat surface. Spread a tablespoon or two of the avocado sauce down the middle of the tortilla. Then layer on some of the vegetable mixture, shredded chicken and cheese. Carefully roll the tortilla and place it seam side down in the baking dish. Repeat with the remaining tortillas. Drizzle the top with about half of the remaining avocado cream sauce, then cover the dish with foil and bake for about 20 minutes, or until tortillas are heated through and begin to harden.

Remove from the oven, then serve individual enchiladas drizzled with the remainder of the avocado cream sauce. You can also garnish with additional cilantro, cheese, and/or sour cream.

To Make Avocado Cream Sauce:

Melt the butter in a skillet over medium high heat. Add the flour, whisking until golden and bubbly, about 2-3 minutes. Slowly whisk the broth into the flour mixture. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to medium-low and simmer for 5 minutes. Stir in the sour cream, cumin, salt, garlic powder and pepper, whisking if necessary to remove any lumps. Remove from heat and transfer mixture to a blender or food processor. Add avocados, cilantro and lime juice, and pulse until smooth and well-blended. (Be very careful blending hot liquids -- the heat will expand! So be sure to remove the lid occasionally so that the heat can escape.) Season with additional salt or pepper if needed.

The avocado sauce is something to write home about. I wanted to drink it with a straw. We did not add the sour cream to the top or in the cream sauce. Also, I used a mixture of Mexican cheeses to the inside of the enchiladas. I would also add an additional jalapeno.

I had to hurry and take this photo, my husbands fork was literally diving in as I took it.

At Skinny Taste I have found so many delicious recipes and the crock pot chicken taco chili was no exception. Sunday night dinner. Check.

Crock Pot Chicken Taco Chili
Gina's Weight Watcher Recipes
Servings: 10 • Size: 1 1/4 cups • Old Points: 3 pts • Points+: 5 pts
Calories: 203.7 • Fat: 1.4 g • Carb: 33.3 g • Fiber: 10.0 g • Protein: 16.9 g

Ingredients:

1 onion, chopped
1 16-oz can black beans
1 16-oz can kidney beans
1 8-oz can tomato sauce
10 oz package frozen corn kernels
2 14.5-oz cans diced tomatoes w/chilies
1 packet taco seasoning
1 tbsp cumin
1 tbsp chili powder
24 oz (3-4) boneless skinless chicken breasts
chili peppers, chopped (optional)
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro

Directions:
Combine beans, onion, chili peppers, corn, tomato sauce, cumin, chili powder and taco seasoning in a slow cooker. Place chicken on top and cover. Cook on low for 10 hours or on high for 6 hours. Half hour before serving, remove chicken and shred. Return chicken to slow cooker and stir in. Top with fresh cilantro. Also try it with low fat cheese and sour cream (extra points).

I did tweak this, just a bit. I added a jalapeno with seeds, a couple of tablespoons of Mrs. Renfro's Ghost Chili Salsa.
I sprinkled fresh cilantro, cheddar cheese and crumbled tortilla chips on top. Also, I left out the corn.
I was tempted to lick my bowl clean but refrained. This was the perfect meal for a chilly autumn evening.
We had leftovers, so I know what I'm having for lunch.

With both mouth watering meals, the aroma alone kicked up my boys Great White Shark skills. The combination of spice and flavors assaulted my senses, but in a close-my-eyes-groan-in-euphoria kind of assault.

These two recipes have been added to my monthly rotation. And I am already itching to add a few more.

Now wipe the saliva from your mouth and cook one of these amazing recipes:-)

Dial 800-Inappropriate

2012-10-19T12:51:00.003-04:00

This week has been Oreo stuffed with "What the glob?" moments.

I'm not going to relive the vet trip with you, I'm damaged enough and so is Logan. And after the visit, so is Bear…he is now seeking electric shock therapy.

Thursday, the moment had arrived, LOGAN WAS SWIMMING! ALONE! NO FLOATIES! I launched myself from the bleachers, seal clapping and bawling hysterically. I quickly snapped a picture of my little fish and frantically began texting, facebooking and instagraming it all over creation.

I quickly realized something did not feel so awesome.

I typed out the words on my phone “My lady bits are numb from sitting on this metal bleacher for thirty minutes ha!”

Guess who I sent that to?

My mother-in-law…in complete error.

