Confessions of a Montessori Mom

The Battle of the Toothbrush!

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Tue, 12 May 2009 17:18:00 +0000

What to do when your little one no longer wants you to brush his teeth and gums! A concerned parent emailed me recently about her toddler:

My only child... is 19 months old now and has recently begun resisting getting his teeth brushed.... He used to put the brush in his mouth on his own at first, then I'd brush his teeth before we were "done". Now he doesn't want to hold the brush and will turn his head, push his tongue out, and press his lips down. I try making funny sounds (he'll laugh and open his mouth but it's short lived) or finally pin him down and get it done.... Am wondering if you have any thoughts about my only child.

Here's what I did when my son started to resist getting his teeth and gums brushed, I stopped. I wanted him to LOVE brushing teeth... not hate it!

My husband was oh-so-concerned about this decision. But I felt like pushing the issue (of cleaning his teeth) could turn my son off to the whole ideal of brushing his teeth forever and ever and ever, and then where would we be? In the dentist office with problems galore!

So I let him do it himself, I gave him fun flavors of toothpaste including non-fluoride. I had a score of toothbrushes to hand him after each mealtime... but I did not interfere. Over time my son began to LOVE brushing his teeth! It was his job, not mine, even though he was not actually brushing his teeth but sucking and chewing on the toothbrush.

I chose to fight OTHER battles instead, like keeping my son's glasses on! I felt like that was more important at the time. (He's been wearing glasses since he was six months old; and not until age four did he finally give up the fight and keep his darn glasses on all the time.)

So what's happening with teeth brushing now that he's 4 1/2? He lets me brush his teeth, once a day, at bedtime. And it's not a battle! (It helps that I count to twenty and that he loves numbers.)

He still does it himself, and he still loves it, so much so that lately he's been sneaking into the bathroom to... No, not flush the potty over and over. No, not pull all the paper off the toilet paper roll. No, not dump the trash on the floor. He sneaks in there to brush his teeth when no one's watching!

As parents, we have to decide which battles to fight. I chose not to fight this one. It took a few years of letting go, however, but I was confident we would both win in the end!

Footnote: our dentist appointments were very helpful! Our son did not have any issues with his gums or his teeth. However, I knew there would come a day when the dentist would tell me to get in there and brush my son's teeth, I put off that day for a long time. And now it is not an issue.

So what's the moral of the story? Give up a battle today to win a war tomorrow (and check in with your child's dentist!).

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Does your child resist getting his or her teeth brushed? Leave a comment!

T'was the night before Mothers Day, when all through the house...

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Fri, 08 May 2009 17:26:00 +0000

T'was the night before Mothers Day, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a--oh, wait there is a child stirring, she wants water, again! (She spilled the first cup...)

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hopes that someone would fold them and put them away where they belong, they've been hanging there a week!

The children were nestled all snug in their beds, (except the child who just spilled her second cup of water!) while visions of sugar-free plums danced in their heads.

And Papa in his cap, and I in my 'kerchief, had just settled our brains for a long winter's... (What rhymes with 'kerchief?)

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. (And tripped over a toy truck left on the floor--must I always put the toys away?)

Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutter, and threw up the sash. This sash is dirty! That reminds me, I have to do the laundry in the morning.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave the lustre of midday to objects below, when, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.

What? A miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer? Am I seeing things--again? I MUST BE SLEEP DEPRIVED! I have GOT to get some rest!

"Happy Mother's Day to all, and to all a good night!"

My child won't take a lesson!

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 22:28:00 +0000

Recently I got an email from a mom of a young three year old in Asia who won't let the mom give lessons. (Usually I get these emails from moms of toddlers!) Alas, I have the same issue with my son (and he's older than three!). Some kids will never take instruction (well) from a parent! What to do?!

Try instead to interact with your child during other times, like when he or she is taking a bath, looking at books with you, getting dressed, or sitting down and eating. (I think this is called having a captive audience!) Count the pieces of food while you put them in the dish: count ten grapes or ten crackers; or introduce colors to your children while eating: "This is a red place mat, this is a yellow cup. Can you say red? Can you say yellow." Then the next day, point to the red place mat and ask her "Is this red or yellow?" And a few days later, ask her "What color is the place mat? What color is the cup?" This is a three-period lesson given over several days.

I did this all the time with my son who has Down syndrome, and by age three he knew all his primary colors and he knew them in sign language! All from interacting with him at meal time, bath time, getting dressed, looking at books.. and not through a sit-down-at-a-table-or-a-rug lesson!

