Confessions of a stay-at-home Mom

His Hands

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 03:04:00 +0000

I held his hands a lot.

His hands were rough and calloused. He worked so hard and his hands truly showed how much he loved his work. They were strong. They were scarred. He had little bits of paint in the creases of his nails.

These were the same hands that held me as a baby. That taught me how to play ball. That held me when I was sick. That held my babies.

It was my turn to hold his hand. How I wished he could squeeze my hand. I held his hands hoping and praying he could feel me there and somehow feel how much I loved him. I moved his fingers around. Wiggled his wrist up and down. Rolled up wash cloths to put in his hands when I or mom was not around to hold them.

The nurses rubbed his hands down with lotion twice a day. Mom clipped his nails. The paint chips disappeared. The callouses disappeared. His hands started to take on the look of a man who never knew what manual labor was. They were smooth, the nails were shiny with neat edges. His strong hands had lost their strength.

Now he is in God's hands.

Words cannot express how much I miss him and how much he meant to me.

When I need him the most.

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 04:35:00 +0000

I haven't needed this in so long I almost forgot how to log in. This blog has been my outlet for so long and in recent months I just have not needed it. I stay so busy that I barely have time to breathe let alone sit and type out my thoughts.

I need it now. I have a husband. A good husband. We are so in tune to each other on so many levels. Except one. A major one. Affection. I need affection like I need air or water. He could care less. At least that is how I feel. Ever since the beginning of our relationship we have had issues with that area. I am not talking about sex, just basic affection. He says I demand it. That much is probably true. I am a very demanding woman. He does not seem to need the hugs or even little touches as much as I do. At times I wish I was not so needy.

Like right now, I am sitting in the livingroom while he is in the bedroom because I complained and left the room. I was almost asleep when he came to bed and I scooted closer to him, this is a big deal because we sleep on opposite sides of a king size bed. I was in and out of sleep while he was watching tv and getting up and down for some reason or another. He came back to bed and had his head at the foot of the bed. He turned up the tv loud enough to bother me and that was pretty loud since I suffer from a fair amount of hearing loss. I looked up at him and he just sees nothing wrong with this. He says I was asleep so what did it matter. If I was asleep I would not have been able to tell him what tv shows he was watching or whatever. Should that even matter? He knows I wanted to be near him. And this is my fault.

Now I have a lot of serious stuff going on in my life right now and he has been fairly supportive. So why is he pulling away now? It is okay when he does want affection or wants attention because usually I am willing to give it. I just want him to give me what I need right now. I know he is capable of it otherwise why would I have spent the last 10 years of my life with him?

Cheap or crazy? I think both.

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 23:06:00 +0000

So apparently I am a nutty woman right now. What's new about that though right? We decided to have the kids birthday parties together this year. Money was a big factor, they both wanted a "jumping" party and for those of you reading this that do not know about those parties, they are freakin outrageous. I am talking three hundred dollars for a 2 hour party. Stupid. I know. We have not been able to take the kids on any sort of vacation for the last 2 years and we really have not spent hardly any money on anything besides the basics in forever. So the kids deserve this. Ansley wants "hannah" themed stuff and Joey wants "super mario". Hannah has been no problem. They make everything under the sun with hannah on it. That is one rich little bitch for sure. Now Mario stuff is insanely hard to find. I have found a few things but damn, I am not willing to pay over 10 bucks on ebay for a freakin bag of mario gummies. Especially since I have done a little research and found out they sell them at dollar tree. Just not a dollar tree near me. I just want so badly to make this a good party for both my kids and I know, treat bags are not even really for my kids, they are for the other kids so what the hell am I stressing about right? I really just want to scream! I am not a martha stewart mom who is going to hand make all the party crap. I have too much on my plate for that. Mike keeps telling me I am worrying about this too much and I know I am, it is just that nagging little voice in the back of my head that wants this perfect and I am going crazy trying.

Question....

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Wed, 14 May 2008 20:09:00 +0000

So almost everyone has inlaws. Are yours as fucked up as mine?

