Confessions Of A Latina Loquita

Babalu-Oh No!!

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Tue, 19 Nov 2013 02:02:00 +0000

I'm pretty sure that Luci & Desi roll over in their graves everyday this place is allowed to stay open and retain the name, Bablau's. Okay, I admit, maybe I'm jumping into the negative too quickly, so I’ll start slowly & nicely; something Bablau’s (a restaurant in the East Tremont section of the Bronx. I won't give the exact location because they don't need more attention than I'm already giving them with this blog) doesn't understand.

Positives: The waiters are really good. They were very attentive during my dining experience, and kept bringing over more of that garlicky white sauce for the chips. That’s probably the BEST thing they have here. The cocktails are also pretty good & pack a good punch for people trying to get tipsy fast. Who doesn't love a drink like that?

Semi-Positive: The food is okay. Everything tasted fine, but it’s not something I’d share with my friends and tell them they just have to go there. I’ve mainly gone back for that garlic sauce & the freestyle they play on Saturday’s. Though I would have appreciated if they'd explain that the dinner portions were NOT for sharing. Two friends of mine decided to share the Churrasco (which I remember being a much larger portion when I went at the beginning of this year.) When the food came out, my poor friends were left wide eyed staring at what was placed in front of them. A 4 year old could have eaten that meal on their own. However, they were at least satisfied with the taste of everything.

The NEGATIVE: Ahh, and here we are! My main reason for writing this review, is to actually review the Manager, and is why I feel that they don’t deserve to have the “wholesome” name of, Babalu’s. Hmmm, okay, maybe wholesome is too much, but when you think of Luci & Desi, and you think of Bablau’s, you think nice, right? Fun? A good time had by all? Well this individual, with a clear Napoleon complex, had to be the rudest person I've ever encountered in any restaurant. Mr. John Rivera (which hurts, because my mom is a Rivera, and the Rivera’s are AWESOME people. Thanks for giving them a bad name, John) greeted a friend and I at the door. He came up politely at first asking if we had a reservation. I told him we were meeting some friends, pointed to them, and before I could even begin walking towards them, he just walked away. I thought it was strange the way he did that, but ignored it. We waited about another 10 minutes to sit down, and were finally brought to our table. At this time it was around 9:45p/9:50, and we were right in the corner, by the hostess podium. I thought great seating, at the time, because we were out of the way of the bar and everyone standing around. As we were opening our napkins, Napoleon (yes, readers, that’s my new name for him), came over and THREW the drink menus at us, to the point where they made a very loud smack against the table, when they landed. If you think I’m exaggerating, just imagine (if you’ve been) how loud the music is there and with people talking all around us, including our table, how this sound made us all stop in mid-sentences, because we were startled by the sound. We all just looked at each other confused, like, what the heck just happened?

Moving on, we ate, we drank, and were generally having a good time, until one of my friends asked for another drink. That’s when the waiter informed us that while he could bring her another drink, he would also need to bring us our check. Why you ask? Well apparently they needed to set up the DJ in that particular section and needed us to move. So here are my main questions: 1. Why would you sit customers in a section you would need them to vacate within an hour. Have you been out with 6 women? Do they do anything in an hour? 2. Why wouldn't the next option be to move us to another table? We agreed that we were done eating and since we’d already decided we were going to stay and drink there, that we would just move to the bar. We received our bills, paid, and while most of us weren't even done signing our names, Napoleon came over with an extremely RUDE & NASTY attitude, motioned to us to move (like dismissing us) and said, “We need this table right now, and we need you to move.” Now I have a lot of friends who work in restaurants, many of which are managers, so I know the protocol. In situations like that most Managers approach you with something along the lines of an apology, “Excuse me ladies but we do need this section. Please feel free to move over to the bar or another table” etc. Some might even go the extra mile and give you a drink on the house for the inconvenience. But no, because why would Napoleon care about paying customers who were actually planning on staying there the whole night to spend more money on food & drinks.

I’m not saying the place is completely bad, I’m just sharing with you my experience, and isn’t that what blogging is all about. Hey, I mentioned the high points didn’t I? So see, I’m not a complete hater, as one of my friends said. Yes, I have friends who have been here, and still go, and have a great time. However, I just can’t say the same for myself or the friends I was with that night, and maybe that’s because we had the misfortune of dealing with, Napoleon. So take this “review” how you’d like and feel free to comment back whether you agree or disagree. J

Disappointed Babalu’s Patron,

Kristine

Wordless Wednesday: Missing San Antonio Grub

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Let's Get Over Ourselves, Please.

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 14:00:00 +0000

I find it hard to understand how people can make any situation, no matter how big or small, somehow about them.

Woman 1: "I'm having a birthday party and I can't wait to see everyone."
Woman 2: "Wait. Is Sarah going? If she's going, I'm not!"

It seems nowadays, people can't have or enjoy something nice for themselves, without someone coming to steal their thunder or make it about them. It's as if they have this psychotic notion that all the decisions people make should be run by them, at least once for approval. Well surprise, surprise, life suckers, that is NOT real life. So, I bring up this topic because of a situation a friend of mine recently went through, and something I've gone through, recently, myself.

A friend of mine, we'll call her Veronica, had sent out an invite to her housewarming party. As soon as the invite went out, she received a text from a friend letting her know that it was likely she would not attend because someone else was going. She continued that she had no idea that Veronica and this person were really that close, and that Veronica should have really thought about inviting this other girl and her. Apparently these ladies had a bit of a history, something that Veronica really didn't know, nor wanted to get involved with. And why should she? She just wanted people who she cares about and have been with her on the journey to get a new home, to enjoy the experience with her. A fun and exciting adventure for my friend, was now being overshadowed by something so trivial. And yes, these ladies are in their 30's. Veronica told her that it would be up to her if she attended, but she understood if she didn't. She was very upset about it, and I was just pissed off for her. How dare this girl make it about her? This is Veronica's event, and she has no issues with you or the other girl, so why make it such a big deal. You must feel guilty about something, and are now trying to convince others to see your point of view, so that you can save face. Well I'm sorry, but that is your cross to bear, not hers!

Now I bring you to my story. About two years ago I dated someone who introduced me, as most guys do, to all his friends and family. I became pretty good friends with one of his female friends, and after he and I broke up, we still remained friends. Well she became engaged to one of their other friends, and I couldn't have been happier knowing the history of the two and how they got there. When I heard of their engagement, I was over the moon for them; they deserve it and so much more. When I spoke to her she had mentioned that she would love to invite me, but that my ex-boyfriend would be uncomfortable, and therefore couldn't. My first thought wasn't, oh that sucks. No, my first thought was, who's getting married here? Him or you? I couldn't understand if you really wanted someone to share in your big day, why you would allow someone else to prevent that. I also couldn't understand that how out of 125 guests, my one person, could make you uncomfortable, especially since he had cheated & broken up with me, and would most likely be there with that person. Now me, never letting things go, eventually called him and asked him what the issue was that he had with me, and we "cleared" the air. Now while I haven't mentioned this to her, and I won't, it still baffles me that people can have such an effect on others decisions. I understand that they are truly best friends, and I'm sort of the outsider coming in. However, when its something special that you want (or say you want), how does someone else's making a mistake, become an issue for you, where you then have to change your plans, to accommodate them. It makes absolutely no sense.

