Confessions of a Gigolo

How your intellect could be destroying your romantic relationships.

2020-03-16T10:42:00.001-07:00

Male P.M.S.

2017-12-14T10:16:00.002-08:00

I will undoubtedly receive thousands of letters from my male counterparts for exposing this scarcely communicated fact, but, so be it. I have grown accustomed to controversy over the years.

Little known fact: Men endure symptoms of P.M.S.
Now, obviously our symptoms are not the same as a woman's and if you are at all familiar with my writings, you know that I am big on acronyms. The classic male disorder can be defined as follows:

P.power M.money S.sex

Unlike women who generally loathe their "time of the month", most men wholeheartedly embrace ours. The testosterone driven desire for power, money and sex has caused many men to veer off the narrow path of sane and rational behavior.

Truth: A house divided CANNOT stand...so know what you're working with.

Our insatiable quest for these three trinkets cause us to be most volatile in our personal relationships. On the one hand we want the monogamous relationship but, on the other, we strongly desire the status that these three kings will bring us, so we are forced to choose. Often times than not, men will choose the latter because the former can always be attained afterward. Most women I know are attracted to the man in possession of these three kings when they first meet him. but the piece most overlooked is that his definition of success came in three. Power, Money AND Sex. The first two kings do not present an obstacle because they, too, may benefit by association, but they vehemently fight to dethrone the third mighty king by thinking that, somehow, their sex alone should be enough to satiate his thirst. That's the first mistake. The successful man knows that he has plenty options and is very accustomed to exercising them at leisure.

Hard Truth: Remember the Golden Rule...
This is not an equal opportunity situation. He is golden so you don't rule. If you did not contribute to the accumulation, do not try to influence the distribution. I know you are all that and he should feel "lucky" to have you, but in his particular area of operation, you are one of many. I will bring this to a close by simply stating that high hopes equal high consequences and male P.M.S. is a reality. Honestly assess the object of your desire and determine if he is either in possession of or in route to these "three kings" and govern yourself accordingly.

Fake Friends

2017-01-11T08:06:00.002-08:00

I arrived to find her weeping on the marble bathroom floor. Deep down she knew her friends didn't love her. The clues were too obvious to deny. Whenever she would experience occasional hardship in her life they were among the first to say, "I told you so!" Being knocked to the ground by a unscrupulous stranger is one thing, but to be dragged through the mud by people who profess to love you is something different altogether.

"No one understands me." she said between sobs, "What do you do when your best isn't good enough?"

That was a great question. It was a question asked by a fragile heart riddled with years of disappointment.
A question that could not be glossed over with some generic, garden variety response that would provide temporary relief but no lasting benefit. I twirled a few of her curly locks between my fingers while I searched for a reply.
I spoke the two words that came to mind:
"Do better."
She looked up at me with those tear filled eyes.
"Do better?" she quietly whispered, "but I always give them my best."
Sigh...
Step back, I'm going in...

"Doing your best for people ill-inclined to recognize your efforts is like comparing a banjo to a violin. Both have strings and both are capable of producing music, but the sound quality, tonality and pitch will vary greatly. Whereas one is considered rather common, the other has an air of sophistication and class. So it is with people. Sometimes "doing better" simply means upgrading your audience. not altering the way you play."
"But they have always been there for me all along, I can't just let them go." she sniffled.
"Venereal diseases have been there for you all along too, but you seem to have avoided them pretty nicely."
"Ew, that's disgusting. You're crazy, Vincent!" she giggled.
At least the sun was beginning to break through the clouds.
"You appoint the people you want close to your heart and you redesignate the ones you do not. Real friends serve as "kickstands" when you lean. Fake friends just "kick". ( and figuratively speaking, this girl had a gang of footprints on her back) "The point I am making is that you have the power to choose."
"It's not that simple. You make it sound so easy." she whined.
"Definitely not easy, but absolutely possible. Let's start by getting you off this bathroom floor and into that shower. You smell."

After her bath we left the estate and painted the town. There is so much to do in LA and needless to say we had a marvelous time. A few weeks later I was rummaging through a stack of letters when I happened to come across this particular ditty. Eyeing the envelope I knew exactly who it was from... It read:

Update: Dear Vincent, three months have passed since our last rendezvous and I am happy to report that I have regained my strength! My new reality show is about to debut on a major network, I have met exciting new friends (and have added a couple million to the bank account) I feel it safe to say, thanks to you, that I have a new outlook on life! Thanks for the great advice and if you aren't doing anything this weekend I would love to fly you out to Aruba to celebrate! I hope to see you in a few days.Hugs and kisses ... Lisa R.

I smiled as I refolded the letter and placed it over the fireplace.

"Aruba, here I come."

How To Attract Beautiful Women

2016-02-04T18:07:00.001-08:00

The Alpha female usually surrounds herself with less attractive females. This method proves beneficial to all involved. It works for the Alpha female because it assures that she will be the most desired and sought after woman in the group. It helps her "underlings" because they will benefit from the added attention by association. To get to the Alpha you must first penetrate the pack and that can be a most daunting challenge, but today I will share my time tested technique of infiltration.
Remember: Men are more logical than women but the laws that govern attraction follow no clear patterns of logic.
Strategy: Set her apart from her friends, but for all the wrong reasons.(Keep in mind that she is accustomed to a lot of attention so her experiences will be different than theirs)
Goal: To be viewed and discussed in a positive light once you leave.
Now you may be thinking. "All this sounds great, Vincent, but I have no game."
Relax, I am getting ready to share with you a well guarded trick of the trade that works ninety-five percent of the time. Before I teach you this technique, I must first warn you that confidence is key. So, even if you perfect everything I am about to share with you, but you lack the confidence required for execution: you will FAIL. That being said, let us get to the heart of the matter...

The Approach: Be certain of your choice before you start your approach. Last minute changes after you've committed could work against you. Walk to the table with a smile. Greet them as a unit and start a conversation. Personally, I would recommend something along these lines...

"Hello. You look like a group of intelligent, able-minded women. Perhaps you could give me some insight on something I overheard today...

This method works because you have successfully engaged the whole clan. At this point, singling out one over the others could be considered disrespectful and earn you "buster" points. Once you collect a few "BP'"s from one clan member others usually follow.