So what I'm trying to say is you have to be creative and find other ways to "teach" your child without sitting down and giving lessons (for now).

It is harder for moms to give their children lessons because the young child wants to be in control of his or her actions and does not want mom to interfere! And if you are a type of person who needs to have control, your child is teaching you to let go of some of that control.

But I feel for all you moms who have trouble giving lessons to their youngsters, my son does not let me give lessons or help him do much of anything! I have to be very creative! It keeps us moms on our toes to be sure!

How do you give your hard-to-teach child lessons? Leave a comment!

Should Your Child Continue On In Montessori?

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 16:37:00 +0000

I receive email from time-to-time from parents who question whether or not they should keep their child in Montessori school, especially if the child is five, because the question becomes whether the child should stay in Montessori for their Kindergarten year, or enroll in a public school or non-Montessori private school, enter a Waldorf school, or stay home and be homeschooled. It is a big decision! The following is an email from such a mom:

My almost five year old is finishing his second year at a montessori school, and though we love it, I am not sure their approach is what is best for him. He has been building the same words for the past six months [Movable Alphabet] and generally is not motivated to do new harder things because he isn't good at it. He gets the greatest satisfaction out of easier work. The teachers try to get him working on more serious stuff, but it he generally seems bored at school and tells me he doesn't want to go because it's boring. I know that montessori likes everyone to move at their own pace, but he is telling me he is bored and I know that he is not getting the push that he needs to keep things challenging for him.

In a nutshell, this mom was wondering if she should take her child out of the Montessori school and was asking for my opinion on her son's current situation...

Learning to read: In Montessori's view there are two sensitive periods for reading: one at age five and another one at age eight. However, not all children have an interest and a hunger to read at age five--to get them to reading is like pulling teeth! Instead, they show an interest around age eight. (Waldorf begins reading lessons at age eight, but not before.)

So it may be that this mom's five year old son is not interested in reading, or getting to reading, and it may not come until age eight. The problem now is if he is pushed too hard to read, at age five, it may turn him off altogether to reading so that by age eight he just hates it--then you really have issues.

It may be that he is more interested in numbers and counting and math, or social interaction, or geography, or plants and animals.

So I do not think pushing him in reading or pre-reading is an answer, at school or at home. And there are plenty of other areas of the classroom that he can work in.

What you want more than anything is for your child to love learning, and if he is not loving learning, ask yourself what changes you need to make to get him on that path. Sometimes it is a different teacher! But we don't always have control over that. Maybe you are the answer and homeschooling is more appropriate. But make your number one goal to teach your child to love learning, not to teach him to learn how to read or build longer words. And a good, experienced Montessori teacher will know and understand this, even if it recommends that the child not continue in Montessori.

I recently had to make the heart-breaking decision (for me) to take my son out of his Montessori school and place him in a special needs class, a decision I did not make lightly! But I knew that most importantly, I want him to love learning, to love school, even if it means not sending him to Montessori.

Potty Training Boys

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:14:00 +0000

My son E. is 26 months and has been wearing underwear for about a week during the day (cloth diaper at night). For the first day or two, he'd make it to the potty about half the time.... But after those first few days any suggestion of the potty upset him very much. So, I stopped mentioning the potty, thinking he is still learning about his body.... The past few days he has not attempted to go to the potty at all, just has accidents all day.

Should I be doing something else? If so, what? Should I try to get him to help clean up? If so, how? Have I missed his window of opportunity?

Oh! The joys of potty training! Boys? Oh boy!

Boys (when they potty train or potty learn) act just as you described! They are fickle! What to do?

Here's what NOT to do (I find that much more helpful sometimes):

1. Don't show emotions when your child has accidents or refuses to try to go in the potty, just be matter-of-fact.

2. Don't expect the child to clean up accidents, you can invite them to help you, but at age 26 months they might not have the attention span or enough practical life experience (with wiping and cleaning) as they are still in a gross motor stage of development.

3. Don't be in a hurry to change them when they are wet... and exercise their "patience muscle". For example, your son comes to you wet and wants to get changed, say, "OK!" and wait a few minutes. He'll ask again, say, "OK!" and slowly get his change of clothes together... in other words part of potty training is letting the child feel wet; and part of having a toddler is teaching him to wait. Now is your chance!

4. Don't expect boys to be fully potty trained until age three (although at 26 months you have any early start).

5. Don't go back to diapers/pull-ups if you can help it! This just prolongs the potty training process and you end up starting all over again.

