If you find yourself unable to summon up courage to voice your own opinion, or to tell someone to back off when you need to, then it is probably a sign that you need to improve your self confidence. Here are 4 easy tips that will help you do just that.

Tip #1: Set Goals
The first step in gaining self confidence is to set realistic and achievable goals for yourself. These goals should not be unachievable nor out of reach, but should be a challenge for you so that you can improve. No goal is too small, as every little step counts and works towards achieving the next bigger goal. With set goals, you will be able to push yourself to exceed your comfort zone, and it will give you something concrete to work towards.

Tip #2: Control your Feelings
Feelings are strong emotions that can have a big impact on our self confidence. Emotions associated with fear, anxiety or distrust can undermine our self esteem, whilst others like happiness and excitement can increase our self confidence. By being able to control your emotions so that you do not fall prey to negative emotions, you will be able to project positive emotions. This makes it easier for you to act and appear more confident.

Tip #3: Have a Mentor
Pick someone that you trust who will be able to give you the type of guidance that you are looking for. Make sure that it is someone who will not be afraid to push you to achieve your goals, and hold you accountable if you are not reaching them. It can be a friend or a family member, or a professional even.

Tip #4: Take Action
Do not allow yourself to procrastinate as you need to take active steps in order to build confidence. It is often a vicious cycle if you insist on waiting for your confidence to improve first before taking action to help you grow your self-confidence. Based on the goals that you have set for yourself, set aside an hour or so everyday to work on doing activities that will help you to achieve those targets.

Stop yourself from worrying about being unprepared, or not confident enough to approach new activities. Whilst it is normal to worry, it is important that you do not do so excessively. There are many possibilities open to you, and you need to be receptive to developing your own self-confidence.

Whether you feel that you have sufficient self confidence, or that you have room for improvement, do keep in mind that the key is in striking a balance between your level of confidence, and the life path that you are charting. If these two are not complementary, you may find that a lack of confidence will hinder you from staying on track, whilst overconfidence may prove to be your downfall.

Self confident people are able to determine what they are doing in life, and reach for it with enthusiasm, knowing and placing faith in their strengths and skills to achieve it. Many people seek to improve their self confidence, but it is necessary to draw a line between being confident and over confident. Overconfidence can work against what you are aiming for, blinding you to your own comparative advantages or preventing you from accurately determining if the position you are in is where you desire to be.

Overconfidence also works against you, when you are faced with failures or obstacles when you feel strongly that it should have been straightforward and easily achievable. This results in anger and impulsive behavior, and you may end up souring relationships with your colleagues and close friends. Often, people who are overconfident are unaware that they are, or that they have overreacted. This makes it even more difficult for them to identify if they are overconfident.

A few likely signs that you are overconfident is if you tend to be overly assertive and feel that you are superior to others. You will also find that your friends are keeping their distance, or are somewhat cool towards you, and most people keep a distance from you. If you suspect that you might be overconfident, well done, this is a signal that you are humble enough to deal with your confidence problems.

Constantly keep your pride and confidence in tasks or opinions come in second to logic and analysis. Do not let your confidence cause you to lose your guard, or put in less effort than you should be putting into your work.

Thus, while being confident is desirable, be careful not to over rely on your self confidence or use it as a reason to procrastinate or to cut down on your preparation work.

There are many signs that you have yet to let go and start to move on. You find yourself retracing your footsteps, and every line in your fights, trying to figure out where it went wrong and what you could have done to fix it. You feel that if you could only figure out why your partner left, you would be able to convince them to come back. Worse still, is underlying all these thoughts, the implicit belief that your world is broken and will be magically fixed somehow if your partner would just step back into it.

If you have entertained any of the above thoughts, then it is a sure sign that your self confidence has hit rock bottom. In order to start healing and feeling better about yourself, you have to improve your self confidence at the same time. This is of course, easier said then done.

It is perfectly normal to want to know what went wrong, and if you were truly at fault. Sometimes it could be something that you did, but sometimes, it could simply be that your partner is no longer interested, and it is not because of anything you did or did not do. If you must think back on what happened, you owe it to yourself to figure out if you need to change your attitude, or behavior and actions. Changing these now may not bring your ex back into your life, but it will make your next relationship a lot smoother.

Give yourself time to cope with the sudden loss, and turn to your friends or family to help you adjust back to single hood. Fill in the gaps that your partner has left behind by pursuing activities that you never had time for, or did not do because your other half did not like it. Pick up a new hobby, go on a short holiday, meet new people, and do things that make you happy.

Remind yourself of your own self worth. Make a list of your accomplishments, or compliments that your friends, colleagues or superiors have ever paid you. This will help you keep in mind that you may have some habits that need changing, but so does everyone else, and that you do have many redeeming qualities. Work out some positive affirmations to help you clear your mind of negative thoughts and emotions. Let your subconscious help you with moving on.