Listen: It really doesn't matter what the others have to say, the only opinion you are interested in is the Alpha. Agree with everyone until she, (Alpha), speaks, then strongly disagree with her. Respectfully argue your point against hers. This display promotes friction and personal interaction. She is used to men agreeing with her to get in her good graces, but your ability to hold your ground will arouse her. There is also a good chance of her girlfriends siding with you since you agreed with their points earlier.It is important to know when to stop this back and forth banter, because you don't want to appear brutish. As you prepare to leave, thank the group for their time and valuable insight. Make a remark to the Alpha along the lines of:
"I would give you my number if I didn't think you would stalk me!"
This will usually spark an equally witty and flirtatious response. If it does, you're in there.

At this point walk away. Do not disturb them again. If you should happen to know other people attending the event hang with them, if not, locate other attractive people and blend in. Trust me, the table is talking about you and the Alpha female is covertly tracking your movements.

There are several ways to close this deal of deliberate attraction. I will suggest one method and leave the others to your own resourcefulness and imagination.

Closing the Deal: If you have friends attending the event, go "borrow the Alpha" for a few minutes and make introductions. (If you are attending alone, the method works the same way) Introduce her as the most fascinating woman you have met in a while and casually suggest exchanging contact information. In my experience, whatever you write down on a piece of paper she will unconsciously mirror it. I would suggest a name and email address since most people will ask for a phone number.

This is only one of many available techniques, but if properly applied this one will work wonders in increasing your dating success.

Gigolo Basic Training 101

2016-02-04T18:03:00.003-08:00

Today, I will teach you the methodology of securing and seducing an older woman.

First, let's identify the prey.

Women sexually peak much later in life than men. In that truism lies the potential for a beautiful, if not perfect, storm. The older and more successful a woman becomes, so do her sexual needs and allowances. Her traditional definition of a man takes a backseat to advanced age and diminishing options.

Step One: After identifying the target, remain patient until she notices you. Older women are not bashful and will approach a man who piques their interest. Never, under any circumstance, initiate the wallet, fore whoever pays for the first anything establishes that pattern for the duration of the relationship. (Most men make this fatal mistake). After a while, pretend you have someplace to go. (This is called the sink and hook). Notice her reaction... What's her physiology? Has she been invading your personal space? Has she touched you often? If she has slightly parted her legs while talking to you, it's a subconscious cue she is sexually attracted. Do not proceed further until you notice these signs.

Step Two: Showcase your charisma. Talk about the novel you are writing or the hunting expedition you shall soon be undertaking. Most of the men her age are stable and predictable, appealing to a young girl but does not appeal to an older woman's desire for adventure and risk. The timing of your first intimate contact must be impeccable, as most women will remember even the most minute details of a first kiss.

Step Three: Project a sense of struggle. As long as you can evoke the image of a suffering young man, you are golden. She does not want to hear that you are winning. (that's what older men are for). Eventually, her maternal disposition kicks in, followed by her purse strings. Tread carefully, though. If you are too eager, she will run; she will be confused too slow. If you have been playing your cards right, she should be paying your rent and other miscellaneous living expenses when you reach this milestone.

Step four: Exploit her sexuality. An experienced woman with raging hormones can provide all sorts of carnal delights. Your imagination is an open invitation to the willing older woman. When a woman owns her body, she can even turn the missionary position into an extraordinary experience.

If you are worth your salt, you will have her religiously talking about you to her other affluent girlfriends.

The conflicting desire to be with her yet be on your own so that you may finally come into yourself is called "continual resistance," and it is vital. If she believes this ruse, she will physically introduce you to her friends (to get their vote of confidence) before she openly declares her love and desire to move in with you.

Hold steady!

For far greater treasure, embrace the temporary discomfort that awaits the patient and wise. An older woman has access to a world of social and professional opportunity that youth cannot even begin to fathom. Age is like a secret society, proving to be a limitless source of possibility to its members. Undoubtedly the woman has changed her career path at least once, likewise her friends. She has carefully accumulated contacts and favors. One need not know the cost of patronage if one knows the patron. And one need not be her child to partake of the motherly affections of help and promotion an older woman offers. Both emboldened by your strong back and her newly found sexual prowess, she will help you succeed, motivated by the fear that her boy toy could up and leave her at a moment's notice.

Never say that you do not love her, which, by default, means that you never tell her you to love her, either.

A real job is counter-productive as a well-played game of gigolo can provide you with all of your material needs and creature comforts.

Lastly, avoid the game killer:

GREED.

Should one of her girlfriends happen to one day call you out of the blue, be cautious. It is either a trap or an invitation to a more lucrative arrangement. Not knowing the difference proves financially fatal.

Point to Ponder: You will only be as valuable as your ability to stay out of reach and provide consistent excitement, fear, and crises, so it is well-advised that you keep that chest and those abs firmly in place.

What Men REALLY Want

2016-02-04T04:03:00.004-08:00

The Zone of Enchantment (Z.O.E.): noun; definition. YOUR VAGINA.

The Heart Attack: adj; definition. A MAN'S ROMANTIC RESPONSE TOWARDS YOU.

Here goes...

The only thing men want from you is your vagina.

This simple truth is so hard for most women to comprehend. Even though I am one of the most sought-after "Men for Hire" in the country, most women reading this post will REFUSE to believe me. They will allow their over-romanticized inner child to continuously deceive them into waiting on a Prince Charming that will never come.

It warrants repeating.

Ladies...

The one thing you possess that men want most is your VAGINA!!!

If you did not possess a vagina, most men would not deal with you... period.

It's true.

Instead of accepting this truth, you would rather make it about your heart, emotions, or ability to inject companionship into his life. (all of which can be attained by simply joining a local men's club or buying a dog). No, HE wants your "Z.O.E.," and YOU want him to have a Heart Attack. Since these are two entirely opposing objectives, they collide. Women bring too much emotional expectation to the table that threatens to challenge the man's unspoken motto:

"When you want to talk, call a friend. When you want to @#%$; call me."

Let's talk biology... notice how our bodies are designed.

Men are "punchers," and women are "receivers," On some level, we are constantly at war.

No matter how tough you are, if you "receive" enough "punches" to the gut, you are going down.

Imagining that you can offer your sex in exchange for his heart is like squaring off in the ring with a professional fighter. You may last a few rounds and even manage to score a few points, but eventually, you will end up lying flat on your back. The question now becomes, "Where do you go from here?"