I really need to know. I am so damn tired of being played against my sister in law who at one time I was very close to. I am tired of my kids being played against hers. The way I see it, The first grandchild had that family all to herself for over 8 years. My god, is it too much to ask for them to treat my kids the same?

For the record, I am trying this new thing where I do not bitch at my husband about his family so I am just gonna get it all out here that way he does not have to deal with it. He did have to live with them growing up, Not me. It sounds like I have no love for this family when in fact, it is quite the opposite. I care pretty deeply about them that is why this shit gets to me so bad.

Just once I would love for someone, anyone to put me first. Help me when I have a problem. Invite me to do stuff because you want me with you, not because you want to make another family member fucking jealous. Apparently I have potty mouth issues today. There have to be other people out there with this issue. It really is true, you do marry the family, not just the man. Too bad you cannot divorce the family and keep the man.

Depression gets old fast....

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 05:57:00 +0000

It is late and I cannot sleep. That is rare for me to say. Usually I can fall asleep if I am sitting still for more than five minutes. I haven't been writing because I haven't needed to.

Now I do. I have so many things I need to get out and I can't. So many things are going on, things beyond my control, and it is making me crazy. Right now I should be happy. But of course I am not. My house is becoming nicer, things are somewhat looking up financially, the kids have been healthier this year. They have the flu, strep, and croup at the moment so now is not really the time for me to tout their good fortune with health.

The whole health thing brings me to my mom. She has all these symptoms and things going on and I know it is scaring her, but she will not get things done in a timely manner. It has been three weeks now and we still do not know much else other than she may have cancer. She keeps saying she cannot miss work. I guess that is her way of dealing with this but I am being selfish and want to know what is wrong and what we can do to fix it.

Worrying has been a part of me ever since I can remember. I worry about today, tomorrow, ten years from now. It is not a good thing, I know. Since I haven't been in school for a little while now and I have not been writing, I have been reading. Everything I can get my hands on. That is my way of dealing with stress I suppose. Being this sad and freaking weepy is horrible. I hate it. I have a roof over my head, my husband has a good job, everything should be peachy. Yet I sit here and cry. I don't do this in front of the kids and I try not to do it in front of Mike. He would understand I know but something will not let me go to him.

When I was in school, I will say this, I had no time to worry about anything other than what was at hand that day or due the next. I am putting off going back until I find out what is wrong with mom. Surprisingly enough, I enjoyed school. I actually did really well. I missed Mike and the kids of course but it was only a few hours a week that I was away. Time away did wonders for me. I was so happy to see the kids and play with them and it did them well to have so much time alone with their dad. The grades of course were a tremendous self esteem booster, which I desperately needed. This time I am not worried about finishing school, I know I will, it just might take me a little while. I will eventually quit my blubbering.

Still alive...

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 04:13:00 +0000

Yep.

I am still alive.

School was kicking my ass so I had literally no time to "joy" write, I was writing papers and doing homework. I took this quarter off. I think I did fairly well. 3 quarters straight, full time. Pretty good for someone who had not been in school since 99. Things are kinda sketchy right now but I am going back in spring or summer. All depends on how things work out.

I have been a basket case the last 2 weeks. Mike and I just celebrated our 8th anniversary. In the grand tradition of things, of course something went wrong on our anniversary. I was actually hosting a playdate that morning, my first in almost a year. My mom calls. She had been at the doctor and they gave her some very disturbing news. She may have cancer. So far she has had some labwork, had a CT scan and is about to have an MRI and endoscopy. It is killing me because I want answers and I want them now. I do not like waiting on things.

On a lighter note, everything is good with the kids. Ansley started Pre K in august. I am room mother, surprise surprise. Joey is potty trained and moved to the big class at mothers day out. My kids are growing up on me. They no longer even resemble toddlers. Ansley is starting to read and does not even realize it. Joey can kick just about anyone's ass on just about any mario game. Speaking of games...