6. Don't expect independence, you have a toddler, some days he will refuse your help, other days he will cry for your help! It is a between stage of development (and a frustrating stage for them).

OK, here are some dos:

1. Remind your tot to go to the potty upon waking, before or after eating, before playing outside, before bedtime. Reminding is the best helper for potty training!

2. Allow your tot to experiment with dressing and undressing by leaving clothes in his room in a clothes hamper or basket.

3. Start stocking up on elastic waste pants (no more pants with zippers or snaps!).

4. Give hugs and kisses when he goes in the potty (in our classroom we used to sing a potty song!).

5. If you allow DVDs, show potty DVDs like Potty Time and Potty Power.

6. Start buying a few potty board books to read at bedtime.

And if it makes you feel any better, my son, who is 4 1/2, started this process at 2 1/2! But it takes Down syndrome several years to fully potty train (sometimes not until age 7 or 8!).

Lately, what works for my son (and it was suggested by a behavioral specialist)is to ask our son to go on the potty before we allow him a favorite activity--like eating or playing outside.

So when my son wants breakfast or a snack, etc., I ask him to sit on his potty (and offer him a special sticker afterwards--not a Montessori approach to be sure--no rewards no punishments! but I am a mom after all and a little desperate to get my 4 1/2 year old on the potty train--and for him to stay on it!).

He happily goes in his little potty now, then empties the contents in the big potty and flushes (this he loves more than the stickers he gets!). By the way I never showed him to pour out the pee! (And yes, it sometimes gets on the floor and all around, but if pouring gets him to go potty then so-be-it! Follow the child, right!)

One last potty tip, I promise!

A mom (the same mom who asked the question at the top of this post) e-mailed me a week later to say she and her husband found a great solution (from where I know not!): they allowed their son to put food coloring mixed with water into his potty before he used it (a Montessori pouring work!) and after he went he looked into his potty to see what happened to the color ("Yellow and red makes orange!"). I loved this tip and could not wait to blog about it!

So moms-to-boys, hang in there! And go out and buy some food coloring (and maybe a few stickers)!

What tips can you offer for potty training? Leave your comment!

My son's Montessori dressing corner

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 22:36:00 +0000

Are you thinking of making a Montessori dressing corner for your child/ren? Here is what we do at my house! In one corner of my son's room there is a bench for sitting and dressing and undressing and putting on and taking off shoes; a wicker shelf for placing clothes, shoes, and comb; a coat rack for jackets and bath towels; and a wicker basket for dirty clothes.

We do our best to keep it tidy, with a little extra help from mom (who folds the clothes until my son can learn how, and puts out-of-season jackets and shoes in the closet).

A few rules for this area are:
*No standing on the bench, too dangerous (believe me, he's done it!).
*Hangers are for hanging, not stacking or placing on the cat!
*Muddy wet boots (and shoes) go in a plastic bucket.
*Dirty clothes go in the clothes basket, clean clothes and PJ's go on the shelves (actually, most of his clean clothes are in the linen closet which he is not quite ready to access...).
*If he makes a big mess, he needs to clean it up before he plays outside, eats snack, or watches a video... and I sit in the room and help him using a neutral, mild mannered tone of voice.
*I keep the number of items to a minimum so my son does not have too much "stuff" around.

So pick a corner of your child's room and place a bench or stool or chair or pillow, coat rack, basket, and low shelves, and keep it simple!

Leave a comment about your child's dressing area, or lack there of!

Are You Feeling Overwhelmed?

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 20:06:00 +0000

I get emails from many homeschool moms who are using Montessori at home and feel very overwhelmed and lost, and or don't know where to begin:

"I feel behind the power curve and completely lost. I don’t know where to start and how to get a handle on how to structure a day with my twin boys..."

"I am not a great structured/organized person, yet I like how montessori does give a lot of freedom. Anyway, just wanting any advice you can give me in starting out..."

"I thought homeschooling [my children] and giving them good education and our love will be the best I can give them, but I am so overwelemed, I don't think I can figure it out all on my own..."

Montessori homeschooling is a big commitment! It can feel overwhelming, but you are not alone! I'm an overwhelmed mom and I only have one boy! (The Montessori is the easy part, for me... it's getting my son into his car seat with his back arched that's hard--is it made of steel?) And who has time for all of it? Making materials, getting organized, following through... I won't lie and say it is easy! But many moms (and a few dads) are doing it!

And now more than ever there are a lot more resources and online Montessori materials and activities, as well as online help with Yahoo groups!