Answer this. "How has your state of thinking worked out for you?" If the man of your dreams is a permanent fixture in your life, I congratulate you. But if you are tired of walking around the same mountain of discontent and want to attract a "real" man into your life, use his desire to your advantage and e.t.c...which stands for...

Erase the Coochie... pretend it doesn't even exist.

It will not be easy, especially if "giving it up" has been your primary pattern in the past, but when you close the Z.O.E, you increase the odds of a Heart Attack! Men are wired to "Chase the Cat." He brings cards, candy, and flowers during that chase. Romantic dinners, good conversation, walks in the park. He makes time for you, talks to you all hours of the night, and makes himself available to your every whim....are you starting to get the picture? All these things are romantic keys used to pick the lock of your Zoe. You possess (and will keep) this incredible power to influence his heart attack until the moment he picks your lock. It goes downhill because you have played the only actual card you had in your hand. Now, if you complain, it's on to the next one.

Point to ponder: We don't get what we deserve; we get what we negotiate. Keep your power.

Men are DOGS

2016-02-04T04:00:00.000-08:00

3-2-1...
"Happy New Year!" the crowd screamed in unison as the ball reached the end of its descent.
"Happy New Year, indeed." I said aloud as I tapped the off button on the remote control.
Despite the usual requests and carnal invitations, I had decided to bring in the new year alone.
"I need a Nespresso." I thought to myself as I sat on the couch wiggling my toes.
It was at that moment the red light on my answering machine started to blink...
"It can wait, Vincent." whispered the little voice inside my head.
The purpose of staying in tonight was to self reflect.
NEVERTHELESS...
Every red flash piqued my interest all the more.
Since the call bypassed my mobile and went straight to my machine, it had to be urgent.
"Vincent, this is Eva. Call me. It's important!"
Normally I wait a few hours before returning a call, but her voice suggested that I abandon protocol.
She picked up on the first ring.
"It's a brand new year and I have been through so much with this damn man...
"Eva."
"There is no way in hell I am going to let him treat me like a fool! If he thinks...
"Eva..."
" Look at me. I have options! Any man would feel lucky to have me on his arm and...
"EVA, SHUT UP!"
Perhaps she was not accustomed to being told to shut up or maybe she had never before heard me raise my voice.
Either way she calmed down and collected herself.
"That's better. Now, what's going on?"
"I apologize for losing my cool like that." she said. "Its just that I don't get this man! He does everything wrong!"
Oh,oh.
Whenever I hear the words "never", "always", "everything"...it's usually a sure sign of relational dysfunction. (As a matter of fact, those are the words I often zero in on when attracting business.)
We can discuss that later. Let's get back to Eva...
"How does he irk you?" I asked.
She exploded like a time bomb...
"He never makes me feel like the center of his attention. He never compliments me or tells me how attractive I am. Everything he does revolves around other women. He's such a flirt!"
The litany continued for several minutes concluding with,
"He is such a dog!"
"A dog?"
"Yes! A dog."
"Good for you." I simply replied.
She did not anticipate that response...
"What the hell is wrong with you, Vincent! How is any of that good for me?"
"Well, you called him a dog. That's a VERY good thing."
While her mental gears were still processing that statement, I continued.
"It's not at all a bad thing to compare your man to a dog. In every instance you complained about earlier, what was the one thing that remained consistent?"
"That he was a butt-hole?" she offered.
"Or, I retorted, that he kept coming home...
"I'm not following you, Vincent."
I decided to go a little deeper.
"Is it safe to assume that you reminded him of "everything" he was doing wrong?"
"Yes, I did! If I didn't tell him, how would he know how to change?
"Eva, you are a nag. And being nagged is like being slowly pecked to death by a duck."
I was already in a hole. I might as well keep digging...
"Loyal, protective, loving, faithful, and attentive are just a few adjectives used to describe the common traits of a dog. They are known as "man's best friend" are rarely obstinate and consistently dependable. Depending on the particular breed of dog they will even fight, risking losing their life to save yours."
"Interesting, she said. Keep going."
"Okay. Now let's look at the antics of a puppy. Puppies play. They hardly follow instructions and pretty much do whatever they want to do. Puppies are impatient and can become destructive when they do not receive adequate attention. When dealing with a puppy, you quickly learn that it's not about you, it's all about him. I would venture to say that you have rarely dealt with a devoted dog, you've entertained playful puppies."
Several seconds passed in silence. She was thinking.
"Wow, puppies..." she said. Not dogs, but puppies!"
She erupted in laughter.
"I never thought of it that way!"
"Most women don't."
"Well, do you have any puppy training tips to offer?"
"Yes. Be patient. It takes time, but eventually all puppies grow into adult dogs."
"I think I can do that. Thanks, Vincent!"
"Sure. And since we are on the subject of tips..."
"I know, I know. Geez! One day I'm not not going to need your advice."
"I'm sure, but in the meantime, cash or credit card will suffice."
"You are a dweeb."
I contemplated giving her the definition of that word, but decided against it.
"Coming from you, I'll take that as a compliment." I said.
"And, Eva?"
"Yes, Vincent?"
"Happy New Year."