Why people make others such a factor in our decision making, I will never understand. I've done it in the past, and have decided, as I've gotten older, that it's just not worth it. If you plan something, and people want to be apart of it, then great. If they don't, because someone going is going to wear white after Labor Day, and they just can't support that idea, well then I say, with a great big smile, well that's just too bad. My opinion is, that with all the crap we have to deal with in this world, we should not have to take on others insecurities and garbage. So let's get over ourselves and realize that there are other people in the world, and that the world itself, does not revolve around us.

Hugs & Kisses Friends,
La Latina Loquita.

Wordless Wednesday: The Joys Of Rheumatoid Arthritis

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Monday Grievances

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Mon, 30 Jul 2012 14:00:00 +0000

As I've said before, and I will likely say many more times to come, I can't stand liars. Sure, if you want to lie about your weight, your age or you dick size/bra cup, I could care less. But when people lie about big things such as, "No, I never slept with your boyfriend", and meanwhile you walked in on them, that is when I get annoyed. And no, that's never happened, I'm just using it as an example, no matter how extreme an example it may be. I understand people try to save face and avoid conflict, but is it really necessary? One of the things that upsets me even more is lying when no one even asked you for the "truth". It seems that so many people just want to talk to simply talk. There isn't any substance behind what they're saying, you can clearly see everything they're spewing is bullshit, and yet they continue to try and feed you this garbage. What's even worse is when these people are "friends". And when you can instantly tell that the "friend" is lying, you know it's time to reevaluate how, or if, this person fits into your life.

And no, I don't pretend to be an angel, because sure I've lied too. Contrary to what you may believe, I am not perfect ;). BUT when I lie, I lie right back to the people who are lying to me. For example: Guy: No, I don't have a girlfriend. I just put "in a relationship" so that girls won't bother me. You're the only chick I'm messing with. Me: Yea, me too. Just you and I. (Meanwhile, I know for a FACT you have a girlfriend and guess what? I've got someone I see too...) Eye for an eye, right? Trust me, I understand the old adage, two wrongs don't make a right. However, if you're going to disrespect me enough to not offer me the truth or be honest with me, then why should I give you that courtesy. Do me the favor, do not insult my intelligence and do not under estimate my keen sense on sorting out the real from the fake. I will make it plain and simple for people, don't lie to me and I won't lie to you. If I ask you something and you feel like you can't tell me the truth, then just stay shut. I can then make the decision if you stay around or not. AND if I don't ask you anything, because chances are I don't give a flying fuck, don't feel the need to go and "explain" yourself, when all you plan on doing is feeding me more bullshit. That actually pisses me off more than anything. JUST STAY QUIET!!! And now, the fact that I've said "feed(ing)" about 12 times, makes me now want a brownie. So this is where I'll leave it.

La Latina Loquita

Video Clip Wednesday: Ladies Anthem

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Yes, I am on a mission to get people to listen to Marina and The Diamonds. BUT, that's not why I've posted this video. Besides the fact that I think it's super catchy, I think that these are rules that us ladies should live by. So take a listen and let me know if you agree.

Delusions of Grandeur

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Thu, 19 Jul 2012 14:00:00 +0000

In today's world, and heck probably before our time, people have a tendency to stretch the truth or just out right lie. Lies can start of small and work themselves into bigger and deeper ones. Now you all know how I feel about lying, no matter how small it is. I truly don't see the point in it. I've always tried to speak my mind and tell people how I feel, even if I know it will upset them. And yes, this goes for people I don't know either. When I meet someone, I don't feel it necessary to hold back, but I also don't find it necessary to lie or talk myself up into something I'm not. That brings us to the topic at hand.

Lately I've been dating and meeting new "men", and I've found they all have one common trait: they're all full of shit! Now don't get me wrong, before I get men attacking me for once again not giving them the benefit of the doubt. I'm not saying EVERY man lies or is full of it. However, in my experience, it just seems to go hand in hand with men. Lying comes as naturally as scratching their balls; it's in their genes. And you know what, it's actually not just my experience. I was hanging out with a friend recently and she told me a story of how she met a great guy and they started on that journey of "getting to know you." He talked about how he wanted to find a great girl and settle down. He told her all these great things, and it wasn't that she ate it up with a spoon, but she had no reason to believe he was lying. She didn't necessary fall for everything he was selling, but she felt she could at least relate & agree with him. They decided to go on a date, and when it was about to end, he suggested her going with him to meet his parents, that evening. She thought, it was a bit much too soon, so she declined. For about two weeks they continuing speaking & things seemed to be going well. But then, it began to dwindle to almost nothing. She decided to contact him one day and tell him she thought his communication was slipping. Suddenly the guy who was ready to settle down & find a great girl, told her that she needed someone who was more attentive and that the timing was off. Now most people reading this are probably thinking, "Well you can't believe everything people tell you." or "Well he was probably only looking for one thing, and told you all those things to try and get it." Except, friends, he didn't even get IT. And if it was for that, then don't you think he went about it the wrong way?! So then why all the bullshit in the beginning, to then just go MIA; what was the purpose?!

Now that brings me to the two instances that I have gone through. The first is a guy who I've always had a crush on. Smart, funny, great job and total player. I figured out long ago that he would probably just be a friends with benefits kind of "friend" and as much as I liked him, I thought, so be it. And while you all know I DON'T condone that kind of relationship, sometimes a girls "needs" need to be met; SORRY MOM, but come on, am I right ladies... *wait's for high fives*... Moving along. Now I told this guy that I understood that this was the nature of our relationship and I was completely okay with it. But he kept saying, "Well let's see where it goes." and, "You never know." and blah blah blah. He kept saying all these things, that I suppose he thought I wanted to hear. But I didn't. I was completely comfortable with what was going on and I made it quite clear I was. So again, why all the bullshit? We both know what this is, so who exactly are you trying to convince here? Or is that what you really want? And that's where more confusion comes in.

My second situation, and I'll keep this short, happened more recently. I met someone, who at first my gut said, "You should steer clear from of situation.", however none of the reasons I thought of were, he's going to try and sell you some story. We spoke for a short time, and it was actually a great conversation. During our talk he told me about what he was looking for, blah blah blah and how into me he was and that we should try to see where things could go and even mentioned going on a date soon. I decided to throw caution to the wind (and yes, I know you're thinking, "Hello, they signs were already there", but they weren't the signs you think.) I said okay, lets see where it could go. We spoke for a few days and then *POOF*, he mysteriously, and with no explanation, pulled a Houdini and vanished. It made completely no sense to me. You pursued me and said you wanted to go on a date; not the other way around. So of course I'm left saying, "Huh? What was the point of saying all that stuff?"