The kids and I are addicted to webkinz. Yes, those stupid stuffed animal things you register online. I love them! Mike gave me the pink poodle webkin for an early valentines gift. Ansley and Joey can navigate around that site almost as well as I can. Never thought I would have bought into the hype of an expensive stuffed animal :) Everyone has their vice though right?

Prayer For Casey

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 22:16:00 +0000

Please support our friend Casey by digging the article and visiting coderswasteland and posting a comment. Since the article was posted Casey has moved up from bench warmer to making his first double. He awaits at 2nd base and will hopefully be waved in to slide into home really soon. Thank you for your support from the Organization for Helping Casey Score (OHCS)

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I did it, I did it, I did it, Hooray!

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Sun, 22 Jul 2007 14:09:00 +0000

So I am on a break from school. This quarter finally ended. And I made it though without quitting. Those that know me, I am sure expected me to quit. I have never really accomplished much of anything besides my marriage and my kids without quitting. Ohhhh, and I guess I ought to mention my 4.0 GPA. I think I did pretty good for that being my first time in college going full time.

My priorities are a little different now. Being away from the kids so much has "enlightened" me so to speak. My kids are my motivation for doing well in school. I miss them so much, and I want to make the time I am away, worthwhile. I want to make them proud of their mom. Here I am sounding like I am away from them all the time... It is like 2-3 hours most days. I think I am just trying to justify it again so I do not feel guilty. I have been having some major guilt issues over being in school. I am doing it to myself because Mike has been extremely supportive.

I yelled at Mike the other night. Want to know why? He put the dishes away wrong. He moved things around in the cabinet. He made dinner that night, cleaned the kitchen and even did a few loads of laundry. And I yelled at him. In my insane little mind, I told him he was trying to pull some little power play by changing the way I had things in the cabinets. That I do not tell him how to do his job, or go through and rearrange his computer crap. I was a little nutty that night. Guilt was eating me alive, I had like 4 papers to write, and felt like I had not done anything with or for my family.

Some of that craziness was because I missed a "first". I missed Ansley going down the slide at my in laws' pool. She and Joey are both swimming under water now. Mike obviously is a better teacher with the swimming thing because I am overprotective.

Anyways, I am back for now and for the next two weeks I am out of school so I am gonna be freaking out about Ansley starting school. Hope all is well with everyone!

All by myself....

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 03:42:00 +0000

So I had this evening all to myself. I guess I should say afternoon. Hell, I have been alone since about 2:30 today and it is almost midnight. There. Got it out.

Mike and the kids went to atlanta for the red sox/braves game. The one I was supposed to go to and could not because I had a midterm. So I wore my t-shirt anyway and went to class. Took my exam, wrote my essays and I hope to god I did better on this than I did on my first test in psychology. Not that I did horribly, I passed, got a 76. I was hoping for better but I think I overdid it with the studying. In ethics and psychology. We will see next week though.

I got home from school around 6, checked my email, walked around the house thinking wow, it is super quiet. Debated on taking a long bath but I decided to go to the movies instead. I had never gone to see a movie alone. I actually enjoyed myself. Went to see "Knocked Up", it was cute. I would almost venture to say it was worth the $9.25 I had to pay for my ticket. Overall, I think this evening has been very nice, no noise, no disruptions. I needed it in a big way. My brain felt like it was going to explode if I tried to add one more thing.

Speaking of abnormal brains, I have a paper to write in psychology. A topic that pertains to something in psyhology that has pros and cons and requires critical thinking. Any ideas would be appreciated as I have yet to get started on this and it is due, oh a week from now. So seriously, give me ideas for a topic people. I am in dire need.

4 going on 20

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 11:34:00 +0000

Yesterday I picked up a friend's daughter, K, for swimming lessons. She gets in the car and I buckle her in the booster seat and shut the door. I get in and start driving off. I hear the girls talking in the back. They sound so serious...

K: Ansley, I have some bad news....

Ansley: Oh no! What happened?

K: My fish died

Ansley: Oh how terrible! Are you so sad?