All these advice will help you, but you must be willing to help yourself in improving your self confidence after a breakup. Make a checklist or a plan of what you want to achieve, and how you intend to go about achieving it. Give yourself a deadline to meet, and push yourself to do the things that you have listed out. Achieving what you have listed out will help you to feel better about yourself, and give you a sense of control over what you can do in life and help keep your emotions positive.

Do not beat yourself up for grieving over the loss of a relationship, or for taking time to deal with your sorrow. However, do not allow it to keep you down indefinitely. Remember that only when you truly let go will you be able to move on and build a future with someone else. Take this alone time to work through personal issues, or do things that you have always procrastinated doing. When you have learnt to change your bad habits and accept yourself, that is when you know that you are ready to move on and meet someone new.

Men all over the world try endlessly to strike upon the right technique or pick up line, all to secure that first date, and then the subsequent and elusive second date. No technique or pick up line is going to work for you, if you lack self confidence. Women look for a man with value, who can contribute to a relationship. If you lack confidence, however, fret not. Below are 4 powerful steps to gaining confidence with women.

Step 1: Online Dating
Yes, laugh if you want. It is a fallacy that online dating is only for the old or the desperate, but this is not true. It is a great meeting ground for getting to know other people first, before deciding if it is someone you would like to meet in real life. It also gives you the opportunity to let the real you shine through, especially if you tend to seize up upon being in the presence of women. This should give you an indication of what dating is like face to face, it should be about getting to know the other person better, and not about using techniques to secure a second date.

Step 2: Your Personality
No one likes to hear someone spend the entire evening whining about the bitch at work, or how they deserved a promotion more than so-and-so. Similarly, keep the negativity away from your date: it is a sure conversation killer, and you can be assured that your date will never want to see you again. Be positive, and allow your personality to shine through. That is the major determinant on whether you will make it to a second date. Being positive and smiling will also help you to act more confident than you actually are, and confidence is a big draw for women.

Step 3: Location
Suggest a neutral location that your date will feel comfortable in. Pick somewhere central with people, so that she does not feel intimidated or threatened. However, do not go overboard and pick an overly crowded location. This will limit the conversation and the noise levels and crowd will reduce the interaction and opportunities for you to get to know each other. Plan out an activity that you think she will enjoy, such as going to the drive-in movies, or a board game café where you can spend quality time with privacy for conversation, without it being too threatening for her.

Step 4: The Bill
Always pay for the bill. Going Dutch is not an option on the first date, simply because manners dictate that the guy should pay for the dinner, or the movies. Paying for the bill without hesitation will also make your date feel like she is being treated like a princess, and that you value her company. It is also a subtle signal that you are a stable person who is capable of treating a woman right.Follow these 4 simple steps to gaining confidence with women. Remember, it is not about tricks and techniques, it is about holding your nervousness at bay to allow the real you to establish a connection or rapport with your date.

1. What you think of me is none of my business. What is most important is what I think of myself. — Robert Kiyosaki

2. Luck has a peculiar habit of favoring those who do not depend on it. — George Clason

3. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. — Tomas Edison

4. Just as we can learn from our mistakes, we can gain character from our disappointments. — Robert Kiyosaki

5. Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first. — Mark Twain

6. The self-confidence of a person multiplies their powers a hundredfold. — Robert Collier

7. Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you, too, can become great. — Mark Twain

8. Keep your thoughts positive, because thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive, because words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive, because behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive, because habits become your values. Keep your values positive, because values become your destiny. — Mahatma Gandhi

The first thing to realize is that whilst training can help to prepare you, speaking with confidence is something that comes with exposure. The more often you speak in front of an audience, the more you will realize that there is not much to be afraid of, and that most people are not as critical as you think they might be. This will help you to build your confidence naturally.

The reason why so many people are afraid of public speaking is because they are unable to overcome their nervousness. The cause of this feeling of anxiety can differ from each person, with most people being afraid of coming across as incompetent. No matter how much you have trained, or rationalized the reasons why you should not be nervous, it is normal to still feel this way. Try to take the focus away from your fear, as the more you dwell on it the worse it will seem and you will soon find yourself paralyzed by your fear. Look for something to distract you, or engage in relaxation techniques.

This is a perfectly normal feeling to experience, and only someone who does not care about the presentation is able to feel a total lack of nervousness. The feeling of intense nervousness is especially strong right before you step up to speak, and you should take deep breathes to calm yourself down. Make eye contact with the audience and smile at them, especially if you know them personally. This will help you feel as though you are speaking to friends. Smile, and it will help your body to relax as smiling is an expression associated with having fun. At the end of it, the most important thing you should do is tell yourself not to be nervous. You have put in the effort and the preparation for this speech, and you should place your faith in yourself.