Now I've asked others, men and woman alike, why these guys would lie and feed us these bullshit fantasy lines. They say, simply because we believe it. I've been told that women should never buy into what men say and that we should always assume that men will always make things up, make themselves out to be these great people and will just basically be douchebags. So my question is, if I'm suppose to assume that everything that comes out of a man's mouth is pure garbage, then how am I suppose to ever get into and make a relationship work? How do people move into that next phase, if they're already going into the situation assuming the worse of the person? Now I'm not saying you should believe every single thing a person says, and of course you should be cautious. However, I just can't fathom being able to really get to know someone by playing these games and believing every person I meet is going to bullshit me; especially not at my age. See, those things were cute when we were in our early 20's, but at this point, you would think, even if someone didn't want a relationship, the could at least be honest and upfront and say what it is they do want. And if we are to accept the idea that everyone has an agenda and will lie to you, then what about the lines of, "You can't carry the baggage of what someone did to you before, into the future" or "You can't believe everyone is a liar." If I'm believing everything he says is a lie, isn't that exactly what I'm doing?

Dating is a confusing thing and if this is what the "game" is, then I'd like no part of it. No, thanks! So I'm thinking, ladies, that we just get ourselves a great vibrator, and that'll probably be our best bet for now. And no, that is NOT bitter. That simply means, we've gotta have some kind of fun until the men decide to wise up and be honest; no matter what that honesty entails. So lets grab a glass of wine, read our filthy 50 Shades of whatever and say, "Screw you relationships & your delusions of grandeur!" :)

No Longer Accepting Delusions,
La Latina Loquita

Wordless Wednesday: Mimi's In The Closet

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Mimi, is there something you want to tell me?

Random Rant

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Tue, 17 Jul 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Walking home from work, I notice about 6 guys standing in front of a building. They're talking (loudly!), laughing blasting music and just lounging in there jeans and wife beaters t-shirts. One of them notices me and starts hollering like an idiot. You know the "Hey Ma, waz good? Can I tawk to you for a second?" kind of hollering, and of course his buddies are cheering him on. How unbelievably corny. Anyway, I think judging by my attire & my worn out face, you could guess that I'm coming home from work; so you already know that much about me. Now, I don't want to be judgmental here, but I live in the South Bronx, so deal with it. What I know about you, is that you're sitting in front of a building doing NOTHING. I could be wrong, and I could be judging a book by it's cover, but chances are you don't have a regular 9-5 and aren't a "real" man. And what do I mean by "real man"? Well, I'm not going to go into detail on what I think a real man is, but what I can say is that they're not sitting outside of a building, trying to pick up women. Tell me if I'm wrong, but if you're past the age of 25 (and they were way past that age) isn't that just kind of sad? I just don't understand men. Do they really think that any woman in her right mind is going to turn to mush and find that to be sweet, sexy or cool? If so, lets just say, that's gonna be one interesting relationship, and frankly I'd like to watch it on VH1 when I comes out next year.

Til Next Time Kids,

La Latina Loquita

Wordless Wednesday: Mimi Sleeps

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Always has to sleep RIGHT BEHIND me.

Is it his twin?!

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Once upon a time, there was a girl who waited a long time to become intimate with a boy she really really liked. She told herself she would wait until they were exclusive before hitting the sheets & showing her "wild side". However, one day, it was not the fact that they were not boyfriend and girlfriend, that stopped them from gettin' their groove on. No, it was his twin that halted there expedition...or something like it.

Before I continue, I will say that no, there was not another person in the room. Get your mind out of the gutter people. This girl, is a lady.

So, on that day, the boy and girl began to passionately kiss, and both of them knew they could not wait any longer. They moved their heavy petting into the bedroom, where he proceeded to take off her shirt, and her, his. As he moved his hands down her back she felt such a joy just fill inside her and she was lit like a candle. As she began to return the favor, reaching from his shoulders, down to his hips, she stopped mid way down his torso. While he did not notice her reaction...because it was dark and no one could see anything... her eyes POPPED open. "What in the fucking world is this?", she thought to herself. "I can't see it, but it's huge. Is it a tumor? Why is it so big (it NOT being, well, IT)? This is disgusting? MY GOD WHAT IS THIS?!" She continued freaking out and her mood, obviously, changed, but she tried to carry on. But the more she tried to focus on the real task at hand, she just couldn't get it together. The girl just could not figure out what this thing was, that seemed to poke out of his waist like an uninvited guest. "My God, what if it's a piece of his twin that they cut off at birth? Baby Jesus, what the hell kinda Twilight Zone episode have I gotten myself into!"

Finally she put a halt to the situation, telling the boy that as much as she wanted to move forward, she must stick to her rules of only having sex while in committed relationship. The boy understood, and kissed her sweetly on the forehead. They then just laid there and he put her had over his stomach. By this time, the girl had calmed down and as she began to forget about the incident, she gently glided her hand down his waist and again there it was. Before upchucking her dinner, she decided, it would be best to end the night. As they made their way, looking for shirts and socks that had been thrown in a gust of passion, the boy turned on the light. He moved around quickly, all while the girl kept trying to search, without begin caught, to find what the fuck it was she felt on his body. He turned and gave her one of her socks, and as he did, there it was. What once felt like a baseball, a tumor, another freaking person, was right there in front of her, almost eye to eye. It was.... A MOLE!

***

Yes, just a little mole. But not unlike a review mirror, where objects can appear closer than they are, this mole appeared to be the size of the moon, in the dark. So I say to you blogger friends & readers - freakin' check the merchandise in the LIGHT, before you start making moves! Forget all this "in the dark stuff", or you may be in for a BIG surprise; even if it's just a little one.

Til Next Time!
La Latina Loquita

*Mole Photo Credit*

This is crazy, but I'm back...Maybe

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 14:00:00 +0000

I can't believe the last time I posted was back in March! So many things have happened, come and gone, and changed in my life, which means I have lots and lots to share. I hope to be able to post a little more often and keep you all up to date on the crazy going on's in my life. Because obviously you all still care, or you wouldn't still be coming back...right? :)

This quicky blog is just to let you know that I'm back!...I know I've said this multiple times before, but here's hoping life stays calm and allows me to write at least 2 to 3 times a week. What's actually hysterical is I have about 8 blogs saved, I just need to fine-tune them. I can't have you all reading gibberish...Well I mean it's gibberish anyway, but if I'm subjecting you to it, it should at least be gibberish that's tolerable. Also, I've set my blog to "Adult". While I don't intend to get overly graphic, there are instances where I'd like to be a little more free with my writing, and have held myself back, in case the wrong eyes gander over here. While I'm sure the change won't keep them out, at least I know I'm doing my part. So with all that said, check back this week for one of my new blogs. I'm pretty sure, you'll enjoy and get a good laugh at it and my luck. ;)

La Latina Loquita

P.S In the meantime, you can always catch me on Pinterest and Instagram. So come and follow me.