Bear in mind, K just turned 5 and Ansley is 4. This just floored me! They sound like little women already! Their tone was so serious... I had to try so hard to keep from laughing. I had to call K's mom immediately and she was just as in awe as I was.

They grow up so fast. It is hard to see your 4 year old already acting like she is 20.

*Mike brought something to my attention about the title of my post, now I was never a pot head so I did not catch the "420" reference.

Back... for the time being.

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Thu, 24 May 2007 12:16:00 +0000

So I have kinda neglected the blogging thing lately. A lot has been going on though. I guess I can use that as an excuse.

I am officially registered for school. God help me, I am taking 4 classes. Monday through Thurday nights and Saturday mornings. I start June 4th and I am scared to death. How am I gonna do this and still be Mommy and wife and well, I am not a good housekeeper to begin with so that does not even count. I really hope I am ready for this.

Tuesday was a bad day for me. Joey screamed when I left him at school,some bad news, and a bad hair cut. Joey seems to be having a tough time of it again lately with school. He and Ansley only go 2 mornings a week for almost 4 hours. He was doing so good, just kissing me bye and running off to play. Now he screams like he is dying and grabs onto whatever part of me he can reach. Which in turn makes me cry, but I know he needs to get over this attachment thing he has going on. Do any of you think there may be an underlying reason for this?

The hair is trivial and stupid, I know. It will grow back. For now though, my hair is shorter than my husbands... think really short pixie type cut. The few people that have seen me, their jaw dropped. So it is a major change for me. I go to push my hair back out of habit and realize, oh, I do not have any hair anymore. Whatever.

The bad news was that my brother and his wife lost their baby, she was 8 months along. It just makes me sick to think about it. I cannot even imagine what they are going though. I haven't talked to them yet, my dad has and just relays messages. I want to do something to let them know I care, but what? You don't send your brother a sympathy card and a plant. I am just trying to respect their privacy right now because I feel like that is what I would want. If you get a moment, pray for them.

I feel like an ass complaining about my hair then talking about my brother's loss. No comparison at all. There are lots of things going on in everyone's life, I guess it is all in the way you handle it.

Testing...quiet please!

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Thu, 03 May 2007 17:08:00 +0000

Before I get started, let me just say, I am over the MIL crap. I have not spoken to her and have no plans to in the future, so we will see where that goes later.

Took my entrance exam for college since I have been out so long. Turns out, I am not as dumb as I thought! I scored a 92 in reading, a 99 in english, and a 71 in pre algebra and a 31 in algebra. I have always said math is not my thing. So, to put it bluntly, I am only going to have to take one remedial algebra class instead of three. And of course, no remedial english. That totally made my weekend. I still have yet to see if any of my previous classes will transfer. I hope at least one or two will.

Ansley had her first belly dancing class last friday. A friend of mine did a little research and found a class for our daughters to attend together. I liked it, Ansley was a little shy though. She already knew how to roll her belly (thanks to my belly dancing days). It just made me want to start taking classes again. I loved it! I am going to let her go again and if she decides she likes it we will keep going. She loves to do it at home, she is just so shy in front of people. Anyways, here are my babies, Ansley at the studio and Ansley teaching Joey what she learned. At least he is gonna be cultured right?

MIL, need I say more?

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 19:21:00 +0000

My inlaws are at it again. Seriously, I don't know how my husband turned out okay with such fucking nutjobs for parents. My mother in law is a supremely heartless crazy bitch. Probably off her meds again. It was brought to my attention recently that she "pays our bills and takes care of our kids" all the time. Another family member of his told me this. My reply? That is such bullshit. She has never even watched our kids but a couple of times and only a few hours at that. She has helped us with the bills a couple of times, but would you want it broadcast that you had to ask for help? I mean come on, that is just cruel. She called me to today to brag that she just won 450 bucks in bingo... yeah I know that is lame, but the money part is what she wanted me to hear, then goes on to say "it is going to take you guys a while to be able to fix Mike's car isn't it?" I tell her yeah, we have to save it up. She says, "aww, thats too bad, it is hot out". Mike's car he is driving now has no air conditioning. Is that just being a bitch or am I crazy? Here she is telling me she won money and then in the next breath making sure that it is going to take a while for us to fix Mike's other car. I am so pissed off I am sure I am not even making any sense right now.