Here are a few suggestions if you are feeling overwhelmed and don't know how to begin:

Do it slowly over time. Don't try to do it all "overnight" or make everything all at once. Do what you can when you can. It's a learning process and you gather knowledge as you go.

Start with your environment--this can take several weeks and months! And it includes adding activities that you can first make at home, then keep adding activities as you have time to make them and money to buy them. During this time (and before you begin homeschooling) read as much as you can about Montessori, and continue your online research. As for a schedule, you can think about that after you get your home environment ready.

You want to teach love for learning more than anything! And it starts with you. Your children have many, many years to learn academics, but what will help them the most is a love for learning!

Please leave your comments!

Telling Stories Can Help Deal With With Your Child's Issues at Home

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 16:41:00 +0000

"Once upon a time..."

One of the best ways to help your child deal with issues that arise on a day-to-day basis is to address them through telling stories through children's books, storytelling, puppet shows, finger puppets, and or felt story boards.

Each story needs to have these three elements: the characters in the story are similar to the people in your family, the story has a conflict (the issue), and it ends with a "life lesson."

Let's take the issue of having a child who is a perfectionist (my director was one of these types!). There are pros and cons or drawbacks. One pro is the beautiful work that they do, or art that they make (and perhaps it is the perfectionist who becomes a brain surgeon?!). One common drawback is how upset the child gets when they make a mistake, or when their project does not come out perfectly.

Your goal with telling a story is to help your child deal with drawbacks and offer an alternative (to getting so frustrated).

We used this storytelling method of dealing with issues at puppet showtime. The teacher would choose an issue of the day, so to speak, like a child coming to school and crying when the mom left (a common issue in preschool). And she would resolve the issue in the puppet show. "When the little girl came to school she said goodbye to her mommy and went to get the crayons and drew a picture for her mommy to make her feel better. She knew she would have fun at school and that is was OK to miss her mommy because she loved her so much."

At home, it is usually bedtime when stories are read. This is an ideal time for you to make up your own issue-solving story. You can use two puppets to tell the story, or a felt story board, or just use your own voice.

For story ideas try the following book: Healing Stories for Challenging Behaviour

How to Get Your Child Interested in Sorting

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 19:54:00 +0000

Is your three-year old child showing a lack of interest in sorting?

LB wrote: My child has done next to no sorting and she has not shown any interest the times I have tried to introduce the idea.

Here's my advice!

Age: Sorting various activities is more interesting to children ages three to three and a half. Your child may too young or too old for sorting!

Objects: The secret to sorting is to find objects your child is most interested in, and use them for sorting! Kids today are not interested in sorting buttons, I'm sorry to say! Try sorting earrings, small plastic animals or fruit, or small trucks or cars. Sorting doll clothes is always a favorite! (But you need two of each!)

Leave a comment and share your child's favorite sorting activity!

Child refuses to do what's asked

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 23:30:00 +0000

I got an email from a mom describing some typical preschool behavior! Walking through mud! Just kidding! Read on:

How do you respond to your child when he or she refuses to do things? If he or she is "a little on the lazy side and doesn’t like to help," like get his shoes on, etc. (Mom's example, not mine.)

Here is an affective method you can try in this situation (and it is used in Montessori classrooms!). Give out daily jobs!

First, you make labels with the names of the jobs, along with a little picture or drawing (it is up to you if you want to laminate them). Write one job per label. (If you don't want to make labels, try a big chalkboard or dry wipe board.) If you make labels, you need a cork board and pushpins.
Second, have a "job time" at various times of the day. And it is best to have job time BEFORE playtime/outside time and BEFORE eating snack, lunch, or dinner and BEFORE TV or video or DVD time. And it need only be five to ten minutes long.

Third, have your children's names above the jobs they need to do that day or time.

So... when it is job time, ring a little bell or a triangle, go over to where your job labels are. Point to the name of the child, and read out the job(s) for each child, then let them go do their jobs. (And having the labels there with pictures gives the child a visual of what to do.)

And when first starting out, don't over do it and give them ten jobs each! One job should do it, then in a few weeks or months, add a second and third job. But have more than one job time per day!

School Zones

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 22:28:00 +0000

I often get asked the question of whether or not you should have a seperate Montessori school area or school zone in your home. It can depend on how much room you have, and the age of your children!