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/lalatinaloquita/
Instagram: LaLatinaLoquita; It's private, but I'll accept ya. :)

Wordless Wednesday: So it's not?

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 10:00:00 +0000

In case you have difficulty seeing it, the word "Fresh" has been scratched out. Hmmmm, I guess what they're telling me is, that it's NOT fresh. So, are we getting some stinky old meat? Afraid to go there for even an Orange Juice now.

Til Next Time...

La Latina Loquita

The Grudge Holder Princess

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 14:00:00 +0000

I like to think of myself as a really nice person. I hold doors open for people, I get up for the pregnant lady on the train (well not all the time. Sometimes I'm not sure if they're preggers or just big, and I'm not trying to offend anyone. Listen, we're going off topic here!), if I'm going outside I'll ask people at work if they want anything, etc. Basically I try to be nice to everyone, in hopes that the same courtesy will come my way. However, as nice as I am, I realize that I can hold a grudge and be very hardheaded when it comes to forgiveness. For the most part I have been able to hand out the forgiveness card, but if it was something really bad, I usually cut them out of my life. But for one person in particular, I noticed yesterday that I really have not been able to get over the pain that they caused me, and am still holding a grudge towards them.

So yesterday, thanks this moron and his website updates, I finally just decided to change to the timeline on FB. I did it because I didn't want to be surprised when it updates on it's own... And before I get the, "If you don't like the timeline, why not just delete?" #1. Who asked you ;). And #2. I keep it because I've been able to keep in touch with family from all around and have been able to find and keep in touch with oldie but goodie friends :)... So as I went through my timeline, I was brought back to a really crappy relationship I had a few years ago and all the memories of it came flooding back; and NOT in a good way. I saw comments this person had left me of "love" and "babe" and I just got so angry, I wanted to punch the computer screen. I saw his picture and was just immediately filled with rage. Then I thought, wow, I'm really not over that pain.

Now people say when you're still that angry with a person its because you don't have closure or because you still have feelings for them, blah blah blah. But I don't believe that. See, I could not be happier and more at peace with the fact that this person is gone & that I'll never have to be involved with them again. But it still makes me so angry that I was such a loving, giving and nice person to them, and they treated it with such disregard. I know it's something that I have to work on and I believe that God will help me through that. But it just kind of amazed me that I could still get so angry about something that happened so long ago. And I wondered, what is it about our minds, hearts, emotions that will sometimes cause us to not let go of something that hurts us so deeply? That person doesn't think twice about you anymore and you're definitely giving them more thought than they ever deserved. And it would do you so much better to let go; be free. Yet, we hold on to that grudge, that pain, as if you'll die without it.

So what's your take my fellow readers? I think we can agree holding grudges only hurts ourselves. So why do we do it? What causes us to not let go of the past and hurt? Love to hear your thoughts.

Til Next Time...

La Latina Loquita

Video Clip Wednesday!

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 15:00:00 +0000

While this song has been out for a while now, I just heard it for the first time about two weeks ago. It is now my anthem. :)

Til Next Time...
La Latina Loquita

Why Do The Good Girls, Always Want The Bad Boys?

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 15:00:00 +0000

First and foremost, Happy New Year. Yea, I know it's March, but if you hadn't noticed, I've been a little MIA. Thanks to those who still come to read my crazy nonsense, that more than half the time makes no sense to normal minds. For those who do get me, welcome to the dark side. And now (HOPEFULLY) we shall continue to show how wacked out we are, together.

So as the lyric in No Doubt's song "Bathwater" goes, "Why do the good girls, always want the bad boys?" I don't think there can ever be a clear answer to this question. History repeats itself, and it has shown time and time again that the bad boys always break the good girls heart. And then you just get bitter girls with issues, who when they do get into a relationship with the next guy, bring all that baggage into the relationship. Only on television and in movies does the bad boy eventually see what the good girl has to offer, and then boom, he's reformed. BARF! But we know better, or at least should, and know that that bullshit only works in fairy tales. Case in point: Sex & The City. So after six years of treating her like a toy you play with when you're board, he married someone else, she got engaged, blah blah blah and then**SPOILER ALERT- READ NO FURTHER IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT...No, really, if you're a woman reading my blogs and don't know the ending, never read my blog again. ;)** Carrie and Big finally get together. Now tell me, was I the only one that called "BULLSHIT" at that last episode? Or even more so, when he continued to fuck her over on the big screen with the whole wedding fiasco. I thought, this woman is a total fucking idiot. And then I realized, "Jesus Christ, this woman is me!"

Now you all know I watch A LOT of television. And in the years where I've super glued myself to the TV, there have been quite a few shows that have mimicked things in my life. Sex & The City however, felt like it was based on a particular story line in my own life. See ladies & gentleman, I too have had a Mr. Big. Mr Big: the guy that no matter how many times has broken your heart and made you feel like garbage on numerous occasions, still some how manages to find himself on a pedestal in your life. Now you don't really blame Mr. Big, because he makes it blatantly obvious that he does not want a relationship. He's not a bad person and has even showed you his inner soft side. Awwwww, right? BUT, when it seems you're getting to close, they back off and become, distant & unavailable. You know, their way of making sure you don't get to close. AND when you seem to be slipping from his grasp and you're finally freeing yourself of the spell a.k.a penis, his radar goes off & it starts all over again. No seriously, I believe every Mr.Big type guy, goes to a special store that has some type of invisible radar for sale. Then when they're with you, they stick on you somewhere, then BOOM! Whenever you're really vulnerable, that thing goes off like the bat signal and he's back for more, and your in for more, and you (well, me) go back into "Pendeja Mode".

So back to the question at hand, "Why do the good girls, always want the bad boys?" My opinion is, besides the obvious that Mr. Big is probably gorgeous, has an exceptional body and the sex is amazing...Wait, why was I saying it like this was a problem??..... Oh yea, right. So my opinion is that we kinda need that bad boy in our lives. We tend to need (or like) a little drama and suspense in our romantic lives. Having you're own Mr.Big teaches you how to catch on to the next Mr.Big that tries to come in and dazzle you with his charm. But most of all, you're able to better recognize when Mr.Right comes in to your life. And while it sounds cliche and half the time I have a hard time believing it myself, Mr.Right is out there.

So readers, what to do you think? Do you find that good girls always want bad boys? AND, do any of you have a Mr.Big story? Share you're thoughts peeps!

Til Next Time...
La Latina Loquita

Video Clip Wednesday!

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 23:16:00 +0000

HELLO!!! I know I've been MIA this year, but I'll be back next week. In the meantime...

This song, I think, best explains my mood as of late. Originally sung (and written by) Stevie Nicks, but I enjoy the Dixie Chicks version a lot.

La Latina Loquita

Jerks, Crying Children & Crackheads, OH MY!

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 03:08:00 +0000

So it's NYE time and every girl in America is running out to get her hair & nails done, dancing shoes, a cute outfit and the right jewelry so she can party the night away in style. I bought new shoes. Don't judge me...