On top

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 17:49:00 +0000

Today has been a good day. I probably just jinxed myself, but oh well. The kids have been behaving, I have done some cleaning and I did a little workout. I feel like I am on top of things.

Lately I have been obsessing about my weight. Like every woman does. This time has been a little different though. I have been making a very conscious effort to eat better and a LOT less. It has been paying off, I have lost 17 pounds so far. Apparently people around you that see you all the time just do not notice.

My goal is to look good in this . Only mine says "Married into it". We have tickets to go see the sox play the braves in June, and I want to wear my t-shirt. And look good in it.

I want to scream and kick too!

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 19:07:00 +0000

Ever just feel like screaming? I know I do right now. I feel like just taking my laptop and throwing it on the floor and stomping on it... all because the right shift key is fucked up and I am just in that bad of a mood.

Things are going relatively well right now so I should be all happy and cheery but no, not me, I can never make things easy. Today has been flat out hell. Evidently my kids do not like me. If they do, I hate to see what they would do to torture someone. We had been having a good week, or so I thought anyway. I have taken them to the lake, played outside with them for hours and we had fun, so I guess I was due for a temper tantrum day. Today is that day. Nothing but screaming and kicking and just in general being bad. I had planned on taking them fishing today. Glad I have a brain and figured, gee, if they are being this bad at home, I wonder how bad they would be up at the lake with fish hooks and other things to hurt each other and me. So I said no fishing and thus started round 2 of the screaming.

We have made it to round 3 and they are still alive so I feel like I am ahead of the game.

Lots of crap has happened this month, and in spite of my pissy mood today, I think I am handling it relatively well. Mike was in a car accident a few weeks ago. Thank god he was not hurt and neither was the other guy, but I have to say, rookie cops suck. Mike's car was damaged so badly that it was not even driveable. The car we just bought in February. Since we are on the poor side, I have been only carrying liability on the cars. Which means we are responsible for fixing it. Again, thank god for good friends, my friend's husband does body work and is trying to help us. Mike started his new job and that seems to be going well. We finally all have health and life insurance. It is kinda funny though, he is the "minority" in that office. I guess that comes with the line of work. I finally got off my ass and I am going back to school. I start in June. I am scared to death. So a lot of bad and good has happened. And I have calmed down a bit since I started writing this. A glass of wine would be nice right about now. Add in a kid free bubble bath, a good book and some dark chocolate and I would be in heaven. Maybe one day.

It's Pretty...

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 14:21:00 +0000

Okay, first I am going to say I may possibly be PMSing. I don't know, I never keep up with that shit. But I am definitely in a mood.

Ever just want to feel pretty? I mean like you go get your hair done, everyone keeps telling you wow, you look like a different person, it really suits you and the one person you want to impress just really isn't impressed or if they are they just don't really show it? By the way, I finally went and got my hair cut and yes, it looks very different.

I was talking online with my dear husband this morning and he just installed windows vista pro, I believe that is what it is called. He was telling me he seems to like it, that it is very easy to use, and then, get this, he says "it's pretty". WTF? I am dying over here because all I want is to freaking feel pretty and he tells me windows is "pretty". Guess that is what I get for marrying a nerd.

I will get over it.

Everyone is stylish but the mom....

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 13:01:00 +0000

Okay, so everyone has been sick for the last month, Ansley was hospitalized, Mike almost was and Joey and I were just plain old sick. Anyways, all is better now.

I had to get up at the crack of dawn today. Our niece Kristin spent the night with us and I had to get her up and dressed in time for school. She is 12 now so it is becoming fun to dress her. I put a little makeup on her, loaned her a cute beaded necklace along with my little jean jacket that I swear I am going to fit back into one day... Anyways, I had fun prissing her up.