Gigolo vs Escort...Bear Kills Lion

2016-02-04T03:55:00.001-08:00

It's rare that I make the time to debunk the many myths and stereotypes that surround this profession. After all, men of my caliber and skill are rarely romantically encountered outside of the very close knit circles we inhabit. That leaves room for copycats and wannabes. The general consensus is that Escorts and Gigolos are one and the same. This could not be further from the truth. The thread that binds us is that we both screw. The divide that separates us is that we do it differently. The former screws the body, the latter, the mind.
Time to elaborate...
BOTH Gigolos and Escorts are predators. I will liken them to a Polar bear and Lion. There is no denying that both animals are Alpha on their respective turf. The prime differentiator is technique and selection of prey.
The Escort
Escorts are like lions. They are very formidable, but they go after weaker prey. Their style is to ambush and attack from behind. They generally hunt in groups called a pride. One of the major techniques of lions is to isolate their prey from the pack. They do this by carefully studying the "herd" and when a slower, less capable member is identified, they make their move. Escorts usually hunt in "packs". They have established beforehand who will do what. After laying back and surveying various groups of women, they select the weakest team and further isolate the weakest members of that team. A pride of lions instinctively know that more that one "meal" can be scored among a weak clan if the herd is properly separated. Usually the weaker group will have several members who suffer from some form of insecurity. Insecure women are generally strong as a unit, but fragile as individuals. Once isolated, the unsuspecting victim has little defense against the sharp claws and teeth of the Escorts charm. What usually ensues is unbridled, mind-blowing sex. And once a woman experiences that...
#GAME OVER.
Most of her treasure is methodically drained through the gaping hole of her exploited sexuality. The Escorts victory is usually short-lived, though. The largest sexual organ a woman possesses is her brain and eventually that organ will need ample stimulation as well.
IMPRESSIVE, nevertheless. Next on deck...
The Gigolo
It's not by accident that the elusive Gigolo is compared to the magnificent Ursus maritimus. The very sight of the "Christmas" bear disarms your defenses and makes you want to have a Coke and a smile. How can something so cute be dangerous? Polar bears are loners and are extremely confident in their ability to subdue. The fact that Polar bears are seldom seen in groups makes identifying them in the wild a very difficult feat, (Unless,of course, you know where to look...)
Sea bears are not intimidated by the size and status of any of the prey it pursues. As a matter of fact, it usually hunts the largest member of the herd because it knows the larger the score, the longer the sustenance. A Polar bear's strength is in its ability to appear passive. The way it slides around on the ice and plays in snow are all tools it uses to deceive its prey. Why on earth should a wealthy woman with influence and status fear a charismatic, confident man who playfully mingles among the other prominent guests, while barely paying her any attention? She doesn't... until it's too late...
Most wealthy women are used to getting whatever they want, most Gigolos are expert at denying them. The Gigolo is a master of the "dangling carrot" ruse and uses it, quite effectively, to his advantage. Gigolos realize that a woman's sexuality can wane with time, but her imagination is timeless.
Tale of the tape
In the end the major difference between the two professions boils down to longevity. Although an escort is able to satisfy the temporary physical needs of his socially insecure host, he has yet to develop the skill set required to indefinitely manipulate the insatiable craving of her minds. The Gigolo, on the other hand, has...
Conclusion
Escorts achieve a life, Gigolos acquire lifestyles and there is a big difference between the two.

Male P.M.S.

2014-01-31T21:24:00.001-08:00

Harmed and Extremely Dangerous

2014-01-04T17:18:00.001-08:00

It was somewhere around 2:45 a.m. when my cell phone rang. I was having trouble sleeping so I decided to swim a few laps to work off some tension.
"Hello, Vincent. I was expecting to get your answering machine."
It was Robin, (not her real name) she was the fiance of a very popular NBA superstar. I have entertained Robin on many occasions but our friendship was strictly platonic. Women of rich and powerful men are my best clients because they usually have a lot of free time on their hands.
"What are you still doing up, is everything okay?" she continued.
"I'm fine Robin. What may I do for you?"
The world knew all about her fiances admitted sexual indiscretions. I admired how she loyally stood by his side during these public displays of personal humiliation. Forgiving as she was, everyone had a breaking point. Apparently she had reached hers.
"Vincent, I can't take it anymore. All the groupies, the constant affairs...I thought he loved me!"
"What makes you think otherwise?" I asked while slipping on my bathrobe and walking towards the house.
"Because if he loved me he wouldn't take me for granted! No matter how much I give he always expects more."
My radar went off...
"How is his relationship with his mother?" I inquired.
"Its great. Their relationship is one of the main reasons I started dating him in the first place."
BINGO, she had been looking in the wrong place! I sat down as I allowed my mind to formulate an answer. Less than a minute had passed before I began to speak.
"Robin, you have made the same fatal mistake millions of women make every day by focusing on how well a man treats his mother. The focal point should be how his mother treat him.
"That seems backward, why would I want to focus on that? she retorted.
"I've always heard that a man who respects his mother will respect his woman."
"And how has that been working out for you?" I asked.
I would have assumed she hung up the phone if not for the faint, steady breaths I heard on the other end of the receiver. I cleared my throat and proceeded to expand my paradigm.
"Many men have been "harmed" by their mothers during childhood. They were not literally abused they, rather, were emotionally handicapped. Their matriarch offered an unrealistic model that carried over into adulthood. Harmful men were once spoiled boys. They were coddled and fussed over and bad behavior, no matter how deviant, was largely overlooked. These men anger easily and often use silly mind games to control and manipulate. These men work their own agenda and expect their woman to never question, but to silently accept their foolishness. After all, they have employed these same tactics, with much success, on their own mothers. These men are harmed and extremely dangerous to your emotional health.
"Wow, he is just like that!" she exclaimed.
"And I bet you've heard him say, "Who are you talking to, my own mama don't talk to me like that!"
"All the time." she confirmed.
"That was your first signal to immediately assess the situation and quickly realize that you were entertaining a monster. It was then that everything he owned should have been placed in the box to the left. This fellow never learned to construct relationships, he only knows how to manufacture situations and unfortunately many ladies do not know the difference between the two."
"Well, now that I do, you have given me a lot to think about...Thanks for being there...again"
"No, problem. And Robin?"
"Yes, Vincent?"
" Add a extra $5000 dollars to my fee for calling after hours."
"Are you serious? she laughed, I guess it was worth it."
"I'm always worth it." I whispered into the receiver before hanging up the phone.