Now, you are wondering who I was going to send that to. Well, of course my best friend Doreen, who I know would need to know that little tid bit of information.

In the excitement of Logan’s mammoth accomplishment, I hit the wrong message. I immediately text her again, apologizing for the TMI but I’m crazy stoked and you know, caring means sharing. Good thing she has a stellar sense of humor. Then I proceeded to share my awkward moment with the world and slapped it on facebook.

Makes sense, right?

Since we are on the topic of lady bits…..

I am sitting on the couch enjoying the latest episode of Vampire Diaries, when I witness a Target Christmas commercial.

What the glob?

I announced to my husband, who was sitting directly next to me “These Christmas Target commercials are giving me angina.”

He says “Why are they giving you vagina?”

WHAT? Did he just say that word?

First, I am not a fan of that word, too clinical, makes me feel like I’m going to my yearly felt up session. Second, why in the world would I say that? That doesn't even make sense!

“I said angina, what the heck?”

He shrugs “That’s why I asked. What's angina?”

“It’s a heart condition.”

Selective Hearing Syndrome.

It’s the same as Man Looking Syndrome.

I wish I could say that this is an isolated occurrence for our family but it’s not. My family and friends are always entertained by us and our inapt banter.

But, hey, you have to laugh, you to have a sense of humor, you can’t take life serious…you’ll give yourself angina;-)

I Didn't Catch Your Name? Joan was it?

2012-10-16T12:26:00.001-04:00

My bum is semi-numb.

The metal bleachers are unkind to me while I watch my son swim.

A shrill voice breaks me from my concentration. I turn to the left and see a petite blond and her three children, roughly aging between eight and five. She is chatting with a man, they are discussing about the whole "track out" thing. We have year round school and every quarter the children are tracked out aka take a break, for two weeks.

She says, hands on hips, disgustingly:

“Why can’t they just leave the kids in all day, every day? Ugh, what am I going to do with them? I am taking them here for swimming, then what! I don’t know how parents handle their kids for an entire summer, I can barely take a weekend!”

She is clearly flustered by the whole inconvenient situation. Her children are still standing near her absorbing each and every word.

Well, I did what any sane human being would do, I tossed her little, pink, too short, too tight, Victoria Secret jumpsuit clad body (which should not be worn over the age of twenty-one) in to the chlorine laced water and proceeded to adopt her children and feed them copious amounts of ice cream.

Mentally I did.

When I turned my head away from the wonky situation, Logan was standing there. His reply to this train wreak was:

“Thank God you’re my mom.”

I floundered.

Create a scene. Don’t create a scene.

The man she was speaking with was desperately trying to escape. She proceeded to shoo off her children towards the pool.

I almost bit right through my tongue.

I may or may have not said while passing by,

“Please, don’t have any more children or ever homeschool.”

And, she may or may not have said,

“Excuse me?”

And, there may or may not have been clapping from the surrounding bleachers.

And, I may or may not have curtsied on my way out.

This is, in no way, in any share or form about homeschooling. I completely realize that it is not for everyone. This is simply about me asking, why in the world did you have children?

Yes, they are a great tax write off.

Yes, you can teach them to do the chores you despise.

Yes, there have been moments when Ebay for Children, came to mind. “My twins can do double the dusting….”

Instead of swimming lessons, she needs to invest in a stellar psychotherapist…for her kids. Granted, I don’t know their home life. Maybe it’s like Children of the Damned there, but the aquatic center didn't need to know about it. It looked as if the kids wanted to curl up in the fetal position and start rocking back and forth.

Maybe I’m weird.

Maybe I’m completely cracked.

Ok, We already know I am, but I like being around my son. He’s a hoot! While Logan was away all weekend, Phil and I didn't go anywhere that we haven’t been to with him. And we missed the stinky little man.

I can appreciate a date with my husband. And having a Mom Time Out on occasion but I certainly don’t count the minutes until he’s away from me.

Look, all I am saying is…Tact.

That woman needs a heaping dose of it. And probably some parenting classes and DEFINITELY NO wire hangers in her vicinity.

I Never Forget that my Child is on the Autism Spectrum. Never.

2012-10-15T17:01:00.000-04:00

I never forget that my child is on the Autism Spectrum. Never.

Last night, after telling us about his brilliant weekend with his peep at the beach, we immediately noticed he looked and sounded exhausted.