Mike has another interview this morning. It is kinda weird, I love interview days with him because I get to dress him. He is a good looking man, but put him in the right clothes and you kinda see him in a new light. I was at the door this morning watching him walk to his car and he looked soooo good! Not that he does not always look good, it is just one of those things.... Something about a man in a tie I suppose. That and my affinity for sweater vests. I think I did get on his nerves a bit though, putting moisturizer on his face, telling him to ease up on the cologne... Overall I think it was a successful look. We will know soon enough.

I go to get my hair done this week. I think I am having it all whacked off again. I am in dire need of a new look. Ditched my cute little nose ring back before christmas. At one of the kids' school parties I was helping out and one little girl asked what the sparkly thing on my nose was and suddenly I am being inspected by 12 preschoolers wanting to know why I have an earring in my nose so I figured it was time. Plus I just do not want to be that mom. You guys know what I am talking about, the one so voraciously grasping at her youth she does not even realize she looks ridiculous....by the way, I am turning 30 this summer and it is umm, bothering me is one way to put it. The fact that Mike keeps dangling his upcoming 29th birthday is not helping either. I gave him 2 options for my birthday. And plenty of time to either save or plan. A big party or a full, and I mean full, day at a spa. I have a few more months though...

Save $15 at FTD for Valentine's Day

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Sun, 11 Feb 2007 04:01:00 +0000

Yeah, its a hallmark holiday, but you better get your significant other something. Why not save $15? No gimmicks, no scams, no signing up for SPAM! I just figured I'd share the savings!

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Training a dog....

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 15:22:00 +0000

And no, I am not referring to my husband or men in general. Although, I know that popped into your head.

Anways, we got a new member of the family. As if we do not have enough going on, we add a new dog. We miss Mona terribly and having a big dog around is nice. So, being the good person that I am, I opt to post on freecycle for anyone with any unwanted puppies. Got several responses, one just broke my heart. It was for a dog with 3 legs! I wanted it but I know we could not afford the vet bills and the fact that my kids would probably injure one of its good legs. Okay, off on a tangent there, back to topic. We adopted a little puppy we named Manny, after Ansley's favorite redsox player. He is half weimaraner and we think half lab. He is a hellion.

Yesterday was almost my breaking point with him. He has been doing pretty good with the house training. Till yesterday. He shit in the house 4 times. 4 times! Oh my god I was pissed and ready to get rid of him. I forgot how hard puppies can be. Mike had to remind me of how hard it was to train Mona, I mean we kept her and she did totally annihilate 3 couches. Big difference though, one was eating my shit, the other, shitting all over my house. I can tolerate things that are not disgusting. Today so far is much better. I am trying a new loving approach, after each nap that I catch him waking up from, I hug him and throw his ass out the doggy door. It is working better.

I may be teaching the kids a bad thing though. Each time I catch Manny chewing on something he shouldn't, and believe me, it is often, I pop him on the butt with it and tell him no. Then give him one of his toys. The kids are now doing this too. They of course are a lot more gentle about it than I am, which is a good thing and there is no sarcasm there.

If there are any tricks to weimaraners or labs that anyone can inform me of, I would be grateful.

Here is the little monster that we absolutely love...

Umm, anyone see my mind?

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Sat, 03 Feb 2007 03:05:00 +0000

I think I am losing my fucking mind. I have been sick for the last 3 days and it feels like an eternity. Mike has been taking care of the kids so I can sleep, but it is that restless in and out kind of sleep where you do not really get any rest. The times I am able to sleep I have been having the freakiest dreams where you wake up pissed off at everyone you know. Coffee is not even helping! Mike brought me a large cup of coffee from dunkin donuts today and I fell asleep while drinking it. I slept literally all day. I did not get up till after 6. I am losing my days and my nights. Yes, I do realize none of this is interesting and no one really wants to read my complaints but hell, I guess it is better than laying it all on my family who is actually trying to take care of me.