She never learned to speak Pig Latin

2014-01-04T17:15:00.002-08:00

Out of the blue a former client rang my phone. It had been several months since we had last spoken and, contrary to the rules that govern our profession, I had a certain fondness for her. It was nice to hear her voice.
"Hello." I casually spoke into the receiver.
"Vincent, I've met this wonderful man!" she exclaimed.
"Well, hello to you too... "
"I'm sorry, please forgive my manners. I'm just so excited!"
"Apparently."
"I'll get straight to the point. His name is Jeremy and I want you to meet him."
Now, I have entertained my share of strange requests over the years, but meeting a former client's new lover was usually where I drew a line in the sand. Talk about "conflict of interest".
"I don't think that's a good idea..." I protested.
"Pleeease! She pleaded.
"You are such a good judge of character and I want your honest opinion.
"I really do not think..."
"PLEEEEEASE!
Sigh. Who could resist that?
"Okay." I agreed.
Jealousy is a beast seldom conquered, rarely tamed. She wanted to bring him to the abode but I strongly objected. Not too many people know the whereabouts of the Bat Cave and I prefer it that way. We decided to meet at her place instead. I pulled my "Bach" next to her Bentley and rang the doorbell. Jeremy arrived fifteen minutes later to find Christina and I enjoying cheese and wine on the first floor patio. Her face literally lit up when she saw him. He was tall, handsome and fit. I could see why Christina would be attracted to him. I stood and smiled as he approached the table.
"Oh, darling I'm so glad to see you! This is my friend, Mytou. I've told him all about you."
"Good things I hope." he said as he extended his hand to me. He had a strong handshake. Maybe a little too strong...
"Dear, do you mind if I talk to you for a second in private?" he said as he took Christine's hand in his and pulled her close.
"It will only take a second."
Indeed. A second was all it took for me to see past that charming smile and notice that glint in his eye. Immediately a phrase popped into my mind. I looked directly at Christina.
"Angerday,etgay outay." I said.
"Pardon me?" she smiled as she nuzzled into Jeremy's chest.
"I didn't know that you were bi-lingual. What did you just say, Vincent?"
"Angerday, etgay utoay". I repeated.
"In English,silly."
"Sweetheart, I'm sure Mr. Love has other things he could be doing besides teaching you a foreign language." interrupted Jeremy.
"Besides, I still need to speak with you in private."
Christina asked if I would mind waiting a few minutes while she and her "prince" stepped inside for a moment. I declined citing another appointment I had coming up within the hour. I shook Jeremy's hand and told him it was a pleasure meeting him. (I lied) and I briefly hugged Christina. While she was in my arms I softly repeated the phrase again.
"Angerday, eygay outay."
I still remember the confused look she had in her eyes. I fondled with my keys as I sat in the Jag. Maybe I should go back and interpret. Better still, maybe I should mind my own business.
I put on my shades, turned on the radio and drove away.

The Hidden Mistress

2014-01-04T17:12:00.005-08:00

She's out there, lurking in the shadows, masterfully avoiding detection. Invisible to the eyes of most women, she patiently waits. Like the mythological Siren, she lures husbands and boyfriends away from the sanctity of their homes with her sweet, enchanted song. "Come to me, she boasts, "The juice is much more plentiful on my vine and the nectar twice as sweet!"

"Didn't you hear me talking to you, where is your mind?"

He is suddenly jolted back to reality by "The Nag."

"You never listen to me when I'm talking to you. I swear you act just like a baby! One of these days, I'm gonna...

Her voice fades away as his own thoughts increase...

"She's been at me all day...why am I still here? Nothing I do is ever good enough to please this woman!"

"I don't have to put up with this!" he yelled.

Plop.

The words fell from his lips like a drop of blood into the ocean. She identifies her prey. In all her years, she has never changed her lure. She is remarkably patient, and she never pursues. Instead, her victims willingly lay their lives at her enticing feet. She begins her process.

Step One: She befriends him. She offers no resistance, only a listening ear. He can't speak to his partner because all she does is critique and fault find. Besides, everybody needs a "friend."

Step Two: She compliments him OFTEN. She tells him how lucky his woman is at home for scoring such a catch. If he were her man, she would definitely know how to treat him. The sweet smell of her perfume lingers in his mind...Some women just don't realize what they have...

Step Three: She complains about how lonely she is. At this point, she becomes the exact opposite of what he has at home. She mentions how she would give her man plenty of space if she had one, and subtle hints at how good and freaky she is in bed almost certainly helps her victim rise to the challenge...

Step four: ( THIS IS THE MOST LETHAL STEP OF HER PROCESS) She offers an innocent invitation to dinner at her place one evening. She promises it will be their little secret... THEN SHE WAITS for her phone to ring.

It's not long after this invite that her adversary (the lady of the house) realizes her destruction. He doesn't pay her any attention, and her rants fall on deaf ears and a hard heart. Things quickly unravel between them as he packs his bags and leaves. Her relationship has been demolished. Completely dissolved by the beck and call and temptation of this woman called... The "Streets."

You are too old for a boyfriend.

2014-01-04T17:10:00.003-08:00

If you are age thirty or above, then wake up. Either he's your MAN or he is not! What is a "boy" friend? Isn't that a term used to identify a childhood or adolescent playmate? No wonder you are frustrated. BOYfriends don't pay bills. They don't cook you dinner or buy you gifts. They are not required to celebrate holidays or remember special dates such as birthdays or anniversaries. No, their primary role is to PLAY. That is what boys do, they play. What you want is a leader. Someone who is responsible and accountable. You want a person of the male gender who is able to effectively reciprocate action and emotion. You want a MAN. If you can relate to anything I just said, then I suggest you go home tonight and either kiss your man or spank your baby.

Don't Get too Comfortable

2014-01-04T17:06:00.003-08:00

It amazes me how easy it is to manipulate a situation once you understand a few basic principles.
Principle: Do Not Get Too Comfortable With Your Partner.
The Ming Dynasty vases, her collection of Rembrandt and Picasso paintings and the shiny new Rolls Royce parked outside immediately told me that the woman had exquisite taste. Her husband was an international banker and had provided her with all the finer things in life. Even so, I was a consistent fixture in her inner circle. It was easy for my trained eye to notice why; the man was sloppy.
He was ignorant to the rules.
Rule: Acquiring is easier than maintaining.
No doubt her husband had pulled all the stops in his initial pursuit, but once he acquired her affection he dropped his guard. He started taking things for granted. Rich or not, she didn't like finding raggedy underwear laying in the middle of the floor or smelling his rancid behind because he didn't feel like showering or brushing his teeth before coming to bed. These are just a few signs that he had gotten too comfortable. Now I'm helping her spend his money.
Things To Avoid: Just a few simple actions would have kept me from his treasure...
* Do not allow the person in the bathroom when you are using it.
* Make sure you keep sexy underwear on hand and do not walk around naked.
* A nice fragrance, especially ones with pheromones, is a must.
* Give sincere compliments on a regular basis.
* Tell them how important they are to you and do it often.
Applying these five suggestions will go a long way towards maintaining the magic of your relationship. It's a shame this international banker didn't get the memo.
Point To Ponder: Take care of home or someone like me will.