Some tips:

School Zone: One room or gated off area can be a "school zone" or "school area" where you all go together to do the (Montessori) activities in the environment, including activities that the children need more help with or lessons on. The rest of the house can still be set up like a Montessori environment, where everything has its place, but the activities are "loose": activities that do not require a lesson or much help from you so you can go about doing your thing, so to speak, and your children can be doing their thing... also in this area can be non-Montessori activities, if you have any, (Legos, dress up, play kitchen, etc.) much like an after school, or rainy day, or a daycare area.

Daycare Style: Or you can have everything (Montessori and non-Montessori activities) in one room, and the rest of the house is just that, the rest of the house. In their bedroom(s) you can have just a few items for quiet time (books, stuffed animals, music). This would be more like a daycare environment, where all the activities are in the playroom, with a seperate area for eating together, and another area (like a bedroom) for napping together.

And "school zones" as stated earlier are typically used for homeschooling older kids, say five and up, but can be used for preschoolers three and up. With toddlers you have (still) a lot of flexibility!

You might try it one way (daycare style) and if it does not work, try it another way (school zone).

Hope that helps!

Which Lessons to Give a Tot?

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 05:18:00 +0000

If a child at the age of 16 months comes to me, which lesson do I start with first? Shall I start with the sensorial, the language, the maths or practical life lesson first? How many types of lessons can be done in a day and how many hours for each lesson?

You need to observe the child in your environment, to see what they choose to play (work with), then you will know what materials to add to the environment.

Maybe the child loves trucks, so have lots of trucks and give the language, count them, learn the colors of the truck, the noises it makes. When that same child is two or three, make a washing truck work (practical life); a sorting truck work (sensorial); draw a truck when they are 3 or 4; learn to sound out the work t-r-u-ck, and write it...

What I'm trying to say is you need to observe the child in your environment to see what he or she is interested in, and give them activities that are not too hard or too easy, and sometimes you won't know what is too hard or too easy until you make or buy the activity and place it on your shelves.

A 16 month old is not as interested in lessons as an older child of three, they want to explore! They are not ready for math unless they show an interest in counting, which you can do through counting books for children, counting food at snack, counting blocks...

Language is more of an interest in building vocabulary: names of things; as well as singing songs and nursery rhymes at circle time.

Practical Life interest comes at 2 to 2 1/2.

How to Handle Reading Mistakes

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 05:03:00 +0000

Can you please tell me how I should conduct myself when my son is reading a [phonics]reader, according to montessori? For instance, when he makes an error?

When your child reads, and he misreads a word, have him reread it by sounding it out, however, if he is missing a lot of words, and will get frustrated, you can let it go, but take that reader out of the environment, and place easier ones in.

You can also make a mental note of the words he misses, especially puzzle words or funny words that cannot be sounded out but are "sight" read. Let's say you order new phonetic readers, go through them and pick out all the puzzle words (non phonetic words) and write them on flash cards as an activity to do, as an indirect preparation, before he can choose the reader(s).

Fantasy Play Part Two

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 04:48:00 +0000

The other day, a mom asked me the following question; a question that holds a lot of controversy in Montessori circles, regarding the use of Montessori materials and fantasy play:

How do you handle [it] if the kids want to use materials in a different way than intended? I have been letting my son do this as long as he still completes the work. For example, he pretends the knobbed cylinders are trains, he pretends the story of Cinderella while doing cleaning works, and he wants to draw and/or act out stories with the letters of the movable alphabet when we have him compose words with the alphabet and the write them on the chalkboard.

After over twenty years of teaching, I have learned to trust the child, and some children (very few it seems) have tremendous imaginations! So tremendous that no one and nothing should get in their way!

If you have a child like this, allow it and enjoy it, there is not enough "pure imagination" in our children in this high-tech, fast-paced society we live in! As long as the child is not throwing materials, or damaging them.

And it is a great way to see what interests your child! If it is trains, you can make train activities! Or drama works! I love it!

How to Choose a Montessori School

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 04:41:00 +0000

I get asked the following question a lot: When deciding between Montessori schools, what would you keep in mind to determine which is better or whether there really is much difference?

I had to ask this question of myself when choosing a Montessori school (with a toddler class) for my special needs son. For what it is worth, here is my answer!

As for which Montessori school, the best way to decide is to make an appointment to observe; each school is a little different, you may go the first time alone or with your child.

When you are there "observing" the classroom, ask yourself, will my child fit in here? Only you can answer that! As for teachers, they come and go, so you may love the teacher but come to find out she is leaving next year, etc. But do not expect too much conversation from her as she will be interacting with the kids.