Aren't they cute?! Damnit, ignore the black socks; it was helping me to stretch them out. As you know, I rarely ever wear heels, so I need all the help I can get.

I was pretty much set, except I forgot to get my nails done. I told myself all week to get them done around my job, but it was a hectic work week and when my boss offered to let me work from home Friday, I jumped at the chance. So after I was done working at home, I decided I'd venture out into my neighborhood and try and find a salon. Seems like a small task. I mean there must be salons on every corner, I live in the South Bronx. But no my dear readers, not simple at all. See I live near a shopping area that I'd like to refer to as "The Hell Hole of The Bronx." I swear every ghetto asshole, men and women alike, must come here for a daily "Lets fuck up someone's day" meeting. Lord, why didn't anyone stop me.

The Salon! Entrance, right near a bus stop that was difficult to find at first, because of a crowd of people that stood in front of the area where the door was. After saying excuse me about 4 times, they finally heard me over the screaming children and their own loud laughter. What they were laughing at, I have no idea. Maybe they knew what was in store for me. I finally walked into the nail salon (suggested by a friend who I will be punching in the boob later) up the stairs and through the door. Needless to say it was packed. So I stood there waiting for someone to come up to me and ask what I was there for. That's how most salons do it. After 5 minutes of being ignored, I walked over to a table that had two sign in sheets on clip boards. One for "Nails" and the other for "Mani/Pedi's". If you're from the BX you already know what the "Nail" sign in sheet means, but for those who don't, let me explain. If you're there to get acrylic nails, that's the one you sign up for. And of course if you're from the BX, you know that that list is a mile long. See in my area, playfully known as "The Ghetto", no one really ever gets just a Mani, that's more of a city thing. Seriously, go to a Ghetto nail salon, like I did, and ask for a Mani. Then go to a Salon in the City and ask for acrylic nails. They will both look at you like you have 8 heads. Anyway, I signed up for a Mani/Pedi and I was lucky (so I thought) because I was the only one on that list. I walk over and stand by a girl, who's talking on her phone. A moment later I hear her say, "Oh no, there is a roach on the wall in this salon. That is disrespectful." It's at this moment you're saying to yourself, "And then you left right?" No, sadly I did not. I just moved away. I should've run, but I didn't know where else to go and it was already 2:30.

I had finally found a seat and sat...and sat...and sat. I waited patiently since the sign said, if you leave and your name is called, you lose your spot and would have to sign up again. Oh but I saw interesting things while I waited.

- A sign on the wall I tried to take a picture of (but was caught, so couldn't) that said, "We're not responsible if your child gets injury. No running. No playing on chair. This is not playground". Yes, that's practically word for word.

- Kids jumping on chairs next to me and parents cursing at them to "Sit the fuck down and cut the shit." Ahhh parenting, gotta love it. One kid was crying because her brother told her that her breath stunk. It did. I smelled as she stood crying/screaming next to me.

- My favorite moment actually had to be the woman sitting in front of me, with her large belly hanging out over her pants, asking her VIETNAMESE nail lady if she had a black belt in Karate.

- Another girl in her leopard print pajama pants and big fluffy hair, in a color of, I guess you'd call it honey. But it's clearly not a color found in nature.

- I noticed there were no real places to dry your nails. You just stand in front of a window and place your hands in, what I can only describe as a hole in the wall. I also noticed, after I did my toes, that they only had one fan on the floor, from I assume like a Home Depot type store, to dry toenails. Clearly NOT for your feet.

- Oh and the below photo was my favorite. I guess people have stolen in the past...

If you can't tell, the chairs are taped together!

So I was there for 45 minutes as people came in and out getting just "nails". I noticed that one woman had been getting a pedicure since I had gotten there and assumed that must be the only mani/pedi lady. When she was finally done I heard, whom I assume was the owner, tell the mani/pedi lady, "Oh she's getting pedicure.", but she wasn't pointing at me. I turned my head and saw a girl getting up about to walk over to the pedi chairs and I knew she had NOT gotten there before me; hello, only person on the list, remember? I got up and asked the lady, "Excuse me, but how does this mani/pedi list work? Because I'm the only one on it and she came in after me." With a roll in her eye, that I wanted to smack right out of her, she told Rosa (that's mani/pedi lady's name) that I'm really next. FINALLY. But as soon as Rosa started working on my feet I could just tell, she's just a pedi lady. I asked during our session who would be doing my mani and she looked terrified and said, "Oh you get mani too?" I said, "Yes, I signed up for both." She looked up, again terrified, and said, "I do it." At this point I didn't even care.

Now while I sat there, I see the girl who was going to take my spot originally, with someone else. As I'm watching what's going on, Rosa asks if I'd like that as well, and I said no.

What is that you ask? Well it's a well known household appliance makers' new foot sander. Huh? That well known household appliance maker doesn't make a foot sander? No, you're kidding. I swear I could see some of those city girls in there now, just fainting from the utter horror. Surely this can't be real. Well guess what folks, it is. And before I get some Bronxite commenting about that I'm bougie and forgot where I came from, blah blah blah. I think anyone with common sense would think that what I've mentioned is certainly GHETTO and ridiculous!

Once I was done with my crap mani/pedi, I hightailed it out of there. I didn't take my frustration out on Rosa because she was really sweet... OH I forgot to mention how the sandblasted feet girl, really came over 5 minutes after I sat down to get my nails done and asked if I was done with the floor fan. As I was about to say, sure (because I figured they'd dry in the amount of time it'd take her to do my nails anyway) this rude asshole just grabbed it and walked away. Now don't tell me that's not rude or ghetto. P.S. Sandblasted Feet Girl, I hope you enjoy the fungus you'll get from walking around in those paper slippers!

Now I know this blog is LONG but I'm not done. I then went to see if I could find some jewelry for my NYE night. Surely my experience in The Hub couldn't be 0 for 0. So I went into 7 clothing stores, 2 had jewelry that was clearly for 15 year olds and 50 year olds trying to be 15 again. Basically TACKY! The other stores didn't even have any accessories, which I found weird because don't all clothing stores at least have one rack with some kind of jewelry? Even Payless sells jewelry! In one store, as I was going to leave, I said excuse me to a woman, who told me, "No!" I'm sorry what?! I say "excuse me", and you say "no". Okay, so I walked by her and pushed her, and she hit one of the clothing racks and sucked her teeth. Yes, because I'm in the wrong. I decided at that point to just cut my loses and go home; walking. I walked by crackheads arguing. An old man trying to pick me up. A huge group of 13 year old girls that look older than me, yelling at the top of their lungs about God only knows what. And a ton of people walking by bumping into me without saying excuse me or sorry or anything. I stopped at Rite-Aid to pick up somethings and then stood in line near a man who wreaked!!!! of weed. I'm convinced I'm still high from the contact I caught from him. Then I picked up food for me and my sister. While I waited for the food, there was some crazy kid in the place screaming, "I'm about to lose my mind up in here. People think I'm fuckin' playing and shit." I really wanted to say, "Lose your mind about what? That your pants are hanging off your ass like you're letting people know you're ready for some ass sex? Or losing your mind about the fact that you're probably 16 and have 3 kids already." I then went home and stuffed my fluffy girl face.