W.I.F.M

2014-01-04T16:47:00.003-08:00

The sound of classic R&B greeted me as I opened the front door. I love Old School. It's nice to finally be home. "This is such an impractical color." I thought to myself as I slipped off my Italian loafers and into the plush Bally slippers I kept in the foyer. This routine was a royal pain, but I didn't want to risk staining the carpet. Alpaca is expensive enough, but white Alpaca is practically priceless. I moved through the formal sitting area past the dining room and into the kitchen, removing clothing along the way. I poured a glass of wine, made a bowl of fresh fruit and cashews, and retreated to my favorite recliner in the den. The last few hours had been rather hectic as I ducked and dodged the paparazzi in their futile attempts to photograph me. As these "Confessions of a Gigolo" posts grow in popularity, the risk of my discovery increases. As I sat in my chair, I began to evaluate myself. Why do I do what I do? The initial response would be the insane amount of money I collect for my services, but that's only the surface. Am I really that shallow?

Four letters came to mind as I probed deeper for the root cause. WIFM. Most of us tune into these call letters, some more than others, but we are all guilty of listening every now and again. WIFM checks our motives...it measures our character. Often times it displays our selfishness. Could this particular frequency be a major cause of relationship dysfunction? Whenever a person tries to manipulate or control the actions of others, they are tuning into this station. If you have ever said, "This is me, like it or not." or "It's my way or the highway, " you are a frequent listener and are probably single while reading this post. Suddenly my phone rang. It was Jennifer.

"I'm sorry about earlier, she said. "But ever since I got my divorce from ****, the media has been all over me."

"No problem, it comes with the territory," I answered.

"Are you sleepy? I will pay you three thousand dollars to come see me." she teased.

"How about I charge you ten thousand to come over here?" I countered.

"It's a deal! I'm getting in the car right now, see you in a few."

WIFM (What's In it For Me?) The money... I guess I am that shallow.

The 3i Principle for Healthy Relationships

2014-01-04T16:45:00.001-08:00

I apologize for my brief hiatus, I just needed a vacation. As I lay in my hammock swinging back and forth enjoying the cool Caribbean breeze, I relished the thought of traveling abroad unencumbered by the strains of a nagging companion. I was in the moment, unknown to the world and enjoying every second of it.
"Vincent! Omg! what are you doing here?"
"Damn..."
I knew that voice. I disguised my irritation as I raised to my elbows and squinted against the sun.
"Just trying to relax." I said. It's been a while. How is your son?"
"Growing like a weed. He's almost two."
"Wow. And the S.O. (significant other)?"
"He's cool." she said while drawing a figure eight in the sand with her toes.
Being the astute professional I am, I immediately picked up on her unspoken dismay.
"Talk." I said.
She continued her drawing as if she hadn't heard me.
It was obvious she was having a moment, but time was money and I was off the clock so...
"Lindsay, It was nice seeing you again, but I..."
"He's a jerk! she finally said. Her anger was undeniable.
"From the very beginning he pushed himself on me!"
Sigh, I was stuck. The only thing I could do was play this thing out.
"Excuse me." I said to the attendant as she passed in front of me.
"I will have two Saratogas, one with a slice of cucumber."
"Certainly, Mr. Love."
As we waited for our spring water, Lindsay ranted on about how helpless and distant she felt towards her mate. It instantly dawned on me that she was totally unaware if the 3i principle.
"The three principles? she innocently asked. "Who are they?"
I smiled as I began my explanation...

The 3i principle:
Imagine your partner going to the park looking to play ball."
"Okaaaay..." she said looking somewhat puzzled.
"He has all of his equipment and is eager to play." I continued.
"You noticed him approaching the fence(when you first met him), but as far as you were concerned, he was an "intruder" so you ignored him."
"Ignored? Hell, no! I would have called the police!" she blurted.
"Lindsay..."
"I'm sorry, Vincent. Go on."
"Thank you... Now, instead of leaving he stays, eventually making his way from behind the fence and onto the field. You "included" him in the game when you accepted his first date. You didn't readily appoint him Captain, but you did like the way he played the game. After a few victories, you completely turned over the play book and allowed him to meet your son. Your lives had become "infused" with one another's and he was elected a permanent member of the team. If it did not flow in that order, then it was out of order". I concluded.
"That doesn't sound anything like what happened over here!" she lamented.
Our conversation was interrupted by the soft chirp of her cell phone. It was her sitter announcing an issue with her child. Apparently he'd confused the bar of hotel soap with a piece of candy.
"That boy will eat anything! she said over her shoulder as she hurried along the sand. "Maybe I will see you later this evening!"
I pulled my shades over my eyes and leaned back into my hammock.
"Not if I see you first." I thought.

Loving on Credit. What's your score?

2014-01-04T16:43:00.003-08:00

I sat on the passenger seat of a brand new apple red Ferrari, visibly on edge as we peeled out of the parking lot of Prestige Imports and onto Biscayne Blvd. Ariana was one of my younger clients. She was making her mark as an up-and-coming software designer, and although she was not as wealthy as my other patrons, she was well on her way.

"I'm so glad I was approved for that auto loan, she exclaimed. "I can't wait to show this baby to my friends!"

My attention drifted inward as my mind formulated an interesting analogy... Loving on credit.

Fact: Most relationships operate...on a subconscious credit system.

There is a sense of ownership that accompany status symbols. Automobiles, homes, expensive jewelry...all add to the importance of accomplishment and the feeling that one has undoubtedly arrived. You finally have it all! That's the illusion of good credit...

"Did you even hear a word I said?" snapped Ariana."It's like I'm over here talking to myself."

In my profession, an occasional fib is acceptable.

So I lied...

"I heard every word you said, sweetheart. Continue."

(Now, where were we? Oh yeah.)

Let's go deeper.

When you emotionally fall for a person, you "buy" that relationship on credit. You get to test drive it, take it home, and use it any way you like. Being free to handle the merchandise in such a manner creates a false sense of security. You begin to believe that you actually own these items, but in reality, you do not; the BANK does. You are simply a borrower, and they will never belong to you until you pay the total price of ownership; they only appear to be yours. This can be proven by neglecting a few payments. See how long it takes before the valid owner comes to repossess their property. So it is with love. No matter how excited you are about that new relationship, in the beginning, that person will never belong to you until you eventually pay the total price over time. Miss a few payments by consistently mistreating them and seeing how long they stick around. It takes time to develop great credit (or a great relationship), and it takes time to maintain or destroy it.

'It's so responsive. I can let go of the wheel, and it would drive itself!"

I tightly closed my eyes.

Beware of impulse buying.