That is really the best advice I can give! Unless you are a Montessori trained teacher, looking over all the materials is mute, but again, think to yourself, how will my child fit in here?

Hope that helps!

To use or not to use mats for Montessori infant toddler materials

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 04:22:00 +0000

Should you use mats with your infant and or toddler Montessori activities?

And what are the mats for, anyway?

The reason for mats is to define the child's work space, to let other children know not to walk on, over, or through another child's rug with work (materials) on it; or if children are sharing a table or sitting side-by-side, not to touch each other's activity... ideally.

A mat (or rug) also defines the work space for the materials themselves so they "do not get out of hand" (pink tower blocks strewn around the classroom!).

Mats are optional in most infant and toddler classrooms (the teacher decides whether to have them in the classroom); and some Montessori preschool classes do not use them.

If you decide to use mats, you'll need to remind your toddler to go and get a mat, and also to put it away, as they are easy to forget. You can also give a group lesson at circle: take out a mat, then go get a work, do the work, put it away, then put the mat away! (For infants, the adult goes and gets the mat, if they are an option in the environment.)

Some toddler classrooms have rugs already out with works on or next to them, so the toddler does not get the rug.

I do not use mats or rugs at home because my son's Montessori toddler teacher does not use them, and I want to be consistent.

Besides, my son would put them on his head or throw them, as he doesn't understand (yet) the use for them...

I'd say try to use mats as early as possible, as it really helps in the long run with the advanced language and math! (Good habits start early!)

Montessori and Reading (or Memorizing?)

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Thu, 22 May 2008 04:09:00 +0000

I received a response to one of my posts that brought up an excellent topic for discussion: When is a child in Montessori (preschool) truly reading? What is true reading, any way--is there only one answer, or several? And how do you deal with children who are not quite there yet?

Here is part of the comment that a mom left about her son reading (or memorizing) in a Montessori classroom: "My husband and I have decided to pull our son out [of his Montessori school]. He is 5 yrs old and a typical little boy... play[s] outdoors and loves crafts. His school is not motivating or challenging environment for him. He began to read Bob books at home for us. We were so excited for him and told his teacher. The teacher immediately said that he had the books memorized. She said this in front of my son.... She also refuses to send a book home with him because she said montessori rules states that they have to read the book to the teacher first and write out all the words."

The comment continues, and you can read the rest of it here:
http://montessoriconfessions.blogspot.com/2008/04/children-who-wont-ingage-in-activities.html

I can tell you how we did "Montessori reading" in our classroom, which included the Bob books, and later, Primary Phonics.

A child, when ready, would begin reading the first Bob book (in series one) to the teacher, first sounding out each word. Eventually, the child would sound out each word ("c-a-t") but then say the word in its entirety ("cat").

Each child was different and went at their own pace. After the child could both sound out and read each word, he or she could take the book home to read it to their parent. It was always a proud and joyful moment for both the child and the parent(s)! Of course, some children were so eager to take their book home, we had to ask them to wait just a little longer! But more important, our goal was to have each child LOVE reading, this always came before any Montessori "rules".

And, yes, it is true, some children were better at memorizing words than sounding them out. And we did not consider memorizing a word (without being able to sound it out) true reading. This was a little tricky because some children did not quite understand!

It is unfortunate what happened to this mom and her son. What should have been a proud and joyful moment was turned into a big disappointment.

"Where, Oh Where, Has My Little Toddler Gone, Oh..."

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Thu, 01 May 2008 03:30:00 +0000

Where's my little toddler who says, "Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!" Or who insists on doing everything himself! My toddler who used to take long naps, and eat like a horse (a small horse, OK, a pony, a small pony).

He's turning into a three year old preschooler! (THANK GOODNESS!)

Yes, I can really see the difference in my growing tot, longer and leaner, and do I dare say, he listens to me now (sort of). Shorter naps, which means he falls asleep earlier at night!

He's still a monkey, running and climbing and throwing and jumping all around, but how can I say it, he's becoming more wily: he waits until I go into the bathroom, for example, to climb over the gate into the kitchen!

And he now shows a strong and growing interest in numbers and counting, a sure sign the toddler year(s) are going, going, gone.

Did I say THANK GOODNESS! Yes, I did!

Bye, bye tantrums and fights over changing diapers and clothes (well, almost!).

Is It Too Late to Start Montessori?

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 04:36:00 +0000

I get asked this question a lot: "Is it to late to start Montessori with my older child?"

Usually the mom tells me she is not happy with the local public school and or her child is not doing well, and that she has heard great things about Montessori, but feels it is too late to start it at home!