So the moral of this story is, don't do your nails, shop or get food in the Ghetto unless it's absolutely necessary. Which in my experience, will never be absolutely necessary. Next time my sister is doing my nails, I'm wearing moms jewelry and I'm eating a PB&J. The end. Goodnight!

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas From Mimi & I!

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 01:34:00 +0000

About to put baby Jesus in the manger... Yea, I know, I'm super pale. Don't judge me; it's 2:30am and I'm tired! :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Video Clip Wednesday!

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 14:00:00 +0000

As many of you know, and if you don't you will now, I sleep with the TV on. Thanks to a wonderful cousin of mine and her torturing me as a child, I am deathly afraid of the dark. Now you know all my secrets. But I'm already digressing and I haven't even started this blog...

Okay, so a few years ago, about 4 or 5, I used to fall asleep to Nickelodeon/ Nick@Nite... Now most days I fall asleep to the Hallmark Channel because they air the Golden Girls and I LOVE them... Anyway, I chose Nick because they always showed Roseanne and another show I can't quite remember; but I really loved watching Rosanne. Well one day I woke up around 6:30a and of course the TV was on. Now around this time the channel shifts back to cartoons and whatnot. So while easing into the transition, as many kids were waking up and turning on the TV, they used to air the below PSA. Now I don't know what about it caught my attention, and continued to do so for months after, as they played it every morning. But I freakin' LOVED it just as much as my Roseanne and Golden Girls. I don't know if it's the fork break dancing in the beginning, or the plate doing the worm or if it's the Spoon saying "Huevos Rancheros". Whatever it was, I used to wake up solely to make sure I heard this little jingle. It actually put me in a happy mood and made me crack up all the time; did I mention I really enjoyed the rapping and the beat it has? Tell me after hearing it you don't sing it a line at least once today. I hope you enjoy this little trip down memory lane as much as I did when I re-heard it yesterday.

Happy Blogging!

Mimi Hates Me

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 00:28:00 +0000

So this past August my aunt passed away. She was a wonderful person, really funny and one of those people who would give it to you straight. One of the things I loved about her was that she was such an animal lover, and had four dogs. So when she passed away those dogs had to find homes, and we decided to take in Mimi. Mimi was like my aunts daughter. As much as she loved all of them, Mimi was the real baby; she took her everywhere and treated her like gold. I promised my aunt that I would make sure to take care of Mimi as best as she did, if not better; if I could. That brings us to present day.

Mimi ready for her first Christmas with us. Isn't she adorable!

My family and I joke about it all the time, but Mimi has some seriously bad breath. She makes Charlie Tuna jealous of her fishy aroma. She is also very hairy (she's a Pomeranian) and her nails have gotten quite long, so we needed to have her groomed. Since we weren't ever able to get her papers, we took her to Petco so that she could get all her shots (she needs the Rabies shot to get groomed) and were hoping that the Vet could give us some feedback on her breath issues. As the Vet was examining her and giving her the shots, I threw out that she was my aunts dog and that's why I didn't have papers or know her date of birth. While talking the Vet took one look and said we needed to take her to a real Vet/Dentist to check her out; she had very very very very very bad tarter and possible gum disease. Cut to this past Saturday. As I sat there waiting for the Vet to come in, Mimi just kept staring at me like she was saying, "Why am I here?" God, that face just makes me melt. The Vet came in and asked questions and once again I let her know that Mimi was previously my aunts dog, and had passed away. The Vet then did her own examine and as soon as she opened Mimi's mouth, she told me in a thick European accent, "Oh yes, she must have cleaning and extractions." My mouth dropped. I knew it wasn't good, but EXTRACTIONS?! She gave me a list of "worse case scenario", things that they would do, which included a hefty bill. When she asked me if I had any questions, all I asked was, "Do you do doggie dentures?" She laughed. I was serious.

So surgery was set for Tuesday, December 6. I was going insane... Now let me take a moment here to address non-animal lovers and those who just don't understand us that do love them. We really do treat our animals like people; like our children. They're defenseless creatures that really come into this world with nothing and without any choice. Hell the parents have no choice. I mean the parents don't really think, yea lets have some puppies (they're just horny), while humans can make that choice (we're just stupid). They only have what we provide them. If we left them running off in the streets the would probably die or be snatched up by an organization that would put them to sleep. Yes, I'm dramatic. So I treat Mimi like she's my daughter. I feed her, buy her clothes, treats/toys, and also spend thousands of dollars on Medical bills. The only thing I don't do, is claim her on my taxes; and if I could, I definitely would. So if that isn't being a parent, please enlighten me on what is... So we get to the Vet bright and early and I swear she knew something was going to go down. While she is normally a very calm dog, it was like she was trying to crawl into my clothes. When they finally called our name, she had calmed down. I was the one still going nuts. The nurse was going on how cute Mimi was, and once again I threw out how she was my aunts dog... I finally realized after this 50th time of saying she's my aunts dog, that its because I don't want people to think I let her teeth get this bad. Not that I think my aunt didn't care, but I honestly don't think she ever really noticed. So I figure they won't hate me for her teeth being that bad. And hey, you can't hate someone who's passed on, right? The nurse started to go through the procedure details, "Okay so this is Mimi and she'll be having hip surgery and getting spayed." O-o???? I immediately pulled Mimi away and said, "Ummm NO! She's here for teeth. TEETH! And she's already spayed." She looked puzzled until she realized the receptionist had printed out multiple labels with my name and Mimi's and put it on her file and the file of another dog. I was ready to run out of there like a bat out of hell. Once they got everything in order, they put Mimi's hospital tag on, and off she went; and there went my tears. Yes, I cried. Damn dog! She makes me have...feelings. Yuck!

By the time they called me to pick her up, I already had one foot out the door and in the cab. I sat there waiting and waiting for them to bring her out. The nurse finally came out with her medication and a list of things I would have to do to take care of her. Apparently she had severe dental disease and they had to remove almost all of her teeth, which were already loose. Again, my mouth just dropped. How will she eat?! They let me know she would be fine to have solid foods again in a week. Apparently the Vet had once seen a dog eat with no tongue. I don't know, but that's what she said. So I wrapped up my daughter as she stared at me with pure anger and pain in her eyes, and took her home.

The little patient resting on the couch. My poor baby!!!

I've had to give her medicine last night and again this morning, and she was NOT happy. And all night she moaned, groaned, coughed up God knows what and stared at me as if to say, "You did this to me. Who's the real Bitch here?!" I wish she could understand I only did it for her own good. That disease could've gone down into her stomach and gotten a whole lot worse. Again, I'm dramatic, but damnit I love my child :). Now Mimi is a very happy dog, and when you come through the door she's always wagging her tail and jumping up and down. She even did this yesterday when my mom came home. Well today I came home and all I heard was silence. After I put my stuff down and walked over to her bed, she just looked at me like, "Who let you back in here? Leave me alone." Call me a sap (I told you she makes me have those nasty things called "feelings") but I totally wanted to cry. So yes, now Mimi hates me. Plus I still have to take her to get groomed. Lord help me, I'm gonna have to buy her love back with eggs, turkey and a lot of Christmas gifts. Oh, the things you do when you're a Mother *sigh*.