In love again...

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Mon, 22 Jan 2007 01:16:00 +0000

So I guess I f-ed up that last entry, my little movie worked when I first put it up. Oh well.

I am soooo in love right now! I found a new drink. New to me anyway. The mojito. Ahhhhh is all I can say. That drink is like sushi to me. I can never get enough and cannot afford it all the time.

Be back soon.

My Humps

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 03:46:00 +0000

Ansley and Joey dancin to My Humps.

Inlaws.... Enough said?

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Fri, 05 Jan 2007 00:43:00 +0000

Typically everyone dislikes their inlaws. As if marriage wasn't hard enough without throwing in a few extra assholes. Anyways, I am sure you are getting the point that my inlaws are distressing me. Actually one in particular has pissed me the fuck off.

Imagine this, you have a son, he works hard, goes to college at night while raising a family. You would be proud of him right? He may have chosen the hard way about things but he is doing it. Your son graduates and you tell him that you have to work, you can't go to his graduation dinner, you picked up an extra shift because he made the request that his niece, your grandchild, not be present at his celebration because she tends to ruin a good time.

The asshole has not even told him he is proud of him for graduating from college! With a fucking computer science degree! I can't say anything to him out of respect for my husband, but god how I want to.

Perplexed or just plain confused

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 14:20:00 +0000

Today feels weird. Mike went to work this morning and the kids are asleep and I am all alone. For the moment anyway. Mike has been home for the last week or so and I have gotten used to him being around. So now I feel a little funny without someone glaring at me for being on the laptop. Usually it is the other way around.

We made it through the holidays, undamaged, for the most part. The kids are all happy and still basking in the after Santa clause glow. Toys are overflowing from my livingroom because I have yet to go through the toyroom and make a rather large donation pile. Which, I will be doing this week by the way.... So if any of you know me and want to lay claim to some outgrown toys and clothes, tell me now.

I still do not know just what I am feeling yet about the whole graduation thing. It just doesn't seem real yet. I guess maybe when he switches jobs and moves me halfway across the US I will realize it then, you think? I do not know if it is the area we live in, cost of living is mighty low considering some of the other places I read about, or if we are just used to being poor, but houses elsewhere are astronomical! And we live in a good area in a nice neighborhood.

The realization that Ansley is 4 now, just kicked in. I have to start making school preparations. I am beyond scared. She is a very intelligent child so I know she is ready in that aspect, but am I ready to let her go for 8 hours a day? I am having chest pains at the thought. I found a private school that does half day pre-k and kindergarten. It comes highly recommended and seems to be more than I could have hoped for, but can we afford it? And would I be holding her back by not letting her attend public school? The reason we bought this house 7 years ago was for the school district, we knew eventually we would have kids and I am definitely not the "homeschool" type. So, what are your thoughts, and dammit, somebody respond. I know people read my blog, I do have the customary numerous trackers you know....

Kickin' it old skool!

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 02:31:00 +0000

So we had a good Christmas, everyone got way too much stuff, our house is now overrun with toys... Even more so than before. And my husband and kids are addicted to video games. The hubby camped out at target all night for his wii, so now he and the kids are totally loving it. I have to say I am mildly impressed, it is a nifty little gadget. But here comes the old skool part.... We got my mom an Atari flashback 2 for Christmas. Ansley so kicks ass at playing Atari. She kicks my ass at boxing on the wii too. I guess with her father having a degree in computer science she is destined for technology.....

and yes!!!!

You read it right.... HE GRADUATED!!!!!!!!!

I am so unbelievably proud of him! He officially graduated on December 20, Ansley's birthday. I think the shock of it has not set in yet. With the holidays and everything we have been so busy we have not had time to enjoy his freedom. I told him now that he is going to be home so much we are going to discover we really do not like each other. This will be the first time in 8 years that he is not "in school". He has been in school the entire time we have been together, it is going to be weird!

I do hope that everyone had a safe and wonderful holiday and I wish you all a happy new year!