Some moms have read books on Montessori and realize their child has missed out on the foundation of the Montessori preschool years.

These moms are in a quandary as to what to do! So they come to me because they trust my judgement and wisdom! I am a mom, too, after all.

You can worry yourself sick trying to figure out the best educational choices for your child!

And boy do I know the feeling! I think about the best educational choices for my son ALL THE TIME due to his Down syndrome! He's only 3 1/2 and I'm already thinking about high school!

So here is what I tell these moms: I think you can begin Montessori homeschooling at any age, and the 6-9 curriculum offers a lot of choices for math, language, history, and the sciences, choices that are superior to traditional approaches.

The "foundation" will be different since you are started a little (or a lot late), and this is not uncommon. I always tell homeschoolers getting a late start (using Montessori) not to dwell on it! You want your children to love learning, that should always be your bottom line! Always!

What many homeschoolers do is use Montessori along with OTHER homeschool curriculum... and you may want to consider this for your 6 to 9 year old.

Still other homeschoolers are attracted to Montessori 6-9 but are Creationist, so they will only use Montessori math and language; or they are OK with the Montessori sciences (which includes the theory of Evolution) but cannot afford the math materials so they will use a different (homeschool) math program...

So I guess what I'm saying is, it doesn't have to be all or nothing!

Be open to whatever you find "out there" for your children, including Montessori!

Children Who Won't Ingage in Activities

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 04:15:00 +0000

Do you have a child who is a challenge in the classroom or homeschool: the child does not choose work activities; or does not want to come to school or stay in the homeschool area?

Here is what you do: find out what the child absolutely LOVES. Trucks? Cats? Worms? Barney? Elmo? Art? The color red? What ever it is, make activities that include them! Matching cats, sorting colors, scrubbing a truck, dressing Elmo... activities the child cannot resist!

This is one of the greatest lessons you can learn! And you are learning from a young child!

So find out what the child loves! And call them "games" if that helps (instead of work).

It is the children who become our teachers, and the best ones are the most challenging!

Footnote: consider this popular book, highly recommended by many moms in my mothers club (it always comes up when moms ask for help with their challenging young child!): Raising Your Spirited Child.

Spaghetti Heaven!

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 04:18:00 +0000

Like some preschool aged children, my son is fixated on one food for dinner: he'll eat the same thing each night, for months at a time.

Gone is the Italian turkey meatloaf! Now my son eats plain buttered salted pasta (angel hair to be exact--it takes three minutes to cook!).

But what a mess!

Sometimes I just can't watch.

However, isn't observing your child part of the Montessori philosophy! Well... yeah. So I have to watch my son eat his messy meal. Darn!

And guess what! By watching him suck down his noodles, I caught him trying to pick up the spaghetti strands using the pincer grasp--a very hard task for children with Down syndrome! Dinner has become a great fine motor activity for him!

Now I look at his messy meal as an educational feast!

I must come up with some more pasta dishes for my little guy to practice his fine motor development!

Too bad he won't eat peas! Hey! Wait a minute... if I stick some green peas in his pasta, he'll have to USE HIS PINCER GRASP to pick them out!

I'm off to the store to buy some frozen peas! (And more pasta!)

Dress Up Fun! (If you can afford the mirror!)

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 04:21:00 +0000

For two years I searched for an affordable (OK, cheap) acrylic child-safe mirror for my son. I live near two children's second-hand stores, a Salvation Army, a Goodwill, and two other second-hand stores (who needs Ebay!)... but I never found one.

So I recently began my search online, first with Ebay (OK, I need Ebay), then I did a Google search. It took a few hours, but I found the lowest costing baby-proof stand-alone mirror out there in Cyber space (OK, some one's warehouse). IT COST A SMALL FORTUNE!

Since when did dressing up in front of a mirror become so expensive?

After the gold-plated mirror arrived (OK, wood framed mirror) I set up a basket with three items in it for my son to use for playing in front of the mirror. He loved it, as I knew he would.

It made me think of those VISA commercials you see on TV: scarf, $10. Sunglasses, $18. Hat, $15. Mirror plus shipping, $100. Watching your three-year old play dress up, priceless!

(I made up those prices, except for the freakin' mirror!)

Maybe I should go into the child-mirror making business!

When Will He Go In The Potty Again!? A Potty Training False Start

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 04:41:00 +0000

I get potty training questions a lot, like: "How and when do I start potty training?" Not, "When do I start potty training AGAIN?!"