Happy Blogging!

The Experiment Continues...

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 00:05:00 +0000

Photo Credit - *Internet Dating*

*Special Note: I started writing this blog the weekend before Thanksgiving and deleted my dating profile shortly after.*

Ladies & Gentleman, I have moved forward in my experiment and added 1 photo to my dating profile. ::Enter Applause Here:: And Ladies & Gentleman, with that one photo, the initial 45 messages I had received on night 1, more than tripled on night 4! I know, how exciting right?! What a little eye candy can do for a guy; I mean just one picture! I already knew that as human's, we're driven by the flesh more than anything else. But hot damn I had tons of request, flirts, emails, etc. Naturally I looked through them to see what my cute little self could attract. I like to think of myself as a little tasty dish, so why not indulge in these fine mens' words of sweet nothings, even if I don't intend to stay on or write back. You never know, someone might catch my eye... Well my dear readers, if you ever wanted to feel like you're a hideous creature crawling out of some sewer in Hunts Point with boils on your face, a hump in your back and a limp in your step, this.will. do it. HOLY MOSES ON THE ARK!!! (I'm aware it was Noah! But that's how shocked I was; I forgot my religious studies.) If these are the only men attracted to me, it's gonna be me and the 3 digits for a very, very long time. I've said it before, I won't say I'm drop dead gorgeous, but I can't begin to imagine that that's all I can get. Maybe that's bitchy of me to say, and laugh if you want, but damnit, I was insulted! I swear it was like the weirdest, creepiest and most unattractive men had a meeting, said lets get on this site and only hit up this one girl. Men my grandfather's age. dad's age, Gollum and men who looked like serial killers were hitting me up. "Oh, she must be busy so lets send her seven messages, to ensure she gets this one!" That is what I got my friends and I couldn't even deal.

Now remember, this was only an experiment. I am not looking to date, and will be removing my profile by weeks end. (Profile has since been removed.)

So lets get a little deeper into the utter horror scene that was my request lists. Here are just a few examples of some choice names/words and images I found while exploring this dating site and the "suitors" that contacted me. If your online dating profile's name is anything like the below, you have photos like anything mentioned below, you're a creep like the men mentioned below, etc., you need to re-evaluate a lot of things in your dating life or rather, your entire life! Even if you're just looking for booty, these names/words will NOT help you with that fight, unless your quest involves statutory rape of a 15 year old Catholic School girl:

AmorCaliente - Yea, I'm thinking that means you have some kind of itchy STD that you should get taken care of pronto! No thanks.
Papi/Chulo - 1. Stop the nonsense; you're NOT hot. We ALL know you look like CULO! Especially when you take those photos that we basically only see your eyes or you're 1 of 4 men in the photo. 2. You're obviously not looking for a serious relationship, so that should be reflected in your profile.
MoMoney (or anything that has money or dollars in the name) - Chances are you have none, or if you do, you're a drug dealer or a pimp. While the money is great, I'm no longer a co-ed.
LatinLover - You have a small penis.
Gamer - You've been playing alone for a loooooooong time.
Attractive/Sexy - You're not.
Dark lighting where we only see your eyes - You'll most likely meet up with me, drug me and chop me up into little pieces while jacking off to my hair aka You're a CREEP!
Shirtless photos showing "the gun show" (I just threw up) - You used to be the fat kid with boobies that people pinched. No girl would talk to you and all the other guys in your class made fun of you. So now you're showing off your new found body in hopes that those girls will now find you sexy. You're like a child with a new toy you want no one to play with. GROW UP.
You send more than one message to the same girl & it says the same thing - You haven't had sex in years and will bang anything that lightly brushes your foot aka You're a CREEP!
Photos of you near cars and scantily clad women...okay, whores - You have a small penis and truly don't know anything about what interest real women.
You're writing to women who are clearly young enough to be your daughter, or granddaughter - You're in a midlife crisis and hoping young vag will help you out of it aka You're a CREEP!

So yes, these were (just a few) of the men, and I'm using that term LOOSELY, that I found trying to contact me on this particular site. I can't say that all sites are like this, or that even all men are like this; I know there are some good ones...there has to be. However, this has made me see clearer and understand why so many people are into the Friends With Benefits idea. If I could, I would probably go back on my word and start applying that rule in my own life.

In all seriousness, is that what dating has come to? Is that all that is to be expected? Eventually being single will run it's course and I'm going to want to date someone seriously. And if this is what is out there, I might just ignore that idea and stick to having dogs (I don't like cats.) Or maybe snakes. I could be like the crazy cat lady on The Simpsons, but be Crazy Snake lady, and throw snakes at people when they walk by my house. Yea, some how that sounds like a much better plan than dating any of these fools. I can say this for one thing, it was a very interesting and enlightening experiment.

Happy Blogging All!

Random Thoughts by Me

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 15:00:00 +0000

One of my favorite chocolate treats is a Hersey Bar with Almonds. It's that one piece of chocolatey goodness that no matter what my sweet tooth is craving, hits the spot. And while it may seem bizarre to you, I have a special way in which I pick my little piece of chocolate heaven. See, whenever I purchase one of these delicious decadent treats, I sort of... well I... I molest the bar before deciding. Listen, the ratio of almonds to chocolate has to be as even as possible; there MUST be an adequate amount of almonds in this bar. I mean come on, if I wanted just the chocolate, I'd get the plain one. Anyway, the other day I bought one and did my normal "feel up the candy" routine. Touching it from the top of the bar, to the bottom, making sure there a good ratio. After feeling up about 4 of these, to my delight there was almonds all over my last choice and it brought such a smile to my face. There's nothing worse than getting a bar with one half having a bunch of almonds and the other one either having 1 almond, or worse, NONE!

I finished up shopping and went to the register. As the cashier was ringing up my items, she got to the Hershey bar and it wasn't ringing up. She tried it about 3 times, before she finally asked me to get her another one so that she could get the price... If you don't know where I'm going with this, you obviously are not a fellow fluffy or you don't appreciate sweets in the way that I do... Once she got the price, she packed my stuff and I was on my way. Later in the day when I had a hankering for something sweet, I immediately went to my little prize. Only I was actually in for a surprise. After all my "hard work" of searching for the right chocolate bar, I found that she had switched the bars on me! So now I ended up with a bar that not only wasn't near as good as the one I had originally chosen, it only had one side with almonds!!! -_-

While you may think I'm over exaggerating, I know someone out there will feel my pain. And in case you missed my last blog, I don't like when my "food" is messed with. It just makes me angry. I know one of you out there has to relate. Don't lie, it's okay, we're all friends here; a no-judgement free zone. Well, most of the time... And PLEASE before I get someone saying there are people are starving all over the world, blah blah blah. Trust me, I do my share of donating food and clothes to the needy, so you can keep your preaching to yourselves. :)

So now it's, Universe-2 and Fluffy Girl-0. The universe and I are about to experience some SERIOUS issues.