This type of spending usually leaves us holding a bag of regret. We saw something that we thought we wanted and made a quick, emotional decision without thoroughly weighing our options. Now you're stuck. Often, the first deal is not the best, and hasty decisions leave us paying for some undesired thing. (usually for eighteen years and longer), with the precious years of our life. These headaches could have been avoided if we had only taken a Kit Kat moment. Window shop (date) and come back tomorrow. It's wise to slow down to be sure because time wasted is time lost.

"This thing can fly! We're almost at the beach, Vincent."

"I see, and it was a lot more comfortable than riding your broomstick."

"I bet you wish I were riding your broomstick. Let's see you use that smart mouth later on tonight."

Final thought... Be honest with yourself.

Do a self-evaluation. You know your drama better than anyone else does. Would you really date yourself? If not, change. You must first become the type of person you are hoping to attract. I hate to be blunt, but if you are perpetually attracting losers, the apple isn't falling too far from the tree.

I smiled as we skidded to a stop. Not that I was fazed by the faces of the gawkers as we raised the doors and stepped from the belly of the high-performance beast, I was smiling because I was still in one piece. I smoothed the wrinkles in my white linen shirt as I walked around, grabbed Ariana by her waist, and looked her dead in her soft green eyes.

'Why wait until later when I can put my smart mouth to use right now?"

How to Survive a break-up.

2014-01-04T16:38:00.003-08:00

It’s difficult to imagine Batman without Robin, Sherlock without Holmes, and Scooby without Doo… Yet the loss of your significant other may have left you feeling like a superhero with no sidekick. After all, a break up is something that was reserved for “other people” until it knocked on your front door. At some point in time, we all have experienced the emotional pain, disappointment and sense of loss caused by a break up. And if you haven’t, keep on living; you’ll get your chance! It’s inevitable. As long as you choose to romantically engage another human being you will eventually be told (or end up telling} someone to kick rocks. At first, you may feel you can’t survive without the familiar support and comfort of your ex lover, but you can! Reaching the fork in the road doesn’t have to leave you stranded on the “highway of love “. Following these two suggestions will work wonders in helping you get back on your feet in no time.

Step one: CRY. In a situation like this, it’s okay to be a big baby. Tears cleanse the soul. The tendency to internalize your frustration only lengthens the recovery process. It happened. He or she is gone and it HURTS! Take as much time as you need to embrace this reality. Moving forward too quickly could cause you to carry excessive baggage into your next relationship. It’s never a good idea to make someone pay for another person’s mistakes. It may seem callow, but it works. So, forgive yourself. Have “one last cry” and leave it there.

Step Two: Rediscover your identity. It’s easy to lose yourself in a relationship. Often times we were so preoccupied with the other person that we lost sight on our own uniqueness. If we will be honest, most of us could admit to initially adding or subtracting significant portions of our personality to appease the object of our affection. Now that we are single, we may find ourselves in a stupor. We often can’t think past the other person as to what it took to make us happy. When we were in a relationship we were happily engaged in the task of “molding” our partner into the shape we wanted them to be in. It never really dawned on us that, in the process, we were being molded, by them, as well. Reconnect with your individuality; get back to being you.

The STD most men hide...

2012-08-08T13:50:00.001-07:00

Today one of my clients looked like she had just sucked a lemon. Now as a gigolo with seventeen years in the business, I have been privy to many intimate conversations with women from all walks of life. Today, my client asked me how she, an attractive, educated, and well established professional was having a hard time getting her "man" to take their relationship to the next level. One question revealed the whole story.
"Are the both of you dating other people?" I asked.
"Yes, we see other people, but I don't have the same connection with anyone else." she replied.
Her diagnosis was simple. She was an acute S.T.D. while S.O.S. I thought she was going to slap me.
"I do not have an emergency case of a sexually transmitted disease. I'm smart enough to use protection!" she exclaimed.
Now, I was happy to hear she practiced safe sex, but the S.T.D. S.O.S I was referring to was an acronym. Something To Do while Stuck On Stupid. This lady had fallen victim to a charismatic charm and personality and had been willing to share those goodies with other women.
If you are allowing a man to actively date other women in front of your face, why do you expect it to go to another level? What's the point of buying a single cow when he can have a pasture full of milk?
Tip for the day: Don't line dance, when you want to two step.

He said "I love you." then punched her in the face...

2012-08-08T13:41:00.002-07:00

"Damn it!" he said as he punched his fist through the bedroom drywall.
This was the third time in less than a month that he had taken his frustration out on an inanimate object. Where were these sudden outbursts of anger coming from? When she first met Joe he was so gentle, kind, attentive... She remembered their Genesis. It amused her how meticulous he was. Whenever they strolled through the park, he would actually alter his footsteps to avoid stepping on an insect.
"Girl, he wouldn't hurt a fly." she used to tell her friends. You can imagine her surprise the first time he punched her in the face...
Her intuition told her to run, her emotions suggested she wait.
She STAYED...
It had been such a long time since she had been in a relationship, most men just wanted to play games, but not Joe. He had pursued her like she was the last woman on Earth. An insatiable thirst drew him to her waters. He was generous with his wallet and compliments and the twinge of jealousy he displayed whenever he felt another man was pushing up on his territory turned her on! Men didn't react like that if they didn't care; did they? Large hands caressing the small of her back, moist lips and tender kisses against the nape of her neck...
Most nights they made love into the wee hours of the morning. He was the man of her dreams.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
"I'm sorry, honey. Please open the door."Joe pleaded from outside her bedroom window.
"I've been a jerk. I promise this will be the last time you will ever have to deal with something like this, please let me in."
She remained silent.
"I brought you a gift.. please, baby, we can work this out... I love you!"
Those three words melted her heart. Was he actually crying?
"He isn't that bad, he's just been under a lot of pressure lately." she reasoned.
Her black eye and bruised cheek were just beginning to heal...
"Baby, please." he said as he wiped the tears from his face.
"I refuse to live my life without you!"
The fear of loneliness compelled her to action.
"Don't do it!" cried an inner voice as she forced herself off the bed,
"Breathe..." she thought, her racing heart pumping blood much faster than it normally would.
"We're just going to talk"
Shaking hands and wobbly legs carried her towards the front door.
"Just one more chance, baby, I promise this will be the last time, open the door..."
Nobody is perfect, everyone deserved another chance. This time he really sounded sincere.
"Do you promise this will be the last time, Joe?"
"Yes, honey. I promise. I love you!"
"Don't do it!" the voice in her head pleaded.
"I love you too, baby!" she said as she unlocked the deadbolt and flung open the front door.
"I knew we could work things out, sweetheart!' she smiled.
The autumn night breeze that cooled her tear stained face was instantly replaced by the hot, searing pain of acid as it burned into her skin and melted her flesh.
"I told you this would be the last time you would go through this!" he said as he watched her beauty dissolve.
"Thanks to you, I finally became a man of my word."
She died.
Point to Ponder: Red flags signal danger for a reason; get out while you can.