Jessica wrote me: "Last summer [my son] was really interested in potty training and for a while he would pee in the potty every time.... As it got cold he lost all interest in the potty and would not go at all.... I am waiting for him to show interest in it again. From time to time I ask him if he would like to pee in the potty always the answer is no.... I appreciate any tips on potty training as well. Thanks for all your help."

My response: Sounds like a typical boy! They take a lot longer to potty train, and will usually have a "false start." (My son had one six months ago!)

Did your child have a false start recently? You can wait until he shows interest again, but there is no predicting when that will be.

Read potty books together, that is nice to do while you are waiting (and it makes you feel like you are doing SOMETHING).

There are also good potty videos and DVDs to let your child watch!

Some moms offer stickers for rewards for going in the potty, but this soon wears off after so many stickers are given out. (Plus it is not Montessori, oh well.)

One of my mom friends accidentally used jelly beans for rewards! She rewarded her son one day for trying, with a jelly bean from a tub she got as a gift, and he never forgot it. He insisted on getting one every time he TRIED and he'd try ten times a day but never go--ha! So if you use this type of reward, have them brush their teeth, but make sure it is for GOING not trying!

Most experienced toddler teachers will say the only way to do it is to put them in underwear all the time. Hmmmm... That makes it a question of: "When are YOU ready for potty training (again)!"

If you can put your child in pull-ups, that gives him practice to pull it on and off. And they make pull-ups that allow the child to feel wet, but don't use them at night as they hold very little!

Plastic pants are also a good choice, if you can wash them all!

And wait until summer to let him run around the house or yard in underwear, or not--some moms do it the old-fashioned way: nothing below the waist! (Not recommended for carpets.)

Share your toilet training experience! Leave a comment!

Climbing Madness!

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 04:48:00 +0000

I wanted to call this post "I'm in climbing Hell" but I did not think it appropriate for a Montessori blog--but I wanted to!

My son is literally climbing the walls (and baby gates and chairs and table tops and bookshelves and the tops of boxes and sometimes the cat--the friendly one). He is going through climbing madness!

OK, not really, but it feels like madness to me! Why? I'm always saying: "Please get down from there!" "Chairs are for sitting on!" "Tables are for eating on!" "How did you get up there?!" "Don't climb on the stereo!" "Hey!" "No!" (Notice how I begin to sound less like Montessori teacher and more like a frustrated mom!)

My son cannot stop climbing. He climbs on EVERYTHING. I actually took half the furniture out of our living room slash dining room because he would not stop crawling on and jumping off stuff! (I swear he was a mountain goat in another life!)

We do allow him to climb on the couch and his eating chair, out of guilt for living in a small home with no yard. And we take him to the park or out for a walk. (Good news, we are buying a house this summer! And it will have no furniture! OK, some.)

Maybe he will be a world renowned rock climber some day!

What child madness is going on in your home? Make a comment!

Can you give a toddler a lesson?

newmearth@yahoo.com (Lisa Nolan) — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 04:49:00 +0000

Want to know the truth? Toddlers don't really like lessons!

They are still learning how to control their bodies (and bodily functions!). They rebel against help and interference from adults, like diaper changes, getting dressed, sitting at the dinner table, and taking a nap...

And they insist on doing everything themselves! The trouble is they (still) need a lot of help! So you are always trying to help while letting them do it themselves!

So how does giving a three period lesson work in a Montessori environment for this age group? It doesn't!

(My son's Montessori toddler teacher--with over 30 years experience, will laugh at you when you pose the question!)

If you are working with toddlers, my advice is to hold off on giving those three period lessons until age three, and put out activities the toddler needs no help with.

And you can rotate activities: take out what is too hard or frustrating for her (what she swats off the table, or throws, or never chooses); as well as what she has mastered--what is too easy... while still keeping her favorite activities in the environment.

Why are toddlers so hard to pin down and give a lesson to?

1) They do not have the attention span, or it is fleeting (one day they do, one day they don't).

2) They do not have the social skills (during a three period lesson) to say, "I'm done, let's put this away!" or "I want to do something else, now."

3) They are still in a large motor movement stage of development, so they will not sit for long!

Suggestions: Again, have activities that do not require a lesson. What's important is to spend more time observing your toddler in the environment for his interests--likes and dislikes; and his skill level (can he hold a piece of chalk or pour pasta, yet?).

And by observing your tot, you can add, rotate, and change activities, based on your observations.

Does your toddler take a lesson? Leave a comment!