Before you embark on your presentation, it is a good idea to find out more about the audience demographics. If it is an open event which does not have a specific target crowd, scan the audience to find out their general age and experiences. This will help you to build rapport and form a connection with them in the first 3 minutes of your speech. How do you do this? Try to identify possible reasons why your presentation will be beneficial to them, and why they should pay attention. Capture their interest in the most important few minutes of your opening speech, and let them know what you will be covering.

Always play to your strengths. If you have a naturally serious face, you can attempt to soften the speech by adding in a hint of humour. Similarly if you have a reputation for being a clown, try to keep to the facts and figures and make your presentation a formal but interesting one. Whilst numbers and data is often crucial information, it does not do well to either focus too much nor to gloss over them. Make sure you time yourself before your presentation, as a speech that drags on for too long no matter how interesting, will become boring and you will lose the audiences’ attention.

When delivering a presentation, it is a good idea to smile, but take care not to do this throughout the entire speech. It is also preferable to pick a topic that you are familiar with, or one that you have personal experience in. Public speaking is never easy, and you should not be afraid to ask for help. It is perfectly acceptable to inject humour or the unexpected into your presentation, and personal anecdotes adds a touch to your speech and will keep your audience attentive.

Ultimately, stage fright and nerves is something that cannot be overcome with a snap of your fingers. With increased performances, you will find it easier to overcome your fear of public speaking, as confidence is something that needs to be developed and honed over time.

As a parent or a teacher, it is your responsibility to motivate your child and help them build up their self confidence. It is a fine line to tread between teaching them what is right and wrong, and being too superfluous or critical in your comments. Below are some tips on how to build confidence in children.

1. Avoid Over Praising your Child

It is important to mean it when you encourage your child as they are able to differentiate when you mean it and when you don’t. Avoid giving them praises that are all encompassing as it may cause them to be nervous as they know they are unable to meet your praise. Instead, try to be specific in your encouragement, and point out exactly what you are praising them for. This will help them to building self confidence.

Whilst it is good to motivate your child, constantly praising them without grounds may cause them to form a higher self opinion that is not based in reality. This can cause them a lot of problems in future.

2. Link your Comments with their Actions

Children require constructive criticism and praise, so make sure that there is a obvious correlation and linkage between what you say and what they have done. If your child has behaved, reward them for the behaviour and tell them why. Similarly, if they have misbehaved, they should be punished adequately in relation to their actions so that they can understand that it was wrong. Never mix praise and criticism as it causes confusion for them.

Remember that you should avoid personal attacks; it is the behaviour you are trying to change, and not the child. Try to treat the child like you would a peer, and avoid embarrassing them in front of other people. Take them aside if you need to speak to them about their behavior, as it teaches them respect and makes them more amenable to what you are saying.

3. Compare your child to themselves only

You should never compare them to their friends or relatives, but rather, to themselves. Whilst it may be tempting to use other children as role models or examples, this is actually highly discouraging for the child. Just as your improvement should be based upon your past results, so it should be for your child. 

4. Be a good role model

Your children look up to you and are likely to mirror what they see in you. Hence if you suffer from poor self confidence, it will be difficult to help your child develop it as well. If you face this problem, work on improving yourself first before expecting your child to have a high self confidence.

5. Show them that you love them, unconditionally.

Lastly, by actively showing and telling them that you love them, it will help them to build their self confidence. This tells them they we appreciate them the way they are, and that we are there to guide and help them be better persons.

Undoubtedly, we have good intentions in trying to build confidence in children, and these 5 tips will help you to do it well. Your child craves attention, and if they don’t get enough of your attention they may resort to negative behavior to get your attention.

There are many athletes who are able to perform well during training and practice sessions, and yet when it comes to the big game that they have been training the entire year for, their performance is sub optimal. This is often termed as a lack of competitive confidence, which is different from practice self confidence.

How does one achieve competitive confidence? Self confidence is having faith and belief in your own ability and skills, without letting doubts or other’s comments affect you. In order to achieve improved competitive confidence, you have to achieve the same things as having a strong self confidence. However, it goes beyond that. Do not let your previous shot or play determine your level of confidence. You should base your confidence on the hours and years of practice and competitions that you have participated in.

It is easy for athletes to feel confident during practices, but they must be trained in competitive self confidence as well, in order to perform well. The best way to develop this is by working on building up mental strength through positive thinking. If you are an athlete, make a list of the thoughts and doubts that plague you and cause you to feel less confident about your performance. So long as you hold on to these thoughts, or allow them to stick negative self labels on your persona, you will not be able to perform at your peak.