Red eyes, squeaky voice, and ample yawns.

You know what this spells: M-E-L-T-D-O-W-N

And not any kind of meltdown. The kind where hot claws reach deep within your heart, turn and squeeze.

The kind where no matter how long I hold him, I can't make it better. I have to let him go through the motions. I silently pray, willing God to give it to me, allow me to take every ounce of his anxiety and stress.

I beg.

Tell him to breathe. Breathe like me.

The flood gates of emotion tumble from his quivering mouth, in between hiccup cries. My son is hurting. He'll start remembering moments where something sad happened or a person was mean to him or me or Phil. As it continues he says "My brain hurts!"

Phil can't stay in the room. He feels every bit of Logan's pain.

I never forget that my child is on the Autism Spectrum. Never.

I do forget that he is twelve. His old soul tricks me in to believing he is older then a child. It's when his innocence is stripped for all to see, that is when reality punches me in the gut.
He took a HUGE step by being away from us for the entire weekend, he's maturing, he's evolving in to a young man but while he sobbed in my shoulder he would tell me that he was homesick, that he missed us and Bear so much, that he wanted to come home when he fell and hurt his chin but he was having so much fun, he adores them and he felt guilty. Guilty for everything. Guilty for feeling homesick, guilty for crying, guilty for having fun without us. He's too young to be feeling these intense emotions.

Young.

Keyword there.

When the tears stopped.
We all cuddled together on the couch, watching cartoons to lift the atmosphere.

I never forget that my child is on the Autism Spectrum. Never.

Today was a better today. He slept in. We played games. We read. We watched our favorite shows.

There remains an ache in my chest. I will always pray to take those doleful feelings away. To digest them, swallow them whole so my child wouldn't have to.

We are extremely proud that he took another step outside his comfort zone. We see it as a success.
They started planning another sleepover, Logan suggested our house...and added a ghost tour to the mix;-)

Always plotting....

Just Keep Swimming

2012-10-10T09:35:00.001-04:00

For many years, Logan has been afraid of the water, well, afraid of drowning. And he would run down the scientific list of why he will drown. Yesterday, he started swim lessons and to say that I was beaming with pride is an understatement. I wanted to stand up and pom-pom cheer, do the running man, raise the roof…you get the idea. After I pushed back the potential of embarrassing my child in to the awkward teenage black abyss, I snapped a picture of my uber dope twelve year old becoming more and more comfortable in the water. He listened very carefully to his instructor, who by the way is stellar, and focused on each direction she gave. Every time he went under water, popped back up, he looked my direction for a thumbs up, which I threw up enthusiastically.

Uh oh, the moment came when my emotions pushed up my throat; my attempt to swallow them back down was futile. My inner pep talk wasn't working. And before I knew it tears of absolute joy raced down my cheeks. Watching my son conquer his ultimate fear was amazing. He left his comfort zone the second he stepped in to that poor without his life jacket, he let his body take control and stopped over thinking. He told his fear to go take a hike!

Fear is something that we create. It inhibits us, controls us and constrains us. Once you overcome your anxiety, you begin to question why you were afraid in the first place. I always hated it when people would say to me or to Logan “Oh, swimming is easy, just do it.” Yeah, to most it is but to Logan, it scared him to death. We would try with him every year but he wasn't ready and we respected that. As he is maturing, so is his self-confidence which is astonishing to see. I am privileged to witness this transformation on a daily basis, another perk of homeschooling.

I was a texting fool at the aquatic center. I sent out the picture of Logan swimming, slapped it on Instagram and facebook, and made it abundantly clear that I was one proud mama. An elderly man came over and said “We could be looking at a future Olympian.” I nodded in agreement because you just never know.

Logan never ceases to amaze me. He fights with every inch of his soul. He plows through the trepidation and comes out triumphant. From the moment he took his first breath in this world he has clashed and battled. One of Logan’s favorite Bible verses is:

The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? Psalm 118:6

He’s been saying this verse since he was five years old. And no matter what he is going through, that is what he will tell me. Logan inspires me daily. His innocence and purity give me hope for this world and for our future.

I am sure I will blubbery it out on Thursday and when the day comes and he swims an entire lap on his own I may just bust out the running man and raise the roof. I may jump up and down hysterical and then jump in the pool with them. I may hug him until he can barely breathe and tell him every thirty-seconds how proud I am of him, oh wait, I did the last two yesterday and finally after the 200^th “I’m so proud of you” he said “Mom, I know.”