For Men's eyes only...

2012-08-08T13:38:00.002-07:00

Gentlemen, gather around the Round Table as I expose a Crown Jewel of "the game".
Rule: A woman cannot help who she is attracted to.
She most certainly, however, controls how she manages that attraction. That's where the art of manipulation comes into play. In the realm of attraction, opposites attract and confidence is key. No woman likes a "yes" man. Set expectations for them to abide by and boundaries that must not be crossed.
Hard Truth: Women live by the unspoken notion that they are the prize to be attained and therefore expect men to cater to their every whim. Men who fall for this tactic seldom ever realize their own power. The truth is, men are in the minority and in high demand.
Fact: We do not have to jump through flaming hoops or compete for a woman's attention anymore. Unless they choose an alternative lifestyle they have no choice but to reassess their expectations and redefine outdated definitions of what modern day relationships consist of. In today's world, they have to compete for our attention and prove themselves worthy or sit on the sidelines alone.
Tip for the day: Make her work for your attention as hard as you're working for hers.

The Denny

2012-02-15T14:30:00.000-08:00

"Do you find me attractive?" she asked while standing in front of the full length mirror.
Relatively speaking, this woman was one of the most sought after actresses in Hollywood and after being featured on the cover of a magazine as "The Sexiest Woman Alive" a few years back, I thought she was trying to be funny.
"I'm here with you aren't I?"
"You're here because I'm paying you. Now please, answer the question."
Was she serious?
This has always vexed me; how, externally, the most beautiful "Dyme" can internally identify with a discarded penny. (I refer to them as Dennies) This single trait has kept me relevant and employed for many years.

Fact: Dennies have no problem at all getting a man, they just can't seem to keep one.

Your below average self esteem will eventually override your above average appearance.
Whenever that happens, prepare to travel the highway of love alone. External beauty has always dissolved to insignificance against the pale backdrop of emotional insecurity.
"Dennies'' cannot keep a man because they try too hard.
Are you a Dennie? Ask yourself these two questions...
"How hard was it to attract him in the first place?'
I assume about as hard as eating an Oreo cookie. Now ask yourself this:
"How have the dynamics changed from then until now?"
If you find that you have become a distrusting nag, you are a "Dennie".
That same man who pursued you like you were the last cup of water in the Sahara Desert will turn around and avoid you like a convict dodging the police if you evolve into this. Your mouth will render your face and physique insignificant. Sure, he can be replaced, but be honest, aren't you tired of going around the same old mountain, man after man, year after year? If so, get your sexy back AND KEEP It! Too many women these days relate their sex appeal to tight fitting clothing and how close they can get to being naked without being arrested for indecent exposure. If that's you, you're missing the bus. Sexy has and always will be a state of mind. Rediscover your value and start being the "Dyme" you were created to be.
Tip for the day: Lose your insecurity and find your man.

The best lovemaking position?

2011-12-07T19:46:00.001-08:00

The best lovemaking position?

It can be quite difficult to find the right one since men and women have different mind-blowing positions. Another fact that you should know about lovemaking is that you can intensify the sensation by moving one inch in either direction while doing the deed..

Attention to Female

Reverse Missionary –This is one of the best positions for women. It is the typical missionary position except the woman is on top. She assumes control and can stimulate areas such as the G-Spot and the clitoris. Gents, chivalry should be incorporated in lovemaking, so let your lady reach her plataeu first.

Bow wow wow, yippy yo, yippy yay!

Men are called “canines” for a reason. They LOVE the doggie style. It may not be as intimate as other positions since you cannot gaze into each other’s eyes, however, there are many sexual benefits this trade off allows. First, you can caress her breasts, back, neck, stomach and even her clitoris. Secondly, she can touch her own body and increase her sensation.

(Please note that guys are usually more visually stimulated than women so the view of their woman’s apple-shaped bottom floating back and forth in the air is nothing short of heaven. Men like to watch while doing the deed.)

You will find hundreds of lovemaking positions in books like Kama Sutra, but actually there are only about eight (with variation) that really spice things up. Variety is the spice of life and it is very important that you learn the sexual needs of your partner. Be adventurous and have fun exploring each others “zones of enchantment”.

How to Attract and Approach Beautiful Women...

2011-11-30T11:56:00.001-08:00

How to Survive a Break Up.

2011-11-06T16:42:00.000-08:00

It’s difficult to imagine Batman without Robin, Sherlock without Holmes, and Scooby without Doo… Yet the loss of your significant other may have left you feeling like a superhero with no sidekick. After all, a break up is something that was reserved for “other people” until it knocked on your front door. At some point in time, we all have experienced the emotional pain, disappointment and sense of loss caused by a break up. And if you haven’t, keep on living; you’ll get your chance! It’s inevitable. As long as you choose to romantically engage another human being you will eventually be told (or end up telling} someone to kick rocks. At first, you may feel you can’t survive without the familiar support and comfort of your ex lover, but you can! Reaching the fork in the road doesn’t have to leave you stranded on the “highway of love “. Following these three suggestions will work wonders in helping you get back on your feet in no time.

Step Three: Date. Enjoy your independence. Don’t get too serious with anyone too quickly. Know, in advance, that you may get hurt again, but living to avoid rejection is no life at all. Every relationship brings the possibility of pain, but we cannot live a life of fear. You deserve another chance. There is a world of people out there anxious to meet you! Why not give them the pleasure of making your acquaintance today?

There are many other methods that may be employed on your road towards redemption; I have outlined only a few. No matter what steps you personally decide to apply, the most important thing is that you keep moving forward. Keep the faith, you will become a Dynamic Duo again and eventually unite with your Peaches or Herb, your Hall or Oates, your Super or Man...

By: Dr. Mytou