Competitive confidence is not built up overnight; it is something that is accumulated through years of practice and success. Your self confidence should be something that transcends having a good practice session, it should be able to withstand failed or less than optimal performances and still go on playing with confidence. Keep in mind that you are more than just your last play or shot.

Champion athletes are able to be champions because they believe that they are the best in the world. Having a strong sense of self confidence in sports is important, and the best way to improve it is by having a positive self image. Take a few moments everyday to remind yourself why you are the best in the world, and believe in yourself. When you are next in a big game, you will find that your improved self confidence will help you keep or perhaps even breakthrough the limits that you have set for yourself.

Of course, having strong self confidence will probably make you happier and more satisfied with yourself and your life. Below, we will point out more of the benefits that improving your self confidence will bring you.

1. Spillover Effect
You probably first noticed your lack of self confidence when you met someone who seemed to have confidence radiating in waves off him. This is because of the spillover effects that having a high self confidence brings. You will find that people are capable of determining whether you have or lack self confidence, from the way you walk, look, and talk. Keeping your head held high is a signal that you are confident, just as hunching and drooping your shoulders shows a lack of confidence.

2. Your Emotions
People who lack confidence have a greater tendency to look down as they feel that they are not worth much. This lack of self worth causes one to smile less, and feel discontented with life in general. By improving your self confidence, you will be able to walk around with a bounce in your step, and you will also derive greater satisfaction from life.

3. An Advantage
You are your greatest resources, and hence you can become an advantage in life if you have high self confidence. People who are confident are able to influence others, as well as control their own thoughts and emotions. This allows them to keep negative thoughts at bay and to practice positive affirmations, helping them gain greater control over their own life. This positive attitude will ultimately lead to a more successful person than one who has a negative attitude.

4. Quality of life
When you go through life with a positive mindset, you are more prepared to deal with the challenges that you may face everyday. Your optimism will help you to recover from setbacks, and to meet challenges with enthusiasm. This will improve your quality of life, from the way you feel, think and act.

5. Self Worth
Lastly, having a high self confidence will help you remain strong and convicted of your own decisions in life, and negative opinions will not bring you down. This sense of self worth is build up with time and not something that happens over night. When you have a strong self worth, you will be able to perform at your optimal at all times.

Keep in mind that improving your self confidence is something that is achievable, and desirable. Make a plan today, and set out a check list to guide you along to improve your self confidence and reap the benefits that it will bring you.

Step 1: Avoid negative statements about yourself
The comments that you make about yourself, or to yourself, has a great impact on your self confidence. If you are thinking negative thoughts, it will lead to negative feelings about your situation and yourself. You may not realize it, but negative or self deprecating comments over time will erode your self confidence.

Step 2: Identify your own issues
I advise people that the above were my own personal issues and that each individual has to identify there own. Think about your strengths and how you can play to them, as well as your weaknesses and how you can improve upon them. Do not let your ego get in the way of over inflating your strengths, nor in downplaying your weaknesses.

Step 3: Self Affirmation
Just as it is important to avoid negative thoughts, positive thoughts are encouraged and have a uplifting effect on your emotions and confidence. Make a list of your accomplishments, no matter its magnitude, and acknowledge them. The power of the mind cannot be underestimated. If you desire something strongly enough, let it be the motivating force.

Step 4: Believe in yourself
Beliefs are things that we know to be true, and accept as true without needing to question or consider it. Believe that you can do what someone else can do, and you will be able to achieve it as well. In order to achieve such a level of self confidence for the previous statement to be true, you must first start believing in yourself so as to empower it. Hence, controlling what you believe is the key towards creating a life that you wish to have.

The key to building self confidence is to believe in yourself. If you have trouble trying out something new, it is not a bad thing to initially stick with what you’re familiar with. This will help you feel more confident, and give you the assurance to go ahead onto something new. By going into something new with a positive attitude and belief in your abilities, you will find it easier to be confident and act confident. Over time, you will find that your comfort zone will have increased significantly, as will your self confidence.

Step 5: Perseverance
There will always be setbacks in life, and we must learn to be more resilient in order to bounce back from these. When things do not go the way you planned, it is alright to be tough with yourself if you were to blame. The crux is not in just taking or laying the blame, but in figuring out what went wrong and how you can fix it. If the problem is something outside the scope of your control, it was not your fault in the first place.

Do not let the downs in life get to you. Take the time to think through what happened, and how you can avoid it from happening again. If you feel that you are in need of a confidence boost, speak to your friends and your family to put things in perspective.

Take the time to put these 5 simple steps into practice, and you will be well on your way to building up your self confidence. Meet your problems head on and learn how to deal with different situations. It is alright to be afraid, or to fail, the key is to keep moving forward and working on improving your self confidence.