Happy Blogging All!

P.S. Hope you all enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Random Thoughts by Me: Spandex Gone Wrong!

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 19:52:00 +0000

Okay, normally this is something I would just show to friends and make my smart ass comments and leave it at that. However, I had to share this, because it seems to be turning into an epidemic.

Why is leaving the house knowing you have HOLES in any of your clothing, especially pants and near the butt or crotch area, okay? "Maybe she didn't know." Oh yes, she did, because when one of the girls working in the store told her about the holes, she said, "oh yea I know", as if there was nothing wrong with it, smiling away and like she was surprised that the girl would even bring it up. Ummm, there is something wrong with it! She also had one on the inner thigh that I noticed when she went to sit down to try on shoes. And before you ask me why I was so up in her stuff. Well she put it out there and I was so surprised that a woman would walk out like this, I couldn't help but stare at her. And this isn't the first time I've seen this, and on a fluffy girl! See, this is why my fluffy ladies, of all sizes, get criticized for wearing spandex, stretchies, tights, etc. This is right up there with the ladies that wear stockings and pretend that they're spandex pants. Umm I see your red hearts thong when you bend over; they're NOT spandex. I've never seen a skinny minny girl walk out of the house with holes in her tights! And by the way, while they may appear small in this photo, they weren't. At least if you're going to do this, wear a shirt long enough to hide the holes! I truly do not understand some women and how they choose to leave the house.

Am I alone in this ladies? Sound off, PLEASE!

Happy Blogging All!.... And check your clothes before you leave the house! :)

The Hungry Brat

noreply@blogger.com (La Latina Loquita) — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 14:00:00 +0000

**Hungry Brat**

So all week I've been trying to eat really well. I've had whole grain cereal, low fat peanut butter on toast, salads, grilled chicken and only one big meal (usually my lunch). Most importantly, I cut off soda. Let us take a moment to mourn the loss of my delicious fizzling friend, Coca-Cola. . . . Okay, so anyway the point is I've been doing well. I even worked out twice this week. Shut up, yes, that's a lot! So yesterday morning I woke up late, causing me to be late for work. When I finally arrived, it was straight to work, which means I didn't eat breakfast right away; I had to wait until 10:15. When you're hungry, you notice things like exact time. So at around 12 I started feeling a little hungry and had a nature valley bar and a cup of tea; my snack. I then realized that I had my Health Benefits meeting at 1:30 so I would have to wait until after to get my lunch. Which was fine, because the bar and tea would hold me over. I mean, how long could that meeting take? -_-

On to the Health Benefits meeting. Oh yes, where people ask the most asinine questions you can possibly imagine, and ask it TWICE! Now while I'll admit, if you're not an HR person, there may be some things you don't understand right off. However, some of these questions were just absolutely ridiculous. For example: "So if I don't use the FSA account and it doesn't roll over into next year, what happens to the money?" Umm you lose it? I don't even use FSA and I know this! Anyway, the meeting ran for an hour and a half! I have never ever ever been in a Enrollment meeting for that long; 20/25 minutes tops! Of course by this time my stomach had begun growling and hunger had set in. And along with hunger comes irritability and annoyance. My hunger is a lot like PMS - sorry guys, but it is - which basically means don't fuck with me. Yea, I cursed, because when I get hungry I get a potty mouth... Okay, I always have a potty mouth, whatever. So when this meeting was done, I literally bolted and went to Subway. I decided against my normal tuna order since I was so hungry and got the Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki, toasted. Freakin' yummy, right. I get back to my desk, am about to sit down, when all of a sudden they tell me we have a meeting. You're joking right? 1. That wasn't on my calendar. 2. I just got my lunch. 3. Why am I surprised? Of course that would happen the day I get a HOT sandwich. So I go off into the meeting with a trompa face, obviously, because I'm a brat and everyone should know. During this meeting of course EVERYONE had to speak, except our team. See we weren't informed of the meeting because our boss wasn't going to be there and therefore, we wouldn't really be needed. But since the VP was there, we couldn't really just leave during it. And I wasn't going to be the fluffy chick who brings her food to the meeting and stuffs her face in front of a crowd. I have manners...sometimes.

Thankfully it was only 20 minutes of my life, but that was still 20 minutes of my lunch time loss. And while the meeting was taking place and "important things" being discussed, all I kept thinking was, "I don't even want the damn sandwich anymore. I'm throwing it out. It's going to be cold and soggy." I told you, I'm a Hungry Brat! When the meeting was over at 3:20 (again, fluffy people pay attention to time in matters of the belly), again, I BOLTED to my desk. At this point if someone even asked me a question they were either getting the silent treatment or a sarcastic response. I sat down and of course someone did try to say something, I'm not even sure who. I just threw up my hands like "STOP. CEASE. DESIST. DO NOT APPROACH ME FOOL, I AM HUNGRY." Whoever it was, obviously understood this and stopped talking. Good for them. Unfortunately someone did not get this. See at this point, I remember, "Oh! We have a 3:40 fire drill today which means I now have to inhale my food. Lovely!" While this may seem like a good thing, because who wouldn't want to shovel in food when they're hungry, it's not. I get very gassy (as in burpy, relax) when I eat fast. So while I'm eating like this is the only food I've seen since '89, my new co-worker, God Bless her, asks me a question:

New Girl: Oh good, you're eating.
Me: :: Blank stare towards computer screen. No answer::
New Girl: I'm trying to get this stuff done before the drill.
Me: :: Stuffing face, continued blank stare towards computer screen. No answer::
New Girl: They alert us when it's time for the fire drill, right?
Me: Yea
New Girl: Like an alarm or something?
Me: No, they come by and set your desk on fire.

Hey you ask me silly questions, AND while I'm hungry, you're gonna get silly answers. Thankfully she's a good sport and laughed. I finally finished with 5 minutes to spare, and there goes the alarm. About 5 to 10 minutes of this guy talking, and all I'm thinking is, "Please don't burp. Please don't burp." Oh did I mention I'm standing right next to the VP?! And of course when we're dismissed, she and I walk side by side and she asks me a question! Right as I was going to answer, I feel it. I'm about to burp. Are you flipping kidding?! Thankfully someone tapped her and she turned and I let our that silent burp, where you blow in the opposite direction of the person you're with and hope to God an odor doesn't linger. Well while I was having my burp crisis in private, she kept talking and so I kept walking. Lets just say it wasn't the best day I've had this week. Oh, and of course I got home and wasn't hungry since I ate so late. AND of course I would start to get hungry at 10 o'clock at night.

In matters of the belly, Fluffy Girl - 0 and Universe - 1.

Happy....EATING all!