Maybe he is the next Phelps? Maybe he is the next Joel Osteen but for right now, he’s my awesome twelve year old son who is conquering the world around him, one pool at a time.

Show Some Literary Love

2012-10-05T14:15:00.004-04:00

My brain cells are numb.

Why, you ask.

I changed websites. Yes. Again.

www.andreajohnsonbeck.com

is no longer.

I needed easy, simple, fast and since Blogger and I go way back, my new site is

http://andreajohnsonbeck.blogspot.com/

It's a work in progress but getting there...slowly.

Follow, bookmark, email stalk, what ever floats your fabulous boat, I'll be updating there and over at the my facebook author page.

Deadly Deception is in final edits. Myself and my awesome editors are grinding away at it. The cover will be shot in the next two weeks. Hopefully *fingers and toes crossed* it will be out around the holidays.

Wouldn't that make a perfect gift;-)

I will also add Linky Followers for those who can't with GFC.

Peace out homeslices! Have a fabulous weekend!

Bullying Ends Now

2012-10-03T10:02:00.001-04:00

Bullying is all around us. The boy at school, the parent on the soccer field, and the woman behind her computer screen…they are all around us. My family has had firsthand knowledge of this cruel and disgusting act. While my son, who was eight at the time, was taunted, poked, harassed, teased, chased at a public school in Port St. Lucie, Florida. Though his stay at this despicable institution was short lived, the emotional repercussions are still present. To this day, Logan will talk about his horrific experience there. They went after him because he was different.

When we reached out to the school faculty they told us “Well, the parents are worse than the kids, so, it won’t do any good to say anything to them. But, Logan is having issues, he’s not social enough. He stays on the swings the entire time at recess.” *flipped the table on us*

When I asked Logan about the swings, his response “If I swing, then they can’t get to me.”

My son was terrified. His logic was if he stayed in motion then the bullies couldn’t taunt him. After several attempts of resolving this, Phil and I had had enough. I thanked them for their incompetence and the emotional destruction of my child and that our decision to homeschool became obvious.

Now, mind you, I was facing my own adult bullying issues. I was being harassed by grown women (I use that term loosely) who used facebook as their weapon. I was living in the movie Mean Girls. Needless to say, I still have trust issues with women and I am very cautious with who I befriend.

After some time, Logan came to me to tell me that he had forgiven his bullies and I should too. My very wise and very kindhearted son. Those twenty-seven days of pure hell, watching Logan slowly emotionally succumb: the anxiety attacks, the crying in my arms daily, self-worth broken down to nothing, this is the damage that they unleashed on an innocent eight year old.

Bullying is NEVER OK! No matter what age you are. And if you are a parent who feels that it’s alright to make fun of others, than shame on you. If you don’t know that person, if you don’t know what road they have had to travel, then keep your mouth shut. I have ended friendships of my own because one or both of the parents were bullies. They would speak ill of others and laugh about it. It made me wonder, what do you they say about my family when I’m not around? What do they say about Logan and him being on the Autism Spectrum?

There are different types of bullying. And once someone says something and you question your self-worth, they are a bully.

October is National Bullying Prevention Month. We need to take a stand against those who think it’s alright to degrade others because obviously they are insecure about their own lives. They feel the need to tear down out of jealously or hatred. A lot of it’s done over the internet, social media sites, and teenagers attacking each other on facebook and twitter.

Have you read this story: Bullied Michigan teen, nominated to homecoming court as a cruel joke, cheered as hero? The community rallied around this amazing young girl while the harsh, disgusting bullies watched their plan back fire. What was the point of this? To make her feel different? She already felt that way. So adding salt to the wound was a must for them. How awful to live with such distain in your heart.

Phil and I are blessed to have such an amazing kid, who not only loves unconditionally but forgives with his whole heart. His soul is as pure as any I have ever seen. Logan will be writing his own blog post about bullying which he has touched upon briefly in his autism post a few months back.

Never let someone tell you that you aren't good enough, you’re not what others look like, you’re not the “norm”, pish, who wants to be normal, blech, what a dirty word. Embrace who you are and all your stellarness! God created YOU and that is ALL THAT MATTERS. Like Logan always says “I’m different and I look good doing it.” And so do you!